


Drakonophobia

by Experiment282



Series: Realmverse [2]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Elder Scrolls Lore, F/M, Fear, Fluff and Angst, Mindfuck, Not Canon Compliant, POV First Person, Phobias, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Realmverse, Thieves Guild, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-02-18 22:23:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 109
Words: 430,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Experiment282/pseuds/Experiment282
Summary: I refused to talk about it at first. But maybe I can trust you with my secret fear...and shame. I've decided that this is my story to share to you, on how to overcome and to learn how to believe. F!Dragonborn X Brynjolf.





	1. Introductions

I'm sitting at the Ragged Flagon, having an ale. My fingers follow the cold curves of the tankard as I slouch back in my chair in my solid little corner by myself in the dreary, barely lit, sorry of an excuse of a tavern in the infamy of my Thieves Guild gear. This was a fragment of the world that was surrounded in a drip: humid, moist and the smell of the sweat of everyone man and woman in the cistern.

Some might say this isn't the best life for me but Talos' be damned if I didn't say I'm thankful to be alive. I'm just a pretentious and sneaky bitch and I'm proud of it. I've been part of the Thieves Guild for several months now. There are days where people in general just piss me off while others I'm having the time of my life.

Maybe you don't care about my life story, maybe you're curious how this light brown haired nord girl with the angry light blue eyes, that was born into an ordinary family, got wrapped up in this rag tag group of the most cunning group of men and women this side of Tamriel. Don't worry about a tragic past here people, my parents are still alive, I'd wager, tending to the farm in Northern Cyrodiil. Average, uneventful.

My memory is a little fuzzy on how I got here though...I can tell you the rest of that part of my life was my head on the chopping block and some how surviving and execution and...maybe not. No. I'm not going that way. That's the tragic part.

I feel like a younger girl, saying I'm not like other nords. While it is expected that we value honour and tradition above all us and that we're fighters to our last breath. Noble enough, but even I'd admit sometimes it'd get so ridiculously stupid that when I heard about the Civil War, I was just like, seriously people. Put your damn pride away. I'm sure there are way more important issues to deal with.

I don't know the whole story behind it, hearing it in other conversations during my travels and from my fellow Guild members. I don't give two septims about the war. All I care about is living from one day to the next and earning enough coin to keep it that way.

Your brow is furrowing isn't it? Where do I fit in with the Thieves Guild. Do I hear you say that why don't you just find some other way to make coin. Why don't you just go back to farming?

Why? Farming was as boring, repetitive and just...ugh...a rebellion! Hah! How cliché!

I become repulsed to the outright boring renditions of life. But, you say, I could have wound up with the Companions! At least they're favoured and well liked by the community and make plenty of coin. With plenty of honor and drink and feasting and all that nordic crap.

To be truthful, it could have ended that way. It was appealing at first. After...Helgen I did end up at Whiterun. But now I'm in Riften, getting plenty of coin. So shut up and keep your opinions to yourself...

But to those not questioning me just yet, good. I like you already. I think we can be friends. Friends let other friends on secrets so they are connected. A series of exclusivity between you and me. I've never had a friend before. Had friends in Cyrodiil but Skyrim is full of naught and frustrated old men and women. You work or you get neglected and left to rot. So you put effort in and make yourself worth while. Then you make friends...brothers...sisters. You know the fuzzy feeling you get when you're close to someone. No not that fuzzy feeling. I meant that...never mind. All you need to know is while hard work is respected, it can also been forgotten.

The Thieves Guild were sceptical of me joining their insipid ranks. Hey, it's not my fault Mr. Bigshot Brynjolf roped me into his scheming and plotting and all that bullcrap. I'd broken the law, aye, but I got away with it. He even seemed impressed that it actually went well. So I was sceptical of the Guild. So they were just jealous instead. Hah.

I never took it to heart of course. I'm a loner at heart but that's what made the work so good. Sneaking around, taking things by myself. Then getting my fair share at the end of it. Ironic isn't it? I do as I'm told by the bounds of the Guild but not by the laws of the realm. I never have to hurt anyone...well, not physically anyway. And I learn. I learn every single day and I become damn good at what I do. I work smarter, not harder.

Never really cared that no one besides Delvin or Vex talk to me for work, Vekel for the drinks and Tonilia for exchanging 'goods.' I was fine with it. An unspoken arrangement. Work never became boring. It was always exciting with the uncertain risk of getting caught. Often got the blood pumping.

I trained originally with several others to ensure that I'd survive and get through jobs quicker with their valued techniques. I practice with the locks in the training room and practiced with my bow in the training room, hoping I'd never actually get to use it. I'll try not to. The Guild frowns upon deaths on the job. I told them that they were worrying too much. I hate blood. Blood sickens me.

Reminds me of the stubborn pride of my people.

I retied my hair up into my pony tail. I always fiddled with my hair. Girly I know. To be considered feminine, I'd have to pray to Dibella to give me the gift of beauty. Beauty is useful for my line of work. Vex and Sapphire could vouch for that, meaning you can trick men into practically giving things to you. I'd have to admit those two were quite the catch themselves. I don't bend that way, I'm just giving those two the compliments they deserve. They put up with so much shit themselves.

Vex gets' constantly hit on by Delvin and Sapphire by Vipir. Me? I avoid the others like they were skeevers. They mean well sometimes but I know better than to avoid grown up lusting men who think more with their downstairs contraptions than the organs in their heads.

Brynjolf was the quiet one though. If I have to say he was the most levelled headed one besides Guildmaster Mercer. Not to say Delvin isn't, but he has his quirks. Considers the guild, 'cursed' for luck. Everyone has their theories but I make sure to make them look good.

I don't hate these people, don't ever mistake my displeasure for them for hatred. If I hated them I would have isolated myself elsewhere and gone off to another town for work. Probably would have been a bard! Nah, just kidding. But I have to admit the luxury would be nice. I just would not prefer to open my mouth.

Not again anyway.

Yeah so you would wager I don't talk much to others if you're smart enough to read between the lines. It's true, I'll admit it. But so much had gone on it's quite painful to talk about. But since we're going to be friends, I suppose I can let you in on something.

Helgen started it. The only thing I can say is that the image of bad, bleeding red eyes encased in giant, black, spiked monstrosity that put the fear of the Gods in me. Since then, I'd been reluctant to do anything. I never had anything planned out until the Imperial, Hadvar (probably the nicest one there, the only thing I can point out was his hesitation to put me to the axe. Why in Oblivion...never mind, not important.) navigated me and instructed me throughout our escape from the...incident.

I never fully recovered from it. I took the information to Whiterun. Met the Jarl. I'm wary of authority but you know, if it'd helped. I wasn't going to leave the poor sods in Riverwood open to an attack like that. (Since Riverwood was the next town after Helgen, they were most like susceptible to an attack)

Anyway, Jarl gets me to do a few jobs and you know, easy. Now, Draugr I could handle. My belief is the dead should stay dead and that was that. Arkay did not mean for the life, death then life again. Seriously it does not work that way. You don't know how many stories I've read where bad things happen with necromancy. Yeah, there's my excuse for not going to the College of Winterhold. You were thinking about that weren't you?

Aye, I gave no indication on that topic, just forget it now. Back to the story.

Now, at that stage there was obviously more going on that I'd care to know about. Retrieval isn't hard. I'm pretty capable with a bow. I used to go hunting with my father. I have good efficiency and aim and despise wasting arrows so I make every shot count.

But...no. I'm...not talking about it. I want to but I can't. Seriously I can't.

Stop pressuring me. Quit it.

Okay, you made me sigh, a well known sign of defeat. Very well. I'm just going tell you the short version. I was ordered to go to the Western Watchtower. On the account of a rumour a soldier that had just been there. I was like, okay. Sounded simple enough. It was amazing that the Jarl became fascinated by the fact that I was some magical figure he could trust. So I went there and...

Stuff happened. Crazy, messed up, eldritch magic just...

I'd fled to Riften. I hated the entire experience. So none of this makes sense to you? What in Oblivion forced my hand? What is it that pushed me in a bizarre direction? Reactions are reactions and it was just unpredicted. Simple as that.

Oh come on we just became friends. You want to know more? By Talos fine! I'll tell you...then let's head back into the kick of things. Oh, I never told you my name either. Sorry.

My name is Petra and I have a pathological fear of Dragons.


	2. Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra's daily life with the Thieves Guild

Jobs came and went. It became the day-to-day to basis for my life. (Or at times, was night-to-night)

Still sitting in my little corner of the flagon with my signature tankard. Vekel knew it was mine, it had my name on it. He got a bit pissed that I graffiti his stuff. He got over it eventually, but my gut told me that was still annoyed by it.

So far I've learned during my time in the Thieves Guild, that when you first join, everyone hates you. Simple as that. It's rare that they like you at first glance, only because, hey, you're the new blood. You don't know the ropes or the tiny secret things they do. You might be in but by Talos they don't make you feel that way. You feel out of it, like some kind of outsider looking in.

I felt that at first. I wasn't liked as expected. I didn't care. I wasn't there to make friends. I make my contributions, do what ever and sleep. Sometimes they'd play jokes on me. Especially Vipir, the stupid bastard.

Sapphire, while a bitch at first, had her own reasons. I could sense a pain in her heart. It's weird how we girls have this touch of empathy with one another. But I could tell she was glad there was another female in the group. She never said it herself but she'd go off at the men for their idiotic schemes. She was like me, in a way. We wanted to be left alone. Which was fair enough. Like I'd explained previously, I avoid people. Simple. I dealt with people but the challenge was to make sure they didn't notice you. I liked it that way. But in the end, I was still an ordinary woman.

Over time, the weeks after you first join, you eventually find your little niche. Your own place in the guild. Not that anyone respects you still, but they either get bored and even forget you're still there. In my case, I slapped Vipir in the face and demanded he stop putting fish in my bed. He was ready to bash my skull in until Brynjolf intervened. He actually told them to stop pestering me. Brynjolf, the red-headed second-in-command, managed to care enough for them to stop.

One of my quirks, is my inability to say thank you. I wasn't deserving of help since I prefer to do things myself. I had glared at Vipir, then walked away.

No, I went to Delvin, got a job and had full intentions of leaving the cistern, until I was grabbed by the shoulder. One of my pet peeves is being touched by other people. I detest it. Loathe it. I promised myself I would punch the person who touched me.

I turned around with rage quickly building inside of me. Ohhh this person was gon-

It was Brynjolf.

Why was the second-in-command talking to me again?

"Don't mind the boys lass. They won't be bothering you any more." He said calmly. Brynjolf had the body of a brute, whipped up in his black guild master version of our armour.

You know, I saw Bryn as one of those optimistic people in the middle of a pessimists crowd. The day he dragged me in here he was hopeful that what he'd seen in me was a light in the storm. He was impressed, happy even that I'd been one of the successful ones to join and actually not walk away. I needed the coin at the time and thought, why not? Though the guild was falling apart as of late, Brynjolf just kept pushing things along, the heavier they got. He honestly did not belong here in this sewer of brooding and failures.

I never bothered to stare him in the eyes. I glanced to the side, apathetic.

I never said thanks.


	3. Travel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra defines the perks of being a thief and having a trusty steed.

I'd been over to Markarth to rewrite a ledger in the local shop there. The guild had organised a heist of goods coming from Solitude. Shipments to Markarth were often raided by the Forsworn, natives of the Reach. Disgusting. I just can't take people seriously wearing something as thin and barely-skin-covering as practical. They were nuttier than Sheogorath.

I'd saved a ladies life from someone proclaiming to be Forsworn but the guards quickly covered that crap. It was fishy, but this was not my problem. I am a lady of the Rift. Hah..yeah, a real lady.

I was discreet in my endeavour as always. Pick lock to get inside, scribble and stuff and get the Oblivion out.

What I liked about the Thieves Guild was that you didn't have to be flashy or glamorous and the only expectations they had of you was how much coin you'd make. Pity majority of the people wasted much of their coin on petty gambling or getting drunk. Me. Just making a living. That was all.

Responsibility was tiring and felt so restrictive. I wanted my freedoms. Boundaries were made to safeguard certain aspects but they were there to protect ourselves and the sanctity of the Guild. Nothing could be said about it's dignity though.

Be it as it may, I enjoyed the attention it didn't give me. It was part of the requirement to be ignored and shafted aside. I was content to live out my life in such a peaceful way that the quietness was a song that was soothing to my ears. Nords can be a noisy, dirty and brash bunch and I hated that. So typical of my people.

Aye, the rebel in me refused to conform to societal standards. The Guild was unto itself and more. I don't doubt that every single man and woman in there was in for themselves but there was no shame in it. It'd been encouraged.

So I made my way back to Riften with my work done. One part of these kinds of jobs was the distance. Solitude and Markarth were the worst, requiring me to go from one part of the province to the other and I despised it.

You're guessing it now that I'm just being a milk-drinker and complaining about every single damn thing. I don't give two septims about what you think. I am allowed to hate things as I wish. While I can hate, complain, whinge and whine, I put up with it. I am alive and that is the only quality I am thankful for.

All I need you to do is listen. You may not understand but given time a part of you will see me for what I am.

I went along the long road with my horse, Cody. Such a loyal horse and the only companion I could trust with it's rich red coat and white mane and tail. It had a white diamond on it's face which I thought was adorable.

While I liked the silence and though I am talking to you now, I chatted with Cody as a true friend. Cody never made judgement, never commented or made a smart ass remark. I bought him from the Stables after a successful heist made me a lot of money. I'd always wanted horse of my own after riding the horses back in Cyrodiil. Skyrim horses aren't as fast but their endurance is well worth the trade. Sorry I was just laughing at the prospect of Cody putting up with my antics. Enduring in more ways than one.

I relayed my doubts, my fears, my heart into talking with Cody and it just made me feel a lot better. We'd come across the odd traveler down the road where I stopped talking.

But Petra, you just said you didn't care what people would think?

No, you misunderstand. I spoke to Cody about my secrets. It was never about looking strange from giving casual conversation to a horse, but from other people finding out more about me. They knew nothing and deserved to know nothing.

I'd made it to Whiterun and slowly trotted past the central hub of Skyrim. I'd been back there a few times but never made it back to Dragonsreach to tell the Jarl what had happened that day at the Western Watchtower. So...

I fell into melancholy and bad memories. Cody must have sensed this as he bucked, jumping me out of my trance. I patted his head and apologised.

I made him go faster towards the eastern lands, to traverse past pain.

I've hunted down animals on certain jobs. Wolves and spiders mostly. Wolves were sneaky bastards, coming in packs of three, jumping out from the darkness with their stomach on their minds. My arrows often made quick work of them. But they were ravenous. Spiders as well. Their clicking grossness and their web-goo was just. Ew. Gross.

My mother had a fear of spiders. It's a natural phobia in a lot of people. I have the element to hit them where it hurts. I love my mother, I do. She hates the smallest of spiders so dad and I killed them. Funny then but now I know what it feels like to fear. Not...not fear

To dread...

I've apologised to Cody on behalf of saying to sorry to my mother. While we had something in common besides knowing how to cook a mean apple pie, it was a pity we never really got to talk a lot. Our relationship was fine, if not distant. I was often with my father, working on the farm. Not exactly fantastic but it put food on the table.  
My father taught me a lesson that while no one likes doing the dirty work, it's often the most important job of all. Somebody has to do it.  
Just like I have to do the hard yards before I get the relief of sitting back with a tankard full of ale and reading a good book. A reward for good, honest (hah) work. It pleased the bosses, made others envious, which was very telling that I was doing very well with myself. I tried to not let it get to my head. Like other stuff.

I'd just gotten past Shor's stone as the sun was about to rise from behind the nearby snow-blanketed mountains. Got to love when nature blesses you with the gift of light. I tried to hurry, the sun was probably my enemy. I'd just been up all night and I was dying to go to bed and sleep.

Everything was fine and dandy. Until a single roar opened my eyes wide.


	4. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear and frustration come to fruition.

I hadn't heard that sound in like, forever. My heart was pumping, but not in a good way. I was out of breath and I wasn't even running. Every part of my body froze and Cody just stopped in his tracks. The roars became louder and I started to shake violently.

 **No**. Not this again. I...

I forced myself to move and charge myself forward. The sound came from behind. I could sense the lingering tinge of the heat. It had given off a terrible shout. By Talos I pleaded for it to go away, but the memories of Helgen flooded back and the only part in my mind was that terrible dragonfire.

My body argued with me. With everything. My nerves, my muscles...all influenced by this creature that inspired something so extremely painful and agonizing that I couldn't stand it. My mind was everywhere, scattered in the mess that was my head. Sweat; with a clamped throat that prevented me from speaking, my eyes aching as tears fell everywhere. I'd taken every breath as if it were my last. By the Gods, they just might be.

_Yes...the sweat, the tight throat, the flush of heat, the heavy breathing, the inescapable fate of my nightmares._

I turned around, seeing the giant red flying lizard shouting at me, casting it's flames towards me. I flanked to the right, diverting myself into the amber-leaved woods of fall.

I've practiced my archery in these woods, for bears and the like. But the beast flew over head, overshooting it's mark and flew around and stared at me. Cody skidded to a halt, while the dragon yet again attempted to cook me.

Please Talos, I didn't want to die.

We continued our hasty rush through the woods, trying to lose it's trail. We came into the thicker part of the woods, as I had hoped to lose in underneath the cover the the trees.

My heart was beating as fast just as it was on that day in Helgen and that day at the Western Watchtower. I was drenched in sweat and salty tears.

Get it together Petra!

It flew off to the side, probably trying to flank me. In that moment, Cody tripped over a rock, sending me flying...

I remember hitting my head on something, a huge surge of pain, then the darkness that followed.

* * *

But the darkness came and went as it pleased. I couldn't see Cody, I feared he'd been killed by the Dragon. My head hurt. I pressed my hand against it, feeling a warm ooze. I'd been critically injured and I was barely conscious. Just fantastic Petra you clumsy idiot. Now you're covered in blood. Such a fool! Idiotic, cowards and other refutable insults to myself!

The one thought in my mind was Cody. Please be safe. Run to Riften and stay there...my only...companion was just at the desperation in those forethoughts, as I dragged myself along the ground, trying to find a notable hiding spot. Every effort to move to pure agony. I swallowed hard. Push yourself Petra. Move!

I could hear the Dragon's roars still, but they were getting fainter to hear. It was either I'd hit my head so damn hard it affected my hearing or it was actually leaving. I so desperately hoped it was latter, as you would guess.

I'd looked around. I managed to pick myself off the ground. Magical...I could use a tankard of ale right about now. But seriously though, I'd never picked this job itself to get into anything unbelievably violent. It wasn't a requirement but it'd be handy if in the case I had to something no words could convince a person to do something.

People could be as stubborn as each other. So stuck in their ways that ultimately change challenges them the most. They hate it. They're often called Nords.

Me though, change isn't entirely awful. For reality to stay the same can substantially boring real quickly. Parts of us are naturally stubborn, our hearts that rule our heads. Influenced by pride. Again, it was just an expectation of us.

Stubbornness was not all bad. It could also been seen as a gift from the Gods. A way to tell us not to give up in what we believe in. If you honestly believe such tripe. No, it was a way of refusing us to die.

At that moment that's what it was. I was still damn right shaken with fear and spilling with blood enough for the wolves to suss out, a part of me kept upright. But I could be overcome with the very anxious of the dragons return and unable to move at all.

I honestly had no idea where I was. While the cover of the trees protected me from the sight of the beasts above, it also prevented me from seeing the silhouettes of the trees. Smart Petra, now you really are going to die with no one knowing where you were. I felt more sorry for Cody than for myself. He'd better have gotten himself to safety...

I found a bear cave, two bears. I rolled my eyes and took out my bow. I staggered a bit, a bit stunned still from my concussion. I was willing to fight bears. Easy work. Two shots to their heads. No, two shots to each bears head. They were down and out before they could barely touch me. I was proud I could still had skills despite being injured.

I made my approach to the small cave. To say it was a cave was shameful. I was just a small nook underneath some rocks. There was a distinct rot floating in the air. I'd realised my heart was so twisted and torn from the experience, that that push of the smell made me vomit. I was lucky I knew I was going to, I forced myself to stumble nearby to let go of that apple I ate earlier.

Can you believe I actually started to crawl around? Oh the Guild would start hackling at me. But they don't have stories of fighting off Dragons now do they? All they do is sit around and tell of their crude and sexual jokes was just so...chauvinistic. I don't know how the other girls do it. Especially Vex. Though, they'd never say it around her or they'd risk a dagger to their throats. I wish they were smart like that around me. Perhaps I should just demonstrate the risk of taunting me one day and then they'll learn.

I leaned back on the stone edge behind me. Not exactly comfortable, but a lot better than sitting in the gut of a dragon or with teeth digging into my skin...By the Gods that thought just made my stomach twist so bad that I could have thrown up again. My breath was still heavy and my whole body and muscles were so tense that I became solid in that spot. I sobbed and shook like mad.

My whole body flushed under the image of the beast. I made utmost dedication to force my head to look to my right, peaking through the bushes of the trees, seeing the sun rise in the distance made me relax slightly and smile.

I don't normally smile like that. It hurt. It did little to ease the pain. My throat was sore and tight from fear and my face was wet with salty, warm tears.

Everything went dark again.

Then the next thing I know, some red-headed bastard decides to stick his face in when I awoke again.

That's it, I blacked out altogether.


	5. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Petra drifts in and out of consciousness, she suffers from the lack of any power to counteract the Guild as they talk about her situation, unaware that she's listening in.

I hated being the damsel in distress. This was pathetic. I wanted to sleep first, wake up feeling better then I could have headed back to the Guild, let Delvin know I had done my job and be done with it. Then sleep again.

You have no idea how angry this made me. I was so pissed off. There was no strength left in me to create cause to argue. I could barely open my mouth to say anything. Let alone raise my fist and to scold my alleged saviour.

He ruined my plan. Ruined all of it. Gah. No why would I tell you this? Now? Does it need telling? Don't you know me by now? You've been blocking out most of the story haven't you. Never mind.

I'm not expecting you to feel sorry for me. I just want you to know and understand. We're friends? Remember?

I drifted in and out of consciousness, hearing the whispers and chatter of my fellow guild members. The voices of Delvin and Vex made the odd comment here and there. I listened in to their conversation as much as my ears could bear. I know someone was doing something to me, but by that stage I as numb...really numb. I wanted to protest, I wanted them to go away and leave me be and I'll recover fine.

Leave me alone.

"What the bloody hell happened out there Bryn? She's bleedin' all over the joint."  
That would have been Delvin, no mistake about that. His accent was a dead give away.  
I could hear Brynjolf's breath over my right ear. He must have been working hard. I distinctly remember that's where I'd hit my head. Or where the actual pain was coming from originally.

"No idea. I'd noticed her horse coming back to the Stables by itself. Petra never leaves her horse by itself."

How could...what? He..how could? What?  
Cody was alive though. Thank the Gods. Has Brynjolf been observing me lately? I had a shiver squirm down my spine.

"How did you know where she was?"

That superior but nice sounding voice was Vex. Nice to hear she sounded like she cared. Funny Vex, you make me laugh.

"Cody has a mind of his own. I'll question Petra about it later when she wakes up. But the horse is very loyal to his owner. Lead me to trail of blood that lead me to a bear cavern."

And here we are.

"I'd only sent her to Markarth to do some ledger work." Delvin commented.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

"What in Oblivion was she doing out in the woods then? Unless you're telling me ledger work involves a lot more work than forging numbers. " Vex stated.

No...not really.

"I saw two dead bears nearby. Petra is a good shot but I don't think bears did this to her."

Talos! Brynjolf stop analysing me! It was starting to creep me out.

"No claw markings. Just a great bloody big gash on her head."

I imagined the sound of a slow clap. Ah Brynjolf you amusing fool. I heard another set of heavy footsteps approaching.

"Ah what's the matter? Brynjolf's little pet get hurt in the woods?"

That refreshing sarcasm had to be Mercer. Mercer was a dick but you could at least rely on him to be a dick. I actually heard Brynjolf growl under his breath. Was the red-headed bastard actually taking offence to that? This was going to be good. I heard Vex and Delvin chuckle. I eagerly awaited Brynjolf's retort.

"I see your little Nightingales alerted you to this. So I'll say yes. I just need to finish stitching her up."

I didn't even need to see Mercer's face to know that he just didn't care. I had this deep thought that he would have preferred to allow me to suffer in the woods. I was going to be right but the Guild Master would never have to say it. I don't even know why they even bothered to care about one of their own. I would have half-expected them to leave me to die out there. That was fine. I didn't actually need them. I would have found work elsewhere eventually. Sovngarde forgive I'd go back to farm work, but I would always remember my fathers words and stick myself to something I hated simply to keep on living.

Brynjolf was just full of surprises. He defends me from the other guild members then outright saves me. It hardly matched up to what the guild offered. This sickened me. I wanted to be ignored. I only wanted to speak to others if they required me. Brynjolf needed me once and that was it. Just give me a call.

How did he know me like that though? Were my quirks, actions and all sorts of personality traits that noticeable, and ergo, that I was actually being cared for? I wanted to stay away from him as much as possible but somehow he preferred placing himself in my life more than I deemed comfortable.

I fell back into the embrace of the darkness once more. No other thanks could be given anyway...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people are enjoying this. Because this is fic is long and will probably end in the most bizarre way.


	6. Surface Dwelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra prepares herself for a fetch quest on the surface.

 

I woke up feeling light headed after that little incident. No matter. I was awake. I could walk, talk and do what ever.

Like I had planned, I avoided Brynjolf. I only came back down into the Flagon when it was necessary. I stayed adrift on the surface. The sun was a spotlight, but as it was a spotlight on everyone, nobody was deemed special. Perfect.

I saw Ingun Black-Briar floating about. Probably the only one creepier than her Matriarch mother Maven. She had this, obsession for alchemy. She'd been out and about. Word on the street was that she was looking for someone to help her fill out her order of missing ingredients she'd been using in the shop by the canal.

This was an opportunity for me to forget everything that had just taken place earlier that morning and get my mind on something practical and get some coin on the side.

I'd introduced myself to girl who was a near spitting image of her terrifying mother, albeit looking like her in her younger years. But her personality, while the exact opposite of Maven's was peculiar. Different, aye. You know what? I liked that about her. Outspoken in her own family and didn't care for what her mother thought about it. She'd wanted her mother to be proud of her. My own two septims on the subject would basically be either that, and let me just count the outcomes and possibilities on my fingers here...

Either didn't care...highly likely.

Already proud. I was like Maven. People annoyed me, but a select few could be impressive that straight-away secured my respect. Maybe Maven was the same. I almost freaked out.

I uh, had other theories but they just didn't sound like Maven-related. The thoughts were funny though. Like the time I'd imagine Ingun or Maven's womanising son Sibbi having kids. It'd be like the Oblivion Crisis all over again.

So Ingun gave me a list...twenty deathbells...nightshade and nirnroot. Each. Twenty. Oh sweet Mara. A fetching quest! I just felt like a click in my head informed me of a new mission...or maybe it was the concussion talking. It was enough to keep my mind at ease.

Yes. Good. Right. So you're thinking...what's gonna happen next? Do you want to guess?

If you guessed Brynjolf standing in front of the gates outside of Riften, you would be correct! Twenty gold to you my friend!

You know what? I still never said thank you.


	7. Pairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can one man drive her this crazy?

 

I've had plenty of people in my life who just...make you scrunch your hands and scream up at the sky.

Brynjolf was just twenty of those people at once. I wanted to yell I wanted to just bash the crap out of him at the moment. But I couldn't. The man who stitched me. Why Talos...why?

I restrained myself rather well. The man made every attempt to look into my eyes without outright touching me or moving around. Impressive. Now quit bothering me.

But he wouldn't give.

"Oh blessed second-in-command, what brings out you out here on this fine Loredas day!" I spoke sarcastically. There was enough scorn in those words alone, but he still didn't budge.

Just look at him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and stupid looking face. Give me a break!

"I want to talk about what happened earlier." He questioned.

I detected several signals in his words. It was like a mashed up mixture of concern, worry, anger and some other stupid emotions. Build a damn bridge you red-headed bastard. It did not concern you. While you fixed me up, I am fine now.

"I fell off my horse." I said bluntly. Not a lie. Just a quick story to get him to stop aggravating me, go back to his actual business and stop this pointless game.

But that look in his eyes meant he wasn't convinced. I was starting to hate this man more and more.

Funny thing though. Brynjolf was quick to judge. It reminded me that he was a thief. He was a quick steal. It took a thief to know the whole truth was stolen from my words.

Are you a thief friend? Don't do this. Avoid as many unnecessary conversations as possible and you can avoid this kind of crap.

I noticed him glaring. He wasn't happy with my answer. Obviously. His head tilted down. Woah, calm down.

"Petra. I know you. You aren't careless." He spoke coldly but that kind of conflicted with the concern. He was getting harder to read.

I sighed.

"Bryn. I am fine. But we are all careless at times. Mercer doesn't care. So what does it matter?"

Brynjolf lifted his chin. I'm trying to get his angle but he was being extremely difficult.

"The others might not care. You yourself might not care. I do."

I had this massive internal groan. Ugh.

"Don't know why you bother. Just your average little member. We never speak. We never engage in great conversation."

And low and behold he actually cracks a smile. But I think it was a bit more with venom than I anticipated.

"Because you refuse to talk to anybody lass. It's hard when you don't take the chance to try."

I rolled my eyes. His voice was so...how do I put, twinged with anger. Good. If I provoke him enough, maybe he'll leave me alone.

"Because I don't come down to the Flagon to have fun. I do what I have to then I'm gone." I continued.

Brynjolf sneered at me. Yes...this was a good sign.

The day Brynjolf recruited me I always had this notion he was trying to do something but didn't know what. A spark somewhere that everyone in the Guild, even Mercer, lacked. I have no idea what convinced him to make me join.

I don't even know what it was that made me join. Did I mention that? Or was I making up excuses earlier?

"That's all well and good. I know talent when I see it. Don't waste that lass." He told me.

Haha..

Hahahahah I knew it! Mercer was right. I was his pet to be molded. Now he was trying to keep hold of his precious recruit and steer me where he saw fit. How typical.

"You guys use me. I'm under your employ. What I do out of job is of no ones concern. Not even yours." I informed him.

Then Brynjolf spoke of something I would have never expected him to say.

"Very well. Come with me. We have work to do."

….

I still never said thanks.


	8. Seduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf and Petra go on a job in Windhelm, where she puts her acting skills to the test.

 

Two-person jobs were rare. I'd rather go solo myself but as Brynjolf was second-in-command I had no choice. Brynjolf you sly sonvabitch! He'd navigated himself into a scenario and snagged me into his little plan. I half imagined him in fire and brimstone, laughing manically, that it actually worked. Scary image. He was second-in-command after all. He would have to have earned that position at one point. I begrudgingly went along with what ever he told me to do. But I simply refused to talk about the incident.

We both went to meet with a contact in Windhelm. I've done a few jobs there. Miserable city of stone, snow and murder. But the silence was nice.

Brynjolf was kind enough to let me ignore everything around me. I was half-tempted to have a wander around, go to Candlehearth Hall and relax. I just wanted to get away from the man.

He restrained himself on the way there, being surprisingly quiet. He must have gotten the message well then. Because he never brought the topic up again.

Thank the Gods.

The job that was being requested was two fold. First, I was instructed to head over to the the stingy and depressing market quarter and start bothering the shit out of the guard while Brynjolf was busy doing what ever the Oblivion he needed to do. By bother, I mean seriously flirt with him. You know what? This was going to be fun.

I don't normally flirt but I was attractive enough. I did enough philandering around in Cyrodiil. Get your head out of the gutter! By the Gods. I just knew a lot of guys. Majority were obnoxious Imperial men eager to get their hands on a snow-skinned and muscled nord woman. Hah. No.

I slithered myself up close and worked my Dibellan charm. I felt so dirty but it was hilarious to act on. I was pulling a Brynjolf (my term for people putting their noses where they didn't belong) and made the man so uncomfortable.

I touched the mans muscley arm as my eyes were half-lidded and I was in full-seductive mode. I whispered naughty things in his ear. I couldn't see his face, obviously because he was wearing a helmet. But I could feel his goosebumps and felt the heat emanating from his cheeks. That was just an assumption but I knew it was happening. It always did.

I heard Brynjolf call my name. I kept in the act and slithered away from the Guard, who I swear to Dibella was just really confused. And judging from his pants, became really aroused. Okay, that was too far.

We both visited Candlehearth Hall afterwards after our successful job. It was nothing to write home about. But we both sat up there by the table in the left hand corner, sipping mead from a bottle and watching the flames from the hearth dance about. Even if you weren't sitting near it, it still made you feel warm somewhat.

I stared at it. And I continued to stare. It brought back memories of Helgen. And the big black dragon. I fell back into Oblivion, eyes widened and I wasn't aware I was starting to shake that I almost dropped my mead, if it weren't...

"Lass."

I snapped back into reality and shook my head. I turned to Brynjolf. He'd been disturbingly observing me yet again. I looked away, annoyed. But I still bore the weight of his stare. I couldn't...sigh, I couldn't fool the man.

"Somethings bothering you. And if somethings bothering you, the Guild doesn't have your full concentration. And if you don't have full concentration..."

I swallowed hard and placed my mead on the table.

"I'm fine." I lied.

He didn't bother answering. He knew what I meant by that. It wasn't by the words I said but the tone I said it in. He picked up on this rather quicker than I expected. And it was scaring me. Was it really that obvious? I started to wonder what the man was thinking. He could be contemplating a thousand thoughts at once. All about me. I shuddered at that very concept.

He stood up, indicating it was time to head back to Riften.

We didn't take our horses. We ended up going to Shor's Stone by foot, since the client was there. It was, for once, a nice walk. Quiet...the way I liked it. Brynjolf's mouth was shut for once, thank Talos.

I never complained about the long walks. It gave me the absoluteness of the land and the lack of people concluded the total freedoms of the wilds. While the roads were normally protected, there was a spiritual feeling of the lack of boundaries that were faced.

I completely ignored Brynjolf and was sucked into my own internal thoughts. Though I might have taken a few glances at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Most likely multiple ways of getting me to talk. He wasn't going to get to me that easily.

I was trying to figure his reasons to care at all. I'm just your average nord girl, with her not so average phobia. I never dreamed it as such but sometimes it was enough to keep me up at night.

I pray to Talos, to you friend to not walk down the same path I do. You have your life ahead of you. You can do as you please. I am but an unrepentant thief wishing to go on the path to nowhere and end up nowhere. Ending up at a cross roads.

Why you ask do you want that? Life has a beginning and an end. Dragons don't. They'll always be there. The whispers that bounced about their return. I am stuck in the middle of it all. Somehow.

Dragons and me...I never understood how they fit together until that day at the Western Watchtower.

We both made it to Shor's Stone in one piece. Met up with the client, then made our way back to Riften. Still silent, still mute...but everything that was unspoken was still being said. The silence became deafening.

It took me a while to realise I'd been staring down the entire trip back to Riften. So many thoughts scrambling around. The burning stare of the red-headed bastard. It all boiled to what actions I took and what remained of me to hold on to. There was no way of shadowing the intent of my thoughts. Brynjolf was immune to my trickery and it was just so frustrating of the man. But then I realised.

He was a Nord.

Like me.

Stubborn.

It made a lot more sense. Recall what I said earlier friend? Yeah...you get it now. Stubbornness was just our way. He refused to quit because it was his nature. I was beginning to believe it was futile in my attempts to hide absolutely everything.

Because before you know it, the roar of a dragon echoed through the skies.

No one deserves a thanks here.


	9. The Dragon Returns. I'm screwed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra's fears are put to the limit as some idiot puts himself in harms way.

That bastard still lingered. No not Brynjolf. The damned Dragon that tried to kill me this morning!

Once again, I froze and started to shake violently. I could feel the sweat, the tight throat, the heavy breathing, the flush of heat start all over again. Seriously, twice in one day? You have got to be kidding me...

A cold spike shot up my spine. I couldn't move. Brynjolf was busy looking around, then turned back to me and could see the utmost fear buried to deep into my watery eyes. My mouth gaped.

"Lass..." He spoke seriously. No that was not curiosity of poking around my head for answers. He was calling me from the cold void of fear.

"I...Bryn..." I gulped. I struggled to speak. I peered my eyes slowly to the Dragon making its way to us.

Brynjolf saw it as well. I noticed his facial expression changed dramatically.

"Shor's Bones a dragon!" He called out.

Nah skeever brain, it's a troll. What in Oblivion did he think this was? Damn it, still couldn't move. Where's Cody? He'd forced me to move. I was damned, cursed by this shitstain.

Brynjolf brought out his bow and started firing at it. I could have sworn he was yelling at me, but apparently by that time I'd fallen to the ground, and huddled into a fetal position.

"Shit!" I heard Brynjolf cry as I laid down below. The force of the dragon flying low overheard caused the ground to shake, almost tipping the man over.

"We've got to warn the city guard! We can...lass?"

Shit shit shit...I was crying, shaking with this cursed fear of mine. I hated it. What made it worse, was that Brynjolf was here to see it. He couldn't believe it. Neither would I. But now wasn't the time to dwell on discoveries. He knew and I knew that we had to get out of there and go straight back to Riften.

Problem was, I was bottled up and still and unmovable like a giant stone. Brynjolf, go back to Riften by yourself you  _selfish, annoying, red-headed bastard_. Go...I wanted to scream but my throat was constricted. My mind shattered and no longer controlled itself, nor did I have the strength or will to move my own body.

Fire, brimstone and dead red eyes continued to drill themselves into my memories. I felt like I was being dragged around though. I was moving but I didn't know how. My eyes were blurred and I was being whisked away. Fire..

Fire everywhere.

The roars continued. I saw several shots fired in the terrifying display of tenacity.

"Petra, I'm borrowing your arrows..."

Brynjolf, I am out of commission. How could you be so sane and level headed when  **THERE WAS A DRAGON OUT THERE TRYING TO KILL US!**

But yeah, take my arrows...go ahead. Sure as Oblivion that I wasn't going to use them any time soon.

I heard numerous grunts and shouts amongst the chaos befalling. My eyes were failing me. I no longer comprehended on what was I even looking at any more. But more grunts joined in the most bizarre chorus I'd ever heard. I was hallucinating again. My vision returned briefly, I'd look out, I was behind a giant rock, with Brynjolf aiming his bow at the dragon, which was now, well, riddled with numerous arrows and was extremely pissed.

Good going idiot. Now we're gonna die for sure.

Then he just happened to run out of arrows.

This was the best day in my life.

Sarcasm friend, makes you feel better.

I sensed Bryn taking out his dagger and had attempted to go outright attempt to battle the Dragon on foot with a melee weapon.

Despite my current dilemma, supposedly locked into my phobia phase, I grabbed hold of Brynjolf and dragged him straight down to my level. He stared, surprised, into my deathly pale, tear riddled face as I shook my head with wild intensity. I'd prayed to Talos that no one would ever see me like this, pathetic and weak.

" _N-no._ " I gasped out. Even in the stance of my great nightmare I could still string up a sense of stubborn behaviour that every explanation I could give would just be a way of excusing my actions.

Brynjolf blinked. Yeah he kinda didn't expect that brief moment of...what ever that was. I wasn't either.

"We'll both die sooner or later, right now I can only try!"

I gritted my teeth with fury. No...I refused him the fight and...

The kill...

I felt possessed at this stage, my mind curled up into the eye of the storm. The chaos was all around me and where we were was just a thin tendril of stability. I whacked Bynjolf to the ground with what force I had and glared at the Dragon, piercing my rage and sorrow through it's enraged, fire-filled eyes. My heart pumped harder than it ever did, I was drenched in sweat and my stomach was so twisted it could have just snapped under the sheer pressure of it all. I'd found Bryn's dagger in my hand. The Dragon knew me. Well obviously from before but from before that...

" _Dovahkiin..._ "

Was I wrong?

I tried so hard to loosen my mouth, but then let slip a major ' **FUS** ', utterly stunning the beast, giving it enough pause for me to charge at it, still in the thrill of uncontrollable fury, to swing the dagger at the creature. I cried so damn hard and roared myself so hard that I continuously and violently stabbed it's head over and over, causing the dragon to cry out in pain that drove blades into my heart. Blood gushed everywhere like it was raining oblivion and I was unable to stop myself stabbing the damn thing until it was dead. I cried and wailed until the beast lay limp and motionless. It was over as a wave of relief came over me.

I had a feeling what was gonna happen next. I fell to the ground, and pushed myself back in great haste to the giant rock where Brynjolf had watched the entire event happen by himself, mouth gaped open. We watched the dragon burn up in flames. I bumped into Brynjolf and subconsciously clung on to his leg as I screamed. As the dragon continued to burn, glowing, coloured streams escaped from it's body, the energies coming to me as my body absorbed it all, leaving the dragon nothing but a decayed skeleton lying on the ground.

I waited until the energies finally dissipated before falling. My screaming was hitched as my throat had constricted itself again. I stopped dead once more and just had my eyes on the dragon skeleton. Just like the Western Watchtower dragon with the flames of the giant dragon of ebony.

Brynjolf looked down at me. He could see my hand twitching. He sat down next to me and grabbed it.

It was warm, hardly did much to stop me from shaking but..even I had to admit, it felt nice...no, no  _no no_   **no**   _ **no**_!

I pulled my hand away and attempted to stand. This was so confusing. My heart hurt and my stomach ached so much that I pushed Brynjolf away and scrambled as far as I could manage and vomited. He had to be disgusted by that right? So he had to leave me alone?

Nope...he just grabbed hold of my hand again. No fright at all. I tried to resist but my body. I didn't know I...

The more I tried to get away, the harder Brynjolf made it for me to do so, holding me, wrapping his arms around me as tight as he could. I cried and was trying so hard that I eventually ran out of energy and completely collapsed in his arms. My crying delved down to soft sobbing and sniffles.

We sat against the rock itself, with Bryn holding me as close as he could. He had to adjust himself to cross his legs and got me to sit in his lap. I couldn't rebel for the life of me to prevent him from doing so. My head rested in the cradle of his neck, as he had one arm wrapped around my back and the other curling upwards towards the top of my head, rubbing it gently.

I didn't even have the capability to say thank you.


	10. Brynjolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The red headed bastard talks about the time he met a feisty woman in a torn, yellow dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Yes this is Brynjolf's POV)

I first met the the lass one day in the plaza. I had to admit the Guild was in shambles and I was desperate to do anything I could to scrape the rare horde of coin our way in this run down city, filled with dishonesty, bankruptcy and corruption. And I was a part of that.

A lot of members left. I didn't blame them. We'd gone to complete crap. With rumours of Dragons and war, this was only going to get worse. Everyone who was left, did what they could just as I had. Vekel had threatened to pack up and leave, but depressed men and women still flocked to the Flagon to temporary ease their troubles and find their power at the bottom of a bottle.

I walked up to the plaza each day, doing the same junk of work and summary of complete lies and scandal. There was one job that needed to be done, but I wanted to also prove to Delvin that this supposed 'curse' was non-existent and we were in over our heads. It was to suss out the weak and the clever, the stupid from the those with talented hands.

I put up with it to give the Guild a trickle of coin with the absolutely most useless shite that my imagination could conjure. I really didn't have much else to work on. The Guild was the only way of life I'd ever known. I wasn't going to let it go down without a fight. But everyone else that was around me knew of me and my bullshit. It got harder every day to convince people. One day I would lose hope.

Then comes in this lass with barely a septim to her name stumbling through the front gates with a thin, dirty, bony face that'd seen it all. Her light brown hair tied into a messy pony tail and bags underneath her glassy light blue eyes. I'd never seen her before. An outsider. Which was just what we needed.

She wore little else than the torn yellow dress and a pitiful pair of boots. She was awfully small. Small people could get into tight spaces with ease. But it looked like she'd been to Oblivion and back. She also had worn a permanent scowl as if the world had pissed her off. What ever compelled me to give her a chance to earn her place. Her back story didn't matter. I weighed the pros and cons even before I even talked to her. What ever could help the Guild with what resources I could find and this just pops up right in front of me. Me who was just pretending to play shopkeeper and looking like a thousand septims.

I am a thief, aye. But I wasn't a monster. I'm not religious, coin was coin and Mercer wanted us to try every angle. His specific instruction was just see what I could do with a nobody. And that's what I exactly intended to do. Then again, if she didn't agree. It wasn't my place to force her. I wanted to at see, to try how events would unfold. She was just a stranger.

She came into the plaza while I was at my stand and I'd caught her eye. It'd been some kind of weird snap between us. Written in those sky colored globes, was an unopened book that I instinctively wanted to read. Newcomers to our rotten town always had stories to tell. You don't normally come to Riften for honest reasons. That died out years ago. You only came to Riften if you're already corrupt, you were a wannabe corrupted, or you were an orphan. No reason was honourable enough. Or if you were just desperate.

She'd come here for a reason unknown. She could have had hundreds of places to run off to but to consider Riften her choice was not for me to judge. But for me to understand. To this day, I still don't know why myself.

"Running a little light in the pockets, lass?"

The girl was a combination of being stubborn and just looking to just sit in a corner and heal. It wasn't uncommon. No one like's being seen as weak. She'd held herself, arms crossed and pretended everything was okay. She was just like the Guild.

Gods' forgive me for taking advantage of the young one. I wanted to imagine myself as doing her a favour. I didn't even know her yet.

She'd turned to me and was...silent. For a moment.

"That is none of your business."

Were the first words I'd heard. That had been her one and only attitude that she'd had since the day I met her. I liked her already. A spike was what the Guild needed. A fresh face and someone stubborn as itself. I wanted to see if she could do as she was told first.

"Aye lass, but money is my business."

She turned away and headed off elsewhere. I didn't see her for the rest of the day.

When I came back up the next day to sell my usual bogus elixirs I'd look around town for her. I went to the Bee and the Barb. I was greeted by the usual occupants. The Argonians didn't like me loitering but I was just looking out for the lass.

Call me crazy for trying but when someone comes in town beaten like as she was, it was a cause for concern, because you know no one else in town was not gonna give two septims about it. When I couldn't find her here, I'd asked Keerava, the Argonian woman running the joint, if she'd seen a girl wandering around like she'd jumped into a pit of wolves.

Kind Keerava just screeched and pointed me into the direction of the Temple of Mara. Of course.

I'd suspected as much. She was homeless. But wasn't disabled as far I'd seen and though she was injured, it could be helped with a potion or two. I went to the Temple to see if she'd gotten stuck there.

I looked inside and asked the Dunmer Priestess if she'd seen a girl. Lass didn't like me either and just outright said no. Fair enough. I wasn't going to argue.

I'd exited the temple, left wondering where else she'd gone. It was amusing how much trouble I'd been going through to find her. If it was anyone else they'd just given up. Simply because they'd didn't have time to follow a lost cause and that there'd also be a chance someone else would wander blindly through those gates. But then you'd have those types of people who'd either want to get up to mischief or the opposite like Mjoll and attempt to 'save' Riften and fail miserably. You have to either be incredibly clever and resourceful like Maven or just lucky in order to get some kind of recognition or respect. To me I wanted to see what I could do if just persisted enough because I'd been playing the same game for days and this was something new to work around.

To my own luck, I'd wandered around to the side, to see her leaning against the base of the Shrine of Talos, her arms wrapped around her legs, looking down at her feet.

She was capable of hiding. A bonus. I liked that.

She had been hiding in more ways than one. She may keep her mouth shut up about it as the way she held herself made it obvious.

We're not known for being an awfully cheery bunch of louts. We're just lowabouts that were falling on hard times and were trying to keep up the front of a quickly decaying group. I'd did my darnedest to keep things together.

I wasn't going to intimidate her. She'd run away again. I'd have to meet her on equal footing. So I sat down next to her. I didn't look at her. She'd run away from that too.

"I thought I already told you no." The lass said coldly.

The job I needed to do, I couldn't promise to be easy. She'd have one go at this. I could either save her or I couldn't. That's what it'd boil to. She'd walked into those gates like that. I like those who could survive. What I didn't like was those left forgotten and had the potential to heal. She could heal. I could tell. Her front was just the bandage to what plane Oblivion she'd just come from. The effect' been easy to see. But I personally believed the Guild would help her. If not, help us all.

All we had to do was break past that barrier. Then get sorted.

I'd explained to her about our organisation did and what it took to have guts. That if she could do this one job for me that we could give her food and shelter. And all she would have to do was be wise, smart and take orders. I ushered it to her in simple terms that sounded appealing.

She was taking it in slowly. I watched her contemplate my words. I wanted it be tempting on all accounts of turning what she was doing into a positive characteristic.

"You like to hide? I know. But, you could use that to your advantage."

"I don't want to hide." She said out bluntly.

"Could have fooled me." I joked.

She groaned and stood up and turned to look at the Talos statue, trying to ignore me but really, she was taking consideration for this and I took that as a good sign.

"You're not saying this out of pity are you?" She questioned with such the bored monotone in her voice.

Brutal honesty helps out too.

"You think this city is going to feed you that? You're wrong. You can't find pity. Nor can you sell, use it or even eat it. I'm giving you the choice lass, a choice for your freedom to claim what you want, when you want it. That you can make so much coin that you can afford to stand around and do nothing. No one cares about your past. Nor your future. You came to hide? No one else will bother to find you."

I had to be honest of course. It was a boon to tell the truth in all it's awful, atrocious glory. It wasn't perfect but it ran the way it should. It was just the breadth of daily life here.

"Good."

My stomach fell. Strangely. The girl continued to stare at the statue. She had the confidence definitely and the bite to support it. No one with such bite since Vex and Sapphire. The girl was actively trying to avoid people altogether but she'd taken herself to living in the safety of the walls of the city.

What I came to realise that she was hiding from what ever was outside these walls. That she feared being found. I stood up, not staring at her. Somehow I had to make that the run down Ratway was a lot more appealing than lying around in the dirt feeling sorry for yourself.

"If you do this, I can get you somewhere to stay. A place to call your own. Sure you'd have to do work once in a while but that work involves a bit of risk but your main goal is not to be seen. We'll never ask you to kill anyone. Just their hearts. Just kidding, but it's just taking people down a peg or two."

I'd sworn to have to seen the side of her mouth rise into a minor smile. This was a snag.

She had her disdain and her reluctant spirit to consider talking to people. It was a start.

"What do you want me to do?"

I'd been surprised that the plan went off without a hitch. When I made the distraction in the plaza with my bogus Falmer Elixir, acting through, that in the corner of my eye, I could see her sneaking about as I had told her and no one was the wiser. The guard was tipped off about Brand-Shei's apparent thievery, and they'd never even suspected her, then they went for that obnoxious dumner and with that, the job was done. I relayed that pleasure to her and reminded her if she wanted more where that came from that to traverse her way down to the Flagon via the Ratway. I'd warned her about the dangers that came from wandering the Flagon. She'd said she'd be fine.

I was inclined to believe her. I had doubts but truly she'd just proven that she could handle the dirty work without a problem.

That was an entertaining moment, giving birth to new developments. It brought change to the guild, what had been needed for years. The others were suspending their hopes in what could this little girl do for the Guild. Vekel knew the place was a mess as it was. He wasn't lying but I remained steadfast in my personal beliefs and retained a positive outlook.

Time passed by as I waited at the Flagon. The others taunted me and called me a fool for getting them riled up over nothing over the new blood. I'd sat at the Flagon, sipping my mead and waited.

My ears twitched when I heard a door squeak nearby. I smirked. This had to be her. Foot steps came closer and closer as Vekel continued with his brash negativity.

"Forget it Brynjolf, your people are a dying breed!"

I loved proving others wrong when footsteps became louder.

"Then what do you call that?"

She'd stood there staring at me and awaited for me to speak. I looked at the dagger, that she ever so tightly grasped in her hand and that was covered in blood. I didn't tell her that she needed to kill. But I was more pleased she dealt with more layabouts. And that I could see that she could defend herself when worst comes to worst and that she wasn't scared off by all the real danger. I'd decided to get to know her a bit better. Just placing myself on her level again.

"Apologies for not introducing myself earlier. I'm Brynjolf."

She'd blinked twice. No smile. Face still dead.

"Petra."

I nodded. It make have looked like she was out for more blood, but she'd had more sense in grabbing her tattered dress and wiping the blood off the dagger, sheathing it.

"What's next?" She asked me. Eager without the tone for it.

We'd had another discussion about another test. She wasn't complaining. I'd told her to take care of some deadbeats for me. This time she didn't say no. But I yet again had to remind her that she didn't need to kill. I'd made another quick glance at her dagger.

"No deaths."

Her face was stone cold and still and emotionless. I was worried she would have gone too far. I didn't know her at all still and I could have just made a terrible mistake that could have just cost the Guild the last of it's sponsorships...

But no...she'd erased all doubts when she came back later with bags of coin. No story, no chatter. All the money was there.

So not only now did we have a capable creature on our hands but a fiesty one as well. It'd taken her some time to get adjusted. Especially when I introduced her to Mercer. I'd escorted her through the secret entrance to the cistern, the inner sanctum of our rabble.

"Mercer this was the one I was talking about." I told him.

"This better be not another waste of the Guild's Resources Brynjolf."

What got me was that once the two had gotten to see each others face, was that her very presence altered the variables. I'd seen Mercer face a future of uncertainty and someone who made him question everything. She'd managed to creep him out with her back straight and her cold dead eyes spearing into him. Mercer's true wealth was confidence and the way he relayed that back to everyone. The lass's very existence made him shift uncomfortably. I'd knew he'd smack down the law to her like he had to everyone else. But it's as if there was a sudden shift in the wind.

But even after all his ranting, which was just the necessary part of the package I had to remind the man.

"Oh since Brynjolf reckons you'll be nothing but a benefit to us, welcome to the Thieves Guild."

It took some coercion when Mercer suggested that Petra should do the Goldenglow Job to let the girl take some time to get ready. He didn't take it lightly. I'd gotten him what he wanted.

While the lass had the knack for taking care of people without their demise and the proprietary for trickery, she'd need to be properly trained to seriously inflict damage out there. I'd shown her that she can practice as much as she'd likes and that as soon as she was ready, she could take on her first set of series of jobs.

She'd gone to Tonilia straight away to get her some gear. No snark, no talk. Her way with words were strictly business only. She reminded me of Maven. But the air of mystery surrounded her, that perplexed Tonilia.

"What made you think she was the one Bryn?" The Redguard queried. No doubt that was also the question on everyone else's minds.

I crossed my arms and smiled.

"She'll listen. And she's willing to learn to have what it takes to be a real thief." I said with pride. I was going to make sure this was worthwhile

And she looked great in her armour. Her hair looked a lot better, more neatly tied up. Her face was cleaner to see that crisp pale face of hers. It'd take her some better food to eat to get rid of the bonyness but she just appeared a lot better and to my own opinion, more suited to the armour than anyone else. It shot out her intimidating appeal greater than expected.

The girl should have been far from capable to the naked eye. But I observe and judge by the way they are. As people and as the individual. Petra was a tough nut to crack that was for sure. It was a challenge I was willing to accept. Because the hardest ones usually turn out to be the best investments.

Most would have seen her having difficulty with the simplest task because she was just skin and bone when I'd found her. She came out well and I was impressed with her tenacity, her skill and willingness to do the dirty work and listen well. When she wanted to.

Delvin came to like her. He'd offered her a job to what ever dreaded corner of Skyrim, with absolutely no complaints. Delvin pointed out she had backbone to which I agreed to.

While the Guild had been falling apart, I was more interested in seeing the developments, that she was assisting with, were gonna take us. And the luck of Petra put more interest back into the Guild if anything else. The other's failed to see it, but me...as well as Delvin, Vex, even Tonilia came to see that she was in fact bringing in a lot more coin that they'd seen within the last few years.

Yet while she was the avatar of the guild, skilled and a near master of thievery with every coming day, she never talked about anything other than business. The others played practical jokes on her without knowing the hidden respect the best of us had for her.

It was tradition. All new bloods copped it within their first week. At first it made sense since we had more people leaving than joining and it was hard to take fun when you're falling so hard down the scales and you and your people are just broke. It'd been more harsh than what it seemed. If anyone one wanted to make this place more appealing they'd at first would have to know where to draw the damn line.

Petra took it in her stride. By Shor she was tough. Mostly jokes about leaving stuff for her to trip over or putting a fish in her bed. She covered herself so well that I couldn't see if she was getting angrier over time or...

It's just a phase. It always was. Merriment is hard to come by, especially during these dark times.

I forgot to mention also that more than once I've walked by her more than once while she was sleeping. Her bed was conveniently one of the closest to the door to the Flagon so each time she was just in the corner of my eye as I walked around the cistern. She eventually had a board put up a the end of it for a bit of privacy but other than that, she was in an area by herself.

Each time was different. She'd face inwards, away, often curled into a little tiny ball and arms wrapped around her legs like the day I recruited her. I feel like a weird stalker when I say that was her common way of sleeping and the position she was in a lot of the time. But there were times where I could hear her crying.

Dreams are often funny things. They drip on in unwarranted. My dreams are pretty average by far. Like the lass, I take a lot into my stride but at least I'm not hiding anything. I can be business but I can also just sit back and relax when I can. Be the fun lad. No problem.

And that was also the issue of everyone else here. And she picked up the slack where everyone else just either gave up, or were too drunk to take any proper work. Don't get me wrong, some of these people I have worked with in the past and they are talented in their fields, picked from all trees of life. She'd just did more jobs.

No one asked questions, instead people just told their answers and stories over a tankard and often forgot about them the next day. The average night spent in the flagon consisted of the usual larking and boasts...Vex and Delvin talking about failed jobs, Vekel and Tonilia and their lover quarrels.

Petra didn't spruce up the place. No, she's definitely not the partying sort. But it made for a change of conversation.

If she wasn't sitting on her bed reading her book, she often sat in her lonesome in the corner of the Flagon...drinking or just reading there as well. No one dared to bother her once she'd found her little cradle in the guild. The conversations became mere murmurs out of fear since she was in earshot of their little talks. All because of the nerve Vipir struck, forcing her to snap out at him.

That shocked everyone. The little quiet girl decided enough was enough. I'd watched the whole thing unfold. I'm not one to say if the lad deserved it or not, but this was where the line was definitely drawn to her. It'd gone over the limit of teasing the new bloods and she'd lasted longer than expected. Vipir just crossed the threshold. It was then I told him to stop.

That's what struck the hidden but shameful fear of the lass. She became, annoyed by me which I couldn't understand. I'd just helped her out. I believe now that she was in fact insulted that a superior had ordered someone to stop for her, instead of facing her fellow member on equal grounds and eager to prove herself and not to be a push over.

I'd ruined it for her, ruined her plan to make sure no one messed with her. Instead, I became her guardian and the notch for father like taunts. It hadn't been my intention at all. My only intention was to teach and guide the lass to revel in her talents and put them to good use.

Still, despite that, I think she'd still managed to prove her point. That perhaps at this stage she'd become developed enough to perhaps take on Goldenglow after all.

Then it came to a head after she'd came back to Riften from her job in Markarth. I was, by sheer coincidence, just at the Riften stables, conversing with a client, when I'd seen her horse, Cody, arrive back by itself.

I actually think the others were quite jealous that Petra even managed to make enough coin to afford a horse. She never spent too much on drink at the Flagon, so she had common sense to save her money on something that didn't back chat her.

She adored that horse. I put the thought in her mind that normally horses are good companions. I was glad she took the suggestion to heart and had asked Tonilia if she'd bartered in them. That was a good laugh, according to what the Redguard told me. Lucky Tonilia had a respectable heart to the lass (since they got along the best in my opinion. Even if Petra never talked to many people, I could tell Tonilia was her favourite by far out of anyone. And I already knew of her thoughts on me)

So the lass bought her ride and that was that. Took it everywhere. I'd imagine she'd managed to spill secrets to it. I mean, a horse can't tell tales now can it? Funny if it did.

Some days I'd find her leaving the cistern to go to the surface, most likely to either hang with Cody or go for a ride with it. I witnessed it one day, and managed to actually catch another smile from her. Cody made her happy, gave me a warm feeling that she was going to be okay after all.

Tonilia often told me in the small chats she had with Petra was that she talked about Cody a lot. So now the only way of making her speak now included horses. Tonilia was the first to break the first barrier to the young girl, wanting to force her to open herself. How that the horse was smart as a whip, she'd confided in it and how it was exceedingly loyal.

By this time my skills to appeal to the girls heart had increased. In fact, Vex, Delvin, Tonilia and me had once discussed this. Petra made for perfect talk and business in our little circle because it was all we had to talk about. Because our business was beginning to boom again and that we'd...we'd have to thank her for it.

When that horse came back on it's own, I could speak for the us all that we were all afraid of losing her.

And we'd never said thanks.


	11. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf runs through his perception on recent events.

 

That day changed her. Changed all of us, more than we'd like to admit.

Where had she been? What she had done? Who had done this to her? The lass was always the topic of the cistern. Mercer couldn't care less, but that's just Mercer.

Petra often gave the impression that she didn't want to be seen as special. She wanted to be treated normally as her peers. She'd cast aside anything she had bottled inside of her and once she had been healed, retreated herself to the surface and spoke to no one, probably not even the horse since she believed that it had failed her.

Although maybe me stitching her up was plausibly not something I should have done myself. Mentally finding that out would make it seem she was completely dependent on me. I've had experience in stitching people up. Wasn't hard. We really didn't have anyone besides the face sculptor but even then...

Sheltering herself away which was just typical of the lass.

I'd gotten wind of a potential job in Windhelm that required two people. Fair enough. Vex suggested I take Petra of course to get her to spill. I could try but I refused to do anything to make things worse or force her to shut herself away completely. Shor knows that I could say anything to tick her off.

So we went to Windhelm in complete silence and by foot. I'd already seen her with her horse. I wanted to see her forced to stick with someone she detested and how she could handle. Oh aye, I knew she hated me. But she knew how to follow orders which was the only thing that mattered to the guild..and to me. The factor that she may not like her horse any more was one matter but I then had my doubts about the possibility. I was taking all theories and placing them aside for this one job that I'll know she'll excel in.

Job went fine. I did what I had to do and that was that. I'd caught a glimpse of Petra acting out the part of a seductress which was particularly amusing. That woman could act better than I could. Being beautiful was part of the charm and brought loads of luck for a thief, to lull away and distract others from suspecting anything. By Shor did she ever. I knew it wasn't her but she was doing well. I could see why she was often successful. She had the ability to put the 'spell' on people and bring them in just as much as she'd like to push them away. The irony was not lost on me.

We'd been to Candlehearth Hall to relax for the moment. I watched as she briefly fell into a trance as she glimpsed at the fire before us. The look in her eyes...she was seeing something in those flames that lured in her in, focused into what trail of thought had roped her in. I was losing her as I could see her eyes darting from to side, a sign of being lost and scared.

I called her out of her little daydream just as she started to shake. She snapped back and then snapped at me.

She still can find herself focused, but often too focused.

We began to hike to Riften and went via Shor's Stone to speak with the client. That when very well, we then continued our walk through the pathways of the Rift and it's amber-leaved trees, until the Dragon came by...

The incident...I could never bury it away. It made sense. It brought volumes of information. Her distinct and unforgettable break down. The display broke my heart. The poor lass was absolutely terrified.

At first I thought that any one could fear a dragon. Things were just coming back and no one knew how to deal with them. Only upon the rumours of a Dragonborn being found could we have any due hope of being saved.

For someone so quiet, her cries were chilling to the bone and had pierced through my ears. I tried to defend her, even knowing I had no chance with the beast. I'd dragged her behind this rock. I fired numerous arrows at it, but it had no avail. I was going to bring out my dagger until...

She'd just suddenly got up, stole my dagger and absolutely decimated the creature. I observed in awe as she shouted at it, a strange mystical power forcing the creature back as she leaped at it and with a murderous vengeance, struck it's skull dozens of times, until it was dead.

I was still in shock, but kudos to the girls brief moment of bravery. But something was happening...

She'd began crawling back towards me when the dragon caught fire and burnt down to a hollowed bones. But there was a strange magic that strung it's way towards Petra, as she'd taken it's very soul.

It was then, I realised who the lass was.

The Dragonborn...

Thank the Gods


	12. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf tries to calm Petra down and suss out her motives.

I took her into my arms. Even with her being all hysterical, the lass still struggled against me. She was thrashing about, but I just wanted her to calm down and with out words, tried to comfort, to let her know that the beast was gone and dead and it wasn't going to hurt her, or anyone, any more.

I'd wager I'd hurt her pride doing so. My probable suicidal attempt to destroy the beast drove her to make sure that she'd be the one to do it. She knew her destiny and wasn't going to let anyone else get lost in it.

But I've finally found her. Found Petra and her secret.

I've heard of the stories of the Dragonborn and their power to permanently kill dragons. Petra knew and I had a feeling she was purposefully trying to avoid her obligation. I couldn't understand her position but I could feel her fear. To be caught in something that was never her choice and to put placed in this position could have never been her intention.

All the focus made sense. She was trying to lose herself in the work. And her eagerness signalled to price of taking one's real responsibility. While being a talented thief, the Gods had not placed her here for that reason. She was here because she was destined to. To save us all. But first, I had to save her from herself.

I held her in my lap. Her tensed self ceased over given time as we sat there against the rock, in each other's warmth. It wasn't a negative experience but it was incredibly awkward for both of us, I'd gathered. She lacked the strength to carry herself so I was willing to carry her if necessary.

Her head was against my chest, then I'd let her listen to my heartbeat. I was calm so I'd wanted to let her know (in a strange way) that it was going to be fine and that the both of us were alive. I could hear her breath slowing down from her whimpers earlier. We could be here as long as she needed to be.

She placed her hand on my chest and stroked it, then grabbed one of the straps on my armour and pushed me down by surprise. She pressed her hands against me while I lay on the ground and drilled her eyes into me. I didn't fight back. I only wanted to see what she wanted to do as she leaned over me, with her knees on each side of my legs.

I believed she had the purpose in her mind of punching me in the face. Her hands scrunched up however, as she bit her lip to try and stop herself from crying as her eyes began to water again; Her cheeks were already red prior.

She still was being being incredibly stubborn. Her actions wanted to say that she hated me but she was just so emotionally drained that she just collapsed on top of me. I instead looked at the sky, with the sun setting in the west, shadowing the Throat of the World in it's wake.

Petra was looking at it too. It reminded me of the time something shouted so loud that it reverberated all around Skyrim., sending shock waves across the province.

The Greybeards must have called her.

I placed one arm on her back for simple reassurance. She didn't fight back.

"How...how could they want me to deal with this?" She croaked. Her arms laid limp on both sides of us, as she rested her head on my chest again; with the voice in her throat vibrating against it.

"There must be a reason lass." I told her.

I wanted to find the words to explain that what she had just did was incredible in itself. That her powerful reluctance was going to hold her back. Again, I couldn't force her to do what she didn't want to. It was up to her to make the right choice. I was only there to help.

I listened to her take a deep breath. Good. Keep doing that. Relax.

Somehow I felt her bleed. Not in a physical sense, but in the emotional sense. I could say spiritual but I have no idea how that works. That what ever she'd held back before was suddenly spreading everywhere. A release. Okay that sounded more disgusting than it should have. I'm not entirely sure what the best description for it was but whether or not she was beginning to open herself is probably part of it.

"Bryn?" She whispered.

"Mmm?" I replied brazenly and tiredly. I just let her talk it out for now then to see how we go. And for some reason I must have not realised I'd been subconsciously rubbing her back. Comfort nonsense I picked up. I'm not normally the type to do that but I'll make an exception. I'd been making that exception for a while now.

"Can I do the Goldenglow Job now?"

What, no thanks? Just kidding. But I know she wasn't joking about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you SoulStealer1987 for all your comments! Well a lot is going to happen...and its going to be...weird.


	13. Goldenglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eager to get back into the swing of it, Petra does the Goldenglow Job and uses an unorthodox tool she'd never had to chance to use yet.

 

I felt ashamed to have let Brynjolf know my secret. But he never judged me for it. He claimed there was a reason, but didn't say anything of his own opinion. He had been listening to me, but I could tell he was just trying tip toe around the issue into eventually getting me to talk. One day, but I still didn't know.

We'd gone back to Riften in silence, each other knowing what had just unfolded. He spoke with the others, talked about the mission and that was it. No talking of dragons or my completely embarrassing display of my phobia. The worst part is that it naturally comes and I can't help it. But surprisingly he just didn't make note or even hint at it. I was trying to consider what man Brynjolf was.

But after that I was more willing to go on a more dangerous job like Goldenglow to get things off my mind and to get back into the zone where I belonged. Where I truly belonged. Killing a dragon, while hectic and sickening, got me into the throes of great motivation and I was glad. I spoke with Bryn about the job. I was glad he wasn't bringing anything up about what happened and was just speaking business. I became relaxed. Even if I didn't show it. The sooner this had got sorted, the better. Since it just got everything else off my mind.

I'd prepped myself for the job as it I knew for sure it was going to be harder than any of the other jobs I'd taken so far. I'd enjoy the challenge like it was just another test. I was going to press my success so far in front in Mercer's face that it was gonna stain. Got my gear proper, potions and the like, to ensure I'd actually survive any encounters. I can fight no doubt, but it never hurts to be prepared. There had been this image in my mind that this was the beginning of something new and a new outlook on my thieving career. I'd might not spend the bulk of my time in the dreary cistern any more and instead I'd have my hands placed in greater circles.

Vex had some advice for me as well. Told me about a sewer entrance. Easy enough. Unguarded too which was of a great benefit. You'd think with the Ratway being a sewer in itself that you'd guard something that was practically on home ground. People were so stupid. She'd had trouble previously with the mercenaries. There'd been too many for her to handle alone. Fair enough. I'd have to thank Vex for giving my mind an edge to curve around the prospective people who were going to out of blood. Any blood. My blood.

The Goldenglow Job required me to get some documentations and burn three hives in retaliation for closing off the bee farm and therefore, pissing Maven Black-Briar off. The wood elf in charge, Aringoth, was definitely going to get the full brunt of it. He'd embattled himself well too with a bunch of mercenaries Vex mentioned to guard it. Smart move, to anticipate the inevitable backlash from one of the most powerful women in Skyrim.

I'd left the Flagon with confidence, with Brynjolf saying just one thing.

"All eyes are on you lass, don't disappoint us."

As if I would. He should have known me better by now. It was a warning that putting me on this job alone was making me the well-known representative of the Guild and to make a show for it...obviously with stealthy skills, but I was going to be fine.

The estate was settled on a cluster of islands, isolated from the rest of the world, even if it wasn't that far from Riften. It was dark with the torchbugs flying about in their glow.

I wasn't a fan of getting wet but I've had worse happen. I got to the sewer, and jumped inside. It was rather small and lengthy with several skeevers which I took care of quickly with my trusty bow. I forgot to mention my bow had been upgraded to a Dwemer Bow. I'd found one at the Prawny Prawn. The merchant there was still tense over our uh...past confrontation. I'd assured him that was just for business purposes and made it very clear I was just here to shop. I was going to make him money for Talos sake!

Beyond that, I was always fascinated in the assorted types of bow and the attributes that they gave. Perfect for stealth. My favourite was the paralysis enchantment but sadly this only had the ice like effect. Still slowed enemies down but I took what I could get.

I'd reappeared outside and in front of the Manor. I looked around. No guards so far which was good, so then I'd headed on inside and snuck around like a ghost...unseen and unheard.

I encountered little, though the manor was completely and deathly silent. Eerie. Even if there were mercs inside and though I loved the quiet, it was just strange. Perhaps they'd been expecting anyone to come in at any moment. The whole situation had an odd, a not quite right scent to it. I'd gone upstairs and found Aringoths bedroom. There were a few things of interest here. A bee statue, a bee in a jar...Aringoth. He looked more like an Altmer than a Bosmer. But he just looked old and tired, stuck in a game he never wanted to be a part of so it seemed. I hadn't been in the Guild enough to know the entire story, all I could know was he was part of an operation between himself and Maven. What could have possibly pushed him this far to consider blocking her out. He must have known what the consequences were going to be. Or he wouldn't have had mercs everywhere.

He was stuck on the side of a shelf, sitting down with his head down. I was certain he knew I was here but I remained vigilant as I pick pocketed his keys, took the Queen bee statue and the bee in the jar (I was certain they'd had some value. The Queen Bee Statue I mean) and hurried my way downwards into the basement.

I'd run into an obstacle. While in the darkened crevices of this empty premise I saw a merc sitting down, in my way to where I had to be. And in full light too. I was good at stealth yes, but you'd be stupid to crawl past someone in plain sight. I had to distract him somehow.

I pulled out my bow and aimed for the wall nearby, hoping to make enough noise for the man to investigate It made a minor clank noise and that was enough. Supposedly, I'd made a quick, quiet run for it and no one was the wiser.

I managed to make it to the safe in one place, picked the lock open and made off with the documents. Now that was done, I was on to the next step. I made my way out of the building and found myself into the more open area of the island.

It was still dark which was my perfect shroud. I'd wormed my way around the mercs, trying not to alert them as I scurried along. I'd rushed past the footbridge to get to the apiaries, and found myself out of luck...I had nothing to burn the hives with. Although, I'd also found myself in luck in terms of, well, just realising something had happened.

Let's start with reminding you that I'm also on a mission for Vex to find the Stones of Barenziah. I'd found one in Yngvild whilst I was doing a little job for Vekel. I became fascinated it and wondered what it was for. Vex pointed out what it was and told me there were 24 in all. But she wouldn't take just the one. She wanted the whole set!

That was going to be challenge I was more than willing to take on by this stage. I'd do my research into places where the stones could possibly be. I had already found a few, one in Whiterun and another at Pinewatch Sanctuary in Falkreath. I knew they'd just be scattered in Skyrim for what ever convenient reason.

Anyway, I'd tracked one down in a place called Sunderstone Gorge. Tricky little place that was filled with idiotic warlocks but I pulled through okay. Traps and stuff everywhere but I was clever enough to see through what ever was thrown at me and what ever attacked me, I just simply put down.

At the end I'd battled off a Flame Atronach, a creature of nightmares that embedded fear into my heart. I wasn't going to be defeated by this slick demon of fire. I'd made work of it carefully, even if everything just went aflame. I was fine of course, never mentioned the incident to anyone but you my friend so congratulations on being the first to hear it!

I'm not done, but despite the fears of the flame, I went up the stairs and found a pile of dead bodies on a table, in front of an unusual wall, like the one I had found at Bleak Falls Barrow. I'd only realised and connected the dots that it had been part of my journey as Dragonborn. The voices chanted to me and became louder as they got closer. I blinked as I felt energies enter me. I wanted to cower but I'd been reaped into this, word on this wall and knew a word of power. I couldn't understand the word itself, something along the lines of  _Yol_  or what ever it meant.

So I wasn't sure of the word itself nor could I use it. It wasn't total loss I suppose. I'd left without too much of a worry and went about my usual business.

Back to Goldenglow, I stared at the beehives, suddenly knowing the meaning of  _Yol_. I didn't know if it was a prompt to suddenly understand  _Yol_  out of the blue. Bizarre as it was, but in my psyche it came to be understood as the dragon word for fire.

Irony was drowning me. The very word that the dragons used against me, the very thing I feared the most was in my grasp and I could use this as a weapon. A part of me wanted to believe that I could do this after all but I was compelled by my phobia not to use it. I honestly wanted to get over that if this Dragonborn nonsense was true. A destiny unwanted for sure.

I summoned what courage I could and hoped to Talos I was doing the right thing.

"Yol!"

I made sure the shout encompassed three of the hives. Or else I would have had my ass kicked if I burnt the bunch of them.

But it was incredible. I created flames with my own voice. Perhaps this was what the Gods were trying to tell me.

But how could I get over my phobia?

I'd left the estate and quickened my pace back to the Guild with news of my success. Plus I wanted to let Brynjolf know what I did. I know after the last dragon that I could...trust him with what was going on. He knew more than anyone else did, though you know more than him, friend. Bryn didn't have the answers and while I love Cody, I couldn't bare face him with all my previous failures. I would make it up to my horse one day as silly as it sounded. But still...

For once I thanked the Gods for this gift.


	14. Investigate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the success of Goldenglow, Petra and Brynjolf talk about the reasons for her being Dragonborn.

 

I faced Brynjolf with the news. We spoke casually about what transpired, but in front of the cistern I couldn't tell him the whole story. He was genuinely impressed which was a bonus. He must have known there was more to it than what description of the events I gave to him. That was fine. I would have wanted to speak to him about it more in private if I had to.

But then he mentioned after we discussed the situation further, that Maven Black-Briar wanted to speak with me. My stomach twisted. Don't tell me I screwed something up.

But Brynjolf being Brynjolf, he assured me that I wasn't in trouble. He wasn't sure what it was about, all that it was to do with being a potential job and that any job for her often involved a lot of coin, provided you didn't screw her about or screw up in general.

I'd learned that Maven, while being one of the richest bitches this side of Tamriel and one of the greatest schemers, took care of her own. If you were useful to her then she'd reward you greatly. If you dared to cross her or mess things up severely, expect to have your ass handed to you. It was more like the deal with a Daedric Prince but worse.

I realised I wouldn't have time to speak with Bryn about what really happened. So I'd went to the Bee and Barb to speak with the Black-Briar's infamous Matriarch.

I'd met the woman, sitting upstairs by herself. She held the air of superiority around her and she knew it. I watched my steps and was careful about what I said to her. But then again, if she was all about business...

And she actually, for a lesser word, appreciated I had more business sense than most of the members or whom ever else she'd spoken to previously. She mocked being worried that we were 'running some sort of beggars guild'. She'd been aware of the problems the guild had been facing. But whether or not she was showing it, she had been impressed with my work with Goldenglow where all others had failed and decided to speak to me directly, obviously to get use out of my handywork to get the job done and get it done correctly. She only cared for cause and effect.

Fair enough. I wasn't going to argue. She spoke about my next goal into going to Honningbrew Meadery in Whiterun and gave me the details. Sounded more fun than Goldenglow and a bit more mischeivious than one would perceive initially. I took the job up proudly. She warned me about screwing up which I told her with confidence that I wasn't going to.

I took time to go back to the Guild and to arrange my trip back to Whiterun. I was eager to start, but at this stage I had to ensure that I was up to the task. It was still dark and I would want to at least get to Whiterun by early afternoon. I'd given Delvin the Queen Bee Statue which he bought at a fair price which involved quite a nice amount of gold...and I placed the Bee in a Jar on the drawers next to my bed.

But before I could do so, I was interrupted by Brynjolf. He'd surprisingly made time for me to talk to him. I wanted to get to Whiterun as soon as I could but he wanted to make sure that I was still okay. Kind of him, really, but...

We went into the training room which was empty, but we had some private space to talk about what really happened at Goldenglow. I took my seat in the corner of the room to where he sat down next to me and waited for me to spill.

"So...anything you want to tell me?" He asked. I wasn't staring at him, I honestly couldn't look at him directly in the eye so...but he had his head leaned in, as I could see at the corner of my eye.

I took a deep breath. These small conversations weren't the worst thing, but Bryn would have insisted otherwise, taking me under his wing but mostly indulging in a type of...something that would probably never ever happen. Again. I don't know. It was all too awkward and perplexing to figure out the whole meaning of it. To what this was between us. I'll leave it to time to decide.

"The story I told you was an honest one. Except the part with the beehives." I told him.

He nodded.

"The beehives eh? I'd wouldn't have expected you to have much issue."

Of course. How hard could it be to incinerate the little honey makers?

I grinned.

"Well since that perhaps I actually needed something to burn with. Holding a torch while sprinting and rolling around in the darkness would have alerted everyone to my position, so that was out of the question."

He nodded. Some days you just need to be impressed by common sense. Just because you might have a part that would work, it didn't mean that it was going to complete the picture.

"So what did you end up using?" He queried.

This was the hard part to explain in simple terms. But I did the best I could.

"I...shouted at them." I answered. It sounded so stupid as I watched Bryn's eyebrows dive upwards

"Shout? Like...the dragons shout?" He iterated. He wasn't as boneheaded as I thought.

I nodded.

"I know, I know...it's."

I had my hands wrapped around my legs yet again and I tapped my elbow with my finger repeatedly and quickly as it became stressful to talk about.

"The Dragons shout fire. I'd used the shout to summon fire to life." I explained. I was a mere mortal trying to explain to explain dragon magic, the power of time-stream flyers.

"I came to understand the word as I'd forgotten to look for a way to set the hives alight in my rush to get the job done."

"What does that tell you?" He asked me. I was expecting a reaction to my short-sightedness but he remained inquisitive. Though I wasn't sure how to respond. I had several answers in my head but whether or not any of them were correct, was a different story altogether.

"I'm definitely Dragonborn?" I replied weakly.

Bryn smiled. He took it as a joke answer and knew I was reluctant to believe.

"Do you know what you're going to do about it?"

I'd thought about it deeply. As my previous excursions had molded me into a professional thief, but not exactly a hero. I will still do as I'm told as what the Guild desired of me. But the call of the Greybeards. They wanted my presence. Whether or not I deserved to even see them was decided on the factor that if I decided to go down that very path.

"I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm content with being with the Guild. It's not everyones version of a perfect life but I do the job and I know I do it well. Would you say the same if you were in my position?"

I'd seen Bryn look down between his own legs, suggesting that he wasn't expecting me to ask that question. Interesting. He'd never thought about it. I shouldn't have expected to him to. It wasn't his burden to speak of.

"If I had those abilities I'd see what I could do with them for what ever was in store for me. I would have no idea. It's not every day you see someone with your abilities lass."

True. Shouting isn't exactly a common power. Though my power was to learn them instantly without much training. Normally shouting would require dedicated study and years and years of concentration.

"But what if you're in my position?" I asked yet again. As in, the same fear, the same issues concurrent with all the other crap that was going on in my life. I could tell Bryn was yet again in deep thought as he looked away to think, his lips twitching and eyes dragging themselves to the roof.

"I still have no idea lass. Though my own say on it is that the Gods gave you and you alone this gift and you were born with it because you would know what to do with it when the time came. The Gods would not give this gift so lightly to just about anybody."

I lifted my head up. He actually had a good point about that. No one would know what to do with what was handed to them. I was born with this. It's not just something to take lightly. It required serious consideration.

"They gave it you. No one else would even begin to delve into situation like you have. They'd give it anyone else and any bet is that they'll squander it like it was just something to be abused."

It appeared Brynjolf was probably in a similar dilemma at some point or another. Not with being Dragonborn but perhaps a guild related concept. That it was built that no one everyone was suited to being a thief and was simply not their way to live. I dunno, I'm just guessing.

"So you're saying that I have this because...the Gods knew what I would do eventually. They could see the path I'd take. Heh, I wouldn't have given it to me if I'd know if I'd be so afraid of dragons themselves." I joked.

Bryn gave another smile. Annoying at first, but I began to feel better when ever he did.

"They may not see it that way. They could probably see that one day you'll make the right choice and whether or not you get the strength to carry on with it." He spoke with apparent wisdom.

I fiddled with my fingers and looked at my feet.

"Even if I never get over my phobia?" I questioned, feeling a bit vulnerable. It would be the lingering topic to spark in my brain for a long time to come. I'd ask myself the same question each time before I would ever encounter (hopefully not) a dragon again.

Bryn shuffled himself over and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. If it'd been anyone else, I would dragged myself away and at worst, punched them in the face. But I felt comfortable with him more than I'd ever been. Sneaky bastard managed to get to me. Got passed my high guard and into my circle of trust. And that was incredibly difficult to get into, believe me.

The look he gave me was just...I don't know. Helpful maybe? I'd come to rely on him heavily for the more intimate approaches to what ever issues I'd had. I'd hated to admit that they worked. That I had someone besides Tonilia to come close to. Even more so than my own family.

Even if he did not have all the answers, it'd gave me thought and the drive to find alternate means to get the information I needed to guide myself to what choices I had.

Not to mention it felt a bit nice to indulge in small talk, a luxury I couldn't afford elsewhere to anyone. But Talos forbid anyone else finding out about it, lest I become the laughing stock of the Guild. Though when I look at it, Bryn was also risking himself by getting close to me. Thousands of things could go wrong. I was a figure of importance to Skyrim, a behest of the myths common amongst the nord populace. A gleaming rare gemstone in the middle of a bunch of boring rocks and stones. He'd nudged through the crowd and became the figurative shield to prevent the worst from happening. I'm terrible at metaphors aren't I? Yeah. I'm trying to discover and ultimately find out what it was that I was here for.

"I think the point of it is, it wouldn't matter if you'd gotten completely over it by the time comes, but to overcome and acknowledge the fear is the first step to your own destiny" Brynjolf stated. I had a hint he was confused, but at least he was trying to understand what was going on.

"For example, a lot of people who've had plenty of experience in battle and would wander blindly and arrogantly to take the dragon down without taking the proper precautions necessary." He explained.

I was kind of getting what he was saying. I think.

"I see...so the average person would have encountered the common bandit or draugr if they're busy exploring...but to face a Dragon! Now to defeat one would require a different strategy!" I pointed out, making that realisation apparent.

Bryn nodded. I was relieved that this twister of nonsense was coming towards the eye of it.

"Exactly the point lass. You have to approach a dragon differently to what you face in everyday life. Or every other day. You have had a first hand experience to what a Dragon can do. And each time you fight one, the more you learn of their tactics and how to better defend yourself against them. You are frightened of them because you know what horrors they inflict. You have the ability and the knowledge on how to survive and even win against them."

I was better suited to battle a Dragon than everyone. Fantastic. Just great. I loved this...note that sarcasm there friend. The Gods made the most stupid decision of all time. Well done Akatosh. Well done.

"You'd think that they'd give to someone more noble?" I joked.

Bryn chuckled.

"They could have couldn't they? But they didn't. They chose you."

I looked away. Depressed. Brynjolf tightened his grip to make sure he wasn't gonna lose me. He then spoke to me in a whisper that drilled shivers down my spine and boiled a sickness in my stomach.

"Out of all the people born in the world, for reasons that only they could understand, they chose you. You and I may not ever fully understand why. We'll have our theories lass, we'll have dozens and hundreds of possible reasons and all of them could be wrong. In the end you might just have to accept that you may never find it. And all that you know, is that you, Petra, have this power inside of you and all you have to do is find a way to what it'll be used for."

I stared outwards, but I could feel his eyes, full of strength, hope and force, piercing into me, telling me I could believe. I wanted to, I really did. But as long as I always filled with uncertainty, I could never know.

It took some might for me to actually look straight back at him. He was awaiting for me to say something. Or not. Perhaps just looking for a type of response to what he'd said. Anything that would indicate an answer. Butterflies were making their home in my gut as soon as I got locked into his stare. His face was still, breath was light yet my heart was skipping beats. It was awfully mudded from then on.

He made a minor smile and patted my shoulder before standing up and reaching out his hand.

"While this is all find and dandy, and I probably was just talking out of my ass just then with philosophical crap. Unfortunately it's not all that productive when it's just talk and no action. I believe you have somewhere to be."

I grinned and grabbed his hand, as he snapped me back up to my feet. We shook hands, grasped them tight with determination. I nodded to him as I walked away, with work to behold.

I didn't need to say the words out aloud, but I'm pretty sure I thanked him with my smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf does talk out of his ass a lot, honestly.


	15. Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf explains a bit about himself while everyone else sees some interesting signs.

 

The lass left with a renewed authority in herself. I know it wouldn't be easy for her and while it pained me not to be there with her every step of the way, she had to take some of this on on her own. She didn't appear as a dragon had attacked her at all. I doubt there'd be a Dragon in the Rift for a long time.

I had no real destiny to fall upon. I was no chosen one or something of a legend in the great mythology of Nirn in general or even well versed in a lot of the history of Skyrim itself. I was just your professional thief doing the world a service it hated. There had to be a healthy balance of necessities this world needed. The light doesn't get touch everything and the darkness was always going to be inevitable and the constant clashes determined who lost and who won the battles. But neither could win the war.

I know when I first started it was difficult to attain at first, becoming the new blood and suffering from the trials that laid ahead. But I had total confidence that this was what I was supposed to do in life and unlike Petra I had certainty that this was where I was meant to be.

I made quick friends, allies and enemies in the long term and that's how it should have been. I survived this long to become reliable to whom ever was in charge. I held no desire to lead nor did I want to. My relationship with Mercer wasn't entirely perfect but we both knew where we stood in the Guild and that was that.

It was originally Mercer that recruited me initially and saw more potential for causing havoc. My own past wasn't entirely filled with glamorous pursuits or anything painfully dramatic. I was a rebel confided and bogged down with irrefutable laws and put up with it for a long time. Mercer had explained the Guild to me in terms that while it laws and rules unto itself, they were more lax with what could be and couldn't be done. I thought that was fair. I came to know Mercer out of a curious nature as he told me his own past deeds, that how he came to betrayed by one of our own and had spent decades trying to hunt the traitor down. I admired him out of his tenacity and back then I was a younger lad, feeling bright with Mercer as my mentor. I hadn't looked back since.

Even after we started to spiral downwards, Mercer entrusted me with most of the new recruits. I could understand the stress that was taking it's toll on him and that I was to make sure that we'd get things done right. I came around the same time Vex did and back then I laughed at the face Delvin made when he first laid eyes on her. It was love at first sight. But we became this tight knit group under Mercer's leadership and we were the best under his lead, even when the coin seemed to dry up, we trusted each other and often had drunken shenanigans at the Flagon after a long day.

When Petra arrived things shifted. For better or for worse was not clear at that point. She could have been any kind of recruit at the time, eager to make some coin. Every recruit usually is.

But then once the coin started to roll back in thanks to her, things seemed to looking up in the first time in a long while. I wanted to know why she was so different to everyone else in the Guild. Why was she succeeding where everyone else had failed. It'd been the first time I was entirely curious since I was interested in what made Mercer tick. While Mercer was incredibly stubborn himself and often refused to talk about anything other than business, I'd come to believe that Petra was awfully similar and pushed away anyone attempting to get close to her.

Now I've gotten through to her, unlike where I failed with Mercer. I know it's not entirely important, but you've gotta look at this an angle where, while some people are more than happy to tell you their life story, they weren't the greatest stories told and had dead ends or just ended up being too boring to care about. Not that you couldn't care for them of course, it's just that they never became too interesting enough to question anything else and it ended up being just some of a casual friendship the ceased through the seasons.

I don't know what fascinated me more...whether it was her story, or her capability as a person. Some people might point out that the more she pushed me away, the more I was drawn to her. That wasn't the case at all with Petra. I had a level of curiosity but I also have standards at where the line was. I could help if need be and if she chooses to ignore then so be it.

But she wasn't ignoring me entirely that was it though. She was acknowledging I was there and pushed me away as if not to draw me into her problems. That's how I took it as. She could have said nothing and made no attempt to make note of my existence but after I'd seen what had happened with the dragon I saw what she was trying to do.

She was hiding this entirely so no one else would be hurt.

She became frustrated and tired by the notion of someone else butting themselves in where the consequences could become quite high. If her destiny as Dragonborn stood for something, she must have the belief that a lot of people could die if they got too close.

She pushed people away as to prevent their own deaths.

I can defend myself not a problem. I have no fear when it comes to combat, comes with the stubbornness with being a Nord. But like the lass, I wouldn't want people to get hurt if I could prevent it. But I wouldn't hesitate if I had my back up against the wall or if someone was outright trying to kill me. It's simple self-defence really.

Just like when the Dragon was about to get to the both of us. A dragon is much more tenacious and tougher than any foe I'd ever faced. I had the logic to fight it with arrows but in the end I'd knew it'd prove futile. Which was why I was willing to sacrifice myself just to make sure that Petra survives. I was going to get her to run as far as she could until the she had reached Riften in time to alert the guards.

But when she took hold, I swore I was looking at another person. Not Petra, but a full blown warrior with the full intent to kill.

I'd watched as she stabbed the beast repeatedly that I'd forgotten the fact she took my own dagger for the ordeal due me being genuinely stunned for words. She'd taken care of the beast but with great personal cost.

She risked her life, but she also risked humiliation. She risked her pride and honor to make sure I wasn't caught up in this unknown campaign. While she was a mess, she never had to say anything to let me know that this was the very thing she was trying to hide from me. The fact that she was so damn ashamed of that she got herself sick over it.

Why she did it just for me and didn't leave me to die as one would think was something I'd have to think over and over and still couldn't wrack my own brain for answers. She risked a lot to save one life.

It made me even more curious as to clue into her unusual behaviour even more after when I found her that day in the bears den. A secret she so fiercely guarded and yet...

She recovered well enough after that incident better than I'd hoped...after I had shown the initiative and let her know that I cared what happened and the constant assurances that came with it, to let her know I wasn't going to criticise or at worst, abandon her. No. She needed someone to tell her that. And that talk before she left for Honningbrew proved that. Because she knew no one else could possibly understand what she was going through.

And while I could never understand fully and may never end up understanding absolutely everything, I'd connected with her on a level that we both knew that our perspectives of one another were going to change and that her feelings for me had developed into something unique, that of something not even her relationship with Tonilia could not reach.

And you know what? I was glad she'd started the process into beginning to trust me on this, to which has my intention from when I first picked up the fact that she had something more going on than anyone would have known. And now that I do know and that I had gained her trust, that she could confide everything to me. As was proven when we had that little talk.

The process of development I knew from the get go was going to be long. That's okay. It was obvious that this was going to take time and that my experience with getting to know Mercer helped out greatly, since I learned of my own failures since then and worked on them to figure out what I had to do. Was it what I truly wanted? I honestly, to tell the truth had been something that was beginning to bother me. I had been testing out my skills in sussing out the truth in the hope of certain discoveries would be made known to me. And not by book or by legend but by the single life of a girl who wandered in my life one day.

I'd been thinking that over while she was gone. I'd speaking with Vex and Delvin about it.

"So hows your girl going? She's gone to Honningbrew Meadery I hear." Vex spoke with a hint of teasing.

I nodded.

"Aye, Maven wanted her to go on some kind of job request there." I replied. You could usually do your best to hide secrets, but rumours tend to float around the cistern.

Delvin smirked. His rumours of curses and hex's were all over the place. Always something to do with magic.

"Ah yes. I've been hearing that Maven wants to take the place over and that for months now she'd been plotting a way to make sure it get's into her hands."

I leaned back into the chair and had Vekel get me some ale.

"I also think it's got something to do with what happened with Goldenglow Estate. They're connected somehow." I commented, judging what I found out from Petra.

"Wouldn't surprise me." Vex noted. She was always the type you could count on to know what would happen irregardless and still have the same kind of whippy response to it. The benefits of a being an Imperial.

"Scorning Maven is signing a death sentence. You'd be foolish to do it."

I had to agree with her there. No one crosses Maven unless they preferred to get to know the Dark Brotherhood personally.

"I'm tryin' to think who'd actually thought it was a great idea! They don't have their head twisted on straight." Delvin noted.

"Not anyone I know of. Or else I would have gutted them already. Maven'd never have to ask."

Vex stated. Vex was similar to Maven in that regard, but she'd go out and take revenge herself. I couldn't tell who was scarier.

"Not to worry. Petra is on the job. If anyone could figure it out it'd be her." I assured them.

Vex snickered before she sipped her tankard, mocking me for my faith in the lass.

"And what is your problem?"

She looked at me, pretending to be offended. These two could be insufferable when they wanted to be. Once a rumour started, it got around to be the pick of the crop.

"What? I have no problem. I'm just smiling as all." Vex claimed.

Delvin started to chuckle as well. I didn't understand what was so funny. I called bullshit to Vex's statement. But Delvin was getting on my nerves too. Shor's beard, why?

"Delvin...not you too..." I groaned. I had no idea what they were up to.

"What? No! No problem at all Bryn, just glad you uh...well..." He stammered.

I crossed my arms and glared at the pair. They wanted to say something but now they were being assholes about it. Snickering about what ever I didn't know and made me think they'd been thinking about it for a while.

"Guys..." I said, irritated.

Delvin looked at Vex as if to say, you tell em. Guy always sucked up to her. She adorned her cheeky grin before placing her tankard on the table and relaxed.

"Delvin and I had been talking about it for some time now and I think, or we think, you're getting a bit too personal with the girl...if you catch my meaning." Vex commented. I heard Delvin withholding a chuckle and snorted instead.

"That's nonsense. Petra and I are on a professional level. We have every right to speak to one another." I said in retaliation, but that might have sounded more forceful than it should have.

"Relax Bryn...we're not criticising you. Just makin' an observation that's all." Delvin noted, though I knew where the two were getting at.

I heaved a sighed and must have downed half of my drink when I saw Vex smile. A rarity, but still a bit on the scheming side.

"I actually think it's pretty good. Girl needs to wind down a bit, lower herself to a better level of fun. Get treasured and pampered for all the hard work she does." She said.

I looked at her with scorning, half lidded eyes. It was rare that Vex complimented other people. She usually spoke with Petra as to avoid her from going soft. Petra reacted all the same.

"I really don't know why you two are pushing me with this." I questioned. I wanted them to leave well enough alone with what had nothing to do with them.

"You stress about her a lot, even if you don't say anything bout it. It's normal." Delvin noted. He was trying to make it sound like it was okay. It was okay, but they were dangerously implying more was going on. While I do stress about her, it's because I care. Is that such a crime?

"You can admit it to us Bryn, we're not gonna tell anyone. What ever is said in the Flagon, stays in the Flagon... am I right Delv?"

The bald Breton man nodded and raised his tankard. He then looked to Vekel who raised his tankard, who then raised one to Tonilia. Was what I was doing that obvious to them?

"You know we fully support you Brynjolf." Tonilia called from a distance.

"Just like we support Petra." Vekel explained.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. The whole damn Flagon was in on it. Unbelievable!

"You guys don't know what you're saying." I claimed. This was just getting too...uncomfortable.

"Of course we do Bryn. I do the same thing to Vex everyday. Don't I love?" Delvin mentioned.

Vex just groaned and made every attempt not to smash him over the head. I scrunched my fist. The thoughts just preferred to linger and dig into my mind from then on. Blast it.

"We're not gonna chastise you for your choices in life. You could have been more of a hero otherwise." Vex joked.

This was nothing to do with choice. This was just being a decent human being. Well, for a thief to thief perspective. But they made it increasingly hard to get the idea out. I couldn't think like that.

"We can help ya! I have a few thoughts I could suggest you in terms of...um..you know..." Delvin commented. Just no Delvin. I'm not pressuring either you or Vex with your little quarrels.

Vex couldn't believe it.

"Delvin none of your tactics have worked on me, what makes you think that Brynjolf is gonna have any luck with anything you've done."

I could have laughed at that, but I was getting annoyed by them pressing the issue.

"Guys please. No. Enough." I called out on. I felt a temper coming on.

"Why don't we get Thrynn to do it...he's always been one for the ladies." Vex joked.

Delvin chuckled.

"Oh no. He'd have no chance. What about...Mercer?"

The whole Flagon started to hackle at the mere image. Me? I definitely had enough. I'd left the Flagon without saying anything. It seemed childish, but they were making comments on nothing they knew about and the discussion became unbearable as I stormed out.

I went back into the cistern when I heard them speaking behind me.

"Did we actually manage to damage Bryn's pride?" Vex muttered.

"I can't believe that myself. But let the poor man be. He'll sort himself out soon enough."

Thanks guys. Thanks for your support.


	16. Honningbrew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra takes the Honningbrew job, then returns to find Brynjolf acting strange.

 

I'd met up with Mallus, an imperial man, at the Bannered Mare in Whiterun. We explained our business about Meadery and how we were going get into the little plan of getting Maven to take it over.

I had to say the plan was quite well thought out and clever in terms of the time it took to plan and enact. All they needed was me to get in there and finish it off. I found it more amusing than anything I'd ever done. I'll get this done, no problem at all.

Once everything had been explained, I made my way to Meadery. Though once I left the Bannered Mare, I looked over at Dragonsreach. I couldn't bare to face the Jarl over what had happened and still never informed him of what had actually occurred at the Western Watchtower. I would have thought that his dunmer Housecarl Irileth, had talked over what happened there. I'd like to this that it would have confused him or if I'd known Irileth over the short time I was with her, she'd probably would have told him that I ran away in cowardice after we managed to kill the dragon.

Still, I couldn't drop my focus now. I had work to do and be damned if anyone was going to stop me now. Sovngarde forbid any dragon attack Riften directly. I would be even more screwed.

I met with Sabjorn in the meadery and bartered with him for a bit. He had something of a 'pest problem' and I had offered to deal with it. He wasn't going to pay to do it at first, but I persuaded him to at least give me half since 'that was the only way I worked'. He gave me the poison to help kill off the Skeevers. Oh this was going brilliantly thus far.

So I went on to find the source, only to find the planks Mallus mentioned to be taken off the hole in the wall, revealing the cave within. I went inside, fired my arrows at the Skeevers and what ever parasites were dwelling in the depths of this decrepit place. Went fine, until I found a mad man down here, almost taking me by surprise. I fired several arrows him before he went down. He was a spell caster in general, but his madness was the end of him.

I'd found the nest and poured some of the poison on it. I found another cave that I entered, eventually ending up in the brewery. Exactly where I wanted to be.

I poured the rest of the poison into one of the brewing vats. Despite the issue of the mad man, this was actually pretty easy. I then returned back to Sabjorn and let the whole matter unfold as the Captain of the Guard arrived.

After that matter had been taken care of, Mallus offered his services as fence if I ever had any thing illegal to sell. Helpful no doubt not just to myself but to any of my guild mates. I still had the matter of finding anything useful in Sabjorns office. I helped myself after Mallus prompted me to and found another set of documents related to the Goldenglow Issue. And a nice Decanter that might be worth much.

With that in mind, I set out to head back to Riften. After Goldenglow, I had the courage to ride Cody again and our bond was as strong as ever. I know reading all the commotion I had to do was pretty boring. In fact it wasn't as challenging as I'd hoped. But I was honoured enough to do the work and Maven needed to done to find out what was going on.

I'd contemplated more than once to head back to Dragonsreach after all this time, wondering if I should speak with the Jarl. I couldn't bare to face him with my fear. I told myself many times. Don't know why I'd head up there, perhaps to assure the Jarl I was still alive. But since I was with the Guild, I couldn't afford to associate myself with him.

So I headed back across the long road back to Riften, often looking up upon the Throat of the World and wondered if I should visit the Greybeards...just to find out what I was supposed to do. I'm sure what I was doing was fine and I was doing well, but perhaps maybe it was time that I recognised my true calling in life and dedicate myself to a life of discovery.

But for now I still had work to do. As long as the Guild needed me I would be at their beck and call no matter what. I didn't like to admit that they were the only people I knew and I'd become so used to the presence that a major change to my life appeared rather daunting. Mercer would lose his one perfect gal and I don't think he'd take no for an answer. He was welcome to try me. Haha. Nah. Guys just weird. Probably still pissed off. Man needs to relax.

I didn't want to disappoint Brynjolf either. I know it seems silly now that before I said I wouldn't have cared what anyone thought. I've learned now that he, speaking from his actions, did actually care for me.

No one should care for me but myself. I wouldn't want anyone harmed in what I was supposed to do and in the meanwhile learn and grow. I was well off now and I could generate enough coin to afford to explore. Go raid dungeons and so forth. It seemed so appealing. As long as I didn't have to land an eye on a dragon, I'd be fine. Mercer could give the order to go elsewhere and I would have gone on the just terms that I wouldn't have to encounter any dragons. I doubt he'd consider putting me, one of his most skilled thieves, in that much danger.

"Cody, what do you think I should do? Should I just...keep going at what I'm doing? Or should just find out what I'm truly capable of. This is so confusing."

I wasn't expecting him to reply of course. But it did help push my thoughts along. That the Dragons were maybe more important than giving the Guild back it's dignity. Anyone would admit that being thief wasn't exactly noble of course, but it was fun, challenging and kept me focused. But if I was Dragonborn, then I was truly meant for something more.

The only problems were my phobia and the fact that this would draw unnecessary attention to me and the Guild. I'd either have to cut ties or just...I don't know. I have no idea.

But I made it back to Riften in one piece, which was a bonus. Came back during the night and spoke with Maven, whom suggested I go back to Mercer with the information gathered. Though Maven was still peeved, she rewarded me well for my efforts. Brynjolf was right after all. She did take care of her own.

I returned to the cistern and had a word with Mercer, who made the connection between the notes from Goldenglow and Honningbrew, which suggested someone was being a major sneak and trying to break the Guild apart from within. I'd wondered if Mercer admired the person behind it, he claimed to have, but not to mistake his admiration for complacency Fair enough.

Though he also noted that there was a name mentioned on the note that was in fact an alias of someone he knew. A Gulum-Ei, an Argonian who works for the East Empire Company in Solitude.

I'd expected Mercer to get me to get him to spill the beans from the slimy lizard. And without a doubt, simply tasks me to do so.

It was fascinating how much Mercer and the Guild came to depend on me. I felt honoured but I didn't want to singled out. I'd get too notorious that way. But I'd gone this far and Mercer wouldn't want to place this in anyone else's hands.

Not knowing much about this Gulum-Ei character, I went to look for Brynjolf for any information. I went to the Ragged Flagon and looked around. He strangely wasn't there. I went back into the Cistern, back into the training room. He wasn't anywhere in sight.

I asked Vekel where he ran off to, the man simply said he went outside to get some fresh air. I found that suspicious. Brynjolf hardly left the cistern or the Flagon itself let alone go outside for 'fresh air'. Something had happened in here recently and I could smell it. The others refused to acknowledge my presence only backing up what Vekel had said. I rolled my eyes at their feeble attempts at lying to me. I went to the surface myself, and looked around Riften to find the man.

It was dark and it was quiet. The Plaza was empty and the only people roaming around were the town guards. I'd gone into the bee and barb and he wasn't there. I went to the Temple of Mara and he wasn't there. Gods know why I'd even find him there. But it was just one of a few places I was trying.

I'd completely missed the man who I could have sworn wasn't there a minute ago, sitting with his legs crossing looking at the Statue of Talos in the light of the torchbugs that floated around him.

I walked over and sat down next to him. I looked at him, becoming concerned as he just looked like he was staring into space.

"I've been looking for you." I told him.

I could hardly read his face. He'd been swamped down with something fierce. He didn't bother to even look at me, which was strange.

"Aye." He responded. So deadpan and lacking life. Unusual.

"Is everything okay?" I questioned. Something must have happened in the Cistern. Everyone else was being quiet about it.

"Everything's fine lass."

I knew Bryn well enough to know he was lying.

"Don't do that to me." I scolded.

"Don't do what?" He replied. He was deliberately avoiding the subject or at least, pretending that he was doing nothing wrong.

I shook my head. I looked up at the Statue of Talos and recalled Bryn saying he wasn't really the religious type. I'm tried wrapping my head around it.

"Nice night." I commented, attempting to get a casual conversation going.

"Aye."

"Honningbrew job went well if you wanted to know."

"Good to hear."

Even if he didn't want to listen to what I had to say, I told him what occurred and the funny things that happened during the time, like when Sabjorn got arrested by the Captain. I still found that amusing.

He didn't laugh or take notice of what I was saying. It didn't matter. Brynjolf was a strong man, what ever happened he'd get over it quickly I'd imagine.

"Mercer wants me to go to Solitude tomorrow. He's found someone we can talk to about the buyer who took Goldenglow and Honningbrew. Gonna find some slimy Argonian by the name of Gulum-Ei."

Brynjolf blinked. There was something odd about him, especially in the possibility of him actually praying to Talos. It was too...out of character.

"He's a stubborn lizard." He commented. "You're gonna have to buy him off."

I nodded. I'd sensed he was paying attention even if he was off with the torchbugs.

"I'll try and keep that in mind when I find him. Oh and I also want to mention, I've been thinking about what we talked about earlier."

He sat there still, but I kept speaking.

"I'm thinking of visiting the Greybeards if I get some time off. I think maybe I'll find answers to what I've been looking for there. As much as I want to stay with the Guild, I won't be able to find out my own destiny you know? I won't be gone forever obviously."

It's in the truest of my forethoughts. I am not rid of my fears just yet but in the seasons gone by I have grown stronger. I must know how I will overcome and the Greybeards may have the solution.

"Do what you must do. I won't stop you."

By Talos that just sounded really depressing. What was going on in that thick head of his?

"I know you've never heard me say this before Bryn, and it may be the only time you hear me say it...but I...uh...I appreciate you being there for me. At my worst...when everyone else would have turned me away."

I'd left him with that thought. I've been unbelievably selfish friend. I've come to see that. I wasn't going to bother him any further with the subject. I still feel for him though. I felt the need, I was compelled to let him know he's been nothing but a benefit. And I'm being a milk-drinker with just saying the words to him. By Talos why was that so difficult?

I'm still hiding in my own shell, but he's the only one I've let in there. But while I was going to let him figure what ever issues he was having and he knows he can come to me. I've never confided my pain in many people. I confide in Cody but he doesn't count since, hey, he's a horse.

He's a strong man and I've seen that. I'll make him feel better somehow, as long as it takes me.

And...thank you. Shut up, I am not blushing. It couldn't be any worse that this.


	17. Gulum Ei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra stalks a shifty Argonian for answers.

 

I left for Solitude in the early hours of the morning, making sure I'd get there sometime in the evening, I'd packed my bags and found Brynjolf back in the Flagon, appearing like his old self again.

I'm not as well...how would you put it, experienced in the fields of consolation as he. I'm not exactly the cuddling type. I've had this type of renewed strength but only because I was entirely focused.

He smiled at me, which gave me some relief. I knew he'd be okay. So with that, I was off... though Mercer wanted a word with me first for what ever reason. It was mostly that what ever information I find I speak with him first. Of course, as if I'd have any other choice. He was being so insecure about it for some reason. Perhaps it was nearing it's end and he was getting a little antsy of course. He seriously needs to get laid.

The trip over was largely uneventful, a pack of wolves...a troll. The usual band of trouble that one would find out on their way. I mean, the trip from Riften to Solitude is usually one of the longest, since you're going one side of the province to the other. I've made this trip several times but you always seem to find something new, traversing all types of terrain, being exposed to rises and drops in temperature. That sort of thing

After making it to Solitude in one piece and got there just as the sun was going down. I went to the Winking Skeever to find him. Stupid name.

I found the lizard and had a...cloaked conversation. He pretended to know but not know. There was so much crap in his mouth that I couldn't stand it. But I made do. I got him to spill that the buyer was particularly pissed at Mercer Frey. From then on it made things infinitely more interesting than before.

He left. I was prompted to tail him. I snickered at the very thought of it. Jokes aside, I followed him to the docks then inside the East Empire Company's docks and followed him inside the Warehouse.

I crawled and snuck my way around guards, ended up jumping on shelves and so forth. I was so good at this. Silly Argonian. His smugness will cost him dearly. As tempting as it was to fire an arrow into his cold, scaly heart, Mercer still needed him as a contact and person with the Company and still be the go between them and the Guild and get the good pick of the treasures that came in with every shipment that came by.

Still, I found a huge building up to the top. I became curious to its contents. There was a distinct lack of guards. Well, there were guards, but clearly not enough. I stole coin and a huge map, which could be beneficial to the Guild. I tucked it away and quickly made my way back to Gulum-Ei after that riveting detour.

I watched him carefully as he just disappeared underneath the docks. A little more investigated divulged that there was a secret entrance. Clever.

I worked my way around and realised this place was filled with bandits. They certainly had the smell about them. But there were so many things to steal that being a professional thief imbued the very feeling of kleptomania into my spirit. I'm sure my parents would be proud. Stole potions, gold, jewellery. All mine!

I made my way around in great haste. I'd taken down a few of these vagabonds the only way I knew how. In the shadows with my trusting bow, with an arrow to the heads or their hearts. Sometimes both.

I wormed my way throughout, dispatching more bandits before finding Gulum-Ei. I must have put the fear of the Gods in him, the way that anxiety riddled his eyes. I know the frightened view of pitiful souls, so I picked him up by his collar and pressed him against the shelves. Didn't care that I knocked a few things down.

We proceeded to negotiate further. He managed to spit out the buyers name as Karliah. I hadn't known that name yet he expected me to know it. He then revealed it as the one who killed Gallus, the previous Guild Master.

Very interesting. The plot itself thickens and I anticipated on how it was going to end. I'd get into Mercer's good books (hah) when I asked him where she was. All the lizard could say was.

" _Where the end began..._ "

Very cryptic...but perhaps Mercer would obviously know this meaning. I dropped the Argonian who basically was regretful in the whole ordeal. To what extent was unknown, but he offered to be a fence. Something useful after all.

I let him go and headed back to Riften with the news.

So, the whole story had indeed surrounded Mercer. No wonder he always appeared grouchy. This was a good reason to be. I'd be extremely infuriated if the one who betrayed came back to bite me in the ass. Hard. And this Karliah was doing well to piss him off. I say good work in getting to undermine the guy. She was very clever and I'd even admire her for it if she wasn't a traitor.

I wanted to get Mercers side of the story as well. I know my stories seem...possibly repetitive to you friend. I mean, betrayal is all about asking why? Why? What compels an individual to become what they are then at the last moment change? I reflected upon this with my own issues and wondered if it was possible to betray my emotions and kick a dragons ass accordingly. One day Petra, one day. For now, you are focused and blessed with the greatest thing that keeps you alive. It could be worse.

Maybe the Greybeards would know the answer? Hmm?

I came back to Riften in the late hours of the afternoon and I was just tired. Really tired. I'd forgotten to rest when I was excited by the prospects of telling Mercer. It was getting to the end of this scenario. I'd wager Mercer would want to dispatch Karliah and the Guild would be back on it's feet in no time. And I'd get time to discover myself.

Before I got to do anything, once I told Mercer what I had found out, he basically said out loud that both of us would be going to...Snow Veil Sanctum...at least that's what he thought was the meaning of the words. I told Mercer I'd wait for him there as I had to prep myself. He pretty much just left straight away after giving me directions on my map. That man gives me the creeps sometimes. The way he often looked at me. But enough about that.

I went to Delvin to sell the map to him, then went to talk to Brynjolf about what transpired and what was about to transpire. He took me into the training room to talk to him alone. Okay then.

We stood in the middle of the room, with him having this serious look on his face. He stood rather close to me and looked me straight in the eye. He was definitely worried about something.

"First off, I know I was being a bit strange the other night. I had an argument with the others in the Flagon and it got heated." He worded.

I figured out as much.

"Any fists thrown?" I asked, jokingly.

Brynjolf made a warm smile. It suited him. It really did.

"Nope. Could of, but Dirge would have thrown us out on our asses. I turned tail and ran off. Gave me time to think."

I learned I could depend on Brynjolf but I didn't want to weigh all my problems on him. He may have been the only one thus far to understand me in the slightest, but I felt bad about putting my burdens on him when he just didn't deserve it.

So it was my turn to help him.

"What were you thinking about?" I wondered out to him. You know, let him relay his issues to me. I have learned a lot after all.

But he was hesitant to reply straight away, like the issue was complicated enough.

"Just...the way the guild has gone lately. You're out to face Karliah, our sworn, unseen nemesis. I want you to be extra careful."

I smirked.

"You can trust me to be okay Brynjolf, I'll promise I'll come back alive. No need to worry. Unless there's a dragon, I'll..."

I know the proposition of dragons always entered the picture, my phobia would take over me as I became as useless and heavy as a rock in water. Unmovable and wet with tears. I know the instant I hear their roars and their screams, I always picture Helgen once more.

Though my journey with the Guild sent me all over Skyrim. I made sure to map out my locations carefully and determine the best, safest routes. Dragons, normally (not counting before) stay off the main roads and elsewhere. I know now that my survival depended on me using tactics to avoid them as much as I possibly could.

I think, it's just a trigger that sets me off, you know. I can freely talk about dragons in certain terms and aspects but if I as so much see one, hear one, see a picture of one, see a great big fire, it can set me off. I'm fine otherwise. In those events however, I become such a mess that I can no longer see myself there, I become trapped in my mind unable to do anything but wallow in cowardice.

Brynjolf has tried, he never judges me on it. He sees me for me, like I had always wanted and that the phobia was just an obstacle that needed time for me to get over. I'd never considered the concept of fully ridding myself of it. I've treated it as a sickness, searching for a cure. It's got to be the joke of the Gods on constructing such a destiny, a fate for myself that has me dealing with it.

I took to recall the other conversation I had with Bryn. The reasons why I was chosen. Ultimately, the Chosen One, still has choice, hence the term Chosen. No, that's a load of crap and you and I both know it. I do have choice. I never had the choice to fear it's just there and I'm cursed under it's spell. No, I can confront it. I can learn do what it takes to overcome. And it's the Greybeards that can put me on the right path to do so.

The other part Brynjolf mention was that I might make a thousand assumptions to find why. The question why would forever float around begging me to find the answer. I'd discovered that the reason of why would be my own creation? Why I was given this gift? This...curse. Because the Gods knew I would be of their main design.

It's not just the fact that I can shout easily and destroy dragons, but it all boils down to choice. I can afford to make my own way and not have my fate seen or written anyone else. I chose to come to Riften because...I knew it's reputation as a dark place and that my own instincts guided me there.

I have control of this fate. I could lead myself to where ever. I could be shown the way, but I had the ability to either go forth with it or ignore it completely.

I've read of certain individuals amongst the depths of legends who have had such control. Who originally saw themselves as being manipulated on a subtle scale and then became who they were in their own right. Like the Nerevarine of old, and the Hero of Kvatch. These stories became embridled in history and as a result of their actions were made known through Tamriel.

Maybe I'd become one of them. To wear the term Dragonborn and that it wasn't every day you'd see one, was just as notorious as the Nerevarine. That no one cared what race they were, what gender and what abilities they had, in that they were just people who achieved so much and had made such an impact in their eras to be written down on the vestige of time.

And in those thoughts, I desperately wanted to overcome. Because I had the potential to do so. And that was...fantastic. It brought so much light to my life. Once I had cursed this, now I realise what was going on and the possibilities were endless.

Sorry for going on about that. Moving on...oh yeah. This part.

Brynjolf got closer to me. I shuddered as he looked over my small stature, placing his palm my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. Butterflies were reborn in my stomach as he did so. His smile. Oh what can I say? It was just full of warmth and his eyes darting all over my face for some reason.

And when he opened his lips, his voice as so...how can I describe it? Soft? Tender? Real...intimate.

Assurances. All assurances I'm sure of it. Don't you dare giggle at me friend, this is serious!

"Petra, Mercer will take care of you. Any dragons arrive he'll just have to drag you away. He's competent enough to know what to do." He explained to me with his soft, pleasing voice.

I swallowed, then bit my lip as my eyes turned away. I tried to get away from his gaze at that awkward tense moment. Bryn was so adorable with his outmost trust in Mercer. Wait, did I say adorable. Ah crap.

He placed his other hand on my other cheek, now holding my face. He was adamant to look me in the eye, as if trying to figure something out. Everything about him was so warm and welcoming, I could have gotten lost in his eyes. You would have to if he was doing this to you friend.

My mouth hard started to drop. He was definitely studying me...or waiting for me to speak. One or the other. I then realised he was just trying to get me to forget about the dragons for that moment. Oops there goes my trail of thought again!

I looked down, raised my shaking arms and slowly but surely wrapped my arms around him, like a big teddy bear. He pressed me against his chest, moving one hand to the top of my head, and the other around me. I could have lingered there forever. It was nice. Like after we killed that dragon together.

All he was doing was letting me know that it was definitely going to be okay. But even so, with my ear against his chest, he certainly wasn't calm. His heart beat was going at it like crazy and that tiny little shake he was doing, which I thought was me at first, indicated he was nervous, or scared himself. I'd love to know how he was doing it so discreetly that you'd actually have to focus to recognise it. But I wasn't going to point it out. I was trying to find out why he was either nervous or scared.

"Bryn?" I muttered, my voice vibrating against his chest.

"Mmm?" He replied brazenly. I liked the feeling of his hand rubbing my head. Felt good.

"You know, after this...I know it sounds strange, but would you mind accompanying me when I go to the Greybeards?"

Yeah I wanted him to come with me. Such a stupid question. Brynjolf is a very busy man! Being Second-in-Command is very important! So busy! I asked him anyway, just letting him know he was welcome to, help me if needed? I don't know. The question just rolled out unwanted. I was totally prepared to go by myself, because hey, I'm the Dragonborn. No one else needed to be involved...and I...

"If all goes well with defeating Karliah, Mercer could be in a better mood than he's ever been...so it's a possibility." He responded.

I uh...huh. You know I originally never intended to say that. It kind of just dropped out. Let's hope that it happens of course!

"You don't have to if you don't want to Bryn..." I said, placing my chin on his chest and looking up at him from below. I was probably pleading or at least giving the pleading look. He just chuckled and grinned. I could have sworn his heart was beating faster now.

"Of course I want to go lass. You deserve a lot more recognition than the Guild actually tells you. Now it's time we help you instead."

We parted ways, and shook hands on the agreement. It was funny you know, that our own general closeness had gotten to this point. I liked it. Just something to look forward to after a long hard day. Most people would be prudish but Brynjolf was pretty open. In private. He'd die before anyone else saw him act the way he did. It was an amusing thought.

"Good luck out there lass." He called out as I left the cistern.

Thanks for the hug.


	18. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf uncharacteristically searches for spiritual guidance and makes an unexpected epiphany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the fact Bryn claims he isn't religious....

 

I know my attitude towards the whole thing got flipped on it's head. It's not something I had even considered but the others manage to speak about it and suddenly they got this terrible idea stuck in my head.

But my mind became clouded in it and I didn't like it. It wasn't right. It wasn't possibly and it was just inappropriate to talk about. But the more I pushed the thoughts away, the harder they came back again.

I was becoming a bit paranoid about it and decided that work would give me something to think about. Not at least until she'd come back from Solitude with the news. I'd apologised to the others for my behaviour. I took major offence that I hardly realised until later on that...Gods.

I'd sat in front of Talos to think, not to make massive prayer or what ever is it that these people do. It really got to me. I had to force myself to remember that these people didn't know half of what was going on in her life and I'd just been helping her out...out of kindness.

It had meaning and power to it. Nothing that I'd had out of the ordinary, since I'd seen those light blue eyes walk through those doors that day. Something was definitely distinct. Coloured. Fresh.

It shouldn't have gotten to me. Not really. I was fine until they spat it out.

She'd found me there. I should have known she'd come looking for me. She talked and I listened in to her stories. I would have smiled if I wasn't in a bad mood. Because that moment crushed my mind into disarray. Splintered it. That had never occurred to me before. Not ever.

I can push it aside but I refuse to acknowledge it's existence, crumbled forever into my subconscious. But when she appeared there beside me, my mind wanted to become clear in her presence, to press the matter and make everything okay. But instead it made it even more awkward between us.

I'm amused at the spirits laughing at me. Talking to Talos, then Talos gives me his future incarnate to deal with me. That couldn't have been coincidence. He'd been doing this on purpose. I just know it.

When I think about Delvin and his mention that the Guild was cursed, I was originally sceptical about it. But when Petra came into the picture and her story came into full view, things started to move and shift in my mind. About what could happen and what could be. A thousand futures at once.

When she left that day, I was in a better mood since I made amends for my wrong doings. By wrong doings it was just saying sorry. No one pressed the matter after that. I don't know whether that was better, or worse. Then she returned, no problem, no hassle. I dwelled on it, trying to figure out what it was.

We had another meeting alone in the training room. This time it was me who was anxious when we walked in there. Our own little haven when no one else was there. I had to test my thoughts out, to seek my hearts desires.

I was proud of her of course and a little envious. Karliah may have been before my time, but the way Mercer used to scorn her, call her a little wench and the total hatred he had for her. She was also dangerous and lethal if you weren't prepared for her. But Mercer had put his faith in her abilities after all the legwork she'd been doing and I guessed he wanted to see her abilities for himself. No matter. You'd think that after all of my trying my efforts would have given me some recognition. I'd been a loyal dog but the Guild is my home...my family. I would do anything for it.

Petra was part of the family now. Long deserved that recognition. She'd mentioned the dragons again and being a touchy issue that I wanted to put a thought, a memory in her head to think of me when she was in trouble. I don't think that would ultimately be the issue in terms of who was going to be with. Mercer could be a brute of a man at times, constantly scolding. But he was on edge with all the issues of the Guild weighing down on his shoulders. I know he was trying but...

It didn't matter. The brightest of the Guild were out to get revenge. Sweet revenge. And I was jealous that I couldn't be a part of it. I'd sneak in smaller glimpses at Petra and Mercer talking from time to time. She'd never tell me though. And she'd never mention it. Since it was always about business as far as I was aware. Lately, I'd gotten on edge myself and anxious about their interactions, like neither were telling me anything. It was nothing to do with me and if Mercer needed something from me he just had to say the word. Petra acted all the same so I tried to think nothing over it.

So all I did was imprint on her. I got closer as I'd noticed she drifted away from me, her eyes glistening, as if she was recalling a darker time. I'd given her warmth and comfort. I wanted to look deep into her stare and hope she didn't witness me withholding my pride there for a moment. I cradled her face in my hands. Truthfully, she just needed focus.

My eyes started to crawl around her small, thin and pale face. My gut churned up something fierce as I checked out her lips of all places as she smiled at me. I uh...never been this way around a woman before. Not that I haven't been with a woman it's just that...

Uh. well, I did wrap my arms around her little body. To remind her of the days of darkness that might overwhelm her, that she could depend on me to aid her when ever she needed it the most.

I could feel my cheeks warm up, funnily enough and my body started to shake, slightly. Shor's head I didn't want her to find out. This was just making me weak. Though she'd asked me out of the blue if I wanted to come with her to go see the Greybeards after it was all finished up.

To tell you the truth I haven't seen the world as much as I wanted to. I've been around Skyrim but not in it's truest, deepest depths. To travel around, raid old ruins and to find the greatest haul. It was a dream of mine. The riches could keep me well fed for years and my appetite for adventure would grow.

I'd been stuck in the Guild for so long that I'd forgotten what it felt like. To slay innumerable foes and discover life's greatest mysteries. The way that my life had been, in the drenches of this cistern, blindly following orders. I don't doubt the best of my years have been with the guild and there had unquestionably been some ups and downs. But after this I figured I could afford the change of pace and the thought of the thrill of pilfering through run down caves did nothing to quell my hunger.

It was comical when she pressed her chin against my chest like a pup pleading for it's treat. I think she expected me, as Mercer's secondary, to stay here as work would still need to be done. Mercer would need me if he wanted me anyway and he could find anyone else to do his work.

And when I told her that it was possible...her face lit up like an aurora in the night sky. My own heart wrenched at the sight.

It was...so beautiful. We broke off our current contact, as hard as it was, funnily enough. She left with this hopeful grin adorning her face and it had been the greatest treasure I'd discovered so far.

And after she'd disappeared, I'd already started to miss her.

Wait, was that how it went? I'm not actually. Oh no...no this wasn't right. Not right at all. I feel so...uneasy about it. How...how could I have been so blind? I'm not conceiving this right. I have the utmost respect for Petra and would do anything to help her. I just felt like I'd just taken a beating from a dragon myself. But there are no dragons in Riften...only...Petra. Aye, this was Petra's territory. I think. How should I bloody know how dragons live? My image of them are these isolated creatures who prefer to be alone and attack anybody who disturbs...I. For goodness sake what in Shor's name am I talking about? My advice is shite, and my metaphors are complete tripe. I'm not the kind of the man she thinks I am. I mean, uh...you know I want to help her. That's it. You know. Why do I have this one to a thousand free thoughts left wandering about and poking me in the gut, my heart and my head at the same time? I can't think straight anymore. I just don't understand what's wrong with me?

Pushing it aside, made it worse. I'd forgotten I was still in the training room long after she'd disappeared. Maybe joining her afterwards wasn't such a good idea after all. Or maybe it is. It'd give me my golden purpose and my silver purpose to figure out what I was indeed feeling. Whether it was true or something was messing with my head. All I know to say is...

Thank you Mercer, you made me more envious of you now. Now you'll have to excuse me, I need to go have some mead to think things over.


	19. Snow Veil Sanctum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Mercer go to Snow Veil Sanctum to hunt down Karliah, where Petra sees a side to Mercer she never expected to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - canon-bending here and you might find some of its contents disturbing.

I'd met our gracious Guild Master at the entrance of the Sanctum. I'd never gotten to know him much throughout my time with the Guild. He would have never let me in if he hadn't gotten Bryn's confidence. Still, while everyone else came to bare my presence and came to respect me eventually, I never got the right vibes from Mercer, like he never wanted me here. Man had fallen into depths of management stress and like me, always wanted to talk about business but he was just so...strained and buggered all the way up to Sovngarde. He'd speak to me, but you never knew what the man was really thinking.

Though to be truthful, and I really don't want to discuss this, but...I seriously am freaked out by the breton. I never really put much thought into myself since I could forget about it and my mind could travel elsewhere. Plus...this would most likely get me thrown out of the Guild and either me or Mercer's arse getting kicked for him doing it. And I'd think Brynjolf would have been killed for it. So I stomached it and never said anything. But...but don't judge me from what I'm about to say.

Sigh, Mercer I'm certain, has a serious issue in terms on how he deals with women. He eyes off Sapphire but does not say a word. Sapphire and I had come to terms with what was off limits when we talked. So while we might not like each other, we had an understanding. That was fine. We both liked being alone. Whether or not this was triggered by Karliah or what I didn't know. Mercer, as Guild Master, has many times just given me strange looks. I never mentioned it before because it wasn't important. I never figured as much anyway, so sorry for being so sudden with it.

The connections between thieves were limited. We were often alone and prided in doing so. Too many people caused a ruckus, so the times we had to ourselves was just a natural habit off the selfish, greedy thief. We came to trust only ourselves the most and everyone else second. In Mercer's case, either third or fourth. Man is so self-centred sometimes. Even more so than your regular thief. Reaps the benefits and gets all the good haul and he's the one getting showered in gifts? Something wasn't right.

Everyone just didn't see it or ignored it like I did. I wouldn't have any doubts he was a really good thief and I could see why Brynjolf thought of him as a mentor. He was just...odd at times. I'd spoken about it to Tonilia just once and she just told me not to start any rumours or else he'd pick them up quickly and drive a wedge throughout the guild to find the source and cut them in half in more ways than one. Whether it was just with the women I dunno. Never asked Vex since she was part of that little crew of his. Never told Bryn since he'd never believe me.

So when Mercer told me to lead and he'll follow, I questioned his logic. You do not dare question Mercers logic. He pushed me against the wall, against my own will, and gave me the worst glare , that I shuddered from. I could have pressed back. It wasn't the fact that I'd be committing a crime against my own boss but a compelled feeling of just being weak and vulnerable. I tried to remain still, since resisting would make things worse. But, ugh, this next part just makes me feel incredibly sick...

I'd back chatted and that was enough. The man on edge was pushed and pushed back. No, he'd...

 _forced_  his lips on mine, digging his tongue into my throat and taking me by surprise. What in Oblivion? Where were the signs? I felt disgusted so much I'd tried forcing myself back but trying to wriggle my way out but he was just too strong. The aura he was giving off was giving me mixed messages and tangling the very thoughts in my head. Just gross. And he was groaning!  _Ew_!

It'd been a mixture of a nightmare that I'd been so absent-minded that I no longer had control of my body. He...slithered his hand up from the bottom of my armour, his fingertips flushing over my stomach. I tried to push him back, but he instead kneed me in the gut. I'd almost hurled as he did so.

This grubby man was unbelievable. How was it I had no strength to fight? How could I have anything to fight back. I was an archer! I needed distance for a reason! I...

" _You will listen to me_." He muttered into my ear, his voice low and frightening. The worst part was he was pushing me against the wall, forcing my legs on each side of him. His...his hard on imminent as it brushed up against my thighs. I...I...where was Bryn? I wanted to scream his name, but Mercer had his palm over my mouth. I'd take the Dragons over this any day. Where was a dragon where you needed one? No. I wanted Brynjolf. Tears dropped from my eyes. This was so...shameful. I couldn't...I wouldn't...he shouldn't. Gah Petra you pathetic fool!

"I've been watching you for some time now little pet. I know Brynjolf has been looking after you. He's so...admirable. Unfitting for the Guild. He may be skilled but his honour and love for you above all us is just so...not Brynjolf. He was fine until you came...I was fine until you came."

I swallowed hard. I was so...angry but feeble. Just that extra tone of his underneath that low, low whisper, his voice sending chills and hot flushes everywhere.

"People follow my orders for a reason. I could tell you a hundred stories and you'd believe me. Sapphire, Vex, Tonilia...they all did the same thing. They don't say a word because they know what will happen."

And here it was just me thinking that they were like this by default. Especially Sapphire.

" _But you're the most interesting one by far..._ "

I shivered as he started suckling my neck, groaning again as he started to thrust against me. No...this couldn't be happening! Brynjolf...I...no, please my friend, don't look.

"You're certainly the cutest one, that's a given. I see why Brynjolf likes you. You know he was only doing that to get to you. Difference is that I'm honest about it. I know what I want and I know that I get it. Bryn likes to take the difficult approach. Being all kind and muddy. It's a stupid way to court people and you dispose of them like carcasses. But I have use for all the ladies in my Guild. They're exactly like  _you_ , except for being the most skilled I've seen since Karliah..."

My eyes opened wider. I was being compared to a traitor? That's why? He...he was taking it on me? Since he wanted her? I...I didn't know what to think. I just wanted him to stop! Brynjolf could never, he wouldn't...he'd...I'd...

"You'll make do for now. You and I can be great buddies in the coming seasons. Oh yeah, we can go on the greatest heists. I have one planned up after we've dealt with Karliah. And you're coming with me."

He went back to kissing me. His breath stank of ale, but in my head was just...too many feelings going on at once I could explode! His moaning was unbearable...then, he'd...grabbed...

Seriously friend, I was being violated here. I couldn't scream...all I could...I...

My minds gone...hollow and my heart non-existent. I can't speak about it anymore...I'm sorry...

My minds gone blank.

* * *

I'm here. Still...somewhere. Awake. But...

We'd gone inside. Mercer picked the lock easily. We'd navigated, he chatted and I was silent. Found an old boat model I'd sell to Delvin, worth the explosion it caused. Killed Draugr and the like, found a word wall that embedded itself into my head and yet again I couldn't comprehend it's meaning nor understand it. My state is still in limbo. Sorry...

It'd become less of a hassle as we'd taken down dozens of the relentless and noisy...so noisy, Draugr. Their shouts made Mercer more hostile and mad enough for him to go on a frenzy with his blades. To you, this was the face of a true monster. What ever happened, he'd make every reminder of what he did to me with every smile, with every creature he slayed with EVERYTHING HE DID.

But I remained calm friend. I've remained so calm, so damn calm it would make YOUR head SPIN! Isn't it fascinating? The way that people CHANGE BECAUSE OF THIS! YOU CAN'T DO A GODS DAMNED THING. NO YOU JUST SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING.

I...I'm sorry...you can't do anything...can you? Can anybody? Is anybody? I can't walk among people after this. Where ever I go...I want my freedom. But I'm locked back that cage...I'm back on that carriage to Helgen and my head is on the chopping block, I see those crimson eyes and I watch that sky turn dark. I watched the sky fall before me, I watched fire burn to a crisp and I watched everything fall apart.

I...I've survived this long because I followed orders. I followed Hadvar out of that mess, out of the fire of death and destruction and I went to Riverwood. I went to Whiterun and I told the Jarl. I helped the Jarl.

I FOLLOWED ORDERS

And...I...the day I didn't I died.

I'm dead.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry...

I don't know how I'm even walking in this method of madness.

I have to follow Mercer. He's telling me what to do because I'll survive. I'll survive for sure.

I don't need to but I wanted...

Perhaps I'm better off being alone.

**STOP TOUCHING ME!**

I'm sorry I'm yelling again. I don't need you touching my shoulder friend... There is a method in this madness. I still feel those scars, that burn

THEY BURN

WHY

I...I...think I'll be okay. Just need to keep following orders. I needed that rant. But I still feel...

Disgusted, wrong...why...did he have to be so rough? Just the very image strikes me. But I have to remain focused.

I didn't want to die. No. Then again, it'd be nice wouldn't it? Dragonborn my ass...no way. What a pathetic story. I'm hallucinating. Just another whimsical joke from a Daedric Prince I'd guess, You'd believe it to. The very bile they spat on me.

Suddenly its cold. No Mercer's behind me again isn't he? Yeah, slay that Draugr. It's head belonging on a pike! DO IT!

Obey orders friend and you'll live. But I think we're coming to a part that I can...yes, you're certainly right. More Draugr. I have my bow. My trusty, Dwarven Bow. I could have killed Mercer but I'd be disobeying him now wouldn't I? He'd do it again for sure.

I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.

It come a repeated method of mine. So trusty. Uh oh, another Draugr.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

My mind was in a blur, entranced, that every motion felt rehearsed and I felt unstoppable. But I couldn't feel anything.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

My arms waved around, my body moved around. I knew what I was doing but I had no idea what was happening.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

So rehearsed, the shouts, the screams, the roars. My mouth had been tight shut. A power snapped together but too much was clouded, unseen...

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

No more tears were shed. Tears had disappeared. But I found no reason to cry.

**I took aim, pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow, hit a target.**

No reason but to fight my way through. This was my job. Mercer ordered me to.

I...took...aim...pulled the bowstring back, fired the arrow...fired again. Defeated the target.

Not sure who I am anymore. Draugr are disgusting aren't they?

Were in the final midst of this chaos. There was one of those 'infamous Nordic puzzle doors' as Mercer called it that he picked through like it was nothing. Like a gentleman, he let me go first.

You know, regardless of what happened when the sound of arrow being flung is shot in my direction, the same exact feeling of numbness was afoot. I'd lay there, motionless yet again. Not that I was ordered to...I just couldn't move. It was okay. Mercer would take care of it.

I heard him talk with a raspy voiced woman. I had little vision from where I was. It was hard to make out on what they were saying, I wasn't concentrating. Mercer would deal with it soon enough. Had to be Karliah, couldn't be anyone else. Mercer would just take her down and we'd been back on our way.

But...she fled. She disappeared. Mercer couldn't see her. He's going to be furious.

He comes over to me. I've disappointed him. He's saying something to me but I can't hear him, my focus was lost. I'd witnessed him stabbing me though. He did it for a reason. What ever reason it was it had to be a good one. He couldn't violate me anymore than he did earlier.

Thank the Gods I couldn't feel it...I embraced the darkness that welcomed me. Welcome home Petra.


	20. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shadowy dunmer thief's best hope is a broken nord woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter from Karliahs perspective.

Mercer will pay for what he's done to this poor girl. Amongst other things.

I've been hiding for twenty five years and been perfecting a poison that would have struck his heart. Then I'd bring him amongst the fury of the Guild and would show them what he's done.

It's been difficult, but the shadows still welcomed me after everything. After all these years.

The girl was alive, but when she'd gotten up, woozy from the paralytic poison I'd been preparing for about a year, I could see straight through her. She was breathing but dead inside. I could see her wounds, both physically and emotionally.

Oh Mercer,  _what have you done_?

I know in the past he's had his past exploits but this definitely crossed the line. I'd never been more angrier since...

He'd killed Gallus...

I can't say too much now. But the girl...I've seen this. He's done it before. The same look, the same apathetic response to reality. She was in a terrible state. I'd stitched her up from her wounds while she was unconscious. The hard part was carrying her body out. I could be more annoyed; I've laid out this brilliant plan to get him here, that'd cost me time and septims to get it this far. My fullest intention was to trap Mercer, but I'd underestimated him greatly.

I should have known that he was smart enough to drag another poor soul into the picture. And he's done more than stolen a life, but now he's stolen a spirit. It was going too far.

I sat her down and got her something to eat. She was hesitant to talk to me. The only question she'd ask was:

"Where's Mercer?" I hadn't the heart to tell her. She appeared so broken, shivering. I'd seen this happen before but not like this.

She was refusing to eat at first, but I tried to encourage her to do so. Her hand was shaking, not from the cold but...this had torn her up so badly. I felt sorry for her.

All I could tell was that she was from the Guild, also judging that she was with Mercer and the obvious fact she was wearing the Guild Armour. I was trying to figure out why Mercer had taken her of all people. I know in the past, while me...while Gallus...and Mercer were the original trio of professional thieves, that Mercer had once had the gift with women. But more often than not, we'd see him hitting on pretty girls who resisted his charms and just found him more repulsive. There was a moment that just twisted him into the dredge that he became that...forced him to murder Gallus and to use every trick in the book to frame me.

Yes I was framed.

For many years I've been in the dark to speak with few. I covered my tracks well and was very careful of who I spoke to. Some days I'd wander into Riften, but never dared to cross anyone I saw from the Guild or other infamous individuals. Especially Maven.

Recalling that though, there was a day where I had seen one of them, a red-haired Nord selling junk to the public. He was from the Guild, no doubt about it. Brynjolf was his name. I remained unseen in the shadows nearby, watching events unfold.

The girl he spoke with...the girl in the torn yellow dress and bony face. I looked at the girl next to me. It couldn't be...

Mercer couldn't have known what I was up to. I'd worked this out to a better extent than anything I'd ever planned. Or, he knew my tricks. We'd spent so much time together in the past that it was obvious he'd have an idea of what I was trying to do. I'd only spoken with Gulum-Ei and he'd followed his orders to the letter. At first I'd assumed Mercer would be doing all the work. He'd faked his love for the Guild so much and I was so sure that he'd want his revenge for forcing his group to lose a lot of gold. Oh only if he knew the irony of the situation.

What I didn't expect was that he was getting someone to suss it out for him. Sneaky. I lacked foresight in that. When I spoke with Gulum-Ei he apologised to me and begged for my forgiveness when he told me that he revealed that I was the buyer of Goldenglow and the rest of the events that unfolded.

I couldn't tell him I was using him as a relay. To force Mercer to go back where it all began so I could finally get to the end of this ridiculous game.

I'd then asked Gulum-Ei was it Mercer, but he said no. It was a Nord woman, light brown hair in a pony tail and to him had pretty light blue eyes.

No doubt that this girl was the one who talked to him.

Mercer, Mercer, Mercer. I couldn't hate you more. Forcing this poor girl under your spell.

Then again, she would have been quite skilled in it at least. The Guild fairs poorly due to reasons I will reveal eventually but she was doing pretty well for herself. Perhaps that was the reason why Mercer had a lustful desire for her. He always did. I'd normally always warn any female guild member to avoid him as much as possible and I was a fool not to see it in time. I may be too late.

I still had to get Gallus' journal translated. I found his remains, (shadows preserve his soul) and interred them. But I had no idea how I was going to do it.

I looked at the girl. She was looking into space, barely eaten any of the bread I gave her.

I knelt down before her. Her eyes darted to mine. I hadn't much time to spare and I needed her on her feet. The more time we wasted, the more Mercer was able to get away. But I couldn't leave her like this and I really needed her help.

"What's your name?" I asked her. It was a start.

I put her my hand on hers and she shirked it back in response. This wasn't going to work.

"I know you probably won't like mine. You have heard it a few times. I don't know how you'll react, but, my name is Karliah. I'm not out to kill you. I'm here to help."

Suddenly her entire composure changed to something furious and out for blood. She jumped out at me and tried to choke me, but I dodged at that moment, watching her fall to the ground.

Damn it. I tried sitting her back up. I dusted her off and let her look at me again. Tears started running down her face.

I don't know how to do this. I had my own problems to deal with. But I wanted revenge more than ever. I remained vigilant and I wasn't a big prick like Mercer.

"I am not your enemy. If I was, I promise you, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

She looked up at me again with hazy, dead eyes. I think she was taking that logic, I wasn't sure though.

She managed to stand up on her own two feet, a bit wobbly though. I made sure to watch if she'd fall over, but she was doing well for herself after all.

"Sorry. ...I don't...I can't..." She choked. I walked around and patted her on the back.

"You should be directing any anger at Mercer. He's manipulated you...and the Guild."

She nodded. Good. She understood.

She was stronger than she looked. I'd wager it'd take anyone a long time to get over anything. I mean, I have been trying to get back at Mercer for the last twenty-five years. I've just been patient and cautious. But even now with Mercer gone, he doesn't know that I have proof. Possibly proof of his deceptions and...inexcusable actions.

"Petra..." She muttered.

I had to do a double take.

"My name is Petra."

I nodded. Good. I'm glad she wasn't trying to kill me. Though the more pain she had the more easy to see she was outright torn apart. She was standing still, which was a good sign.

"Nice to meet you Petra. Now, I need you to focus..."

She nodded. Her eyes, dreary, were slowly going back to life. I've never seen such a fast recovery. Sort of. A lot of Mercer's victims took ages to unwind back to their old selves, but still had the scars to show it.

"I can do that." She told me. Her voice, though weak, was genuine. She'd stood up straight, as if awaiting orders.

"I'm trying to get this book translated. It'll be our key, our evidence to get back at Mercer. Are you still with me?"

I'd noticed her shiver at the mere name of Mercer. But she nodded with a hint of strength.

"Translation? Would anyone at the College of Winterhold be able to help out? I know they're the sort to maybe know or..." She muttered out.

Insightful but unknowing. But! I recalled Enthir, a Bosmer stationed at the College. He was a friend of Gallus as I remember. I smiled.

"Of course! Yes. He should be able to help us. Let's take this journal there and see what we can find. I suggest you come along."

She took a deep breath. I was hoping somewhere in that perplexed mind of hers that she was thinking about it. I really wanted to keep an eye on her. But she nodded. I'd found her horse nearby, surprisingly still alive. After Mercer had killed my horse, her horse was smart enough to stay away,

"I'll come with you. Just tell me what to do."

Thank Nocturnal for letting me have another chance.


	21. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf contemplates Petra's proposition, when Mercer returns with horrible news.

 

I'd never saw myself even going up the 7,000 steps to visit the Greybeards in their precious monastery. Could be an eye opener for all I believed. You'd look out to the rest of the province and be amazed. Sadly I never had the time or interest to do anything.

When you're like me, you're oblivious to everything that's not someone moving in here with valuable loot to take or if it's just business related. If the War had some benefit to us I'd know. I mean, who was thick enough to not know there wasn't a war going on? But for myths, legends and all that stuff, I wasn't entirely interested in it. Dragons were just a huge slap on the face for just about everybody. And we'd somehow got caught in it.

It wasn't Petra's fault. She was trying to get away from it like everyone else. Who is prepared for a dragon attack after all these years?

It was then I tried to catch up on lost reading, shuffling through dozens of books, about the Dragon War and the infamous Alduin the World-Eater. I'd been sitting in the Flagon reading all about it. One of the books had a drawing of the monster. Big, black, spiky. Petra had mentioned that to me once before. A creature so powerful, it drove men to fear. The worst was the, perhaps just myth, that it'd go to Sovngarde to feast on the souls of the dead. A load of poppycock.

But I can see why Petra spoke it of it with such dread. It was Alduin she'd met in Helgen, the fire that destroyed the town from the flames from the revered deity. Yet, she'd met with this destiny of hers that calls for her to take it down. What kind of sick joke was this?

I'd sooner believed my own words that yes, she had her own power and that in given time, she would indeed be ready to take him down as was foretold. We can only guide though. No one knows what is truly in store for her and that the journey would take's its path in the given approach. That might have been why the Greybeards had called her. They'd guided Dragonborn in the past. They would take care of her, hone her abilities and skills and get her to believe far more than anyone else. But she was stuck in the Guild and it was holding her back.

I can understand her wanting to ignore it. It's not up to anyone, including Mercer, to decide. Mercer would never believe the stories either but we'd have to take chance to find out what it all meant and to see if Petra was capable of doing this. Especially on her own.

I wanted to let her know, I wanted to stress so much that she could got all the help she needed.

Her attitude had slightly developed...or even greatly developed since I met her. Once this fragile, frustrated little thing now was a lot stronger. She's so good at what she does...aye, I think, she could do more. Heh, a lot more.

The Guild could be back it's feet in no time. Those two were just...the best the Guild had offered in years. So much good news had come in lately and I'd been enjoying the success. I think everyone was.

Though, my eyes flung to a door slamming, with an angry Mercer storming through the flagon with fire and hate in his eyes. I looked around. Where was Petra?

I got out of my chair and followed Mercer back into the Cistern.

* * *

He was awfully quiet, but had the fury in his heart. Something had happened.

"What happened with Karliah? Where did Petra go?" I questioned with haste. I'd assumed Petra was elsewhere and would be down shortly, but the sight of Mercer's scowl drove daggers to my gut.

Mercer was back at his desk, grabbing a few things, paper work and shoving them into a bag. Definitely in a hurry.

"Petra's dead." He spoke bluntly.

I had to double check.

"I'm sorry, did you say she was dead?" I asked him again, not really taking in what he was saying.

"Karliah got to her. It's okay, I managed to track wind of her and I'm just getting my things to chase her down. I'll get that bitch if it's the last thing I do." Mercer revealed.

I went silent. No. Petra promised she would be okay. No...no I promised Petra, that Mercer would take care of her. I swallowed hard...and became a little angry.

"By the Eight, you left her body there?" I called out to him, trying to get his attention as I leaned over his desk demanding answers.

"Bryn it was either I get her body and risk an arrow to the neck or I get out of there as fast I could and get vengeance on the dunmer. She will pay."

For some reason his voice was different, and was completely emotionless. My own head was spinning around with disbelief. My heart wrenched and ached as I curled my fist. How could Mercer be so careless as to let one of his best and brightest die like that?

"But...she couldn't..."

"Believe it or not...but feel free to grab her corpse while's it's still fresh. A shame we couldn't kiss her goodbye. Damn shame...I liked the girl." Mercer mentioned. There was a lot of venom in his tone that swelled me up inside.

"But for now, I'm off. Don't bother following me, I'm a lot faster on my own. If you want to give the girl a decent burial, get your ass up there quick. And lock down the Cistern. While I might be following Karliah elsewhere, she may give me the slip again and head straight here. Don't let her get past you...and you have my permission to kill her."

I nodded. My head hadn't caught the draught of the wind yet.

"Affirmative. I'll warn everyone to get ready." I replied.

Mercer grumbled, grabbed his stuff and left the cistern.

While I was left there, staring off into deep space, caught in the oncoming brush of hurt.

* * *

I didn't know what to feel. Anger, sadness...a combination of the two. My heart just...didn't want her dead. It wanted to believe so badly that she was alive. That she lingered on. But...

My head was telling me that this was it. The end was still in sight and the Guild could still get back up but...

Without it's best to show an example, it may fall into disrepair...the Guild would miss her.

I...would miss her.

I realised the colour had gone from my face as I suddenly felt cold, a sign of hopelessness. But if I was going to do anything, I had to get everyone prepped for caution of the highest priority. I did the run arounds, letting everyone know what was going on. I'd gone to the Flagon to let them know, and one question was on everyone's lips...

"What happened to that sweet heart Petra?" Delvin questioned.

My heart had been torn in two and I tried to hide it. Tonilia took one look at me and knew. Lass usually catches onto these things quicker than most. But she still had to ask as I stood there, my arms drooped to their sides.

"Bryn, what happened?" She questioned as she sat stood up before me.

I bit my lip.

"She's...she's dead." I spoke with such sorrow. I don't normally cry and I was one of the strongest to hold back tears. I was doing well so far, but like Petra, I need to concentrate to ensure that we give back what she gave to the Guild and it's pride. It was the least we could do.

Vex browed, she was always the sceptic. Sometimes you need a sceptic, it's healthy, but I just had to face facts. I hated it.

"Bullshit. You're kidding." Vex blurted out, shooting up from where she was sitting.

"What the..."

I looked down at the ground with hands on my hips, unable to face any of them.

"Karliah got to her. Now...now I need to go find her body. Mercers going to find her and...he needs everyone to be on guard. She may attempt to come here. And we have permission to kill her if she does."

I almost jumped as Delvin placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Go get her Bryn. We'll keep watch. Bring her back at any cost." He told me. I nodded.

I shook hands with him and thanked the man.

"That goes for everyone. The whole cistern is lock down. Be ready for anything."

I'd left the Flagon with a heavy heart but determined to seek out Petra...and what was left her. I took most of my strength to push through. I didn't have time to pour the tears out. No. I had someone to find.

I took my black and white spotted horse, Lucky, and fled off to the north.

* * *

I still felt, deep down a twisted misgiving. Guilt. I wanted to say sorry to Petra. And that she could have done so much more. I wanted to help her, my own heart wept at the very thought of it. I paid no mind to what ever nonsense was going on around me. It was in an instant into the trip that I dwelt on everything.

I believe that why I was refusing to accept it, comes from the fact that...it's most likely given that she's Dragonborn...and despite how I'm not preordained to any type of religion. I go to no service, no alms, speak with no priest or take part in any fancy, pointless rituals. But the Gods. Why would the Gods give anything...they should have known. If they'd known she was going to die they wouldn't have given her the gift in the first place.

That's just my own two septims about it. Aye, Maybe Karliah controlled the arrows of fate and could subside anything. Okay, now I really am talking out my ass here once again. I just don't know what to do.

I could bring her body back. I could give her a traditional nord funeral and hoped Shor finds her worthy enough...no, Shor should find her worthy enough to feast in the blessed halls of Sovngarde. I'd reckon she'd enjoy that.

If you're up there Petra...I...I...I'm sorry. I wanted to take you to the Greybeards...and I wanted to take you around Skyrim. We could have gone on so many adventures. Find things that man hasn't found in centures or even in many millennia. I..

My heart just couldn't take the very thought of her not being here any more. It just kept telling me over and over that she was still alive out there somewhere. I wanted to cling onto that notion so badly, but I had to tell myself she was dead. It was a constant fight between was right, and was easier for me to handle. My own pride had taken a beating.

My throat was sore from tightness, due to the despaired crisis I was having. I thought I was pulling through fine and I would be willing to do what it took. I'd arrived there, seeing blood still fresh on the snow. Something wasn't right here and my gut knew it.

I'd gone into the Sanctum from above, seeing the door still open and entered. I'd wandered around, seeing bodies of the Draugr with arrows in their heads. I'd wager a lot of them were from Petra due to their exceedingly sharp and scary accuracy. Each of them looked to have it square between the eyes. She was always such a good shot.

Still, I had to be cautious. From what Mercer told me, Karliah was off somewhere. But she could also still be hiding elsewhere in the depths of this forsaken tomb. But I just keep seeing dead draugr everywhere I went...full of such death and destruction. By Shor if only I was here.

I'd had total faith that neither Mercer or Petra would taken down by mere Draugr. She may have underestimated the power of the Dark Elf. It made me so angry yet confused at the same time.

I'd then come across one of the word walls I'd read so much about. It felt magically strange enough.

This must have been what Petra had mentioned to me as well. The part where she had visited some ancient tomb at one point and found something in the dragon language.

For what ever reason prompted me to do so, I ran my hands on the smooth rock wall and dragged my finger tips over the carvings. If I were to take a guess, it would need her essence to allow to absorb it...somehow. I don't know. This was part of what still got me befuddled on to the whole dragonborn tripe. It would have known she'd have to come here at one stage and no way would it have been the last to seek out. I also wanted to...as silly and stupid as it seemed, just to be where she would have stood.

The Dragonborn was guided and sent out of a quite noble path and the books I had read suggested there were several of these Word Walls scattered across Skyrim. And, another guess here, is that Petra had encountered so few...surely.

The battle between my head and my heart became violent. All this made no sense to me. To just die like that...it was inconceivable and I'd refused to believe it. But I would have no idea why Mercer would lie to me about it.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed that more was going on here than a little skirmish between a Nord, a Breton and Dunmer.

I'd found the main chamber and took a deep breath.

I looked around...dark, dank. Some blood in the corner but absolutely no bodies to be found. I was certain this would have at least been the end of it. I went over to the corner where I found a trickle of blood. It must have been quite the fight. If only I'd been there I could have saved her.

I could...I could have just...ugh...why was this so hard to wrap my head around? I'd...I was such a mess.

I stood back and rubbed my eyes. Where was her body? I...

I felt lost.

I...I'd...

I had to sit down and collect my thoughts. I dragged my fingers through my hair, contemplating everything that had all rammed at me at once. The silence was almost deafening but...I heard no ghosts...no subtle breeze. Death had not taken place in this chamber...how did I know that?

Why was my heart trying to deceive me? Perhaps...I was...

As a Thief, we're most inquisitive and have to predict the actions of people. You have to know how they work or else you'll end up in prison, or worse. But right now I couldn't even read myself. My judgement was being clouded by sorrow, being a source of my muddiness. But was there something else there? Was it what Vex and Delvin and the others were getting at? Were they reading me perfectly clear without me having to say a word?

They understood me more than I understood myself. I never worried too much about myself. I was a mostly stable lad and in some ways, still am. But this drove me deep into the darkest corners of a place I'd never found myself visiting. I'd never really been THAT close to someone before, maybe that was the reason?

Petra...meant so much to me...I uhhh I mean, so much to the Guild...yeah...the Guild.

Ugh...her body wasn't here though. My heart instantly jumped on the chance and the hope she may have been still alive. Common sense was the one deceiving me and it was becoming clear that my heart may have been correct.

I clenched and unclenched my fist. Petra...are...are you alive out there? Please...I...

I don't know what I'd do without you...

I got up and took another deep breath. I'll be fine eventually. But I couldn't do much now without a body to bury. No so much as a piece of clothing or something of her to remember her by. Yet again, my heart jumped at the conclusion she could have been out there somewhere. But for now, I'd have to go back to Riften and defend the Flagon at all costs.

I just want to thank you already... please come home safe.


	22. Translation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karliah has Petra and Enthir help her with translating Gallus' journal.

 

We'd made it to Winterhold in one piece, Petra and I. She was doing better than I thought. I knew what Mercer did to people sometimes they never really come out the same, but she was just interesting to see how she coped. Though she could also be masking it very well. I don't know her enough at this point to make that kind of decision. But as long as she listens and understands and takes note of her surroundings. I think she'll be okay.

We met up with Enthir and was surprised I was still alive. Not behest of my intentions to meet him myself but I had to make do, plus I didn't think Petra would be able to going along alone. I felt inclined to take care of her and ensure nothing would happen to her. No reason why I had to. Common decency I suppose.

Enthir took one look at Gallus' journal and recognised it at the Falmer Language and that only a few people actually translate it. Typical of Gallus, he'd always been the sort to utilise the most complicated of texts just to keep a secret. He probably saw this coming. He always had this uncanny foresight that I loved. One time we were out on a job in some derelict ruin. We were on the edge of a large cavern. He'd stood behind me and made a warning for me to get back a little bit. Sweetheart was always worried about me. I'd turned away and walked off, when all of a sudden an earthquake shook the ruin and a huge boulder had hit where I was standing. I was amazed that he knew that was going to happen.

Enthir then made the suggestion of speaking with Calcelmo, a reclusive researcher and expert on the dwemer. He...may not have been greatly helpful but said Gallus had gone there previously on certain expeditions for his own research. Typical of Gallus.

I spoke with Petra with the plan to head to Markarth. She looked at me. Her eyes were still dead to the world but she was conscious at least. I needed her focused and prepared. I told her to go find out what she could and come back here with the information. I was...a little worried about what she would do on her own. I wanted to come with her but I couldn't risk being seen out in the open, with Mercer either on the hunt for something or what ever was worse. He'd do it.

She reacted at least with the instructions. While emotionally void, she took this with intent and was going to get this done. Her face was hard to read, but it was tired, like mine. I'm tired of all this myself, but I know...I just know it can be done. And I had reason to believe that Petra wanted to do the right thing. She would have had the faith in the Guild. Faith in herself and that Mercer was just a blemish in her life. In all our lives.

She'd left without a fuss, on her horse and made the long trek to Markarth. Shadows preserve her.


	23. Transcripts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra struggles to claim back wisps of her sanity, as she helps out Karliah.

I'm...I'm back friend.

Apologies for my crude behaviour. I didn't know where I was and in some ways, I still don't.

But, I'd come to trust Karliah a lot quicker than I ever...did...with...Mercer.

Uh, but yeah. Karliah didn't seem as bad as...she was made out to be. She seemed sweet, with those amethyst eyes of her. So pretty for a dunmer.

Don't know if it's me being foolish or not but just her aura was just; Welcoming. Kind. And she too wanted vengeance like me. I may not appear or maybe even feel the burn within, it was in my power and task to take care of it.

I will never forget what he did...the way...he..

Never mind. I had to keep my eyes on the prize. I was entrusted with a job like any other and be damned if I was not going to get it done! But wary I'll drop in and out at times as you can see here. I'll manage...just don't mention it too often. I'll fall into same mantra trap again if I'm not careful.

I rushed to Markarth to speak with Calcelmo. I may have helped him out once before. Just a spider issue. Big spider issue that turned out to be more interesting, I found out.

So I got into his good books after that and he gave me a key to his museum. Thanks...I guess?

I got to Markarth that night and spoke with him and he still refused me. Even if I did help him.

Oh well. I was still going to get answers irregardless. Even if I did have to...trespass...hah. It's part of the job of course!

So I went to his so called Dwemer Museum...looked around. Unlocked some room after I'd found a Stone of Barenziah. I'll have to give that to Vex...but onwards...

I'd navigated myself through parts unknown...used a wand to get a dwemer spider to kill a guard. Cool. I slithered past a lot of them, reminding myself I was still good at my job. Found an interesting Dwemer Cube as well. I'd forgotten about the boat I still had. Still maybe worth a bit to Delvin? Eh.

At the end of my sneaking I found a tablet inscribed with Falmer nonsense. I found charcoal and paper and just etched it on the paper as much as I could. I'd finished and was about to get out, when Calcelmos Nephew Aicantar brought in a few guards. He knew someone was sneaking around. Dang. Could have been when I was getting the cube. Woops. My Kleptomania was probably taking hold of me at the wrong moment.

But I made it out fine. I'd taken a thrilling shortcut...jumped down the waterfall, amazed I surivived...though I did see a skeleton there. Euch...but no matter. I had what I came for and rushed back to Winterhold as fast as I could.

I arrived back at the Tavern, with Karliah and Enthir sussing out details. I think I may have heard a sigh of relief there. Dunmer must've been worried. Seriously, just because of what happened you'd think I...would...be...

Sorry...anyway, I watched the two as I gave them the inscriptions. Enthir seemed perplexed on how I got it, but didn't ask any questions.

"It was quite the tale." I told him.

He nodded and went to work on the translations.

While he did that, I sat down quietly on a nearby barrel. We were at the bottom of the local tavern and it was just the sweet silence and darkness that we all could fit in easily. I often wondered what Brynjolf would be doing.

I don't know...what...Mer...Mer...

"Petra?"

I realised I'd been looking down and spaced out as Karliah looked at me as she stood against the wooden pole. Probably just was out of it. I'll admit I was...and still am.

"I still need you with me here." She called out.

Sometimes I just wanted to know why people bothered to care about that. I mean, I have been through a lot. That's a fact. No doubts. But Brynjolf and Karliah. They could see me underneath what ever exterior I had. Tough, sad...what ever was going on in my mind they'd snap me back to reality.

I do go off in those bits of...what ever you call it. Spacing out? I said there before. Yeah...that.

It's just that one thought lead to another and it just got all conjoined and messy and my mind clung onto the worst things it could and images would just keep flashing by that I'd fall into the darkness once more.

They'd bring me out each time and I wanted to know why. They had no real reason to do so. Brynjolf may have cared but after hearing what Mer- said...I...

I turned around, not wanting to face Karliah. I didn't want her to bare to see me and to worry about me. I was happy to wait, but I'd fall into that trap again of ugliness. And I'd feel things that weren't possible to feel. Like the ghost touch of Mercers fingers-

I scrunched my eyes. No...while they may bring me back I need to bring myself back on my own. I can't depend on them forever. They are very kind in doing so...but this was going to get harder.

I heard Enthir talk about Mer-...I heard him talking about how he'd been stealing from the Guild for months. And no body knew about this? What about Brynjolf? What...

"Anything else Enthir? Anything about...the Nightingales?" Karliah queried.

"Hmm. Yes, here it is. The last few pages seem to describe "the failure of the Nightingales" although it doesn't go into great detail. Gallus also repeatedly mentions his strong belief that Mercer desecrated something known as the Twilight Sepulcher." Enthir explained.

Karliah seemed utterly shocked and surprised by the mere mention of it. I kept hearing the word Nightingales quite enough times to notice that it obviously had significance about it. She thanked Enthir and turned to me.

I questioned what this all meant, but the only thing she cold mention was the Daedric Prince Nocturnal and her influence to the Twilight Sepulcher. It made no real sense to me, but she'd assured me that I'd understand in future and at this stage she was sworn to secrecy about it.

I sighed and left it at that. As long as I'd figure out what was going on, I'd feel better about...decimating...you know...

Enthir talked with me as well, and lent his services as a fence. That was thanks enough for helping us out. But it was good to have someone else on board.

So we were about to leave when Karliah presented me with a blade. I'd looked it. It shone like silver and a bird like symbol and felt like a weapon true to the night.

"It belonged to Gallus, but given the circumstances I think he'd approve."

"I'll put it to good use." I mentioned, though puzzled as to why she gave it to me.

I think Karliah trusted me a lot more after that. The only one besides Enthir of course, she could trust. I'd wager what ever went on before I arrived at the Guild had been quite severe.

The whole saga, while fascinating, was very disturbing as well. I know...I know at some stage we'd have to face him...and I didn't know if I could.

We made the trail back to Riften.

Thanks Karliah, for believing in me.


	24. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Petra and Karliah return to face the Guild, old horrors come back to test Petra's willpower.

 

We'd made it back safe and sound, though I could detect a air of hostility all around me. Or maybe it was just aimed at Karliah. I'd keep forgetting that everyone still hated her at the moment. Woops. But yeah, she deserved a lot more than this and I'd stick by her. I was still in her debt for her saving my life. Somewhat. Didn't know it had to be saved but otherwise...

I'd wager the Guild itself would have been informed that Karliah had gotten away. M- would have told everybody she'd gone rampant and at least tried to kill everyone. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The Dunmer was not even remotely like she was in...the descriptions. She was just playing a hard game that had been done for decades and I prayed that it was near it's end. I was envious of her confidence and ability to believe.

Guards were more cautious if anything, eying us off. I watched Karliah stride with security in her spirit. I wish I could aspire to brave like her. The world hated her and still she pulled through and got the results...well, sort of got the results she wanted. I admire her tenacity.

She was in a relationship with Gallus prior to his death, as I discovered. She partially blamed herself for it, as being with her allowed him to let his guard down. No. M...Me... uh Gallus sounded like a good person if anything else. Smart, talented...he was the previous Guild Master after all and you don't get to that position lightly without having some accountable amount of experience and the best stories to match.

I also understood that she had her secrets. We all did. As long as they weren't going to hurt anyone of course. But she did say that it would be revealed so I took comfort, what ever there was, in that. So I never pushed the subject to her.

We'd walked to go to the stairs to get down the canal when, a sound, distant but distinct, couldn't have arrived at the worst possible moment.

Why now...seriously. NO MORE DRAGONS IN THE RIFT.

Karliah stopped in her tracks as she heard it as well. I looked at her as she honed her ears in on it. The Guards around us started to question the noise too. I wanted to move but couldn't.

"Can you hear that?" She asked me.

I'd forgotten she didn't know about my Phobia. So here I was about to be catatonic and absolutely worthless yet again...

I tried to be responsible for my actions this time. The roars got louder.

"Karliah, get me out of here." I muttered to her.

"Why?" She wondered.

Could she not see the fear in my face and utter contempt?

"Because...I don't like what comes next. Please get me out of here."

She looked down, confused.

"A Dragon is nearby. I need to take it down. Can't risk Riften burning down. Are you not able to walk yourself down to the Ratway?"

**No.**

I'd given her a look to just spell it out to her. She interpreted it well with a nod, when the Dragon just dropped in out of nowhere and decided to plant itself on top of the Orphanage.

_Great..._

I gulped. I instantly froze. Too late now. Karliah was forced to drag me elsewhere. I got a glimpse of the beast. Green one. Ugly as a skeever. I hated it. She ran off with me to help me hide somewhere.

Fair enough. I'm glad she got the picture eventually.

She took me to the secret entrance to the cistern, but it had been locked. Yup. Had a feeling that'd happen. She wandered around with me and as much as I didn't want her to just deal with this on her own. But there was nothing I could do. And I absolutely hated that too. Loathed it.

She eventually took me down into the Hall of the Dead, the closest thing that was considered safe, despite being amongst dead bodies. No matter. She nodded to me and ordered me to stay here, which I took gladly. I'd want to compare myself in time to make sure I learn from previous mistakes. Though she'd left me there to take the dragon on, while I selfishly sat here against the wall and my knees close to my chest. I tried so hard to ignore it, but the shouts of the dragon were loud enough to pierce through and send a tendril of anguish into my core. I buried my head between my knees and started to shake. I prayed to what ever God was going to listen to me. Arkay, since I was here in the hall...or Mara from above...maybe Akatosh.

I'd rather curse him for what ever stupid idea he had in his head to make me Dragonborn. This was pathetic. I was being pathetic and I was a massive coward. Horrendous. The Gods played their tricks more so that Daedric Princes did. But, at least the Princes were up front about it. The Gods barely played their roles throughout our mortal lives.

I'd been paranoid about this for months but my head would just spin, I'd feel faint, my heart would triple it's beating and have hot and cold flushes. I could barely breath. Out comes the stupid phobia of mine. The more I thought about it, the more I hated myself for not at least trying to deal with it. I'd talk and state that perhaps one day I would be better than I what I am because I am better than this. Feeling sick all the time wasn't going to cut it. I wasn't going to let the world end on my watch.

I continued to tremble and shudder, twitching every single time I heard screams from above. The smell of burnt wood came from above as well. No...please no... I held my head and muttered to myself over and over again for it stop. Oh Gods please stop...stop. Stop...STOP!

I took a deep breath. They won't be able to take care of the dragon permanently, nor were any one of them aware of what it could do. What it could truly do. The very images burned into my memories and lingered there to taunt me to this very day.

I was in constant agony and in rage towards myself. I'd been buried here while I could be out there doing what I was supposed to. I was safe here...so safe...I would be fine until I'd met the urns of the dead from above eventually.

I'd been crying for the past several minutes. The tears never stopped falling. I...I can't help it. This is just making me sick and twisted and in constant pain of knowing. The entire conflict was my own self control verses natural reactions. I had to fight myself to fight the dragons. And the entirety of the battles were always on the verge of just pure fury.

I needed that fury, when I saved Brynjolf from a dragon previously. I'd gotten the nerve to destroy it, to stab it repeatedly when I saw he was in danger. I may have needed the inspiration and the calling of my blood to defeat it. It forced me to put everything aside for Bryn's sake and make sure that the beast was just gone. I had to redirect my fear into total hatred that I could use. Or some kind of other feeling that compelled me to slay it. I needed it once again. Badly.

I still couldn't move and I was trying every angle to force me to go up there. I didn't want to, believe me, but I had to get over that if anything was gonna happen. More screams...more pain...more tears.

Come on Petra! Get into it... _seek_  it...you know you can.

Another breath taken. Good. I slowly but surely, crawled towards the door. It took everything I had to even open it. I whimpered but...I could look at this at a different perspective. It was an idea I'd wrap my head around but for now...I had to get out of this dark place of death and into the inferno...

By the time I crawled up the steps, I could see the Riften in its own hellish oblivion. The screams...were just...were just like...Helgen...

Helgen. Again.

No.

Not that dredge, that piece of horrifying sulfur and brimstone. GET IT AWAY!

I still had my bow and the Nightingale blade that Karliah gave me. I watched the dragon and instantly halted as it flew by, shaking the earth below me. The heat, the air, the suffocation. I stood there, frozen to the world as it watched it fall around me.

There was a wall of magical and terrifying flames, arrows flying around me, bodies burning to a crisp. I held myself with my eyes wide and heart torn. I wallowed in this rushed up grave and pile of ashes. I...I just needed to come to terms.

I was in great pain as I fell to the ground. No...I've made a terrible mistake and I...

I saw Karliah aiming high, a fierce expression on her face and power undeniable in the midst of the inflamed chaos. Her arrows, straight and true. I had to have that. That structure, that form, that stance...it was perfect and in the face of uncertain odds.

If I could achieve that...what I could do with it...

The Dragon itself was more problematic. Every shout and roar gave me flushes and chills. If only...I could...

It flew back down, shouting flames at the dunmer who fled behind the wall with such grace and poise.

I had to stop living in the process of could and telling myself that not only I should but that I will. I got up on my feet and took one step forward...

The well of emotions inside me were in constant flux but I made certain my eyes focused on the dragon itself. It stomped, sending waves through the ground while whacking guards with it's tail. I stopped, desperately wanting to go back to the hall. I didn't want anyone else down there. Not today.

A struggle for the dominant and superior emotive state was at war. Still at war. Forever fighting to seek reason and discover the means to combat a sickness. Yes. I treated it as a sickness. It wasn't normal for someone like me to be frightened of the creature. No...

They should be scared of me. I should be in their nightmares and I should be the one filling their cold, merciless hearts with so much dread that they fled at the very sight of me. I consumed their souls. I feed on their essence. That's who I am. That's who I should be. Not this pitiful excuse for a Nord. No.

Yet I shuddered at their mere mention. Why was this an issue? Because the World-Eater brought the pain that fateful day. The might of god like product of himself. His spirit and being written in the legends to consume the world.

He'd stare at me, my head on the chopping block. I'd die...either way.

My eyes widened.

No...I would have died.

Fate declared that day I wasn't to perish. I'd been wronged and horridly misunderstood that day. Captured without warning or mercy. The mortals around me, held that power that most would be afraid of. But not...

The sky was on fire, as the flame poured down from above, burning everything it touched.  
This was Riften. My town. My people. People I got to know.

But my head wasn't on the chopping block. Death was not welcoming me this day. I wasn't being punished but I was being tested. This Dragon...is but a mere obstacle. And while you may consider me a terrible person for thinking that while everyone else dies around me...like at Helgen but now...I know. I know this is the time to start pushing myself up the ground.

I stepped forward again.

My life has been full of pain. All of it. Skyrim has brought me that. But it also brought me...

kindness...

And I care about these people. The people that took me in. Brynjolf...

I weeped for them. I weeped for everyone in this forsaken path. No one deserved it. And everyone was burning because of me. I brought this on to each of them. I...I...

Brynjolf couldn't have seen it. He should have left me alone and I would have left Riften eventually. But no, I was brought in like a homeless child and fed and taken care of. No way was I in any position to accept that. I was just a thoughtless and I still am a thoughtless person. I mean, look at me, standing there...zoning out and listening into the soulless beats of my own heart.

The guards were still battling it out as the creature expanded its wings and started soaring about again. It was...

Then I saw Brynjolf, out of nowhere, clad in his armour and bow and aiming to strike the beast down with all his might. He joined in the losing battle and the crumbling number of archers still determined to defeat it.

Why they were continuing to fight a losing battle was beyond me. They mustered themselves but still were failing and dying pointlessly. This was not theirs to fight. It was not theirs to take of. It's my duty. And my duty alone...

Yet they were strong spiritually and the decline of arrows did nothing to crush them down personally. The world still burned and yet,

I wanted to step back but needed to step forward. Get it in your head Petra, that your help is crucial to win this. This was a fight that had to be won for the lives of everyone. And this was my burden to bare.

Every shirk, every shout, every scream, every roar...just drowned me in a whirlpool of shame, disgust and despair. I must be repeating myself now, but how am I ever gonna get the idea in my head? What has to be done in order for me to finally start doing something about it? I...I don't know...I can't. I can't do this...no. I have to.

_**GET UP!** _

I took another step forward. I bit down on my lip so hard I tasted the iron in my blood. Physical pain felt so much better...my stomach twisted hard enough that I wanted to vomit.

Why wasn't I...

WHAT DO I HAVE TO  _DO_? WHAT WASN'T THIS WORKING? SOMEONE TELL ME...?  _ANYBODY_?

I'm...a lost cause. I fell back down to my knees and whimpered. I wanted to let the oncoming flames overtake me so I wouldn't have to be burden on anyone anymore. I could sell my soul to stop this from happening anymore. Just...anything would better than this waste of flesh.

I continued to watch Brynjolf fight it out. The beast was on the ground again, with Bryn barely avoiding it's fire. Karliah wasn't far behind, almost running out of arrows. Then...

the world just slowed down for a moment. The Dragon opened it's mouth and grabbed Bryn by his torso and chomped down hard.

No...

Please Gods no...

He threw Bryn around like a rag doll as he flew up and threw him over the walls like as he was nothing, and was punted in the direction of Lake Honrich.

No. THIS WASN'T  _ **FAIR**_! THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

I could have broken down...I could have just fallen to ground yet again and went into a fetal position to let me be burned alongside everyone else. At least I wouldn't be alone again. But...

It was  _then..._

Something boiled inside of me.

Something...powerful that it burnt through my veins. I stopped shaking and became deathly still.

An efficacious strength overpowered me. I could suddenly stand. My vision blurred as I subconsciously brought forth my bow of dwemer origin. I walked slowly at first and and I drew an arrow. In a swift motion without fault, I aimed my bow at the dragon and fired at it's head without as much a second thought.

It immediately spun around and gave it's vengeful and venomous glare. I paid no mind to anything else but the pure, unadulterated detestation to the abomination before me. My heart beat slowed down to a steady pace, but the energy in the air rose up dramatically as heated as hellfire. I focused only on it and it on me. Perfect.

It dove at me but I rolled out of the way. I must have fired so many arrows in such quick succession that it's body was riddled by the rest of my arrows before it was forced to finallly come to ground.

I dropped my bow and brought out the blade. I charged and shrieked, shouting  _Yol_  in it's very face, watching the dragons muck burn in the wake of my sting. I slashed and I did not stop.

Slash, slash, slash, slash, slash...indeed the purity of my emotions took hold of me and nothing could stop my incredible urges to dominate and destroy.

Blood spewed everywhere and in my swift, harsh motions, I twirled and gave it all the muscle I could gather and finally, I rose my blade into the air, the end of it facing downwards and drove it's deadly point deep into it's skull, creating a burst crimson rain as I screamed.

" **DIE!"**

My body was filled with such an inflamed passion, my eyes searing with such the rage I was having. I took my blade out and panted as my heart started beating fast. I was so lost in my rage that I'd almost forgotten about Brynjolf. I dropped my blade as I ran to the door near the Blacksmiths in great haste and worry and disregarded the dragons soul as it streamed to me. No one encouraged me to stop.

* * *

I looked everywhere around the docks for Bryn, but he was nowhere to be seen. My heart fell as I found debris floating in the water. Dear Gods no.

I made no hesitation as I took a deep breath and dived into water itself and swam around, desperate to find him. I paid no mind to everything else around me, my mind on one track and determined to find the man where ever he was and Gods forbid me do otherwise. I wasn't letting this go so easily... I eventually found him nearby, sinking towards the bottom with a piece of heavy rock dragging him down. I pulled the rock off with all my might and grabbed Brynjolf by the helm of his armor. His eyes were closed and blood was seeping everywhere. Shit.

I took us to the surface and held him close, swimming towards shore. I dragged him nearby and put him on his back. I put my ear to his mouth. My spirit plunged as I heard nothing. I gave him mouth to mouth, forcing air back into his lungs. I listened to his chest. No heartbeat either.

No. Please Bryn...

He was gravely wounded as well. I dreaded what would happen. I couldn't lose him. Don't die on me you idiot! I panted, voice squeaking under the weight of desperation and sorrow.

I started crying again as I gave him chest compressions. I did this repeatedly to no avail. My world had gone silent once more but I never gave up on him. I kept doing it not until I saw something...anything. It had to work.

We were soaking wet in the cold harshness the land offered. Both of us were stained with blood. His face seemed so calm, so peaceful. His eyes, you could swear he was just resting. He better hope to Talos he just was! He couldn't...no...

Bryn please...just...don't do this to me! I don't want you to go anywhere...I want you here by my side. We'll go on adventures together I swear it...I...

I can't do this without you...I have so much to say...and I want you to hear all of it. I want you to hear everything please just...open your damn eyes you fool!

This was just...so...ugh. Gods please...this man...means everything to me. You take him away from me...why? Because I was too afraid to stand up? Is this your means of punishment? Test me..send me a thousand dragons if you must just don't let Bryn go! I rain my hands through his thick, red wet hair to stare at that rugged face. So peaceful...

_Please..._

_Wake up...wake up...wake up...WAKE UP...WAKE UP... **WAKE UUUUUUUUP!**_

I cried into his chest, whimpered and filled with nothing but sorrow and anger. I started shaking again. The world and it's crueltly, it's carelessness and unconcerned with the powers that be that manipulated it. I cried at the heavens, shouting the sky in all my frustration, then continued to whimper, after having exhausted myself, almost losing my voice in the process.

I got up...and started again. I kept going and going. I couldn't just give up here.

I collapsed again but got right back at it. Breath...compress...just...don't stop.

My world was becoming darker and I would never forgive it. My only source of inspiration was slipping away from me. I had to reap him back here. He wasn't going anywhere...

Just please. Talos..

_Please?_

I sat in silence briefly, contemplating my vengeance. Such...contempt, power and structure within me and I hardly used it. Was this how as it was going to be? The way this world ended because I sat there and was too afraid to just do something. Petra you...

I kept going regardless...kept trying over and over...

I was about to breath into his mouth again, when I saw a pair of eyes opening...they battered several times, before he started to choke and spit water from his mouth. He sat up too quickly and winced and brought his hand around to his side to hold the pain. He inhaled deeply in quick laboured intervals.

Gods...I...I just looked on in awe.

I sat beside him, on my knees with my hands snapping to sit in my lap. with the biggest smile on my face. We were dirty, messy and drenched but...the look on his face as he looked at me just...something only the divines could forge.

It must have been the only time I'd seen him cry as his eyes welled up, a tear trailed down his cheek.

"Petra..." He croaked. My heart skipped a beat.

He took his other hand to pull a strand of hair behind my eye, then cradled his hand on my chin, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I put my own hand on his...trying to make sure what I was feeling was real.

I then tackled him to the ground, much to his surprise. (and mine) and rested my head on his cheek and let the tears flow. I felt him relax around me and pulled me on top of him. He held me in his arms as I cried into his neck.

We may have been broken and bloody but this...we both felt warm and the strange emotion that filled out my body. I swallowed hard, my heartbeat would not go back to normal.

I was realising my tears were not of sadness but of pure happiness...which I hadn't felt in ages.

And amongst the strain of his wound, which Bryn braved through and I was being careless about it, his face was more lit up than the sun itself. We were so...elated to see each other like we hadn't seen in each other in forever.

We looked at each other and I touched his ragged face, feeling his beard and accompanying stubble. I repeatedly, just for some reason kept staring at his lips then back to his eyes. They appeared inviting.

"Bryn...I..." I muttered out, voice shaken. I honestly didn't know what to say but obviously wanted to say it anyway.

He placed his thumb on my lips, which put butterflies in my stomach.

"Shh...it's okay. I'm here now."

I'd never grinned so hard in my life. The man before me made me question and forced me to take action. I couldn't stand to see him hurt and refused to let him get put down by something that was my responsibility.

"And Petra?" He murmured to me. The voice...the one that I heard when we we hugging in the cistern. That same, enticed whisper that made my knees go weak at the very sound of it.

"Mmmm?" I mumbled back, lost in his humble face. I didn't really care what he'd be saying. I just wanted to hear him speak.

" _I..._ "

"PETRA!"

I shook out of it as I heard Karliah's voice. She'd found us, embarrassingly intermingled there on the edge of the lake. I got off him as Karliah came running over. I got up as she hugged me, much to my surprise. And not to mention it was becoming incredibly awkward because of that.

"When I saw you run at the dragon, I thought you'd gone...mental, I mean, in the sense that you..."

I smiled and shook my head. I hugged her back. No need to worry about me.

"I'm...fine now thanks. But I think Brynjolf is the one who needs to be taken care of."

The man stumbled as he tried to stand. He shuffled over with his hand covering his wound.

I rolled my eyes as I went over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to keep him from falling over. It was my turn to help him. He'd do so much for me that I would forever be in his debt. And I'm...so happy he's alive. Sore of course but that's nothing that can't be fixed!

"Aye lass...ugh...just need to a patch up and I'll be fine." He told us with a forced smile on his face. He wasn't fooling me with that wound. Karliah joined in and went to his other side. Brynjolf had no idea who Karliah was, he could have suspected but otherwise didn't have the strength to care at this stage.

We took him back to the Cistern and made sure he was done alright. Our prides wounded and bodies scarred.

But thank the Gods he was still alive.


	25. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Brynjolf fights his mind before he fights reality, he begins to accept a part of himself that he had suspected had been there for a while.

 

I'd never felt so...numb before this. But I knew it wasn't true...my heart grew when I saw the lasses face. A weight was then taken off my shoulders.

I wouldn't have managed without knowing and I would have to bore the guilt as I did.

But now...I realise.

After I'd returned back from the Sanctum earlier, questions poked at my head for hours for reasons, for knowledge, the hunger for answers. Nothing added up. I'd known Mercer too long and didn't know why he would lie to me. I'd turned into Petra briefly, as in, the quality alone time to constantly think and suss out my own thoughts during that minor interval. While I tried to find out the purpose of it all, I started to accept what I'd felt about her.

It wasn't seen as possible at first. She was originally just gonna be someone as a means to an end. But when you first look into those light blue eyes you see a story straight away that just pulls you in. But the story was in another language and it was just you trying to make sense of it.

The intention may have been that odd peculiar jolt, like lightning that I misinterpreted as something I could use. No, it'd been something that I wanted, and needed instantaneously. I wouldn't have believed it. I may have been slightly influenced by the Temple of Mara by just a tad.

Probably didn't have a real explanation. Maybe fate if you want an excuse.

I dwelt upon this for hours. Then when I'd heard someone mention of a dragon attack on the surface, it shocked everyone at the Flagon. A Dragon, couldn't be. But we all knew this was going to happen. We're all Thieves, sneaks and cheats aye, but you know some of us could fight. I just couldn't ignore it, you know. I couldn't get her out of my head and this type of talk got the thought trailing and rolling as fast as it could and it was just agony and wrenching. I was going to fight for Petra...fight for her spirit. I had to get up and do something. The others didn't want me to. We had more things to care about. To ensure the Flagon was safe from Karliah. But was worse, her or a dragon that would burn down the walls around us. We'd lose our very shield to our world.

I didn't know what I was truly thinking. I'd lost my mind if you could call it that. Months ago you'd never hear of this stuff as much. Dragons attacking cities became the norm and it'd only be a matter time until Riften had it's turn. The guards could do their jobs, trained in archery just in case. But there was only so much you could do against a beast like that. Ensure that it wouldn't mess with our people. I'd gone out of the flagon and on the surface.

I took the thing head on knowing that I wasn't going to win. But I had to at least try. Try and push the thing back to let it know that it couldn't mess with Riften. Our Riften. I wanted to keep the pressure on it and bring back the force. No Dragons in Riften. And I was going to force it that way.

Aye and I was gonna make that happen. I was gonna enforce with all I had. Even with Riften in flames, that can be repaired. But you can't replace the bodies that built it. You can't just, rebuild everything and expect it to be the same as before. You know it was going to change...for better or worse.

And be damned if I didn't try. I'd fought one prior and dodged and weaved as much as I could manage. This creature...it's intensity didn't let up and I'd obviously didn't try hard enough to surpass it. My heart wasn't full and I'd given in as the dragon took hold me of and the next thing I knew was darkness becoming my best friend.

I was cold but I lingered there in the moment of silence that enshrouded me, that caught me and kept me close. I'd be content there if I wanted to see Petra again, where ever she was.

And...I prayed. In the darkness I prayed...I just wanted to see her face one last time because...

Because damnit I loved that lass.

I _loved_  her...

I feel relieved to admit it as it had been a sharp blade to my gut and the wound just wouldn't heal on it's own. Or was it actually just talking to me. Saying that I could admire her face and her smile when she revealed it. That the very soul of the girl spoke volumes and warmed me all over. I've been with women, many women in my time, aye. Though the whirlpool of emotional turmoil coalesced inside of me, stirring me to impossible heights. No woman ever made me feel like that before.

But...I was dying. She was gone. There was no way of knowing of what I could have done.

It wasn't supposed to happen but it did. Even if we were...she had her own strength in combat and it was damn right impressive. She'd take down the creature with that temper of hers, that dragon spirit she was born with and the blessing of the Gods themselves. They'd given Tamriel a piece of themselves. Why would they let her die? Still, when her body wasn't at the Sanctum like Mercer had mentioned, part of me instantly clung on to the idea she crawled away to safety but to where she went I couldn't foresee. That my pessimistic side told me she passed from losing a lot of blood, with the image of the blood splatters on the ground suddenly making sense somehow.

She may have been strong but her being was fragile and I had to be extremely careful around her. Like I always have.

Oh.. _Petra._..

You'd never take a fool like me...you hug me like a lost daughter and I take care of you like a father. But now I could never see where our lives could take us. I'm just stuck here, forever roaming in the dark. Hah look at me. I'm a big softie after all. Though I'm only soft around you. Because I felt I could without fear of it. I'd been open with you, letting you. I'd invited you the first day we met. We're both hard on the outside but such a tender, messy pile of crap on the inside. And we liked it. You may not have but you opened your heart to me and I liked what I saw. It was just something that built as well...I guess.

The Darkness had separated us and I would not be allowed to see you again. I would never be okay with that.

I had let my heart decide it because I'd felt somewhere that enough of it could possibly, as stupid and insane as it sounded, would bring me back to her. That she was the best of us and while she sheltered for her true calling in life, she was the best we had besides Mercer. Part of me just wanted to see that bitch die for what she did...

* * *

But then...I'd heard her voice calling to me. Originally I thought that my desires were coming true, then I heard the sobbing and the whimpers that followed. I felt cold, wet and sore as waves once washed over me. The latter wouldn't have occurred if I was truly dead. I felt my skin prickle and pop out goosebumps. The heavens...or where ever I assumed I was, hadn't taken me just yet. Could have been in some unpleasant realm of Oblivion for all I knew.

I clung onto that soft, quivering voice that I knew so well and came to appreciate more than I should have. And when I saw those eyes close to mine...it was strange that part of me thought I was in Sovngarde...which would have been unlikely, I'm not exactly noble in the sense of where Nords of my like welcomed...but maybe they were impressed with my valour with dragon and granted me redemption in death.

But it was all real. I knew that rugged scent in the air as it filled my lungs, that moist composition and the earth at my back. I spat...not a romanticised image. I was alive at least...that would have been my least concern.

And the girl I loved sitting before me, drenched from head to toe.

Mind could have been playing tricks. I could have been desperate enough to see what I wanted to see but. It was legitimate. All of it. I knew it had to be real. She was alive. And she'd just saved my life to boot.

My heart was at ease. She'd jumped on me and let it all out. But it wasn't sadness in her tears but the joy and love that was in every drop. It warmed my spirit to see her so happy to see me that it was just too...cute not to stare at it. She was so...beautiful that I no longer cared about anything else.

I had to tell her. Just to let her know that she was loved. If it'd make her happy.

Then...some dunmer interrupted my confession. Oh well, there'd be another time.

* * *

I wasn't entirely sure who it was. But they'd picked me up onto my two feet as I was pretty heavy. Quite the sight, if you were to see it. Two lasses, carrying my big lug around. Amusing thought, but I'm satisfied. They'd taken me back down to the Flagon, to which the others reopened the secret entrance by the Temples. They'd laid me down on Petras bed, which was, with out a doubt, the most comfortable and soft bed. Pity I was getting it wet and bloody. No one seemed to care though. It hurt to breath at times. The Dragon had got me good. The Dunmer assisted Petra as, to the awkward phase I was having, taken off my armor and healed me well, stitching me up nice.

According to the young lass, the wound looked quite deep, but the dunmer applied several ointments and potions to make sure it didn't get infected. I'd never seen the woman before. I didn't resist, laying there and let the lovely ladies do their work. I didn't think Petra was the healer type herself. While I laid there, barely conscious, wet and exhausted, I listened to their conversations. I tried to resist smirking as the dunmer directed Petra and taught her how to do it. Petra got frustrated, but the darker lass was happy to assist her. I didn't know why Petra was bothering with it if she didn't know how to do it. Perhaps she was still eager to prove herself useful.

She could try too hard at times. No one would expect her to do absolutely everything. But she insisted...

I fell asleep after that, made it easier for the girls for work on me without twitching so much. This was the sleep I enjoyed. I was getting warmer as I dried and often felt someone on the odd occasion touch my head. I wasn't in a particular deep sleep, as I heard more voices clattering about. It must have been Vex and Delvin, probing questions and the like.

"That's insane! We told him not to go up there and what does the fool do? Goes up there and gets his ass kicked by a dragon! By the Gods how could he not see that happening?" Vex berated.

True. I'd probably fallen into such despair that death would have been more welcoming. Dramatic and silly as that sounded. But I was still capable of fighting.

"He was in such deep melancholy, saddened that his darling Petra had died." Delvin noted, proving my point. Such extreme emotions can make you do that.

"I'm alive you know. The dragons dead to prove it." Petra pointed out.

Good on ya lass.

"Yes you killed a dragon. But Mercer said..."

I heard Petra stop and adjust herself. I couldn't see her but I sensed great ire in her.

"Do not mention that name..." She said, her words so icy and covered with frost.

"What? He went out after Karliah killed you and..." Delvin started before stopping.

Wait...who was that dunmer?

I wanted to move but I was paralysed, probably from the lasses ointments. Clever and despicable bitch. I heard swords unsheathe. Those two better be careful. And Petra...no..

"Wait!" Petra called out

What's this?

More shuffling.

"Please, lower your weapons. I have proof you've all been mislead. When Brynjolf awakens, I will give you the only piece of evidence you need that this entire time you've been following a scoundrel."

Mercer? Well, he was a scoundrel, part of his work really.

"Yeah yeah witch. We're not gonna fall for that." Vex said, with that very imbued abrasive tone.

"She's...telling the truth." Petra said sadly.

"Just...wait...we'll come to an understanding in a moment, I plea to you all to be patient. But Brynjolf really needs to hear this. Just let him rest, and do not attack Karliah or..."

Tension was thick in the air from the sounds of it.

"Or else what? Seriously Petra, what has Karliah done to get into that head of yours?" Vex chastised. I was eager to wake up but..

" **NOTHING!** " Petra shouted. It was almost enough to make the whole cistern quake underneath her.

"You have NO idea what is going on! If you refuse to just wait, then you're proving yourself incredibly stupid to get in MY way."

Oh  _no_...a skirmish between the best gals in the guild. A few people would like to see that but no...now wasn't the time.

"Vex, do as she says..." Delvin warned. It was obvious he didn't want either of them hurting each other. Not right now. I didn't want either of them spilling anything. Vex's impatience got on everyones nerves sometimes. Delvin loved her enough to give her enough patience and gave him the bravery to end up copping the full front of her assaults. Poor guy, so persistent.

I imagined Petra giving Vex this striking death stare, her face still and motionless and could possibly just jump out at any moment. She'd faced down worse. Much worse.

"Fine, we'll do it your way...for now..." Vex said, regrettably. I'd sunk down the passage of relief.

"I suggest we just wait until we hear the whole story, o'right?" Delvin told her.

I heard hard and fast footsteps walk out into the Flagon. Poor Vex...I hardly understood what was going on myself. But I didn't doubt Petra had a good reason to defend Karliah's actions. It became quiet, and then I'd fallen into a deeper sleep.

* * *

Mercer had this...persuasive and vigorous story that filled the entire guild with homicial tendencies to maim Karliah after she'd murdered Gallus. He had his way with words and was not shy about being tough about it. Had Petra seen something? Heard something? I wanted to know the truth but I had to lay there to gather my strength. He'd told us so many tales of his adventures and the main was his simple, destructive resentment of Karliah and would slander her name everywhere. Everyone had this subconscious view of her, simply because the way he described the events.

What I wanted to know, was how Petra survived. Did Karliah save her? Was that why she defended the murderer? When I saw her I failed to sense the revolting personality that Mercer mentioned. Either that, or she was just a great actor. She'd been on the run this long. Why would it be any different? But she did walk into the cistern, a place filled with hostility and loyalty to their Guild Master. She was either stupid, or had no fear. I was inclined to believe the latter. She was out to prove everything after all and was going to wait for me to awaken and reveal the situation properly. She had enough honor for that. Definitely not like what Mercer described.

I'll let it slide for Petra's sake. And Mercer said she'd killed her. So many assumptions floated in my head that I just wanted to get back up and get it sorted as soon as possible. I'd ask questions later.

Though I mellowed in the darkness of my dreams, in time my eyes struggled to reopen. I could feel something heavy on my bare chest as well as a slight chill.

Though that disappeared when my face burnt up at the sight of Petra sitting down and resting her head on my chest, ear to where the heart would be. Poor lass. She just wanted to make sure I was still alive and kicking. It was sweet of her and it was, I don't know if you see it as creepy, but to see her sleeping was...cute? The softness of her face and the tiny smile...she didn't want me anywhere and I didn't dare wake her. She was in peace and content, despite that argument with Vex earlier.

Part of me wanted her to lay next to me so we could properly embrace one another. I felt special and was honoured to part of that to which made her happy. Which made me fear our friendship more if I decided to tell her how I felt and wondered if she felt the same way. I didn't want to make it too complicated between us.

She may have been giving mixed messages or she may have been just really comfortable around me. Either way, she was taking care of me now.

Thank the Gods for that nice bit of irony.


	26. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra finally tells Brynjolf about what happened, then finds out something disturbing from Vex of all people.

 

The entire Cistern was thick with tension. No one knew what was going on and by the time Brynjolf recovered, the rest of the guild huddled around, while Bryn, Karliah, Vex, Delvin and me stood in the middle of the cistern, trying suss it all out. You know, like reasonable beings?

They figured out who Karliah was and out right bled their hatreds against her with hardly saying a word, since speaking would end up turning the cistern into a bloodbath (Don't ask me how, it's just how it appeared) She was brave enough to stand against a world that wanted to dismember her, while she used the power of her spirit to sort things out. She wasn't anxious, as she knew she had full blown proof that would clear her name.

Even so, with her saving my life I can support her with out a doubt, that everything that was known about her was absolutely incorrect. Besides the fact she was a thief, a dunmer and was in a relationship with Gallus. She held confidence and schemed for twenty-five years without giving up. She could trust me definitely. I'd be running around for nearly a year now. I don't even compare to the feats she's accomplished and she's had it way worse than I.

"So what's the proof you have Karliah, or I'll cut you down where you stand." Brynjolf said cooly.

It frightened me slightly to even hear him say that. I guess he wasn't sure what to believe. Either that, or he was acting as front for the others. It could be him, just bringing out his frustrations over the enduring of pain he'd just gone through. No...Karliah saved him. Surely he wasn't that ungrateful. Karliah, without pause, gave Brynjolf Gallus' translated journal and the look on his face when he was reading was astounding. His eyes had gone wide, he began to subconsciously shake his head...he honestly couldn't believe what he was reading.

"No...no...I've known Mercer too long." He muttered with such disbelief in his voice. I believed everything about it though. If Brynjolf wanted more proof, he only need to look at me. But the way he'd just become stiff like that, his face twisted was something I badly wanted to fix...to help him.

"It's all true. Every word of it." Karliah stated. Her tone of sureness. I wanted some of that.

* * *

They began to talk about Mercer's little secret. How he'd been stealing from the Guild for years.

I looked at Vex who suddenly went pale and appeared very ill. She knew something. She knew all this time. I don't know what it is but I'm determined to find.

I held myself while giving her a brazing glare. She caught me and exchanged the same glance.

She knew. But...

Brynjolf got up to the part where Mercer apparently been stealing from the Vault for years. To my knowledge and what Delvin and Vex explained, was that they'd commissioned the best locks money could by. It required two keys. Mercer, Delvin and Brynjolf all one but it just needed two to enter.

"He didn't need to pick the lock." Karliah mentioned.

Delvin had no idea what she was going on about. They tested this theory on the Vault locks themselves. Delv went first, but the Vault was still locked up tight as a drum in his theory.

Brynjolf went next and put his key in then pushed opened the door. He wandered inside.

"It's all gone. Quick! Everyone in here!" Brynjolf announced with shock.

We all went in...all the gold...jewels and what ever other treasure was contained within had disappeared. All there was, were empty chests and a lot of steamed up thieves.

"That bastard! I'll kill him!" Vex cried, brandishing her dagger.

Again, Delvin ushered her to calm down. Often the only one who could.

Brynjolf looked at the rest of us with stern eyes. I could see the anger and fury within but he contained himself well enough. He particularly looked at Karliah and looked down, to his shame.

Mercer had manipulated them all. But Brynjolf took it the hardest.

He ordered the rest to continue to protect the Flagon, but with a new reason. By this time, our shouting had been so loud the whole Cistern joined in, sharing the same type of anger towards their Guild Master. We'd been robbed...irony this time, stung us hard.

But Bryn stood inside the Vault and tried to figure out what to do. Karliah and I stood with him as we worked out our next move.

"I'm sorry we don't have time for quick apologies now Karliah but we'll make amends once we find Mercer." Brynjolf told her, then looked at me.

I think...he knew. He wanted to know what happened before hand. It was obvious now that he suspected something had occurred at the Sanctum. But I'd never seen him so pissed off before. It was written in his rugged face but he was well about it, transfiguring it into a more practical resource.

"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

Karliah shook her head.

"No. He'd left the Sanctum after..."

All eyes were now looking at me. I kept my wits about me and faked my own confidence. But I wouldn't be able to hold the truth for long anyway. But now his eyes were pleading with me.

I know he once had total, blind faith in Mercer. Always had. Always was his loyal lapdog. He wanted Karliah dead but then again he wanted to see what my opinion was on the matter. The Journal or the Vault was not proof enough for him.

I didn't blame him. The whole ordeal seemed like nonsense. He could think that Karliah was still tricking them, forging the journal and with what ever dunmer magic she conjured to steal away from the Guilds' precious treasury.

Karliah knew as well, having a sad look on her face. She wanted me to tell Bryn, sensing the awkward prominence we were facing.

It's still too painful to speak of. And I'd worry what Bryn would do if I did tell him. Would he go out of his mind? Would he just go silent? Would he order the entire guild to look for him? He was unpredictable since the entire time I'd known him he was this calm, sensible type of man who just had his heart out for the Guild?

"I'll leave you two alone for the moment. I might scurry through Mercers' paperwork...could tell us something." Karliah said, turning around and walking off.

"Petra..." Bryn murmured. There he goes again. Using my name. I placed my hand on his face to let him know I was still here, but he turned away from me.

"I know you're confused right now. But...I know you don't want to believe what's being placed right in front of you, and you have every right to be unsure. You've known Mercer longer than most of us, Delvin probably has but we all know you were the closest to him. The fact you wouldn't know where he could be and that you're asking us suggests that Mercer would have never trusted any of you in the first place." I told him straight up. However long they'd been in the Guild as Master and Second-in-command, there wasn't too much personal communication. Just business and what ever else was deemed necessary for the Guild.

Brynjolf sighed and refused to look at me in the face.

"I just...would have not known Mercer would play us all for fools. The lad made sure the Guild would keep itself steady even through it's decline. And when I recruited you, there was still some linger of hope that our bracket would skim through it's darkest hour, eventually finding that silver lining. And we did."

He still refused to see reason on this. Brynjolf is one to have trustworthy people in an untrustworthy organisation. You could have seen this from any of the lowlives or the recruits still learning or just too stupid to follow the rules, and the ignorance would kill them. But coming from the Guild Master was just a shot in the stomach that no one saw coming.

Especially Brynjolf.

"Karliah is back and I don't know if she's playing us instead. How can we know?" Brynjolf questioned.

How dare he? Even after she'd helped him out back to the Cistern and assisted me in patching him up?

You know what? I pulled the man around and slapped him, surprising him for his just immaturity and stubbornness. I looked down. He was a Nord. Nords were known for their stubbornness. I guess there's only one thing to do.

"You may not trust Karliah, but you can trust me. Here."

I pulled up my armour and demonstrated the still healing wound on the left side of my torso while he was busy rubbing the red mark on his face.

Brynjolf had to squint at it. He wasn't sure but then something must have flashed before him and made him realise. His face changed again and it was wrenching me more.

"I'd gone to the ruins to find you. Or what ever was left of you. I saw the blood stain in the snow outside and a trickle on the inside. Is this what it was?" He'd asked, his once stable voice creaking with worry and concern.

I nodded slowly and dropped the armour.

"Mercer did this to me." I said outright...and there wasn't a better way to say it.

Brynjolf blinked. I don't know if he was expecting that type of response.

"Mercer...I."

I had to push through what ever the exhausting and painful memory of Mercer's...violations and make Bryn see reason and understand that Mercer must pay for he did. Not just to the Guild but...to me...

And to Tonilia...and to Sapphire and especially...to Vex.

Brynjolf grabbed hold of my shoulders to my surprise and stared me right in the face. His anger was mixed with his caution and anxious spirit. I suppose I should continue. Tears welled up in my eyes of course. I couldn't ignore the phantom pains the memories of it gave me. Again, this was not fear but the unholy perpetrations of a despicable man. I continued my struggle...tears were already falling down my face. It was just staring wide at him, not scrunched. I'd let them drop without being reluctant and hoping that may have been enough.

But Brynjolf came closer to me and wiped one of his my face with his thumb softly and slowly that I shivered underneath his touch.

" _What...did...Mercer...Frey...do?"_  He asked me, his voice was low and his chin back to his chest, his look of need to know growing.

"I...he..."

I'd bit my lip and looked down. My right arm had dropped, while my left had grabbed my bicep as I rubbed it.

"He's...he...it's unspeakable Bryn...I...back talked him and...he snapped."

Brynjolfs face widened.

"You disobeyed an order?" He questioned. It sounded more...how you say it, softer than the anger you'd be used to when some higher up starts asking about it. His voice must have gone up a pitch or two.

"You wouldn't do so if you didn't have a legitimate reason? What did he want you to do lass, please...just..I don't mind if you have to sob...I'll let you cry. Did he hurt you? Did he...hit you?"

I nodded. He was getting it at least. I just bared the burn.

"Yes. I didn't know how a simple no or question set him off but..."

Brynjolf was being awfully inquisitive about it. If I'd tell him, I'd wager all the issues with me telling him should be proof enough as well as the emotional reactions I was having. No I wasn't doing this on purpose. I just wanted Bryn to open his eyes already...everything right now was just natural. But I told myself if this was what it would take...

"He made me feel  _weak_...where in a situation I would have been strong. His nature was...dominant and overwhelming...uh...I...he'd knocked me to the ground and...I  _screamed_  your name...he told me you weren't there to save me. I'd pushed everywhere and...pulled everything off. He hit me, then used potions to heal me. Repeatedly. He...he...shouted at me...burned me...I couldn't do anything Bryn...I am so sorry...all I can imagine is those...sick, sick...groans and...I..."

It became too unbearable for me as I ran to the closest chest nearby and just hurled. The very image and thoughts twisted my stomach to no end. He ran over to me and helped me back on my feet after I was done. He turned me around and hugged me again, more tighter than usual. My gut churned greatly as he wrapped himself around me. But not as negatively as it had been prior. At least that wasn't making me chuck. I was more warm and pleasant.

"I think you've proven your point lass. No need to go on. It's my fault for not believing you and if I did I would have never forced you to go through that again...I didn't know. I'm the one who should be sorry." Bryn said with the most sorrowful tone I'd ever heard him speak in.

I eventually stopped sobbing as much as I could during that point where he held me. I'd tried to convince myself that perhaps being as close as they were no one would have seen it coming regardless and all that time Karliah had been plotting to reveal the truth, clear her name and get it down fast to take Mercer down. To me it was simple, to Brynjolf, it must have been hard to see the signs. I could sense his guilt for not realising it sooner. He couldn't see anything but being blinded by trust and friendship. No...he was being lied to. The entire time. Pulled around and ordered. Following orders...

It kept him alive and rich for the time being but Bryn was more than happy to contribute. He was a pinnacle of the guild and quite frankly was one of the only ones doing a lot more work than anyone realised. But I had succeeded in showing him the error of his beliefs and wanted him to put his best foot forward to set things right again. I gave him a squeeze.

I then broke the hug, but Bryn was unsure to let me go. Poor guy. He'd been thrown in the lake without a boat or paddle. Sorry, bad metaphor there.

"You said you knew Mercer the most. Is there anything you may know or is there anything you know that he has we can possibly use against him or find his whereabouts? Surely there has to be something. You don't just do something like this without plotting an exit or some kind of...what ever."

Brynjolf tapped his chin and began to think. I was glad I was getting him to concentrate again...I know what it's like to get lost in the storm of disorder and to have no clue on what to do.

"Hmmm...I do know he has a house here in Riften. A gift from Maven after kicking the residents out. We could start there. It's Riftweald Manor. Be wary, it's being guarded by a brute named Vald...he was well acquainted with Vex, if you know what I mean..."

I chuckled at the very thought, but I knew that it'd give me the chance to speak with Vex about our common problems.

He then frowned again.

"But lass...he  _will_  pay for what he did to the guild...what he did to you. And...I'm so very sorry that I wasn't there when I should have been. He'd told me you died...then when I saw your face I knew he was wrong. I had a feeling you were still alive out there somewhere. I wasn't sure to believe him but...to be honest I was in a bit of a tingle as to what I had to do then. But thanks to you my eyes are open, things are more clear to me."

I pressed my palm on his face and felt through his rough beard and stubble. I gave him a warm smile.

"I said I needed you there...I'd called your name because...your name just makes me happy. It sounds so stupid that way...I dunno..."

Great I had to find excuses for yelling for him at the worst possible moment. But none of this was his fault. None of it. He was entangled in this mess. Mercer manipulated everyone, including Brynjolf. I needed him angry yes but I needed him to be himself while he was at it and not like me who loses herself to fear and rage.

"Aye...I have that impact on people." He joked with a teeth showing grin that I just died from...no not really. Just made me weak.

"In all manners of seriousness, your story...no joke, tore me to pieces. I couldn't just imagine him doing that and to you of all people. Just makes me so..ugh...but I won't rest until he's dead. By the Eight he will die. Now that I see things for how they truly are, I have a pristine, pure hatred for Mercer now, and yet, in all of that, I learned something about myself along the way."

He approached me yet again and held onto my hands and fiddled with my fingers while I felt the heat on my cheeks swell up and my heart sent aflutter. I noticed his face had gone completely red. He couldn't even make eye contact with me and I swore that I could hear him make stuttered whispers. I smirked. Silly man.

"Out with it then, we don't have all day." I called out to him, attempting to gauge what ever nonsense he had for me...

"Petra...I..."

* * *

"So I couldn't...find...am I interrupting something here?" Karliah said, upon finding us holding hands with a bemused expression on her face.

The both of us parted ways very quickly and remained on farce, straightened and vigilant and a bit embarrassed.

"No..no...we were actually thinking that we may be able to find where Mercer went. He has a house here in Riften that might have some sort of indication." Brynjolf spoke, clearing his throat.

Karliah nodded and crossed her arms. She had this look on her face that was just...suspicious yet entertained.

"Alright then. Shall I go over there?"

I butted in all of a sudden. Alleviate all the awkwardness.

"No I'll do it. Brynjolf needs to keep watch here. I think you need to speak to him about something as well. I can't say much else on the matter without bawling my eyes out. But I also believe it has the utmost critical importance. Believe me..."

Karliah and I looked at one another and understood. I had to do this. I knew I could do it. Everyone was out for his blood now but I was the only one right now who could..is it me being arrogant? Maybe? Perhaps? I don't know. Brynjolf became the Guild Master by default, or at least one in standing. My assumption anyway. But he had more things to worry about, like keeping the Guild under control. They trusted him more for direction and I was better off doing things on my own.

For now.

I felt bad with him bearing that burden, but this was definitely something I could do myself. I may have been broken but not totally destroyed. And I was adamant that I could get through this. This was not dragon related...for now but at least I could assist in getting things set out straight once and for all.

I'd left Karliah with Bryn in the Vault. We could have afterwards to discuss anything we wanted. He could handle ourselves but right now Bryn was getting most of the heat sent towards him. His shame and to him it seemed like a failure. Though you would have to remind him that entirety of the Guild would no longer take the traitor in and none of would dare, on my watch, blame Brynjolf for anything. If they did they would see the tip of one of my arrows. Probably one of my harsh ebony ones dipped in poison.

I know our partnership was kind of...and still is..twisted. Bryn means a lot to me. The way I became embroiled with an overprotective charm built from anger that set my heart racing every time he was in immediate danger. Maybe that was why I didn't want him to leave the Cistern.

He's very capable believe me. He was in a state of shock that Karliah and I could get him out of eventually...maybe not Karliah but I'd reassure him a thousand times if I had to. He'll be fine, I'm sure of it.

Though I was more self-centered in the beginning and in some ways, I still am. I'm a natural thief, what do you expect? But Brynjolf was my better centre. My inner, self-centre. And Gods be damned anyone else take that away from me. Not anyone, not even a dragon. Make no mistake Brynjolf will not be harmed, not while I still draw breath.

So he was safer for now. Yes, the irony still stands amongst us. I've had terrible things happen to me and though my heart would weep at the sight of Mercer and dragons alike, I can navigate myself through the hidden cracks and at one point I will find a means to discover more of myself and deal with the real issues head on. And in order for me to deal with the Dragons, I'd need the courage to defeat Mercer first and utilise that courage as a weapon. Somehow I was gonna do that, friend.

* * *

However before I left I spoke with Vex in private in the Flagon. She leered at me. I know that arrogant, bitchy front too well for her fool me with her uptight demeanour.

"You're getting your way for now." She told me, with venom in her tone.

I nodded at her. She mentioned that earlier, to satiate her pride.

"We all want to kill Mercer, Vex, but I know what you're going through." I told her.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." Vex mentioned, rolling her eyes.

"I had it happen to me too. And I know Sapphire and Tonilia have gone through the same thing. None of you like to admit and it still terrifies me in that monster of a breton dares to have tread inside these walls and have his way with the females in his guild." I told her left, front right and centre.

And I saw the snap in her eyes. She knew. She still knew.

"We would have warned you. Females don't exactly get the privilege of leading a lot down here. Mercer was and still is a massive narcissist and a huge, chauvinist. Sapphire heard him mention once or twice that he was going take Haelga away and basically, dig her worship of Dibella out of her and replace it with his God of Domination...what ever that meant."

I blinked. That was...strange.

"But he did...have his way with you?" I queried. Not exactly something I wanted to answer myself but this was important.

Vex sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Yeah once. I recall it as being extremely degrading and...the image is still surprisingly vivid."

I nodded. It must have been. If it was still fresh in my mind, then it may still linger there in times to come.

"But his power couldn't be ignored you know, like he was possessed by something. I can't admit it was entirely bad. I'd struggled at first but ended up submitting after realising how good it was. Then he made me swear never to say this to anyone, or else my head would roll of its shoulders."

It made me sick. But then again...this had happened with me as well. So forgive me if I go off again...

The power, the struggle...the release. Painful with that ultimate punishment of pleasure drilling into you. And ultimately left you confused as to whether or not you actually enjoyed it. Vex sounded like it, but I never understood the fact that she was a strong woman and never actually told anyone about. Same with Sapphire, though her story was either very similar, or she was just speaking about experience in another way that didn't involve Mercer.

"But how do you see it now?" I wondered. I had to know whether or not this was just how Mercer made things seem or whether there was something else behind it.

Vex just shrugged her shoulders.

"We hardly spoke at all. It's...terrible though and now that you put the idea in my head its actually kind of humilating."

I nodded.

"You and I weren't the only ones. Tonilia...Sapphire. Mercer told me that he did it to them as well."

Vex's eyebrows raised.

"Really? Hm..and I thought Sapphire as all talk herself. Seems to have some kind of hidden issue that is now blatant to us all. And Tonilia? Probably explains why she doesn't want to marry Vekel just yet. And Dirge just thought because she was having an affair with Bryn."

What?

Vex looked at me with fake surprise.

"Oh I'm sorry, just a little rumour around the Flagon. Tonilia insists it's not true. It'd been something of a topic between all of us before you arrived. Luckily now I guess that its long since passed and over, considering Brynjolf won't stop gushing over you."

I shook my head. We had to get back on topic and not jealous over some stupid rumor. I liked Tonilia. Don't ruin it for me now Vex.

"Well Bryn can gush over me as much as he likes. Besides that, I'm more curious as to Mercer got the better of us."

Vex nodded.

"We're all strong women no doubt. But you might want to get looking into that God of Domination crap. Even for Mercer, that's a bit flashy and over the top. He's not the type to go worship any type of Divines but that just sounds...a little bit creepy."

I'd have to look into that another time. But for now...

"Bryn also mentioned that you also knew, Vald personally..."

Vex chuckled. More amusing thoughts.

"Ah I was waiting for this. Yeah I know the dirt on that pig of a man. Got more secrets on him than you can handle. Let's see, how about him screwing up on a job for Maven. Seriously, he _screwed_  up...on Maven. It was a wonder to see him alive."

I crossed my hands.

"He's supposedly at Mercer's Manor. I want to know how to get on his good side."

Vex just laughed.

"Good side? Huh...dunno. Money? But I'd admit he's pretty loyal to Mercer so you may have some trouble buying him off. I don't care what happens to him. But make you sure you help yourself to anything of Mercers while you're in there. Gods know I would."

I smirked.

"Thanks Vex. And I swear, we will get Mercer." I assured her.

She smiled at me. And it may have been one of those cocky smiles, it had been more genuine than I'd ever seen her.

"Appreciate the sentiments. I have no doubt you'll get rid of him. Good riddance. And I might just talk with Tonilia and Sapphire about this as well. They'd want to know that we both know. It might just give them closure...that's if your story is true. Then I'd just be seen as the jealous bitch wanting to lick Mercers boots once last time."

We shook hands in our own agreement. I think this was the first time Vex and I saw eye to eye on anything else besides business. She may have the shield of hate around her but she wasn't that bad. I'd really hope she'd give old' Delvin a chance one day.

"And Petra? Kick his ass for me." She called out to me as I left the Cistern.

Thank you Vex once again. I will make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: dun dun DUNNN I don't know if any of you suspected that!


	27. Worse than I thought...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra infiltrates Riftweald Manor.

 

I rendezvoused back to the surface once I had gotten more details about the Manor and sold the Dwemer Cube and model ship to Delvin, because I'd nearly forgotten I had them stored. The town was still repairing itself after that Dragon attack. It was painful going back up there again, to the restless ashes of those left behind. But somehow it still functioned, but Riften was more of a ghost town than ever.

I'd gone back to the back of Riftweald Manor and wasn't surprised that it was left untouched. Though the Plaza had taken a bit of a beating. The Dragon's skeleton was being cleaned up in the aftermath, leaving the guards in such a wonder.

I'd...prefer not to be seen as the saviour here. Again it's proven my cowardice and my inability to accept my role and just seen as an another weakling left alone to their fate.

It becomes strange that, though months ago I wouldn't have really cared about a single person here. Goes for a lot of people. I'd only come here to run away and back then I'd be tempted to hide yet again. But the dragons just know. They know where I am and where I'll be and will follow me to the end of Nirn if they have to. Which was making it more important that we take care of this and going elsewhere to entrench myself with a bit of the Greybeards wisdom. I just didn't want anyone people to die because of me. And look where my foolishness has lead to.

I refocused my goal on Vald, the brutish Nord who was loyal to Mercer still. I'd gave it a shot to buy him off, but like Vex said, it wouldn't work. I thumbed my lip. Then made a remark that Mercer needed his help somewhere. Where ever didn't matter. And I'd offered to take care of the place for him.

Idiot. He fell for such an stupid ploy. He'd given me a key and ran off.

I'd seen the contraption that Mercer had commissioned for quick escapes and aimed at a piece there and it let down the ramp. Interesting to note as well. But I'd expected for some kind of ambush or what ever so I kept my guard up as I entered from above.

* * *

 

The house was deathly silent, save for the subtle breathing of the mercenaries he'd hired to guard it. I scurried around up and down the place without much luck, but had a fun time evading the mercs while I was at it. Couldn't find a damn thing though even after several thorough searches. I was wary the mercs may have started to catch on what I was doing. But nonetheless.

I poked through many cupboards, then found one that was completely empty. I knocked on twice, which revealed a hidden passageway.

The passageway lead to a section of the Ratway, strangely enough. I'd reckoned that all Mercer had was a study, or a hidden study with all his plots, perhaps gold and jewels he'd stolen from the Guild, mass amounts of paper work. He'd never leave that in the Cistern. I'd wager he would have been doing this for years with tonnes of influence.

No. All I'd found was much, much worse.

I'd say that it wasn't anything of the above as you might think from a man of his caliber.

No.

This was a chamber of death.

My eyes widened and I froze when I walked down the steps. I'd seen blood everywhere on the floor, walls written in daedric letters, also with blood, and many candles a lit on the walls. The air was more cold than Skyrim snow. I couldn't step any further without wanting to vomit.

But...I took a deep breath. Petra, you came here for a reason. You will not leave until you have fulfilled that purpose. I was sickly, but I would manage. I'd gone through the muck down another walkway, where it appeared as something...or someone, was dragged down. I'd gone into the room, where I barely avoided a set of spikes that came down from the ceiling. There was a skeleton stuck in one of the spikes. It sent a shiver down my spine.

The atmosphere was alien and unknown. It resembled the sewers but was much much darker. It could drill a sense of hopelessness in you and bore something fierce into your very soul. What Mercer was up to, it definitely wasn't of holy origins. It was more akin to some bizarre ritual and worship. He did mention the God of Domination and the writing on the wall...suggested in.

It made sense. It made me feel more ill but I wasn't going to hide from the fact that Mercer was worshipping a Daedric Prince, and that all these insane happenings were purely for the worship of...some one. I tried to remember.

" _Ahh you've arrived..._ " Churned a voice that echoed in my mind.

" _And you've stumbled upon my Champions home. He who has forsaken Nocturnal and bore himself to me_."

It held this power that had full intentions to overwhelm with intensity. I felt it and almost fell onto the ground. I'd escaped the spiked room and went into another hallway. Where the candles suddenly went out.

I was walking in pure darkness.

" _But you...ah yes I sense you may been have someone of a certain...spirit. But you're weak. My champions must be strong!_ " It roared.

Imagine being stuck on a rack with your limbs tied back and pulled. This was how his voice felt like, sinister and devilish.

"None have survived the Walk of Wills since my dear Champion. The winds have changed, and the flow of strength no longer belongs to you, Dragonborn."

I felt the rough brick edges of the walls to prevent myself from bumping into anything else. My heartbeat rose and the need for air suddenly grew. The floors squeaked and squished. The scent of blood was running rampant through my nostrils that it was hard to become accustomed to. Sometimes I wish I was a Khajiit, that way I'd have at least a better visage of what was going on around me.

Though the struggle to defeat fear became the factor of respecting it, the basis of paranoia judged on every sound that was made and what echoed through the halls. One thing on my mind was that was it Mercer who built his wretched place? Or was it already here?

The Princes have been known to be the masters of psychological manipulations but also physical at times. None were ever understood completely. If you'd find yourself at a crossroads with four paths, they'd point you in the fifth direction. Or they'd sing a song on the the highest pitch beyond of hearing and end up having your brain melt to moosh. Your ears do not sense but your mind disappears at the highest note. That sort of crap.

But the unpredictability of the Daedra was what made them so dangerous. We are no more than mere pawns in their game unending. A fire mixed with blood was what drenched this disgusting place.

But this one made your heart weak and mind fuddled. It tested you and births you to what extent your will could be stretched to. Flight or fight. Either way, luck was the only thing that would leave you alive.

What Daedra want from mere mortals is said to be something of an enigma, from what I have read. Fun, profit? Who knew? Those with common sense knew they were nothing but bad news but morons and the gullible often found themselves fallen at their worship. I never understood it really, but...

I had a feeling that one day I'd be forced to meet a Prince. People like me, especially like me, would definitely encounter one. It's in an adventurers bucket list to maybe just meet one. Talk to it maybe, but try not to fall for what ever nonsense they feed you.

But the power of this Daedra was of the same compelling sensation as...before.

No...

not this again.

I'd found myself in a weird dome shaped room. The room was lit in red, with a single mace in the middle of it, like on some kind of bizarre shrine.

I looked around, and tried to find where in Oblivion I was. Wait...

Was I...in Oblivion?

" _You have the ability to slay Dragonkind yet you steer clear from the dreaded beasts. Let's see...pick up that mace. Use it in all it's rustful spitefulness. And see if you can survive the onslaught."_

The room when dark again and the air had shifted. It smelled rank and gruesome.

As usual, I instantly became frozen upon the sound of a dragons roar. This was cruel. Too cruel.

The worst part was that I could only hear and I couldn't see. I'd picked up the mace before hand, but didn't know why.

The roars got louder but I still couldn't see anything.

I'd told myself that dragons were going to be after Mercer and not before. The Daedra knew this and was exploiting that logical structure. Logic does not help you. At all.

I remained motionless and ill from all angles, with attempts to drive me mad currently at the borderline. But that feeling, when a surge of lightning strikes through, but you can't help but that your perception slows and you can imagine bolts of light shooting through every nerve, like a tree on fire. I'd become stuck in where I was, with the phobia messing up my head like always.

It made me think about my phobia. It's junction...its heel to me. The roars were the calm before the storm. The first chapter in a book of tragedy. From where they were shouting from, they might as well be flying around in circles, surrounding their prey. I heard wings flapping, to where every flap my ears became attuned to, and my head moving around to their directions.

But in a sense, It was...odd...and that it differed from the normal encounters.

I became furious.

"You may watch me Daedra. This is not the sort of thing you yourself should be messing with. You may know my fears but you may never take my spirit. I am absence of courage but I still have the tenacity to pull through. I will!"

I actually didn't know who I was trying to convince. Myself, or the Daedra. The darkness didn't help much, since the fiend didn't dare show himself.

" _Feisty. I like that. Words do not much good for you though. Unless you're going to offer me something in return_."

I tried to think. I really had no real choice in the matter did I?

"I want to kill Mercer Frey." I said out loud and this time of no fear or hesitation. I stood up straight. The Dragons roars weren't real, I couldn't sense their spirits nor their breath or shouts upon me.

" _Of course you do...I know your desire to destroy him is...strong. Mercer has dominated and destroyed in my name for years. But this turn of events, could make things interesting..._ "

I took a deep breath. I honestly didn't like where this was going. At all.

" _I was wrong about you. So, I'll give you my mace...my proper Mace. And I want you to dominate. Destroy in my name...killing Mercer would prove your worth and test your mettle. I want to see who is the stronger and most deserving to be my...champion..."_

He still gave me chills as he mystically transformed the mace into a spiky, green glowing monstrosity.

" _And the weaker...well, let's just say that they deserve whats coming to them...farewell.._ "

I jumped when everything suddenly went light again. I was standing in the study, no doubt the one that I thought would exist. When I found scraps of a plan in motion. Some Dwemer ruin that Mercer was looking into it. I'd found a few things in here as well. Jewels...gold...a bust of the infamous Grey Fox.

I had trouble trying to figure out what had just happened though. Mercer had been taking the orders of a Daedra? Or was he doing this on his own? My...experiences tell me that this was all his doing...but the compelled nature...

I was beginning to see why the others, like Vex, never talked about their experiences with Mercer and his...degrading methods to keep them in line. It often became all muddled and twisted to where it just hurt to think about it. By pushing it aside you'd be okay. But I knew on those points that that was just...ugh...

The amount of force...that Mercer put into it was...astounding but terrifying, whisking you away in his world of torment...and...

Gods I still can't handle the thought of it. I must still be too weak to take it all in. I still don't know what's going on here. What's this...perplexing notion that just can't be breached in terms of why it had occurred and for what reasons Mercer was doing this.

I fear we may have to kill him before we actually find out.

Thank the Gods I was still alive.


	28. Spiritual Value

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf brings his hidden philosophies to play and reveals certain truths.

 

We waited for the lass to return back with any news at all of Mercers return.

I was relatively calm and active, but slightly anxious. I'd learned of what Mercer had done, what he had truly done, and I felt betrayed and wrought for what I was once worth to the man.

The pit in my gut was as strong as ever and I tried to figure out...why?

But all the blocking out made more sense. If anything, Mercer had been much more secretive after Gallus' demise according to ol' Delvin. He'd never be one to talk about his personal life. You'd have to gain the trust and friendship between another member of the Guild and over time you earn their respect. To know another, you must be willing to prove yourself to the sanctity of the Guild itself. You must make yourself willing to develop yourself into your chosen profession.

Some of these people had thrown away their lives for unjust pursuits. We cannot deny them if they wish to join our line of work. But you have to learn the differences, to define you properly as a Thief, rather than a common bandit.

People here aren't afraid to be themselves. They aren't fake and all have had their share of pain in the day. We're not here to judge if something influenced them to take our line of work or they were born with gift. They do the job well and they do it clean. We require nothing else.

Normally we don't care much for another's well being. Mercer never did. You can pay for your head elsewhere. Silly as the focus was on Petra right now, but there had never been a sense of togetherness before this.

Aye, sounds all warm and fuzzy and I can tell you no one would like it told that way. But the Guild itself has taken her in and made her one of us. Later, there was no real doubt about her abilities.

There are heroes and villains in these types of stories. And in what grey area defines us as both a hero to the people you serve, or the villain in the ways of the people you constantly betray.

So, aye, none of us are true heroes and may not accomplish such tripe at any given time. Petra can and it somewhat fits.

Someone like her is let into the Guild, a rabble of people on the brink of extinction. Then incomes the bony, thin Nord and eventually the Guild spruces up.

This is just what I'm thinking has happened because I've read those stories before. Someone like Maramal would call it, a person with spiritual value. What ever that means, but I think he meant is that we might not define something the way we expect it to be. Because they can be anything. But their natures and their strengths are from the divines as well...just guessing that of course. I uh, don't know if it's actually true.

But Petra's spirit rose the Thieves Guild near back to it's glory days. It's just fascinating about someone getting things back together simply by doing their job, while the rest of us just struggled.

But the rest of us are just side characters. We may give the order because it's our job to do so. But the hard yards and work are done by these individuals. You may not hear all of the story, but you know, it'd been the little victories, ones not often told. Not glorified or put into great detail.

This is more about efficiency of our members as well. Everyone would need to stand for one another. Especially for Petra. She simply won't spare the details because you know the results from here are, nearly guaranteed to be near perfect. That's what she's been doing this entire time. Then her spirit breaks.

It's not that that Guild isn't capable of caring, it's just caring that burden of emotional attachment can sometimes be overwhelming. I know that all too well...it's just that...uh...okay...

It's getting harder to avoid speaking about it. Yes, I've been lying this entire time. I've been visiting the Temple of Mara in secret for a while. Shocked? I am. They say some people have more of an ability to just be themselves because they were destined for greatness and there's few born like that. They believe that a being like the Dragonborn isn't designed by fate itself to solve the problem of Alduin and all that, but to let others draw breath once again by being there and actually doing things other people would be afraid to do. What compels her to do so? I know she's helped people. Mjoll, the lingering lass whom detests, had an issue with dwemer ruins previously. Almost died for the sounds of it. Petra goes right out and helps her, goes to the ruin and gives Mjoll her weapon back. It's amazing when you hear that about a Thief? Her spirit somehow attracts those in dire need and is actually attracted to those in need. Her Spiritual Value, well, is quite high.

So I think I may see why she bares the burden she does. She naturally finds trouble and goes full tilt to help solve it. And if she fails, it brings her great sadness that she could do nothing about it. So her fears with the dragons and Mercer are all brought under great failures. The Temple helped me understand that. Such a failure could have been catastrophic and should never have occurred.

But what can you do when you never wanted the abilities in the first place? I know Petra would want to get through this as much as she possibly can. And I want to help her. We all do. Maybe she was better off having a life elsewhere but if all this is just part of her wanting to help, it's just...

I love the lass...I do, but she needlessly puts herself in harms way and it drives her to misery anyway. The way she fights a dragon is nothing like a Thief but of a warrior. I'm yet to comprehend that. The Temple could translate that as her spirit awakening for it's true purpose, but her fear misguiding her.

She screams because it's painful for her to even approach the dragon yet she's oddly pulled towards it and her fear turns into hate and outright fights. She's normally the one to avoid confrontation altogether and is the lone wolf among the pack. But she changes. She's no longer what she was and becames something...more.

The fire in her burns brightly and you weren't seeing Petra at all. It's like the fury of the Dragon inside is pushing her to dominate herself. But what triggers her to change?

I don't know and it hurts myself to think about it. And I worry about her in the depths of Mercers house and I can't help it. I dare not show those feelings to everyone else. I've always been good at that. But I haven't had those pulls like Petra has...what ever its doing to her it's just destroying her in the inside.

A conflict of two spirits.

Which one is more value?

There's a smash of a door nearby. Hurried footsteps approach me in the middle of Cistern.

"Brynjolf, he's heading to Irkngthand, something about the Eyes of the Falmer." Petra announced.

She stood up straighter than usual, sounding hurried and weary. But there was something in her eyes that was telling me something but she sure wasn't.

But the Eyes of the Falmer, that sounded...

"The Eyes of the Falmer, that was Gallus' little pet project!" I announced, making the connection.

She stood there looking at me, as if awaiting orders. Karliah came by, having heard my conversation.

"You have his location now?" Karliah asked.

I nodded. "Aye. Irkingthand. We should here there immediately. Petra, stay with the Guild, Karliah and I will need to talk."

Petra shook her head. I'd received the biggest glare that I'd ever seen.

"No. I will NOT stay here. I want that bastards head on a pike and set on fire if it's the last thing I do!"

Her voice sounded so dark and tinged with anger. I often had trouble seeing which side of her was speaking.

"Very well, but if anything happens to you..." I muttered, then realised now was not the right time...especially with Karliah there. But Petra just rolled her eyes at me.

"I'll be fine Brynjolf, I'm more worried about you guys."

I rose an eyebrow. There's that cocksureness I'd come to appreciate.

"Fine then. Karliah?"

The Dunmer nodded.

"Now is time to decide Mercer's fate, and that falls to you Brynjolf."

Aye it did. Second-in-command is still second-in-command and this moment I was still the defacto.

"Mercer killed Gallus and he tried to kill the both of you. He betrayed the Guild. He needs to die."

I'd realised what I said sent shivers down my spine. My order to kill Mercer was on just terms and left heavily on me as number two to decide. I'd become the figurehead I never wanted to be.

"Good. Because we'll need to meet on equal footing with him. I want to take you two somewhere first before we head out to Mercer. Trust me on this and I assure you we all will have a chance."

Karliah explained.

I nodded. I turned to Petra, waiting for her response.

"Alright, where do we need to go?"

Thank Mara there is one Petra.


	29. The Oath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karliah takes Petra and Brynjolf and helps them prepare for Mercer, while she sees familiar signs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SoulStealer1987 you make me laugh. Have another Karliah chapter on me.

 

My work was nearing it's end. I could feel it.

But Brynjolf and Petra were willing, since they were just as wrapped up in this nonsense as I was. They'd fallen to the same manipulations as Gallus and I, but I was beginning to see comparisons between Bryn and Petra alongside myself and Gallus. It was adorable and I'd been blind to see it.

I'd interrupted them during their close times...purely by accident of course.

But from what I had seen, they'd been through a lot together. I silently wished them the same luck, if not better than what happened with Gallus. They occasionally gave each other glances and smiled more often in each others presence...the unusual type of flirting, since they were actually more awkward around each other if anything. I could sense the tension between them as we left Riften and into the Rift's countryside. I lead them, while the two walked close by one another. I'd been a fool not to know what was going on. You'd think that after being in a relationship for a while would make it more apparent to you. I was wrong.

We'd walked over to the Nightingale headquarters. I was hoping to induct them as Nightingales so they could get the answers they deserved. I hungered for resolution to a decades long game.

I cannot accept my own failures and reasons for why this had happened. Mercer was ruthless and cruel and I had no doubt in my mind that he was jealous of Gallus. He wasn't always like that. He once admired the Guild Master and followed his word. He...he was a bright man always looking for the thrill. Staying in one place bored him so he was fascinated by the dangerous and the strange. He'd found me once as he'd seen the blood in me was itching to do something.

My grand mother was the infamous Barenziah and I'd come to admire her for her beauty and smarts. Gallus actually knew more about her than me. And I'm family. I'm really blind aren't I?

But Mercer one day just...changed. I was fortunate enough to get out of his grasp, as befitting as my position as a Nightingale and my loyalty to the Oath.

We'd reached the Hall and stood in front of the large standing stone nearby. I'd pulled the chain and opened the hidden doorway nearby.

Brynjolf couldn't believe his eyes but also had trouble following me on what was going on. I only told them the basic details of us being Nightingales in order for us to fight Mercer on equal grounds, or else we'd got slaughtered the moment we encountered him.

We'd gone inside and down the darkened hallways. We'd reached the old rest area, but the beds were pretty much all over the place and derelict. I'd remembered the old days where us three would just be counting the jewels and coin, plotting heists and all those kinds of fun ideas. Back when Mercer used to smile and didn't become the monster he was now. Gallus liked Mercer and saw potential in him as a master thief and welcomed him to the Nightingales with open arms. I believe time with us made him feel..separated after it was made...unfortunately obvious that Gallus and I had fallen for each other.

Mercer was like Brynjolf once. Cheerful, optimistic for the Guild's future and so forth. We were one happy family. It was painful to see him develop sociopathic tendencies. Gallus caught on to his act quite quickly and noticed him...warp into a part of the shadow's we'd never even seen before. He became chauvinistic and brutish. He held just as much hatred as he did jealousy for Gallus towards the end.

I pray to Nocturnal that this never happens to Brynjolf and Petra. Especially if what Brynjolf told me was true about her being what the Nord legends call Dragonborn. I was puzzled as to why someone like her would even be in the Guild. Brynjolf was hesitant and hostile to trust me at first, but when the evidence of Mercer's betrayal became clear, and the stories of Mercer's horrendous came forth, I was glad that my warnings didn't fall on deaf ears.

We came across the armoury, where we would receive the blessed Nightingale Armour. I instructed the pair to rest their hands on the stones before them, marked with the Nightingale symbol.

I felt like Gallus, watching them as they laid their hands on the stones and closed their eyes, looking at the way as thick silver lined black smoke started to swirl around them slowly. I could hear the sparkle sounds, the clinks as it overtook their armour, almost replacing it. The scene was just magical as their capes formed from behind once the smoke had reached their shoulders. The armour started to take shape, with the hood forming, then as the plates themselves settled in, the circular emblem of the Nightingales gave off a bright light before fading in place.

I got mine, then observed the pair admiring the gifts that Nocturnal had gave them. I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay lass, we got these get ups on...now what?" Brynjolf questioned at the behest of his just confusion.

I nodded.

"Beyond this gate is the first step in becoming a Nightingale."

His eyes may be hidden, but I detected reluctance in his body language.

"Woah there, lass. I appreciate the armour, but becoming a Nightingale? That was never discussed."

It was a lot to throw away of course. Petra didn't say anything. I couldn't tell if that silence was acceptance or it was just uncertainty. But I'd expected them to think in the sense of worship and reverence, but I needed them to understand this was all business related and treat it as such. Nocturnal doesn't need prayer. I don't know what she wants but I know how she works and treats her Nightingales.

Brynjolf looked at Petra, who remained quiet in all of this.

"You're pulling Petra into something she doesn't even understand." He stated.

"I don't want her drawn into it."

I crossed my arms and looked at the girl.

"Petra?"

She looked down at her feet.

"We gotta defeat Mercer right?" She stated, not looking at either of us. I really couldn't tell if she was nervous or just puzzled at it all.

"Aye, we do. I just need to know the terms before we strike some deal with a Daedric Prince. Which is hardly ever a good idea."

Hesitations like these were common along decent folk like them. I understood that. But to assure them that they will gain considerable power as part of it, that they will have the backs of said Prince by their side.

"This will improve our luck tenfold I promise you. The terms are quite simple. Nocturnal will allow you to become a Nightingale and use your abilities for whatever you wish. And in return, both in life and in death, you must serve as a guardian of the Twilight Sepulcher. _"_

I explained to them.

Petra looked at me. Part of me didn't want her to stay here but, the secrecy of the Sepulcher was sworn to us for a reason. She could still do what ever she wanted but I had been unsure of her true calling. She may not end up with the shadows herself if what truth about the Dragonborn was known.

"Petra?"

She looked me, her stance improved, supporting her confidence.

"I'll go through with it for now. Anything is better than what I am right now. If this helps out with my courage issues, then by all means."

In a way I was both glad and disappointed. Her future would definitely be uncertain but it wasn't mine to control. Maybe not Nocturnals either.

"Very well. Brynjolf?"

He still wasn't sure about it. I had to appeal it to him somehow.

"There's always a catch. But I guess there isn't much to lose."

I nodded. I had a brief discussion about what we needed to do and what was going to happen. I needed both of them to just relax and to let me handle it.

* * *

We came into the main summoning area and instructed Petra to cross the bridge from the inner platform to go onto the western circle and Brynjolf on the eastern. Still having that ethereal feel after all these years. But that's what made it so mystical and illusionary.

I'd gone into the wider central circle, where Gallus once stood. I remembered the words he called out that very day he inducted me and Mercer.

"I call upon you Lady Nocturnal, Queen of Murk and Empress of Shadow... hear my voice!"

Upon my phrasing, a large glowing ball of violet sparkling glowing energy emerged from above the large circle before us.

" _Ah, Karliah. I was wondering when I'd hear from you again. Lose something did we?_ " Called out a echoed and disembodied voice.

* * *

We discussed the terms of the oath. These hoods were really good at hiding reactions from the others, but I sensed them in awe of Nocturnals very presence, though I was worried that Petra might not like the idea itself still. But at least I got Nocturnals favour once more, bargaining with her with two more guardians for the Sepulcher.

We met in the inner circle after we'd finished, having some more business to discuss.

"So that's it then? We're Nightingales?" Petra stated.

I nodded.

"Yes. And now you can know Mercers true crime. He's been able to get away with stealing from the Guild is because of the Skeleton Key..."

I described how the Key was crucial to keeping our luck flowing, but how it could open any lock, irregardless of type. And it also unlocked spiritual and magical barriers, bringing us the power stored within our minds. Which made Mercer incredibly powerful. Petra understood the fact that while it made stealing easier, it wasn't right. She'd wanted to spit in his face as she put it back where it belonged. Good. She needed that attitude. The Sepulcher acted as a conduit for luck, flowing in from Nocturnals realm of Evergloam. That all those uncanny claims of pure luck and chance were on the terms of Nocturnals very influence. She was a paragon back in the day. And still is.

And now that we finally had gained an advantage, we could finally strike Mercer, but I suspected we still needed to be extra careful. We went back into the rest area and readjusted the beddings there. I'd come to hide here a lot, during my exile. And I still imagine sometimes, with Gallus right beside me. I miss him dearly.

They weren't saying anything about nor were they showing it, but the pair were exhausted. I wanted them at full strength when we go find Mercer.

Thank you Brynjolf and Petra for bringing back good memories.


	30. Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio spend the night at Nightingale Hall. Brynjolf can't sleep, as Petra stirs in her exhausted, but anxious stupor, forcing Bryn to acknowledge a few more truths...among other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another chapter tonight. Shippy AF ;)

 

I was still shocked about my induction into the Nightingales, even if all I heard were stories and fairy tales. Petra was spruce about it though, while maybe a bit frightened I think she actually liked the opportunity. But Karliah explained it in terms that we should treat it as a permanent business contract. While I wasn't looking forward to spending eternity in the unknown, Karliah informed us that our potentials as thieves will start to reap in huge benefits for the Guild.

And the Guild was family and in it's entirety needed to be avenged and purposely brought back to life to bring fun and adventure back into our old ragtag of had brought out the spare beds to let us rest on, summarizing that would need to rest in order to be at full strength for Mercer. I had more intentions to find Mercer now before he got away, but we were dead tired. It'd been hard for the past few days, still getting the damned dragon off our minds. Petra took it well enough I suppose, which was of course a good sign. She must be more cautious than we were. But she was not looking forward to meeting Mercer himself yet again, but I deep down I know that she'll law down the chaos of the dragon, if given the chance.

We'd gone to sleep, but I just had trouble. I slept in the middle of the row of beds, with Petra to my left and Karliah to my right. She slept well enough, probably dreaming about Gallus or what ever. I turned to Petra, who was laying there, but I wondered if she was awake at all.

I fought for sleep itself but it just didn't come. I laid there, with my hands behind my head looking up at the cave rock ceiling, thinking and trying to sleep.

I heard Petra shuffle about and get off the bed.

"Can't sleep either lass?" I asked.

She turned around. I was curious as she'd had her head down and walked with a stagger in her step. It was strange, more like she was sleep walking from the looks of it. I watched her as she came closer to my bed. She stopped and was still for the moment, before collapsing. I quickly adjusted myself to catch her, but she kind of just dropped onto my chest, arms splaying.

"Hi...there." I said, nervous. My face heated up dramatically. As a result, my heart beat faster, sweating increased and nerves wrangled.

She lifted her head and rested her chin on my cheek. Her eyes were closed. She seriously had to be sleep walking.

"Can't sleep?"

It was more awkward that we were in our Nightingale armour but it wasn't all too uncomfortable, seemingly summoned to fit our bodies. The armour on her looked nice in all places. I'd uhh..preferred to look at her cute little face.

"Mmmm..." She mumbled.

I was stunned as she randomly slid herself up on the bed beside me. By Shor this was making me feel worse. My stomach filled itself with butterflies and I was really gonna struggle for sleep. I moved to side a bit more so she could fit. This bed really wasn't made for two people so it got cramped quickly. But we figured it out, with her little body curving around me. My face was red hot by this point as her head was really close to mine. I almost jumped as she opened her eyes. I bit my lip.

"Something...something on your mind?" I asked. I wasn't cold, this armour was warmer than the armour I was wearing before, but I was still shaking from anxiety.

Her eyelids must have been heavy as she took slow and laboured blinks. I was clumsy, shuffling my arm around to put my hand behind her back.

"I...I dunno...you think we still will be able to defeat Mercer? He has Molag Bal behind his back you know." She muttered to me.

I still distinctly remember that discussion we had earlier. Mercer had a made a huge mess of things and screwed the Guild over for all it was worth. And now we are paying for his mistakes. And for what Mercer had done to Petra still made me furious and outright bled fury and fire for the man...no...the monster.

But I have confidence in Petra to do the right thing when the time came. Like cut him like a fish like she did with the dragons.

"As long as you're by our side lass, we'll send him straight to Oblivion." I whispered with confidence and a warm smile.

I saw her blush and make a cheeky grin. I slid my hand over to her chin and looked into both of her eyes. My own were hazy and half-lidded and she helped me feel better about it. I stroked her chin, then rubbed her cheek slowly. I think she was actually fighting sleep rather than resisting it.

"Why are you...so nice to me?" She'd ask, her voice croaky.

I swallowed hard. I had no no idea what to say. I was really lost in those gorgeous eyes of hers. I was all wrong. I was nervous, I was shivering, my chest pumping harder than it ever was and I was soon to be out of breath, so I started to breath heavily through my nose. I'd never had someone make me feel that way before. She..she didn't...I never said anything about my...uh...feelings. Sorry, I had to swallow my saliva again. I'd been with women before, aye, but this was completely different. We were intimate without saying much to each other...I uh..didn't know if she knew without me telling her. It just felt...right...that while she's pretty pissed of how the world has treated her, she'd taken revenge out on those who deserved it. I'd earn the honour of her appreciation and yet I don't have the gall to just...tell her.

Those cute cheeks, rosy red. The lass was glowing. I...I wanted to kiss her. I wanted...I wanted touch her. And...please her...I just wanted her.

She was so warm too. By Gods why do you make me feel this way? I had a thousand butterflies in my stomach. I was so tempted to grab her face and press it against mine.

But that would be disrespectful. But with her grabbing my hand and intertwining hers into mine, locking our fingers, gave birth to a strike of burning energies.

"I know I've...been a pain Bryn." She whispered, on the very verge of falling asleep.

I shook my head jaggedly, no. She's been the best we've ever had. She's gained the respect of the most important holds of Skyrim just by simply doing her job. And we need someone like that to lead us. I'd help of course.

"No...no...lass...not...not at all...uh...you've been nothing but good to us. Brought the Guild back on it's feet. And now we're finally getting somewhere...how...how do you feel?"

She shrugged.

"I...I have had mostly hesitation. But you...you and Karliah have been good to me. I...I'm sorry..."

She looked down, before breaking contact and sliding herself off the bed. I sat up and stood up beside her as she stood there with a frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She sighed. I just wanted to make sure. But she made me so warm, fuzzy and pleasant that it made my skin tingle. It could have been the armor as well but eh...I wanted to make her feel...better. I felt selfish in wanting her near me but I ultimately knew that I could help her. Like I always have.

"What if...what if we don't survive? What if Mercer dominates and kills us before we even have a chance to strike?" She stated.

I browed and stood firm, despite her riling me up with her closeness. Instead, I turned her around via grabbing her shoulders and spinning her to me. I then grabbed her hand, still a bit wrecked, and pulled her towards me. I sat on the bed, then put her on my lap. She bit her lip, which was...just...cute. Do I normally use those words? I don't think so. My heads a bit...muffled by all this. Apologies. My guess you wouldn't normally have this type of connection with other people normally. It became natural between us and I liked that. That great feeling you get from holding another and letting them know they're alright.

Aye, I never ever do this. Petra is my exception and...my love...Gods, I am so bad at this.

But as I stare into her hazy eyes once more, my lips ache to touch hers. I wanted a taste for myself to know for sure that what my heart was telling was more than true. Just...let me...once have some kind of happiness. I'm a thief...and doubts that cloud my mind hold me back constantly. But how am I ever going to know what it is if I don't find out. It just seemed so disrespectful to take advantage of her like that. But we were touching one another and I found my eyes wandering and smoothing at her lips. My heart could jump out of my chest

"Petra...I...uh..you're...uh...Shor.. _.this_..." I stumbled badly.

The power of my words no longer worked. But she smiled at me.

She then rested her head and cradled it on my chest underneath my chin. She just wanted me to hold her. And hold her I will. I caressed her with my thumb, even though she was wearing armour. And it was then as I embraced her with my arms, that she too, was tense and shaking as much as me.

I was...making the lass nervous as well? How careless of me? But maybe she was waiting for something.

"Bryn...if it's not too much to ask...can I...can I stay here with you? I just want...I just want to be..here...with you. I feel better when you're...near..." She stuttered.

I had to swallow my own saliva again. I nodded. She wanted to be here...with me. Of course. I'd love to!

"Aye, sure." I spoke softly.

I laid back on the bed, still wracked with nerves. Both of us were really clumsy and ungainly as we fumbled about, trying to find a comfortable position. I guess we were both messed up in terms of having no idea what we were doing.

Okay, I'll be honest again like I was before. I've...never actually been with a woman. I've practiced flirting but been too busy to uh...chase...ahem...yeah I am kinda shameful of that. But I just want this to go right. But after hearing what happened between her and Mercer, I didn't want to trigger anything yet, not until and if she's willing, to uh...sort of...you know...the thing...that's if she's okay with and if she does actually feel the same way about me...of course. I'd know what to do...it's not like I've never...read up...on those...uhhh...things

Shor's skull I was burning up. We at last found something that was comfortable after silently apologizing to one another for the past few minutes. It was amusing to know how useless both of us were about this. I guess neither of us have been this intimate with anyone it seems...or maybe because it was actually a single bed.

I heard her giggle softly as we adjusted ourselves. It was a game to her as I smiled lightly and rolled my eyes. She'd laid half her body on me and her head continued to rest itself into the crook of my neck. One arm was weighed down but then found its way around her back. She wrapped her arm of what she could of my own body. I kept forgetting how big I was to her. No! Not in that way!

I felt her warm, heavy breath on my neck and it gave me goosebumps. I smiled and looked down at her, who squeezed me.

"We'll sleep...then we kick Mercer's ass." She said softly with smile.

Thank my nerves I squeezed her back, before we finally fell asleep.


	31. Irkngthand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra's overgeneralizes her emotional situation, as her feelings for Brynjolf fluctuate. The trio make it to the Dwemer ruin to face down Mercer, as bad blood surfaces. In more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Divergence of canon, incoming...

I was tired, I'd admit, but I couldn't help but think of Molag's words. I wanted to be seen as strong to live but I'd rather not have all the attention on me, if that was okay. But when you're someone like me, it gets harder to avoid all the people out for your blood, and that doesn't stop at the mortals.

I...laid with Brynjolf because I just wanted someone close to me and he as the only one I could just feel comfortable and relaxed with. But he doesn't deserve the crap he puts up with. I don't deserve him since all this time I feel like I've just been a burden on him, yet he hardly complains. I think he might even enjoy it. I don't know, man's hard to read sometimes. But I needed a warm body near me to make sure I was still alive. And every time I was even remotely close to Bryn, I was a lot happier. Not many people can claim that. I've done my work for the Guild and earned the respect from my comrades (at least, I'd like to believe I have). Months ago, I stated the distance between me and anyone else to tell them to stay out of my own business. But Bryn and Karliah were the ones who refused to back down on me after I'd been incredibly stubborn.

After...Mercer, I didn't think Bryn would even dare to look at me. I'm cursed for bad luck in more ways than one. I want a piece of happiness, just to experience it once without events turning south for the worst. But he's just...a big, cuddly, teddy bear. Scruffy and scrappy, all the same.

The thoughts quite amusing I assure you friend. The way his rugged face smiled at me and his red hair often got caught in his face. My face gets equally red thinking about it. But then I think about what I have to do and wonder if I'm even worth the pain and agony in the end. I want to be free of this...restraint but it buckles me down to Oblivion every time I try to reach out.

If I'm honest with myself, touching...Bryn, just let me know I was still on Nirn. I wanted to hear his breath and his voice and that was the only thing I cared about...truly. And Karliah of course, she hasn't been around this long but I hold the utmost respect for her.

But this was not the type of situation the Guild was used to. The powers of strange and old magics afoot, and we were smack in the middle of it. We're your over the top thugs but our connection to another realm took the Guild to another level. Again, with Bryn taking this on his stride, all for revenge on Mercer, is just the sacrifice needed to give us an edge. I felt sorry for him, having to kill his own mentor. Bryn was both paradoxically subtle and overly emotional. He'd stuttered his words around. Funny. He can give but he can't take. He's given so much for the Guild and for me personally that he's not used to stuff given to him. He's a thief, he just steals.

And, I really apologize for this horrendous pun, but I'm pretty sure, he'd stolen my heart.

Occasionally I get the pit in my gut, I'd get it confused with sensations of guilt and the fear. I do feel slightly more confident with the new get up, but ultimately, I can't make sense of what I'm actually supposed to be feeling. It wasn't as raw, but it was certainly up there in the mass of tangled emotions. Bryn is a good man, but he's just misguided, like me...

I understand that thieving was all he knew, but he could be better than what he is. I've never underestimated him for his skills. I've only just wanted to protect him, like he's protected me. He deserves a lot more than what he's gotten and I will make sure he gets the best of life. We both hold ourselves back for a variety of reasons. For me, just torrents of gargantuan creatures just want to kill me for what I am. I am supposed to be a threat to them. I don't feel like that threat though. The Gods wanted me for something big and I'm trying to wrap my head around why still.

But Bryn just...how can I say it...gets involved when it's not his problem to deal with. Dragons I mean. I want him with me to see the Greybeards of course and we'll get there, I know it. We'd hold hands, making sure one another doesn't fall. But I highly doubt they'll take in a nobody. Especially from someone from the Thieves Guild. A liar, a scoundrel. The stereotypical traits of our kind. But we're still Nords at heart.

As he held me there that night, I slept better. I dreamed better dreams. Dreams that just filled in the wounds and made me forget the troubles for a bit. It was pleasant. Because Bryn was just there, holding me and not letting go.

When we were staring at each other, silently, I watched his eyes dart around my face. We must have been floating as his face was just, oddly relaxed but I could see sweat dripping from his forehead. I'd been wracking his nerves a bit lately haven't I? How selfish of me. Heh...

I wanted..to feel the brush of his beard against my face, then his cracked lips to clash with mine, tongues having a sword fight with one another. I longed to taste his mouth. But...

Having said that, would have locked us in a rousing uncertainty for the both of us and what we wanted and expected out of each other. Men like him don't come around that often. And Gods be damned things were complicated as is!

 _Buuuut_  enough about that. I could be sappy all day can't I? Although when I did awaken, I was somehow on my side, with Brynjolf still sleeping but now behind me, spooning me, to my embarrassment...

I stayed there for a bit, not wanting to disturb him. He had his chest rubbing up against my back and I smiled at his breathing and shivered as his breath made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

But then again I felt, something slither on my lower back. Somewhat smooth...though it was just awkward considering we were still in the armour and cloaks and stuff were everywhere. Not exactly good sleeping gear.

I was astounded, eyes widened when something hard was causing friction against my lower back. Surely he was asleep? By the Gods...

I must have blushed really badly. To consider the very thought of...his actual...arousal was disturbing and oddly mirthful. But I couldn't let him do that. Or did I?

Mercer's...own..degrading spiked memories. But this was Brynjolf, I could trust him. I was hesitant and dark clouds loomed over head. I was sure he knew when to stop.

The rubbing began more rigid and constant. I gulped.

" _Mmmm..._ " He moaned softly.

By Talos...seriously? My face flushed and I put my hand in between my legs, biting my lip as my loins began to have a warm sensation.

Petra, don't...I know you like it but this wasn't the time nor place for doing such things.

Was Mercer right? Did Brynjolf...just want to get in my pants this entire time? I wouldn't believe it. He's just...dreaming. He's gotta be.

" _Mmmm Petra..._ "

I gritted my teeth and made an awkward expression then shook my head as a pang hit me and all sorts of dread got into my mind, bringing back bad memories.

I elbowed him in the gut, then jumped off the bed. I'd been met with an  _oof_  upon contact, startling Bryn awake and holding his stomach, having such a rude...awakening.

"By Shor...urgh...what was that for?" He asked, left gasping.

I stood there, left unhappy and with a scowl on my face. I rested my centre of gravity on one side with my arms crossed. So not pleased since...the event still left me slightly scarred.

"Because Little Bryn decided he'd like to get into the action." I scolded, eyeing the thing off with irritation.

Brynjolf looked down briefly and got almost fell off the bed. Karliah, funnily enough, was no where to be seen. Must have been waiting for us outside or something. Poor Dunmer puts up with a lot of crap. She has been waiting twenty-five years, so I'd predict she had a lot of patience. I think.

He then got up and adjusted himself.

"Oh...oh. Apologies Petra I-"

"Save it Bryn, Mercer was right, you just wanted a little R&R didn't you?" I berated with a deathly stare.

He shook his head and back-pedaled quite quickly. I honestly couldn't tell. I was just mad at it. He's knew what had happened and yet...

"Lass no..I...I didn't mean it I swear!" He called out, his voice low with shame. Typical males. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't bother. Let's just go. Karliah is waiting for us outside."

* * *

We made the trip with our horses to go up to Irkngthand. Karliah to the lead and I followed. I couldn't bare to look at Brynjolf at the moment. I'd...I was mad at him but I didn't hate him. I wanted to understand but I thought it'd be best for the both of us to stay clear of one another for the moment. I can't risk him like this. It was too complicated for me to see things and my emotions were in constant flux. But I concentrated and treated this as any other job that was required of me. If I stayed away from Bryn, we would be able to get this done quicker and be on our way.

We passed the woods of the Rift, passed Windhelm and into the northern snowy sector of the province. We parked our horses nearby and came across the exterior of the dwemer ruin. This must have been the place.

It was packed with bandits and with the three of us we took them down with ease. But each of us were killing them with such graceful movements of our bows and our daggers. None of them stood a chance. Nocturnals gift was really shining through.

Our bodies flowed around like a river of quicksilver, our capes flying around in the tendrils of the wind. We were ebony-caste shadows contrasting against the harsh white snow and glistened alongside the brass-like metals that adorned the ruins themselves, as if they were only built yesterday.

Soon the outside was filled with dead bodies and splashes of crimson. None of them stood a chance, as the screams ceased. What a blood bath.

We found the entrance and wandered inside.

It was like your typical Dwemer ruin. Filled with automatons, Falmer...we came across dead bodies...more bandits though they were like that when we got there. Mercers doing, no doubt. We navigated our way through various traps. We went in deeper, finding Mercer sneaking up on a Falmer and assassinating it. Brynjolf tried to find a way around but grumbled when he couldn't We proceeded and fought off more dwemer and automatons. But then once it was quiet again, we tried to sneak around a bit more.

It'd been tense between the three of us, all having different reasons for hating Mercer. Karliah, for framing her, Brynjolf for lying to him and to me, for...THAT.

But we all agreed that he'd betrayed the Guild and now that you think about it, was actually the reason for the Guilds decline. If what Karliah had said was true, then Mercer was the cause of our luck running dry. He really must have it in for Nocturnal or something. I don't full know the wider scope of it all. He had to die. Simple as that.

The three of us were all angry, furious even. But we functioned well as a team and I could feel confidence in that. Working together, for the first time, felt...good. We all trusted one another with our lives and it was crucial, that we believed in ourselves. Perhaps that is the true power, of the Nightingale Trinity.

We kept our cool, watched each others backs. I took this as experience when ever the time came and I had to face a dragon again. As much as I hated it, I knew it would inevitable and unavoidable.

Which was why I had to buckle myself down and work through the narrow paths in this maze phobias and find courage at the end of it. I actually looked forward to it, believe it or not. To get out there and the goal, ultimately to speak with the Greybeards became my light at the end of the tunnel and eventually, the start of something great.

Traipsing in the dark worked to our advantage, given our rigorous experience in the shadows. We'd narrowly avoiding getting detected by large groups of Falmer the further in the ruins we went and the darker it got. Finally, we'd eventually reached towards the end and had to work to very cautious about what was about to happen next.

So this was ultimately for Gallus and for the Guild.

* * *

We carefully entered the final chamber, which nearly sent me awestruck at giant statue of an elf, from what I'd read, it'd been a Snow Elf before they degraded into the abominable falmer. We heard shuffling towards its head, seeing Mercer picking out some kind of white glowing stone from its eye socket.

"He's here and he hasn't seen us yet. Brynjolf, watch the door." I heard Karliah whisper.

"Aye, lass. Nothing's getting by me." Brynjolf replied.

Karliah then turned to me. This had to be planned carefully.

"Climb down that ledge and see if you can..."

Sudden silence.

"Karliah, when will you learn you can't get the drop on me?" Mercer called out, scaring the Oblivion out of me.

The ground started the shake beneath us. We'd fallen down slightly, but we still gained foot hold. Mercer dropped down from where he was and walked on to the book park of the statue, overlooking me.

I could feel that same stare piercing right through, like it did that one time outside Snow Veil Sanctum. My heartbeat rate went up and I was already sweating.

"When Brynjolf brought you before me I could feel a sudden shift in the wind. And at that moment, I knew it would end with one of us at the end of a blade." Mercer called out to me. There something even darker in him that I saw this time but I wasn't sure what it was.

"But...I sense you've met out mutual friend. Haven't you? Hmph...so, it went exactly as he'd predicted it would."

I squinted at him, having no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't care who's told you what. You're not getting away with this!" I called out to him, with all the spite I could muster.

Mercer though spat on my attempts and gave an evil smirk and chuckle, brushing me off easily.

"Very well then. I'm not surprised you're still alive. I hold nothing but contempt for you but your skills as a Thief are nearly on par with mine. But I have bigger plans ahead. You see, our friend set this all up. For you."

I blinked. Brynjolf and Karliah stepped forward in front of me.

"What in blazes are you talking about Mercer?" Brynjolf questioned. I could hear the disdain in the red-haired mans tone.

Mercer held the key in his hand. I wandered further to observe the daedric artifact in his hand. With all that smugness was just. UGH!

"Nocturnal was a fool. She gave us this tool to use for limitless wealth. After I'd pledged myself to Molag Bal, I would be set free from the confounds of mortality...and given more potential and power than anyone could imagine!" Mercer boasted. His voice gave me shivers but I refused to stand down.

"Petra. Sweet,  _dear_  Petra. You were the funnest I had to play with. But we haven't finished just yet."

He stated. I gulped but continued to glare at him with powerful venom.

"You're  **insane**  Mercer!" Karliah cried. Her voice had never been so...intense before.

And I actually heard Bryn growling. This was getting interesting yet scary at the same point. I remained focused. I heard scuffling about, when I looked behind me as Bryn started to attack Karliah. What in Oblivion...

"What's... what's happening... I can't stop myself." Brynjolf cried out, swinging his blades at the dunmer.

"Fight it, Brynjolf... he's taken control of you!" Karliah shouted.

_That bastard..._

"I'm sorry lass, I... I can't..." Brynjolf sounded so saddened and frustrated with himself. I couldn't let this happen.

"Damn you Mercer!" Karliah was busy defending herself, not wanting to hurt Bryn.

And that just made me...snap.

I felt it boil up from my stomach and through my veins. I felt so angry and wanted to kill Mercer so much, but I'd acted calm as I put my bow away, and pulled out both the Nightingale blade and the blade Chillrend, that I stole from Mercers house. I wanted him to die by his own weapon of mass destruction. I wanted him to bleed. I wanted him to suffer, as I had suffered.

I charged at him with the bulk of my strength, but slowly. Mercer crawled around like a coward and often disappeared out of nowhere. We had our major skirmish as we crossed blades in the clashes of the fierce, enchanted metals. But Mercer made that face that just made me ill, but the fire in me was too strong to ignore as I continued my attempts to take the monster down.

We must have gone up and down the staircases nearby. I had to take advantage of what I had. We met on the top of the head of the statue. He forced me to step back. He had his sword ready, but was deliberately walking forward and I knew he was attempting to drop me off it.

No chance.

I dived forward, rolling underneath his swing and forced him into the same position he was at. I held my blades to him. I had one power he could never have.

"Well looky here, someone's learned to defend themselves. It's a damn wasted effort though. Molag will get what he wants." Mercer stated.

I still didn't care what who wanted. All I cared about was Mercer, dead. I smirked myself this time. I wasn't sure if that my expression was getting to him, but he was prepared to take anything I'd throw at him.

Good.

I inhaled deeply...

" ** _FUS!"_**  I shouted, sending a gust of powerful winds towards Mercer. It was enough force to knock him off his feet, much to his surprise. He stumbled a bit, before falling off the head.

Good.

The fire in me burned with a brighter intensity. I ran and jumped off the head myself with my two blades pointing towards. I fell down, seeing Mercer on his back. I laded on his body with a big thud, digging my blades into his chest and screaming at him. I heard the scuffling nearby stop for a moment, but I was busy searching for the despair and regret in Mercer's face.

Instead, he still had that same stupid expression and actually laughed as blood poured from his mouth. I gritted my teeth as I dug the blades in deeper, making him gasp.

"What's so damned funny?" I breathed coldly. So much had lead to this. This had to be the end!

"You're talented, but you're not very bright are you?" Mercer sputtered out.

Mercer liked to make those stupid taunts of nonsense.

I looked down as I felt a moist feeling in my gut. I saw blood drip from my torso. I pressed my finger against it and looked at the crimson on the tips on my fingers.

**Shit.**

He wrenched his blade in harder, like I had done to him and I winced and gasped.

" **PETRA!** " Brynjolf shouted in disbelief.

I tasted iron in my mouth and it was my turn for blood to drip out. I felt a flush, then suddenly felt cold and numb. I'd been blind to the pain itself. I began coughing it up, but I made sure I coughed it up in Mercer's stupid face.

"You and I have unfinished business with our master." He said coldly, without flinching. He could he remain so calm while his organs were bleeding out.

I glared at him, struggling to breath, with every time I inhaled it stung all over. I became mostly numb to everything as static started ringing in my ears, deafening me to the world. If I died here, I would take Mercer with me and let the Gods decide my fate. I wasn't sure if this was what had to be done or what. It was never clear. The Gulild was my priority and as I cried more in frustration that in pain, I gritted my teeth and spat on him again as I was desperate for air, my breath becoming laboured and intense.

Brynjolf and Karliah better get the Oblivion out!

" **MOLAG, TAKE US!** " Mercer roared, with a redness covering both his eyes that spilled confusion and darkness within me.

I saw a flash of an unnatural violet and everything went dark.

_Unthankfully..._


	32. Coldharbour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Petra falls into another realm, bloodied and wounded, she finds the only thing keeping her alive is pure hatred as matters escalate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: We see the extent of an extremely pissed off Petra, I wrote it in a way where her anger was making her thoughts bounce all over the place as canon takes a nosedive.

 

It becomes such an enigma, that everything after Helgen became less boring, but more dangerous, but why did nothing happen before hand? Was Cyrodiil that much of a hindrance to the eager, destructive and tenacious people? Did it become useless after the war? The Aldmeri Dominion made their point, but now we have worse things to worry about.

Now I feel like a hindrance. To everybody. All these terrible events that happen to me. You wonder why I'd bother to keep going. I'll linger if I have to. I won't die until I'm destined to. Dragonborns exist for a reason and I highly doubt this was going to be the way it was intended. A speckle in the streams of time, a blemish on the course of destiny. That sort of crap.

Getting stabbed certainly doesn't help matters. For a thief like me, you stare at me and wonder what part of life will involve the crucial parts the Gods placed me in. Did they know all this would occur? Did they foresee it? Do they do nothing because interference is forbidden among the omnipresent?

I'd rage against the Gods themselves but you face facts and know it's futile. I'm just...getting tired.

I'm Doom-driven. Petra Doom-Driven. I'll have a nord name given to me one day. For now I'm just Petra.

Petra the Dragonborn Thief. I steal souls for a living. Dunno, not up to me decide. Dovahkiin is a common moniker in the Dragon tongue I believe. What ever was up all those years of deplorable studies.

Yet, Talos looks down upon me. I sense his eyes on me, ever watchful. I am him reincarnate.

Yes I'm talking to you Talos, who knows what I am and what I am capable of. Your buddy Akatosh gives birth to my immortal spirit and I'm wondering why?

Questions like that never get answered. The constant question I ask myself all the time. Why all the commotion and hassle for someone like me?

I am a hunter and I am hunted. I am supposed to be a conqueror like you? Have you actually watched me? I'm been tossed around like a piece of meat. I am nothing like you. A miserable pile of bones and flesh while you sit on your throne of steel, light and shadow.

* * *

I'd awoken with the sharp pain in my gut, By the Gods how many times have I been stabbed there already? But the world I was in definitely wasn't in the ruins I was in before. The sky was aflame with a dark blue blaze and the scent of this place tended to changed rapidly. I wanted to prong my nose since it'd go from sweet-scent to rancid in split seconds. I spat more blood out as I attempted to stand. I found the Nightingale blade and Chillrend lying on the ground nearby, next to a drop trail of blood that lead into the darkness.

Dead black trees dotted the landscape as I standing on the middle of the blue hue ground. Looking around, I could a lake of a disgusting black sludge that bubbled about. Gross.

I hobbled around, pressing my hand against my wound. I couldn't see much, since this realm was so dark.

I remembered Mercer ranting about something before the lights went out. With the reclamation of my blades, the origin of the trail became obvious. I held the Nightingale Blade in one hand, since it'd obviously was hard carrying two mind you. I'd like to carry both but you know, when you're pretty much bleeding to death, you don't have much choice.

I kept following the trickles, staggering about and feeling light headed and out of breath. As smells developed, my nose burned under it's influences. I don't think I want to smell a damn thing if I get out of here alive.

I gasped for air with nearly every slow dragged step, but it was often cut short with a hiss when the pain sometimes got too unbearable. I could see cracks of a blue light emerging from the earth nearby, going towards a giant tower in the distance.

What ever drove me to head there was anyone's guess. But you know, the blood trail did head in that direction after all. Mercer would have headed there of course. Because dramatic situations like this demand dramatic endings inside creepy buildings and over-the-top soliloquies. Cliché.

Bear with me though. I'm just, you of all people know me by now. I'm putting one foot in front of the other, inhaling, exhaling and pushing past the pain. Isn't that what heroes do?

I am a damned thief. What made you think that a thief would make a good choice in all of this? Seriously. One of my daily repeatable questions. I'll carry on for you, friend. I'm not dead just yet.

Eventually I got to the tower. Amazing how I survived, but in the loss of blood, I fell before it's height. It looked like it was riddled in excrement, it's once shining white now stained in a terrible brown mess. Disgusting. Spires were placed around it, its curved shape heavily damaged.

"I should have known you'd be alive."

I was on my hands and knees, grasping my blade in my hand and under pressure to breath heavily. I looked up to see Mercer, standing before me in his 'humble' arrogance and just complacent smile. There was something definitely off about him this time.

"I'm not surprised either. But, both of us are here. You brought me here. I'd wager you'd want to finish this in a way that will make history. That will call upon us to make into the books." I mocked as I glared at him.

Mercer crossed his arms. His armour was still bloodied, but his eyes were fierce garnets and glistened underneath the harsh burnt sky. I knew something was off indeed, prior to all this maybe, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"I'm sensing you like the taste of the past. So do I. Here's a lesson. Molag Bal once attempted to merge this world with Nirn back in the second era. So the crap that went on during the Oblivion Crisis, had nothing on that." He explained, still full of the superior hot air he so accumulated.

I rose an eyebrow.

"So...you're gonna make it happen again?" I asked sarcastically. I'm almost stunned I had the strength to be sarcastic. Now who's the arrogant one?

Mercer shook his head though.

"No...no. That stuffs not for me. I wouldn't mind if it did. But you see that tower over there?"

I looked at the disgusting piece of crap.

"What about it?"

Mercer chuckled. Gods I wanted to shove my blade so down is damn throat the tip would rip out his ass and split him in two.

"That's this realms version of the White Gold Tower. You're from Cyrodiil aren't you? I'm disappointed you didn't recognise it."

He was right. I was a Nord living in Cyrodiil but never got the chance to visit the Imperial City. Would have been nice to see it still if I wasn't tied to Skyrim. But my heart sunk just looking at it.

"Molag gave it to me as a gift. My new home. Beautiful isn't it? Represents the same muck that Mundus has, the tainted, the broken. Perfect for someone like you."

I growled at him and gnarled my teeth. His lies, all of them, were just one big, horribly stinking jokes.

"Very funny Mercer." I muttered with sarcasm once more.

"I like how you compare it to yourself."

Mercer's creepy smile widened, revealing oddly sharpened teeth.

"Oh I don't mind. It's homely enough. Soon to be home to you as well. Molag likes you. It's rare Molag even lets weaklings like you live but I'm willing to stake my chances that he sees you as a potential daughter."

I blinked and regained my foothold after coughing up more blood.

"What are you on about?"

He grinned. Those teeth...the eyes. It makes sense now. No wonder I felt such odd vibes earlier.

"See, Molag informed me of your...little problem. And I think we can help each other. You're Dragonborn which I thought it was nothing but a joke at first but when you shouted at me I originally thought you were just too pretty and young to be considered as one of the Greybeards."

I rolled my eyes. Shameless. Absolutely shameless.

"There's...a certain ritual that can make you into people like me. A pure, blooded vampire."

My eyes widened. By the Gods...

I gritted my red-stained teeth. I have no idea how this idea came into his dumbass brain. For all I knew, Mercer was just a classical jerk, keen to all the thieving and sneaking but this? I wanted to laugh about how stupid that sounded coming out of his draugr-stinking mouth.

"Ritual? What makes you think I'm willing to partake in such a pathetic abstraction? What good does making me a Vampire do?"

Mercer pouted. My desire to rip his face off grew with every moment. Must be the light-headedness.

"Molag made me his pawnbroker for the occasion. See, you died that day at Snow Veil Sanctum, except you survived. Don't exactly know how but you know what? Doesn't matter. We can still do this regardless."

I gave a strained chuckle. Oh he underestimated me  _so, so much._

"Karliah saved my life. The woman you tried to frame, saved me. You see, so many people that you've wronged are biting you in the ass as we speak."

My voice was hoarse but I didn't care. The hatred I had for this...monster was overwhelming.

I felt something cold grab my neck but couldn't see it. I was dragged off the ground via some kind of invisible hand and bashed up against the wall of the tower.

"How ironic..." Mercer said coldly, an echo in his voice started to stir.

"I don't think anyone will be able to bite as hard as me...you see..."

He dropped me as I tried to stand, but I got my grip on a nearby ledge. My vision was a touch blurred, coming in and out of focus. I watched Mercer's body being encased in a cocoon of blood.

I shield myself as it exploded, revealing a gangling looking creature, with grey skin, thin bone structure wings and a horrifying face, adorned with odd gold-coloured jewels, like some weird ass crown and a red patterned loin cloth. Almost naked, his hands were long and thin, with claw like finger nails.

He snarled out me with his elongated fangs and dead eyes of ebony. He floated there, baring down on me coldly.

"This is what we're giving you Petra. Molag has chosen you to lead and partake in a fantastic expedition to cause chaos and destruction where ever you go." He boasted, his voice even more garbled and chaotic. You'd swear I was in a terribly written book right now.

I bared a sarcastic and withheld a grunt of pain as it shot through me from my wound like fire coursing through my body in small pangs.

"Mercer...you're truly mad. I have no love for any of that. My only love is to see your head rolling around the ground and being desecrated." I shouted, hissing through my teeth.

His laugh echoed around me, sending chills. I wasn't going to let this get to me. I just had to keep thinking now about pathetic he really was. It became apparent that I did not fear him. He was no dragon. I only pitied him.

"But wouldn't you be a Queen of the Night? The way you can still steal from those around you a lot easier with abilities that improve your skills a Master Thief like me..." He boasted, clenching his fist.

"You enjoyed our time in the snow. I felt it within you. I gave you pleasure...you wriggled against me and thrashed about like a relentless whore."

I was shaking with rage. In all honesty, I knew Mercer as a jerk. But a jerk you had to follow. But the deeper you thought about it, the more some parts made sense. Like he was the King of Assholes.

"No..." I said calmly. "You stole my dignity. You're a Master Thief alright. But you're also a Master Prick."

Mercer laughed. Looking back now, I wonder how he came to this conclusion.

"Gotta steal something darlin'. You know, like you know, your female associates from the Guild."

I looked around me as familiar figures walked towards Mercer. I squinted at them...one wearing brown thieves guild armour, another wearing the grey variant and another wearing the black Guild Master variant. I gasped with shock, but was cut off by the throbbing agony.

"The Guild is useless with Nocturnal. I have this key! We can have this key...together..." Mercer called out, taking the girls into his arms.

No...Sapphire...Vex...Tonilia...

"Mercer... _you._.." I sputtered out again, with tears rolling down my eyes. They surrounded him and stared at me. Their eyes. They had to be possessed or, they definitely weren't themselves. What in Oblivion. I was half-sobbing and half trying to catch what ever breath I had from all the fury left in my heart...that was growing stronger by the moment.

"So you think you can take matters into your own hands? No. Mercer. Enough is enough!"

I got up. And by the Gods did it hurt! It hurt so much but I refused to care and let it take me down. I charged forward, staggered and awkward and opened my mouth.

" _ **YOL!**_ " I shouted at him.

The flow of the flames surrounded him. He pushed the girls to the ground and disappeared into a cluster of bats, only to reappear behind me and wrap his arms around my body. Slippery bastard.

He put his mouth to my hear and the smell of his breath was much worse than what this realm could conjure up in the matter of seconds. I struggled against him.

" _I love it when you talk dirty..._ " He whispered in my ear...sounded like vomit to my ears.

"But this is Coldharbour...where only the strongest may win. Molag only wants the strongest...and nothing less."

I kicked and screamed as he dragged me inside the tower itself, and I watched the girls who had the most uncanny and out of character smiles follow us in and take their positions around me.

The room was decorated with various jewels and artefacts, none of which I'd never even seen before. A circle of stairs floated to the top with what must have been hundreds of doors.

The floor was marble with a black skull pattern.

Mercer plunked me on the floor in the middle. I held myself as I shook violently, baring my own teeth at him and my eyes giving out razor sharp stairs.

"You're still resisting. I see. So...here's what's going to happen. I'm going to finish the ritual. Okay, and then you'll become a pure-blooded Vampire like me, except you'll be on more equal grounds. Then we fight. We fight to see who's stronger. What do you think?"

I clenched and unclenched my spare fist.

"Or do I have to find ways to convince you? You may not care about your life...but I know how you want Brynjolf in the worst way possible. He's a good man I'll admit. I pity he's so involved in all of this. So loyal and talented. Reaped in a lot of gold for the guild until you came along and broke his spirit. Now he's just...so damned in love with you he can't think straight. And when you're in danger he's hot on your trail and is willing to die for you. He doesn't deserve that."

Oh no you don't. Don't you  _dare_  bring Bryn into this.

Mercer you Gods damned, twisted, contrived, blasted, contrived, messed up piece of  **SHIT!**

"You touch Bryn and you're...you're gonna burn you miserable wretch!  **I HOPE MOLAG TEARS YOU TO PIECES AND SHITS ON YOUR ENTRAILS!** " I roared.

I heard the girls laughing around me. Those laughs weren't normal. They never laughed. Which was more frighting if anything. Mercer floated closer and reached out with his arm, grabbing me again with his vampire magic, choking me.

"I promise I won't touch the lovesick fool. Only if you'll willing to get this over with."

This again? For goodness sake man, SHUT UP!

"How do I know you'll keep your promise?"

Mercer laughed.

"We both cheat, lie and steal to further our own ends. But Brynjolfs loyalty to the Guild is unlike any other. He's done a few things he's not proud of but he gets the job done because it's necessary AND without complaint. Unlike you..."

I smirked. Yes, rebellion against the monster was fun stuff indeed.

"Someone has to stand up to you Mercer. Some one has to have the gall to tell you what you can and cannot do. The world isn't  _yours_...and while our actions are the same. We have honour and a proper code to live by just to make sure we aren't compared to the common bandit. We're skilled and we know what we're doing."

Mercer growled and tilted his ugly head at me.

"Nocturnal doesn't care about you or anything to do with the Guild. Living by a code is useless and it wastes time. Especially when something as powerful as the Skeleton Key lays in my grasp."

I leered at him. I felt weaker by the moment, but was supported by pure rage and will.

"I'll let you think about your decision...meanwhile..."

I felt my legs and arms being stretched backwards as Mercer filled my head with gruesome imagery. I could see Vex coming closer to me with a dagger clasped in her hand. I winched as she dug the dagger with a painful slowness. I would have screamed but I stopped the noise by biting my lip hard. I groaned under the pressure.

"Keep trying bitch!" I called out, spitting out more blood.

"The more the better!" I teased.

I felt another dagger at my back. Tonilia's face was stone cold, twisting the blade in deeper.

" _Ack...Try... **again**_!" I taunted, struggling to breath.

It was Sapphire's turn. She put one into my chest, just inches away from my heart. I'd be willing to bet Mercer made her do that on purpose for some kind of stupid poetic nonsense. Typical males wanting to dominate and they love the show they pull acting out like they were God. No. I wasn't going to pulled around.

He didn't want to touch Brynjolf, yet if I didn't bow to his orders he'd kill the man. By the Gods he would do it to. He killed Gallus, a kind enough man who took Mercer in so I don't see any reason why he wouldn't kill Bryn.

But I bared the pain to think about and to plot my next move. I've endured much worse than this. I've lost more of myself if anything, spiritually. But he was right, I am a danger. A danger to Brynjolf who just didn't need this treatment. I was nothing but bad luck to him.

And to call upon Mercer's whim. To turn myself into a vampire. It wasn't something I'd ever see myself doing for the cause either...because they're smelly, rotten things. Makes sense Mercer would be one then.

But...Bryn...I...I loved him. I couldn't stand the thought of him being crushed and mocked under Mercers heel. Even so...even if I did give in and become nothing but a slave, he would kill Brynjolf anyway for associating himself with Karliah and Nocturnal...

And me...

Brynjolf, I am so,  _so_  sorry. But if I were to have the same strength, be on the same level as Mercer, I would utilise that power to decimate him.

I was bleeding to death yes and I went in and out of consciousness, but most importantly, I could still think and contemplate beyond the sharp agonies I was taking. I had to do this very carefully or else.

There were many pros and cons into becoming a Vampire. I would become stronger which would be a huge benefit...but saying that, not everyone likes a Vampire and be chased out of towns if anyone so much as saw me like this. I looked at the girls.. They were just Mercers thralls. What would happen if I became like that? In terms of falling for the same temptations this monstrosities caved for. No. I could will that away. I'd lock myself away and never come back.

But it became clearer that this had to be the sacrifice I was willing to take. I was dying as is and as much as I'd hate to say it...I needed the power to keep carrying on. I despised myself for even thinking it. I would endure in time and would eventually find a way. There was always a way.

I'd leave Brynjolf and the Guild but it was for the best. I was going to do them more harm then good. But for now, I wanted to pop the head of that snarky, sleazy bastard...once and for all.

"I've already lost so much of myself to you Mercer... There's not much left you can steal from and according to you, I'm already dead..so you better make this quick." I taunted with bated breath.

Then I'd thank him for turning me...and then destroy him. And make him regret every one of his mistakes.


	33. Fangs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra makes a sacrifice in exchange to help defeat Mercer, but the path to victory can get pretty bloody...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets...violent. Like...well...

 

The whole ceremony was degrading. I endured the pain of a thousand blades, but cast my mind elsewhere, like to a whole completely different realm of Oblivion. I was penetrated, violated, you name it. But I endured.

And survived.

I feel more comfortable talking about it now. I am no longer human, I don't feel sorry for myself. The others held me down while he did his dirty work on me. I paid no attention to him. I wouldn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me in pain.

I became numb enough to hardly acknowledge what he was doing. And I liked it. I liked seeing him annoyed and squirming to get my spirit down so hard. He's such an ugly thing. I waited and I waited and distanced myself from my own body for I knew what the future would hold for both of us.

Call it my own stint of arrogance and overconfidence. I was beginning to hold on to the hope of surviving because this wasn't how I was meant to die it all. My ideal was to die in glory of destroying the dragons; all of them. I may be in deeper fear of them still, to this day, but for now, I never felt more empowered by myself.

I think I actually confused Mercer a bit. And pretended I enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure he wanted to see me cry and scream but my absolute silence was pissing him off.

_Good._

You know he's made his mistake of messing with me. And he'll  _definitely_  pay for it.

After he'd...finished the ritual, I fell back to the ground, hot and flustered by the physical experience. He'd gone back into his...breton form and looked at me. I was butt naked, but my faith in Nocturnal allowed me to bring back the gift of the armour, surrounding me once more after Mercer had ripped it off with his talons. I was surrounded in black smoke for the moment before embracing the comfortable protective guide of Nocturnal herself.

I could tell Mercer was shocked. He had to be. He had to be furious that after all this time Nocturnal still called me her Nightingale. He sneered. Good. Be annoyed, be afraid...

_You've given me strength you son of a bitch!_

"Welcome to the fold, Daughter of Coldharbour. Though it seems you're still in Nocturnals good books. Amusing..." Mercer assured. His welcoming sickened me.

My hot and flustered self lingered. I felt change and death inside of me. No matter. I was...well, more undead if anything but I was embroiled with new confidence.

"You're right. I  _did_  enjoy it. Only to see your adorable face make those stupid faces. You're terrible actually, to be honest. That is definitely how you don't please a woman. You must take care of her and she'll take care of you. They call it lovemaking for a reason you know."

Mercer growled. Awww I hurt his pride.

"I don't care about lovemaking. I have done what Molag has asked. Now you're one of us. There is no turning back..."

I shrugged. I would deal with the consequences later.

"Okay, fair enough then. I'm a pure blooded vampire. And you said, you wanted us to be equals? Okay...let's go for it then." I told him, my voice more gravely and demonic.

Mercer laughed.

"I'd thought you'd never ask."

* * *

You could call me insane for trying and wonder how I got into this mess. It wouldn't be my first choice, I'll tell you that. But experience tells me evil comes in different forms. Just never expected to get to this. We're the sort not trying to get this religious notion mixed up in our jobs but at the end of the day, there was always some kind of force behind our actions. Mercer held the guise of being an ordinary grumpily, old miser and yet his current desires were on par with shadowy mages.

I wanted to be under the belief that Mercer wouldn't have been tempted out of nowhere...someone or something had happened that influenced him that way. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to dwell on such questions. My priority was survival.

I wouldn't have done it lightly but my choices were limited and I had to take the risk. I'd honestly rather be a Werewolf.

I brought forth the new power inside of me. I held myself in close. I'd never done this before but the energies flowed through my veins like nothing I'd ever felt before. Blood surrounded me as cocoon, like Mercer did before. I bore through the absolute agony that the change brought me as my form shifted and adjusted itself, the spike of shock that spiked out of my back.

I burst out of the cocoon, feeling new sensations all around me and looking at myself with renewed awe, checking my bony thin hands and structure. Ugly but still prettier than the ass in front of me.

"Now  _that's_  what I like to see!" Mercer exclaimed. He was very excited about this. And you know what?

So was I.

I extended those thin wing things I had. I was surprised how quickly I adjusted to this, forgetting that my feet were barely touching the ground. But the blood magic flowed right through me. I felt hungry for blood itself though. I expected no less from being a vampire...but luckily I was only out for Mercers blood...so it was okay...I think...

He quickly transformed himself as well and roared into the air. This was going to be good. It almost scared me to think I was looking forward to make meat of him. I had to make strategy. Like I would with any kind of job. One wrong move and I'd be done for. My eyes went to my poor controlled colleagues.

I didn't want the girls harmed, so I attempted Mercer's technique to throw them out of the tower, but it didn't work. He laughed.

"They're not going anywhere. They're going to observe and they're going to relay this information to the Guild, that you have cost them greatly by framing me and attempting to kill me as Vampire..." He taunted, throwing a spell at me that I barely dodged.

"And you're nowhere as skilled with this as I am. You thought you could get away with trying to overpower me..."

I  _knew_  it...

I charged at him anyway and hissed as I tried to claw him. Nocturnal, give me strength.

We must have tumbled around a lot and kept dodging and weaving around one another. I underestimated him greatly, so it would seem.

Damn it.

I tried as hard as I could though...we jumped at each other, swiped and made each other bleed. We kept hissing and digging the claws in our wings at one another.

Mercer took hold of me and flew us upwards, which took forever. How tall was this tower? We finally reached the top of the tower and smashed right through the roof. We floated there, scarred and bloodied, but they soon healed rather quickly for both us underneath the fire-ridden skies.

"See isn't this fun?" He spoke of it as if it were a game and that from the thrills of violence that he was current reveling in, as he released the true abomination inside of him.

"We could do this for an eternity. I'm impressed that despite your lack of experience you're capable and worthy of this form. Molag favours you greatly. I'm almost a little jealous." Mercer exclaimed.

A compliment that would otherwise be welcomed, but not from his tongue.

"I don't plan on fighting you for that long. No. I have some place I need to be. I was born to be someone and I intend to follow through with that, as long as it takes!" I said with confidence.

Mercer chuckled. Seriously, stop acting like you know all the little hidden secrets.

"You'll be hunted. You will be hated. No one will accept you for who you are now. That's fine. You can stay here with me. We can look down on the mere mortals as nothing but blood beef for the taking." He mocked.

I shook my head. Still don't think that's Mercer talking. Suddenly I knew how Brynjolf felt.

"No. I will find a way and you will  **NOT STOP _ME!_** " I roared; louder than intended.

He growled and shot towards me as he battled one another in the sky-fire. Molag must be having lots of fun watching us duke it out above the fake White-Gold Tower.

"You can still fight the dragons. Spit in the face of the Gods who made them! We both have this power and I can teach you how to use it!" He called out to me, before I dodged his wingclaw aiming for my back.

"I will kill dragons my way..." I spoke with venom and a low tone. I aimed for his throat, with splutters of blood spilling everywhere.

"Suit yourself." He said, with a devilish glint in his eye.

He grabbed hold of me and bit me by my neck, with blood trickling down. I headbutted him off me and I shoved my wing claws into his mouth. With enough power, I tore his ugly face open, ripping out.

Just as I said it would. And it felt so  _good_.

He became more ugly because the mess I was making. I'd torn his precious teeth out. It appeared I had to lose what was left of my own humanity to destroy him. To make him into a mockery of what he had done to me. I will violate him instead.  _Violate_  the remnants of his sanity,  _violate_  his confidence,  _violate_  his cock-sureness.

"Big... _mistake_!"

I grabbed hold of him and flew downwards with increasing speed. We fell down the same hole in the tower. I put him underneath me and forced his body with a mighty force into the middle of the of the floor, with rocks and other debris flying everywhere I smashed him through the ground. I jumped off him, looking around. I then felt something in my hand.

I almost jumped as I saw the Mace of Molag Bal in my hands, in all it's spiky and green glowing glory. I'd almost forgotten about it. How it returned to me...Molag.

I walked over to Mercer, who's face was still torn, seeing the insides of his mouth and the flesh and blood everywhere. He was healing, but very slowly.

" _You ungrateful whore!_ " He choked as he struggled to get up. He hammered in the end of his wings into the ground. **No.**

I found the Nightingale Blade nearby and chopped both of them off, making him fall into the ground again.

I pressed my foot against his sweaty, grey and veiny chest and dropped the blade on the floor. I leaned over my knee and tilted my ugly mug against the man as I leered at him and gritted my teeth.

"Molag wanted me...to  _destroy_  you." I spoke with an eery softness and calm tone.

Mercer coughed.

"I gave him everything he wanted. And this is how he repays me?" He said with actual disbelief.

Betrayal. Fitting.

"You've caused enough pain and anguish Mercer. It is only appropriate that I be the one to decimate you." I said, so coldly I could freeze the air in front of me.

He growled.

"Okay then, let me live... _urgh_...and I'll serve you. You'd make a fine Guild Master I'm sure of it." He spat.

I gave him a smile that put the fear of his God in him. Or Daedra. Such words spilling from a coward.

"It's too late Mercer. I will unleash it all upon you...no mercy and no holding back. Your spirit will linger here in the ashes of the Coldharbour you called home. Let's see if Molag prefers you."

I rose the mace up into his face...his form then morphed back to his original self. He was so pathetic.

His face reforged itself. That was okay, I looked forward to messing it up again.

I grabbed both the Nightingale blade and Chillrend and pierced them through his shoulders, locking his use of his arms. I stood on his feet. He shifted and tried to move. But he held in his screams.

Such a piece of shit...

I stood before him with the curious tilt yet again, trying to figure out how I was going to do this.

I contemplated the angle and the art of how I was going to torment him so. I smiled.

My face instantly changed that to rage as I gripped the mace tight and smashed Mercer in the face, with blood bursting everywhere. I continued to bash the shit out of him as much as I could.

It made me feel better. I hissed and roared as I brutally beat his body to bits as much as I could.

The release was so nice and almost orgasmic. I morphed back into my normal form, but continued to bash the monster. Everywhere was getting bloody and I was getting blood everywhere. I screamed and cried.

"DIE!  _DIE! **DIE!**_ " I shouted.

**"DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH!"**

He was already most likely dead but I didn't care. I was unleashing, letting go of all my hatred, pain and sorrow.

* * *

It was a sight to behold. The visions of red, like violent waves against a rocky shore, was the type of chaos I was hungry for. It was all I saw, as my bloodlust blocked out all other senses and satiated my appetite. I soon became exhausted and I mellowed down quite a bit. I looked at the beaten down corpse of Mercer, his blood and guts everywhere. My mind had calmed down with one final release. I puffed and panted and looked at the crimson stained mace before me. I looked at Mercer again and dropped it, hurling out after what I saw.

My body became flushed and sweaty again, shaking. What have I become?

I dropped the mace and fell to my knees, looking down at the ground.

I heard voices before me. I turned to see Vex, Sapphire and Tonilia on the other side of the room, returning to their own selves.

"Does anyone know what the...by the Eight..." Tonilia mumbled, before seeing the mess in the middle of the room.

Vex squinted.

"Is that..." She muttered as she looked in my direction.

I looked at my hands. I was shaking violently and crying. No...no what...

Sapphire's eyes widened.

"What is...Petra is that you?" She asked, unsure of what she was seeing.

The girls ran over, seeing the beaten down remnants of their former Guild Master. I held my head in shame and cried into my hands.

"Oh mercy. What in Oblivion just happened? And what is that smell?" Tonilia questioned, sniffing the air.

She saw me on the ground and bucked down right beside me.

"Petra, Petra speak to me. What's going on..."

I couldn't bare to look at her.

"I'm sorry guys...I..." I choked.

Vex picked me off the ground as she rolled her eyes.

"Up you get. Seriously, it's gross there. You don't want to look at it any longer. Lets head out and figure out where we are." She said with no nonsense.

The girls dragged me outside and were stunned at what they were staring at. I was relieved that they were okay.

"This place is just weird. The smell is nice one moment and then it's like...someones ass the next." Sapphire complained with her hands on her hips.

"We're in Coldharbour..." I choked out.

Vex looked at me strangly.

"And where in Oblivion is that..." She asked.

I rolled my eyes.

"You...just answered your own question."

Vex blinked.

"Wait, you can't be serious..."

The air shifted, as everything around us suddenly got darker. Tonilia took in me in close, made sure I was okay, surprisingly.

" _Ahh...that was amusing to witness... I thought Mercer was a coward...He was mostly all talk in the end. His spirit unimportant, but will be claimed once I find it. Thank you. I now will let you go back to your realm, with all the prizes I can muster for you. You deserve it...my daughter..._ "

I felt sick again as the world around me went dark.

* * *

I was truly a monster.

I had to become one to defeat one. It just wasn't right. I couldn't do this.

Why would my destiny be something unrelated to the dragons themselves.

But...

Now that Mercer was gone, I could finally focus on my true goals.

I could do what I was here to do. But I tried to make sense of what I would become eventually.

I didn't want to succumb to the madness of the thirst, I'm sure of it. I'd use my abilities for my benefit, would help me survive, but I would have to accustom myself once more, avoiding people.

A few months I wouldn't have minded. But now...I have so many people that I have gotten close to, including Brynjolf.

Dear, _sweet_  Brynjolf.

I'm still...so...sorry. You have done so much for me and I can't...I can't bare you to look at me. Don't think of me as this.

I had to make other plans and adjustments to figure out what I should do. Until then, I made the quick decision to finish off what I had to do then I would never face anyone every again. Unless I absolutely had to. Which I hoped not. I swallowed my own saliva. This wasn't going to be an easy choice to make. But...sigh...I really wanted...I had...I can't...

* * *

I reappeared in another small cave with a curious puddle of water. Looking down, I could see pieces of a dwemer ruin, before realizing I was still in Irkngthand. Oh no, Karliah... **Brynjolf!**

It was shaking and had suddenly filled with a lot of water that appeared towards the top of it. I immediately dived inside and went searching for them. I found myself seeing easier in the darkness as I swam around. I found the pair desperately searching for air. I swam forward and grabbed their collars and swam back up to the surface.

I dragged their bodies out and crawled for a bit. Brynjolf was coughing and Karliah was out. I began shaking her, until she opened her eyes. I helped them both on to their feet.

Brynjolfs face lit up as soon as he saw me that it almost made my heart melt. I had to feel it to make sure it was still beating. I know that Vampires aren't counted alongside the living, but I felt lively enough. Beats the usual, stereotypical stories that's for sure.

The pair of them hugged me, much to my surprise. I almost cried. They cared about me so much and I've just been this huge problem to them the entire time. I wasn't worthy of their love.

"Petra! You're alive!" Karliah shouted.

"What happened lass?" Bryn questioned after.

I wasn't sure if I could tell them the whole story. All I did was pull out the Skeleton Key and show it to them both. I don't even remember how I got it.

Karliah's face dropped.

"You did it then. You killed Mercer." She said, as if a weight was finally lifted off her shoulder.

I nodded without saying a word.

"That's it then. Twenty-five years in exile and just like that. I'm dying to know what happened."

I looked down.

"I killed him Karliah. That's not even half of what matters now. What do I do now with the key?" I had to say, as I was in a hurry to get things along.

Karliah was stunned, but adjusted herself quickly, not expecting that response it seemed.

"Oh, okay. Well, you need to take it to the Twilight Sepulcher. I'll give you directions however, since the key has been removed, our access to the conduit was also removed. You'll have to take the Pilgrims Path. Never been through the path myself so I'll have no idea what you'll be facing so be cautious. Sorry I don't have enough information." She explained to me.

I nodded.

"That's okay. I'll manage. I'll make sure it gets there and make sure that it returns to it's rightful place." I said with confidence.

Karliah smiled.

"Thank you. I just can't bare to face Nocturnal again after my failure to protect the key. And Brynjolf is needed at the Guild. I'm afraid you'll have to face this part of the journey alone." She acknowledged, barely avoiding tears.

I stood up straight, pretending I had pride.

"No, no...it's okay. I can handle myself, unless there's dragon in there." I joked.

Karliah chuckled.

"I...highly doubt that."

Karliah gave me the directions to the Sepulcher and taught me about the history of the Pilgrims Path. Some kind of test of worthyness that really had no claim to please Nocturnal, as she doesn't require worship in the traditional sense. A business driven Daedric Prince that still had that air of mystery. No wonder.

I nodded and prepared myself to go. Karliah had left, presumably back to the Guild or what ever herself, when Bryn pressed his hand on my shoulder. He intended to take the hood of my head, but I stood back and prevented him from doing so, confusing him.

"Something the matter" He asked. Brynjolf usually picks up on things on me quite quickly I might add. I had to be careful.

"Bryn, I don't know if I'll be returning to the Guild after this..." I said to him, rubbing my arm.

He held my arms, but not too tightly, then dragged them to my fingertips to hold my hands. He was surprised at how cold they were. But he wasn't stupid.

"Lass, something happened...I know you're not saying it, because if you're not willing to talk about it, it means where you went and what had occurred, it's made you distant again." He explained.

He knows me too well.

I sighed.

"I can't promise anything Bryn...I just...need to be away for a while." I stated with sadness.

He nodded.

"I can understand. No, I can't. But I know what you're like. If you need time to sort things out that's fine. Just don't forget we're all here for you okay?"

I could cry. I really could. I wanted to tell him everything but I didn't want to bare him anything else, that I was no longer mortal like he, and I silently swore to myself that I wouldn't set foot anywhere until my vampirism was gone.

We hugged again and I listened to his quickened heart beat. He was scared for me. I didn't want him to be. I wanted him to be happy. From his grip I could tell he didn't want me to go.

"Bryn...I..."

I desperately just wanted to get out of me, but I couldn't. I was going to run away and this would only cause him pain.

"Petra..." He murmured.

I wanted to kiss those lips of his. I wanted to make a dozen stolen promises but not like this.

He got closer to me and raised my hand in front of his mouth and kissed the back of my hand.

I blushed and smiled.

"Just...be careful. And know the Guild will always be your home...okay...but has this got anything to do with the Greybeards?" He asked. Such a gentleman.

I chuckled.

"No..no..." I said. Words instead were taken from me.

My ultimate goal was still to take Bryn with me to see them. I suppose it gave me the incentive and motivation to get myself cured maybe. I pressed my hand against his cheek. Cold, but he could mistake it for just because we'd been in the water.

"We both will see them again. One day...that I will make sure of."

We then reluctantly parted ways,  
as I was walking the path to do this thankless task, burdened with guilt.


	34. Lost Again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It'd been a few weeks since Irkngthand and Mercer's subsequent demise. But Petra still hasn't returned, which leads Brynjolf trying to track her down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys and all your reviews! Much appreciated!

 

She hasn't been back in a while. I'm starting to worry. It's not something you get used to, believe me...

But when she returned back from where ever she disappeared to back at the dwemer ruins, she was different. Distant. Like the first day I met her.

When something involves Petra, you can expect the greatest story never told. Forgotten and unseen.

Where ever she went, and what ever occurred, I could tell it wasn't pretty. She quipped about defeating Mercer and carried on like it was just another job. It's fascinating to hear her tales of success, but the lass never goes into great detail. When you find the parts where we gained footholds in the most essential cities in Skyrim, that was Petra's doing. Found more resources and contacts than we can lay our hands on. She impressed Tonilia in getting the Khajiit in handling more of the transportation of goods side of business.

She claims she's just doing as she's told, but there's gotta be more than that.

Our lucks increased aye, but my opinion is that she's made too many sacrifices, some may have been necessary, but she puts it on herself too much and it's tearing her apart. She puts on a great show, but being around her long enough let's you see past the facade. Her lack of self-esteem eating her on the inside. By that I mean, she doesn't think highly of herself enough and I doubt she even gets the whole picture of her role in the world.

She may call herself Dragonborn and desires answers but she's denying herself the chance to believe what her true calling is in life. She has to have a type of knowing, gnawing at her and telling her she should be thinking differently. Her defeat of Mercer displayed that she has the courage and the power within her to overcome, but when I saw her, the way she shirked away from me, I could tell something horrible had happened, but she was too ashamed to say it.

Even with Mercer dead, I still had an empowered hatred for him. But for now I was cleaning up his dirty work, and getting these ragtag thugs back into order.

When you look at the Guild, the state of affairs left it in shambles. But now it...it just feels better, like it had a fresh coat of paint. We're all too lazy to paint. It's a sewer for Shor's sake, but you see people calling for our...'help' once again, we're notorious enough to be sought out again for our services. Clients coming in left and right. Mostly Skyrim's scum, but thankfully as well as the pay is good we don't really care who hires us.

Delvin had a statue of Nocturnal placed in the Guild, now that we'd gained the Daedra's favour again. A few weeks ago, Karliah sensed a shift in powers, like a steady flow of luck started to flow our way. She took her leave to go back to the Twilight Sepulcher, and came back to confirm that the Ebonmere, Nocturnal's conduit for blessing us with her luck, was reopened. Which confirmed that Petra had succeeded in getting the Skeleton Key back to it's proper resting place.

She did tell me Petra wasn't there. When she told me she was going away for a while, I thought she just wanted to recover, given that she would have copped a lot from Mercer, and what ever mystery they'd been up. I wouldn't have minded, but I would have liked to receive some sort of notification or contact from her at least.

But no word, nothing. It'd been weeks since then.

I'd asked around the flagon, I'd asked Delvin where she'd gone. And he stated that he had no idea and no one he's spoken to has seen her either. She'd gone back into hiding, it seemed. I turrned to Vex, who was laying back against some crates and appeared to be staring off into Oblivion. Her, Tonilia and Sapphire had been acting weird as of late. They're not ones for talking too much, but ever since we'd come back from Irkngthand they've been...rather off.

I approached Vex and snapped her out of her trance by waving clicking fingers in her face.

"Nirn to Vex, you in there?" I joked.

She looked at me funnily. This wasn't the type of Vex I was used to seeing.

"Yeah I'm here. What is it this time Brynjolf?" She spoke to me with scorn. Typical Vex, but their odd behaviour was definitely telling.

"You haven't seen Petra around...have you?" I asked her.

She refused to look me in the eye as she shook her head.

"No, I haven't seen her." She replied, tone tired and weary.

I didn't believe her for one second.

"Vex, come see me at the front desk."

* * *

We went back into the cistern and talked at the masters desk. I sensed her hesitation to even speak to me, but she knew more than what she was letting on.

"Talk to me Vex. You're bothered by something...I can smell it." I told her.

She heaved a sigh. It was heavier than normal. It was more towards exhaustion, than annoyance.

"Bryn you know I can handle myself. I am not like your girlfriend who needs you to hold her hand all the time." She told me.

I rolled my eyes. Vex on the defense was something you had to expect. I had to keep pushing.

"That's not what I meant..." I spoke to her with a annoyed tone.

"You've spoken with her. Haven't you? And she's told you not to tell me, because she's hiding something. And now it's not just you, it's Tonilia and Sapphire who are holding back. The three of you are all hiding something. It's been like that ever since Petra killed Mercer."

Vex looked around, then bit her lip.

"We're still capable of working Bryn. You don't have to worry us when we're on a job. We're of practical use in the field as ourselves." She stated, not letting up.

I glared at her, albeit softly and crossed my arms. I wasn't going to fall for her deflecting the topic.

"Vex, I'm not fooled by your tactics here. Where is Petra?" I asked sternly.

She looked around again, as if she was paranoid. Unusual for Vex.

"Pipe your voice down. I don't want anyone else to know." She whispered.

"Meet me at the second floor of the Bee and the Barb in about an hour."

* * *

She was so secretive, more so than she was normally. I boded my time with some paperwork and reading, looking up stories of Molag Bal himself. Said of done some nasty things in the second era, so I had to believe. Details weren't exactly clean cut but he was just as terrible as any other Daedric Prince.

But these were mostly just accounts of his worshippers and only told the tales of those who wronged him or took their religion too seriously. I also believed some of them were fictitious. As with a lot of the stuff you read from books.

But I'd gone to the Bee and Bard soon after and met up with Vex sitting down at the nearby table.

"Good, you're here." She muttered.

I placed my hands on my hips as I looked at her.

"What's this all about lass?"

She combed her silver-blond hair with her fingers. I'd never seen her this stressed since her initial failure at Goldenglow.

"You wanted to know if I'd talked with Petra, so...I'm going to say, yes I did. However the last time we'd seen her wasn't...exactly in this realm."

My brow furrowed...I was puzzled as to what she was on about. Then I realised.

"Another realm? You met up with Petra in some plane of Oblivion. Even for you Vex, that's actually rather surprising. That's a tale from the lips of a skooma addict more than you would say I was Tiber Septim." I joked. Sort of.

Vex sighed. You forget the lass wasn't very comedic.

"It's not exactly a vacation I would have asked for but in any case the three of us ended up there. Me, Tonilia, Sapphire. Don't know if you were aware about the fact that Mercer not only played us for fools, but he also played as his floozies, much to our dismay. It's like a scab you want to scrapE off but then you get all the pus." She explained.

That was an analogy I wanted to get out of my head. But aye, I'd learned about that. I nodded to her to carry on.

" _Mercer..._ " She gritted her teeth and hissed. She was acting like Petra did once. Really uncomfortable with talking about it.

"He made us his thralls somehow. Found out he was a really powerful Vampire."

I blinked. That's...different.

"Wait a  _Vampire_? And no one said anything or suspected anything?" I questioned, not really believing in what I was being told.

Vex shrugged. This was way outside of the zone we usually deal with. As for Mercer? Didn't seem to look like he was into that sort of thing. Unless you count his uh...bizarre tastes that he'd rarely jest about.

"His abilities extended far beyond the normal means. He persuaded us to do what he wanted because he could. And looking back on it now makes all seem just like a terrible dream."

I nodded. Mercer, I better hope Petra gave you what you deserved in death.

"But we couldn't help ourselves. A power that seeped into the mind, indoctrination they call it or something. The three of us knew it wasn't natural but none of us were even strong enough to resist it."

What a terrible power to abuse. It filled me with such anger and the betrayal just hurt me more than it originally did.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I queried her. I just couldn't stand the very thought of this happening underneath our noses this entire time, that Mercer was even capable of creating and inflicting such horrors.

Vex rubbed her head.

"I just said we were powerless to stop it. Mercer must've whipped up some kind of hypnotizing spell that prevented us from saying a word. I don't know."

Petra herself would have experienced something similar, but now my concerns included the three other girls in the group. None of them deserved this. No one deserves it. And my mind was still taking it all in, opening up more of me to see what a monster Mercer truly was.

I scratched my chin.

"And what of Petra then? She was also in this realm you were in?" I wondered. It couldn't be coincidental.

Vex nodded to confirm it.

"Most of what happened is a blur, but I still remember bits and pieces of it, like it was me sitting behind my eyes but not having real or any control over my body. It just...did things." She said as she rubbed her head.

Vex was a strong lass. She's had worse happen in life than this. She held it together better than anyone.

"From what I saw, I did see Petra. Mercer had lured her to this...disgusting, tower in the middle. Us three watched as he tormented her. She...didn't look too healthy..."

I flashed back to when we'd found Mercer stealing the Eyes of the Falmer. That Petra shouted him off the top of the snow elf statue and stabbed him with both of her blades. I was busy fighting off Karliah...

Suddenly I knew what it felt like to not have control. Vex's story of loss of self was valid to me. Not that she'd lie about something about that, but he did have that type of power as I'd experienced it myself. I didn't want to and I couldn't stop myself.

"I must say she was rather..amorous with exchanging words with him..a real fighter. She must have been bleeding for a while because she had the gall to snap at Mercer and shout at him...taunting him from memory. Then...more blurs...and..."

I could see Vex trying to remember badly what happened but from her wincing she wasn't at all feeling well in doing it. I wanted to know but I didn't want to force Vex to re-experience it, but she pushed on.

"He'd become this awfully thin, grey floating monster. A Vampire Lord."

I've heard of Vampires...I mean, who hasn't. But a Vampire Lord did not sound too promising.

"Most of it was still a blur, until suddenly there was another monstrosity. Female in form and fighting it off with Mercer in the sky and crashed through the top of the tower. Then next thing we know, is Mercer on the ground, getting his face smashed in with a creepy looking mace, blood everywhere and Petra vomiting."

My heart sank and my stomach pulled. Petra...what...

"I really didn't want to tell you this Bryn, but I think your girlfriend is a vampire."

I slammed the table, almost disorienting the girl as I abruptly lost my cool. I was pissed at the whole situation, the secrets, the lies...

I glared at the woman. I hardly glare at people.

"You're telling me  _you_  all knew this entire time and never bothered to tell me about this?  _Why_? Vex? Do you not trust me?" I scolded her, my body shaking slightly with all the hatred pouring back.

Vex rubbed her head. She was notably saddened by the state of affairs when you she was normally quick to anger. Not something you see everyday, especially from her. She then wore a scorn like she had discarded her sorrow.

"Hey! You try and wrap your head around it...you weren't even there. So Brynjolf...the girls and I thought..."

I shook my head. I couldn't help but just be angry at her and I wish my own mind can see she's trying to explain herself, but hardly any of it would be a good enough excuse to me.

"No... _you_  thought I wouldn't be able to take it. You all knew what happened and never said a damned thing! I knew you were holding back something but I originally thought nothing of it. And now you tell me this and expect  _me_  to be calm about it lass?"

Vex had to reassess herself, she then stood and raised her hands at me.

"Just cool it, Bryn, she's still alive at least, that's all I know at this point. With our luck in recent times relatively improved, she's succeeded in getting us rich again."

I didn't care about that. I started to pass around the room in pure frustration, pinching the top of my nose.

"I would have expected she told you that..." Vex assumed.

This was just getting too much.

"You say she's alive and you judged her to tell me everything? Listen to me Vex, Petra has always been like that. I would have predicted she'd tell me in due time." I told her outright. I was around her long enough to know where things would stand and how she would approach certain subjects.

Vex rose an eyebrow and leaned against the nearby wall.

"So why are you so pissed at that then?" She asked me.

Her tone, filled with that pisspoor arrogance.

"I'm not pissed at that. I'm pissed at you, whom having been there when it happened and could have told me important details. I'll ask again. You don't trust me?"

Vex growled. One I've heard many times when she's talking with Delvin or just about any other male at the Flagon.

"How  _dare_  you. Of course I trust you. But this is Petra we're talking about, your precious little blue-eyed thief. I didn't want to stand between you two. And now she's not here. What do you think of that?" She pointed out to me.

I wanted to shout and scream but I remained vigilant with poise.

"All Petra told me was that she needed to be away for a while. That's it. What she needed to do, was her own damned business. She's sacrificed so much for the Guild already. She's rewarded with a break." I told her, trying to cool down.

Vex half-snorted.

"Hah, a few week's break. Listen Bryn, you and I both know she loves the job too much to do nothing. My theory is she'd get this done quickly, and she'd be back in time, ready for the next set of jobs. She was content and happy to keep the coin flowing because she's probably the only damn one, besides yourself, me and Delvin, who gives a skeevers ass about the Guild. She brought in more coin than anyone just to make sure we all stood on top. But she's gone Bryn and no word means she doesn't want anyone to find her. Because you know what I think? I think she's hiding because she doesn't want the world to see her for what she is now, more importantly she doesn't want you to see her...especially you. She's most likely isolated herself like she used to, but to more extreme measures. See, try to deny that theory when it you know it all yourself don't you?" Vex explained to me.

She had a point. Petra's untold adventures. And will remain untold until anyone finds her. But I failed to understand why she didn't just outright tell me straight away. I wouldn't have cared what she was. I just...wanted her home to where she was cared for...where she would be...-

I could take care of her, no problem. And if the world hated her for it, then so be it. I'd still defend the lass with my life. My head couldn't wrap itself around the very concept though, how she just left us be.

My heart sank down further. But I couldn't give up hope. I lifted my chin up and stared at Vex.

"So absolutely no word? Not even...small messages? Anything that we've received that was rather strange?"

I must have been desperate for information crucial to me finding her. I'd respect her wishes but this is just getting ridiculous. It took me so long to get her out of her shell, and she's back in there again. Vex tapped her lip with her finger.

"Now that you mention it, Delvin received a package a few days ago. The Eyes of the Falmer he called those weird egg shaped rocks. We'd assumed Karliah sent them and thought nothing of it."

Of course. The eyes. Mercer had grabbed them from the statue with the intent to sell them and live off the proceeds for very long time.

"I assure you Karliah sent no such artefacts. Karliah gave Petra a Nightingale bow I know that much. Mercer already had the eyes when we found him. Did the package leave any type of note?"

Vex pondered.

"Uhh yeah...yeah a piece of paper. All it just says is... _enjoy_..."

At least she's considerate. But this was getting us no where fast. She may have been clever enough to cover her tracks, but there's gotta be a way to find her.

"That's all I know Bryn. I'm sorry I don't know more. And I apologise on holding out on you. If I knew where Petra was I'd tell you. Shadows help you find her."

I nodded.

"Thanks Vex, I didn't mean to lash out at you like that."

The woman shrugged. She had experience in taking heat from people...I don't know if she had expected it from me however.

"No, I get why you're angry, just do what you can and find her."

* * *

I sat at the Flagon in deeper thought. I'd sat in Petra's little corner where she used to sit and read. Call it sentimental, but honestly I was trying to get where her head was at. Where would she go to hide? Where no one would find her?

One thought was that she'd gone up to see the Greybeards without me, but then with the revelations of her as a Vampire, made me think the old men would never want to see her in such a state.

She believed herself in such a state that she may have considered herself dangerous to the confines of the walls of the main cities, finding their prey out in the wilderness.

I suspect she wouldn't have gone that far, somewhat. But far enough and well enclosed to make sure no one would discover her current location. I don't...care that she's a Vampire. I can't stress that enough.

"Any luck findin' your girl Bryn?" Delvin asked me, bringing a chair over to the corner table and sitting on it backwards and bringing bottles of mead over.

I shook my head and sighed.

"No...nothing."

I realised that Delvin cared about Petra a lot as well and would be more than glad to help out. But for now, I think Vex needed him more than I did.

"Hm...tryin' think. It's a mess all over ain't it?" He wondered out a loud.

"Vex told me about the Eyes of the Falmer with a note attached. You guys automatically thought it was from Karliah. But it couldn't have been." I mentioned.

Delvin chuckled.

"Of course it wasn't. I'd recognize her handwriting anywhere. So elegant that I'm actually envious of it." Delv stated.

So the eyes were still going to be a dead end. I had to try something else.

"Okay, let's not think of events from a Guild stand point. Any of your contacts notice anything unusual occurring. Maybe near big cities but it doesn't have to be anything, well, particular within them."

Delvin took a sip of his bottle of mead.

"Hmm...o'right. Let's see...let's see...ah I do recall Niranye, our fence in Windhelm, mentioning buying some interesting trinkets from one of the Khajiit Caravans. Namely powerful weapons hidden inside numerous ruins according to the seller. But the seller also bought the weapons from somebody that didn't appear to be from the Guild, but rather some weirdo who was just pretending to be a Guild representative. Didn't think that'd be major. Niranye thought it was funny, and said it was someone from the Summerset Shadows maybe, if the Khajiit's story checks out right."

I browed. I heard the stories of when Petra had gone to Windhelm on a special request and eliminated part of the rival faction. That's the only connection we had to her.

"So, what's so significant about a lone Summerset Shadow? Other than being thieves with no honour of course." I questioned, curious.

Delvin smirked.

"Petra wiped out the whole group and made sure no one was left alive. One may have escaped which I highly doubt with those bow skills of hers...but one thing Niranye did point out was that the...killer thief was rather, stagnant, moaning and had really bad breath. Not sure if that's got to do with anything though. We joked about it."

I pondered for the moment. Didn't know what to think of at this point. Most of it made no sense.

"Bryn..." Delvin muttered.

"I know...your thing for this girl...don't let it distract you too much from your duties."

I smiled. I suppose such matters were obvious to everyone by now. I wouldn't bother to deny it.

"I'm okay lad. I just want to see her and bring her home, but you have me at a hundred percent."

Delvin grinned. He was more like either an older brother or a father type figure with a wealth of knowledge and stories to back up his skills and claims. You could always trust him at least.

"Yeah we all do Bryn, we all do. All I can advise you is to speak with our fence. I'm sure she'll be able to point you in the right direction."

I got off my the chair and nodded at the breton.

"Thanks. Oh and Delv?"

He looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Can you keep an eye on Vex for me? I know she may reject you outright, but offer her a drink or something. She's going through a rough patch right now."

Delvin nodded. "I noticed. She hides and holds herself well but you know that stuff is always well hidden. Good luck!"

* * *

Funny how similar Petra and Vex were in terms of their personalities. Except Petra doesn't boast as much and Vex can keep herself cool. I'd have a word with Tonilia and Sapphire another time about their rendezvous in this particular realm they visited. Vex didn't describe it in great detail, only about some type of tower was involved.

Most lessons of common mythologies and legends tend to go straight over my head anyway, but after what happened, I'm inclined to be less skeptical and more aware of all the types of magical events that tend to pop up every so often. Bizarre but they happen.

Vex was right though. There are only so few of us who have genuine concern regarding the Guild. Petra wasn't the only one I was worried about. I wanted everyone at the best of their game and any questions and disputes relayed to me so we can get it sorted as soon as possible then get to work.

Being a Nightingale go gave me a sense of interesting superiority. My arrogance is only for show but I practically bled power that increased my abilities as a Thief. But I still had my duties and for now as a de facto leader until any kind of initiation or promotion was noted and observed by a large audience.

But all that power would only help me defend myself by masking to the shadows. My Amulet of Articulation was good enough to convince but if you simply don't have the information it's hard. I like seeing it as a challenge sometimes. But this Altmer in Windhelm, supposedly had information that may or may not be solid. I was wondering if the grey elf Delvin mentioned had something to do with it. Either way, it'll either help or hinder progress. Petra had connections there and saved Niranye from her troublesome kin.

I then prepared myself with a trip to Windhelm.

Thank the Gods I finally found a lead...even if it was obscure and filled with uncertainty.


	35. Snow and Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf strives to find Petra, in more ways than one...

 

Windhelm.  
Gods know how I ended up here again.

In terms of my own investigation into Petra's where abouts, the trails that lead me here only had some type of sense to it. Both of us came here to do a job, but here was where Petra solved the developing issue of a rival guild trying to get its foothold around here. They called themselves the Summerset Shadows.

Back then we would have never considered them any real threat. No one heard of any of their tales or exploits, which meant they either kept their heists at minimum, or they were all talk. Either way, there wouldn't be much to see from them or their 'Guild.' But they were into some nasty type of work. We had standards to maintain. These people preferred to steal from corpses. Yeah...no.

But we regained Windhelm per Petra's work and now have a contact within in to secure our goods.

I approached the Altmer, Niranye, at her stall, with her smug look on her face. She'd been in contact with Petra previously on the Summerset issue.

"Oh Brynjolf what a pleasant surprise to see you!" She welcomed me with that forced act of hers. She always put on the show for the locals with her overly enthusiastic tones.

I nodded with acknowledgement. At this stage she was just more than just a happy pawnbroker.

"How's business?" I asked to get the conversation flowing.

She smiled. It was wicked, I could tell you. Could give Maven a run for her money...if Niranye had a lot more of it.

"Oh business is good, business is good. What do I have the pleasure of your company today him? Looking to buy? or..sell?"

I chuckled. Probably the only Altmer I really liked, honestly. That was saying much.

"Not today. I'm actually looking for Petra. You seen her around?" I asked, bluntly.

Niranye contemplated.

"Oh let me see...let me see...I have the occasional shipment of goods handed to me by the Khajiit...saying our mutual friend says hello and just dumps them with me. Often more goods than I can put on display really."

Sounds like Petra. You can trust her to get the good stuff. But she must have been covering her tracks.

"But she doesn't actually come in to speak with you at all?" I questioned.

Niranye shook her head.

"Sadly no. I'd like to speak with her. I'd imagine she'd be far too busy with all her work. You don't become a quality...merchandiser without pulling the hard yards in getting all the fascinating and valued trinkets. I get the usual note, but it's mostly lists of the goods." She answered. She was right in some respects.

I nodded. I had to think of a way to pull the lass out, or at least either lure her out of her hiding place or best place to meet up in fact. I know Petra well enough that she won't give out her position so easily. She'd stick with the shadows like she was supposed to. She wouldn't have become a great thief otherwise.

"May I ask  _why_  you're looking for her? I understand you all have had gone through some rather rough patches lately. You recruited well. Is she in any immediate danger?"

I sighed. It's never surprising to see how many people actually cared for Petra. More stories than you ever hear from the modest lass.

"No. Nothing like that."

She relaxed and crossed her arms, quizzing me with her stare.

"And she wouldn't tell anyone where she was? Fascinating. She's hiding from the Guild perhaps? I wouldn't imagine what for though. And here I was, plodding along nicely. Unless this is some sort of...personal matter I presume?"

No doubt the coin was good, probably why she didn't notice.

"You're...not going to kill her are you?" Niranye asked me, more curious than cautious, though I didn't know the elf well enough to know where her real intentions were laid.

"Of course not. She and I just have business to discuss. And when I say business, I don't mean that she's going to end up with a dagger at her throat. I just want to speak with her."

Niranye seemed to understand that, at least. She made some kind of smirk, flirtatious as if she was catching on to something. Is it me or is it actually obvious to people that...no...no no no...why do people always think...no, how do people even see that?

"That's a relief. I like the girl. Pity she's not keeping in touch. I owe her mead...or two."

Figured Petra would still take care of her own. Which it made crucial that I get in contact with her.

Niranye rubbed her chin. Though now when I think about, perhaps I should mentioned it through different context.

"But I suggest catching up with the Caravan. I think there's a group still outside of Windhelm, just cross over the bridge and turn left at the stables. You'll see their camp there."

I thanked the elf and walked my way towards the city entrance and out to their encampment. If I had to walk to each of end of Skyrim to find Petra, then so be it. She wouldn't have gone too far, helping out the Guild where she can. That was her way now apparently...

* * *

Even of she decided to use alternate means of doing so, she didn't have to cut off contact from absolutely everyone. She's a Vampire, aye...not everyone accepts a blood sucker into their arms.

Me? As long as she still lives and breaths somewhat, I don't mind what she becomes. As long as Petra is still there somewhere.

She's always pushed people away as far as I can remember. I was like that once. People still annoy me, but if they're a valuable asset and friend, they get all my respect.

The difference is that...I...that Petra...you know that I love her...I love her too much to see her this way. She's made great progress since she's been with us and what she's done for the Guild. But I just wish she would stop doing this. She doesn't have to be this way. We'll find a way through it.

But she doesn't know how I feel and I just can't get the words out to her. Some days I want to tell her but can't find the appropriate time. Other days I tell myself to get out of her burdens and to not let her worry about me at all. I think she's doing the same thing. Heh, I just find it rather amusing we prefer to let one another go but I can never get her out of my head; the way that I fall into melancholy and get depressed if she's not there.

Without getting too sappy, I believe she can pull through. She vastly underestimates herself where everyone can see her gifts and talents and she just does it. When it comes to larger, more complicated situations, she gets outright in the midst of her power. I can see it in her eyes, when she cries her heart out when it gets tough and gives it her all. That being said...

She's afraid of her power. She knows it there, and is horrified at the consequences of it going wrong. The story of her at Helgen. When people hear what happened they get terrified of their own lives.

But Petra believed that the dragon was out to get her personally. She never wanted this...she never wanted to be Dragonborn.

If you excuse my philosophy here for the moment, but the Gods wouldn't have given her anything if they knew she couldn't do it. They must see it. She's hesitant to take lives, which is why she'd chosen the Guild. We follow our own set of rules and regulations and she follows them to the letter.

Another thing is that she learns quickly, my guess being that it's something as part of her inborn abilities. She was willing to learn more about archery and the like, even with her supposed experience with hunting back in Cyrodiil. This is what she's told me anyway.

For anything to go south just makes her panic. She subconsciously sets events out, purely in her head and when a variant puts itself in there she has to quickly re-adjust herself for the new challenge. As a Thief that kind of thing is inevitable. You have to make second decisions in nearly everything and drive yourself to succeed and leave your options open.

With Dragons...there isn't much choice for to make. She's the only one that can take them down; permanently. She doesn't want anyone to die and she just hits herself if anything happens and people just die because she wasn't fast enough. She needs to understand that these things happen and that she can't be everywhere at once.

Objects stolen can be replaced, lives cannot. It may not appear at first glance but Petra badly wants to protect the people she pushes away but deeply cares about. She thinks for all the bad things to happen that it's her fault.

That's...never the case Petra. You put these burdens on yourself for no reason. There's nothing wrong with being sad over someone's death and that makes you human. It's the pointless self-guilting that needs to stop. And the overindulgence of your sacrifices. That's just as bad.

* * *

I found the Caravan, with the cluster of tents and a spit over the fire; numerous cat-folk loitering about. I adjusted myself before I approached the one sitting at the entrance of his tent.

"Ahh come to look at our wares have we?" Asked the orange toned male, wearing blue clothes. I think Tonilia described him to me once. I know Ri'Saad, the one in charge of the caravans, but this was Ma'dran, if I'm not mistaken. He took another look at me and realised who I was.

"Apologies for not knowing sooner member of the Guild, I tend to forget who I'm speaking with. Anything I can assist you with?"

Khajiit normally have a stigma they have to live with. But they're always useful and willing to negotiate. They've always had an aptitude for trading in just in their goods, but for information as well.

"I'm trying to find another member that you may have gotten in contact with recently. She's not in any danger, I just need to find her. She's very secretive about her location but I can pay you for any information you have."

He squinted, his sharp teeth shining through as he smiled.

"Hmm...while I have bartered with many of your people, there's none that stand out as much as I can remember...what does this one look like?" He asked me.

"She's small, but feisty. Has light brown hair in a high ponytail and light blue eyes. She might be the one who brings you the most valuable loot." I answered, truthfully.

Ma'dran went deep into thought.

"No...no haven't seen anyone like that." He replied, sadly.

I wasn't going to give up just yet..I was...

"BUT I do know someone who has been bringing us some peculiar goods...in fact they were here not long ago. A member of the Guild, I assumed, didn't speak much, other than a few chosen words. He had a rotten stench to him. Didn't like the look of him, but I don't refuse anything that will make us a profit. So we traded and went off without saying goodbye or thank you."

As odd as it seemed, this might have been the guy that Delvin was talking about. I had to know...

"Was he in grey armor?" I queried.

Ma'dran nodded.

"Yes he was. Altmer. Skin a deathly yellow, so I thought he was just sick."

Altmer? Hmmm...I was wary. It was perplexing. Niranye did mention that Petra had only sent out letters somewhat, as well as Delvin mentioning letters being involved. He must know where she was if she was sending him out. I was anxious and fearful, but didn't let that get to me. There had to be an explanation for it.

"Which way was he headed?"

You can call me crazy for bothering with this. I don't mind. But when you love Petra like I do, it's hard to not forget about it. Not that I want to. Without my heart being torn and my mind elsewhere, logically I would think Petra would be fine. Despite mishaps, she can take care of herself. Dragons were the only main monsters that gave her pause now.

She has her love for the Guild as well. She would never jeopardize it. She's sacrificed too much so far to let it fall apart now. And now we're prosperous as ever because of it. Because of her.

But I just can't help it. The lass means more to me than wealth. All I really wanted was the knowledge and the fact that she was...fine. But when you're gone for so long without so much as a letter from a courier or any real sign, you have to believe something was up.

Ma'dran directed me to the western part of Eastmarch, the parched side of snow in an area called Uttering Hills Cave. I would have imagined her isolating herself so far but not too far from some kind of civilisation. It'd be difficult to wandering out in the light of day. I've never met a Vampire...I think, they're tricky buggers, masters of illusion I hear. You'd think being a creature of the night would be easier for a thief. I'm reluctant to believe that...powers unheard of but...just doesn't seem easy.

* * *

I paid the cat in thanks, then went back to the Stables where I rode Lucky across the hold to the snowy patched hills, eventually to a small crevice, with a door embedded on the side of a minor cliff edge. I got off my horse and examined the tiny splotches of blood around the burnt out camp-fire structured there as part of a small settlement. I felt ill.

There was a singular guard there, matching the description of the Altmer thief. I approached with utmost caution and attempted to make careful conversation.

"Hello there." I welcomed. I wasn't entirely comfortable with this, but I couldn't risk losing Petra's trail.

The elf looked at me with the deadest eyes I'd ever seen. The aura around him felt wrong as he glared at me.

" _Turn...back..._ " He groaned to me. His voice...just echoed strange magics. I stayed on guard.

"Are you the one who's spoken with the Khajiit Caravans earlier?" I questioned. I thought to myself, good luck with getting a decent answer.

" _Turrnn baacck!_ "

He unsheathed his dagger, preparing to attack me if I didn't listen. This had to be some kind of weird, ass mind control magic from the looks of it. Still was strange and unnatural. I pulled out my blade as well.

"Who's your master?" I asked. I'd assume if anything else that things like these had monster masters or controllers. I wasn't sure. Necromancers..yeah that was the word I was looking for. Not a fan.

He then swung at me. I defended myself as his dagger clashed with my sword. He kept trying to hit me as a I dodged and weaved around him. This wasn't going to end well. He fought for a moment, with me ending up decapitating him, but then his entire body just collapsed into white ashes. I was left with nothing. I squatted down and shamelessly sifted through the ashes left behind. No...nothing. All I had was what was behind this door. I didn't have much to lose at this stage by checking it out.

* * *

I wandered inside, seeing all but stone and snow. The wind enforced and bleed out eery echoes throughout. I became suspicious and kept my blade in hand.

Traisping around, ensuring I kept quiet allowed me to see several of these guards, wandering around the place. I do seem to recall something about the Summerset Shadows again and Petra's previous conquest that wiped them out. But the story doesn't add up. These people were alive still.

Surely Petra wouldn't lie like that. Unless my previous theory still stood.

Each of the Altmer clad in grey thieves guild armor all had that rotten stench to them, their skin veiny and their eyes hollow. They were similar to the guard outside which upped my suspicions. I took them down by slitting their throats, but all of them looked relieved before shuffling to ashes as well. The piles were...just odd. I found another campfire with more guards and just made more ash piles from their bodies. What was going on? A wooden door on the side of a closed in stone building led me inside of it, possibly being there and the snow around it covering it. I walked down a set of steps, found more enemies and trails of blood leading down there. The stench got more rank and I thought the worst. I came across an alchemy lab as well, then went down a hall way. A walkway to my right lead into some kind of dining room with a banner between two stone polls. The banner was black with the Thieves Guild symbol on it. Somehow, I must have been in the right place.

"How did I know you'd find me?"

I turned around to hear that familiar voice

"Petra..." I whispered in disbelief. My face lit up and my heart went weak.

She stood there, wearing her normal brown guild armour. She strutted towards me, summoning the Nightingale Armour around in the quick whisk of black smoke that surrounded her. She was adamant in not letting me see her face.

"You slaughtered my minions? That's okay. I was sick with working with them anyway." She told me in a fake, dramatic way.

My heart jumped as I saw her. I wanted to hold her, hug her, but like the Altmer warriors she apparently commanded, she wasn't...right.

But I made do with common courtesy and kept to myself. She strolled around and leaned against one of the poles.

"Sorry, minions is a word I really wanted to use. I've been rather busy lately." She exclaimed.

"Aye, you have." I responded. I was in a mixture of angry, sad and happy but none of them were dominating me at the moment.

"Don your armour, I want to speak as Nightingale, to Nightingale." She told me, her voice firm but lacking an emotional spine.

I complied as I brought forth Nocturnals gift around me.

"Good. Now we can talk."

Part of me was glad to see Petra, but now that I did see her, I was more wanting to inquiring to what lead her here and what forced her to do this. No doubt she had her stories to tell and I honestly wanted to believe but I had to think clearly on this and look at it all from another perspective. I was saddened that she just didn't tell me outright and I needed to know why.

"So you wanna know why I'm not hanging around the cistern any more? I'd be prepared to tell you a hefty tale if you're willing." She told me. Somehow I felt her stare but had no idea what it consisted of. She was hard to read with the armour on.

"Of course. You don't normally stay away like this. At least, not for this long." I relayed my point.

She nodded.

"No. I don't. And you're right to guess that this had to do with Mercer. So there's no real reason why I shouldn't tell you. But I did need time to think about things. Alone and I'm close to finding a conclusion and the next steps to take."

She sounded more organised than I can remember. It was because I knew she needed time that I never bothered to pursue her for any reason than allowing her to gather her thoughts. Defeating Mercer wouldn't have been an easy task and would have taken a great toll on her. But I'd never think it should have taken her so far as she did.

"And I'll take a quick snip that either Vex, Tonilia or Sapphire had told you I was a Vampire."

I nodded. She was rather quick to catch on, the same as she was the beginning of her tale. Petra chuckled and started to pace around the room.

"Should have known. Oh well. You've come this far. Yes. I am a Vampire. I did become one willingly so I could defeat Mercer."

I squinted, trying to comprehend her decision.

"Before you open your trap, let me say this. It wasn't something I originally intended. Otherwise I would have done it my way. Mercer wasn't abusively persuasive in forcing me. He offered me the choice and I took it simply because he was foolish enough to think he'd be able to defeat me otherwise. Even with his experience I crushed him."

I crossed my arms. Vex did state that Mercer himself was a Vampire Lord. What ever that was...

"Vex happened to say you had all gone to another realm. Aye, I thought that as the case after you first got Mercer off the statue. He'd...stabbed you back and you all vanished."

I looked down, feeling my face turning red. I had to let her know sometime. But not now, Bryn, calm yourself.

"It brought me joy to see you back. It brought me sadness when you didn't return home." I told her. Such words held higher inflections than intended.

She rubbed her elbow, noticeably nervous about something.

"I'm...sorry to have worried you like that Bryn. I don't mean to cause you pain. It's just that you've done so much for me and I've been this little weak bitch for so long that I didn't want you have to cope with that any more." She apologized, her tone dropping.

Weak? No! Confused and unsure? Fine. This could be helped and solved with no issue and I'd always be willing to help.

"I've never thought that about you...Petra. You're skilled and you can handle yourself. But you're also human. We all have our flaws but that's just who we are." I told her.

She snorted.

"Yeah yeah. I didn't want to be treated like I was special just because I was doing my job." She admitted.

You're special to me Petra.

"You do the jobs no one else can handle lass. We have faith that you'd do it. We let you do the hard work because everyone else doesn't have the guts to take the work on. You do it anyway and the way you treat the job like any other speaks volumes. An extraordinary amount of focus and dedication." I explained, in all honesty.

She cracked her neck and paced around again.

"You know who that sounds like? You. The focus has been so much on me that everyone forgets about you and would rather depend on me than someone who's been in the game longer. You're a perfect fit to be Guildmaster."

No one had taken that role yet. Nor did I want to.

"That has yet to be decided. Vex, Delvin, and occasionally Karliah are cooperating at the moment to keep the coin flowing as it should, as well as keeping everyone else in line. I have no desire to lead. I've been thieving for most of my life lass. I know how the whole operation runs but I don't want to be it's figurehead."

Petra chuckled again.

"Because you're worried of all the attention you'll get? That you will take responsibility for the Guild and it's direction? That you'll get the blame and get chastised for every decision that speaks for the Guild? You fear failure? Is that what it is?" She called out.

I grumbled in frustration. Some of that was right, but I had my own reasons for it.

"Funny you mention that. I'm more like you Petra...all that glitz and glamorous stigma that gets attached to being Guildmaster may be nice, but it's not what I want. Overhyped and you're forgotten you're even there. I've always been willing to serve and do the jobs on my own because that's what I'm there for. But I don't want to make the big decisions that affect the guild in many ways. I don't even deserve the respect and honour that comes with it. You have to prove yourself over and over again to be considered for top spot." I admitted, wholeheartedly.

Petra then got closer and whacked the back of my head. I rubbed it after. The lass can hit pretty hard.

"Are you  _blind_? You have the respect and...admiration of the Guild. I'll smack sense into them as much as I have to smack sense into you. You're happy in that small niche that you built yourself without so much as a chance for the challenge and then let yourself grow?" She pointed out as she pressed her index finger in my chest.

I talk to others of the guild, mostly for business. But I keep an eye on them as well, occasionally rewarding them with not just coin, but for someone to talk to. My ear is always ready to listen. But they don't need me as Guildmaster, not by a long shot.

"I can't grow any higher than what I am lass. This is all I can do. And it's always what I've done." I told her.

She sat down at one of the benches and placed her hands at the back of her head. I wandered over and sat next to her.

"If it was up to me, there's no one else...I'd rather choose..." She spoke softly, with a hint of a shiver in her voice.

My stomach went warm. Her words drilled through me and sent pangs throughout.

"I'm flattered...really. I just...don't want to..." I muttered.

She placed her hands on the bench. I looked at her. I couldn't see her face but entire stance just was...tired.

"But you're not respecting my wishes to stay away as much as possible. Which is what  _I_  wanted." She called out.

No, this was different. I placed my hand on her back to make sure, but she rolled it off with her shoulder, butting me out again.

This was just like her joining the guild all over again. I had to wiggle my way through those barriers of hers she re-casted. I didn't want to lead the guild. That's fine, the others will still help out regardless. But Petra deserved to be with the guild more. This was her family that she was adopted into by me and they may not say it but they missed her dearly. I missed her even more.

"Because you think the others would fear you? I know what you're like lass. You're Dragonborn, a centre of attention in some bizarre prophecy and magical crap that is far beyond any of us are used to. And because of that, you're hiding because you don't want anyone involved in your problems. Am I wrong?" I told her outright. It needed to be said.

She sighed.

"The Dragon attack in Riften convinced me that I was putting other peoples lives in danger by simply being there. Each life lost to them is a life I could have saved...but here's me being a coward, but they won't be tempted to find me there." Petra claimed with the hint of a whimper.

I facepalmed.

"The Dragons are indiscriminate lass. They will kill anything that so much as lives and breathes. The only thing is that you're only...well, at least...human. Anyone who dies is not your fault because you weren't there." I told her. She may have been a Goddess but she wasn't omnipresent. Wait...what did I just say?

She slammed the table with her fists and I received a blazing stare somehow from beneath her hood.

"Because I am just a waste of flesh, born with an immortal soul that is supposed to take all of them down? I let Mercer take me, to let me become undeath and receive powers to allow me to work in secret, yet still finding ways to get around. I don't want to die before I've fulfilled my purpose. If I have to work in the dark so be it. I'm used to that now." She noted, accepting a fate I would not.

Powers...undeath. Those elves...their auras. I looked distant briefly as I recalled each of them in their apparent lifelessness. They were already dead.

I glared right back as I shot up from the bench. I couldn't believe what she was saying right now and it was filling me with rage.

"Don't you  _dare_  say that. I don't want you to die at all. Stop putting the blame on yourself, especially if it's out of your control in the first place. You put so little value on your own life! Living isn't about purpose, it's about what you can do with the time you've been given. Fulfil a purpose? Fine. Find a new one, and live because you can. It's pointless in throwing your life away like that." I yelled, frankly sick of the way she spoke about herself.

It became tense between us both yet again. Petra was so convinced that she sent for a reason then after that be allowed to be tossed away like trash. No. That was not going to happen.

"Because I'm in such a state to defeat dragons right now. Mercer is gone. That's good. But I've put myself into a compromising position that I no longer believe anything else besides the fact the Gods made a huge mistake." She stated with sarcasm.

No...that wasn't true.

"You made yourself immortal. Then you have all the time in the world to contemplate that. Not all of us do. You won't grow old alongside us and die alongside us. How long do you need before you can see that you have the power to enact! I fear before the time you can figure it out, we'll be gone, the dragons all but wiped us out and you're sitting in here still realising that the Gods made you mortal because you know there isn't much time to waste as is. They want you to take action but you're going to spend it here, cold with no one to speak to you." I scolded. She needed to hear it. She needed to feel it course through her mind.

She looked down in shame. I sensed some kind of heat rise above from her, like a change in her heart had made her think twice about it. Good. She was getting the message.

"I don't want to force you to do anything, but I want you to know the importance of the situation. Which is why I was willing to go with you to see the Greybeards...I want you to overcome...to believe and when all is said and done, and you've fulfilled your purpose, that you can come home to the Guild..."

I prepared myself mentally, gathering what mental strength I had.

"And to  _me.._ "

It took me a lot of courage to say those words. But she...I.

"Brynjolf..." She muttered.

It became quiet for the moment. She knew I was right. I just wanted her to be safe, but I also wanted her to be happy. I tried to make more conversation to break the mold. I looked at the splashes of blood everywhere and the piles of ash outside. I'd read up on Vampires beforehand and recalled them having engrossing powers.

"You rose those bodies yourself?" I said with a low, quiet tone of shock.

She pushed herself up and walked towards a nearby door, nodding her head to beckon me to take a look.

I wandered over to see a room filled with bookshelves and filled with numerous books of different colours and sizes.

"I'd accumulated all this via the Khajiit and Niranye. I had also had my minions go out elsewhere to find them. Mercer explained that he developed his abilities over time. So I took the time to study necromancy."

I'd never think the lass had it in her. She'd never be one for using magic, even her shouts. But she certainly gathered the aptitude for it, learning in a short amount of time.

"Don't worry, I've kept the summonings on creatures, beasts and lowlife bandits. Which at this stage I can handle the hunger for blood, but I wouldn't want it to get to a point where I'd be starving and desperate to latch out to a wanderer or an adventurer. I'd had my feed for today."

She still had control over that. It made sense though, once I thought about it. It was the safest way to make herself sane, I think Though I had to ask...

"So what do you think about drinking blood?" I wondered. Add that to a list of questions I'd never thought I'd ask.

She crossed her arms and looked away from me.

"There's the minor craving here and there. I'm surprised I'm willing enough to restrain myself. Quite easy actually. From a Vampire's perspective, it changes from what you're normally used to." She said, with a mages tone.

I nodded. I figured a conversation like this would get me close to understanding. And by letting her tell me, she still trusted me. My ear would always be open to her.

And my heart would be open still, like it always had been.

So I attempted casual conversation, to let her speak. It'd be like old times.

"So now you're immortal. Anything you feel is not likely not something you see a mortal grasp, that kind of concept?" I queried.

She nodded.

"Yeah. You should see the Vampire Lord form. Vicious...hideous. Gives you a butt load of power." She said with pride.

Another form? By Shor...there goes the casual.

"And Mercer gave it you? Willingly?" I wondered, as to part of Mercer decided to be an idiot to do so. Or it's a blessing...to some. I dunno. I'd accepted the fact that I never really knew the man after all.

"Like I said, he offered and I accepted. My reasons were to destroy him..."

She took in a deep breath.

"Bryn, I was dying. You had to have seen me there. I'd taken him down and he...impaled me. I was bleeding to death, what was I supposed to do? Let my ass get kicked again?"

I shook my head. She was getting emotional again. I had to calm her down, then again, I should let her vent. Normally helped a lot for her in the past.

"Petra, I won't condemn you for your choices you've made. Becoming a thief isn't the first choice for everyone, nor is it the smartest. You do what's most practical to you. A vampire I'd say wouldn't be on any my lists personally, but you did it to survive. The word you live by is to survive. And we all do it."

She lowered her head. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me...somehow. I wanted to see her face. I pulled my own head back to let her look at me. She wanted us to be as Nightingales. We both were. This was no longer about that. This was between us associates...and friends.

She shivered as I pulled her hood back to let me look at her face. I battered my eye lids as I looked at her bony thin structure, nose slightly pointed. Her eyes had a hunger to them, though that would have been a natural, from what I've read. Her face just appeared as it was carved from stone, sharp and smooth in all the right places.

I removed my glove and felt it with the palm of my hand. It was so cold...soulless...

"You're not afraid of what you see?" She asked me, voice quivering.

I gave a warm smile and caressed her cheek, not caring how it felt.

"Of course not. You're still Petra. I can tell. I know you. And that's the best part of it. No matter who you are or what you become, you are still you regardless."

She closed her eyes as I watched a single tear drop from her eye. She pulled back and walked away, her back towards me.

"...I never deserved your kindness...still don't I think. Mercer said that...all I do is just cause you misery with all this crap. I really am Doom-Driven." She spoke sadly.

"I'm just happy to help." I told her. It's true.

"But I also know that you're far too valuable to me..."

_Shit_

"I mean,  _uhhhh_  the guild, to sit around in the darkness on your own. We'll respect your privacy, but you can't turn away from people in need. Because as much as you try to push people away, you still care about them in the end. We all know that. The whole guild knows."

Why I back-pedalled there was because of nerves. Seriously, it's difficult to get the word out to her.

She grumbled.

"I don't care what the Guild thinks. But you're right. We're scum, but at least we're higher level scum. We have our own set of rules and regulations and we stand by them with honour. We're rabble, but we're organised rabble. We know what we do and we're good at it."

That sounded a lot better. I felt more relaxed about her change of tone. She turned back to me and pulled her hood back once more.

"You're strong willed enough Petra...I... _I_  can feel it. What ever choice you decide to make, I won't stop you."

She crossed her arms and tapped her finger on her bicep, then lowered her chin.

"I took the key back. Did the trials there. Easier with the Vampire form I assure you. I then met Nocturnal herself." She said so casually.

My eyes widened.

"Really?" I said with surprise.

I then grinned.

"I'm actually not surprised. What did she have to say?"

Petra shrugged.

"She said I performed my duties to the letter and assured me that wealth and better days were ahead. Which I'd say the Guild is alive and well." She continued. How astute.

"Thanks to you." I complimented her, watching her blush. Which you wouldn't think a vampire would.

"But she didn't make comment about..." I said as I gestured towards her more blood-appetite nuanced self.

Petra nodded.

"She knew about Mercer's betrayal and our...dispute...in Coldharbour. Said I had guts to make the sacrifice...I assured her my allegiance to her was solid and if she wanted me to cure myself of it, that I will." She explained.

I tilted my head. Interesting.

"And..." I urged

The girl scratched her head.

"Don't know. She's cryptic. Claimed my spirit was free but wouldn't say why." She said.

I had no idea either.

"So she didn't..."

Petra bit her lip.

"Yeah...but now that I look at you, I see myself as a fool to doubt you or the Guild. Nightingales should stick together and all that nonsense...but..." She said as her voice became weaker.

I approached her slowly. I had to be cautious, or else she'll attempt to shield herself.

"But..."

She looked away.

"I think of all the times that you've helped me out and right now you're still doing it and I can't...I feel guilty for leaving you alone like that. I've taken so much but given you so little. I'm not talking about thieving mind you."

I got closer and rubbed her arms. Her words and the way she said them so softly was kind..of cute. I hate using that word. But there wasn't any other to describe it.

"That's who I am lass." I told her.

"We've been through so much and I'll never back down."

She opened her mouth, but all she did was tumble into my arms and weep. My heart jumped and I felt flushed. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back. Mercer was gone. So the lass was free to do as she so wished. I could get her back on track on her original goal, instead of sealing herself in and feeling sorry for herself. But I felt her...release instead. She was so tense but just broke around me. She killed Mercer though and I'm not sure if I wanted to see the very moment she killed him. From Vex's descriptions, it was gruesome.

After what he did to her and to the Guild, he deserved everything that came to him in the end.

I felt Petra shift underneath me, her chin resting on my chest with her beady eyes staring at me, like they were made of crystal. I just...craved to kiss those lips already. The temptation was stronger than ever but...I couldn't do that to her.

"Bryn?" She mumbled.

"Mmm?" I replied, continuing to hold her close to me.

"I think...I think I want to go home now. But I don't know...how the others will react."

I wouldn't want any of them to touch her. If they did, they'll pay for it. But she was right though. Vampires make people on edge, including myself. Petra is an exception, obviously.

"You...could always make me a Vampire?" I joked.

I was then met with a thump on the head. Very poor choice of words.

"Sorry! Sorry lass...didn't mean it. Although if it helps, so you don't have to be alone." I assured her.

Her head shifted, her face scrunched as she gave a piercing glower.

"No. Bryn you're too important. Stop that." She told me outright.

I smiled and gently rubbed her head.

"Okay then, so what do you want to do?"

She thought about it deeply, I could tell.

"Well, I'll return home on one condition. You help me cure my vampirism...make Karliah Guildmaster and we'll go to the Greybeards. Sound fair?"

More like three, but she surprised me with that second request. Curing would be difficult but doable I'd hope, but Karliah as Guildmaster? It was an option I hadn't considered and it would require the others to agree, but it could more appropriate than I thought. But to go the Greybeards? Sure! Why not? That'd been our goal all along hadn't it?

I nodded.

"Great. I like that idea. We'll need to head back to Riften to start. Hmm...since, well, you're as much part have decisions for the Guild itself if anything. Just keep your hood on and no one will notice what you are, except for the three that do." I suggested. I'd have to urge caution on that front.

"Urgh...but they're gonna wanna know why I'm being shady. I mean, it's our job to be shady, but you know what I mean." She growled.

I chuckled. We'll figure it out.

"Just pretend your sick and say you don't want anyone to look at your tired face or get them infected." I said as both a joke and a suggestion.

For the first time in a while, the sound of her laughter brought forth a warmth and was music to my ears; as it fastened my heartbeat.

"Alright, if they'll believe that story." She spoke sarcastically.

We let go of one another, before shaking hands on it. This was going to be tedious task but I'm certain we'll get through it okay and with renewed strength.

Thank you Petra, for being you.


	36. Mead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Brynjolf promote their new Guildmaster, before heading out for a journey to cure Petra's vampirism, but not before we see a bizarre side of Brynjolf when affected by a lot of bottles of mead.

 

I used to wonder why he bothered. He'd say a thousand different excuses and I still wouldn't believe him.

But yes...

I'd isolated myself purely because I felt it was the right thing to do. I was worried Nocturnal would berate me for my own choices. Then you remember I'm a thief. Stealing isn't exactly a good choice in the matter. I returned the key, did what I needed to do, then moved on.

And...I cared about Bryn. I really do. He means a lot to me. But he didn't mind what I was, he just...seethed at my attempts to get away. I honestly did it for his own good. So he could be focused. I really hoped he would lead the Guild, but like me, he was too stubborn to change his mind.

Karliah was the next choice in line. For all the wrongs done to her as well, she had lasted this long and was finally set free. Free to give Skyrim the biggest crime spree it's ever known. And she deserves to do so as well. I'd wager next to Mercer and Gallus she would be the most experienced and had seen all angles. Some would state Delvin, since he's been around the same, but Karliah learned from the best, going by our previous talks.

But looking at the bigger picture, I couldn't weigh Bryn down any more than I already did. I did it because he's a good man who had a good thing going and I unknowingly ruined everything. But he was insistent that I was best thing to ever happen to the Thieves Guild in a long time. Some days I wish he'd take one long look at himself, then pat himself on the back occasionally. Or at least get drunk and party with the rest of us. Never seen him get drunk before.

During my time as Vampire, I still kept up with my duties. I'd never sever the ties with the Guild. The fact of having secrets, contacts and connections with a lot of borderline moral people was actually exciting. And the fact that we all flowed well together is what made the experience so perfect. Being a monster of the night made it hard, although not to difficult. I did tell Bryn that it was easy to withhold the need to feed, when in actual fact it was quite hard. I just had a good strong will to suppress the hunger as well as occasionally going out and directing that hunger somewhere where it could be used and not hurt innocent people. At least not physically.

No doubt this is a world of people living in black and white, but we thrived on people in the grey area. They were nice enough but not afraid to break the law when it warrants it. It helps having the guards in your pocket as well if anything went wrong. It must drive the victims of burglary nuts, with the amount of times we steal.

The Khajiit caravans were highly useful as well. They could get merchandise from other provinces and they could buy all the junk I find elsewhere. Whether it's in someone's home or in some dark, dingy cave if it's worth something they'll buy it.

So none of us were crystal clean in all of this. But when it comes to me, who's currently violating the laws of Arkay, people would cry VAMPIRE! And attempt to kill. When Brynjolf and I returned to the Guild, we kept our arrival quiet, but I had a feeling they already knew I was back. Though the others probably ordered the rest of the guild to leave me alone. I hope they did. Vex, Tonilia and Sapphire already knew of my predicament and probably threatened the guys if they came near me. Though once I get cured and come back, they can chat to me all they want. I wouldn't be a threat to them any longer. After all, they were family.

I stood behind Bryn most of the time, sticking to the shadows as much as we could. We went over to the desk and talked. Karliah had come by as well, checking in on things and interested why I had my hood on.

Brynjolf raised his index to his lips before Karliah even opened her mouth. She understood soon enough, though was confused by the whole thing. I don't blame her. After what happened, even with the Guild back to full strength, there was still a whole slew of issues to take care of. Some of them involving me unfortunately.

"Alright I won't question it. But I will question what actually happened at the Twilight Sepulcher? While everythings sorted there you just vanished. I was worried Nocturnal..."

"No, I'm sure Nocturnal didn't kill me Karliah, or else I wouldn't be standing here." I assured her with a smile.

"Okay then. You still hadn't explained what happened with Mercer either. We're not calling you a liar, we all know he's dead. But you never gave us the chance to speak to you about what went on."

I looked down. Should I really tell her?

"Many things my dunmer friend. Many things." I said subtly. I don't know whether she was able to absorb all that information I'd give her or she'd just get confused as Brynjolf was.

But I could tell she was also annoyed by the fact that I wasn't telling her how Mercer went down either. She was eager for the tales of how I bashed the shit out of the breton man.

"It involved me...a tower in a plane of Oblivion, vampires and a mace." I explained in the most modest of terms.

Karliah tilted her head, running the course through her head.

"You went to Coldharbour?" She questioned with surprise.

I often forgot Dunmer were highly affiliated with Daedric Princes. Idiot Petra, you were serving Nocturnal for the Gods sake!

I forced a nervous smile at Karliah.

"Uhhh  _yeahh..._ "

She didn't look too happy with that response. Nobody would be.

"Petra, that is a pretty big deal. Mercer dealing with vampires. It explains a bit more, but raises new questions." She said, concerned about such matters.

Brynjolf decided to step into our conversation.

"Yes, we can talk about Daedra and Vampires another time...right now we have bigger things to worry about." He interrupted, before it got more awkward.

I stood back and crossed my arms as Brynjolf relayed information to the violet-eyed elf. It was clear that she was hesitant, but ultimately, she had our confidence in her to succeed.

"Karliah, Petra and I discussed this on our way back, and we decided it would be best that you be the Guildmaster." He told her outright with confidence and nary a pinch of hesitation.

She was visibly shocked.

"Me? Guildmaster? Surely you jest!" She spoke, still stunned.

We both shook our heads.

"Mercer sold you out. He killed Gallus and he tried killing you and Petra and had used the Guild as a means to an end. Petra and I will be gone for a while and we need someone like you to keep this guild in line. And plus Vex and Delvin will be glad to help you out."

Karliah looked at us both suspiciously, as if we had some alternate idea in mind. I mean, we did but...the look she gave was briefly mischievious, before it turned back to serious.

"You honestly think the Guild is going to trust me as their leader?" She questioned us.

Brynjolf and I exchanged glances. This might need some convincing. Like with me, such change and acceptance will not happen over night.

"Karliah you're a fantastic person. You've lasted this long and I'm genuinely impressed with your skills. I mean, Bryn and I won't be going that far, hopefully just within Skyrim. Just send us a courier or something. I don't think we'll be unreachable as far as I'm aware." I told her. How true that was debatable.

Although what we were going to do was mostly uncertain for sure. But I was meant to do this and I'll see through till the end. However, I will put the Guild first for anything. And if Bryn was needed more than me than so be it. I wasn't going to argue.

Brynjolf agreed.

"The lass is right Karliah. I also believe you'll make a great leader. You learned from one of the best. Surely you'll earn their respect if you tell them your stories." Bryn assured.

Karliah gritted her teeth. She could have been willing to do it, but the look in her eyes suggested it might impact her negatively. Judging how her own lover was once the boss. But Brynjolf was right. She did learn a lot from him. I only met the man once...as a spirit and he was very strong and willing even under the dire situation the Guild was in.

"If the pair of you have that much confidence in me, I'll...consider it. Gallus was a great teacher. And as Nightingale it just seems...right. A void in my life has been filled it would seem..."

Didn't actually take her long to get her self pumped up for the position. She was reluctant. I mean, we could have chosen Delvin of all people, but then Vex would crack the shits. I still think those two just need a nice date together. They frustrate me with their tension sometimes. But other than that, I'm certain it would be a challenge for her nonetheless, but one she would embrace.

As luck would have it, the others had apologised for their wrongsays. These weren't the honest of people, but they knew where they were wrong in jumping the bow a bit, and outright realized how we were all wronged. It wouldn't be long before everything would be set right again.

Though affairs would still be handled normally, they weren't with two of their best thieves. But I would still keep in practice from time to time to make sure I wouldn't get rusty. We set our version of coronation for our 'queen', with Karliah being vaguely embarrased by the whole thing, then Brynjolf told everyone else to get back to work. I made a subtle laugh about it all. But the rest seemed to happy with it. Life went on as normal, like nothing changed. I was jealous.

* * *

Karliah met me and Brynjolf out by the exist of the cistern. Obviously to meet us out. I wish her luck in her endeavours and just know she'll make a great representative the Guild. One that was surely needed. She didn't have to meet high expectations, considering the actions of the last Guildmaster. In my gut of guts, she'll take care of her rogues.

"Well, this is it then." Kariah mentioned with a hint of sadness. The temporary parting of the Nightingale Trinity.

"I can't thank either of you enough for what you've done for me."

I grinned and hugged her.

"No, I should be thanking you Karliah. You've been great and too good to us. I'm glad we could get things sorted as they did." I complimented.

Karliah blushed.

"Too kind Petra. I wish you well on your journey. Oh and Tonilia told me to give you these..." She said as she looked down.

I'd forgotten to see that Karliah had black armour in her hands.

"She said you're just as important as a Guildmaster and wanted to welcome you with the standard special armour...and this necklace to with it. She said it would be better than the...expletive gear you've got on now."

I looked at it, then looked at Brynjolf, who was smiling.

I turned back to Karliah.

"We best get moving. Bye!"

* * *

I don't know if Karliah figured it out or that the others told her eventually I was a Vampire. I couldn't tell if the Guild somehow knew already. If they did, perhaps the others would tell them to shut the Oblivion up and mind their own business, lest the fangs pop out.

Either way, it didn't matter. Brynjolf and I headed out of town and grabbed our horses. We had no where planned just yet, but we'd headed off towards what ever direction suited us best. Now, yes our intentions were to go to the Greybeards and obviously you go to Ivarstead. I wanted to get read of this vampirism but had no way of knowing how.

Brynjolf made the suggestion of heading there anyway. Surely they'd understand, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure on the matter of how it was going to be. But, we eventually decided to College of Winterhold would be the better source of information on the cure and rode our horses to the north.

It made sense, but Bryn berated me, that for all the books I had at the Uttering Hills camp, that none of them had anything on actually curing it. I rolled my eyes. I had the books shipped back down to Riften and gave them to what's her name, Ingun. I'd also managed to find the ingredients she was looking for in the meanwhile and shipped them to her too so she wouldn't have to bother me so much any more.

But anyway.

We made it to Winterhold in the midst of the night. While I was fine in the dark I noticed Bryn all quiet like. I'd forgotten what fatigue from lack of sleep was like. I'd sleep during the day of course, since most of my work needed the shadows to ply our trade, but Brynjolf had been busy, even more so. And he needed sleep.

He didn't say anything as we left our horses out the outskirts of the deadbeat down. Deader than me at least. As always the town was in a snowstorm, so we visited the local inn instead. I left Brynjolf there for a bit told him to wait and have a drink or two. He nodded and did as he was asked, then went to the College to meet up with Enthir.

I'd had to negotiate with the Altmer guarding the place, but my experiences as a Vampire helped me prove my worth before heading into the College itself. Large place but bizarre location. I was forced to be shown around the grounds. I let them do their thing for the next half hour. I could come back here if I had to. I was told where to find the Arcaneum, where some old orc was the librarian there. I went to speak with another familiar face first before I did any research...

Lastly I found Enthir in one of the room and spoke with him. He'd asked me about Karliah and how she was doing. I told him that she's Guildmaster now, which made him happy.

"So, I doubt you came out all this way to just have a chat. I assume your here on business." He queried. Straight to business.

"Correct. Enthir, don't be alarmed on what I'm about to tell and please keep your voice down."

He snorted.

"Hardly anything is surprising these days. Hit me." He said, seemingly disinterested.

Alright...

"Do you know anything about a cure for vampires?" I whispered.

His eyes widened. So much for being Mr. Unsurprising.

"Uhh...not really. Wait, I do know there's a Redguard by the name of Falion who might know. Rumour has it that he's delved into the topic of Vampires but not actually one himself. Go figure." He explained.

A vampire expert. Perfect.

"Where would I find this Redguard?" I asked.

Enthir pondered.

"He's living in Morthal at the moment. Oh and take this..." He said as he pulled something out.

He gave me a dark violet crystal.

"You wanna deal with Black Soul Gems with this guy. Give it to him and use it well. It's on the house."

I smiled. Black Soul Gems weren't cheap. But if it was going to help...

"Appreciate your assistance." I thanked him. Didn't need to see the grumpy old orc after all.

Enthir grinned.

"Anytime. Send Karliah my regards."

* * *

Now we were making progress. All we had to do now, was head to Morthal and find this Falion fellow. I think that it may sound simple, but somewhere in the back of my mind was the knowing that it may been more complicated than it seems. But if he could do it, I wasn't going to care anyway.

I went back to the Frozen Hearth, finding Brynjolf already having drunk several bottles of mead in my absence. By Nocturnal...

I approached him nonetheless with the new information I was given. He may get pretty excited that's for sure. I think he's needed this type of adventure for a long time. Being a thief is no doubt adventurous, but for what I could become, was to explore places that hadn't been visited in thousands of years. And I get to have the uhh...most...um...uhh, you know, amazing guy by my side? Ahem.

I wanted to keep an eye on him though, to make sure he wasn't overdoing himself for my sake. He had bags underneath his eyes as he drank down a bottle of.. probably seventh mead. Just...exhaustion was written all over his ragged face. Poor thing. I felt bad for letting him worry about me. And sometimes I feel like I should have just left things as is. But he remains as dedicated as ever.

"I'll go rent us a room." I told him.

He looked up at me. I've never seen him so weary. Woozy crossed with boozy. Sorry.

"No it's fine lass." He said, his voice low and slurred.

I glared at him.

"No...it's not. You're tired and it's my fault for making you do the run arounds. I don't need to sleep if I don't want to. But you're...you're still human. You're going to bed." I told him out right.

The way his eyes looked at me were heavy with burden and fatigue. I seriously had to keep that in mind next time. I walked over the innkeeper and paid him the coin to hire a room. I turned back to Brynjolf, who was still hunched over his drink. I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously? You're going to be like that?" I called out to him.

He ignored me and took another sip from his drink. He placed the bottle down eventually and stood up.

"I'll only go to bed, if you put me there." He joked. How much mead did he have again?

"I'm just joking lass. But seriously though, you're right.. It's..."

I groaned and pulled him to stop his yapping. What a reversal...I had to take care of him now.

"I'll put you to bed alright. Just shut up!"

"Aye..."

It took me a bit. I managed to drag him to the bedoom, with the innkeeper watching on with a puzzled eye. I plonked him on the bed, which for some reason, got him excited. I closed the door. I feared I'd have to some yelling otherwise.

I took a deep breath.

"Okay Bryn, what gives?" I scorned as I put my hands to put my hips.

He struggled to sit up on the bed. He did eventually.

"I'm sorry lass. Just...I'm not normally like that you know. I was speaking with some elf by the name of Nelacar. We joked and drunk and before you know it, I'm whacked like a horker on skooma."

I was not amused. Though interesting analogy

"Yes and you're also tired. I've been ignorant of normal bodily functions like sleep lately. I want you to rest for me. We're heading to Morthal in the morning."

Brynjolf nodded. At least he understood that much. But the look of disappointment on his face was depressing.

"Alright, alright. Can't a man have a drink once in a while?" He slurred.

I couldn't help but smile. It was fun seeing Brynjolf act like this. But still sad. Actually, I don't even recall seeing Bryn drink like this.

I wanted to believe his story about him and the elf...but they must have had some heavy conversation after I got back.

He looked like an innocent puppy as he looked at me with teary eyes. By the Nine I haven't been this drunk myself...never cared much for doing so, maybe from when I was living in Cyrodiil when I was younger. I wandered over to the bed and helped Brynjolf take off his boots. He looked like he had trouble taking them off. He gave me a drunken smile and thanked me for my help. Gods help me.

I took mine off as well. Brynjolf was currently in a mead-induced depression for falling for some apparent elf's business and was just slow, lanky and joyless. I sighed as I laid on the bed next to him, much to his surprise. Seriously Bryn we've done this before. Why does it surprise you now? Stupid, stupid mead.

I helped him lay on me as I laid my back against the wall behind me. This was so awkward. I was a miniature doll compared to him, but somehow rested his chin on my shoulder, and adjusted his head in the crook of my neck, his forehead resting against my cheek. I had one arm over him as he fought (and failed) off sleep.

"You're so cold lass..." He commented, voice soft and weak.

Yes because I'm a vampire. How many times must I explain this?

"Well if you don't like it I'll go elsewhere..." I told him straight up. If he wasn't going to be comfortable then I'd move for him.

He pulled his arm over me, with his hand resting on my side, which he then squeezed. Oh jeez...

"No...don't...don't go anywhere lass. I feel warmer with you here with me."

My cheeks warmed up heavily. Then I saw that idiotic grin of his as he adjusted himself so more.

"Fine. But tell me, what are you sad about? The fact that I've taken you away from the Guild is that it?"

There was a slight pause where refused to answer until I looked at his ragged face again.

"Of course. I love the Guild. But I love you more..."

I shook my head with disbelief. Pity the mead was doing the talking.

His hand slithered up to meet the other side of my neck, them crawled it up to my chin. Brynjolf couldn't be drunk enough to mess with me. I'll let him do what he needs until he falls asleep. If he goes too far I'll kick his red-headed ass outside in the cold and into the Sea of Ghosts. While it was adorable to see him like that, I don't want him to do anything he'll end up regretting, but for now, he was still that teddy bear, but now entertaining.

"Yeah yeah...if you ever want to go back, let me know. I don't mind if I have to journey this alone any more." I told him, goodness knows if he'll remember it.

His expression changed as if he'd been offended.

"No, I made a promise and I'm sticking to it lass." He told me outright. His attempts to sound serious with a solid tone failed, coming out even more slurred.

I shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

It was nice feeling his warmth alongside me again. I know the...unpleasant experience we had at Nightingale Hall was certainly one of a misunderstanding, but I couldn't shake that off that easily as he rubbed against me that morning. So he actually wanted to release some tension. Makes sense. He's a male. But he still needed to know his place.

He kept running his fingers up and down my neck, fascinated by it's porcelain qualities. That just happens to someone like me. When I turn back I'd be less pale. It was perplexing as to why he was still..so interested in me at all. You think that now and say, 'that's not what friends do with each other'.

Who cares? Intimacy made us feel better. Not necessarily for each other but for ourselves. I cared about Brynjolf and felt more cosy with him than any other. We'd been through a lot together...and still..

He deserved a lot better than me forcing him down this twisted cruel fate with me. My heart wants him to stay and be close while my head tells me logically he shouldn't. I didn't know who was right.

"Petra?" He muttered to me.

"Mmm?" I responded apathetically.

"Can...can I...kiss you?" He murmured nervously.

I tilted my head down at him.

"Why?" I asked. Don't tell me he was listening to his loins again.

"I wanted to feel those sharp teeth of yours...you know...I've never really met a vampire before. Especially not one as beautiful as you."

I felt a sharp pang in my chest as he leered at me with the combination of those words. I had to be rational about this, because Bryn was in no state to think properly.

"Well...thanks...I guess? But I don't think you want to..." I told him...more concerned about other matters involved.

He was disappointed again.

"Oh...but I do lass...I promise to be careful..."

How in Oblivion was my face turning red all the time when I'm an undead...wait...

"You don't want to kiss me. That's borderline necrophilia." I was trying to convince him that it was a bad idea.

He chuckled and nuzzled his nose against my neck and smile. The hairs on my skin rose as his beard and stubble rubbed on me. Funny feeling that.

"Okay, two things. One, you're alive. You are not a ghost or a walking corpse. And two...your heart still beats. There may be no pulse on your neck, but I just know these things."

Yes of course romance boy. Sigh.

"If you don't want me to kiss you that's fine. I'll respect your decision. I really do like you Petra."

Again with the mead talking. I'll just play along. Mostly because he's my friend and I...well I do like him back. I'll reaffirm that I just don't want him to do something he'll regret later. I want him to sober before he makes any hardcore decisions. While a kiss like that would be potentially dangerous, I could let him kiss me on the lips instead. No harm in that. I probably owe him dozens of kisses by now.

"Just...on the lips. No feeling my teeth with your tongue okay? I can't afford to have anything happen to you." I explained to him clearly, I wanted him to get that message into his muddled little head.

And he actually looked at me with such dramatic shock. Damn it was funny to see. Especially from Brynjolf. He was like a kid. Just...so lovable.

He slowly but surely put his face closer to mine. My heart...or what ever was beating quickly. Seriously I don't know what other differences we have to the living other than being cold. Really contradictory. I could smell said mead on his breath. Wasn't the worst of smells...mostly honey and sweet smelling. But his breath was heavy through his nose so it got louder as he got close to me.

His eyes were closed as I prepared myself as well, resting own eyes. I was expecting something, but felt nothing but something heavy hit my chest.

I chuckled slightly as the man had passed out in the process. I'd finally succeeded in doing what I was intending to do. So now he can rest.

I laid there still awake as I carefully moved his head to my lap and started patting his head.

Seriously, poor guy. Just needs a woman to take care of him. Okay, I'm trying to blast out with laughter here but the man just needs to sleep the night away and I'll keep watch.

Thanks Brynjolf for being amusing tonight. Sweet dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some inns don't bother with doors.


	37. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf recalls a bit of the night before, recalling his chat with an Altmer who studies stars, as well their discussion into Bryn's love life.

 

 

I'd woken up that morning, finding my head resting on a long pair of black leg like things. Turns out they were actually legs.

Petra's.

My head hurt slightly as I recalled what I was doing the night before. I'd spoken with the elf Nelacar. Altmer, wearing the usual blue robes one would find hanging around the College. Magic wasn't my thing, but as long as it worked, I didn't care how.

I bided my time waiting for Petra to get the information we needed in order to cure her vampirism. She was awfully bubbly about it though. Like she was looking forward to getting rid of it. I guess my speech got through to her. It gets hard sometimes to determine her trail of thought and what ultimately gives her certain conclusions.

I run my fingers on the bottle of mead before me, sitting inside this tavern with a ghost town forgotten by snow and time. It was cold. You'd think we want something warmer. To tell the truth we'd gotten here in a hurry and hadn't much time to rest. But Petra herself was wide awake without any sign of her being tired what so ever. Came with the curse it seemed.

She lead the show of course and I was only too happy to help. Only to not really consider too much about my own health, both mental and physical. I'm capable. I'm not that old. No, I might still have decades before thinking anything else in fact.

I lost the track of time as fatigue made me numb as I drank the mead. Nelacar came in and for what ever prompted him to sit next to me and have one too. I paid him no mind and it was nice to have conversation with someone and not be alone in the dark. He knew I had something on my mind. People had a lot of talent with doing that these days. Aye, and it was quick irritating how they always picked on the girl troubles. I still don't know how they automatically assume that.

Turns out Nelacar had a girl back in Morrowind many years ago. Killed by the Argonian ambushes. She was an Dunmer, surprisingly. So you had the light of the Altmer alongside him. Must have been one heck of a relationship. You'd have to have the same issues in order to remotely detect that any one else had the same problem. You had to experience it first hand.

"So, who's the girl then?" He asked me, giving me my what, third bottle of mead?

I popped open and took a huge scull and wiped my face with the back of my hand.

"Oh. She's an associate of mine. We're on a little adventure...you know, scouting ruins and caves and all that muck" I told him, without going into too much detail.

Nelacar smirked. He knew something I didn't apparently.

"That sounds fun. Romantic too. If you're into that sort of thing." He commented.

I shrugged.

"Her idea. I offered to help her out. As her colleague, we'd make a great team."

Nelacar rose an eyebrow and took a sip of his bottle.

"Ahh so you work together hmm? That's normally where it all starts. I might not look like it and not many people are aware of my own escapades not just here, but also in the Summetset Isles and Morrowind. I wooed the odd girl here and there, since my family were part of the Thalmor. I've no love for the group myself but we ended up very rich. So the girls just came to me." He spoke of, arrogantly. He took another sip straight after.

Sounded like another elf I knew in the Guild.

"So you left the Isles and found the perfect woman I presume?" I asked him. I still wanted to know an Altmer managed to marry a Dunmer. The races never really saw eye to eye.

"I studied enchantments greatly. I'd also had heard something called Azura's Star, a daedric artifact had found itself there. The Dunmer people worship Azura highly alongside the rest of their heathen rituals. I wasn't going to judge, really. My people are just prejudiced."

I chuckled. He wasn't wrong there.

"I found an Azura Priestess, the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Lucky I was on the other side of the province. My family would have killed me if they found out."

My family wouldn't give much if they saw me now. I'm pretty sure they're lingering around somewhere. Haven't seen them in years.

"But despite all my wealth the woman was never interested. So I went the hard yards into getting her to notice me instead of devoting all her time to the Daedric Prince."

Sometimes they got over the top. I keep forgetting our allegiance to Nocturnal sometimes, but at least that Daedra hardly cared for prayer and alms. We were lucky. Pun notwithstanding. But you tend to not realise that she's there, working in the shadows, aiding us with the Nightingales of the past. Or Karliah says so anyways. I'd ultimately find that just a tad creepy. I like being alone in my own pursuits.

"It took all my time and effort and I realised I was never going to win her by taking her away from what she loved so much. I stuck by her and, for a short time, became a Priest of Azura. Gods know how blind in love I was."

Amusing thought. Petra and I no doubt enjoyed what we do. So having something in common was a bonus. Maybe even one step ahead.

"So you're good at this stage. If you guys like what you're doing now, you have an understanding. So...that worked! She began to appreciate my sacrifice, but she was also pointing out by asking whether or not I was doing this to get into her pants."

I sculled the rest of the bottle. I think that was my fourth one finished. I couldn't even remember finishing the third.

"She was mistaken of course, I told her that I liked what she was doing. That I wanted to walk hand and hand and talk about stuff like magic and Azura. Besides her beauty, sometimes you just fall in love at first sight and don't even realise it. And you want an explanation as to why it even occurred. We're scholars! It's our job to find the answers. But like some questions, it's probably better that it didn't. Or maybe it did but you never go ahead and find out."

Petra was the same, I guess. Gorgeous girl just turns up in my life one day. Sounds like something in the story. It might just be true. Aye, no doubt in my mind tells me that I do love her, the problem being was telling her and if she was willing to partake in a relationship.

"Aye, this lass, she means a lot to me, but I fear rejection or bothering her. She's been going through rough times and she doesn't need that type of distraction." I explained. My eyes were getting blurrier by the moment.

Nelacar slapped me on the back. I think he was drunk already.

"So you don't even know if she likes you back? Hmm...that's the hard part. I let my future-wife at the time know constantly how I felt. But you never even hinted at it? Listen to me, my good Nord friend you need to tell her. Women like to be told."

I lifted my chin up, never realised how heavy it was until now, as my eyelids felt like they were being weighed down and party of who knows what going on inside my head.

"I've...I've tried telling her lad. It's harder than I thought it would be. Because with attempt I've tried it's never been the right time."

I subconsciously finished off the fifth bottle. I couldn't track down how large my sculls were or how long I was taking between drinks. The mead made the depressive state I was in a little more bearable, but I'd become rather emotional. Not really something I do often. He got himself and I another to swig.

"Never is. But you have to be persistent! Not overly pushy but willing to do what it takes. How close are you to her, anyway?" He wondered. Awfully inquisitive. I'd just say that's part of his nature as a scholar.

I looked down the neck of the bottle. I've tried that for other reasons bu...

"We..she's...I've..." I stuttered, as I checked to make sure my Amulet wasn't broken as I fumbled with it. 

I couldn't categorised it properly without jotting down the amount of time we spent together already as colleagues and friends. But friends don't usually hug or sleep on the same bed together. I got a flashback to that day at Nightingale Hall. I felt a small jolt after I had quite the embarrassingly arousing dream I had about her. I don't look at that too fondly at all. But we've embraced with one another without too much of a hassle, but she let me in and was warmer to me as I was warmer to her.

Remember, I've flirted with various women...but as I said before, I've never been with any. Just...never had the time you know, with all the work the Guild had me hammering down on. I didn't want this to get too messy. I cared about Petra too much to get her mind racing on stuff that didn't matter, and would get her highly off focus to her real goals.

"So you're sure you're not on the journey to get with her?" Nelacar asked with another  evil smirk on his face as he raised his bottle of mead at me. I glared at him.

"No! Or course not! Look, the whole situation is hard to explain. And even if I didn't love her, I would still help her out." I said, although it was to tell I was trying to push the matter away.

Nelacar's smile went wider. Why was I telling this to someone I'd just met? Most of the this was definitely the mead talking.

"How do you know that friend? Would you have just left her there on her own? On some mystical, maybe, journey for just work. Pretend she's me okay? If I was her and doing what you guys were doing now, would you still go?" He quizzed.

Not the sort of question I would ask under my sixth mead. Nor would I answer it sober.

"You have to look at our circumstances. I don't exactly trust you. I just met you lad. But, if you trusted me enough to handle what ever work required assistance then so be it."

He had a tankard of ale this time. I was just getting more blanked out...making anything else harder to recall.

"Am I me? Or am I her? Look at it differently. I am her. But you don't have feelings for me, obviously, and Gods forbid you do. You trust me. I am an ally. Would you still help out?"

I took another swig. I wouldn't screw him even if I had twenty bottles of mead. But it would depend if he was a member of the guild still learning the ropes. Wanting to stop untimely deaths, that sort of thing.

"Why wouldn't I? You would be part of what we are. You would have proven yourself to us and worthy of our help. It goes both ways." I said. No I don't go both ways.

Nelacar shrugged.

"Ah good. I was just testing. I was wrong. You're a good friend then. So I hope this girl of yours actually becomes yours in the end."

Shor knows what I would do if I did. I don't know how to enact of these things. Just makes me nervous and a little bit scared actually. Last thing I wanna do is hurt Petra. But I was going to tell her.

"I'm going to tell her." I said outright. That was...indeed blunt.

"I'll tell her, then I'm going to ask if I can kiss her."

Nelacar's eyebrows nearly bounced off his head.

"Woah there friend. That's a bit...off putting don't you think?"

Now onto my seventh mead. I honestly didn't know what was coming out of my mouth anymore. Head was burdened with garbled pangs, like what ever my thoughts were, failed to translate out of my mouth properly. Eyelids were getting heavier too. I looked down at my bottle again and laid my fist on table, still hunched over.

"Maybe you're right lad. But I won't know for sure unless I tell her. I could fit it into a conversation. Like be serious but make a joke out of it." I stated. I honestly didn't understand what I actually was trying to say.

Nelacar rubbed his chin, then took a sip of his ale.

"Is this how Nords traditionally attract women? Never heard of that bizarre suggestion before. I thought you people were all Amulet's of Mara, less wooing and more about the lack of time you all have, then you pump out all these babies..."

I spat my drink. No, not that!

"I'm _not_  marrying Petra." I told him. Just don't know what I was blurting but I said it anyway.

He lowered his head and gave that mage studied stare at me. I hated it.

"But will you...and do you  _want_  to?" He questioned. Sounded like my father, actually.

I tensed my shoulders up at the very thought, then released with breathing out.

"I...I don't know. She's important to me but she's needed more out there." I said with sadness.

Nela crossed his arms.

"So you're saying she's married to the job?"

I looked up with half lidded eyes and a half-dropped mouth.

"Uhh...maybe? She like's it well enough. She's one of the best." I stated proudly, though my tone and I inflection wavered with the influences in me.

Nelacar snorted.

"But you're close! I know you are I can see it. How you go on about her. How you help her. You two would be crazy not to get married. I don't know the girl myself but it's a shame she doesn't notice you. She must be something special indeed."

I drank half of the seventh mead then before I knew it, the eighth one was waiting for me. I can no longer vouch for my own words. But I made a lazy nod in agreement. He was right. Too right.

"My advice is give up the subtlety and just make with the proper flirting. You're skirting it around too much that she's probably gotten used to it that she makes it no different from your regular behaviour. That's if you are still unable to tell her of course." He advised me.

I looked up at him, twirling my finger around the bottle head.. I wasn't up to my eighth just yet, but I was getting there.

"You think that'll work?" I questioned.

He shrugged.

"I don't know...that's just been my experience with women. They'll either read the signs or ignore them completely. Because she knows she's seeing the same thing over and over."

He had a point there, surprisingly. The lass and I were so comfortable with one another, that what we had between us appeared as normal without any higher implications. Friends don't cuddle like that or touch each other to wipe off our tears. People don't touch each other in general unless they're in love. We had a...special friendship.

Nelacar stood up from his bench and stretched his limbs.

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I best be off to rest. You though...I wish you the best of luck. I hope to hear wedding bells in the near future."

* * *

I nodded in thanks as he headed off to bed in his room, while I brooded to contemplate his words.

Should I up my game a bit? I fear I've offended Petra. I know with all that occurred between her and Mercer wouldn't have left a pretty mark. I didn't want to treat her like I treated other women to use them. Only for work purposes of course. Mercer used to call me the red hunk because he felt that I was the most attractive man in the guild and that I should be it's mascot to get more female recruits. Funny thought that, considering that he turned out to be a huge narcissist. But looking on it back more made for some disturbing revelations indeed.

At this stage I was deep in thought that I didn't notice Petra returning. My feelings were haywire and what I said what was just based off what Nelacar told me but written in mead for notes.

I flirted with her, which she didn't fall for. She must have seen the bottles of mead still left on the table and made the conclusion I was drunk. Smart lass.

I digress though. She'd let me try and kiss her at least, but never took my admission that I loved her seriously enough. The words were too casual and funny and knew instantly that everything I said probably wasn't true to her and that I was messed up.

Looking back now, I was.

* * *

Aye, then after I woke up that morning, after seeing the black legs I turned my head around to look up at Petra, her bony thin face smiling at me. Still didn't care what she was. My head was groggy, but otherwise I was fine. I grinned back. So tired that I wanted to snuggle into her lap and stay there. But I found the irony the best part. She wasn't exactly comforting me in the sense that I had absolutely huge issues to solve like her, but she was patient enough to wait for me. It wasn't necessary, she could have left me behind if she wanted to. But she was still there, sharp teeth glinting at me.

I was worried that she'd taken offence to what I said. But she was...loose and relaxed underneath me. I still wanted to kiss her, aye. But if she didn't want me to kiss her properly, you know, with all that, mouth mashing and tongue slashing business, until AFTER she was cured, that was fine. I was glad she wasn't entirely adverse to the idea. But powerful butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought. Whether or not she loved me back or was just being a really good friend wrenched me from within. Both just made my cheeks warm.

"Morning." She spoke, voice lively, and awfully cheery with the hint of a laugh in there somewhere.

"Morning lass." I replied solemnly. Any start to the day with seeing her face was bound to be good.

"Are you ready to go to Morthal? Or do you want to rest a bit more? I have time. But you know, you kind of don't. Look at me, I'm already abusing my immortality. How selfish of me."

I chuckled.

"No it's okay. I had a good night sleep. Especially with you here to warm me." I admitted, being a tiny bit forward.

I didn't know whether the mead was entirely out of my system or Nelacar's advice latching on to me. But Petra went red at the words. Just beautiful. But I was still rattled for more words.

"Umm...yeah. Of course I was...I especially liked the part with you mumbling in your sleep." She mentioned.

My heart sank again and I caught my breath. Dear Gods. I sat up from where I was, trying to make it less awkward than it already was and shuffled myself off the bed.

"Okay, the less said about that the better, I don't want your elbow near my gut again. That hurt for days...Shor the agony!" I complained.

She laughed.

"No it wasn't all bad. You were singing softly." She said with giggle.

Singing? I looked away, embarrassed. I knew there was a reason I didn't get drunk that often.

"I...oh...uhh..."

I stumbled for words but was at a total loss. Aye, this only happened after having one too many. Delvin told me so. Supported by Vex.

But all Petra was just...that endearing smile. She wasn't in pain anymore. Not that I knew of anyway. No one else has made me feel this way before.

"Now that's over with. Yes, let's get to Morthal as soon as we can."

I leant her my hand as I helped her off the bed. She had a twinkle in her eye. Mischievous even.

* * *

We'd left Winterhold with a new outlook with each other. Petra was surprisingly more happier, although maybe because she now had leverage against me and could use it. Great. My reputation couldn't stoop any lower. We'd got on our horses and made the long trek around the mountains, towards the west.  
I know this sounds uncharacteristic of me. Let me tell you love makes you do crazy things. Nelacars story opened my eyes to all the noise that it was ringing in my ears with. But if my theory is correct, that once, I've...informed Petra, things would either sink or swim across in terms of, well, getting something off my chest and perhaps alleviating any tension. Uh...by that I mean I would probably go back to normal. Good, reliable Brynjolf. Master Thief and Entrepreneur. I laughed at the latter.

"That song..." She spoke, breaking the silence as we walked about the snow-beaten tracks, looking over the sea of Ghosts and in our Nightingale to beat the cold, hoods up and happy campers.

"You got that from a bard?"

I almost froze. Lucky kept dragging me along, thankfully enough.

"I've heard lot's of songs from those rich smug coin-wasters. Remind me...which one was I singing?" I told her. I mean, yeah they did have an easy life.

We walked alongside one another, as she looked away. I swore I heard a small laugh from her direction.

"You were singing a song about me..." She answered with a bit of a nervous tone in her voice.

I furrowed my brow.

"I was?" I questioned. Don't know any songs about her.

She laughed.

"Yeah...about a Dragonborn?" She reminded me.

By Shor. Oh no.. _.fantastic_...

"I heard it alright. People are praising you already with song lass. You're having an impact on these people and you don't know it."

She blushed and looked forward with a weak smile.

"It's nice...I'll admit. But can you do me a favour?"

Anything.

"Can you sing it again? For me? Uhh..it'll help the trip go faster."

I smiled back to her. How could I say no? It'll give her support and know that she's important after all. That people know what will happen and what is going to happen, eventually.

"Of course lass. Anything for you."

I wasn't the greatest of singers mind you. Bards aren't exactly favourable in my books. Often sleazy and outright boisterous and loud. But you had to admit that their songs were catchy and got into your head somehow. I think I heard it in a job in Solitude once... Yeah. I'd gone there while Petra was in hiding. Mostly to get in touch with our contacts there and such and such. So mostly work for the Guild. I stopped at the Winking Skeever to have a drink, in it's somewhat greenish tinted, warm lit and the smell of oil and imperial soldiers filled out the room... and one of the bards happened to open their mouth.

" _Our hero, our hero, claims a warriors heart..._ "

The bard sung well...fortunately, I don't sing myself. I'm horrible at it.

" _I tell you, I tell you the Dragonborns come..._ "

It helped remind me of the how crucial she was. For the future of this world to survive.

" _Of a Voice-wielding Power! Of the Ancient Nord art..._ "

We're still thieves of course. We don't really care unless it starts affecting business.

"Believe, believe the Dragonborn comes..."

Petra was my responsibility. My heart couldn't bare it if she died out there.

" _It's end to the evil, of all Skyrim's foes._ "

But we're both survivors ourselves and we work well as a team.

" _Beware, beware the Dragonborn comes..._ "

I have to ensure that she lives though. She's a vampire now, but she's also a Nord.

" _For the darkness has passed, and the legend yet grows._ "

While she may claim that Gods will have no use for her when she's done what she's needed to do. I thought otherwise.

" _You'll know, you'll know the Dragonborns come..._ "

I smiled and felt a bit warm as Petra looked at me with her gorgeous face and made soft claps. Then I rubbed the back of my neck, being put to the nerves. I don't even like singing. But if it made her happy, then I was doing something right. Maybe it was out there with the more, notable areas of flirting. Even then, I would still fear her not receiving any signal. But I was going to go in with conviction and and strength in my heart. Or not...

"Ahh a little louder than when you sang it while you were sleeping, but less drunkeness and no snoring."

I glared at her, not harshly of course.

"Hey! I do not snore!" I protested.

She laughed. My knees were wobbly.

"What ever you say Bryn...what ever you say."

I shook my head. I looked at the opportunities here. Both of us were alone out here. You'd think now would be the best time to tell her. But I still couldn''t open my mouth outright and say it.

Even when I wanted started the conversation in a serious note, I felt ill in doing so. She made me all hot and flustered just imagining myself saying it. I mean, when I thought about it properly, if I told her now, she would most likely reject me and say don't bother, I'm a vampire, then I wouldn't trouble her about it. I can't force her. It's not in my nature to say. But if I said it after she'd been cured, she'd think I'd only love her if she was human. Which was a load of tripe.

It's hard to find the right moment to say it. A thousand different scenarios with a thousand outcomes each floated in my mind. It's not worth the fuss I say. I tried to think. I will find an answer somehow, to push myself to do it and just say the words.

Thank the Stars I might still be able to get a kiss though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A random backstory for a random NPC.


	38. Morthal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The quest for a cure continues, as they head to Morthal. Of course, obstacles delay them.

 

I owe Brynjolf too much now. It saddens me that he still persists in this. Part of me just wants to kiss him. I love that red-headed bastard and now it seems I love him a lot.

I don't know though, so many things are complicated. The other part just wants him to find happiness elsewhere. I still can't shake off that perception. But I couldn't do anything until I was mortal again. There, I'd be able to be on equal footing with him again and don't feel like a threat to anyone any more. And maybe I'd come to some kind of conclusion on my feelings for him? What do you think friend?

Besides that, we made it to Marsh central in one piece and banished our Nightingale armour, leaving us to our usual black guild armour instead. I still needed the hood though. That sun was a pain. I felt like I enjoyed our trip there however. But Brynjolf had been trailing behind me slightly and being awfully quiet on the way. I let it go since I thought he was still tired. I think I may have caught him falling back asleep occasionally. Resting him in my lap was fun. This might sound creepy but I was content watching him snooze like that. His face was rough to touch but to me it made my heart jump, but I don't think it jumped as much as it would if I was mortal. Which is why I needed to be human again. To feel human. Ultimately, being a Vampire had it's advantages, but during the day it was irritating. The sun burned my skin and made me feel weaker in general. I had no desire to feed just yet.

As a Vampire, sensations can be drastically different. I had a minor hunger for power before that could be easily ignored but now you hold a hunger for blood. It's an interesting sustenance, often the basis for powering blood magic. It held a life force and to devour it fresh from someone must make us feel alive. Almost...orgasmic.

Emotions tend to get crossed a lot. I guess that's just what it was when you were immortal. I wasn't exactly a moral person but I never crossed any lines. It's a grey moral line we work across everyday and we have those standards to keep for ourselves. Vampires...just have that horrible reputation that we're all out to get the cattle we call mortals...out for their blood as food.

I don't blame them. The temptations can be hard to just, simply put aside. But my strength allowed me to just...yeah I said this before didn't I?

I just wanted to get clearer on it though. When Brynjolf was sleeping, I touched his face with my finger. I could feel his pulse, but also the blood flow throughout him. Hot and sweet from his session with the mead. I couldn't help but touch him. Yeah it's wrong but I wasn't hurting him or anything. Yes because it's right to try and justify touching people without their permission.

See this is the sort of thing I'm trying to avoid right now. Bryn and I knew each other well enough and we trusted each other with our lives. I'd never break Bryn's trust like that...never!

He'd tried to kiss me while he was awake. He was out of his mind at that point and most likely had no idea what he was telling me. I liked Bryn and was willing to let him have one, harmless little kiss. I wish he kind of did actually, I wanted him to before he passed out. Then I decided, it was probably for the best that he didn't.

My time has taught me much. And I still had a lot more to learn. My heart is always open to Brynjolf, but at least I'm less assholish to people. I don't like crowds but they're more bearable nowadays. And I have Brynjolf to thank for letting me develop like I did.

Dragons were still on my agenda and now I was on my way to solving the problem. Time eased most things but others required a more delicate touch, or else it'd still be suicide to go out there with only half the problem solved.

I may not even get over the fear. I wanted to be able to put it aside and utilize what strengths I had so I can find alternate means to either possibly getting over it or be able to just..do something I dunno.

We wandered around the cold marsh, filled with fungi, with the odd deathbell and also had this low, ominous fog that seeped through the town. It even gave me the creeps, walking over the board-walks that linked the buildings around us. There was an argument around the Jarl's hall. Could always tell...often the biggest building.

Bryn and I approached the crowd and listened in to their concerns of safety of themselves and others. I wondered...was Morthal in danger?

We had to find Falion, where ever he was. We bumped into this sultry lady. I looked into her eyes and furrowed my brows as she walked passed and stopped beside me. Scantly clad in a dress with brown hair, there was a familiarity that I saw in her.

_I know you for what you are. This town's blood is ours. Leave it! Now we must return to our roles lest the sheep suspect the wolves._

She then continued to walk by without saying a word. Brynjolf crossed his arms, confused.

"What was all that about lass?" He asked me.

I blinked.

"Don't know...but I suspect she's..like me? I don't know. She just whispered...nonsense to me." I answered, trying to decrypt her meaning.

Brynjolf made strange looks.

"Odd...didn't hear a thing." He commented as he rubbed his neck.

That had to be intentional. But this town had a Vampire crawling around it (not including me of course) and they didn't know it? If she could get away with it, why couldn't I? She must be highly skilled and powerful.

I had to turn to the man.

"This town...it doesn't feel right. We have to be cautious." I warned him.

Brynjolf nodded.

"Aye lass. I hear you. Let's just get to this Falion lad and get out." He agreed.

We first went to Moorside Inn. We talked with the Redguard innkeeper and queried about it. She was, hostile to say the least.

"Oh great another one wanting to haul on it on my brother..." She groaned, seething venom.

I rolled my eyes.

"We're...we're not going to haul it on him. I just need his help." I pleaded with nothing but honesty.

She made a forced chuckle.

"Yeah...and tell me the story about the rumours of vampires in town. Get out of my inn!"

* * *

"That went well." Bryn commented sarcastically.

I then gave him sceptical looks. But seriously, we were stuck. Morthal wasn't that large so surely it wouldn't be hard to find him. My main concern however, however, was this vampire woman (not me, the sultry lady) loitering around town.

We sat on the edge of the board-walk and tried to think of what we should do next.

"Let's just wander a bit. He couldn't have gone too far." Brynjolf suggested.

I retied my ponytail.

"Yeah I guess..."

Brynjolf shuffled himself closer to me, but he didn't wrap his arm around me, instead he placed his hand on my knee for some reason. I felt warm again underneath his touch. The stuff that just surpasses being a vampire was quite interesting.

"You're not letting that woman go are you?" He asked me, his concerned eyes drilling into me.

I didn't know what to think. A vampire roaming the town that apparently has some guy who's able to cure it and is no where to be found? Suspicious. Just...suspicious.

"We haven't looked hard enough. Come on, we may be able to talk to the Jarl..." I suggested.

I looked at him. The Jarl had to be reasonable about this.

* * *

 

Went and walked into the Jarls hall, known as Highmoon Hall, then looked down at the elder woman sitting behind the large fire place in the middle.

We approached her, as she lay slouched in her rich clothing, old and wrinkled with black hair. A nord no doubt as she looked at his with weighed judgement. And brief analysis. Jarl Ingrod Ravencrone, from what I can recall.

"You two strangers...you come forth to me with worry and clouded faces. State your business." She said as she eyed us cautiously, like she saw through both of us.

I nodded.

"My Jarl, we're looking for a Redguard who might be here called Falion. Have you seen him?" I asked. I felt like I was stepping on toes here.

She rubbed two of her fingers together.

"And you're here to state your doubts on the wizard like all the others hm?" She berated.

Brynjolf shook his head.

"No. We currently need his help." The man said sternly.

Ingrod snuffed. I really hoped she wasn't one of those stereotypical old grumpy women...and not like the Innkeeper either.

"How noble. Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to let you know where he is then." She told us.

I smiled. Finally.

"He's been kidnapped."

* * *

Fate liked to play it's hand on how much it hated me. All these delays...I'll put up with it for now.

Ingrod explained how he was helping the town out as usual. He gets scorned because, hey, Nords don't generally trust magic users and there's often dozens of reasons why. I don't mind magic users myself. I can shout! That's already a power right there. Plus the whole slew of magical prowess brought on by vampirism of course.

But Ingrod was an odd sort. No not the grumpy old woman, although she did appear to be senile. She advised that the recent fire may have been involved with it all. And allowed us to investigate the burnt down property nearby to 'sift the ashes others have been fearful to touch'. Good. We had a start at least.

We left the Hall with the details needed to investigate. The house had a family of three. The father and husband Hroggar was the only survivor of the fire that killed his daughter, Helgi, and his wife and Helgi's mother. The theories have varied, but one that stood out was that Hroggar shacked up with Alva straight after. Ingrod stated that Hroggar blame his wife who spilled bear fat in the fire. But like all matters, this wasn't as simple as that.

Brnjolf and I searched around the remains of the burnt down building. I found something in the corner and bent down, when a white figure popped out in front of me, forcing me to fall backwards.

I looked at it closely. It was a ghost. Brynjolf wandered over, and helped me back on my feet.

" _Shor's bones._ " I heard him mutter.

A ghost of a little girl.

"Hi there...daddy taught me not to talk to strangers...are you a stranger?" She echoed.

I shook my head. She was oddly calm for a spirit.

"Uh...no...we're friends of your fathers. What happened here?"

The girl looked down. She described how her house burnt down and that someone had tried to save her, but she'd once felt hot, then turned cold. I could have cried at the way she worded it. Just...terrible. Who would do such a thing?

"Hey, do you want to play hide and seek? We'll have to play at night, cause the other one is playing too."

I furrowed my brow, then forced a smile.

"Uhh yeah. Who's the other who'll be playing with us?"

The girl stood back.

"I...I can't tell you...she's so close!"

The girl, Helgi as mentioned, disappeared without a trace. Damnit. The girl had died and she just had to be cryptic. Definitely was not going to be easy. Now we had to wait a few hours until sun down.

I felt frustrated, then my tongue started to water. Oh great. I'm hungry.

I walked across the board walks, and wandered over to the benches outside the inn and rubbed my temples. As always Brynjolf came and sat next to me.

"Everything alright?" He asks me. Of course he's going to be concerned...I'm not gonna hide the truth from him.

"All this...I just wanted to be cured and now we have to jump through hoops in order to do so. I wish there was another way."

He patted my back.

"Don't stress it lass. If we have to wait until it's dark then fine. It'll probably work better for you anyway."

The air had that cold, muck stench to it. It's like mud's been shoved up your nose. I don't know how these people put up with it.

"..And I'm also...sort of... _thirsty..._ " I croaked.

Brynjolf nodded. Not getting the picture here going by how unaffected he was.

"Want me to get you a drink?" He asked me, not thinking straight.

I looked at him with a 'come on' look.

"Not that kind of drink Bryn..." I told him, hoping he'd get the message.

He then began to sit back slowly and made a o shape with his lips.

Idiot. He tends to forget what I am, I believe.

"How bad is it?" He whispered, suddenly taking it more seriously.

I don't know. I think this was because all the nonsense was just getting to me and my stomach. The craving for blood was strong but I'll manage for now.

"I'll be fine. Just annoyed as all. I'll just meditate on it or something." I assured him.

He then leaned closer, making my heart beat faster.

"You...want some of mine?"

I slapped his face for even saying that. He rubbed his cheek and sat back again, defeated. Fool, don't make me.

"Sorry, just a suggestion..." He spoke solemnly.

I only rolled my eyes.

"I will not do that to you. Ever. Even if I'm desperate." I told him outright.

He appeared depressed, his face low. Bless him Talos, he wants to do everything but I feel so guilty by letting him do so without anything to give back. I just wanted to thank him and give him what he deserved after all this time. I tried to think of something. I mean, waiting until dark isn't going to do Falion much good in the end, I hope they're not going to kill him or something. But this is our best lead so far. Not much we could do in this stage, I'm afraid.

But in the meanwhile. I could cheer Bryn up a bit. You know, have some fun. I pondered, thinking of a brilliant idea.

I picked him up by giving my hand, and dragged him across town, much to his confusion and lead him towards the end of the boardwalk with, looking across the cold waters. I instructed him to sit down. I sat down behind him and smiled.

"Just...relax..."

He tried to, of course. But I whacked him every time he tensed up.

"What did I just say?" I scolded.

"Sorry lass, I'm just to think what you're...ohh..."

I slithered my hands up his back, cutting him off. It was difficult because of his armour, but I managed. I began to slowly and carefully pinch his shoulders underneath the pads on top of them, and rub my hands against them. So tense and hard. I could feel his muscles underneath.

"Mm..that's actually...not bad." He worded, stuck in a haze with my wonderful handywork.

His head liked to roll around, before finding itself lowered as I continued to massage him. I wanted to soften him up, but also I wanted to make sure he was comfortable. He's done so much for me, I only want to repay his kindness. This was all I could do for now, unless something else came up.

" _Mmm..._ " He mumbled. I bit my lip, feeling a bit warm myself.

"A bit  _lower_."

I smirked and complied, filtering my hands down and caressed and prodded my hands around his shoulder blades. I was really tempted to take all that armour off. You know, to see the show. Okay that sounded terrible. Apologies. Seriously, however, I think I was at that point where I just wanted to touch him and to feel his skin between my fingers and in my hands would be a dream, I could kiss it, feel every wound and scar. You don't become a thief without your own body telling tales. I know he praises me, calls me a perfect thief. There have been a few slip ups but nothing too major. But that's often what it took for me learn quickly in order for me to survive and to make coin on the side. I'm not gifted...I just happen to know what I'm doing. It's not clever craft!

That neck of his was looking vulnerable though. I said I wouldn't do it to him like that but sometimes the thirst is unimaginably strong. I can will it away as much as I would like, but occasionally the needs can outweigh the wants. I closed my eyes tight and rubbed him faster, trying to shut out the voices telling me to feed.

The other part of me wanted to grab him and slam him down to the ground and straddle him. Alas, must think with my head and not with my loins. This was a public area, though there wasn't much going on around us thankfully.

My main intention was just to make him feel better. We both would forever worry about one another, but for now I'd like to forget our troubles and just relax together. We had plenty of time...

" _RYAAAAAHH..._ "

Plenty...of...time...

As always, I froze. The noise was distant, or else Brynjolf would have noticed. Vampiric Super hearing?

He only acknowledged that I stopped.

"Hey, why'd you stop? Petra?" He asked jokingly.

" _RYAAAHHHH..._ "

His eyes widened.

"Ah...I see."

He turned to me, who was making this ridiculous expression of fear. Fantastic...just fantastic timing. Out of all the bloody things...

He appeared stern with me, staring right into my eyes to try and get me to focus,

"Petra, listen to me...I'll take you to the inn. Don't pay any mind..."

I gritted my teeth, showing off my fangs. Bryn instantly raised his hands in defense.

"Hey! Don't get angry with me! I'm..."

He looked down at my hands, shaking and shivering. I was a whirlwind of rage and anxiety but neither were backing down. Tears were already running! Seriously Brynjolf, I need to do this!

I started to force myself to talk underneath the innumerable amount of pressure.

"No...I am...not...not angry with you...I'm angry with...me...gotta...gotta get up." I stuttered.

I almost fell over a few times, but Bryn was there to catch me. My eyes dragged up slowly, as a shadow flew past rather quickly, and the ground beneath us shook under the sheer force of the beast.

"Lass, don't over do yourself please..." He whispered to me. I sneered as I got on my own two feet and scrunched my fists. I leered at him.

"Am I...going to know...? You and I...we...we both know that I have to do this...even if it kills me!"

And that was the first time I'd legitimately saw that Brynjolf was pissed off at me, he grabbed me and pressed me up against a nearby wooden poll. A shock went down my spine as the dragon roared around us.

"I'm sick and tired of your attitude. You...are...not...going...to die!" He grumbled. I hardly ever saw this side of him before. And it was terrifying.

I choked.

"Bryn, I'm sorry...just a figure of speech! No need to take it so literally..." I pointed out, despite my throat being tighter than its ever been.

He growled at me, then let me loose. I rubbed my neck from the original strain. He heaved a huge sigh. I didn't mean...

"Forgive me, Petra...I..." He said, his tone instantly changing.

I slid down the pole, as my own courage failed to pick me up instead...I looked at him with teary eyes. I don't want him to do this any more. He didn't...

"I want...I want to kill it. I need...I need your help..." I said, to my own surprise.

He nodded and picked me back off the ground. He held my hand tighter than anything and refused to let me go. That way neither of us would slip off without the other.

The pair of us staggered as the dragon landed on the ground nearby. It was another red-scaled monstrosity. I hungered for it's soul.

Brynjolf pulled out his blade, while I pulled out the Nightingale blade. We summoned our corresponding armours with the intent of our abilities to take the beast down. I focused only on Bryn for the while and tried not to fall over per the extent of my own legs that were wobbly and currently not agreeing with me.

Only for Brynjolf to take us behind a building as it shouted fire at us. I reached for my bow...then looked at Bryn.

"Bryn, let...let me fire arrows at it. I dunno what that'll do..." I muttered to him, out of breath.

He grumbled.

"What we need, is that rage of yours. You are definitely able, I'm sure of it. You need to somehow tap into your own self, your dragon self, with the fire in your heart." He explained.

That kind of experience terrified me but it gave me some sort of relief as I charged at it from previous events such as this, and stabbed them to death. He was right though, I can do it. Only if I could find myself, my dovahkiin spirit from within and unleash it upon my timeless foe...

Memories please serve me well.

I couldn't stop the shaking, but I could move at least. Brynjolf just left and ran towards it, swinging his sword with his fury and nordic shouts...you know, the type of one you tend let out on in, not dragon shouts obviously.

FOOL!

I had no choice but to take a deep breath and swing around from behind. I got an arrow in one swift motion and pulled into my bow and made smooth aim as much as I could possibly could. Cease shaking Petra, just this once.

The dragon took notice of Brynjolf and shouted at him. Luckily he dodged in time and went behind the dragon itself. In it's distraction I let go, the arrow flinging straight into it's skull.

Something bled out from inside of me, what ever it was...anxiety? Maybe? I wasn't sure. But while one arrow made it's target, I needed many more.

I took another deep breath and willed away my quickened heartbeat (with failure of course, but it didn't hurt to try) and fired yet again. He caught hold of our act, but screeched as Brynjolf was hacking at it's tail. It swung it's tail at him, only for Brynjolf to block it, just barely and Bryn ended up being pushed back. Part of it got his arm, causing the red-headed nord to hiss at it's sting.

Oh boy, I was pissed now.

I instantly pulled out another arrow after arrow in swift, smooth and flowed motions.

"Fall to me Dragon!" I heard guards shout.

The Dragon flew back up into the air, shouting fire everywhere. I'd lost sound for a split moment, as Brynjolf was on the ground. I picked up the pace and ran towards him in quick haste. I knelt before him and examined his injuries.

"It's okay lass, ugh...only got my arm. Go get it...bring the bastard back down!" He roared at me.

I gave a weak smile and nodded.

"I'll...try and give the thing a quick death!" I called out, stuttering. Damn this phobia of mine.

I shielded Brynjolf my whole body as the dragon flew around. It then flapped down and set a guard alight, sending the guard running and screaming in agony. I bit my lip. Keep it together Petra, for Brynjolf's sake.

I constantly shivered and shook no matter how I tried not to. The dragon made work of the nearby guards and came back to me as if to say, I'm going to do this to you. Not on my watch.

I rolled to my side, trying to lure it away from Brynjolf as much as I can. I got out a few more arrows and fired them at it, screaming and grunting with each shot. Focus Petra, that's it...keep going.

I landed eventually, staring me down with it's fiery eyes, intent on devouring me. No, I shall conquer it and devour it's soul. But my body stuck in one place, unable to move as it inhaled.

"Petra! Move!" Brynjolf shouted from afar.

I quivered and decided to inhale myself, shouting " _Yol!_ " into it's face, burning it's scaly hide briefly and distracting it as it flailed.

The burning sensation started within my core. Like that time in the woods and that time in the Rift. The same reactive feeling like none other. It seeped it's self into my veins and into my very bones and deep into my spirit. I put my bow aside and took out the Nightingale blade.

Time liked to slow down around me as everything became a blur except the dragon itself.

In inhaled and cried as I ran towards it. I wasn't me...and it wasn't the vampire in me...but...

The dragon within, that compels me to dominate and destroy, that overcomes the fear and the phobic reactions from within. It makes me move, it takes control of my body and does all the work. I feel like I'm only there for the ride. My eyes are steely and my heart caught up in the cold and hot battle of my loss of control. I was weakened, mostly because I was a vampire walking in the daylights but this strength made me forget that for just this moment.

I jumped onto the things neck, and slashed it's head, I continued to scream and cry out.

" **DIE YOU MONSTER!** " I roared.

The beast flailed about, like caught prey trying to free itself. You are prey Dragon. You are prey to me..

It's blood splattered everywhere that it got underneath my hood. I licked it off of my cheeks...tasted  _so good_. I removed the cowl and bit into the creatures neck with my intense hunger and razor sharp teeth, grabbing hold of it tight with my arms. Didn't know, didn't think it would be so good.

I cried into the air with blood on my face. The beast stopped moving. I jumped off the creature itself and watched it burn to its bare bones. I hissed at it, then realized the guards were staring at me, stunned. I had the hood still on so my face was still caste in shadow. I put the cowl back on and...

I fell back into the normal phase once again. My behaviour...my hunger got the better of me...but I had used it for a purpose. I wouldn't...I shouldn't...

I'd run off after I had absorbed the soul and fled into the woods, the shame and guilt pouring back into me, now my dragon-self had reawakened and gone back to sleep.

* * *

This always happened. Always. A part of me just wakes up and takes control. I become a monster to defeat a monster. I'd possibly become more scared of myself than of the dragons. What was I becoming? I wasn't human any more...and I wanted to stay human. I felt sick and removed the cowl temporarily I ended up vomiting as I stumbled my out of the outskirts of the township, away from the people I wanted to protect. I knew this would happen...I knew and I let it happen anyway.

I hid behind a tree and sat against it, holding myself in and tried to get myself back together from all the pieces left lying around. I tried to recompose and calm myself down. I continued to whimper and sob into my knees. Petra...why?

Brynjolf found me hiding. Of course he did. I looked at his arm. He removed his hood as he sat down next me and laid his legs out. He then folded mine back as well. I didn't resist as I looked at him with my face riddled with dragon blood that I subconsciously licked. His face...softened but eyes still concerned about me. He got the cloak of his armour and wiped the blood off...as well as several tears. After cleaning me, he wrapped his arm around me and brought me close. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and while I was tense, I collapsed with his touch.

I looked at his injured arm and grabbed hold of it. He hissed as I took his glove off, to see the wound the dragon gave him. I silently offered to get rid of it. He didn't hesitate as I licked the blood off his arm, despite what I said earlier...it was appetizing to me.

" _Mm..._ " I moaned slightly.

I couldn't help but clean this myself, but I was careful not to bite him. I think tongue is safe as I lapped it up and tasted his flesh and skin. He winced and curled his toes as I did so, with his chest pushing forward and the back of his head almost digging into the trunk of the tree. I'll get him a potion later, just in case however. The books talked about such types of prevention.

"Oh... _lass..."_  He whispered in response with a slight quiver to his voice. A pang went to my stomach. Was I causing him pain...or pleasure...it certainly made him wriggle somewhat. I made sure swallowed it all up (seriously sounds so wrong, my face was heated up just thinking about it. GET OUT OF MY HEAD URGH), then I put the glove back his arm tight. He shouldn't be bleeding anymore, but I want to get him a potion just in case. I ensured that I suckled it gently as my tongue stroked around his wound. Do Vampires have a type of antiseptic? Wait, that might be the werewolves. Dunno. Have no idea. The books never told me that. Oh wait, yes they did. Vampires were infectious but careful. I was being ultra careful to make sure Brynjolf didn't catch it. I...uhhh. I hoped.

He looked at me with a rather flirtatious smile that did me in...he enjoyed that?

"Looks like you took me up on my offer anyway..." He muttered with a smug expression. Oh Gods he  _liked_  it! I thought he was teasing me.

I rolled my eyes at him. Great. I allowed myself to break what I said.

"That was a cut from a dragon, not me." I told him. I'll justify myself with loopholes. I was just looking after him as well. He cleaned me, I cleaned him.

Bryn snorted.

"Of course...of course. May I ask, who had tastier blood?" He had the gall to ask me that!

I elbowed him in the stomach, a oof escaping his lips. So immature...

"Can't believe you're actually asking me that! You pig!" I scolded him.

He was laughing and choking at the same time.

"I'm joking lass, I'm joking. Can't imagine you being some kind of blood critic." He stated.

Thought was funny enough. Yeah this one needs a bit more iron and less...what ever else was in blood. I don't study bodies myself I have no idea (the necromancy was a temp occasion that I'd prefer not to deal with again thank you very much) . You'd have to be a bit more descriptive other than saying it was sweet. But Brynjolf's still had the taste of mead in them, as I expected. The dragons blood thought, tasted odd, like too much iron mixed in with what ever else. Actually more bitter to be honest.

"No. Gods no..." I replied weakly.

Brynjolf gave me a bit of a squeeze to let things know they were alright now. And I did feel a bit better. Recovered quicker than I expected.

"I'm sorry for uhh...yelling at you earlier." He said with sadness.

"I just didn't..."

He looked away for a brief moment, living in the dredges of the past. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. I gave him a warm smile.

"It's fine, honestly. If I'd known you would have reacted like that, I wouldn't have said anything at all. I...I."

There was the bleakness in his eyes that shimmered within. His beautiful, bright green eyes...

My own darted between them and his cracked lips. I imagined they would be better than blood any day. He filled in with what parts of my mortal life that I lost to this curse. I owed him a lot and starting today, I was going to start paying him back. But I was going to make good that I didn't kiss him just yet, no matter how badly I really wanted to. I respected him a lot as friend...although I wanted more. I smiled and smacked my hand on his leg.

"So! We still have a few more hours to kill...you still need that massage."

Brynjolf chuckled.

"Sure!"

Thank the Gods...I love him too much.


	39. Night in the Marsh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf and Petra continue their search to rescue Falion and to solve the local vampire problem.

 

I couldn't believe I lashed out at her. I just didn't want her throwing her life away like that. She means too much to me as is and I get terrified every time she goes off in a tangent. But I must tell myself, convince myself that she's getting better at it and that to take every day as it comes. In my heart, seeing her fight it off like that despite the fear, was much more lively and capable then the first time I'd seen her fight a dragon.

She recovered, I recovered like nothing had just happened there. I have to say I'm quite proud of the lass. She calls herself a beast and when I watched her give into her thirst, my heart skipped a beat. I wasn't concerned for myself but for her and the way she'd taken that dragon down was...admittedly, inhuman. But she wanted this gone. And if she wants it gone then I'll be glad to get rid of it.

There was much more than I was used to. The Guild did its work without the overly flashy dramatic powers involved. We did it and that was that. Day by day job. I'd never thought that meeting Petra would make my life more exciting now. I actually have to thank her for that. Despite our issues, I've never had much more fun with it. Exploring, finding secrets...like a storybook. In all manners of seriousness, Petra gave me the most touching ahem, uh nicest massage. I relaxed underneath her capable hands and could have fallen asleep if she'd let me. We then went back to the Inn, despite the Innkeepers protests. We convinced her yet again we weren't looking for her brother and were just looking to kill time. Sorry, bad words.

"There was a dragon in town, in case you weren't aware. There are worse things than us that may end up killing your brother." Petra said coldly. But she was right.

Free mead is an apology I'll accept.

We sat there and Petra made sure I didn't go overboard with the mead this time. But we were just awaiting the night to find this ghost girl. After what happened at Irkngthand with Mercer, I'm willing to believe anything at this point.

And so we waited until sundown, theorizing where the girl would be hiding. We'd say she hadn't gone far from town. Just a ghost thing really. Petra reckons they tend float around where they died if they hadn't gone anywhere else, and she feels that she'd be around somewhere. I hate ghosts period. We agreed to check on the graveyard nearby where she was buried.

Come sundown, when most of the locals hushed inside the safety of their homes, we trekked into the night. Most people around here hear noises. Sounds either like a shared case of paranoia, or this town has a legitimate vampire problem. More locals had came into the inn, complaining how the Jarl wasn't doing anything about it. We were silent before we decided to leave and listen in to the conversations they were having. The big topic was when Petra took down that dragon earlier. A few seemed convinced it was a set up, others wagered that there was some kind of huge illusion spell, or they were all drugged. Laughable, with each excuse.

Petra didn't care for the stories. But I had an inkling that when the mentioned the part where she sucked the blood out of the dragon itself, made them wonder what was really out there, more powerful creatures that can suck out the soul of dragons, alongside a slew of insults, petty and benign. She tried to not let that get to her. Good on her.

We left for the graveyard nearby. Our feet fell soft into the marsh, with the sound crickets and the torchbugs that were active at night. We couldn't see much, given the darkness, but Petra assured me she had the ability to see better at night.

We approached the small cemetery with caution, seeing a small coffin dug out of the ground. Now that's just being disrespectful. Petra crouched near it, checking it out properly.

" _You found me_!" A young voice echoed. Scared us both yet again.

" _But the other one is close, I can feel her. Make her go away._ "

I was puzzled to what the spirit child was saying, until Petra heard noises behind us.

She pulled out her blade as she saw another woman, clad in some kind of weird red dress like armour, holding a torch in her hand. Petra hissed at the woman, summoning her Nightingale wares as she attacked us both.

Petra knocked me aside as the two fought it out. It was made by apparent, by the look on her face, that the lass was also a vampire. Petra dodged and weaved around her and one swift motion, sliced her head clean off, to my surprise. Petra cleaned her blade with her cloak and changed back into her normal armour. It all went too quick for me to even describe it properly. I feel left out... We went back to the girl, who mentioned she thanked us for getting rid of the woman, Laelette. I looked at Petra. We were both disturbed by the implications of what went on. I drew my sword when I heard another set of footsteps nearby. Turns out it was a local from the town, watching the whole thing unfold. He went to the body and weeped over it, unravelled by the fact she was a vampire.

Part of that made my stomach churn something fierce. He loved the woman, but she was...off...

Petra began questioning the man, who mentioned that Laelette wandered off, probably to join the Stormcloaks. But now he knew the truth, but remained convinced that she herself died elsewhere. One of my main fears about Petra and it was easy to see. I worried about her so much that she'll turn out like this. I know she is stronger than that, but you can't help but think that way. The man mentioned that she once hung around Alva before she disappeared. That's where we needed to head off next. But the man's odd behaviour struck me first on the suggestion that Alva was the one who prompted her to burn the house down, claiming Alva wouldn't have done such a thing.

Petra's expression suggested she was thinking otherwise, knowing what kind of trickery was going on. We let the man go, but Petra's brow continued to furrow as she pinched the top of her nose.

"What are ya thinking there lass?" I questioned, hoping to speed things along.

"Laelette was a vampire but not the one I bumped to into town. This...Alva. Sounds like a local. Don't you think?"

Couldn't be a coincidence.

"I have no doubt in my mind. What's your take on it though?" I questioned.

She started to pace around.

"Well Vampire's have incredible abilities to influence people. Make people their thralls. It's a possibility that she's brainwashed them into thinking she's innocent...or what ever."

I think I remember reading about it. The Guild makes you blind to the more dangerous works out there. Vampire's were just something you read in stories.

"I've raised undead thralls but we're talking about ones that are still alive. Even so, Alva is clever enough to cover her tracks, ward suspicions off herself by getting someone else to do it."

Sounded like the Guild half the time.

"Aye, so she casts these spells on the people so they don't suspect her. Clever." I acknowledged.

Petra nodded.

"Not clever enough. We should take this information to the Jarl at once."

We wandered into town on the precedence that Laelette was taken care of and was the arsonists in question on the possibility that Alva was the main schemer. However, once we informed the Jarl, she didn't expect that Alva would be the culprit. Even with all the rumours, she needed evidence on that. Another part of Alva's tricks it seemed.

We walked outside, partially defeated but not giving up hope.

"Looks like we'll have take matters into our own hands." Petra commented.

I rose an eyebrow.

"What, like killing that woman wasn't?" I joked.

Petra groaned.

"I mean, we'll have to treat this like a job remember? Sneaking around, taking things..."

I smirked. And she smirked back as I realised what she meant. The larceny in my blood reawakened at the thought.

"Of course lass. Well, this your operation. I will let you decide what we need to do then."

Petra is very capable. No doubt. She's strong, smart. Just needs a bit of push to wield the courage to utilise them both. And the confidence.

I took her lead as she ushered out her plan. She'd heard some locals talking about Hroggar and how he was living in Alva's house. We then figured out where she lived, as she wandered out of a nearby house and went towards the inn. Her plan was to go inside the house, find what evidence she could use and get out. She ordered me to stay outside while she snuck in there. Alva happened to walk by. I had to keep an eye on her, to ensure she doesn't get in Petra's way. I watched Petra sneak around, cast some kind of invisibility spell as she adorned her Nightingale armour and went in. Meanwhile I followed her around until she was inside the Tavern. I kept looking back and forth between the building and the Inn. I saw Alva wandering out soon after, no doubt heading back home. I got out of the shadows and made the attempt to distract her. She saw me on the board-walks and went straight for me. Everything about her made me uncomfortable.

"Oh hello there handsome..." She spoke, her voice riddled with lustful connotations.

I nodded.

"Hello. Nice night?" I said, as I adjusted my amulet in a subtle way.

Her smile sickened me. I'd been around Petra long enough now to see the signs of a formed vampire.

"Yes it is." She replied, giving me bedroom eyes and examing me from top to bottom.

"It certainly is cold lass. What are you doing out wearing that?" I asked, silly question but still...

She pressed her hands on her chest, I looked away. I wasn't interested in a whore.

"Oh I have thick skin. Cold never bothers me too much. You look too warm in that outfit." She said, a bit too baring to be comfortable with.

Her flirting was subpar. Didn't effect me. Hey, I'm already smitten. There is nothing you can do.

I wasn't afraid to flirt back though. It was all in the act. Though I do wish Petra would hurry up. I had to make do.

"Aye, it looks it. But it's fine. Keeps me warm enough." I continued.

She nodded, then bit her lip.

"I believe I saw you in town earlier, with that other woman. You two didn't have rings on so you're definitely not married." She commented, making me uneasier by the moment.

I had to make up some tripe still. Petra, where were you? I crossed my arms, getting impatient.

"Oh we're betrothed. We're mostly out adventuring. Her father wants me to prove I can take care of her, by travelling all the holds." I lied.

Don't know anyone's father would do that though.

"Oh, congratulations then. I'm sure you'll both hold, long healthy lives together." She said, a bit disappointed.

Though that had to be sarcasm right there. I could taste it.

"Thank you."

I heard a door open nearby. It had to be Petra for sure, back with some information I hope.

"Well, I better get going. I'm just gonna meet her in the inn." I told her.

She smiled at me again.

"I hope to see you around again some day."

* * *

I met up with Petra beside the inn. She'd gotten hold of Alva's journal. Thankfully. I was sick of listening to her. She made me squirm. And it's hard to get me squirming, believe me. The journal contained the details about a vampire coup on Morthal itself. We should have suspected that this was the case. So we'd gone to the Jarl with the evidence itself, and quickly changed her tune. In no time flat, she gathered some 'able bodied warriors' to help up clean a den nearby, written in the journal as lair ruled by a vampire master known as Movarth. Petra wondered if this was this was where Falion was taken. If so, then we were one step closer to getting Petra cured. He better still be alive, or there will be Oblivion to pay.

Petra and I went on ahead to this particular den ahead of everyone else. We wore our armour yet again, and I followed Petra's lead as we traversed the marsh in the dark. She used her special to lead us to a cave that we'd come across. We wandered inside. Like many other caves you'd find, this one was especially dark, rocky and had the stench of death lingering around. At least Petra either made the effort to suppress or cover the smell, I got used to it, or as a pure-blooded vampire, she doesn't make any odor of herself at all. I'm inclined to believe that the second one, but that would just be insulting.

There were several spiders hanging around in the first cavern, but Petra made quick work of them, several accurately placed arrows later, they laid colder on the ground where they belonged.

We encountered some more vampires the further we went. The stench got worse too. I'm thinking that we may need those prongs we mentioned some time ago. But I'll get over it.

We snuck around, taking down vampires left and right. Petra was amazingly calm about it. She would slay them like any other foe and not have any hesitation about it.

We eventually came across something akin to a main chamber or a dining room, with tables and chairs fashioned for a party of some sort. Several vampires were feasting on Gods know what, with what appeared to be a head vampire, Breton of origin, wearing similar styled clothes to what Laelette was wearing. This must have been Movarth.

I kept watch on Petra, ready to follow her lead and support what ever decision she made. She looked the room over thrice.

"I can't see a redguard anywhere...can you?" She whispered to me as we kept our sneaking position.

I shook my head.

"No. But I do see other walkways leading elsewhere. I think we should take this guy down and keep looking." I replied.

Petra agreed.

"Okay then. Let's go."

 

We wandered round, with Petra aiming her bow at the bretons' head.

"I know you're there you know. I could smell the blood of my kin as they died underneath your tyranny..." Said a voice from afar.

I looked at Petra. I was kind of glad someone agreed that they smelled.

Petra stood up. No use for hiding anymore, anyway.

The other vampires looked at us as we walked up to the big man.

"Yet I see that you're one of us. You hunger for the sweet tastes as we do, and yet you oppose us. Why?"

His tone was part disappointment and part annoyance. I stayed on guard, watching over them all.

Petra shifted and crossed her arms. It'd give her the chance, maybe her last chance to talk to anyone else like her with some ounce of civility.

"Where is Falion?" She asked, her voice calm and sounding more business like than anything. She had that down pat.

"The Wizard? Oh he wanted to be here. Though he chickened out at the last minute. His skills in magic are useful to us and lets just say he's not allowed to leave." Movarth replied, taking a sip of his tankard. Ugh...

But then I saw Petra give him a death-defying glare. It was similar to when she'd faced down the dragon earlier. Could she tap into this violent side a lot easier now? I only had to watch and observe what she would do. Ultimately, she'll do the right thing.

Being the, possibly, only mortal in the room didn't help. Eyes were darted on me, like I was just a piece of meat. Hah, I'd like to see them try. But Petra was going to see this through. She had to. For her own sake.

"Oh that's too bad. I intend to take him on. You see, you are all just...thin-blooded animals with no respect or honour. Just, rotten wannabees."

Movarth got up from his chair and glared at her.

"Your insults are as petty as a soul gem. I cannot allow you take him from us! Attack!"

It become a bloodbath quickly enough. I'd gotten my blade and used my Nightingale strength to overturn and destroy any of these weak pathetic excuses for creatures. But I remembered they were monsters of the night and worked better in the shadows that we need.

At least, that's when I saw Petra fighting it off with Movarth. I'd dealt with the last few vampires, and charged over to help her.

The breton was against the wall. I could only watched as Petra strut towards him, confidence straightening her spine out. She had her hood on, but I know she was giving him Oblivion for it.

"It's a shame. You have potential." Movarth complimented.

Petra hissed.

"Because I am not as mindless as you are, thin-blood. You know who I am..."

The lass pulled back her hood and let him see into her fierce eyes of garnet, her sharp teeth glinting as she smiled at him. And that was no innocent smile. That was seductive, dark and all out destructive. She was out to prove herself.

Movarth's sneered at her

"Yes, you're a Daughter of Coldharbour, favoured by Molag Bal himself."

Petra gave a subtle nod.

"That I am, that I am. I have no doubt you are the strong type, bringing Morthals residents to be your cattle. I won't allow that to happen. Brynjolf, get Falion!"

I nodded and ran off down one of the hallways, trusting Petra to deal with the dreaded monster the death he deserved.

* * *

It was hard to part with her, I'll tell you. I heard some strange noises as I left but had to tell myself constantly that she'd be fine on her own. This is what being in love does to you. Makes you more paranoid than Stormcloaks worrying about Imperial Spies. I over thought too often and needed to clear my head to seek what was right and what was easy. Though, Petra reminded me earlier that we may miss the work we did for the Guild, we can still use our skills to get by. And it does work of course.

I usually trained myself every so often, made sure my skills didn't too rusty. My father trained me with a sword as a boy and I still have that dwemer sword he gave me. He was one those nutjobs that was always fascinated with Dwemer ruins. I never paid mind to it. It was all too boring and never paid attention to any of his lessons. My mother was apathetic too. Not outright ignorant, she was too busy tending to our farm to do much.

She..died from mental illness. Drove my father mad himself. We both we devastated when she died and dad just...focused more on his work than he did on me.

I tended to the farm until I was older and wanted something more exciting. By then my father had a new woman in life. I hated her and I left as soon as I could. That brought me to the Thieves Guild.

Which is in part why I hate people like Alva, just...decided to fill a void that never needed to be filled by anyone else.

There was another room, a bedroom in fact. With someone else in the room. I kept myself cautious with my blade in hand. I was ready to kill until.

The woman turned around. Speaking of a void...

"Oh, on another adventure with your betrothed I see?" She spoke, seductively. By the Nine not this again.

I had the intent to kill her, if Petra decided she didn't want to kill her instead.

"You two could have left well enough alone! But, all I can do now is try to convince you at least. I could...turn you. Grant you with the gifts..."

With a tightened grip on my blade, what made her think that I was even going to comply with that?

"Very funny. At least I don't go plotting to burn down buildings with innocent children inside them!"

Alva gave me the worst glare.

"You think I wanted that? Laelette was such a fool. I'm glad you got rid of her. She'd messed up everything."

Since ones love for their own kind was still strong within. Ahem.

"But you...don't you know your beloved is a vampire? Are you so blind to see that? How long until she turns you!" She berated.

Oh that's where she was wrong. I knew. I knew the woman beneath the curse all along. What was within her spirit and what ever she became would never change. If it did, then I was either talking with someone who wasn't Petra or Gods forbid, she was dead. You poor, depraved woman Alva.

"Aye she is." I started, confidence rising.

"But she's in more control and more powerful than any of you. I can just kill you now and be ridden of one less hassle in the world."

It was interesting how her whole face just became more hideous as she tried to attack me. I had no real magical tricks up my sleeve though. I work with the shadows but it's difficult when you're already fighting someone better at using them. I kept up the good fight.

She tried casting several spells, making me feel weaker. She used some kind of magical attack that forced me against the wall nearby. I snarled at her as she screeched at me.

"Go on...get me bitch!" I taunted her.

She smirked, then slammed her teeth into my neck. I wanted to scream but she forced her other hand on my throat. I took the opportunity to grab my blade and stab it in her chest and jammed in there as hard as I could, causing her screeches to nearly deafen me!

I got the strength the kick her away, before stabbing her in the throat and leaving her to die. I wandered over, sore from the bit and placed my boot upon her chest. As blood poured all around her she gagged, finding her attempts amusing.

"There...I saved your life. Live the good life with your lover." She croaked before passing.

I cleaned my blade while thinking that I was having a bad day. I really needed to train myself more in order to properly defend myself. I've been in the shadows too long, I'm afraid.

I began to sweat and feel weary briefly, but I persisted. I found Falion in an nearby cage, frozen by some kind of magic. I picked the lock quickly, breaking the spell. The Redguard regained his breath and thanked me.

"Oh thank the Divines you found me. Gods know what they were going to do to me. Please, let's get out of here."

I nodded.

"Aye...we'll grab my associate on the way out..."

We wandered back into the main hall, to see a tall, thin grey creature with bizarre wing like contraptions on it's back. I squinted, only for them to turn around.

"Wait, is that...an actual Vampire Lord?" The Redguard spoke of with awe, not even remotely afraid or aware. I'm not going to judge but really. Who does that?

Vampire Lord...though...that had to be Petra.

She turned around as Falion ran up to her. She was surprisingly taller than him as she leered down at stare a the strange man.

"Let's just say it's an honour to finally meet a pure-blooded vampire. You know how hard those are to find."

She paid him no mind as she lifted her head back up to me. Even though she wasn't her, I could still seer her face behind the black eyes, pushed up knows and tusk like teeth.

She tilted her head and completely ignored Falion. She floated up and flew towards me as I walked down the stairs. She pressed her claws on my neck, examining my wound.

"They got you didn't they?" She spoke, her words echoing in my mind. It felt, intimate, exclusive.

I nodded.

"Aye. Alva of all people, hiding out here."

She continued to check out the marks left on my skin. The bite felt pretty deep, as my face continued to warm, with sweat trickling down from my brow. I was ill and feverish.

"Did you take care of her?" She asked me.

I smiled.

"I took her down of course. Nothing left but her even more lifeless corpse."

Petra grinned. She had no problem with me seeing her in this form of hers. I guess she had bigger things to worry about. I knew that she trusted me and I trusted her.

She turned to Falion and lifted her index finger, curling it back as she glared at him.

"You, step forward." She called out to him coldly.

The Redguard hurried over. Petra ushered him to take a look at the wound. She showed him how it was, even though I couldn't see it for myself.

"He's infected. Do you think we still have time to cure him?"

No! Petra, this was about curing you! Don't worry about me! I'll be fine.

Falion rubbed his chin.

"This is just the first phase of Sanguinare Vampriris. He is just weakened, but luckily we can just treat it as a disease for now. All he needs is a potion. But he better get it quick. Leave it too long and you'll get the hunger fOr blood."

I shivered. Sounded more simple than I imagined. Petra had planned on helping out with that anyway.

"This is about Petra though. We heard that you might be able to help cure her." I told him.

He seemed relatively stunned.

"What? You want to be cured? But your strength, your gifts!"

Petra crossed her arms. She was none to pleased with those words.

"The strength is nice but I don't feel human. I was already a night-walker, but I'd prefer my journey be taken seriously throughout. Maybe get my sleeping patterns adjusted. I'd want to stand out without getting burnt to a crisp. Plus I'd like not to give into temptation, if you don't mind."

I observed the Redguard. He was still confused.

"But, you're a Daughter of Coldharbour! You must have met Molag Bal an...ACK!"

Next thing we need was Petra's long claws of ebony wrapped around his throat. I had to admit, she carried him like he was but a feather in the wind. The power seemed potent enough but she wanted to be who she was and not a reminder of Mercer did to her. I fully understood why she wanted it. She wanted the remainder of his influence purged and the pain to cease. While...the memories of Mercer may not fade, at least to allow her to move on properly, without being seen as an abomination.

"Listen to me! You will cure me. I have a black soul gem! I was said to need it. But before we do. I want you to cure Brynjolf first!"

She was so demanding. I'm sure I could maybe wait till morning. Then again, He did say not to let it fester.

"Alright, alright put me down. Apologies, I'm letting past desires blind me. Let me see...I may have...ahuh...yes. Here. I had this in case they decided to infect me." He said as he shuffled through his pouch.

He had handed be a squarish red bottle after finding it somewhere in his pouch. I looked at Petra who nodded to me in approval. I opened the bottle and sniffed it, before drinking the whole thing. Bottoms up.

In that near instant I felt heaps better, that fever ceasing every moment, after Petra lathered what blood I had there. It tickled, with Falion looking on with the most weirded out expression on his face. I kept forgetting how odd this would have looked to other people.

"While it would be disappointing to see a specimen of the pure-blooded variety to go away, I can understand your concern. I once contemplated becoming a vampire myself, but I had my own reasons not to. Come on, I'll show you what we need to do next."

* * *

We'd been successful in dealing with the problems of the town and now they had now no more vampires to fear from. While that's never really guaranteed, they would have to sleep better at night because of it. Petra went back to normal as we followed Falion through the marsh in the midst of the cloudy skies and fogged grounds. We kept an eye on him as we drifted close by... He eventually lead us both to a strange type of area, possible part of the ritual itself. It had three ancient spires across it. Petra gave Falion the black soul gem, and I watched from afar as the wizard prepared the ceremony.

Petra stood in the middle while Falion stood in front of her and raised his arms, his face towards the the realm of Kynareth.

 _"I call upon Oblivion realms.  
The home of those who are not our ancestors. Answer my plea!_  _As in death there is new life, in Oblivion there is a beginning for that which has ended._   _I call forth that power! Accept the soul that we offer!_   _As the sun ends the night, end the darkness of this soul, return life to the creature you see before you!"_

There was a slight moment of stillness, making me wonder if it had actually worked. I crossed my arms and tapped my arm and was about to get really until..

A bright light swirled around Petra, golden tendrils that were brighter than the sun, the energies also rose her into the air, much to her dismay and confusion Once she was covered with it, the power dispered as a mass amount of energy that flung out in the explosion, causing Petra to drop down to the ground unconscious.

I didn't hesitate to run over to her to check if she was alright. I went on my knees and carefully rested her hand on my lap. It took her a but, I was instantly relieved when she batted her eyelids, reawakening.

It was dark, so I could look at her face clearly enough. She sat up and rubbed her head. I smirked.

"You gave me quite a scare there lass. You okay?" I asked her, of course.

She nodded and swung her arms a bit, standing up. I was more worried about her falling over again, but like many other times she proved me wrong. She gave me me a more concerting look when I stood up to meet her expression.

"Fine, better actually. Don't feel as cold as I did and on the plus side. I'm human?" She said, sounding much better, although a bit tired.

Falion approached and nodded.

"Yes indeed. Welcome back to the living!"

You know what? Petra never looked better. We thanked Falion for his work, who stated that it was all he could in thanks for saving him. We waved him off as he returned back to his home.

* * *

 

Petra herself however, needed a drink. And just a mead this time and not some weird desire for blood. We both felt better in fact as we went back to Moorside Inn. We let the Innkeeper know her brother's safely back home and pretty much offered us drinks on the house.

This hero thing was mostly infectious (pardon the pun), not that I originally wanted it. I mean, all you'd do is end up in some forgotten story, but then you see people like the Innkeeper, Jonna I mean, and you feel like you've actually made a difference in the world. I don't think I've come to Morthal for many other reasons, since the coin and loot here wasn't really worth while taking, which kept me focused to the main cities of course.

But it's a strange, unfamiliar feeling. I've never known to be exactly noble. But I've also thought, that I might not be cut for it either. I've been injured by a dragon and infected on the same day. That's not something I want on my reputation as the man who couldn't fight. While Petra had to will herself to do what she needed, it doesn't make her any less of a fighter. She was born to that sort of thing and not really needing to tag along with our outfit.

I needed to keep myself prepared more. I expect more craziness to come forth. Especially while I'm with Petra.

Speaking of which, she was so full of energy tonight. I guess she was excited about finally having a new lease on life, which I don't blame her. We sat there, having a drink when she suddenly turned to me.

"I'm thinking of going now. We'll have to go to Ivarstead. We may be able to get there by late afternoon. What do you say?"

I blinked.

"You sure? You're going to be vulnerable to fatigue now, don't forget about that lass." I warned her as while she was alive, she was more susceptible to certain...normal conditions.

As predicted, she brushed me.

"Pffff! That's okay. I'm Nocturnal...if you know what I mead."

That was a worse pun than mine, but I couldn't help but smile when she laughed. 

"Yeah yeah...alright. It's settled then? Let's get the horses.."

She didn't appear to be tired so I wasn't going to argue. We left the Inn to tell the Jarl the good news and we were rewarded with decent pay. Hmm...pays to be good I suppose. Here was me thinking people were rotten to the core.

No matter, we readied ourselves to head to Ivarstead. And thank the Gods for this glorious night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Falion in my mind would never shake off the desire to be a vampire, like Erandur often falls into the trap of revering Vaermina despite now being dedicated to Mara.


	40. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the weather gets worse, Petra and Brynjolf find shelter and wait it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I've tweaked a few things to make this chapter sound better. :)

 

Who's idea was to stroll around this time of night? Worst being, it had started to rain!

Ugh...

Brynjolf and I could barely see a thing in the darkness, and we were getting drenched. Nocturnals luck my ass! We were busy arguing and yelling at each other under the heavy course of piercing drops, which were more icy than anything! We could see the lightning in the distance. Good going Petra. Now you've lost us in the middle of a damned storm!

I admit it was a terrible idea. We should have slept the night at the Moorside Inn and left for Ivarstead in the morning. But  _nooooOOoooo,_ despite being exhausted, I was too eager to stay in one place, especially with my destiny at hand. I have no doubt I'd never forget my experiences a vampire, but to be part of the living again, mortal even, was just a huge breath of fresh air. Being a nord, it's no doubt that we prefer the dead stay that but we're often too prideful to realize our ancestors had become a threat but not under their own doing. Vampires are different though. I was willing to do what it took to defeat Mercer, while the memories were never going to pleasant, I made the well worth sacrifice to do so, even if meant me being undead to the hatred of Stendarr and Meridia, both Aedra and Daedra respectively, and lingering parts of  _his_...essence were long gone. Although I still had Chillrend, I kept it as a reminder of what occurred and not to forget the choices I've made.

But this choice. Ugh, compared to that,  _worst_  mistake. Wet strands of hair kept violently flicking me in the face. Part of my hair had fallen out of my ponytail and I couldn't just stop to fix it. We were desperate to find somewhere dry and warm to wait until morning, as well as for the rains to cease.

One could say during my tenure as an immortal left me with a bit too much confidence in terms that I wouldn't have to worry too much about overexerting myself. A bit of blood sufficed and I was never really craving anything else. But somehow, the mead just tasted better on a live tongue than an undead one, the texture, the flavors...just...was better.

Blood wasn't too flash but you have this craving for it all the time. Tasting blood for the first time wasn't glamorous, but you feel the sense of relief when you get the right amount to feed on. It develops as a natural necessity and everyone has a different taste. But you no longer enjoy most of the standard pleasures in life. Good food, good company...the need to touch another. I didn't miss the coldness it brought. I wasn't complaining, but when your skin feels like ice you are instantly reminded that yes, you are on the border of life and death itself, with old blood magics keeping you that way. Not exactly natural is it?

I think the main reason for me being overexcited was that I was reinvigorated, that my own soul had returned to me. Still Dragonborn, I think...or either they took my mortal soul and my own was sort of, replaced by one of the dragons I've already slain? How...how do they know? No idea. I'd rather talk to a soul gem expert on that one. Or a soul expert. I dunno. Was it because it was in my blood and not my soul? Dunno...magic is never really logical or explained thoroughly. I don't want to think about it.

So we're still rummaging through the dark and wet, with no town or city in sight, but from the small amounts of lit up areas I did see, we may have been in the tundras of Whiterun. Although we did see sort of house nearby. I then remembered, that I've been here before on my travels. Some guy, I found that his name was Lund. I came here once before asking for directions to where ever. Can't recall where I was heading to, but turns out the place was infested with skeevers and the mans dead body on the bed. So, the honorable thing was to take care of the skeevers and bury the man outside. I cleaned up the house, even though no one was living in there, because it was the respectful thing to do.

I made the suggestion to Brynjolf, who grumbled at me. Perhaps not his first choice, but he better be grateful that there was shelter at all! We trotted over and tied our horses outside in the stables so they'll be okay, hopefully they don't get spooked. Door was still unlocked, as I left it. I would like to think that I'd subconsciously done that for situations like these. I dunno. Logically, we should have left it be.

* * *

We went inside, place still dark itself. We lit the fires and the candles around us. The first brush of the heat of flames, while they did not singe, obviously, but the way you could feel the water steaming off was wondrous. Certainly still homely enough for the both of us. And the place didn't have the stench of death in it.

"By the Gods that feels great..." I spoke as I exhaled with relief, placing my hands near the fire.

Brynjolf rolled his eyes.

"Aye...we were lucky that we even found this place. No ones home though...are we trespassing?"

While the thought of trespassing came across as amusing, considering we pretty much do that anyway, we were in a way, but I told Brynjolf the story about Lund and how this place is pretty much an emergency pit stop.

"How do I know you're not pulling me around here lass?" He questioned, sitting down at the table nearby.

I gave him a dull look, with eyes half-lidded.

"Do you think I'll lie about that?" I answered, annoyed that he wouldn't believe me.

He raised his hands in defense.

"No...just...surprising as all."

He took his gloves off and draped them over the spit rail. I watched him as he rubbed his arms and hands, seeing that long scar he got from the dragon earlier.

"Does...it still hurt?" I asked, voice unusually softer than usual.

Bryn shook his head.

"The odd sting here and there. I'll manage. You tend to forget how deep it got me."

I nodded, rubbing my hands. Still looked painful enough. I looked up at his hair, which was tattered by the constant beating of the wind and the rain. I'll pulled my own rogue, wet strands behind my ears.

"Well, if you're tired, there's a bed over there if you want rest until morning. Plus it'd be a lot warmer." I told him, bobbing my head to my right.

He chuckled.

"The thoughts tempting. But I might watch, just in case. You've had a rough day. I think you should rest."

I shrugged. I'm still charged with the vigor of life.

"I'm content with being nearer to the fire. Armour will get dry quicker that way."

We must have spent quite a while standing there in silence. The storm did little to create even a small amount of conversation. At this point, it left me to think about a lot of things. I was alive, brimming with life, especially now, with hearing my quickened heartbeat in my ears.

There were many moments where I wanted to look at Bryn, but I'd forced my eyes to just sit on the fire and wait for us to dry. I did a similar instruction as he did, as putting my own gloves on the spit rail. I also placed my Nightingale bow, my quiver, the Nightingale Blade and Chillrend on the desk nearby. If it'd make things easier.

Bryn did the same, putting all his things on the table behind him. I suppose this would be the perfect time to say that this is where it started to get awkward.

For what ever reason, we ended up standing side by side as we continued to allow ourselves to glimpse at the flames before us. Didn't know what Brynjolf was thinking, but I swallowed my own saliva as my own pulse liked to go faster, making me sweat slightly. My throat felt like it closed up. It was similar to encountering a dragon...plus the shivering a bit but not as badly. I could feel Bryn brush up against me with his arm, I then realized he was trying to take one of his boots off.

"Did...you want any help there?" I asked him, noticing his struggle.

"No...just...the damn things stuck!" He grunted as he slapped his hand on my shoulder for grip.

He gritted his teeth as I observed the comedic show before me and tried so hard not smile.

"Gah! Bloody boot is filled with water...Ugh... **BY SHOR!** "

I did feel my shoulder being yanked and my balance shot as Brynjolf stumbled and fell off, leaving me black for a few seconds after a mighty big thump.

I opened my eyes shortly after, finding myself on top of Bryn. Now, in previous cases we'd normally do this because I was having a hard time myself and those occasions I really did need someone to hold me for that moment.

But at this stage we were fine. Except for the part we he lifted his head and groaned and my head ended up nestled on his neck. So our faces were near each other. I bit my lip again, with a subtlety of course as Brynjolf lifted his head and in that moment we locked eyes with one another.

"Hi there..." He said with his voice low, but the vibrations reverberated off his chest, giving me a tingly feeling.

I gave a small, nervous smile.

"Hi..." I croaked.

My eyes darted between his own and trailed all over his face then finally towards his sweet...

I hadn't expected him to shuffle about and sit us both up like he did. We found ourselves sitting there, mostly relaxed. His legs were all mangled, but I offered to take the boot off for him. I saw his adams apple bounce a bit as he nodded towards me.

"Well, if you think you have a better chance of taking it off for me, be my guest."

I smirked as I put his foot in my lap and gave all my strength into pull it off for him. It was straining at first, as I pulling my tongue out as I stretched and pulled with what I had. I bounced his foot around in it first as I was shaking the boot. I gave it one last, mighty big pull and next thing I knew, it was my back on the floor, but holding the boot up as if it was some trophy of triumph.

I could hear Brynjolf chortle. I ended up throwing the thing at his face to shut him up. I then pressed my hands on the floor and forced myself back up.

"Well done lass. You never cease to impress." He complimented, obviously mocking me.

I just stuck my tongue at him. Real mature Petra.

"Shut it Bryn. You want me to take the other one off too? Or would you like to continue fumbling and hopping around on one foot?"

That was even more worse than the first one. I could have dragged Brynjolf around the house, and once contemplated in using my shout to get the damn thing off. They were filthy and covered in mud. It was a huge, but funny battle...the most fierce I've ever faced.

Again, I ended up on the floor, but I was laughing about it, I just couldn't help myself. The joy ran in through my veins and was heartening. The warmth that flowed around was not just from the fire, but from the way Brynjolf and I had developed, we were at a point that we were not afraid to just mess around. I was free as well. I promised myself not to enact until I was cured and now that I am, it's harder than it looks to let, well, to tell Bryn that..

"Want my help in taking off yours then?" Brynjolf asked me. There was much fun and happiness in his voice, supported by his smile.

I chuckled, almost snorting.

"If you insist..." I spoke with a playful tone.

I gave him my feet as he started having the same trouble I did when I took off his. He grunted and groaned and complained that my feet must have been big. He was lucky I didn't end up kicking him in the chin. But, his grunts were rather, surprisingly, embarrassingly, and shockingly, arousing. He pulled the first one off fine, but when it came to finally getting the second one off, he ended up rolling backwards and hitting the wall on the other side of the room

I just hackled, it was the funniest thing to see, I swear. He was okay as far as I saw. He'd dropped the boot down as he wore the biggest scowl. I shoved it aside and ended up crawling for some reason and sat next to him. The floor was cold but I didn't care.

I sat there, letting out little snorts and spurts of laughter as I did. He was just regaining his breath. I patted his leg, thanking him for his 'hard work'

"That was fun..." I told him. It'd been the most fun I had in a long time. I don't recall the last time where I laughed so hard.

His head lazily rolled to lock eyes with me. That sharp pang hit me again, starting from my eyes and just enveloped me all over. That face of his...he was so tired.

I felt my cheeks heat up just staring at him. He then looked like he was going to try and say something, but the words couldn't come out of his lips. He sat up a bit more, shifting a bit. He must have been a bit uncomfortable.

He then took a deep breath. He was nervous, anxious about something. Hang on,

I think I knew what it was...if it was what I thought it could be, it was written there clearer than it had been. It was the first time I'd seen his eyes in such a state, or his expression normally hid it. But he wasn't trying to hide it anymore...he wasn't using the shadows to protect his thoughts. And I wasn't being a dumbass for once (or at least I'm not in this moment) I'd seen this expression before, back when I was in Cyrodiil and the Imperial boys that I hung out with beheld it more than once. But...I was, still am immature. Father always told me to grow up and see things for what they really were and that I shouldn't be spending my days with shit I had no clue about. I realize now what he really meant. These boys were my friends and while...I myself have had random encounters as one would have when they're young and silly, some of them did have, more...noble qualities that I never caught on to. Now it was happening again. I'm older, wiser and for me, feeling those truer, Mara based emotions rather than the fleeting Dibellan ones immediately helped me suss the actually differences. Such words, this time by my mother. He had to be feeling the same...  _Brynjolf_...

This what had him so boiled up the previous times. Nightingale Hall, the Tavern at Winterhold.

I...didn't see. I was so blind by my own problems (I can practically hear father screaming at me for being a selfish brat) that I didn't notice that all the things he'd done for me. I've been so self-absorbed and needy the entire time but the man just keeps on giving no matter what. And I'd swore to myself that I would give back. All because what was currently just staring at me right now. And I'd been so damn stupid not to get it beforehand. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. What could I do?

But Bryn was sweating like I was. It was hard for him, I could tell as he just had no sense in what he was trying to tell. And I found that cute. After all this time, Mr. Confidence and Assurance, the one who could lie through his teeth about nonsense that about some bogus elixir..just...couldn't do it. I imagined he was tiptoeing because of what happened with Mercer. No, Mercer is dead and I am so ready to move on now. I may not forget it, but I can get on with my life now and deal with what really matters in life.

Poor red-headed lout. Though I'm certain he needed more than pity from me right now. No. I'm going to give him something else. Something much better. Something simple, but effective. I wanted to surprise him.

" _Close your eyes..._ " I whispered. I was going to take this on myself once and for all. All because I'd been so moronic all this time to not understand what he actually wanted.

Confused as he was, he complied like a good boy and did what he was told. I placed my hand on his cheek, feeling his beard between my fingers. I gave him a soft, supporting smile as I felt him tense up and breath deeply through his nose. Obviously he couldn't see, so it probably was for my sake. The whole aura was so charged and rife with emotional perplexities, that all I really wanted Brynjolf to do was to be fully confident again. Like the man at the market and the man who clung on to me so tight and never let go, no matter how hard it got. He's not so much as taken a physical beating as more an emotional one. I can still see it in his eyes that he's hiding so much more and now that he wasn't afraid to let it all out, only if his mouth and tongue could agree to what his mind and heart wanted to say so badly.

My face beamed. We were in such a state of tranquility as he is still, but the tension between us was still pretty thick. I still had my hand feeling his face. I liked the touch of his beard, that furry feeling, like petting a dog. He enjoyed it as I noticed his face soften and he waged war with his eyelids. I'm glad he was finding it comforting. Thunder burst outside, but that was rivaling the way my heart was beating so loudly in my own head. My lips trembled. I wanted this badly, but I was fighting against nerve to do so.

It took me a few attempts to move, as I pushed my head closer to him.

"Petra..." I heard him mutter my name. He swallowed.

"What are you..."

I quickly shut him up as I moved quickly and brushed my lips with his, a sensation that made him shudder slightly and filled me all around with a unique warmth. I certainly felt better about it and I hoped he did too. So I began with some soft supple kisses, which were always a good starter. I could feel his own lips quiver beneath mine and I kept going until he finally responded in kind. We were slow to start, listening to the soft pops as we went on, and our heavy, cut short and juddered breaths through our noses. I pulled out with my mouth still open a bit, as I licked my lips. His own mouth remained gaped with shock as he slowly opened his eyes to look at me. The breathing got heavier from his side as he swallowed, his adams apple bouncing again. He was genuinely stunned; lost for words.

I gave him a subtle smirk. He didn't mind it all as I went in to start again. A burning sensation just exploded within my core, so I then picked up the pace as I shoved my hands into his tattered hair and yanked him closer to me, quickening the velocity of our locking. His beard brushed against my chin, and his nerves were making him quake. I fought with my tongue to delve into his mouth, feeling the wetness and curves and the subtle sweet taste of mead from his.

I'd caught him by surprise as he tried to catch up with me.

" _Mmmmm..._ " He murmured.

His sudden moaning sent pangs straight to my loin. I had to readjust myself for that. His hand snaked it's way up passed my face and his fingers then dug into my scalp. I went a different direction as I bit his lip, making him grunt in frustration. I started kissing his chin, then kissed my way down his neck. I found the original marks that Alva left on him, no doubt. They should be fine and healed, but I started suckling there anyway. He moaned again as he made slight pants. My hand wiggled it's way down his chest, then to his arm and to his lower arm. He looked at me with confusion, and a painful haze written his face as I turned to kissing the cut on his arm, licking it.

" _Lass...by Shor..._ "

I stopped as he hissed through his teeth, thinking that I was hurting him. I gave him a sad look. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

"Sorry Bryn...just thought..."

He shook his head. His chest rose and fell quite heavily as he breathed just as much.

"No...no...you weren't hurting me. I enjoyed that. I did." He muttered.

I smiled. It was gratifying leaving him breathless like that. He then looked at me with pleading eyes, wanting more.

"What did you want to do now?" I asked him, grasping his hand.

And in response, he grasped back...but then he looked me dead in the eye, his facial expression turning serious.

"I...I want  _you_ lass." He told me outright, that it made my heart skip a bit, and a powerful surge of fire ran right through me, focusing around my core.

I looked at him with lustful eyes. This was promising. I wanted him as well. But I was the one going to let him choose for once.

"Ohh...I see...anything you want to do...to  _me_?" I whispered, with the intention of letting him do what he wanted for once without me stuffing it up because I was too scared and in all honesty, I wanted to let him try. He had the largest blush on his face as he looked down. Fascinating how words could do that.

"I...want to touch you...but I'm afraid...that because what happened..."

I shook my head and stopped him from speaking any further as I grabbed his chin and gave him a quick peck. He still has that bloody idea in his head.

"Because of what happened with Mercer? Bryn, the guy is dead and deserves all the punishment he can get with his soul stuck in Oblivion. I trust you completely. And I wouldn't have this any other way."

This teddy bear was just giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes. You would never see this elsewhere, the strong, the smart and the witty, breaking down before me. He closed his eyes and kissed me back, with me feeling his smile as he did so.

"Alright then. But uhh...promise me you won't laugh? Because of word of this got out to the Guild, I'll be the laughing stock..."

I wasn't sure what he was on about but anyway. I kissed back again to reassure him.

"You can trust me definitely. The Guild doesn't have to know squat."

He became nervous again, refusing to look me in the eye, and his blush became more apparent to one of embarrassment than anything else.

"I've ah...aha...never been with a woman before." He said, sadly, his voice lower and quieter at the last few words.

I rose an eyebrow. Okay then. That's new.

"Seriously?"

Brynjolf lowered his head in shame. Honestly? No. I wasn't being too harsh. I shook my head and got up, then reached my hand out to him and smiled. He furrowed his brows, puzzled at my proposition. He took it up as I pulled him back to his feet. I kept a small distance between us as I examined him. Yeah, still confused. I gently rubbed his arm and continued to smile.  
Him? A virgin? One of the last people I would have expected to be in that position. But...going from the extremely unexpected expression of embarrassment on his face, he wasn't lying.

I mean, my first time was a bit of an unknown. A friend. Both of us were in an awkward frame of mind. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have rushed into it. But it does get easier. Although his display at Nightingale Hall was incredibly surprising, I feel bad now for hurting him when...I don't know. He was dreaming. Of me. Somewhere within him wanted it. I expect that from most males. But Bryn was cautious for a reason. I mean, he could have any woman he wanted. He chooses...me? I'm flattered but I've already taken so much from him.

But maybe I could give something back.

I had to do something. Bryn looked like a lost child just standing there. 

"Hey, we're both adults." I said softly. Although...what counted as being an adult these days.

"I'll offer my services to...no...I offer to give what comfort I can. I can tell how brave you are even mentioning this to me. We don't have to do anything you don't want to. We could lay there, cuddle, kiss..."

I felt my cheeks warm at the mere mention of it. I've never met a man like him before. He's an actual teddy bear. He perked up as he stepped closer to me, putting his arms around my waist.

"I appreciate that Petra." He commented.

"I'm not proud of it. I have my own reasons that I don't currently feel comfortable sharing. There's so much, but you have me primed and focused. I will not let you down."

I...don't know if I expected Brynjolf to have so much baggage. I was hoping he'd spill, but...I did say he doesn't have to anything he's not comfortable with. Maybe within time I'll break those barriers, for now, I'll just ensure that he's treated right. He deserves that much. I pressed myself against him and wrapped my arms around his back. I looked up at him as my chin rested on his chest. I could see those emerald eyes looking down upon me. 

"I did enjoy kissing you though. But taking more than that..." He muttered as he trailed off and lost his focus on me.

"Hey, take what you need." I told him outright, honest and true.

"I'm certain there is enough funds to cover costs, in a good way." 

He smirked and chuckled. To hear him like that was like the sound of the winds of Kynareth. He turned to me again as he held my cheek with his hand.

"I'm guessing that's a metaphor...but...maybe the reasons I had...maybe I wanted to wait for the right woman to share it with." He said, his tone sounding a bit more confident.

Right woman huh?

"I'm for it Petra. But don't....don't look back and think I did everything for you just so I could bed you. Please don't. I've read those stories before. I care for you deeply and the last thing I want to do, is hurt you lass."

What? No. I've never wanted to think that with him! Perhaps I listened to Mercers words too closely. No. Nightingale Hall was just a mess and I realized I may have screwed things up more. But we can mend that. Definitely. But I see where he's coming from. Plenty of boys after one thing and not the other (sometimes the girls too). Besides work, Brynjolf had no ill intent. I know I can look back and recall more of the happier occasions than the sad ones. Or even the neutral from the sad, which is better than nothing. And hearing him say he cares for me...evident through his actions but hearing him say it set my heart on fire.

"Than- I know you don't. Which is why I'm more than happy to help you." I stuttered. Cutting off words still impossible to say.

He leaned in to kiss me again, grabbing the back of my head to pull me closer. I felt tingly as he did so. But I could sense his tension and nerves. I had to be careful. We parted ways as I watched don a flirtatious look.

"Of course. Just...let's just get to it, aye beautiful?" He said in a low but sexy tone. I giggled.

I grabbed his hand in a swift motion and dragged him towards the bed. I then took hold of his arms and pushed him on it, much to his dismay. The look on his face was priceless. I jumped on there with him and straddled my legs on both sides of his waist. I wondered if he had expectations of what was supposed to happen, but I wouldn't doubt that he'd give it his all. He then shrugged and smiled.

I've seen him flirting for work purposes, so there wouldn't be any reason why he wouldn't know what to do. I let him work at his own pace and how he saw fit.

He was at least gentlemanly enough to help me take my armour off, including the pants, but at least we were acting quicker than the damn boots. I took his off as well, licking my lips I look up and down his well-toned abs and gorgeous pecks, as well as the tinier little scratches and war-wounds all over his body. I pulled out my hair from it's pony tail, letting my own rain-drowned strands dangle all over my shoulders.

I caught him catching all the scars on my body that I've taken during my life. He looked at me as if to ask if he could touch them. That facial expression was easy to read. I nodded in approval. He started with moving his hands up my hips then to my waist. His hands, rough from constant battle and probable lock picking were evident, but I was pleased he knew how to actually use his hands. Thank Dibella...uh...thank Nocturnal? Thank both I guess? Mara? Maybe? Bah...thank all the Gods...and the others.

He used his finger to lightly scratch the scars on my stomach. I twitched on several of them, as they were still a bit sensitive. Each scar has their own story to tell. Brynjolf found the largest one underneath my left breast. I shivered as I remembered Mercer getting me the the first time, an instant recollection of unwarranted memories. Bryn stopped, noticing the horror on my face.

"Do you want to stop there?" He asked with worry.

I shook my head. I should be able to get over it. He nodded. He then trailed his hands down towards my legs and my underwear. He must have stared at them quite a bit, making me trying to think what he was up to. I had a few theories, but this was the one I had the most difficulty reading so far.

"Good. Well, knowing...from what I've studied and heard, there's a few things I'd like to try. Said to make small, petite women go crazy over it."

I snorted, amused but I don't know if he was talking out of his ass like he normally does.

He then grabbed hold of my arms, to my surprise and turned us a around, leaving me lying on the bed in full front of him. I was liking this already. He spread my legs out, and started suckling on my thighs. I started panting as each time he did so sent of jolt of pleasure straight to my core. He worked his way up, passed my underwear and on the curves on my tiny frame, kissing from one side, then over my stomach, to the other. You wouldn't believe he hadn't done this before, but I guess he just wanted a taste first. I don't blame him.

Then it was the breasts. Yes, the mother of all mercy. He looked at me first for permission. How sweet of him. I grinned and nodded once more. I helped him out by lowering the straps and removing the bra altogether, He made a curious examination of them with a piqued interest. He then looked at me again and shifted himself and started kissing me.

His kisses were a lot more confident and energetic than they were a few moments ago. He kissed me harder as his hand went up my stomach and grasped one of my breasts carefully and squeezed them gently, while I had my hands wrapped around his head, sifting through his hair as... _mmmm._ felt nice...but...

I...didn't have the greatest of breasts myself. Like what he mentioned, I'm a tiny girl, but Bryn found something appealing about them, as all men do. He liked to press his finger against the tip of my hardened nipple. He stopped kissing my lips and worked out on sucking them instead.

" _Mmmmm..._ " I moaned as I felt the wetness from his tongue slavering all around it. His groans of pleasure were entertaining to me, and the vibrations just continued to send pangs to my stomach and send my heart racing as well, but like Bryn before me, my knees lacked any strength from the stringent pains. He worked on them both, making sure neither of them were neglected. Felt so right, but my...well, real needs wanted attention.

And, judging from Bryn making slight movements with his pelvis, it wasn't hard to see what he wanted it as well.

I forced him to stop what he was doing and pulled his head back to mine. His facial expression became one of desperation, filled with the right mixtures of love and lust that was written all over his face. He hovered over me, his hands planted firmly on each side of me.

Going up and down that generous torso of his became a habit of mine. Don't mind me for going nuts about it. But I wanted it against me, rubbing on me...I bent my knee up as he lingered over.

"Lass, I...I need to know..." He asked me, basically trying to a grip on himself. I liked this side of him, so cautious, but it did get aggravating at times.

So for goodness sake Bryn, just do it already!

"Are...are you okay...with..."

I had to quit being impatient with him, as much as I hungered for him at this moment, I kept forgetting about how he would always be worried about me no matter what. But, I think he still thinks about what Mercer did to me. What other way can I convince him that Mercer is not on my mind at the moment and all I could think about was the man over me, his eyes and and his rugged face, his fluffy beard and his long, red hair. About his spirit and his kindness beneath the surface of what you may not see him normally. I had all of him and I wanted all of him. I need everything of him. Right now.

He checked my face for clues, but it wasn't enough to convince him. No words meant nothing to him. I had to say something.

I kept smiling as I wrapped my hands around his neck.

"Bryn, if I didn't want our playing around to end like this I wouldn't have started in trying to get you to do it to begin with. Right now I'm at the point where I'm content to have you here, on top of me, where the world can't see us or bother us. I'm here to have fun with you...and I want you to have fun too."

I rubbed his neck up and down, just giving him that physical reassurance. His face lit up like he's wanted me to say that (or something like it) for very long time. I almost feel guilty for making him wait this long. But there had been so many obstacles that needed to be jumped over and now we were on our way, no turning back. And for the first time in my life I knew that this type of adventure was what the both of us needed.

But for now, all we needed was each other. And this precise moment, I felt his confidence pour back into him..

He began to kiss me softly, like I had before. I seriously don't believe he's never done this. Or he has, but never got this far with anyone. The pain in my core was getting anxious and unsteady. I felt him suckling my neck as I started to breath heavier again. I ushered his hand with my own to go down to my underwear.

"Did the books tell about you about this?" I whispered into his ear as he shivered.

He chuckled, as I felt his warm breath.

"Oh..uh...sure. Didn't know if you'd like that or not. Hang on." He commented. Confidence was cool but Bryn being new at this and me teaching him new things made me feel giddy.

He took his way as his hand caught the nip of my underwear and slithered his fingers underneath the fabric. Took him a but, but I almost jumped as his fingers ruffled around down there, carefully navigating their way towards my clit. I bit my lip as he massaged it with his fingertips, causing me to moan.

" _Bryn_...oh  _gods_... _good_..." I whispered, trying to catch my breath.

He made a dashing grin against my neck as he continued to suckle it. The breath from his nose hitched and his own moans gave me goosebumps as well.

Time for him to go further as I helped him again, grabbing his finger and guiding it inside of me. He gasped as I shivered.

" _Ahh_...yes, now slightly...curl...when you're ready, you stick another in there..."

I had to catch my breath as he curled so slowly, so carefully that it was just agonizingly strong and burning me up from within. Each curl he made was met with a small thrust on my end. Oh dear Gods...Bryn, I find it fun to teach you, but stop attending to my needs without attending to  _yours._..

In his own preference, he continued. Shortly afterwards he stuck another one in and prodded about down there. I gritted my teeth and hissed, then a loud moan escaped from me.

"Doing something there for ya lass?" He joked, again his voice low and so... _mmmm_...but I could tell that he wanted this. He was just being too generous with me. I had to draw the line somewhere. I wanted to grab his member, but he wouldn't allow it. Damnit Brynjolf.

"Bryn...you... _ahh_...let me.. _.please_...you're doing fine... _mmnnn..._  I swear!" I choked out between each prod and breath.

Bryn looked at me with evil eyes. A powerful expression that I'd never seen him have and it was doing dirty things to me.

"Oh, maybe I want you to have all the fun..." He said with such smugness.

I rolled my eyes. That wasn't my plan!

"Don't be ridiculous! This is not going to be one-sided!  _Ahhh._.. _mmmm._..come on, let me!"

He chuckled. Oh you moron...

In my annoyance I pulled his loin cloth off and his member was revealed to me. It was hard and reddish, popping out of his red pubic hair. I'm gonna make him regret his words!

As skilled as I was with my work, I snatched his member with a quick grasp, forcing Brynjolf to groan as I tightened my grip. I thumbed the top of it again, as tiny bits trickled out. I licked my lips as as I felt my chest rising and falling. Bryn was forced to pull his fingers out to try and stop me, but I just swatted his hand.

"No...no. You're not getting away with that..." I called out to him with a devious grin.

He growled at me. I was getting on his nerves. Good.

"But...Petra... _ahhh..._ "

I'd spat on my hand briefly, then grabbed it again and made slow, steady pumps on his organ, watching his face change constantly. It was a sight to see as it flushed underneath my touch. Much more entertaining as he stumbled with himself, unable to stop me. I felt wet...and ready by this point. He did his share and now he had to be prepared for the real game.

"I thought...you were... _ahh._...Gods...going to let me choose what...I  _waaaanted_... _ugh_..." He scolded between each pull. The struggle amused me greatly between his pleasure and his selflessness. Come on, he's a thief, he can afford to make a steal. (I am prepared to make a pun afterwards) I then thumbed over his tip again, causing him to hiss. I put my mouth to his ear.

"I am...but you're not gonna let us share this at the same time...that's...pretty selfish of you."

I whispered with playful spite. Which I'm pretty sure drove me over the edge.

"Selfish? Who said anything...gaahhhh about being selfish? You're being selfish here!" He groaned to me. I wanted to laugh.

I leered at him. I loved him being this angry. A good angry, not a bad angry.

"Give in then...go on...let me get the feel of you...within me..." I dared to him.

His entire face went red as he eyes went wide, as I stopped to take my underwear off. Not this again. He better not...

"Petra...I...I...uhh...don't know..." He muttered with nerves

OH FOR NOCTURNALS SAKE!

I shook my head and grabbed hold of a batch of his red hair with my other hand and made sure it was tight as I forced his head closer, our noses barely touching.

"Bryn, listen to me. I  _want_  you...no, I  _need_  you...and I know, from what I've seen...you want  _this_...you're scared of me relapsing. That won't happen, you know why? Because you're all that's in my head right now, your face, your body, your voice... _you_. Protect me from those terrible memories, won't you? Replace them with something much more powerful." I told him, urgent to keep going.

I played with his member for a bit, with my index finger running up and down it, causing him to fluster and almost lose himself.

"And when you hold me, touch me, you're fighting off the darkness there with your light. You're there from when I needed it most. And I feel guilty to having to rely on you a lot for my stupid problems. You've put up with too much to throw this away. I will only stop if you yourself want me to. If you want me to do so, then let me know, I'm not going to force you do anything you feel is not right, okay?"

He looked at me and scrunched his eyes. I think I accidentally hit something. Oops. I rectified that giving him more reassured kisses. He responded in kind, but his was shaking. Nervous. He pulled back.

"I...I don't want to stop. No...but you're right, I'm sorry. I do want this. But it doesn't stop me from worrying about you lass."

I smiled warmly as my hand went from behind his head to his cheek again.

"Worry about me then if it makes you happy. You're forgetting that you're here with me now. I'm in your sights and I'm definitely not going anywhere."

My heart melted as his face changed yet again. It may take some time to fully convince him of those facts. I worry about him a lot as well, and he's just gotta be Brynjolf to make me happy and that I was fully content with. With that settled, the shots of pain continued to strike at my core as my face hardened with lust.

"Now, don't let this go to waste. I'm aching right now..." I told him outright.

He swallowed and nodded sternly.

"Alright then! I'm ready!"

That's better.

We kissed once more, but more harshly. I felt his member bash against my thighs as I raised my knees up beside him as he lowered himself towards me. So wet, sloppy but he was giving it his all. He fobbled a bit, but I gasped as I felt him enter. Finally...

He started off with slow, short thrusts. Each one getting stronger as he built up his confidence again. I wrapped both my arms around his neck again. We both got sweatier by the moment, the heat in the room escalating with our combined energies. We began losing more breath than we could take in, each gasp turning into quick hurried puffs. The feeling of his member inside me felt more than just a simple bask in pleasure. Weirdly enough, it was a great release of ourselves with one another, raising ourselves to higher spiritual levels, without worrying too much in terms what was going on around us.

The thrusts got faster as we were bathed in the light of the candles and the fire place. The storm still ravaged on outside as thunder got louder. Lightning struck as I parted lips with him moaned out aloud into the heated air, folding my legs over Brynjolfs back as he pushed in harder.

" _Ahh_...Bryn...oh Gods... _ahh_..."

We were messy,  _very_  messy, but it was a beautiful mess. Sorrows were disappearing and our hearts were just pumping to extremes in our heads. Brynjolf's face was so intently focused and redder than his hair, as well being drenched in sweat.

"Hah...hah... _Petra_... _haahhh_..."

Other sounds filled the room, the shuffling of the sheets beneath us, the slaps of our bodies clashing together, wet and filthy...we provided the air and noise of nothing but pure pleasure and agonizing over our needs to just get there...together. And that's what made it wonderful, the detail of it, the muscles burning as they did their jobs well, the clashing of our lips to taste each other once more. No, I was no longer wanting blood, I just wanted Brynjolf...I wanted all of him, his mouth a wonderland for my tongue and the burn to seek it constantly made it entirely addicting.

Brynjolf was grunting in frustration, but I was getting closer to fruition, with Bryn filling the ever growing need for to get lost in the sensations. His member making the repeated motions, always desperate for me.

I dug my nails into his neck as it was becoming unbearable and the possibility to hold on much longer was decreasing. No...that's what we wanted. And Brynjolf, in his entirety, the thrusting, the constant tension pulling at us, his groaning, moaning and grunting all piled into me and was driving me insane. No doubt it was doing the same to him. His desperation forced him to try harder and faster yet again that I myself could barely keep up, my lungs clamoring for air, but his girth and speed of it was too much for me to handle as I barely had enough time to breath.

"Oh Petra... _Petra_... _please_..." He moaned to me. Like the stars were speaking and the moons were howling back.

I was getting so close now. He leaned over me some more, his back arching, He gave me one long kiss, wild and intense, then buried his head into the pillow beside me. He was getting close as well. We both then started to thrash about in this whirlwind of desire. It continued to build and build until I couldn't handle it anymore.

"Oh...Brynjolf... _ahhhhhhh_ "

I felt an explosion of great power from my core, filling my body with unbearable tinglyness that I continued to bubble out thrash from. I then felt Brynjolfs release within me shortly after his last series of high octane, speedy thrusts...resulting in a mighty roar escaping him as he gave the last one his all that was felt everywhere to me.

"Petra,  _Petra_...please...I love you... _gahhhhhh..._ "

We'd lost ourselves entirely to the most arousing ecstasy to that given moment, disgusting but perfect as we shared this blessed moment together. We pressed onto that hold and that final ultimate push as long as we could, filling ourselves with the broken hold on needs and screaming to the roof tops, praising the skies. My mind was in another world in entirely basked in a brilliant light, like we'd both visited Sovngarde for that tiny moment, and descended back slowly. We were shaking and we shone underneath the glistening candlelight as we basked in each others warmth, falling back down to Nirn from our orgasmic realms.

We'd never breathed so heavily before. Brynjolf was left grunting repeatedly, his arms left wobbly but his face was giving off the most superior glow. I was left bewildered and smiling widely, spilling myself out from the inside from the tinglyness. In my desperation to reclaim breath, I remember recalling his last words before we both disappeared into our delightful heavens.

He...he did love me back? Should have known. He was working so hard. But I had to figure out if it was true. I held his face with two hands, trying to make sure he knew what he was telling me and wasn't just speaking on behalf of his lust, but he just...was still recovering. I rubbed his side with my knee trying to get his attention back.

"Brynjolf? Nirn to Brynjolf are you still there?" I called out to him.

He still shook above me, trying to recompose himself and was probably left wondering what just happened. Oh dear...

"Bryynnnn..."

I myself had still needed time to catch my breath. I caught his attention eventually, as it was just pretty much left where we were before. I guess it takes longer to get back, especially with your first time.

"Oh...sorry...lass...it's...just... _wow._..I...just let me..."

I chuckled and gave another kiss. I felt his lips widen into a smile as it did. I parted first.

"It's okay...it's fine. You don't have to struggle against your own weight here. Just..I need to ask you something."

He looked at me, finally getting reclaiming his breath.

"Aye, what is it?"

I looked away for the moment then looked back.

"Did...do you say what I thought you said? You...love me? Is...that what you said just before?" I wondered, asking the serious questions here.

His eyes widened, like he'd almost forgotten about it. His face was still red, but it just turn into a darker shade. I sensed something greater here.

"Aye...I did...know it might seem sudden, but I've been meaning to tell you for a while now...but don't let it get your head that I only said that because of this. I just, needed a time to say it."

I was amused and fascinated.

"Perfect timing in the middle of a climax. I guess that's a good a time as any..." I joked.

We both laughed. We were both on a level of happiness higher than expected.

"I don't mind if you don't love me back. The fact you gave me this opportunity is not just breathtaking, literally, but it just...I thought we reached to a new level of understanding. But please understand that I really do love you..." He pleaded to me. As if he didn't already give his soul and, I did warn beforehand, that I stole his virginity. (I'm sorry)

That we did...that we did. I pulled some of his strands of hair behind his ear. But, it wasn't fair to leave Bryn on the brink like that. Still the noble rogue as always but he had a big heart as I could tell. I trailed my hands behind his neck again and bit my lip, then thought, why not?

"Oh Brynjolf you big red-headed bastard. " I started.

I could say a thousand things. I could say how much he meant to me. How he's saved me, how he's charming and funny and all that. How his handsome in his own rugged way. How he has amazing eyes like emeralds, hair like rubies and a heart like gold. How he's a skilled thief and...

Or I could just say one.

"I love you too."

I think a different type of release was in order here and not the type of one you find by just screwing with one another. But with the butterflies that constantly roamed in our stomachs by just thinking about one another, it's on a different pathway. The genuine completion of a self-discovering journey well spent with each other, had lead us to believing in ourselves and finding comfort and something more in each others arms. It took us forever, but I personally think it was worth it. And now we had said it, we were more...in strength in arms about it. Our hearts would constantly bleed for each other and the longing evolved into an instant and unbreakable connection that took us higher on the planes of happiness. We still had a long ways to go, but it was just another step.

And by responding to Brynjolf as such, I think we did just that.

"Truly?" He gasped, surprised.

I rolled my eyes.

"Of course...you're really think I'd let you do this if I didn't? Or maybe I just wanted to see Little Bryn in person."

We both snickered. I think the understanding part was because we can make jokes about it without fear for reprisal or backlash. As long as we kept it to ourselves. But his smile warmed my heart in many ways you cannot imagine. He kissed briefly before hugging one another with an utmost renewed founding in one another.

We were home.

* * *

Brynjolf then shifted off and fell beside me, noticeably weary after what we had accomplished. He wrapped an arm around me as I laid on my side, my one free hand resting on Brynjolfs warm, sweaty and slightly hairy chest. I fiddled with the hairs myself as we snuggled. He got a blanket and covered us with it. But we were relaxed and just...ourselves. Bryn was back to his old self, and rather proud. He should be.

As we laid there, nestled with one another, I personally had the feeling that things were going to be alright from now on. I still had a journey to pull, but at least I no longer had the need to not care if I died after accomplishing the endgame the Gods made for me. I wanted to live on, for Bryn's sake and my own. I didn't want to leave Brynjolf all cold and alone. Now that would be selfish of me if I didn't adhere to that. But we could be casual. Fears aside...

You know what, I also had the belief that it was going to get even better for us both. I wasn't expecting anything perfect but you make do with what you have and make the best of it while it lasts. But our hearts were stronger together and we covered each others weaknesses very well. We would need it in the coming battles.

But, until then, we embraced one another, and ended up chatting about Gods' know what until we decided to finally fall asleep.

"Hey Bryn?" I spoke, breaking the silence.

"Mmm?" He replied.

I began making circles on his chest. Other topics darted on my mind in relation to what we had just done and discovered about each other. I also got funny images in my head about what we could do next.

"I think, now we've got ourselves sorted, that we should get Delvin and Vex together...what do you think?"

Brynjolf rose an eyebrow. Probably not what he was expecting at all.

"Are you mad? Vex would beat Delvin's head in if he so much as touches her."

I snorted. Yeah he was right, but why the heck not?

"Come on...Vex needs a man or someone to ease her tension...yes she can definitely handle herself quite well, I am not doubting her abilities..."

Brynjolf gave me this one expression as if asking if I was serious.

"So you're saying Vex needs to get laid?"

I nodded, grinning, then burst into laughter.

"Yeah! Everyone knows Delvin has the hots for her! I just think she needs to give him a chance."

The rogue just shook his head.

"Petra, how are we going to do this anyway? Don't we have bigger fish to fry?"

I shrugged. I failed to care.

"We'll manage. I think...I know a guy in Markarth who writes brilliant poetry. We could pay him to write one for Vex, saying it's from Delvin." I suggested, obviously not being serious.

He just face palmed.

"Vex only cares for Gold. I don't think poetry is her thing. Besides, I think Delvin has made many attempts to woo her to no avail. It's not our business anyway!"

I crossed my arms and laid on my back.

"Gah...you're no fun..." I complained lightly.

Brynjolf couldn't help but smile. He rolled me back on his chest and kissed me.

"I'm only fun with you lass..." He said, being playful.

I started giggling as he tickled me.

Thankfully I tickled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties with a few things. Lunds Hut doesn't have a stables, but I felt sorry for the horses being left out in the rain.


	41. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our rogue heroes head to Ivarstead to begin their journey to see the Greybeards. But Brynjolf sees Petra not taking things seriously...

I almost couldn't believe it.

The way she kissed me that first time. The glint in her pretty light blues and the softness of her lips. I had to do a quick take to make sure I wasn't dreaming. That face of hers just lit up up around me. The lass had no fear of showing me her raw self, much to my surprise, the way my heart just...nearly exploded with the smooth brushes on me. How in her mind she immediately realized it and took immediate control.

I was the true coward there, too scared, fearful of hurting her and maybe myself. But she made so many reasons for me to just let me...to return the comforts I gave her. I didn't think I even deserved it. But what she did, erased all doubt.

She took me in...literally. Uh...yeah...The way she ran the show like that. We connected perfectly and more. The touch of her skin, the taste of mouth. Just...perfect. We went on levels and surpassed the highest ones. We loved one another and I was made a into a new man because of it. I said a new man...not that I became a man because of it.

Our hearts bled for one another, I think. My own almost jumped out of my chest otherwise. I...liked her touching me, you know. That way I knew she was still there with me. I guess I am grateful for that at least. As soon as she made the suggestion I was back into that state of disbelief again.

She was forceful, but in a good way.

As soon as I touched a sore spot, her face changed. I flashed back to Irkngthand and the way that Mercer stabbed her, her face still stern and angry but riddled with blood. It was still fresh and that every time she said she'd be fine it just came rolling back again. I didn't want to hurt her. I never wanted to.

But she refused to place fault. It was no ones fault but Mercers. But Petra, strong and true, had no hesitation within her. She knew what she was doing and I had to take confidence in that. But you know I had to worry. For her sake.

Yeah it was also my first time. And it was totally worth it. I'd made love to the most beautiful woman in Skyrim. Nocturnal really does favour us after all. Sorry, little joke there. I would always want more. I could go on but...I. Everything about it just fitted so well, so right and we balanced ourselves well enough to see each other in the heavens we claimed for our own. She brought me there willingly, with each sketch of the surface I found on her own body told their own story. A story only I was allowed to read and left wondering how each of them got there.

But she was right, she was there and now, in front of me, safe and warm in our embrace. No one could hurt her. I protected her. Always. I unleashed myself, so to speak, as we..uhh, made our rendezvous. And we both enjoyed what we gave one another. It was, special. Better than what you'd read in those trashy books anyway. I wasn't ignorant, just...inexperienced. I'd already been given the talk by my father long ago. Just never had the chance to enact.

I had too much to thank Petra for, but she was insistent that she owed me a lot. No. Never. I would have never done anything if I expected something in return. I was better than that. This girl was just a soul needed to be rescued, when it turned out mine was rescued instead. Ironic.

I failed with saving my own mother, and all I could do was ensure nothing like that ever happened again. She was like my mother you know. Except less mental, but even then I wondered. But Petra was much stronger and she helped me succeed where I failed. And I was happy with that, as I learned from my mistakes...with mother...with Mercer. If anything else, she reminded me of the woman from the Guild I met when I was a boy, offering advice and salvation from a bad place. Petra did the same thing as she. Maybe that's why I fell in love with her and why I joined the Guild to begin with...gah doesn't matter now.

So many things had gone wrong and I just wanted to be right with Petra so badly. And as I held her in my arms that morning, the worst had passed. We had a long road to go, but it was much clearer without the tension gnawing at our heads, wondering what the other would do if the time came. But we no longer held worry over what we felt about one another. We can prove that now.

* * *

I looked at her peaceful face. Relaxed over me with the cutest smile on her. I kissed her on the forehead, when I heard her sigh contently. She then stretched her arms out and yawned, opening her eyes.

"Morning." She muttered

I grinned.

"Morning lass." I replied.

She reached over to kiss me, slowly, and surely. Shor, I just liked kissing her. And I wanted kiss all over her cute little petite body.

"Sleep well?" She asked me.

I nodded.

"Aye, thanks to you."

Red just sweltered all over her face. She had these interesting eyes when she did that. Reminds me of kittens. Kittens, not Khajiit. Real cats. I couldn't help but pat her.

* * *

While we could lay there all day entangled in each other, we had other things to do. Our armour, well, our pants and and main body armour were a mess on the floor. We quickly got dressed, grabbed our gear and went out, as well as Petra putting her hair back up into a ponytail. The sky was much clearer but the ground was still boggy from the rain. No matter. At least we could see. We got on our horses, and finally made our way to Ivarstead, the bottom of the great journey. The day could never be better. Except for the odd wolf that came by that Petra had fun shooting arrows at. But the world just...felt better. Strangely. I could be poetic about it, but that would take me all day. I had a refreshed perspective on things. As we trotted horses alongside each other, thoughts of last night kept coming back to me and it wasn't until Petra threw something at me, that I realised I had a goofy look on my face.

"Hey! I said...look up there boggle-head. That's where we need to go!"

She pointed towards the Throat of the World. From where we were, out in the tundras of Whiterun Hold, the mountain just looked so intimidating. I've heard so many stories, so many tales of what the so called 'Greybeards'. All just some nonsense I brushed off. But you know that day I heard something akin to thunder, but sounded like the sky was shouting. Couldn't understand it then, but now it just makes more sense.

"Gonna be one heck of a trip up there lass. You're still sure about this?" I queried, ensuring she was still ready for the tasks ahead of her.

But she just gave a positively, radiant smile.

"I'm sure as I can be Bryn, just want to know what it means to be Dragonborn, you know?"

To mean something to the world is a rarity in itself. Many would call out on the heroes of old. Tiber Septim, the Nerevarine, the Hero of Kvatch...those written down in history as something the Gods created themselves and in Septims case, became a God.

Before my father and my mother met, my father was once a Priest of Talos. On came the White-Gold Concordat, he became a recluse. He then met my mother and that was that. Thats when he started to focus on Dwemer ruins and it then became a new obsession. Though mother had a lot of problems in her life. Father thought it was because they had abandoned Talos that we were being cursed. I tell you I'm not religious because I absolutely hate it. I lost my faith as my father succumbed to darkness in his own heart after my mother died. He wanted me to pick up my blade or at least became a hard enough lad to breach the treaty itself, and made me pick my prayers to the God of Man. He made me practice a lot and I couldn't stand it.

Don't know where my old man is and I don't care. I think mother was the only good thing in his life and when she passed away he didn't see me as a son anymore, but more as a tool for vengeance. He stated that as a priest, that I should stay away from the temptation of women. You know my sheer hatred compelled me to run away and disobey, but I couldn't do that to him. Joining the Guild was the best thing that ever happened to me and anyone who asked me about my past; I just made up my own stories. They didn't really need to know. I kept the dwarven sword as reminder of who my father once was.

My mothers illness. She was a strange one, even when I was a boy. She kept seeing things that weren't there, or said things that weren't true until they happened in the nearby future. She was eventually correct in her accusations of people. But it was always too late.

Maybe my father blamed me, said she was like this after I was born. I think, my mother became what she was because she saw something she wasn't supposed to see. I do know that, when they went out to go on some expedition to a Dwarven Ruin, that neither of them came back the same. I didn't think much of it but now I was interested somewhat. But the lass needed my help more...this sort of adventure thing just sparked my memory of it.

"I know what you mean..." I asked, feeling the need to feel a humorous atmosphere.

She looked at me, puzzled.

"You do?"

I tried my best to look serious.

"Aye, you are born to be a dragon in bed..."

The look of the anger in her face was just...funny. She screeched me but her face went so red...

"Brynjolf! You...gaahhh!"

I laughed as she tried chasing me, intent with hitting me with her arrows. I charged Lucky forward as fast as we could. I didn't mean she wanted to hit me with one, but rather force me to stop so she could punch me in the stomach.

* * *

The chase got us to Ivarstead quicker than expected, dashing across the paths passed Whiterun, and around up the mountain side. Steeper than I remembered. But we managed to get there by sun down.

I watched as Petra looked up high on the mountain itself. I could tell she was nervous. She'll be fine, just needs a little, pick me up as all. We put left our horses outside of town and looked at our options as we entered the nearby inn.

The locals, were not exactly...welcoming. Some of them just told us to leave, without so much as a hello to welcome us to their town. We took a seat, drinking some mead on the side. We planned to hang around, but as it was sunset (already) and both of us were kind of tired from our trip, we stayed the night and hired a room for ourselves and planned to head off there tomorrow morning.

According to one of the locals here, the steps can take their toll and if the trip doesn't tire you out, the creatures up there might.

"I think most people who come here are the ones who usually take the trip up the 7,000 steps." Petra told me.

I nodded. The wealth of knowledge I had came pouring back, and I tried hard to suppress it.

"Must be quite the trip. I just don't see what's so spiritually appealing about it though." I told her.

She just chuckled.

"Are you not a nord?" She joked.

I sighed.

"That's not what I meant...I mean, don't the Greybeards only take in the worthy or something?"

She nudged me and smirked.

"It's a form of enlightenment for the pilgrims. Some meditate on the plaques as part of the journeys."

This reminded me too much of my father. I...am partly glad I knew, as per tradition. Mostly. Father would tell me a lot about the Greybeards and their apparent Way of the Voice. He even contemplated at one point, before throwing his mercy with his dwemer crap, going up to High Hrothgar and become one of their acolytes and to study the ways for himself. That's what he told me anyway. I always felt like I was responsible for everything that went wrong in his life.

I don't know, but my Mother once told me, in one of her sane phases, that things happen for a reason and that sooner or later, I'd have to accept that. I didn't want to. I was angry. And looking at Petra and all the horrible circumstances she'd been through, I felt I needed to rage against the Gods for making her go through it all.

She looked pretty happy now, but what's to say thats going to change in the next day or two? She's pretty excited regarding following the path of Dragonborn. I aim to make her as happy as I can and I refuse to give up on that. That was one of old tenets that I'll stick by as much as I possibly can. I made that promise to her, that, as cold as the snow may be, as hot as the fire may burn, that I will prevail through. What ever that tripe meant.

Mother meant well, but she was often all about nonsense of course. But I loved her all the same, despite her hardships. When she died, it got me. Father mentioned she passed away in her sleep, but I knew better...either her illness she passed for, or Father had enough of her incessant rambling and killed her himself.

I wasn't sure what to believe, but...I couldn't stand to be with him after that. I was in Riften with him once, speaking with one of the Priests there. He'd hoped I'd stick around to learn a lot. This was getting harder to withstand, as I wandered around the city, and bumped into a grumpy man by the name of Mercer, as he was trying to pickpocket some Dark Elf Woman. For what ever reason, while he was, not entirely happy that I happened to bump into him, I questioned, myself naïve at the time, what he was doing. He claimed to be doing a service for his group and needed to get a necklace for a client. He stated, you want to make some coin? Help me out.

I didn't care what father would think. I found it exhilarating. Mercer told me to be careful in my tracks and make sure that I didn't get caught. And for Gods sake, don't let anyone see me. I gave it a try. Breaking the law was, I guess, a part of rebellion on my end. I followed the dunmer around for a few hours, getting impatient, but, part of my mothers words told me not to give up at all. And it worked in the end, getting my first steal. And the way my blood rushed through my head as I snuck around Riften, the thrill of the risk of getting caught. Amazing. So there, my first taste of thieving.

Mercer invited me to the Guild, seeing my potential as a thief. He gave me the same speech he gave to Petra when she first came to meet him in the cistern that fateful day. How history stands with Karliah in charge now is anyones guess. Maybe make some new traditions.

But either way, as Petra and I relaxed and ate and drank, she got up and spoke with the female bard and requested an upbeat song, something that the bards never sing or if she had anything special to play that was worth dancing to. The bard was hesitant, but Petra, ever sneaky, slipped a few coins into her cleavage of all places, making the bard blush. Definitely a turn on, I'll tell you. The bard pulled out her lute, and strummed the strings with a unique playing style.

She came back to me with the biggest, most devious expression and pulled me up to my feet as the song came on. We pressed our chests together. Oh no...lass...don't make me dance please.

I _hated_  dancing.

I grumbled and forced a smile as she took me and just moved her legs and arms in ways, well, I suppose it was something that I could join into.

Next thing you knew, the whole damned tavern joined in. Petra just had this huge burst of energy from within her, unexpectedly. You wouldn't have imagined her doing this a few months back. She usually hates people.

But she just wanted to enjoy life as it would be and it warmed me to see her that way. I really didn't want to dance, but I did anyway. It brought a smile to lasses face. It brought the laughter back from last night, the way we had fun together. And Shor forgive me just getting a little...uhhh you know, encouraged by it.

* * *

After that little joyous evening we had with pretty much a bulk of the townsfolk, we were drained. Petra and I went to bed, though I think she was just a bit frisky as I laid down on my side and she came up from behind me, with dragging her hand down my pants and just ended up grabbing me.

I had to bite my tongue, then turn my head to her.

"Oooff....what is  _with_  you?" I asked, obviously it would be nice but she's just on edge. Not to mention she's had a few.

"Oh come on Bryn, let me work my magic..." She giggled.

I rolled my eyes.

"You know you're just gonna end up making a mess." I told her. She just choked from laughter. She was really in the mood still, even after what we did last night. I would be a fool to ignore it.

"Just think it as one of my...massages." She said that in a posh accent.

I smirked and lick my lips as she achingly stroked up and down at agonizingly slow pace, a pain striking down me like lighting.

"Yes...Petra...how much for this one?" I joked.

She ended up hitting me on the head with her spare hand.

"I never charge my favourite customer...but I will punish you for bad behaviour if you're not...careful..."

I just had this devious thought in my mind...but her strokes...I subconsciously made shifting thrusts in her hand, ever so slight that I felt something sprinkle out of my tip.

"Punish me for being bad? Oh, lass...you don't know it...I'm  _all_  bad..."

She made a silent giggle and bit her lip. Just...so... _hot_...

But she was doing everything for me and nothing for herself. I was going to charge her for just touching me. I took her wrist and threw it off me, to her surprise. In just a few swift, hurried and eager motions, we'd thrown off our armour. I pushed myself up as she sat on me, and forcing her lips on mine as we were both hungry for the others tongues.

We'd shifted the few pillows behind me to make a tad more comfortable as I had my back leaning against the bed head and back wall. We had to be careful. The door may have been closed, and the wooden walls thick, but I feared alarming everyone else. But the sneakiness...like the first time I did a job for a Mercer, was thrilling and just filled me with the same eagerness Petra had. We made it our own little game to get through this as silently as we possibly could. Needed more experience if you could call it that.

Nocturnal, guide us...the speciality of her taking her hair out...the hunt was on.

I wrapped my arms around her as her legs went behind my back to gain balance. I watched her briefly as she...fell onto me, feeling her clasp and the moist friction as I entered her. By Talos...

We made it that every time the other was about to moan, that we made sure we moaned into each others mouths. Didn't stop the cut off noises from the breathing from our noses though.

" _Brynmmmmm._.." She cried, luckily making it towards me, the vibrations from her throat were filling me greatly.

Again we started off slow as she moved up and down me. Again with the agonisingly soft, slippery and just...too... _Oh Gods_...Petra...so... _wet_...she was planning this no doubt.

We lathered each others kissed as our tongues fought one another, the kisses themselves hard and forced. Her hands snaked around my chest for the moment as the strains from my thrusts and her bopping up and down. Each time any of her finger touch my chest I twitched and shots of pleasure through down to my tip. Careful... _Careful._..

 _Hnnnggg_... _Petra_...

I snatched her body and forced my face between her breasts and just felt them as I moved my heaad about. I think she caught her self trying to laugh and ended up biting her lip instead. My beard must have been tickling her. I was winning this battle so far.

She let out a snort, to which I gave her wicked smile before slapping my mouth on hers agains, hot with our desire for one another.

I surprised her by giving her a mighty big thrust, forcing her to jump and almost squeal, but she caught herself in time and bit her lip. She hated it...I loved it. I loved every moment she got irritated. What ever she originally had planned was now ruined and I was in the one in control now.

"Oh...Bryn...you...you...read headed  _bastardddd_... _hngg_..." She whispered haggardly.

I helped her as I kissed her again, a very blaring moan entering my mouth. I felt her grip tighten around me, my...self aching for release. But from where I was, I could see everything of her. Her perfect face, her eyes of cascade, her hair of near-bronze that danced around in the sparkle of the candlelight, that little nose of hers...that...slick neck of hers that begged me to slather my tongue all around it, her cute collarbones...her effectively structured breasts, her decorated stomach, that...little part of her, red and swollen as it clamped on me, allowing me to go inside of her and that little patch of hair.

I watched her muscles move around with each time she utilised her body as it went up and down. My own fingers went down her back, touching the curves of her sweet, supple ass.

She popped, sort of as I dug my hands into them, feeling the strength. There is sufficient muscle down there you know. She grabbed hold of the rails of the bed head behind me as she slowed down to a halt, much to my dismay. I was more aroused than fearful as to what she was about to do.

She then started pulling herself against me again, but the pace eventually quickened to a point where I couldn't stand it it myself. What trickery was...this... _hngggg_...

She pressed her mouth against mine this time as I grunted, enveloping her body with my vocalisation.

Oh that was  _it_.

I pushed her off me and placed her back on the bed on her back and looked at her with the piercing eyes. She was surprised, but that smirk on her face quite enjoyed what I just did then. I pressed my hand beside her and grabbed her leg, stretching it up as I wanted more access to her.

"This...this what you want...you...little daedra... _gahhh_.." I muttered with playful anger.

She got up, her hands heading back to where they were and put her lips to my ear.

"Take...take me against the wall...do it Bryn... _do it._.." She whispered to me.

I gave another little smirk as I sat back, practically on fire with this irreplaceable lust. I grabbed hold of her as it got off the bed. She jumped on me and caught her, with her folding her legs into my back. We took in each others tongues again I walked and pressed her back up against the wall.

I just realised in our frenzied haste that Petra did this deliberately as a challenge. Not to make noise...

Damn it..

I made steady thrusts, sliding her up and down. Some times she lost her own grip to the weakness of it, her fingers fumbling around my neck excessively. I felt her clutch tighten, so she must have been close.

I too, felt the tension rising to it's peak. I wanted this so badly I thrust harder and faster into her. We kissed again to... _ughhhhh._...gaahhaaaa...

Like before, our sweaty, strained and torn bodies slathered, stretched and scrunched as I kept pusihing her against the wall repeatedly. And we both loved every minute of it. My thrusts quickened. I was so...desperate and eager to let it all go. Come on Brynjolf, go...

Our mouths refused to part as our groans just got too hard to contain. Ahh...Petra...

" _Brynmmmmm..._ "

With the one last...thrust I held there yet again I felt the sweet and bitter taste of release, letting the last shout of hot air into one another, our entire selves shaking as our bodies were filled with the inevidble fount of pleasure and pain as I came into her. Her body thrashed about, as she made the final clasp around me, digging her fingers into me so hard but I couldn't feel it amongst the flood destroying all of my nerves. We finished with each others mouth, but tried to make the panting to it's absolute minimum...as much as we could, to stare into each others faces, hers glowing with its utmost shines, eyes glistening and mouth gasping for air as I was left throbbing. I pressed my head against the wall, trying to make sense of myself again, the need for air overwhelming me. We looked at one another and smiled again.

I wondered if we succeeded in our little game. I picked her up, despite my nerves being shot and dropped her on the bed. I hopped back into bed with her and embraced one another.

* * *

"Hey...Bryn?" She whispered, so out of breath. I looked at her, and pulled her hair behind her ears.

" _mmmm_?" I replied, feeling the afterthought haze. She definitely had that luminescence to her. By Shor, that's the first time I've ever had to use that word.

"Do you think anyone...anyone  _heard_  us?"

I chuckled.

"Don't know...let's see if they say anything in the morning?" I suggested.

She just giggled and grinned, then bit her lip.

"Alright. Let's just say...if they heard you, I win...and if they heard me...you win...deal?"

Ah Petra, this side of you will never bore me. 

"What's the prize then lass?" I asked seductively.

She licked her lips and looked away in thought.

"Hm...ahah...I win, you have to...help me get Vex and Delvin together."

Oh Shor, not this crap again. I didn't know what the appeal was in paring those two together and I certainly wasn't getting involved.

"We'll throw a party in the Flagon one day. There's this game we played back in Cyrodiil, the Imperial boys taught me. It's fun as believe me."

Imperial boys. That's probably the worst part. I sighed and listened in.

"Alright, tell me about this game."

She started to giggle before she even started. Seriously?

"Sorry, well, basically you all stand or sit in a circle, obviously when and after you've been drinking. Or else you won't be stupid enough to try it. Anyway, one person stands away from the circle while the circle decides where a certain item will be hiding. Simple right?"

No...I didn't expect it to be. She snickered.

"Right, so you get this item. Can be...jewellery, coin...a feather? What ever's small and pretty easy to hide. So...the group agrees for the chosen, who's called, thief! Of course. Now,...heh...the thief, him, or her has to tuck the item underneath their clothes. Can be anywhere, in your pants, shirt...bra, underwear. So...the person who has stood away becomes the City Guard and has to determine who the Thief is. The City Guard has permission to do a full body search, but only to three suspects. If he fails, then the real culprit has to stand up."

My eyes widened. Was this what the Imperials got up to in their spare time? It had more bizarre implications. But definitely not something a Nord would do at all.

"Yeah sounds fun...aye...but you try this with the Guild...you're gonna end up having arms, hands and Gods know what chopped off." I warned her. Such a stupid game.

She just shook her head.

"Well, you have to have willing participation, which is why you need to drink a bit to get into it. Obviously if you feel far too uncomfortable with it you just let the person know. Sometimes some got too far, but you can intervene if you can see the other person is unsure. Unlike Nords who prefer you get over it." She continued, with that last part an obvious tease.

I blinked.

"I don't think any true Nord would be willing to try. I mean, touching someone up is bound to have issues." I noted.

Petra rolled her eyes.

"It's all in good fun. And for a good laugh. All we have to do, is get Vex and Delvin to play." She stated.

I face palmed.

"That is not going to work...I really doubt you'll get them to even consider. Delvin maybe, but..." I said, thinking about poor Vex and her usual antagonistic behavior.

She smirked. I swear she's too persistent sometimes.

"We'll manage. I think we just need to make sure we're all comfortable with one another. If they were really adverse to it, they'd say it outright. But, I bet fifty septims that she'll ponder it and say no, then want to get into the action."

Petra...have you actually had one too many meads tonight? Is that what this is lass?

"How do you even know?" I questioned her logic.

She tapped her nose.

"You'll see."

I rolled my eyes and laid my head on my pillow and pulled the sheets up over us. I then remembered the deal between us.

"Alright, then I'll consider that. So...if I win...hmm..."

I tried to think what would be a good prize if I won this. It was hard to pick. I was tempted for a wake up morning screw, but that wouldn't have been reasonable enough for a prize like this.

Think Brynjolf, think...I'd wondered if pickpocketing Maven Black-Briar was a good idea. Hah...just kidding.

I turned to her with a smirk.

"I dare you...to make out with Vex." I joked...image in my mind was brilliant. Instead I got punched in the shoulder.

"Brynjolf! That's deplorable...and super low of you." She scolded me.

I shrugged to my defense. "It's no worse than that stupid game of yours."

I saw her eyes roll back into her head.

"I was joking...but you can if you want to...and survive your head getting cut off."

I got punched again. I deserved that.

"Yes Vex is an attractive woman, I can agree with that but no...be serious...come on...decide!" She hurried me.

Quiet lass! Let me think. I did have something in mind. Definitely something she'd be able to handle.

"Alright then. So, you've proven yourself a Master Thief many times over. But...if you have the courage, can you...steal the club of a giant?"

She rose an eyebrow. She didn't expect that.

"What? That's...what?" She stuttered, mulling the words in her head.

I chuckled.

"Yeah. You gotta do it lass. And then, you have to drag the club away from the camp and try selling it to a Khajiit Caravan. It'd be a worth a fortune!" I said. I wasn't being as imaginative as she was but it was the only thing I could come up with.

She looked at me apathetically.

"And here you were, worrying about me and suddenly you want me to get killed by a giant?" She scolded.

I brought her head in close as I kissed her.

"I'll supervise. Keep an eye on you. You are a powerful Archer so you can start firing away just in case he ends up getting too close." I said as I rubbed up and down her arms, then down the curved side of her body.

"Use your swift abilities of a Nightingale lass. There's no way that you'll fail."

She grumbled. Ahh annoyed Petra is a funny Petra. Cute too.

"Fine...have it your way...but what if we have a tie?" She queried.

I had to think about that too. Even if she started it.

"Well, let's say we both succeeded. We don't have to do anything we don't want to. We'll leave things as is and be on our merry way. And we both failed, then obviously we both have to do it."

She looked at me and smiled.

"Deal."

Darker clouds were looming over head. But Petra was right...who's to say that we couldn't have some fun along the way? I warmed to the idea eventually, although Petra's game of Thief might just get a tad personal for some, even she so desperately wanted Vex and Delvin together. Most people would leave well enough alone. But Petra wasn't most people.

As far as we stood, the road seemed long and uncertain and we seized what ever happy moments we could find. Whether it was with each other or other people. Petra dancing with other people was something I'd never expect. She either likes most people now or was just pretending to make me happy. I'm inclined to agree with the latter, but it could be legitimate as well.

* * *

I was outside looking up at the night sky as the auroras paraded across in the midst of their bejewelled beauty. Not unusual. It was a sight to see indeed. I was with Petra at the top of some mountain as she was clad in some weird, heavy armour. We ran around in the dark, dank depths of a ancient nordic crypt, shanking Draugr before heading into some cavern we'd never seen before. On a request that I can hardly remember taking, but it involved with us taking some kind of magical construct down.

Not unusual if we held the need to explore. Found jewels and other things as we killed a few more Draugr before ending up in the main chamber. They usually had the most important people here, sealed in their crypt, awaiting for it to pop out once we got near. Petra had her bow reading and I had my sword ready. She went closer at a steady pace. I watched her and looked around.

I looked up top as I saw a pot of fire from the roof.

"Petra!" I yelled and ran towards her. I felt pushed back as I hit some sort of invisible barrier. I looked down to see the orange oil covering the whole cavern. I was stuck and protected by the barrier itself. Everything became a blur as something popped out of the coffin. The pot fell and broke onto the oil, sending the entire room in a type of horrifying hellfire. I heard laughter echo around me as Petra tried to escape, but her...her body...turned into a black ash and soon dissipated.

"PETRA!" I cried out...no...Petra! Come back!

I saw a dark ghostly figure approach me. It had no shape or any form, other than deathly silver glowing eyes that just stared at me.

"Awaken..." It whispered to me.

"Awaken the spirit!"

The barrier around me fell, as the fires surrounded me. I screamed as I burned up. No...no.

**PETRA!**

* * *

I shot up in a cold sweat and out of breath. I pressed my hand on my chest, still naked and unburnt. My eyes needed to adjust for the darkness. The air was colder than what I could recall.

I looked down as Petra laid beside me, asleep with her face full of content.

I ran my hand through my hair after willing my heartbeat down.

It was just a bad dream.

I laid back, with my hand still on my chest and caressed Petra, to make sure she was still there with me. Her little face. The way she had changed so much since I met her and it was...indescribable. I let her have this. This was her time and she could do what she wanted. But she was compelled to follow the path set for her. I still believe she can still do it. She just needed time and more encounters with dragons to help her to find the courage within her own heart. Unlike me. I could imagine her having sweet dreams, judging from the slight smile on her face.

Nightmares once in a while were normal but this one just seemed...familiar. Like...it was sending me a message or something. There wasn't any real reason for me to think it was real...but black demons words disturbed me greatly.

I shouldn't let it worry me. I'm stronger than that.

Thank you Petra...I needed you more than I realised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petra you know how stupid all of your games sound...


	42. High Hrothgar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra finally visits the Greybeards, though many thoughts still roam her mind.

 

What a nice night.

I suppose over the past few nights I was glad to see Brynjolf happier than he'd ever been. Part of me feels a bit guilty of taking him away from the Guild but he hasn't said anything. I did what I did because I felt I owed him that much for his efforts and that I know most guys would be glad to have some kind of recompense. But my own feelings were mixed and in constant turmoil. I do love him, but this...why does it feel so strange, like walking on a new land? I thought screwing him would have been much more simple to get across, to get rid of the tension for both of us but now its become this muddled mess?

What is this?

Rather than dwell on the unspoken burn, I aimed my sights to just trying to feel comfortable. I should be. He should be. I mean, well...is he? I don't know. This isn't like it once was. It's...quite scary actually. I think I understood his mindset after a few drinks, where my mind went deep into the dirtiest territory where I listened to my loins more than my head.

Sometimes I'd sit on the bed at the Cistern when everyone else was asleep, looking at my hands as they shook. I did that again at the Hut while he was resting. I thought that would go away, but it didn't. I can't tell the difference between what was gnawing at me more. Dragons? Brynjolf? Myself? But I can't deny when he's awake, I can be me. Me that's not angry with the world, me before all the dragon nonsense and its tendency to make me this weak pathetic bitch. I couldn't afford to think like that anymore. I was ready to get myself better. I had to, for the worlds sake...for my sake...for Brynjolf's sake.

I woke up feeling refreshed and gleaming. I felt Bryn's arm draped over me, holding me close. I smiled and gave him a light peck on the lips. He shuffled a bit, bringing me closer. I cleared the hair off his face. He let off a huge sigh, air escaping his nostrils. I just, looked at him while he slept. He had a minor scowl, but otherwise looked peaceful. I rubbed my face on his, drawing circles on his cheeks, and his forehead with my nose, feeling his beard. He shifted again as he blindly tried to find my mouth, his face softening. I grinned as I guided myself to his lips again. I could feel his tongue on my own lips as we gave into one long kiss.

We parted slowly, with Brynjolf batting his eyes lids, and forced himself awake.

I put my own arm around him and drew on his back with my fingertips.

"Sleep well?" I asked him.

He chuckled softly.

"I always sleep well with you." He mumbled to me.

Temptation, temptation, temptation, but alas, we must resist...

We kissed again before getting out of bed and got ourselves dressed as I put my hair into, a somewhat clean ponytail again. After we got ourselves organized, I caught Bryn about to hold the handle on the door. I wanted to remind him.

"Ahh...Brynjolf...remember our little deal?" I told him with such deviousness as I gathered my weapons from the drawers nearby.

He rolled his eyes and huffed at me.

"I won't."

* * *

As we wandered past the bar bench, we checked out surroundings. No one really around, except the Innkeeper brushing the floor. I was a little disappointed, I was trying hard enough to get him to make noise.

We headed outside. I think Brynjolf was more relieved than I was. It was a damn shame. Maybe I would have to try again. But the skies were clear and the sun bearing down on us with it's holy warmth. We walked down the path towards the bridge to the bottom of the mountain. We encountered a man named Klimmek, who was pretty much complaining about making a trip up to the mountain. He was gonna bring food up to the Greybeards but was shattered that he couldn't.

Next thing you know, the both of us were hiking up the mountain ourselves. Brynjolf complained he smelled like fresh meat. I told him to shut up and get over it. Maybe we could get ourselves good with the delivery like that. You know, first impressions as all. We came across a few pilgrims sitting at etched plaques, meditating. We failed to see any once we came up from fresh tundra, to the first patches of snow. The air got cooler, notably and none of the plaques up here had anyone basking in their apparent glory.

But I soon felt what Klimmek was winging about. The constant climbs. I bared it like I a Nord should. The wintry conditions soon made it rather treacherous as a few times I caught myself slipping, but mostly out of Brynjolfs eyes, though I did yelp, forcing him to look back and keep an eye on me. Just keep walking...nothing to see here.

I took down a few wolves along the way, obviously hungry. Ice Wraiths too, no problem.

I understand how Brynjolf didn't seem to take it all the air and essence and the symbolism that the long walks. I'd say it belonged on the lines of, lifting our spirits higher or, reaching a new sense of accomplishment. I already was nearly on top of the world, not exactly, but when you stop and stare at the view before you, it was amazing. No, I wasn't talking about Brynjolf.

Seriously though, you could see nearly Skyrim in its near entirety. There was a slight haze but from here you can see Dragonsreach in Whiterun, Windhelm...my lungs were overflowing with excitement. The wind was brisk as we continued our climb, to the next part of my journey.

Brynjolf brought out his blade as we heard a Frost Troll nearby. I whipped out my bow and started firing at it, distracting it so Bryn could take it down. I keep forgetting how much of a combatant he was, but as a Thief, you often prefer to get away from the fighting.

Besides the freezing draught, the lack of noise was booming, ironically. We were gone from the civilization of man and animal and were in a zone for ourselves. It fascinated me how isolated we were, and from the depths of my spirit I was free from the troubles below. Like I was whisked away to the clouds, shielded from the pain and misery of the world.

It was pleasant and forthcoming but I knew this was just the definite eye in the storm, that hardly got caught up in the messiest of matters, only the tame and willing would ever dare venture up the path. From what my parents told me, visiting the Greybeards was a great honour and that should I visit there one day, that I should write back to my father and tell him the beauty and strength of within it's walls. It's like, they somehow knew what was going to happen. I hope they were proud of me.

Hmm...I suppose I should cut out the path of being a thief. I suppose I should tell him a more altered truth that I worked for a group that specialized retrieval of items...no, that would be too obvious. Let's just say that I was under the employ of a merchant. That would satiate him enough, t let him know I was alive. Don't know how he'd react to me being Dragonborn though.

Knowing what has progressed and what obstacles I have gone through was a huge eye opener. My spirit has been broken and torn but healed but not without scars. I have a lot to learn I'd admit, but now, anything before this often included me having no other choice. But fate would tell me I was born to choose whether to find myself or just not do anything.

As a young girl I know farm life wasn't all that interesting. Like I've said previously, friend, I only did what I was told to and I gave it with what I had. Same with the Guild, I followed orders and I've been alive. But for the first time in my life it was me calling the shots. I held in my hands to brisk notion of action, to take hold of everything that was not just set out for me, but to venture into the unknown without a sense of knowing what I was going to do.

But no one was making me do this. They can only gie advice but in the end, it's got to end with swords clashing and fire breathing...just something mystical and powerful.

* * *

So the summit had been reached, as we saw the large stone monastery before us, overbearing as a impeding relic, sitting upon the edge of the mountainside. I took a deep breath, as I heard Bryn stand beside me and hold my hand for the moment, squeezing it.

"Ready when you are lass." He told me, offering his confidence to me.

I nodded to him.

"I'm ready." I acknowledged.

We let go of one another and approached the doors, as Brynjolf placed the bag of meat in the chest at the bottom of the steps before we went inside.

Within was a quiet, cold sanctuary, lit by candles and sunlight that filtered through stained windows, with stone carvings and other etched décor. It was relatively empty and hollow, but I sensed a humbleness about it, the calling of the spirits that were drawn to it. I swallowed my own saliva, getting incredibly nervous for what ever lay ahead. I was hoping there'd be a lot more people around, then realized how bad a situation that we be up here. I was surprised it wasn't covered in snow from avalanches, caused by their shouting. I better not jinx that...

From all directions four old men in ancient black robes approached us. One of them stepped forward to greet us.

"Welcome to High Hrothgar, home of the Greybeards. Tell me, why have you come?" He stated, his voice sounding like my grandfathers.

I looked at Brynjolf who nodded towards me, encouraging me to step forward.

"I...I heard the summons." I spoke, anxiously, recalling the shout that shook the foundations of the earth as I fled in terror that horrific day.

The old man nodded at me.

"Ahh so a Dragonborn has come, at the coming of the age. You appear to have given such words with great thought, considering the time it has taken you to come to us." He said.

I was very stiff. This place, considered one of the most highly respected, and I was so worried I could say anything to offend. These people were...very powerful. And I couldn't lie to them.

"I admit, that it was cowardly for me to have run away as I did. I apologize for my ignorance, as I am but mere flesh and bone to comprehend the meaning."

Sounding formal was draining. Well, formal as in religiously formal.

He didn't appear to judge me, however.

"Fear not...you have taken the first step, thus far. But let us taste of your voice, to see if you really are Dragonborn." He requested.

Wait what?

I bit my lip. Really old man?

"Uhhh...what? Just...shout at you?" I said with disbelief.

The man smiled at me. I wasn't...sure if this what was what he really meant, but he did.

"It's fine, we can take it. Those trained in the voice are able to withstand it." He replied.

I turned to Bryn. He definitely wasn't.

"Uh...you might...want to stand back." I said, nervous.

He complied as he stood behind me. I looked at the Greybeards as we stood in the middle of the room. I was hesitant, thinking this men fragile in their old age. But, if anyone asks, they wanted me to...

I inhaled deeply.

" _Fus!_ "

I froze as the old men were taking aback slightly, some even stumbled and almost fell over. But they were otherwise fine. Most people would be shot backwards. I was impressed by the vigour of these people. I hope I get that stubborn at that age. But Gods!...I could be protecting them...

The elder spoke came up to me again.

"Then it is you, Dragonborn. Very well. I am Arngeir, I speak for the Greybeards."

I bowed to him as I felt he should be revered. I was eager to learn and to know what it meant to be Dragonborn. Instead, he placed his hand on my head and forced me to stand straight.

"No, it is we who should be bowing to you. You have the inborn ability to learn shouts as the dragons do. Come, we first must test that ability.."

In a bizarre twist of events, the Greybeards taught me an extra word for my Unrelenting Force shout, as it came to be known. I read some kind of rune on the floor and it just came to me you know, then I somehow had the understanding absorbed into me, you know?

He gave us a brief tour and explanation and brief history of the people who trained here. I learned about the Greybeards and how they stayed up here to study the Way of the Voice. They have studied the Voice and practiced shouts all their lives. My understanding was it that, well, from tradition that it was considered a respectful art, but according to Arngeir, needed to be observed and recognised that the voice is not be used for warfare, but for the worship and glory of the Gods. Brynjolf must hate it.

We walked towards one of the hallways and sat on our knees on prayer mats as Arngeir spoke to us. Fascinating how he rolled out his words with such heart filled wisdom, how the goddess, Kynareth, gave mortals to speak as the dragons do, but Akatosh gave me the dragonblood. There had been other Dragonborn before me of course. So my greatest power was to learn shouts automatically. While it would be easy for me to learn them, to understand them is another story all together.

My Dragonborn spirit intertwines with my subconscious, allowing me to just...know these things in my path. As I slew dragons, I absorbed their knowledge as well. It was starting to make sense to me. About my own connections and my spiritual kinship to the great God Talos, and how he first came here to learn the Way.

I was surprised to walking in the Gods footsteps, as the past beginning of a great Empire. Which was what made this Civil War so damned tragic. Brothers with the same blood, fighting for the God of Man's rights to be a God. If that made sense.

Even Brynjolf got into the discussion of how Talos, as Tiber Septim, came to conquer Tamriel and rule over it as it's Emperor and how just does a man ascend to the heavens to become a deity? I never understood that myself.

"While you are a mortal and you age like we do, your inner spirit isn't. Immortal spirits are tied to the fabric of time and as was Talos bound to the laws like you are, you are the Soul Child of Akatosh, like the dragons. Think of them as your, older, much older brothers."

Dear Gods know. I hated sharing myself them to a kin. Thinking like that terrified me and made me feel worse. What kind of sibling would just kill one another and steal their soul? You'd have hate them to the point of seething.

"Aye, she's supposed to kill them though. Wasn't she born to do that?" Brynjolf questioned.

He was definitely right.

"It is in a dragons nature to dominate and claim power over their own. So the nature of their shouts is for their arguing. The one who triumphs will in turn, steal their soul."

Arngeir answered.

What a shitty way to live.

I still felt guilty if I tried to lie to the old man regarding my phobia of the creatures I was destined to kill. I would be incredibly embarrassed and humiliating if I told them. The other Greybeard would laugh at me. I nodded firmly.

"I'm just looking to find out what it means to be Dragonborn." I explained, keen in finding the real answers.

"Each Dragonborn is given to us in times where they are needed. Whether or not that is true, it is up to you to decide on whether you can fulfill your destiny."

I grumbled as I got confused.

"But...you say the Way of the Voice is meant to be worship in the glory of the Gods, not abused. How can...how can I..."

Arngeir looked at me sternly.

"Listen...while the Way is a great path to follow and it would be good for you to abide by it, but Akatosh made you Dovahkiin-Dragonborn for a purpose. You have every right to use it if need be. But, you still must be cautious."

I nodded. That I understood, Cautious...yes.

"Pardon my misunderstanding. Then what I am to do next?" I questioned, hungry for more.

Arngeir smiled.

"We ourselves would be honoured to teach you. But first, while you have proven you have the gift, and the ability to learn, but for us, you require a tool to use for one last test. Follow me."

Arngeir took us outside, alongside the other monks. Seemed like a training yard with a large bonfire in the middle. One of the Greybeards then tried that weird sort of, shouting at the ground to create a word then me seeing I'm like hey! I know this word...and then that tingling sensation as I then felt the understanding of the word. Look, I'm translating this into words we both understand? It's harder than it looks friend!

Turns out it was they taught me how me how to do this epic shout they called the Whirlwind Sprint. A gust of wind just shoots you far. That could be a practical advantage me in the long run.

There are many, many shouts, according to Arngeir, that the dragons utilize daily. The boost their strengths and to cover their weaknesses. I was right, I do have a lot to learn. One of the other Greybeards showed us a demonstration, using the gate nearby to test it.. I think it was just to use a different type of shout. But I definitely saw myself using Whirlwind Sprint in the future. I took a deep breath and psyched myself up. The gates opened.

" _WULD_...WOOOO!"

But when I did use it, it was amazing. You're surrounded by this magical force that just pushes you at high speed. I wanted to get used to it and get over the shock of it. But it was actually kind of fun. I felt this huge grin dawn on my face like a hot sun, unable to prevent that shine of excitement from appearing.

Brynjolf looked at me with crossed arms and a "Oh dear" expression at me.

He stood next to Arngeir as they observed my craziness unfold. I don't care. Let them watch. I'm having the time of my life.

* * *

After exhausting myself and nearly burning my throat out, Arngeir just set me up on some quest, that if I succeed, that I'll be formally recognized as Dragonborn. So, I had to get this Horn, apparently from the Greybeards founder, Jurgen Windcaller from a place known as Ustengrav. The opportunity was enlightening of course, but, it might not be as bad as I make it out to be. Maybe it's my inner nord telling me I was born to do this. I can choose not to do this. But then...Alduin...

All I could think about was Helgen...it stained my memories.  
Brynjolf and I sat inside by the middle of Monastery against the pillar and tried to figure out our next move. But he saw me in my current state, reading my mind from my face.

"I know that look lass..." He told me.

"What's on your mind?"

I fiddled with my fingers. I know...it's inevitable. I just need to...

"I tell myself Brynjolf, that...I have to do this. You know? Being like some sort of Chosen one makes you feel special. But as Dragonborn you already have these expectations weighed down upon you. And I don't want to fail anyone...and only now I realize, that if I fail, the world is doomed. And that's the scariest part."

He put his arm around my shoulders and brought me in close, kissing me on the top of my head.

"Don't pay much mind to their rituals. I think they enjoy it more than you do, so I say let the old men do their thing. But I understand faith is a hard matter for us to get used to.  But seeing your prowess does give, dare I say, people hope."

Bryn always knew what to say during the worst of times.

"Yeah...I guess so."

It's always the harshest reality. You are the peak of adventuring, need to seek out and find and discover things that haven't been found in many an era. And all this...to prepare me?

It's hard to believe that, well, prophecies like this become true and you're stuck in the middle of it. People find it great, but for the centre of it, it's quite alarming. You get all the pressure to succeed and they may or may not care about what you think. I believe the worst of it would be others, that believe in it so badly, that they don't want it to go wrong and will die for you to make sure that everything goes according to plan and bang, the world is saved.

It's not that simple. I don't want people dying for me. I am mortal, like them, I just happen to have a skill and talent they don't. And they are honest, good people and I'm just a rogue undeserving of the love and attention I'm given.

Don't make me question my role as a thief though. I pretty much pick on the rich assholes and stay away from the people I care about. Whether that's me doing the talking there or is it something else?

I haven't started to explore properly yet. Although I've been in Dwemer ruins, killed dragons...and I've been through a whole rainbow of emotions already. Fear, Anger, Love, Lust, Annoyance, Nervous, Happiness...and like a rainbow they go up, then go down.

So it was then we decided to head back down again, and return to Ivarstead.

* * *

We took the long trip down but definitely easier. I wasn't forcing myself this time. We got back to town in the late afternoon and got something to eat at the Inn.

Arngeir had marked the location on our map, so we tried to make our course of action and our path.

I know all the fun is in doing this, entering dangerous locations and risking yourself to do the work. But in the back of my head, I know they do this because...I would be able to handle it eventually. Draugr are fine, I've never had too much issue with them (except the ones who constantly shout, cast spells and conjure frost atronachs in my face...ugh. I just need to lop their heads off)

But the pain of it getting there, makes me think if it's worth it. I am the one to do this yes. I know what Brynjolf once told me, that I was chosen because the Gods predicted what I would do in time and that I would eventually take action.

The fact that I could have chosen not to was irrelevant. They chose me of all people to do it. That I was cast in the shades of time with a task to do and that I will succeed. How though? This had to be the start of it I hoped.

And I then remember Bryn is by my side. I don't think I could do it without him. Talos bless him. I'll say that, I know I wouldn't have dragged him on this if he didn't want to, but...then I wouldn't have uhh...expressed my love for him. Ahem.

It's too soon to say that things were taking shape as they intended to. Who had the ultimate control?

Brynjolf and I sat a table, grumbling how we just Ustengrav wasn't far from Morthal. We were just there!

"Pity we don't have precognition eh lass?" He snarked, taking a bite out of some bread.

I collapsed on the table, head falling and arms spreading.

"That's a big word for you Bryn." I teased.

He shrugged.

"Aye, Arngeir likes filling your head with most...intrinsic words." He said, biting back with more than he could chew.

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay I get your point book boy." I scolded lazily.

He chuckled and continued to bite into his bread, while I decided on my apple.

We heard a few locals heading in, coming in after a hard day. It was getting darker and we'd spent the whole day in High Hrothgar, discovering and finding new things. I guess the challenge was fighting the time we had. I'd prefer if we leave now, but we just needed to get ourselves sorted and properly rested first.

We paid no mind to any of their chatter first. Until..

"Hey, did you hear that strange noise last night?" Asked the Innkeeper, Wilhelm to the bard, Lynly. These names just tend to stick to you when you first know them.

"Sounded like Skeevers." She commented.

"I...don't know. Skeevers don't make thumping sounds like that." Wilhelm pointed out.

Brynjolf and I still had our mouths full as we froze, then looked at one another without moving out heads. Oh...oh no.

"You maybe right. I never heard Skeevers pant like that either. I went downstairs to have a look. I'll have to check the rooms. They either left or they're still in hiding."

Lynly shuddered.

"Do you think...that it was the Ghost from the Barrow again?" She wondered, frightened.

Wilhelm shook his head and cleaned the bench.

"Don't know, the ghost tends to keep to the barrow. Never heard it coming down here though."

Damn it. How did they? I swear we were silent much as we could. Unless...

We were louder than we thought we were. The original intensity was covered by thunder. It's hard to work with silence and echoing walls that hear everything. Who's fault was it? They never specified.

I tried changing the topic quickly as I went to investigate.

"Ghohff...sorry, did you say, a ghost?" I questioned in my haste, as I half chewed down a piece of my apple.

The bard and the Innkeeper looked at me.

"Yes. Shroud Hearth Barrow. Keep away from it if you know what's good for you."

I turned to Brynjolf. I needed an excuse to not stay there the night here any more. And a well hidden place that lacked noise so I could argue with him. Brynjolf just face palmed. Plus! Treasure! Mystery! Experience! Why not?

Thankfully this was more amusing.


	43. Shroud Hearth Barrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf and Petra raid the infamous ruin as Brynjolf recalls his brief conversation with Arngeir.

 

We...debated whether or nor the arguments were towards her or me. We must have argued for a while, but we did come to a conclusion, after she kept insisting that...I uh...was the one who did it. I only agreed to do it if she did her part since I'm sure she squeaked a few times.

So I have to play her stupid game...and she has to kill a giant.

Great.

We fled to cover our hides to investigate the Barrow nearby, a ring like dug out structure, with coffins surrounding it. To what endeavours we use to forget about our predicament, to seek out the source of the haunting. We headed down the set up steps when we went inside. There was a voice calling for us to leave...a disembodied spirit, locking behind a gate. It was your usual dark ancient nord ruin, equipped with traps and so forth. Petra found it a game to find out where the traps were. Always had a keen eye that one.

I'm not too fond of ghosts. I'm not scared of them, they are just horrid creatures. Echoes of an age long gone and many have died in on the onslaught of a ghosts unpredictability. We both summoned our Nightingale armour just in case. There were few Draugr that we both took down with relative ease, not really an issue there. More puzzles, until we came across the spirit itself as it attacked us.

Using common sense, you'd reckon when Petra fired her arrow it'd go straight through it, instead it stuck in its body and screamed in agony. We finally took the poor fool down. It's ethereal effect faded and it was revealed to be live person. Well, was still alive before we killed him.

Petra found the book as it detailed the mad mans pursuit to open one of the nordic puzzle doors nearby and was looking for a Dragon Claw key. According to my father, there were many places sealed with these keys and often you would have to find the key itself to find out the answer.

People back then were either stupid, or clever.

But this man, Wyndelius, was persistent but turned to madness when he couldn't open it.

Poor fool.

But, Petra just took some goods left lying around, of course. She picked up a large blue bottle and read the label

"Philter of the Phantom. Must have been the stuff he used to make himself like this. That's..."

I face palmed. She either found that fascinating or useful. Or both. Or worse.

She turned to me.

"Can we try this one night?..." She asked me, halfheartedly.

My face went red, lucky it was behind the cowl but still. Brynjolf you'd predicted this would happen as well. Of course she'd...

"I'm joking. But...you never know..."

I rolled my eyes as she had that seductive pose. Damnit woman, give me a break.

"Maybe some other time lass. But for now, at least we solved the issue of the haunting." I told her.

She nodded. Who knew solving mysteries could be so...enjoyable? I'm starting to see why a lot people like to adventure so much. It made me feel like a boy again.

"Alright then. But like this idiot, I'm wondering what made him so...keen to find out what's behind the door? I don't remember seeing other doors around here, did you?" She questioned.

I crossed my arms and thought. I didn't really want to, as it would be a waste of time. Though I did sense something larger here myself, even if I didn't know what it was.

We went to find the door itself. We came across something that was like an ebony door. Petra examined it thoroughly. I watched as her eyes went up and down it and pondered for quite some time.

I know she's been through this before. She always does it, having this uncanny insight into things. Although perhaps as a thief, you know what trickery will lay before you. I knew that myself as a matter of fact. Your knowledge of the shadows doesn't start with just Nocturnal's luck. No, you must know how to blend and keep out of sight. You show your initiative and Nocturnal will aid you. But you don't know when of course. This is going by what Karliah told me once of course. You could either confuse your skill with luck itself and the lines are blurred when the Daedra is involved.

"This doesn't smell right." She commented.

I rose an eyebrow at her.

"Smells like Draugr." I commented.

She punched in me in the arm as quickly as I felt it without any kind of hesitation or body language that foretold it. Ouch. Bad words then.

"Hmm...no...let's see..."

She pushed the doors open, and instantly jumped into my arms as fire shot out of two wall ornaments. I would have chuckled that it scared her but...

The fire itself reminded me of my dream. Horrific. Was it telling me to be cautious? I didn't realise I was squeezing her so hard she started to choke. I let her go once I snapped out of it.

"Gods Bryn, gah. Someone protect me from your hug of death!" She joked.

"Sorry lass...couldn't help it." I said, hoping to make it sound like I was just being a stir, but...

Once the fires themselves stopped, we went down the long, wide hall, roof curved over as we approached the nordic puzzle door. Petra had a quick look around, but, of course, just like that Wyndelius lad, we were met with complete failure.

We decided that it was just going to be a complete waste of our time and headed out with our load of goods.

* * *

To solve problems instead of causing them can give you that warm feeling. Aye, what we are is what we decide to do for a living. Though perhaps it's the way that when you see the smile and relief in peoples faces, that you've done them a service that they'd never forget, that the spirits themselves let you know and make you feel good inside.

Maybe I'm just hanging around Petra too much. None of us are honest, but we're privileged. I suppose in order to keep to ourselves we best not get to involved and not try to be the heroes, or else you'll end up with a dagger in the back of your neck.

She was born to live like this, but to me, she's just the type of person who do things for the sake of doing them. She may say it's for Gold, but when you make the world a better place bit by bit, it makes you question every other choice you've made in life. I'm still a thief and I'll never forget my skills. Because I know...some people deserve to be punished...the clean way.

My defiance of my father was inborn rebellion. I simply could not stand to take what he was doing, forcing his teaching down my throat that I don't like mentioning all the things I supposedly know, because Shor knows I'll never use them down the line. I'm beginning to see the lessons worth, even though I do hold my father in contempt because of them.

The world we live in is forever grey. We're in constant conflict because we are what we are in life and history repeats itself. We're all made up of thousands of influences. Some may stand out, but others...forget about it. It's already a lost cause and there's not much you can do but hope and pray that they can still turn their lives around.

I'm just doing what I know. But what I already knew that I never wanted to remember was when we met with the Greybeards. I'd been up there before myself you know...

As a lad, my father just wanted to practice using shouts and wanted me to learn. I was too full of fire, impatience and disdain for even wanting to hang around with these old men just to scream at the sky all day. I found it then to be extremely pointless magic. But speaking with the Greybeards earlier that day, troubled me somewhat...

* * *

So when we got to High Hrothgar earlier, we were met by these same old men. The one who calls himself, Arngeir, instantly recognised me but didn't say a word. He was more interested in Petra. But Petra herself didn't pick up on the fact that we knew one another already. I'd prefer it to be that way. So when was Petra was busy learning and practicing her shouts, I stood next to him and had the first discussion we were able to have in years since then.

"When you walked up those steps, I was wondering if you were the same stubborn boy who came up with his ambitious father all those years ago." He explained to me.

"Aye. I'm here for support." I told him. Might as well be honest with him.

Arngeir nodded. He held no visible ire, but this was a place of respect and peace and such things are meant to be left at the bottom of the mountain.

"Support is welcomed as always. But I remember you with that vexation in your heart." He continued

Much to my chagrin, yes.

"But I knew that one day I would see you again."

I had my hands on my hips as I looked at him, baffled.

"Again? So despite all the resentment into learning all that guff, you honestly believed that I would come back at one point?" I called out, confused.

A hastened breeze shot past us. Petra was having way too much fun with that Whirlwind Sprint.

"Of course. That's what your father said anyway. He told me that you'll come to understand the reasons for your own good one day. I was hoping that day would be today, but I was met with, something rather different instead." He stated. Ignoring the woman who brushed past him.

Figures. Dragonborn are much more important.

"Don't take that as an offence, The girl...has spirit no doubt. What about you? You may be supporting her, but I sense you're at in state of disturbance, more than you're letting on."

You can't fool them. Not at all. I sighed. I wanted to lie. But this wasn't work.

"I'm in a crisis of faith mostly. I never wanted to follow in fathers footsteps. Revoking Talos' position of being a God, and my mothers death took a larger toll on him. He was trying to shove so many things into my head that I was bewildered that my head didn't explode." I spoke with the hint of spite.

Arngeir nodded again.

"You're at odds because of what your father taught you?" He asked me.

I rubbed the back of my head and shrugged.

"I...don't know. I mean, I wasn't exactly divulging in noble activities because it was what I had to do. The man gave me so much grief that I just wanted my freedom to do what I wanted and just ignored anything that came to pass." I spoke with the hint of anxiousness. I was also dwelling in the turmoil by just thinking about it.

Arngeir watched on.

"You refused all meaning and lurked down a darker path. Tell me, did your father ever tell you why he wanted you to know?" He queried.

Not really. I only had my assumptions.

"Because he was a passionate, devoted to Talos and venerated him so much that he prayed for day he would smite the Thalmor for their terrible mistakes." I told him.

Father never blamed the Empire. He knew because Talos founded the Empire and the Stormcloaks that wanted to root out the Empire were just placing themselves short of religious treason. They wanted to glorify the very man that founded Tamriel in one of the greatest conquests in history and helped build the Empire. No...he blamed the Elves. The Elves were the real problem.

He favoured the stories of Ysgramor and founding of the Companions...and the elves that were slain for going against them. Pride was my old mans greatest weakness. And his true hatred for the Thalmor and the Dominion was hardly matched.

"Your father was investigating the possibility of a Dragonborn in the new age. Simply, because of what your mother said."

I turned to him.

"What?"

Arngeir lowered his head.

"Yes, he told me about your mother and her tendency to run off course a bit. His words not mine."

I'd never heard mother speak of the Dragonborn.

"She only said it once. Saying that the spirit itself was already alive but too young to enact. He wanted to prove to you, a true Nord that would save Skyrim many times over."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I'm remembering that dream again.

"But you know yourself that the Dragonborn is the very avatar of the Nord soul. Highly respected among all who appreciate the legends."

That I knew from the tales of ancient Dragonborn past. All I could think of is fire.

"Aye I do..."

I must have kept my eye on Petra in the stillness as we stood there, watching her do her thing. She practised her abilities with her blades and kept watch of her shouts. There's a noble lass.

This whole thing was in her blood. Why father wouldn't tell me what he was looking for was anyones guess. He came here to show me, to tell the Greybeards what my mother supposedly said that I never heard. I wasn't entirely happy about all the secrecy involved here. Too suspicious indeed.

Both of them knew though. Was the Dragonborn topic to be kept secret until the time comes? Was this part of some kind of weird notion because of Talos? Were they to use her against the Thalmor too? I had no idea what was going on in my fathers head. But if he as so touches her I'll...

"You don't strike me as the supporter Brynjolf. You were so against the teachings and only now you seek to understand. Has the journey with the Dragonborn opened your mind?" Arngeir questioned.

A little bit. But there's still so much to learn.

"My world view is a bit more open. But it still doesn't explain my fathers motives. Yes, I know she's destined to kill Alduin. That part we all know. But the passages to get there..." I answered. Though how much was open was hard to say.

Arngeir smiled.

"The Dragonborn writes her own stories on the currents of time. There are thousands of way she knows how to get there. Her fate has been written in her hands. Her birth comes with the oneset of the nearby future. Her appearance here has everything to do with the Dragons themselves, and more..."

I still didn't understand.

"The Gods sort it out. They knew and they see themselves what has to be done. They set the course of events in motion and they're subtle, but they know what's going on as they see through different times and places to seek out what they're looking for. For in their eyes they see a potentate. They cast another Talos, another St. Alessia, another Ysmir because for the eyes can see, they see all the worlds and their futures. They'll take a special interest in an individual because their decisions have impressed them and implant their influences as much they need to."

It...sort of made sense. I don't know. I still really hated all of this. This is what I feared. Religion is mostly philosophy, no action. Only subtle reminders remain as proof. I know magic exists but...

I wish Karliah's explanation of Nocturnal's deals would work with all matters. Business, I understood. Business made sense to me. I can work with matters that I put my hands towards. Lower to the ground, instead of pointing my fingers upwards in pointless prayer to Gods who prefer to look down on us and laugh at our pathetic attempts to survive. 

"I know I made up some theories in the past. The lass won't tell you this, but she's been through a lot of pain and I just want to make sure to make everything as painless as I can. My main idea was that they chose her because they knew that one way or another, that eventually, she'll make the first step and take a stand to what's going on around us. And by doing that, earning the Gods favour before she's even born." I worded, sounding a tad desperate.

Arngeir nodded.

"You need to accept that everyone's paths are different, but our goals are always the same. By choosing the right path, the Dragonborn receives a unique goal separate from everyone else and therefore part of that path needs to be laid out carefully. We're here to guide as, like the Dovahkiin of old."

I tapped my arm. I shouldn't expect her journey to be easy. I want to ensure that at the end of the day, Petra is still Petra and she's still the woman I love and she's content. I want to protect that. But this...this was something way over a thief's head. I have no party tricks or know any spells. I know she wants me here because...

"What can I do then?  I don't play a part of anything because I'm just a regular nord, who's only real skill is being able to manage people."

Arngeir patted my shoulder.

"It's not a bad trait. Ordinary people can do extraordinary things with words alone. How do you think the thu'um came about? They are just a useful tool in persuasion as any other with talented tongues. Still,the Gods still lay out plans for everyone else. Some may never seek their destinies and ignored the Gods true will, but that does not matter to them for they can only do so much. Their choices and decisions are their own. They are not written down or foretold, so they can alter as much as they like."

That twisted my head a bit from what he said prior.

"Wait, you said the Dragonborns path is her own and everyone has the same goal..."

The elder chuckled.

"Fate...choice. That's a small line between them. Her fate is to choose if you want to get into the deeper prospects. She can choose to ignore us and find another way. She will always have that. Though we wouldn't want her to of course. But she's chosen to come here. Like Tiber Septim before her."

Yeah and look how that turned out. But Tiber was told of his fate and he made his way around to it. No one would ever truly understand...but...

"So, what does that have to do with my father?" I asked again.

"Why was he seeking her out?"

The Greybeard gave me a frown.

"I do not know. The man was never clear to any of us. He was intent to study the Way of the Voice himself. Get some idea what to do. But I think he was interested in getting more knowledge of the Dragon language."

I wondered what he was hoping to try and do. I shouldn't care, but it's gonna stick with me and annoy me from now on.

"Well my intent is to help Petra. I still am not sure if I can totally follow the whole values side of it. It's...a spiritual quest for her than for me. At least. I'm learning, but my fathers not pushing me about it this time."

Arngeir shuffled his arms in his robe.

"She'll need all the help she can get. The only word of advice I'll give you, is that you still have choice for yourself. It might not be written down anywhere but you'll know in your own spirit where to go and where to lead yourself eventually. Who knows, maybe your adventures with Petra will open your eyes more and make it clearer to you. A path is open to you Brynjolf. It is up to you to take it."

I grinned.

"I am sure of it. I am set on doing what I can. But do you believe I'll figure it out all?"

He lifted his chin, deep in thought.

"I believe everyone can. What's more important is to believe...you can."

* * *

Yes, musing on my own crisis in knowing. Being definite was fading and I was become more jaded and nubile throughout. But what my father was asking...that he knew...my mother knew. It all became too complicated for me to think about any more.

We'd returned back to the Inn and informed Wilhelm that the ghost won't be bothering them. Petra handed him the journal to prove he. He was quite surprised but also annoyed that this ghost was nothing but a fake. He thanked us, and gave Petra a Dragon Claw made of Sapphire.

We both looked at one another. No...it couldn't be.

"Do we still have time?" She asked me.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt.

The irony was strong. Wyndelius had been searching for this for a year and Wilhelm just happens to have it on his persons. Idiot deserved it.

* * *

We ended up going back to Shroud Hearth Barrow and going back to the hallway with the puzzle door. After Petra adjusted the panels to their rightful symbols, she placed the claw into the slot and twisted it. She then stood back next to me as it opened itself up.

So we finally managed to get to the deeper part of the barrows. Still dark but you shouldn't expect massive miracles. We went through the passageways, fought off more Draugr, recovered more loot. The kind that had very good value. I suppose why steal when there were ruins to explore? Oh, I kept forgetting about the probability of death being higher, but the risk itself seems to suit the reward.

Going through rooms, barely dodging traps and tricks throughout it. Made my heart beat faster with immeasurable power. Again, Petra looked like she was enjoying herself. She mostly hated the Draugr that kept shouting at her and always told me to get out of the way. She was a lot sturdier now after meeting the Greybeards. Could have been the renewed conviction swimming within.

It got messy at times, water, dirt...stones and the like. There was one room with a sets of wooden stairs that we wandered into as we passed a bulwark. Petra wandered forward, seeing skeletons below, walking around a spillage of oil.

Petra looked up and licked her lips. She pressed her finger against her lips for me to be quiet. Why wouldn't I be?

She was lot more cocky, bouncy and just was more firm with herself. Happiness...yeah...saw plenty of that. The thrill was exciting and just making her more risky for what ever reason. I'm trying to get the idea of that in my head somehow, contrasting past memories of her.

She fired an arrow at an oil lamp hanging over head. She hit the string holding it and watched as it fell down below. It exploded on the ground and the oil set the skeletons burnt down from the flames.

The flames got high enough, making me a bit weary. Surely...

But Petra was okay and smiling. I was wondering whether her dragon self had taken over permanently and not that meek self of hers. I did love both. Maybe they merged, maybe that freedom has allowed her to express herself properly and not act as a thug in the darkness. She wasn't acting for purity or a clean slate. She just did what had to be done and more. That's just my personal opinion. We kept walking around a bit more. Finding even more traps and using our skills to dodge to our advantage. Some locks picked with slight difficulty but we managed well enough.

There was a totem puzzle that just dragged on though. We worked together to figure it out within at least ten minutes or so. We finally came across an unusual room that seemed to have sarcophagi everywhere. I still had my bland in hand. I sensed nothing but trouble in here. We were on high platforms that sat up above a small moat of water.

Petra told me to shut up about it, and ordered me to stand down. She checked her quiver and counted the sarcophagi. She was trying to think how many she needed for each of what ever would pop out of there. She took a deep breath as I kept my guard up, my eyes ever watchful. There were the first set that popped open their lids. Her chin lowered, eyes strained on their target. She took aim and released. And we each other after the first set, she made the same repeated motions. It was like an obscure dance. The way she pulled on that string on the bow and the steady movements with the arrows. A sweet song of the undeath being put back into their eternal slumber. I had to admit no wonder she was so going...with...uh...pulling. Ahem.

Eventually, it came to the large one in the middle, sitting on the highest part. It popped out and let out a huge roar. You could see the shadowy long horns sprouting from it's helmet.

Petra smirked as she reached for her quiver...until she realised she was out. She'd misjudged or miscalculated.

Here we go.

She shook her head. I'd be annoyed with myself if I was in her position. She'd forgotten she could have used her blades instead of actually using her arrows to be all show offy.

I face palmed.

She got up and charged at the beast instead.

"FUS...RO  _DAAAHH!_ "

Study enough, but almost flipped her over when the draugr shout at her. I barely dodged myself.

Still she got our both her blades and just fought it off.

There was something...familiar in all of this. Petra was quick in her movements but the Draugr itself, supposedly dumb as a chicken but skilled in battle to defend themselves. This was the type of creature, whom once worshipped the Dragon Priests and their Dragon masters. Cursed to eternal undeath. Horrid.

Aye I took my own charge at as the draugr had an ebony greatsword and kept whacking at Petra. She had good agility to roll out of the way, avoiding the swings. I took it from behind once it was still, then lopped off it's head.

As it dropped, I put my blade away and smirked arrogantly at Petra and crossed my arms.

"Impressed?" I asked her, trying to stir her up...give her grief.

She just rolled her eyes and sheathed her swords.

"Finally, you're actually useful!" She mocked. I knew she just loved to stir the pot.

Oh she was going to get it later.

We let our animosity drift away for the moment as we continued onwards. The next room we entered had a huge treasure chest, with some old armour and weapons and other bits around it. Our eyes lit up with delight as the candles lit up around it. I could contain myself, but Petra was so uncharacteristically jubilated by it, it almost scared me. But seeing her happy, I couldn't complain.

We opened to see loot inside. Usual stuff, gold...jewels. We stashed as much as we could into our pockets. We scurried about, until Petra lifted her head and tilted it. Don't tell me she's not like a kitten.

"Is that...a word wall?" She muttered.

I closed the chest and stood up behind her. I could hear voices, the same magical influence from Snow Veil Sanctum.

We walked closer and the voices got stronger. Petra was entirely unfazed by it. I followed her as she went in front of the wall and rose her arms.

I saw the magic seep through the cracks of the dragon text etched within. She was bathed in a almost-holy light, embracing the energies given to her. Her eyes were glowing a golden and violet colour, before the absorption ceased and the lights stood down.

I crossed my arms.

"Am I allowed to know what that word was?" I questioned.

She closed her eyes for a bit and bit her tongue, trying to make sense of what she'd learned. I saw it was an interesting process for her, but that was actually the first time I'd seen her get something from a word wall and not from the Greybeards.

"Uh...I...I don't know. I have an understanding of the word, but I can't feel myself being forced to use it. I think. I think it's...Kaan? Yeah. Kaan. No one idea what it means though. I'll know soon enough...but the magics...or what ever realm takes care of my understanding..."

Most likely her dragonborn soul telling her.

"...to calm animals I believe? Great. I miss petting the bunnies."

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Lass...what are you doing to the rabbits?" I quipped.

She shook her head with haste and felt she was being accused. I was just kidding.

"Every time I try and pat them they get scared and run off! They're so cute." She replied with shaky excitement.

Gods Petra...could you be anymore...adorable. She's a kitten. Wild, playful...you know...

Made me wonder if this was what she was truly like when she lived in Cyrodiil. Enjoying herself. But it was nice seeing her like this. It was healthy.

* * *

 

We'd gone back to town with our success in the barrow. Petra learned a new word and we have loads of treasures to sell. Problem was, there was no where or no one to sell them to. Thieves and explorers problems...ugh.

"We could always head back to Riften?" She suggested as we walked back to the Inn.

I grumbled.

"Then we're gonna delay our trip to Ustengrav lass. It'll take too long. Why don't we pay a visit to Whiterun?"

Her eyes widened. Oh, I almost forgot. How silly of me. She stood there with a scorn written all over her face.

"You know how I feel about going back there Bryn. Never again." She said as if all energy had been drained.

I rubbed my forehead. I had to think of something.

"Maybe if we're lucky one of the Khajiit Caravans will be there." I assured her.

* * *

So we ended up spending one more night in Ivarstead. I have to know, whether or not if any of this ends up revealing more to me than I would have guessed. I don't like talking about it because it's irrelevant and nothing to do with what we've got here. We have a thing going and I like it so far. But, well, we put our stuff inside and readied ourselves to rest. We were both rather exhausted from both the climbs to High Hrothgar and raiding the ruins of Shroud Hearth Barrow. But I couldn't stop thinking about what Arngeir said.

We took off all our armour and put it aside as Petra yawned and stretched as we shuffled underneath the sheets and embraced each other, with Petra falling asleep first with a huge grin on her face. I kissed her goodnight and put one arm around her as she leaned on my chest, her body in a fetal position, and my other hand behind my back. I had trouble sleeping myself. That dream from last night was disconcerting. The fires that consumed. Even today, I get more worried about it. I shouldn't...really...but my gut says otherwise. And now that I found out that my fathers been looking for the Dragonborn all this time, it becomes critical to find out more.

Arngeir was right. He's ambitious...ruthless. Where ever he was now was most likely either dead or cooped up in some dwemer ruin. I'm inclined to believe the later, as father is tenacious and actually pretty good in battle. Of course, he's a nord!

As I hold Petra in my arms, it's...damning to think about anything else. Even my own mother kept secrets from me.

Thankfully I forgot it temporarily as I got tired, finally, and let my eyelids handle the rest.


	44. Whiterun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much to Petra's antagonistic feelings, they head to the city to sell their unwanted junk. But an encounter with a mysterious man brings in new questions she never knew to ask before.

 

Why did I agree to this?

Why or why?

I had hoped not to step into Whiterun again.

But, I had visited Whiterun before, a few times even. I'd had to go to Dragonsreach while everyone was asleep and used invisibility potions to make sure I wasn't seen. No doubt the Jarl himself would have wanted to speak with me. I didn't want to weigh him down with my failures and hesitation to act.

Now I'm a much better woman than I was before. Dragons still terrify me, but the courage to build was easier to manage. I still hated doing it, but...like my father once said, we all gotta do something even if we hate it.

I don't know if it covered the possibility of risking ones self and putting others on the line. As a Nord you would think, yes...yes it does. This is my father speaking in my mind to offer my life because it was for a noble cause. If he'd known I was dragonborn, what would his story of reason be?

No matter, we were on our way, on our horses to the busy metropolis nonetheless. I trailed behind Brynjolf, who understood my reluctance but made sure I stuck to that metaphorical rope of his to ensure I wouldn't just run off without him. But this was my thief side talking, considering the very reason we were going there was just to sell our junk. I know it all gets confusing and frustrating at times, spouting out the philosophical prospects. 'Do I know what I truly want' sort of discussion? Maybe I want freedom, maybe I want to understand my real purpose in life. To kill another living thing? And kill it permanently. Doesn't warrant mercy or need to talk. These monsters will never negotiate and Arngeir calls their shouting arguments that are handled the draconic way.

These are ageless creatures, you'd think they'd wise up to the fact that those methods don't work any more. They are immortal in body and in mind...their minds do not age either. Or die off. That's just my opinion of it anyway. I'm just a mortal who knows she doesn't have forever to change. Dragons have that superior air to them, like the dreaded Thalmor. So fair to annul death itself, unto the mind does not need to develop and no need to change for they are the end of all things, the peak of their own civilisation and the society they built themselves all null, for they are the immortal. The envy of all creatures. For once you are free from mortality, you are free to do as you choose.

Akatosh himself foresaw the tyranny and sent me down to declare myself their nemesis. A mortal, a mortal with not much time but uses it wisely to make due and face themselves in the brackets of death by kin. A kin who will die with age. Or otherwise.

It's like their hatred for me is because I'm an insult. An insult to them the fact that I can do mostly what they're known to do and I do not have forever to do it. And if I'm happy and I'm content with that sort of life they cannot comprehend my own being.

It's an amusing thought. You can say why it changed my mind, to slap irony in their stupid, scaly faces. But...I also cared...somewhat. I don't like people in general but I'd rather let them live because they're just like me and trying to live out their lives. I'd rather avoid them as much as I can. But duty will inevitably call me to work with them and I will help out where I can.

Duty of the hero? Maybe? To just give yourself reputation and make people say, hey, that's the Dragonborn! She'll know what to do. Now that will give me my burden, many burdens even. I don't know everything. But I will...I will try. I know that, given what's happened to me and what's happened around me that I would have considered giving up, but pride gets in the way and forces me to stand.

And love. Love as well. I hated giving sadness to Brynjolf simply because I'm in dire need. He puts up with a lot and I admire him for it. My love for his selfless compassion. He'll never say it out loud. He may say it's just for me but he's got it there. I will gladly lay my life on the line for him. Love will make you do crazy things but you know it's just become natural for me. I'm...more optimistic, not completely but getting there. There will always be things that I will be uncertain of. But if I'm on the right track like Arngeir had said, then everything will eventually fall into place.

* * *

We got to Whiterun just before noon. We wandered past hoping to see the Khajiit Caravan...but, sadly, no caravan there today. Not in their usual camping spot that is. So we ended up inside the city itself. I was weary, but Brynjolf just stated to sell what we can to the local shops. Belethor was the worst merchant I'd ever met. I made Brynjolf sell the stuff instead. He's good with talking anyway. I just leaned on a pole outside the shop.

I spent the remainder of my time staring at the Gildegreen, watching the leaves flatter about in the brisk winds. Yeah I healed that thing for some reason. Compelled to...you know that hero stuff get's to you. I wouldn't say it's addicting...just for the sense of nordic honour and challenge. You want to see things at their strongest. And I helped paint the picture. Giving glory back. All that crap.

I had someone approach me, not sure who they were. Hooded guy, cloaked in a tainted white and red lined robe, that sort of thing.

I took caution as I stood up straight.

"Excuse me, but is your name Petra?" He asked, voice low. Polite, but how in Oblivion did he know my name?

"Yes?" I answered.

I couldn't see his face, but he definitely had an ambiguous aura about him.

"Pardon my intrusion, but my name is Torvan. Can I have a moment of your time?"

The politeness scared me more. But I went with it. Strange as it was.

"You're not selling me anything are you?" I questioned. These types always had some infamous ploy.

He shook his head.

"No. I'm a Representative of my group, the Crusaders of Verity. No one has heard of us. People say that a lot."

I rose an eyebrow. Heh, at least he had good foresight and a smidget of humour. Odd name, but I'll play with him for a bit.

"Let me guess, you want me to do something?" I asked. I suppose my name gets around somewhat. Maybe someone from the Guild let slip or someone else maybe.

"In time, but my master has heard of your exploits around Skyrim. She does not intrude upon your own roles in the land. She does not care. She cares on what you can do." He spoke cryptically. I was beginning to wonder what spirits were around to make sense of that. This master, sounds more like a stalker.

"Yeah well I can do a lot of things." I boasted without enthusiasm.

"I'm well aware. My master simply wishes to inform you that if you are in ever need of any particular services, that you can find us." He informed me.

My brain just went dead. It had to be a scammer. Always is. He then placed something in my hand. A ring of sorts, silver with an odd circle like symbol etched into it. It certainly had a power enchanted into it. But it didn't ring any bells. Could get it checked and valued by Delvin. I clasped the ring, then put it away.

"That's a Verity ring. It's mainly used for defensive purposes, enhancing the magical barriers around your body, but when you're ever down...I would recommend you call on it's power. It might save your life someday." He told me. OOOhh mysterious! But obviously had a suspicious nature.

I looked at the man strangely.

"Thanks? I guess?" I said, puzzled.

He nodded. Are the mages doing so badly they have to stoop to our level?

"You should be honoured. Once the Master has someone in their sights, she takes care of them as much she can."

I furrowed my brows. This Master probably wasn't even real. I thought she didn't care anyway?

"Why doesn't she just come to me instead?" I called out.

He chortled.

"My master isn't exactly confrontational when it comes to matters like these. She is very busy. But like I said, when the time comes, she will make herself known to you. And before I forget, you may want to avoid another group for a while." He said, with even more crypticness.

I lifted my chin, studying him with even more suspicion.

"Another group eh? Why's that?"

"They call themselves the Cult of Slaughter. All you need to know is that they're horrible people looking to consolidate power. They were last seen in Skyrim escorting a protected package with a half a dozen guards. Where to? Don't know, we're still looking into it. They're still within the hold I believe."

I crossed my arms.

"Really? And what makes you think I wouldn't go up to them and take a peek at their precious cargo?" I said, my thief instincts kicking in.

Torvan's smile really unnerved me.

"The master predicted you would. What they're up to needs to be stopped. The only information they need that crucial to their plan is one piece that they haven't laid their hands on yet...or better yet, two pieces. They already have one, but without the others they'll be far from finished." He explained to me.

Interesting. So she's a seer too? Hah and I'm a dragon's mother.

"So let me say your master is the one who told you this? So she observes from where ever she hides and feeds you orders and information? And yes, the ultimate ingredient in this is that she is a mystic! What is it with people and making other people do their jobs and be all...mysterious about it? What is wrong with just telling me upright?" I complained.

He wasn't fazed.

"The master is very careful with the details she gives out. She prefers to push things along rather than alter them outright. It'd be a complete disaster if we did."

I rolled my eyes.

"So says her fortune-telling. And you enjoy the secrecy?"

He nodded.

"Secrets can kill when given to the wrong people. You can always predict would people would do on their past actions. They may change and you'd be wrong. In this case, the master reads people in real time as well. She only recruits those she knows she'll able to trust. In this case, she finds people...people don't find her." He told me.

I sighed. Yeah it often goes like that.

"Yet you want me to find her. A bit contradicting there..." I pointed out.

He smirked.

"Only because she wants you to find her. But not now. She will be available to you. Once your heart knows when and when becomes now that you intend to seek her, she'll come to you." He said.

Damned Mystics. Figures they'd be behind such tripe. Next thing you know, the world could have been saved with a click of a finger...after many had alredy died.

"I'll take your word for it then. So you know I am definitely interested in that package...you going to stop me?"

He shook his head.

"Not at all. I was just testing you. But it's best to keep a low profile after you do so. The Cult will take a great interest in you." He said.

Hurrah for being hot on the market right now.

"Friend, don't worry too much about me keeping a low profile." I spoke with that, you know, arrogant tone but with the humour sense in it.

He bowed his head to me.

"Very well. I'll take my leave. Thank you for your time..."

* * *

He left without much fuss. Still had no idea what he was on about it. Crusaders of Verity...Cult of Slaughter. Sounds like two rival factions vying for the same thing. I know how this works. It's like the Civil War, they all want the same goal in the end. I'll side with Torvan for now, but his group better not get up to any funny stuff. I put the ring on for kicks and tested it out myself. Didn't feel or see anything, so it must depend on my legitimate need and nothing forced. One of those more advanced and complicated enchantments. Okay then.

Brynjolf came out soon after, with coin overflowing in a sack as he jingled them to me. More than we can count. Dang, that loot was definitely worth it.

"What would we actually do with that, anyway?" I wondered out aloud.

He shrugged. Mostly we did use it for the Guild or buy drinks in the past.

"Don't know. Invest in retirement? Maybe, a house?"

I rose an eyebrow.

"A house? Seriously Bryn? You're thinking about that already?"

He gave me his gorgeous little grin.

"You honestly never thought of your own future lass?" He questioned.

I face palmed.

"I was hoping for peace and quiet. I wouldn't have..."

Wait...

Why did I come to Skyrim again?

"Lass...?"

I never thought about it that much. I'm mostly in the here and now and never think that far ahead. Nor do I think THAT far back. So much has occurred lately, that it never crossed my mind and...

"Petra...?"

I looked up at Brynjolf who was being worried as always. I smiled. Thanks for breaking my trail of thought.

"Actually I would have become a...Companion. Noisy brutes. The lot of them."

Brynjolf chuckled as we began our leave from the city.

"A Companion? I once contemplated myself you know. I was an angry child, needing to let off steam. But being...a thief, now that's something I found challenging." He mentioned.

I'm glad he did.

"But right now, I think we can use a bit of this coin to restock your arrow supply."

Ahh the man after my own heart. No, I'm pretty sure he already had stolen it prior. Heh.

* * *

We got my arrows and were at the stables before we knew it, grabbing our horses again and on the everlasting track to Ustengrav. Still a nice, Skyrim day out in the tundra yet again. Even so, the quiet trip there left me a lot to think about and a lot to take in.

All I remember was waking up on that carriage to Helgen, with my head going on the block. I was with Ulfric Stormcloak and a bunch of others. I hadn't said much because I was totally perplexed as to what was going on. I had no recollection of previous events and was...I don't...I don't know.

But now that question was just...forever...in my head you know? Why...why did I come here? What was the reason I came here? I was fine in Cyrodiil. Did...did I come here for a reason? A request? I wasn't...I didn't...

It was giving me a headache just thinking about it. That cloud of doubt was raining on me again. Just like it had been for my real destiny as Dragonborn. Had I been drawn here spiritually? I wouldn't have known just...come here...

"Somethings on your mind lass, I can tell." Brynjolf called out to me.

I shouldn't lie to Brynjolf. No.

"Just...why did I did I come to Skyrim in the first place if I was happy living with my parents in Cyrodiil?" I asked. Although happy varied. Boring work, but I was healthy and alive.

He looked at me strangely.

"Mother land? We all love our land lass. It's as beautiful as it is tough. Reminds me of someone..."

Oh Gods Bryn, don't make me blush.

"Uh...yeah...yeah. But hear me out...I know when I was on the farm I had plans to visit Skyrim, just to know, see what it was like. But I'm certain that's not the reason I am here." I cut in before he made it worse.

He nodded.

"Alright then. Someone influenced you? Someone told you to come here maybe? Your mother? Father?" He wondered.

I shook my head.

"No...no. I don't remember them even encouraging me to come here. They're good people Bryn, they just wanted me to stay on the farm, safe."

Bryn looked forward.

"The only thing I can think of is your status. It drew you here. But if you're thinking that's not a good answer then I don't know myself."

I don't remember if I told Brynjolf the whole story of Helgen.

"I was at Helgen when the dragon attacked and just desecrated it with fire and storms. So I turn up to Skyrim for the first time, and I was welcomed by that!" I pointed out.

Brynjolf nodded. Couldn't see if he was surprised though.

"I'd been caught and was about to have my head cut off. Had...had I done something that just warranted me to...commit a crime...no, they thought I was a Stormcloak." I called out, remembering how mixed up in it I was in.

He blinked.

"They thought...that? We heard news that Ulfric was captured. Were you part of that?" He assumed.

I sighed.

"Yeah. It turned out that he was the guy sitting next to me with his mouth gagged as we were being escorted. Everything about that just seemed...planned or at least very coincidental."

Brynjolf scratched his chin.

"Aye, I can't imagine coming here just to get in the wind of it. So you the Dragonborn, comes back to Skyrim...as well as Ulfric. Your heads were going to the block and a Dragon arrives. You survive. I agree with you there. Just...doesn't bode well."

I gritted my teeth.

"I didn't know I was Dragonborn then! That's the worst part! Back then I thought I was just some ordinary girl just looking for something better in life...I don't know." I whined.

He looked at me again with that damned smile of his.

"We all dwell on the past. You can't put that up there alongside the choices the Gods made for you?" He suggested.

I could if I tried.

"I do want to just focus on the present. The future depresses me and the past just confuses me. Planning ahead is fine but...you have to make do with adjustments if it goes wrong. What choices to make, what sacrifices to make." I stated.

"At the same time, while you were inside the shop, I'd been talking with this odd man about some group called the Crusaders of Verity looking for me and just...wishing me luck?"

Brynjolf whisked a rogue strand of hair out of his face.

"Crusaders of Verity? Never heard of 'em." He stated. As Torvan said people would.

"Neither did I. All he did was offer cryptic advice about my future, this Verity ring that supposedly bolsters my defences magically, and something along the lines of cargo being dragged around by another group called the Cult of Slaughter."

I watched Brynjolf ponder, like I poked a nerve.

"Name sound familiar?"

He shook his head and squinted.

"The Cult of Slaughter...I...may have heard that name before. Old group...said to worship the Dragons themselves. More modern, but said to be descendants of the old Dragon Priests."

Hence, the Slaughter tag.

"See, you know more than this Torvan guy did. He says his master was still checking it out. Some Mystic she is. Probably fake and doing it purely for the coin."

Brynjolf chuckled.

"Aye, I know what that's like. Did he tell you what was in the package?"

I rubbed my head.

"No. Again, he speaks in riddles for his 'master'. Trust me Bryn, nothing he said was ever clear to me. Some of it made sense, but ultimately, I wasn't sure I could trust him."

Brynjolfs eyes went straight to the ring on my hand.

"I wouldn't either. I wouldn't even be wearing that ring he gave you."

I just shrugged, then fiddled with my fingers for a bit.

"Dunno he just seemed, while as complicated and poetic as he sounded, he predicted what I would do...or his mystic told him what would happen and that he could work his way around it." I said as I dragged the ring up and down.

Bryn nodded. Though I'd wager he'd be as puzzled as I.

"I can definitely see why that would be of an advantage. Just don't let them manipulate you." He advised.

I smirked in agreement.

"Don't worry. There are plenty of mystics in the world that would most likely tell you the same. Snarky probably, but that's the best part of it." I stated.

* * *

It was nice to put those troubles aside for the moment. I wish I could relax in a hot spring and sooth my achingness. Too much walking lately. No, that normally doesn't affect me much. Probably stress. Still wanted to go into the hot springs however.

For now, something in the distance of the road caught my eye. A horse in carriage, and several figures in black robes sitting around it. As we got closer, the were holding something in a golden cage. Brynjolf recognised it as something of dwemer origin. Was pretty big too. No doubt it was them.

"Hey Brynjolf, let's just take down these fools and grab the prize eh?" I tempted him. Normally I wouldn't bother outside of a job, but Torvan's words decided to clasp themselves on my brain.

He grumbled.

"Lass, we're not bandits. If this is what you were talking about before then we need to approach them first and talk. If they're hostile, then feel free to kill them."

Torvan said I would need to stop them. Something about having the name, Cult of Slaughter doesn't exactly draw civility and negotiable traits now does it?

We went up closer, as the black figures saw us and went into offensive positions.

Told you so.

Half of them were spell casters, the others holding either greatswords or swords. Brynjolf used our swift tactics of arrows fresh from Whiterun. They spouted out weird curses of another language, more akin to Draconic if anything. But, they were no match for us and soon they were all pin cushions lying on the ground. We got inside the carriage to examine the dwemer box. It had to be opened by a specific key as Brynjolf had no luck in using his lockpicks. I ruffled around the corpses before I found one and handed it Bryn.

I was interested in this relic, what ever it was. Destroy it, sell it...didn't matter. I wouldn't expect gratefulness from the unknown Crusaders. Seemed like to have a bit of coin for themselves even. And the Mystics better pay well for good deeds done for them. Or, they'd rather be amused to watch events unfold rather than just, you know, telling them about it. The future would most likely be the same, regardless of the roads taken.

I had my heart set on something great as Brynjold opened the box. Though, the relic wasn't quite what we expected.

Brynjolf made one of those faces that just say, what? Am I seeing right?

I know because I was making one too.

"Is...that a Khajiit?" I queried, rather perplexed.

He nodded.

"Aye, but it's awfully...small...Dear Gods..."

He helped take the cat out. It was of black and slightly grey fur with bits of white tufts from it's ears and three sets of silver hoop earings, short white hair and wearing a dress of crimson, as well as an interesting pendant in the shape of a cat's head. He was right, it was...small and in deep sleep... Which meant...

"That's...a Khajiit child? They were smuggling in a kitten?" I spoke with disbelief.

Brynjolf shook his head.

"What in Oblivion..."

Thankfully we may be able to take her to a Caravan...if we could find one.


	45. The Khajiit Child Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our rogue heroes go on the journey to take the young cub to the safety of a caravan, when strange things start happening to Brynjolf.

 

In all my years, never so much as leaving Skyrim myself to go on various journeys, have I seen a sight such as this. It was banging in my head a little.

The Khajiit usually keep to themselves. And they were often scarcely seen besides the Caravans and the odd foreigner or two. They aren't trusted in society due to the stigma of them being rogues and thieves. But they make do with what they've got and I think they're used to it by now.

But why would any sane Khajiit bring their child here?

This is a horrible place for them to grow up in, to be scrutinised and mocked. This young lass...

When Petra told me about the Cult of Slaughter, I remember my father mentioning them to me as a group bent on giving order back to Skyrim. When you have a name like that, why would you trust them? But they were escorting this young one to where ever they were heading to and for what purpose, I wouldn't have a clue.

Petra also mentioned that the Cult were looking to consolidate power during our discussions. I took the cat out, but then she wanted to see if she was still alive. She'd confirmed that she was still breathing.

My only problem was that this was delaying our true goal here, but we'll put it aside for the safety of the child and to make sure she gets somewhere safe.

Petra took the girl on her horse and sat her in front of her, resting against Petra herself. She insisted as I made the suggestion if she wanted me to carry the younger lass, but ended up with brief but to the point response. I wasn't going to argue.

We had no idea where the Caravan was at this very moment. I'm not at all perfect with the details. Tonilia usually handles that, but I think if they weren't at Whiterun...then the group would have to be at Markarth.

 _Shor's Bones_...I don't know if even that, was a good idea.

The Caravans were often left alone, I wouldn't imagine the Forsworn having any issue with the Khajiit, but they're often unpredictable in saying that. I expressed my concerns to Petra...she states that she knows that the leader, Ri'saad, can be trusted.

I still thought it was a bad idea. I wouldn't put the girl through so much. But this is Petra's journey, if she wants to do this then we'll do it. We would never dare leave anyone in the hands of those who include the word Slaughter in their name.

We rode down the paths taking us to Markarth. It was getting on later in the day into the shades of the evening, eventually being surrounded by steep mountains of stone and the juniper trees that were scattered throughout the Reach. We had to be on guard for any Forsworn that could take us by surprise.

While the roads themselves are susceptible to danger, as long as you have guards with you, you should be fine. The Forsworn prefer to stay in the hills...mostly.

I kept watch as Petra and I rode our horses side by side. It was going well until I started getting a headache. Those banging thumps in my head got worse. It seems...out of place but drawn up from somewhere. Don't know where it came from or what caused it. I carried on, but it just got stronger. Petra had to notice as I was rubbing my temples. The look on her face just screams it. But I hope she doesn't.

"Everything alright?" She asked me.

"Gah...just...getting these sharp pains. Don't bother asking me what the reason is...it just hurts." I told her. This...wasn't normal at all.

I didn't want to worry her anymore, but this...was becoming a bit unbearable...

I then started hearing voices in my head, indecipherable. Is this what normally happens? Or is there magic nearby? Forsworn magic? Petra took lead of my horses and got us somewhere safe nearby to figure out what was going on.

She rested the Khajiit down as we nestled down and camped for the evening. I was amazed Petra was so insistent on setting the bed rolls down for the pair of us but not for herself. We were well covered and surrounded by rocky cliffs, allowing Petra to set a fire up safely.

I was in...no mood or state to move too much. But, the pain got worse and the voices got louder.

After Petra had settled to girl down, she came straight to me and kneeled down beside me with a small bottle of healing potion in her hand. My vision was blurry, but I can imagine the lass with the deeply concerned look on her face. I hated being a burden to her.

"Bryn? Here take it..." She whispered.

She made sure the bottle got in my hand. I was in a weakened state, but I felt her hand on mind as she was giving it to me. I could also feel her touching my arm, and my hand again, ensuring the bottle even got to my lips.

I swallowed it down, the taste numb and void. I felt a bit better, but the agony was still there.

I can't even begin to understand why it's just popped in out of nowhere like someone fired an arrow into my skull. I would have died yes...but...

I felt a warm, wet sensation on my forehead. My face reddened as Petra was just trying to give me the good old' kiss it better routine. I would feel worse, if she wasn't around.

The voices dulled a little bit...

It was...a similar sensation to the dream I had the other night. While I screamed for Petra, seeing her burn. I couldn't stand it. She was there with me still and I clung onto that. She then forced me to lay down, putting my hands on my chest. I tried to relax after that and closed my eyes which had been watering. My room to think decreased with every moment and almost drove me insane by it. But I fell into the deep sleep, temporarily forgetting about it for the moment.

* * *

It's dark again as always. Though I open my eyes to see the land as something...unusually flourished, young even. I am not wearing my normal thieves guild gear but some kind of armour, similar to what the Draugr often wore. Like...ancient nords...

I wandered around, the sun shining as I looked upon a prosperous land. But I wasn't in the reach...no rocky mountains...no juniper trees. Just, fresh, green trees everywhere on a flat ground of grass. Mountains dotted the horizon. I may have still been in Skyrim, but that, I am not...entirely sure.

A man in robes approached me. Brown in origin, dirty but adorned with jewels and wearing a mask of unknown detail. I wasn't...I wasn't even sure what was going on. But the man wordlessly lead me across the grassy plains. It wasn't making me comfortable as I saw similarly dressed men ordering around other people, nord people as they built some kind of temple.

I almost lost my balance as a large dragon flew overhead. I brought out my sword as it swerved around and landed right in front of me.

The dream was vivid, as the dragon itself was an unusual breed and colour from the normal ones we had seen. It's scales glittered with an amethyst shine, it's face less harsh and pointed than any other dragon and it's eyes were lit with a white glow.

"Hmm...Ahnok hahnu rovaniik. Greetings dream strider..." He bellowed out to me. It was surprising to see a dragon calm and willing and not trying to kill us. I'd call it refreshing.

Yes...this dream is absolutely vivid. And now this violet dragon talks to me. Can anything be stranger?

"The voice calls you to the Zoor, the legend of the past." He spoke mystically.

Voice? Must have been the voices I was hearing earlier.

The dragon itself looked at me as if it knew me. I don't know any giant purple lizards as far as I'm aware.

"The Dovahkiin must take haste and look after the Kaaz, the Khajiit that you are camped with." He explained to me. So this wasn't coincidence...

So the start of this troubles were called for by this little girl? Didn't make any sense, but if this happens when you're around her, no wonder the Cult found her so valuable.

"Care to explain what's going on big guy?" I asked him. I think I was in too much of a perplexed state to worry about a dragon, a civil one at that, that was sitting in front of me.

He lowered his head. An indicator of submission or respect?

"Krosis...a time that is running short. They are after you." He warned with such inconspicuous words.

I looked around, suspicious and confused.

"After me? Who's after me? And more specifically, what do they want with me?" I asked, insatiably curious.

"The three of you together, mulaag, they have eyes and ears everywhere. And they would want me to take you." He continued.

No dragon will take us. Not until my last breath.

"You haven't told me why." I reiterated.

He growled.

"I would have come to claim you for myself, given the chance. But the girl has opened my eyes to see what there needs to be seen. Unfortunately for my fellow dovah, they will not see clearly as I do." He said, his tone changing.

I rubbed my head.

"So these...dovah are after me too huh? Wouldn't they be after the Dragonborn alone?" I wondered.

He scanned the land around us. Construction on stonework everywhere. Some, stories were being created with pictures.

"The Dovahkiin is critical as there are a few who prefer not to side with Alduin himself. Those who had seen through the treachery and abandoned the role our father Akatosh gave him all those years ago." The dragon stated.

I crossed my arms. Seems like the dragons were indeed sentient and had several factions. I keep on forgetting that they're rather intelligent. When their pride wasn't standing in their way.

"I am currently violating my tenets as we speak. Unslaad Krosis. The currents of time are being watched. I only brought you here so we could speak. I cannot guarantee the next time we meet will be on civil grounds. Take the Kaaz with you, for it will not be long until they find her again. Their numbers, Tokaan naram."

* * *

I woke up shortly after, headache suddenly gone. It was still night as I looked up at the stars above. Unsure of how much time has actually passed. I heard more whispers though, brief and accented. I turned to see...the khajiit girl sitting on her knees, and her hands clasped together in prayer and eyes closed. Her...lips moved quickly. I sat up and observed her and looked around to find Petra. Was she aware of what was going on?

"The one you call Petra is down by the river nearby." She spoke out, her voice slightly higher and less gravely than what you'd hear from another female khajiit.

"This one was giving you the prayer to feel better. It is the prayer of the Goddess Khenarthi, to rid the spirits plaguing your body. But in this case, the spirits were warm."

Most Khajiit I've met never cared for religion. Probably why we got along so well.

"Aye...the headache I had was...strange. Came out of nowhere." I confirmed.

The cat nodded.

"Cold spirits differ from warm. The cold are the causes, but yours went from cold to warm." She continued in her strange, mystical way.

I'd translate that as going from bad to good? I don't know. I'm never good at this stuff.

Petra came back soon after with a smile on her face. I stood up from where I was and smiled right back at her.

"Oh thank the Gods you're alright!" She called out, hugging me.

"I wasn't sure what was going on when she got up. I wasn't paying attention and suddenly she was awake and touching your head. I got a bit...antsy but we quickly worked out our misunderstandings and now that you're awake, I say thanks for helping. I think." Petra exclaimed.

Did...the khajiit actually cure my headache? Or was this what the Violet Dragon was talking about. So many strange things happening lately. It was making my head spin more than all the stuff with Nocturnal and the Nightingales.

I then saw the Khajiit stand up and clamp onto Petra, hugging her and rubbing her face. I rose an eyebrow and looked at Petra, who had an nerved expression. But just told me, nonverbally not to ask.

"Now that Papa is okay...this one needs to...get what's going on here."

Papa? Petra must have given her bad ideas. But I'll trust her decision in doing so, if it helped out.

Petra and I spoke with the girl. Named Ayisha and how she was kidnapped by strange men in robes from her home in Elsweyr.

They'd gone all the way down to kidnap a child, and brought her to the north? Didn't make any when Petra explained that we were taking her to a Caravan that could look after her, the little lass didn't want to.

And from that dream, nor did I want to, for what ever advice that Dragon gave me was.

"Mama...Ayisha feels safer with you. Can't she come along?' Ayisha pleaded.

Petra's eyes were on me, trying to read me once again. I know she was hesitant and scared for the child, but. I couldn't say much. If I did, Petra would state that it wasn't anything real to be worrying about. I think I'm getting a superficial headache this time...

"Wouldn't you feel safer if you were with your own kind?" Petra asked her.

Ayisha shook her head.

"Ayisha might be small but she is not at all useless. They call her unique." She answered in confidence.

Petra and I exchanged glances. Curiosity often got the better of us.

"Not useless? In what way lass?" I asked her.

The cat fiddled with the pendant she was wearing.

"The shaman gave Ayisha this necklace when she was born. Told Ayisha she was special. Thats why the men were after her. They may have been after her necklace." Aysiha continued.

What use would a Dragon Cult want with a cat pendant? I wondered.

"They said, the foretold of Ayisha's greatness and granted her the sacred badge, so they called it. Don't know what it means, but it protects Ayisha." She said with a smile.

Not enough to stop her from getting kidnapped, obviously.

No one but the Khajiit themselves knew enough of their peculiar culture. This was an upfront experience for both Petra and I.

"If you say so..." I called out.

"I'll trust the lass, Petra. But this is your call."

Petra sighed. She didn't want to bring kids into this, but...we might not have a choice.

"Alright...just...don't get in our way." She said begrudingly.

And with that, she squeezed Petra tighter, almost leaving my woman out of breath.

* * *

We slept some more, but part of that made me awake still for some time.

I turned and tossed, unable to sleep, then part of me saw Petra and Aysiha sharing the same bed roll. If it'd help. I was envious. They already got that close? She could have been missing her mother and needed someone to let her know it was alright.

But, to be safe, I took my roll and placed it next to Ayisha, so she could have enough room. Well, the both of them. That way I could look at Petra's face, which her eyes were half-strained but the rest of her face was soft enough. She was laying on her side, on her arm and her other arm wrapped around Ayisha. I wouldn't have guessed Petra being the motherly type but if she's willing as they curled around each other like that. I couldn't help but smile.

The Violet Dragons words rung true in the end that we were taking her with us. Didn't take Petra too much to argue before quickly being convinced of the fact. I think she had already gotten attached to her. She needs to be quick to defence if I decide to annoy her about it. In a playful way of course.

We'd already decided and this pit stop was just, useful, but heading to Markarth was no longer a viable option. We could keep heading down the path then leading up to the way that takes us near Morthal again. Gods know what this child would do once we get there. I doubt any of us had thought that through properly.

But we were also on the run. Unknowingly. This Cult were after us. What makes me so special? Ayisha and Petra have more notable qualities than I do. Hm...it's a thought that'll linger in my head for days. Probably the dragons intention. What bothers me is why is the Cult coming back after all these years? Hopefully things will develop and they'll be revealed to us.

I'm not that...unique either. I cheat, steal and all that racket. I'd betting association but...now that we've got the girl, the Cult will try the means to get her back.

Thank Nocturnal we're all creatures of the night.


	46. Ustengrav

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Co. prepare to go to get the horn of Jurgen Windcaller, as Petra worries about Brynjolf's condition.

 

I'm starting to worry about Brynjolf.

His little headache in the Reach made cause for concern. It was spontaneous. Bryn never normally gets them. He'd tell me about them...I think. My heart jumped as he blacked out several times until I was finally forced to make us camp out for the night until I was sure he was okay.

I did what I could. I'm...I don't know. His face was red and he struggled to move as I had laid him down to rest on his bed roll. His eyes were glazed as I assisted him in drinking a healing potion that might help ease the pain. He'd given me a smile to me he know he was still there. Bless his heart Talos. I kissed him on his forehead, you know the classic 'kiss it to make a it feel better' motherly vibe?

With Ayisha with us now, uncertainty had arisen. She'd woken up and cried out for her mother. Poor thing was so scared, but I had taken to looking after her and let her know that her mother wasn't here, but I would be taking her to a Caravan that would bring her back to Elsweyr. She calmed down eventually as I'd sat her back down and gotten her something to eat.

I told her my name, she told me hers and then asked her questions in regards to why was she here and how she got here. With a few sniffles, she told me that mean nords took her from her home, and brought her here to Skyrim. I wondered what for, she said that all she was doing was that she was a Priestess of the Moons, well, a Priestess in training, to learn the ways of her people. But nothing that would warrant a kidnapping of a trainee.

However, Ayisha spoke of whispers being told around her when she wasn't there. How that her mother and father had raised her, and that she was the sole cub in her litter and picked on by the other kids. I frowned, the girl had already put up with enough. And kidnapping wouldn't bode well with anyone.

She was in a strange land and just wanted to go home. She started crying again and I assured her that I was going to take care of her until she would be with her own people. It was then she took notice of Brynjolf, laying down in a fitful rest. She looked at me with sorrowful eyes, but also curious to the tongue and wondered who that man was.

"That's...my friend Brynjolf. He's not feeling very well. He should be fine in the morning." I told her. How much of that was true was up for debate.

She tilted her head at him and squinted.

"He...he has cold spirits within. He is fighting off the cold. We need the warm spirits to fight them off." She said.

It took me a while to figure out that this was part of her religious fervour. Perhaps a cultural notion that I may never understand. I honestly thought that she wanted me to take him closer to the fire.

I went along with it.

"Ah I see. So, how do we conjure the warm spirits to fight them off then?" I asked her.

She got up and wandered over to him. I watched her go on her knees and press her...paws...hands...yeah her hands together. A prayer?

"Ayisha will call upon Khenarthi...Goddess of the Winds. I was taught that Nords call her Kyne, or Kynareth and blesses us with the gifts of healing. Her breath gives life."

I nodded. I found it impressive that for her age, what ever it was, she was learning about all this. They must teach them very early. I had looked at Brynjolf's face, who must have been dreaming heavily. I cradled his face, touching the bristles of his beard. Please be okay.

"Is Petra...a mama?" Ayisha asked me out of the blue.

Don't know what prompted that but...

"No...sadly I don't have time for children. No offence. I'm a busy woman." I told her outright. Though mother would have preferred me to have kids.

She bowed her head.

"You touch this man like mama touches papa. You must love this man very much." She assumed.

Very...astute of her, surprisingly. Although yes, it is an obvious sign, but I wouldn't have expected someone of her age to know of these things. I am currently severely underestimating her. No sense beating around the bush about it then.

"Uh yes. Yes I do. Sounds like your mama and papa do as well." I said with a smile.

Ayisha agreed. She seemed very pleased by the fact, before her face fell.

"Mama and Papa don't know Ayisha's here..she knows she's in Skyrim. But she has no way to contact them to let them know she's okay." She stated with sadness.

Problems like mine can be dealt with. But Ayisha...was just a child. I can imagine how terrifying it is for her at the moment to be so far away. I can imagine how terrifying it his for her parents, who would be incredibly upset and extremely worried for their daughters safety. I'm wanting to know more about this Cult myself, but I don't want to agitate Ayisha more than she needs to.

Sigh, only if Brynjolf would help out. Neither of us are relatively good with children, perhaps maybe Bryn more than me...even when the orphanage was just in Riften. But I didn't want to subject her to Grelod. She was better off with the Caravans who may just give her the chance to go home.

"Petra?" She called out to me, as she rubbed her hands with a strange powder that she had gotten from a small bottle that came from her pouch.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Mama and Papa are too far away and you have warm spirits around you, always. You are guided by the warm spirits of Alkosh."

I blinked. Alkosh, Alkosh...why does that sound familiar?

"Tell me more about this...Alkosh. He a god?"

Ayisha nodded.

"He is the Dragon King of Cats and Time. He protects the Khajiit people."

I smirked. Dragon...time. The fact that Alkosh rhymes with it. Made sense.

"So you mean Akatosh?" I asked.

"Yes." She replied.

"Alkosh is revered in many of our ancient cultures. You...your own being with the warm spirits that continue to burn. You are...like the Mane of the Nords."

If she means Dovahkiin then yeah that was me. If my assumptions are correct of course.

"I'm impressed you can sense that. Is that part of your training?"

Ayish grinned.

"The Priestesses as well as the Clan Mothers teach us to live in harmony with the spirits and the knowledge of the Lunar Lattice stories that guide us. That can help us survive."

* * *

Ayisha and I must have talked for most of the night. But her culture knowledge was amazing. How the story of the birth of the Gods were made. Quite an interesting tale from a race we hardly know anything about. But I felt a connection between us growing and to what ever I was feeling, it was akin to developing friendship.

But during that, she'd asked me that because her mother and father were gone, that if she could call me her mama for now and that Brynjolf was to be Papa. I wasn't entirely, comfortable with it. It seemed silly, but if it gave her comfort and seclusion then why am I to turn it down? Don't know if Brynjolf would have agreed.

I got some water as the night went on. Ayisha began her prayers to help Brynjolf rest easy and smite away any of those cold spirits that she was talking about. I may have lied to Bryn later on when I said that she was suddenly up and touching his forehead. But we talked and she ended up pressing a thumb on his forehead and her chants were from another language.

I washed my face, feeling refreshed. My mind was all about Brynjolf and stressing about him more than I should have been. My head says he'll be fine, my heart just worries and my spirit's just aching to tell me that it's rather suspicious. Don't know which to trust.

I came back, and felt relieved as Brynjolf had awoken. We'd spoke about what occurred. And negotiated what we needed to do. When I made comment about handing Ayisha to the Caravan, she suddenly told us that she felt safer with me. I didn't know...and I wasn't sure. We'd been in Markarth tomorrow anyway but she was insistent. I didn't blame her...the roads weren't as safe as they used to be. I gave in and just let her tag along with for the ride. But now I had somebody else to keep an eye on.

I don't know if she reckons we're going to head all the way down to Elsweyr. I wish we had time, but sadly it the issue of running around, defeating Dragons was more important than that. I really wish she hadn't convinced me to take her. If she was left with the Caravans they would have taken her home safely, but she stuck by us.

I woke up with Ayisha in my arms, and Brynjolf close by, keeping watch. Ayisha was still asleep, but the way she purred warmed my heart greatly. He was awake and smiling as he was on his side looking at me. I blushed as he gave me an interesting expression, considering how I was holding the young Khajiit in my arms.

So that day we rode through a detour to Ustengrav. I kept watch on Brynjolf. He seemed okay, but even then, he was distant, off with the Spriggans. I wanted to open my mouth to ask what was wrong, but...

Don't know. I really don't. I wanted him close, I wanted him near me. I don't...

Please Talos... _don't.._.

* * *

We rested somewhere for the moment, to give Ayisha a break and something to eat for lunch. She was a growing girl. I know...that of the basis children tend to get tired a lot easier. Or something like that. I'm not a mother myself but. I'm currently stressing out as one. I didn't want to take the girl to Ustengrav with us because Talos knows that what ever is in there isn't going to be pretty. I'd imagine the undead scattering about and that's just no place for a girl to be.

"Ayisha, listen to me. Papa and I are going to a place where there are plenty of monsters and I don't want you to get hurt or scared." I told her.

She shook her head.

"It's okay Mama, the Clan Mothers taught her several spells in case she ever needed to protect myself. But, she can also protect others. She has healing spells that she can use." She mentioned.

Healing spells were nice, but...

"Do you know anything else? Did they teach you to fight?" Brynjolf asked her.

She nodded.

"Ayisha know some destruction spells, but they also taught her some illusion spells too. Invisibility being one of them."

Brynjolf and I looked at one another. She was like some kind of Shadow Priest or Stealth Priest?

Seriously, she just kept blowing me away with all of this...knowledge.

"Alright...but don't get too far behind." I warned.

* * *

At last we made it to Ustengrav, the resting place of Jurgen Windcaller, founder of the Greybeards. Like most of the nordic mounds, it had its ancient aura, calling out to me. Either that or the wind's just strong. Ayisha shivered, noting the cold spirits that haunted this place.

The place was filled with Necromancers, bizarrely battling it out with Draugr. The three of us stuck to the shadows as we navigated our way through the crypts, unsure of what we're dealing with. Ayisha took a few trinkets, as what was expected. No we didn't tell her to nor did we want to ask. We all did it anyway.

While keeping ourselves away from harm all this time, we did take down a few skeletons before it got quiet, the traps themselves easy to beat or avoid. We'd come out to a more open area, more skeletons and treasures that laid within. There were a few times that Ayisha made herself invisible if it did get a bit difficult. We also found a word wall. Feim. Hm...I planned on testing it later.

We then came across an interesting puzzle. A set of stones, three in total, inscribed with unusual runes were spread across. We walked passed and they turned red as we wandered by. We linked them to the set of locked gates nearby. But the stones only seemed to light up when I walked passed. Must have been my role as Dragonborn. I assumed.

I got frustrated as I tried to think up ways of getting passed. It then clicked...

" _WULD!"_

I made all the gates open at once, then flipped a switch to made sure they stayed that way. The others followed, while I smirked. Though more traps were laid ahead, we made sure to sneak by them as much as we could. I killed some spiders, then went down another path.

We'd made it to the main chamber, so it seemed. A path way in the middle with pools of water. Statues raised up from beneath the pools themselves as a display laid before us. I walked up to the strange display, the text on the coffin written in Daedric for some reason.

But the resting place didn't have any horn I saw, but only a note. I read the note, saying something about a attic room at Riverwood Inn. What?

"Mama, something's wrong with Papa!" I heard Ayisha call out.

I turned around as Brynjolf was on his knees, shaking as he held his head, grinding his teeth. I tucked the note away and ran towards him. Not again.

I placed my hands on his shoulders, trying to get in eye contact with him.

"Brynjolf? Bryn speak with me! Please!" I pleaded.

Ayisha stood back a little.

"This room...the spirits are like ice! Mama..." She said, her voice shaky.

Bryn continued to struggle with what ever was going on in his head. He grunted through it, muttering something under his breath repeatedly. I knew something else was going on, but I had no idea what it was.

" **BRYNJOLF!** " I yelled. Dear Gods no...

Suddenly he whacked me and sent me flying back. I fell over but winced in pain. Ayisha ran over, trying to comfort me. I told her told to go invisible and to stay clear as I dealt with what ever the Oblivion was happening to him. She did so, disappearing and running off elsewhere. And in that moment Brynjolf charged at me, with pure hatred in his face. His eyes...his eyes were dead black. I felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks. No...just no.

"Brynjolf! You in there? Get a hold of yourself!" I cried out. This definitely wasn't him.

He pulled out his blade, and in that I quickly brought out Chillrend and defended myself as he swiped at me. Veins were popping out of his face. He leaned over, his teeth continuing to grind as I felt the power of his fury. Like Ayisha said, this was just...filled with powerful cold spirits...one might be possessing him.

" _ **Dir Dovahkiin!**_ " He roared at me. His voice, deep, echoing and hellish, filled my heart with dread. That was definitely not Brynjolf in there. I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to hurt him as he continuously and manically tried to slash me to bits as I tried to dodge and block for my life. It was clear my voice wasn't going go to bring him back.

I had to resort to using another instead. I recalled the word Zun from one of the chambers I found and suddenly found the meaning.

"Get OUT!  **ZUN**!" I shouted in panic.

For what ever reason, I believed this would have forced him to drop his weapons, but it only staggered him briefly before he attempted to attack me again. I thought I could do this without violence. Perhaps, it would be the only way how.

I kept it up for a bit so I could recover my vocal strength. I got into a position with enough distance between us before I inhaled.

"FUS RO!"

Within that moment, the harsh, quick wind sent Bryn flying, back hitting against he wall, knocking him out.

I puffed and panted, scared, confused, worried and angry at the same time. No...I don't...I felt Ayisha grab my hand. I was glad she was okay.

"The spirits..." She whispered. "They've fled..."

I sighed with relief before running towards Bryns unconscious body and picked him up, draping his arm over my shoulders. Gods, I keep forgetting how heavy the man is.

Ayisha guided me to a secret exit nearby that lead us out of the tomb...

* * *

I placed Brynjolf down yet again. I sat by his body with crossed legs, watching his face. Again...again this happened and I have no idea what to do. He didn't complain of a headache like yesterday. What ever happened, it was far stronger than before. And I felt absolutely horrible about causing him further pain. I had no choice.

But I knew something was up. Something was happening and I needed to get to the bottom of it. Brynjolf...he means the world to me...I couldn't...I wouldn't...please Bryn, I love you...

I started weeping. I couldn't stand to see him like this. I had to do something, but what...

Tell me Bryn, what's going on? Surely you must know. Surely you have to know. Something in that mind of yours? Something that, I may have heard you whispering in your sleep...but that...your eyes. You weren't you...please JUST...

A warm, furry hand filled mine again. Ayisha. Bless her. She'd sat next to me, resting her head on my arm. Someone who knew my pain and saw it there with me. I had to ask.

"What's your thought on this?" I queried. I was amazed I could ask such a question without delay.

She pondered. She had better control of her emotions than I did. 

"Hmm...not sure. The spirits were fearsome, almost...like Alkosh himself empowered him. But not of the same soul-flesh as you. Riddle'thar has not revealed anything to us. Ayisha fears something more beastly and foul is afoot. Ayisha can give him prayers, but training has yet to be completed. Papa will not have full protection. Must find Clan Mother...or other magical teacher." She theorised.

I worried if this was going to keep happening each time. It was going to be unpredictable no matter what. I certainly didn't want it to keep this way.

"Ayisha, do what you can. Than-... I can't go on without knowing the full story of all this." I stuttered. No. I have to be strong for her and Bryn.

As Ayisha recited her prayers, I began to think of what this was about. Brynjolf was never one to be involved in anything specific. He never mentioned anything until Ayisha arrived. I can't blame her, she's just a child. Even then, Bryns words were draconic so it definitely involved the dragons themselves or what ever.

I still had the issue of finding the horn. I'd forgotten someone else had taken it, due to my full focus on Bryn. I had to help him. I wanted him to recover. And I just...Bryn...

I was going to figure this out for Brynjolfs sake. I...I just...needed Bryn to see to understand. To know and behold the truth in his heart. He wouldn't attack me like that, he just wouldn't.

Then I thought back to my conversations with Torvan. Dark times loomed overhead. He warned me about the package. But...I just...

Sorry friend. I need to think. Too much to think about.

Thanks though. To you and Ayisha.


	47. Barely There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf finds out Petra is hiding something from him as she becomes distant again.

 

I was lost in the sea of darkness. Dramatic as it sounds. But what light remains soon fades and I have trouble getting out. I'd never felt so alone...

The last thing I saw was Petra, and the last thing I felt was the headaches returning.

I then wake up again with Petra and Ayisha over me, Petra saddened and tearful. I want to hug her, I do. But...then again, I'm so confused.

The headache is gone for now. But looking back, I heard voices chanting at me in a strange language. But now as I look at Petra, I hear nothing but her cries. I hugged her, letting her hug me back in a tight squeeze, also with the little Khajiit lass embracing me as well.

To be honest I am afraid. I am afraid of myself and what I will do. I don't want to hinder Petra's quest and if this happens again I don't know what I'll do.

My heart aches and my head hurts slightly, but otherwise there are no voices beside my own and Petra's whimpers. I love her too much to see her cry for me. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, especially the lass. I hold her and Ayisha and it's terrifying. I want to let them know that it was okay and I wanted to be fine. But we don't know what'll happen if...

I felt like I needed to let her go in order for me to discover what was going on with myself and it'll break my heart if I do by leaving. But Ayisha in part compels me to stay. Her chants seem to be only temporary spells of sorts, calling on Khajiit deities or something to protect me. As for Petra...

Petra insists on finding out the problem, together before it gets worse. No...I don't want her to. I may have to find it on my own, but you know it would make me seem like a huge hypocrite, going from Petra's previous examples. I'll hold on for as long as I need to do and I would require their help irregardless. For now, she needs to care about getting the horn, since she showed me the note that was left there before...

According to the note, we had to go off to the sleepy town of Riverwood to rent an attic room at the inn there. Not quite sure what that meant, but after confirming I was fine, we decided to take the horses there.

The trip's silence indicated that Petra herself was deeply concerned. I don't want her worrying about me. She doesn't deserve this. No one does. I just hope...well, I know its the second time the headache itself became so strong that it went dark.. I had a feeling Petra knew more than she was currently letting on. The quiet atmosphere was also riddled with tension so thick you can smell it.

The lass doesn't want to say it because she doesn't want to acknowledge the issue, afraid of what I'll do if she tells me. She cried over me blacking out...no she had cried about something else. I know her well enough to to differentiate between her types of tears. She's emotional because she's anxious, frightened.

The other thing I don't want is to be a burden on her, as I have mentioned prior. I would never forgive myself if I tried to hurt her. I don't want to cause any more pain, after what she's been through. She's always like that. She was good at it for other people but it was easy for me to see through. Yet again as we crossed the tundras of Whiterun, she had her lips shut tight as she rode in front of me, with Ayisha sitting in front of her.

Petra wouldn't let me see her face, knowing I would read it and ask questions. I really wanted to know what happened after I blacked out, but she just...wouldn't...say anything. I honestly hate that she still does this. Why does she still think this way?

Aye and this was my business. It's not something you can shove underneath a rug like dust and forget about it. This was serious. If I had said or done something while I was blacked out, I need to know, in order to figure out what I had to do next.

The lass's journey is more important than me. I'm just a ragtag nobody rogue from the criminal underworld. I've never desired being special nor do I want to. Petra makes me feel that way and she's the only one who can. But that's the extent I'm limited to and I'd like it to stay that way.

There's a discrepancy on to whether I had an aptitude for this line of work any more. I'll admit after the whole Mercer incident I've had a dark cloud of doubt raining over my head. But when I first made love to Petra, it went away like a forgotten nightmare. We were lost in the ocean of passion and to each other. When we hold each other in that total embrace it's nothing I'd ever felt before.

When someone makes you feel that way, you don't let them go. For which my consideration to abandon her just...wrenches my heart greatly. I'd be left a hollow figure without knowing where she was or what she was doing. She was our hope to survive in this world and it's key to it's lock... Soft I know but that's just how it is.

My talk with Arngeir didn't help as we discussed my father. Just made me feel pissed off that his teachings actually paid off and that he was right all along. But to force me to partake in lessons I cared nothing about, just made it repulsive but it managed to get stuck in my mind whether I liked it or not.

Notably, the Cult of Slaughter, he taught me about them. They were a group out to seek power but you'd never see any historical books of them at all. They must have been a recently created group, or an ancient society that's even more of a secret and contains more secrets regarding the Dragons.

I would definitely investigate the matter. If I ever get in contact with Arngeir again, let it be known that I'm hungry for explanations.

* * *

We made it Riverwood in one piece. Ayisha and I stayed outside while Petra went into then inn, hoping to find this mysterious horn that was taken from Ustengrav. Ultimately felt like a waste of time going there...but Petra wasn't going to take something being stolen lightly. Irony has never tasted so bitter.

But she wasn't mad at anything. Her face had gone stiff and void. Emotionless. She was trying so hard to not let her worries roam wild. I knew it, Petra knew it. But she was focused on her own problems right now and her duties are more crucial.

Ayisha and I went and sat by the nearby river. She crossed her legs and smiled as the stream gushed by while I sat on a tree stump, slouched over with my mouth behind clasped fingers, as my elbows leaned against my knees. Riverwood always felt too relaxed for me. I can see it is peaceful and one of the more beautiful towns in Skyrim.

"Mama won't say much...but she worries about you. A lot." Ayisha told me.

"And the cold spirits were circling you again Papa. Mama's mouth does not open, but her tears have much to say."

Damnit. I didn't want her to. She's had enough. I just don't...

"Tell me Ayisha. What did I do? Did...did I hurt her...or you?" I asked her. I had to know.

"Mama wouldn't want me to say, but...you were not you. The spirits were angry and you had the tongue of the dragon." She continued.

Tongue of the dragon? Was...was I speaking draconic?

"Why would I do that?" I wondered. Why would I? I hardly know it.

"Ayisha does not know. Do you love Mama?" She asked me.

She looked at me, her eyes like crystals. Similar to Petra's. Except...more cat like...obviously.

"Of course I do. And I say that with pride." I told her.

She lowered in head, making me wonder what was she was doing. She clasped her hands together in prayer once more.

"The Mother Cat, Mara, would take care of the passion in your heart, the love of one another as she tends to the red strings of yarn that joins you both. Your love makes you who you are. Your red string is not broken, simply untied and put aside as you become a vengeful being, like Merrunz."

I wouldn't imagine myself wanting to hurt Petra for any reason at all. I've felt nothing but compassion for her since day one.

"You're saying I was...possessed, young lass?" I questioned.

She shrugged. But her face said it all.

"Mama would not tell you because her love for you is strong and in denial of this self. The cult you spoke of...they spoke of terrible things...ugly things. They took me to do them. The spirits around you have the same aura. Ayisha cannot predict what they would want with you. But it may be the soul that lives with you. The same soul that takes over you. It is not friendly like Mama's soul-father, the Dragon King of Cats that protects her and birthed her soul." She explained.

I furrowed my brow. The Cult? Wants me? Of all people? Another that says the same like the Violet Dragon. I'm...I'm not...

"Let me get this straight. Because of this aura that's similar to...the Cult, you think they're after me too?" I recapped.

The Khajiit looked down as she fumbled with her fingers.

"Ayisha knows what she senses. Your tongue spoke dragon... the Cult is related to the Dragon Priests. Ayisha was just...making an observation." She said, her tone lower than normal.

I rubbed my temples. It was getting a bit much now. I needed to speak with Arngeir and fast. Or my father...who had taught me about the Cult.

"Alright got the horn. Let's get back to High Hrothgar." Petra said as she came in, out of nowhere.

I stood up and turned to her, wanting to look at her face. Her face, still stiff from before, worried me more about this. I wanted to talk to her about it, but not while Ayisha was with us. I was angry at the fact that she was hiding this from me.

* * *

The road back up was treacherous yet again as we went back to the monastery in silence. I knew what Petra didn't want to tell me and she was deliberately avoiding the subject. We went back to the inn in Ivarstead, rented a room and welcomed by a happy Wilhelm who greeted us when we got there that evening...

Petra left the premises as soon as we rented it, leaving me with Ayisha. How...selfish! What has gotten into that woman? I shook my head as I was left standing alone with the young lass. I needed to be calm however. Being angry with it would get me nowhere. But still...

Ayisha had asked me where she went. I told her outright that I didn't know and to let her be.

When it came to go to bed, Petra still hadn't returned. She better not have gone up to High Hrothgar on her own. I...I'm just so pissed off about the whole thing. I put Ayisha to sleep in the cabin and left the inn on the search for her.

The night was relatively cloudy, guards were wandering around town on their usual business, but I couldn't see Petra anywhere. I was assuming that she'd gone up, as I paraded around town, desperate to find her.

She'd been acting strange ever since we left Ustengrav. I had to know, I couldn't...I wanted to confirm Ayisha's story. Bless the young lass for telling me, but I needed to hear it from Petra's lips herself.

I eventually found her, sitting down and hiding behind the rock near the outside of town, close to the rapids. I sat down next to her as she looked over in the distance, not even acknowledging my prescence.

"Petra?"I said, trying to get her attention.

She instead continued looking down at the water, eyes so inherently locked on the rushing streams.

"Petra?"

Still no response. I knew from that look that something was beating her up inside.

"Ayisha...told me what happened. What's wrong with telling me outright what I did?"

Her lips quivered.

"Lass, she told me...that I was possessed. I was speaking like the dragons do. Confirm this for me... _please?_ "

Tears ran down her cheeks. She was hiding that the entire time? Why couldn't she...

"I didn't want to believe it was you Bryn...I really didn't..." She answered, finally, her voice shaking.

I got closer to her and tried to get her to look at me properly. My eyes were burning into her, but her focus on the water...she was still trying to hold back.

" _What...did...I...do_?" I asked her again.

She pursed her lips, eyes scrunching.

" _Petra_..."

She placed her hand on her face as she started to whimper.

"Petra do not  _dare_  hide anything from me. I hurt you didn't I? Just say yes!" I said, perhaps a little too forcefully.

She then collapsed completely as she was doing a bad job of containing her grief. Well done Brynjolf.

"You...had black eyes...shouted at me...tried to kill me. Telling me to die..." She choked.

So it was true. I...

"Lass...you must understand I would never hurt you..." I told her

As I tried to wrap my arms around her, she shoved me off.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screamed. The sound of the rapids pretty much covered it, considering how loud they were, or else the guards would think otherwise. But I was stunned at the sudden rejection and outburst. Going from her wide face, she surprised even herself, then slapped her own cheek. Please don't do that.

"Damn it! I thought I was over this! I am so, so, sorry. I know it wasn't you Brynjolf. I just...I just..."

She broke in tears all around me, her face buried in her hands. It shouldn't be her that should be ashamed. If only I could control it...but now I felt... the guilt running through my very veins.

"I'm really sorry lass..." I told her, voice faint.

"I don't want to lose you again Bryn...I don't want to be the one forced to kill you. I don't even know what's going on! I...I..." She sobbed.

I tried wrapping my arms around her again and she didn't resist this time. She cried in my chest, as my stomach had that deep pit of sadness with inequity dwelling within it and my heart ached again. I didn't want this...and...

"If it's any help, Ayisha believes the Cult of Slaughter are after me...or what's within me..." I told her.

Not sure of it's any consolation, but it's worth a try. I mean, if the Cult are after me as she suggests, then there may be a valid explanation for it after all. Petra was puzzled initially, but she'll understand soon enough. The topic of the Violet Dragon may need to wait.

"Why? What's..." She whimpered between sniffles.

I rubbed her arm as she leaned her head on my shoulder, then went to touch the part of the face she hurt herself, stroking it gently.

"Ayisha said that the spirits that are around me, are similar to the ones that the Cult have. Plus the dragon language that I supposedly shouted, Put in the fact that they worship Dragon Priests. It's too much to be coincidence." I summarised.

She looked looked up with me with puffed eyes and red cheeks. I cleared the tears off with my thumb. She was so pleading and distressed by the whole ordeal.

"We'll go see Arngeir tomorrow. He might know what this is all about lass. And maybe know how to stop them?"

Her face was so soft...her eyes just stated she just doesn't want this to be true. She wanted me to be okay and I understand that completely. Who wants to be possessed? But as I gazed at her lips, I just wanted to kiss her. My heart was racing again, as my eyes became half-lidded and face moving closer towards hers.

"You know I love you right?" I whispered.

She nodded, as her face got closer to mine.

"I know...I love you too. I'm sorry...I don't like keeping secrets from you.." She admitted.

I looked between her eyes and her mouth.

"Neither do I." I replied.

Our warm, moist lips touched and quivered under the desperation of each other wanting the other to be fine, okay and just ourselves for that moment. Her kisses were the only ones I needed. It's one that's always the most memorable and enjoyable although our hearts raced, throats tightened as we gave each other forced and anxious kisses, like each one was our last. Perhaps that's why we liked doing it, the intensity of each one was better than the last. We could have sat there forever, liking the taste of each others mouths. We parted reluctantly and pressed our foreheads together as we breathed, our breaths soft but then hard with nervousness. We both feared the loss of the other. She stood up from where we were and gave out her hand. She smiled briefly.

"I'm sorry Brynjolf. I just needed time to think. And I want to get this sorted as soon as we can. I couldn't figure out what to do." She told me.

I took her hand and jumped back up.

"I'm sorry too lass that I didn't have much to work out myself. If it wasn't for Ayisha, I might not have realized the connections. But, we can find out together...alright?" I told her.

Petra nodded...we climbed the rocks then walked back to Vilemyr Inn with her rubbing her arm against me and her head rested against it, as my arm wrapped around her shoulders. I know we fight, but I know that we'll still be worrying about the other in the times ahead.

"Thank the spiritually important young lady. Let's just go to bed okay?" I said to Petra, giving her a peck on the forehead.

"Yeah alright, alright. You know who had the horn? That innkeeper at Riverwood! How..."

We discussed Petra's little talk with the Innkeeper on how she stole the Horn. How she got passed the stones is beyond me. She might have a few shouts of her own. Petra stated she wasn't allowed to give me details on the terms of the woman's identity due to...reasons she may spill to me in private another time. Too many guards. But her sounding annoyed was better than her being upset. The way she'd tell her stories like this...I preferred it that way, especially with that bite of hers.

But as soon as we returned, Petra looked at Ayisha who slept comfortably. The smile that crept up on Petra's face was amazing. Aye, it just was so loving as she wandered over and tucked her in, only for Ayisha to grab hold of Petra's arm. I withheld a chuckle as Petra's eyes widened. Eventually, the both of us somehow got in the bed and tucked ourselves in without crushing the poor cat. But it was warm enough. I watched Petra as she patted the girls hair. Those warm fuzzy feelings returned. By Shor...tomorrow couldn't come quick enough.

Thankfully we all got to sleep rather peacefully.


	48. Lineage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra returns the horn to the Greybeards and High Hrothgar is open to it's next officially declared Dragonborn, who then seeks immediate wisdom and advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Philosophical discussions ahead!

 

I should have expected Brynjolf's reaction. But I just couldn't open my mouth. I'm a mess aren't I?

But its the least you should find from someone who loves you, and you are completely convinced that they aren't themselves. Ayisha sort of confirmed the details there for me, no matter how obscure the mystical observation was.

I worry about a relapse but I want make sure I stick with Bryn every step of the way, like he's tried so hard with me that I can't refuse returning the favour. I love him too much not to. I can't understand the full meaning behind it, but this Cult of Slaughter was our only lead.

We returned back to High Hrothgar the next day, taking little Ayisha with us. She smiled as she looked at the views, but then noted it got hard and tiring for her to keep walking up. Cute, I'd often forget she's a kid, since her mind is full of wonderful religious poetry and knowledge. Brynjolf just popped her up on his shoulders, shocking and astounding her as he beared the minor extra weight and gripped onto her tightly.

See, Brynjolf is too good of a person to become a monster. Life in the Thieves Guild doesn't change you, it brings out the desires you've always had.. So it brings challenge and rebellion and an alteration of perception of the world around you. You are forever hiding yourself, but the thrill comes from the risk of exposure. The close calls...

I think this is similar in that regard. You aren't exactly breaking the law here but like the Guild, your perspective changes. As Dragonborn, absorbing souls becomes something normal to you, but you remember it causes astonishment and awe in each person who sees the events unfold before them. I've treated it as like any other mission...but with the world at stake I originally just didn't care, but now, I just want to know more about what I can do for the world. What I can do to just make sure the world is safe.

And to keep...the ones I love safe.

Still had trouble getting my mind to absorb and properly process the notion. To stare down into the immortal eyes of the dragons still gets me shaking and on my knees, but I know I'm more good about it, but then everything else gets in the way. But the main goal for me is to find out what it truly means to be Dragonborn. Even if I to have to ask a thousand people, I will use that consensus to help me find that very view and enact if possible.

Yeah I don't really know either...to truly know. You feel it, but you don't. It's hard to explain. You have the power built inside of you but I only know how to use a portion of it. When I shout, you feel the power rise up and explode like...it's supposed to be natural. So it's...considered normal. To me.

But when you face a dragon like I do, circumstances change. While I just lock down...other times I just kill it, and the flurry of emotions swims inside. I don't understand that at all. I'll have to talk to Arngeir about it. I wouldn't tell him of how I got the horn though. Some Breton named Delphine took it. She says shes part of a group who's been looking for me for a very long time and had assumed that eventually I would get the horn on behalf the Greybeards. Turns out she was the one with Farengar back in Whiterun after I got the Dragonstone and actually helped out. She complained that it's taken me months to get on it. I was reluctant to say what actually happened, but pretty much stated it'd been hard for me to understand. She wanted me to prove to her that I actually was Dragonborn and determined where the next one would be. She went ahead of me, but I had to return to the Greybeards first in order to complete the next step in my training.

She wanted me...to come with her...to kill a dragon, predicted to be risen near Kynesgrove. I faked confidence and told her I would meet her there soon enough. I had work to be done. She warned me not to take too long, but I would meet her there eventually.

I relayed my concerns with Brynjolf who mentioned that he'll help out as much as I can. I never...wanted to intentionally meet a Dragon...but...I don't know. I really want to understand what's going on but...

I know it's going to happen again. I'm going become pathetic and weak like every other time. Courage is eventually built, but well after many people of died. I didn't want to take responsibility of that. My heart beckons me...torn between sense of my destiny and sense of unsolicited fears. I can't stand it. I want to take action and I want to be able to do it...but I can't shake it off. It's hard...really hard...

* * *

When we made it up there, I presented the horn to Arngeir, who taught me the last word for Unrelenting Force...Da, which meant, push. who then gathered the others to help initiate me and to recognise me formally as Dragonborn. They warned Brynjolf and Ayisha to stand back as the procedure took place.

I stood in the middle of the monastery with the Greybeards surrounding. They all began to speak in the dragon language and shout at me. My eyes nearly popped out of my head and I almost fell over in the brunt of the shouts being blasted around me. The whole monastery shook under their speeches as Brynjolf held Ayisha close while they talked.

After they had finished, Arngeir had congratulated me on surviving the last test and had finally recognized me as Dragonborn.

"Does..that mean I have to seek out what I have to do on my own?" I asked him.

A question I had for a while..

"Of course not. We're always here to help out. Your training will continue." He answered.

With the word walls I'd already seen, I wondered if they were more out there.

"Is there anymore shouts that I can learn?" I questioned.

He nodded.

"There are plenty for you to learn. But, you must have patience. Learning them too quickly will only cause disaster and trouble for misuse. Though most of these word walls are deeply contained in various places, fraught with danger. It might bode well with your training if you seek them out."

* * *

Brynjolf and Ayisha went outside to look outside some more, as I spoke with Arngeir...regarding my issues in private. We sat in the middle on our knees and meditated on our thoughts. It was unusual, since when I do this its normally on my own.

"You are...troubled Dragonborn. Speak your mind." He told me.

I sighed. I still have to admit my own reasons and conflicts within this. And it's shameful and embarrassing.

"I know Akatosh gave me this to defeat Alduin, but...as my heart demands it, my fear...often prevents me...holds me back." I said, out of confidence.

He looked at me strangely.

"Fear? Fear of what?" He wondered.

I clenched my fists in frustration. Oh boy... Admitting it...it's incredibly embarrassing to share.

"I...I...have a dragon phobia..." I whimpered out. WHY?

The Greybeard nodded. He didn't give off the type of vibe that was disappointed at all. But words hadn't come out just yet.

"Do you? That's...interesting. It does pose a problem. Tell me, how many dragons have you slain thus far?" He questioned something I never really bothered to think about.

I tried to count...recalling those memories were painful. Western Watchtower, Two in the Rift, Morthal...

"Four I've counted." I told him.

He stroked his beard as he was deep in thought.

"Have you had this before? As in, one of your encounters had affected you deeply?" He continued. Oh..perhaps I should have done this a long time ago. Wisdom of the old I guess. I told him the story of Helgen and the Western Watchtower. Both of those heavily influenced me greatly and just thinking about the blood, fire and chaos almost made me cry again.

"I...I've slain several after that. I couldn't do it. My nerves get the better of me...and I...I..." I stuttered as my anxiety tightened my throat.

I tied so hard not to sob. Too much to handle as the very thoughts were making me sick. I felt something on my shoulder.

"It's alright...don't say any more. It's obvious on how much this is hurting you. Don't over do it..." He assured me.

I nodded with haste and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I've...talked with Brynjolf about this dozens of times...but...I want your opinion. Why was I chosen?" I asked.

Arngeir smiled. What better reasoning than with those deeper into the lore of the past than anyone else?

"Akatosh became the father to your very spirit for a reason. There have been Dragonborn, few and far in between, like Tiber Septim of old. He too was a bit unsure of where his own destiny was laid out. Our predecessors guided him and he made it to Godhood in the end. It is often the ones want to improve to know when they are not sure. It is, the arrogant ones who are so sure of their power that they think they know everything. He knows that you are capable of learning quickly. The Gods don't make these decisions lightly." He explained.

I sniffed. I wasn't the only one. But I know I definitely want to improve. I held the need to be strong.

"So asking questions...it's not really seen as weak?" I queried. It felt unorthodox to consider it.

Arngeir lifted his chin.

"The smart ones ask all the questions. They want a clear understanding of every thing they do and do not hesitate...because we will teach them. No one knows everything. And we will always seek to know more of ourselves and the world around us. But you will then know and then be able to pass the knowledge along. To ask of what does it mean, being a Dragonborn is a question with a potential thousand answers. The only one that is right, is the one you chose to walk along with and develop yourself to understand that answer." He said.

I looked down. Well, at least I feel a bit better knowing that seeking to discover is better than pretending.

"I suppose. I don't...I had this philosophy...that I wasn't going to allow myself to die until what I was born for was completed. I...I don't have that great of a outlook on my life. But when you put it that way, being Dragonborn is being what I am and what I can do. While...if and...when I defeat Alduin, am I finished? Or do I continue?" I wondered.

Arngeir eyed me with scrutiny, making me nervous.

"Up to you, I'd prefer you live on because you have every right to a good life. You are mortal and have a limited time on this world. No one is going to stop you from being Dragonborn, you must conceive yourself and tell yourself, this is what I can do. The Gods don't map out your whole life before you. You have to do it yourself. They're only giving you the tools necessary." He said.

I nodded. I sort of understood. I didn't want to leave Brynjolf or Ayisha behind in any of this. But...I just couldn't help but think...

"I...while I tend to breakdown...I have noticed...that while I have this phobia that is supposed to block me from doing anything...while a dragons about, I do...get the urge, the sudden feeling and strength within. It's a terrible, uncontrollable whirlwind that gets me. Then I find myself fighting...with tears of fury and sorrow that cloud my visions, but it gets clearer. I have to kill that Dragon, I want to kill that Dragon. And when it's all over, I shake, I fall...I am again anxious and shivering, weeping...and I feel ill. I...I don't..." I admitted. Sorry, it's a powerful sensation upon recalling it. The urge, the blood thirst, the desire to kill. It just takes over me.

"Hmm...your spirit is there...but you are...locked in a cage of terror, frozen in the midst of the chaos. But your spirit is like that of a dragon...and like a dragon, you are compelled to strike, to consume the souls of the dragon itself. It's in their very nature to dominate. And in your blood you feel it too. It sounds like a conflict of what you yourself a mortal feel, arguing with your immortal spirit who wants to break free." He explained.

I pressed my hand against my heart. Two selves arguing. I can imagine.

"I know...that I couldn't kill one dragon. I'd fallen off my horse and scurried away from it as far as I could. Second time it came back and I was with Brynjolf and I killed it. Third encounter was in Riften...and it grabbed Brynjolf I lost it..." I told with despair in my voice and a tight sore throat.

"Brynjolf?" He repeated, like he had an epiphany.

"So you gathered courage from him maybe?"

I shrugged. While he does give me confidence...

"Perhaps..he was grabbed by the dragon in Riften and cast over into the lake nearby. I killed the dragon outright in a manner of...destruction and rage... Then in Morthal. He'd hit him and sent him packing...I couldn't contain myself as I shamefully gave into my hate."

He squinted at me and crossed his arms.

"Hmm...all containing Brynjolf himself...could be a trigger. You...care for him?" He asked me.

Oh Gods...umm...crap. Wait, why would I be ashamed of that? I should be proud.

"Y-yeah..." I stuttered, to my dislike.

He smirked. Does the whole world have to know? Or is it that obvious to see?

"I see. Love is a powerful emotion. It drives people. But it is rarely witnessed nowadays. We often want to protect the ones we care about. Your dragon spirit knows your mortal heart loves this man. It's not to say that dragons aren't without compassion. They simply do not understand the concept of it. They do not need it. The most that they can prepare it is the defence of their own spirits. Think of it as your soul contains spiritual concepts of the most basic of dragon-like magics. It translates the love into something that it can defend. Your mind is based on the structural dealing of mortals, but your spirit isn't. When ever Brynjolf is in danger, the love your heart has for him, your spirit listens. Needs to defend, avenge. Anger is equal to compassion in some respects and vengeance is the closest equivalent it has." He theorized.

Defending Brynjolf. The thought of losing him...it was unbearable. But I am a mesh of lives put together for me to let myself step into the pastures of both worlds, to know the perspectives of mortals and Dragonkind. It has become a hybrid like reaction to seeing him. As the dragons are involved, I am compelled to slay to defend those I care about? At first his words became a bit confusing to understand...

"So...I...become...violent? So when if Brynjolf is hurt...I..." I stuttered, mind trying to piece things together.

Arngeir examined me closely.

"We've never properly examined the processes on how dragons actually express themselves in manners of their power, their anger and competitive streaks. They are capable of seeing reason, and are able to learn. They are highly intelligent, but most never think about anyone else besides themselves. Love is a gift, a blessing from the Goddess Mara to all mortals. But to understand love and to feel it, needs to be taught. Your spirit is trying to comprehend it and acts upon it for you. Defence of loved ones. It responds in kind to destroy any threats. Perhaps like a mother, caring for her family. Speaking of which..."

I tilted my head, wondering...

"Hmmm..." I murmured.

"You have a child here? I would like to assume you have the motherly instinct inside of you. Female dragons are practically non-existent. Safe to say due to all dragons being the children of Akatosh and most of them being males...it's hard to say really. But having studied dragonkind for many years, we may never know everything about them." He assumed. An odd topic to bring up but yeah.

I blushed. People would probably assume, a man, a woman and kid traveling and think we're a roaming family?

"Uh...the Khajiit? Yeah we're looking after her. She's a Priestess of the Moons I think. So she was dragged her by something called the Cult of Slaughter...whom are supposedly after Brynjolf for what ever reason." I said.

Something must have changed in Arngeirs eyes from stable to worry and changed the topic.

"After him? Hmm...I'm not sure you know...Brynjolf is the child of a former Priest of Talos. The man was very ambitious. He tried convincing Brynjolf as a young boy to learn the Way of the Voice, to track himself in Tiber Septims footsteps."

That...I didn't know. Interesting and I wondered why he never told me any of this. Or he may have and I'd forgotten. But previously he did say he wasn't ready to talk about it. I shouldn't judge or even be hearing this second hand, but I'm certain when Bryn was ready, he would have told me.

"And he says his past isn't very fascinating. So you've actually known Bryn for a long time?" I asked.

He nodded. My mind was covered in violet shadowy storms of doubt and disarray.

"I hadn't seen him in years until he wandered in through those doors with you. I was more focused on you Dragonborn, but when he came to speak with me afterwards, allowed me to identify who he was. All I remember was that he was a stubborn and angry child. Unhappy with the way his father forced him to learn." He explained.

I never asked Bryn for too much myself. But the fact that he'd been to High Hrothgar before...why wouldn't he have told me that at least?

"Bryn told me he wasn't the religious type for worship." I said.

Arngeir agreed. But going from what had been happening, it was becoming more clear why.

"He isn't...still isn't. I don't blame him. While the position that his father was in was noble, good at the time and if he wanted to worship him then that wouldn't have been a problem. But I believe, like with you, that he has choice to do what he wants. I would never force anyone to stay. In order to learn, one must be willing partake in rigorous dedication and studies of the Way of the Voice. Even if he stayed, his heart would never allow him to learn even a single shout in his life time. " He continued.

Interesting. He was no Dragonborn, that was for sure. But to hear him being like that was awfully surprising, but somehow, it made sense.

"He just wants to help. I know that much. But the past few days have been hectic on him. I don't know if he wants me to tell you, but when we were retrieving the horn, he was possessed and speaking the Dragon tongue. You don't think he was taken over by the spirit of Jurgen himself do you? Is that why the Cult would be after him?" I asked him, curious.

Arngeir meanwhile pondered. I had to consider all possibilities and leave no stone unturned. But, going from how much Bryn refused to mention...

"There...have been some rare accounts that Jurgen had done some less than...saintly commitments in the past. How much is true I can't say. But we are where we are because of him and we've certainly learned a great deal." He said.

I folded my arms and tried to think. I wasn't convinced honestly, but all avenues if available, must be explored.

"I know, from what I've been told, is that the Cult itself are descendants of Dragon Priests. Do you think that may have anything to do with Jurgen maybe?" I queried.

He rubbed his chin. It wracked his brain as well as mine.

"Possibly. I can't say for sure. The records of the Cult are lost to us and I would say let them be lost. They were a wicked group bent on worshipping the dragons and sacrificing people. Details were lost after the Dragon War, only for a single book to be handed down."

I blinked. That was new information. I had to know more.

"A book? What does it contain?" I said, sounding more eager to know than I realized.

Arngeir sighed. It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it, but he did so, albeit reluctantly.

"It was a family tree, dictating the blood lines of all the dragon priests. Some had masks of great power, others had great power given to them. If the Cults returned, its in no doubt its because of the Dragons themselves." He said.

I nodded. Figured they would hide and bide their time until the dragons came along. But this book sounded promising. But...from what Arngeir was saying, it was implicating a lot. I wanted to find this book to see whether it correlates to Brynjolf at all.

"But the Dragon Priests...so I'd wager they might resurrect some. My...current deep consternation is that if what you're saying is right, are...the Cult after Bryn because he's a descendant?" I wondered, deeply fearing the answer.

Arngeir stood up.

"We don't know for sure. At lot of the Dragon Priests were sealed inside deep crypts. If the Cult is going to find them, then there will be a lot more than the Dragons to worry about." He warned.

I shook my head. So many connections to take in as I stood up as well.

"I want...I want to keep him far away from the Cult as much as I can. If I have to take them down so be it." I said, although without as much confidence as I would have liked.

His face showed concern, but he didn't argue.

"Good. But I think you may want to find the book itself?" He suggested.

Of course.

"Yes I do. You have any idea where it might be?" I asked, ready to solve this mystery.

He crossed his arms again.

"I know...I sense something near a word wall. We can normally hear whispers of a word, part of a shout when they like to make themselves known. I suspect you've seen a few yourself already. Shearpoint I believe. I'll mark that down on your map for you." He offered.

Shearpoint. High in the mountains. Should be interesting. But I had to meet with Delphine first.

Plus I had questions for Bryn. I still was going to be worried about him. Maybe perhaps unravel what he really knows.

"What should I do? If Bryn...somewhat turns again? I have to be prepared. I..." I choked out, nearing tears again. Damn it.

Arngeir bowed his head.

"Be strong for the both of you. Your heart knows love. You want to protect Brynjolf with the best magic you have. I don't know much about possession I'm afraid. But you can hardly be prepared with someone you trust tends to turn their back at any given moment. I'd suggest to reason with the person possessing him. Ask questions. Get information because the more you use, the more chance you have of figuring out what's going on."

* * *

I went outside into the courtyard with Arngeir and watched as Ayisha started to cast random spells around Bryn. The two played well together. In my mind I just wish Bryn would have let me know from the start. I thought that I would have had his trust by now. But...I know I sound hypocritical, but my mouth couldn't open in front of Ayisha to say it.

He may have not found it important or relevant. But now it was crucial. I had to keep watch of his actions and his mood around me. But I have deep dread for the future, was this going to happen again and again? And if this book is correct, then this was worse than I thought.

My plan would be to run away back to Cyrodiil with him and Ayisha, back to my parents farm for safety, hidden in the woods and left be. We could stay there, but...they could stay there, out of harms way. I don't think I can go back until the main deed for myself was done.

I leaned against the back wall and continued to watch. I ruffled through my stuff attached to me to make sure all I had was still there. Strangely enough, I found the pouch that I usually put letters in. When I changed from my old brown to my new black armour, I practically put all the letters I had there.

I'd forgotten some old and tattered letter that I received months and months ago. I opened it and shuffled through the letters I already had for previous things to find it, to reveal some kind of letter that was sent out...the first letter since...

'Meet me near the border of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. Come alone.'

Was all that was written. Strange. I pondered and whacked the letter on my hand. This had to be the reason why I was sent to Skyrim. But...I was caught. So I never got the chance to do so. But the letter was suspicious itself. And anything I had to remember before that was...just irretrievable.

Ayisha then ran up to me and started asking me about the shouts. We must have talked as well as she tried to shout as well, but to not avail and her disappoint. Too cute though.

I had a lot of work to do to ensure that this world was safe. Perhaps that's what I might do. Once I've dealt with Kynesgrove and Shearpoint, that I'd take them both to the farm. I went up to Brynjolf and Ayisha, hugged them both and informed them what we were going to do now. I had this set, and I needed to do it right and it was part of my journey. Brynjolf nodded and smiled. Damn that made me weak. And Ayisha cuddled me, which warmed my heart. We made haste and made the trip to Kynesgrove.

Thank the Gods at least there's something I could do.


	49. Kynesgrove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf debates his beliefs and important info as Petra has to prove to a certain Blade that she truly is Dragonborn.

 

When the lass told me that we were going to go to Cyrodiil, I wouldn't have believed it.

But she was insistent that we go to Kynesgrove first, but didn't want to divulge much other than dragon investigations. I think to her shame that it might have been a dragon hidden there. I doubt that she wouldn't have told me the whole story otherwise. Arngeir had told me to tread carefully before we left the monastery. Now the lass was formally inducted as Dragonborn and able to be trained to use her abilities properly, I saw that she was a bit more confident in herself, but saddened by other prospects.

I think, after our little argument last night that she was more open about this entire possession thing. Arngeir confirmed the details of a little red book that contained dragon priest lineages throughout time. I was quite shocked to hear the suggestion that...myself am possibly a descendant.

My father was an overzealous Talos Priest, as mentioned. He would have been a Priest of Akatosh or what ever otherwise if circumstances forced him otherwise. I was beginning to believe that my own father had his own set of secrets that he never gave me the chance to inquire about. And I had that feeling ever since I was a lad.

Petra was, to say the least, mortified, but she stuck by me, saying it wouldn't matter who or what I was...that she would love me anyway. The lass warmed my heart with those sentiments. I know it's difficult for her to cope. She wants me to be okay and I want to be okay for her, to make sure I stay in control and discover and sort out as much as we could.

Going back to what we were doing slowly became less an option for us and an impossible way for us to deal with our lives. I enjoyed my time, work was good, coin was good. But I've been questioning too much and I simply don't know what to think. What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to be? In life? And if I'm a descendant of a Dragon Priest and I'm being possessed by it, what hope is there to return to the Guild?

I saw it in Petra's eyes that she wants to solve it. I believe she will. If it were up to me, I'd pull the same stunt she made when she was a Vampire and isolate myself so I don't hurt anyone. I figure, that without Petra there with me, I would have possibly just...don't really understand what would happen. It's not something I'm entirely used to it and I want it out now. I just see and somewhat understand Petra's reasoning, but it doesn't mean I have to, nor do I need to.

I had to be patient and tenacious. To find out more on what was going on and see if it can be dealt with, with minimal cost.

* * *

Petra, Ayisha and I went back down the mountain and took the horses around the path to Kynesgrove. She was scrupulous in fighting a dragon head on. She'd told me about the lineage fine, which I was remotely surprised with like I said previously, but to her, it's just something else I've burdened her with. I appreciate her worrying about me but I'll be fine. Really...

She had Ayisha with her, being a curious cat, was busy looking around the place as butterflies flew past us. I'm trying to also figure out what role she could possibly have in all of this. Her...prayers that temporarily stop or to at least resist the magic that takes hold of me.

I shouldn't be thinking too hard. I know Petra was, her eyes dead in front of her, piercing and hard. There's an inflamed passion in her heart but she doesn't know how to use it properly. I've seen her kill dragons and it's a terrifying display of ferocity you would never see otherwise. We're more of the practical sort, trying to survive in these cold harsh lands. But that is the dragon side of her escaping through her teeth.

I can't stop her from worrying, if that's what she's doing.

"I know that look lass...are you still thinking about what Arngeir said?" I asked her, breaking the silence.

She looked a me with bone-dry expression.

"Arngeir told me of your father. While I was surprised at first that you two knew each other, I was more curious as to why your father neglected to tell you. I..I know it sometimes feels like everything surrounds me, but I'm wanting to know...did you father know about your ancestors?" She queried.

I shook my head.No sense in hiding stuff she already knew.

"No. He only told me that he came to be a Priest because of some nonsense about wanting to be one since he was a young lad. I don't know what that meant. I've suspected for a long time that my father had tonnes of hidden secrets he never told me. About mother, about all the nonsense that spilt out of mother. It was sad that I was the only one who ever believed her."

So many prophetic episodes made her very ill. Gave me chills. But the words she used them in never matched up to anything. But you know, those words were compared to bad omens. Father hated it.

Petra looked down.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad she had a son who loved her." She said with a small smile.

I grinned at her.

"I'm glad I have a woman who loves me." I told her.

Aye, made her blush and giggle, biting her lip the way she did. It's just to stir her up mostly. All in good fun. But I feel like every time I make her smile, the darkness in the world just disappears for the moment. But I hadn't told her what Arngeir mentioned the first time she was at High Hrothgar. I had to be straight. If it had to do with her being Dragonborn and all of this stuff that was happening to me...reminded me of my conversation while we were in the courtyard. Something that had been stirring in my mind ever since the headaches started.

* * *

Petra was with Ayisha, showing her the ropes of general shouting. She doesn't notice how motherly she's being, or maybe Arngeir made her realise something. Ayisha enjoyed the shouts and wasn't scared by them at all. I've never heard a Khajiit shout, but maybe Petra could teach her someday. If we all survive this of course. We will, I'm sure.

But as Arngeir stood next to me, I felt his previous words rise into my memory. What my father had said and done...and on how he was looking for the Dragonborn himself.  
Don't ask me why I never said anything because I never felt that it was important. Or maybe...no...I lie..why am I only remembering this now? This had to be because of the headaches, I'm certain, as ideas began to float about alongside words I'm only now starting to recall. Worst of all, will I tell this to Petra? 

"I haven't told her...that father was looking for her." I told him. Such words I'd never expected to say.

Arngeir lifted his chin. He was wary of my fathers work and I had a feeling that honestly never wanted him to come up in the first place.

"Hm...strange. And now, Petra and I had discussed the possibility of your own lineage in all of this. The Cult that is supposedly looking for you. And this was through the eyes of the khajiit girl here I believe?" He surmised.

I nodded. Though the words of the Violet Dragon kept coming back too. All this in such a short amount of time and I couldn't even grasp the meanings behind it.

"Aye, she's a smart lass. She has a unique type of magic that can't be explained. I'd been possessed and tried to hurt Petra but I blacked out." I said.

"Hmm..." Arngeir muttered.

"And you and Petra have talked a bit about this?"

I nodded in agreement.

"Aye. We weren't sure what's going on. We're getting the assumptions in but no raw evidence to put on display. So you two assumed it had to do with my lineage and didn't bother to inform me?" I argued.

Arngeir turned to watch Petra pretending to fight Ayisha. Cute display, really. But having discussions behind my back wasn't really helping.

"It's just a theory for now. If the Cult were looking for you and from what Petra had told me before that they were looking for the Khajiit, then I don't understand much of it at all. Forgive my ignorance on the matter of Khajiit customs. All I know is that they revere Akatosh as Alkosh, the Dragon King of Cats." He iterated.

Yeah, from what Ayisha had told me.

"She says she's a Priestess of the Moons. She's called on prayer to aid me. Does that give any help?" I wondered.

Arngeir just shook his head.

"The religious practice of the khajiiti is unknown to me. How that is connected to the Cult itself is anyone's guess. I gave Petra details regarding to finding a red book of lineage for you, to determine whether you are in fact a descendant. I suggest speaking with her about it...but the girl. All I'll say is keep her away from them. Don't know what the purpose is but it's obviously not good."

* * *

Petra and I definitely had an understanding once we did talk about it. It became clear to us to proceed with our continued investigation, but she absolutely urged caution in doing so. She was unwilling for me or Ayisha to get ourselves in danger. But for her to return to Cyrodiil...sounded more like she was running away. Although, she did just want us there until...

Shor's bones. Petra, I will not let you do this alone. Please don't do this. This concerns all three of us. We don't know what the reason for all this is. It gets me so frustrated and...she may want to talk about what can be done and what to look for, but she refused to let me in on how she was going to do it. No...I can't let her do that.

We reached Kynesgrove that late afternoon. The weather changed quickly, the skies grey and the wind had picked up dust and leaves and scattered them all over the place. I had a bad feeling about it, but Petra remained vigilant. She struck me as having developed herself quite a bit. We left our horses nearby as she desperately wanted to leave Ayisha and myself by the Inn, but I couldn't. I don't want to leave Petra by herself. I've seen what she's like with dragons.

But the whole town was in panic and fleeing, and the sound of roars and gushing winds scurried them off. Petra stood there, deathly still and looking in the distance. It was only upon closer inspection that she was actually shaking. Damn it woman, why do you do this to yourself? I told you, I was going to give you support. Don't force me to hide.

I ran in front of her, trying to catch her eye. Her mouth was shut as she refused to look at me. Look at me Petra...

" _LOOK AT ME!_ "

I think I frightened her as I shouted all of a sudden, but I got her attention.

"You came here for a reason. You knew a dragon was going to be here." I said, realizing her intentions.

She was shaking more violently now, crying again, her words were slurred and stuttered.

"I was...I was told...to prove myself as Dragonborn...I have...I have...to k-kill this dragon. She has answers for us Bryn...possible reasons for the dragons return!"

I shook my head with disbelief. I don't mean to be like this. But if she's ever going to learn to get over her fear, she needs to hear these words. I'd promise to make up for it later.

"Who told you? That Breton woman?" I asked her sternly as I grasped on her arms even tighter. Her eyes told me she knew but her mouth still wasn't opening.

"Petra, you consult this with me from now on...I don't want you running off because someone's told you to do something. You relayed your concerns prior and that was fine. Don't just change your mind because you're incredibly discerned something bad will happen to us...you're..."

I realised something...abstract about Petra. She was good at following orders, but it felt more like she was obliged to follow all the instructions she was given. She follows orders to survive. But this time she was the one giving orders. Orders for us to live...but there had to be more than that.

"Arngeir...suggested that the reason why I can gather the courage to suddenly kill them is because that you're in danger and my instincts tell me to kill, because they've harmed you. Riften...Morthal...both times you were injured and both times I fell into a ravenous lust to destroy. If you're with me, you're subject to that and I don't want that to happen. I need to learn to do this on my own. I fear your death more than I fear them and...if I lose you I'll lose myself..."

My eyes widened. All that power, because I was putting myself in danger...

That day on the road...Petra and I hid behind the rock...I had willingly placed my life on the line so she could live. She pulled me down...and screamed and killed it herself with great weight placed on her shoulders...

"No one is prepared for Dragons lass..." I said calmly.

Her head fell as her shoulders shook as she cried.

"I have...I have to be. I am the Dragonborn! But you...you and Ayisha...there will be times that I have to do this on my own and I can't have you both die on me..." She stuttered.

I looked over as I continued to hear dragons roars. We had bigger concerns. I lifted her chin and forced her to look at me again.

"Petra, you're an incredible woman, believe me. You severely underestimate yourself and me too. I can't have you die either because the other spirit hidden within me told to kill you. We need to watch out for each other. And Ayisha. We're together because we need one another Petra. We need to communicate...and when we said we were going to open with each other, we have to mean it. It's okay to admit your worries, your reluctances..." I said, becoming weaker towards the end.

She sniffed.

"Then...why won't you let me do this? You say I underestimate myself yet I can't do it on my own. It...it looks like you have trouble in letting me go..." She cried.

I looked down. That was true. I didn't want to let her go. I kissed her passionately for the few moments. Forgetting Ayisha was there briefly of course. I then caressed her cheek.

"I love you, Petra. I need you and I need confirmation that you're okay. Sounds selfish, but I also need you to keep watch on me..."

I understand what I had thought earlier of abandoning Petra was probably a good idea, to not let myself harm her when it was out of my control. But then, given Petra's capabilities...she's the only one who might be able to stop me if it ever gets that far. And Ayisha...I felt like I was only taking from the young lass with her rituals and spells to keep me in check. But, I know we are all stronger, together, as a team and I just know deeply, in my heart, that we can figure this out. And we'll need to do what we can to solve it.

She nodded.

"...I-I love you Brynjolf...I need to protect you...I...just...need to kill this dragon...don't worry, I'll have help. Keep yourselves hidden. Please?" She pleaded.

I smiled. Any time she says she loves me is a day with a perfect sunrise.

"We'll do the best we can. I'll come running if you need any help, just call me." I told her.

* * *

We made it up the hill, to see a huge black, spiky dragon flying in the air and a strange ritual happening on top of a large mound. Ayisha and I kept watch and hidden behind a set of bushes and a tree, while Petra met up with the Breton woman she was talking about. I listened in to the black dragon as it muttered something in the dragon language. Ayisha clung onto my arm as she looked at it and whispered something about the son of Alkosh...I was confused but then...

The chants, the words from the dragon made more sense to me. I felt an aura around me as I fell in and out of consciousness and their words echoed in my mind. No...please. Don't let this happen...

But there was no proceeding headache. But I listened to their conversation and I could strangely understand it. The large black one was Alduin, the World-Eater himself. Here. But then I recall Petra talking about a large, black spiky dragon attacking Helgen...

Oh..Gods..no...I have a strange sense of what's going to happen next.

After Alduin resurrected the dragon, Sahloknir, in a magic unbeknownst to anyone here. He ordered his underling to attack Petra, offended as Petra's nobility as Dragonborn that she couldn't even understand their language.

The blonde breton was the first to strike, while Petra stood there, trying so hard to force herself to get moving, but she was hard as stone. Come on... She had to be sussing it all out in her head, even with the breton attacking the beast with arrows...

 _Breath Petra_...

The Dragon flew around, shouting fire everywhere. She had to get it in her head. She can do it...she definitely...

_We believe in you Petra..._

_Bring out Nocturnal within you..._

She must have heard what I was whispering as she conjured her Nightingale Armour around her, covering herself in shadow and luck. She eventually pulled out her bow and started firing, albeit her aim was off and her arms were shaking from fear. I could almost sense the pain of it all. What made it worse was that if that dragon really was the one from Helgen, then she could be reliving it all over again. But she had more a chance than she did back then to defeat it.

I heard Ayisha's prayers to Alkosh, speaking in her tongue but must have been giving Petra the support of the Gods. I clasped my own hands together, albeit I never had my own beliefs or heavy worships that I wanted to partake in. My own father spoiled it for me and look now what I was doing. I watched Petra's struggle to fight. I could imagine her tears as I heard her scream. Those was screams cut from a double edged sword. She was testing herself but I...

She managed to get a few arrows in there, with the help with the breton. It's landing shook to very earth, almost tipping her over.

I must be out of my mind to consider my next move. I pulled out an Amulet of Talos of my pocket and looked at it briefly. I certainly have a collection of amulets and trinkets that I've stolen over the years. Like my mulet. I keep it close to me. Don't ask me why. Father gave it to me and told me to keep it with me. I never used it, nor did I need to do. He promised it would help out with my shouts if I ever followed the Way, but I was imbued with so much hatred and was incredibly repulsed by the very idea that it was impossible for me to even follow or learn.

Why didn't I throw it out? I don't know. For sentiments sake? To remind myself not to go down that extreme path?...I...just...I..

I clasped my hands tighter amongst the confusion clouding in my head, coinciding with the growing storms around us. I honestly didn't want to do it, but seeing Ayisha...  
I'm not inclined to follow religion but I want to follow the logics that work. I need answers, real answers. Real solutions with practical purposes. I'm not going to be a Priest who is under obligation to speak to someone I can't see or hear to get them to what, smite my enemies? Bah. I know the real world well enough that it needs to be there and now and not everyone can wait for a miracle. But...Petra's taking chances. She's in a scheme, a contract like none other. She wants to get it right so badly. Personally, if I hadn't seen what I had already, I wouldn't have taken it seriously enough. But from my own experiences, especially with myself being thrown about by seen and unseen forces, I myself have to take chances as well because I damn well understand, I can see in front me, that to combat this, was to match it head on, with the same amount of strength. Even if it was filled with uncertainty. So here I go...

_Dear...Talos..._

_Petra is in need for your guidance. She is of the dragon blood, like you once were. She has the great power, like you once had. She is your progeny born of time immortal, driven to slay Alduin...her heart tells her to kill, but it doesn't tell her to see, to get the broader horizon. She fails to understand and she wants to so badly, but her phobia prevents her..._

_I've never been your biggest admirer. I joined the Thieves Guild. I liked it there. I still do. They became my home and my true family. And then I fell in love with your successor. Are...are you telling me something here? Because I'd lost faith a long time ago and now she's here and she's making me realise that maybe some of those lessons were true and honest...on how we are honourable to ourselves and our kin...we can achieve if we just try...Sovngarde will only take the worthy in the end...if Alduin wins though, even then that's not a guarantee._

The storm got worse as I watched Petra take out her swords and struggle to move out of the way in time. The Breton woman often intervened, which made me angry slightly. The way she aggressively pushed Petra out of the way. I grumbled. Ayisha put her hand on my arm to stop me from going forward. The Khajiit was right, but I still wasn't happy about it.

The time came when Petra's meek fury came into force as she shouted in the dragon's face with Unrelenting Force in all it's three-worded glory and started slashing it to death. Even with it dead, she continued to strike it to the point of exhaustion, panting heavily as she cried.

She gave up shortly after as the dragon started to burn. Her cloak disappeared into the void as the breton woman came up to her in awe, as the dragon spirit was absorbed by her. It always took a lot out of her, as Petra fell to her knees. Ayisha and I ran up to her, surprising the Breton woman and forcing her to go on the defensive. I knelt down beside Petra and rubbed her on the back as she was slouched and rocking, shaking and weeping.

"You did good...really good. I'm proud..." I reassured her with a smile.

Ayisha went to her other side and hugged her.

"Ayisha pleased to see you rid of that monster mama."

The Breton womans eyes widened with surprise, don't know whether or not she expected this type of welcome party but...

I looked up at her with angry eyes. Though I began to recognize her face.

"Are you satisfied? You wanted to prove she was actually Dragonborn?" I said coldly.

The woman raised her hands in defense.

"She mentioned...nothing of this. I would have thought, of all the stories that were going around that you're just able to take the damn things down. She helped me find this place herself. I know she was capable first hand..." She explained.

Petra shook a bit in short intervals as I heard her start hacking. Oh...right.

"Excuse us..."

I got her up and walked her towards the bushes nearby and let her hurl her...contents out. After she was done, she was all sweaty and flustered and held herself. I assisted her to stand. She could definitely do this without me interfering. But this had to be the best progress I've seen this far. She was getting better at forcing herself to take heed and to take control of herself. She can bring her dragon spirit forward without instinct getting her out of control. She still released the rage...at least.

She still needed our help regardless. I walked her back to the Breton.

"Sorry about that...she just gets queasy that's all." I told her.

The breton rose an eyebrow.

"I'll bet. She can do it...if I'd realised that she was this way, I would have never forced her to do so. I thought she was just...cowardly in general." She commented.

I heard Ayisha hiss at the statement, surprisingly.

"Mama is brave. Mama has courage. She risks her life. Your opinions do not matter." Ayisha said outright. Wow...young lass, colour me impressed.

The woman crossed her arms. She didn't bother to argue.

"She did help me kill the damn creature. I'll give her that. But I owe her some answers. And I prefer we talk about this in private..." She said.

* * *

We made sure the coast was clear as the lass introduced herself as Delphine, member of the Blades. That's where I knew the face. The Blades once protected the Septim Emperors but they were originally formed to be dragonslayers and that the Dragonborn was once renowned as the ultimate Dragonslayer. We all knew the story, but the Blades were hunted down by the Thalmor during the Great War and most believe they were all extinct. Until now.

She summarised a theory about the dragons being resurrected and excused herself to return to Riverwood and that if we find ourselves in that area that we should visit her as soon as we could to figure out more. I would have been glad to have someone else on board, unless Petra had other plans.

Which she did. We both did.

I told her we'll get down there in due time to discuss extra details if necessary. She acknowledged that and made her way back home to Riverwood. 

As for us, we settled in at the Braidwood Inn and got ourselves a room. I got Petra something to eat as we got her in the room, laying on the bed. Ayisha was sitting next to her with her head on Petra's shoulder. Petra herself was distant and rubbing her head. She must have been dehydrated, so I got her a mead. She sipped it and placed on the desk next to her. I sat on the edge of the bed, holding her hand and rubbing her fingers with my thumb.

"You're doing well lass, you really are..." I told her once more. By now, you know Petra's the anxious type who will always need that positive feedback. Bouncing back from such trauma never bodes well for her, if you understand what she's been through thus far. Be angry with her and she'll shut herself away and brood.

"That's another one down..."

She swallowed, then she sighed.

"Delphine was right. I have to stop being so cowardly..." She groaned.

I put my other hand on top of hers. She had to stop seeing herself like that. She's never been one with high self esteem either, constantly putting herself down like she does.

"You and I both know that's been an ongoing issue. It's not entirely your fault." I reassured.

Petra seemed to disagree.

"The black dragon struck a chord. Helgen. Brought back what didn't need to be brought back Bryn...but my father told me to...just do the hard work even if you hate it. And I will...just need..."

"Time?" I finished off for her.

She nodded and scrunched her spare hand into a fist.

"Yeah. Because I must, that I will...that the pain will strike me down...but I have the ability to stand up again...and I can protect you and Ayisha here. And I will do that...if I have to cry..I'll cry. I..." She said, as she grew tense again.

I grabbed her chin then leaned and gave her a quick peck. Lass just needs to unwind.

"Shh...don't...over do yourself. Just be calm and relax...okay? And I'm sorry for yelling at you like that earlier. I was only giving you tough love." I said.

She nodded, blushed and giggled.

"Alright...I'll try. Your love is tough enough." She responded, in a flirty tone.

That night was peaceful enough to my surprise. I had the both the girls on me as I laid down in the middle with my lover on my right and my...cat? On my left. Must been a strange sight to see for some people. It is a funny thought I'll admit. I know in some circumstances that we'll argue over stupid things. But when you care about someone like I do, you often do stupid things to make sure the others okay. I was contemplating it for myself. But what can you do? I know for now that prayer...may or may not work. Ayisha's probably more..powerful or potent even. She's a brilliant lass. No doubt.

But Petra...laid there, content and less tense than she was before. Her breath gentle. Her mouth formed a minor smile, but you had to be as close as I was to see it. She's a beautiful woman...she just needs to give herself more credit. She doesn't sell her exploits with great detail. Never has. I'm like that. I'm not saying she should be arrogant, she just needs to find the confidence within herself. I know she has it there, I've always seen that. To bring it out requires a push.

It made me think about things. About the future and how we would see ourselves within a decade or two. If we managed to solve the dragon crisis, figure out what's wrong with me and all the other stuff in between, that where would we land? But when your faith is lost it's hard to regain. But it's getting there bit by bit and there is some truth on all the beliefs that you have. You just need to experience it. Like I have.

The world itself is built on strange magics and divine interventions and chaos that destroys. I've felt more strongly about this than anything I've ever felt before. I wondered, if...

I would have to psyche myself up for it, but the way that Petras progressing, we could finish this sooner than we might expect. That...well, maybe, I don't know, one day that...I might...consider...

Wearing the Amulet of Mara and propose? The very thought is intimidating but...

Thank the priests who sold me one at the Temple. I might need it some day.


	50. Shearpoint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Co. head to Shearpoint to find the infamous red book, but end up finding out a lot more than what they wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for a lot of untranslated Draconic.

 

I did okay, I think. I know it wasn't the best sort of...sight to see, but I know that I had help which is fine, I don't know if there's shame in not doing it alone. You think yourself Dragonborn and suddenly you're instantly strong enough to kill them on your own. But that's hardly been the case. People have helped me whittle them down for me to start attacking but... Delphine had explained that her group, the Blades, were once a collective of dragonslayers and that my role, or my predecessors roles were the ultimate dragonslayers. She was trained but after the Great War she'd been trying to find a purpose for herself and the Blades, after they'd been hunted down by the Thalmor.

I'd moved, for once but it took great effort on my part. I was afraid, but utilised and focused on aim and attack. My whole body was arguing with me but I had to force myself to move even a single step. The pressure had mounted. It's an interesting situation for sure, but when you're swimming with just...a sea of emotion that swells like mine, you're in a rut.

When I saw Alduin I panicked, my heart threatening to escape from my chest, the hot flushes, the watery eyes. Everything that accompanied and forced me to remember Helgen. The flames, the seared flesh...I...I can't...ugh...

It...it still makes me sick. The shakes and...Oh Gods, I still hear the screams...just...

Brynjolf took us back to the nearby inn. I was okay, but him and Ayisha kept smiling, saying I was doing great. But...when you're like me, you never really believe it. You can assume, but you can't say for sure. The others, they have their opinions and I'm supposed to take them as comfort but...

They're too good for me. I know they're just being nice, but I need to step the game up. I have to make sure that all of this...all of what I am and what I'm trying to do will mean something in the end. I'd rather not have Bryn involved, but...he can handle himself and I just can't help but worry...I need to be strong. Be strong Petra. You are capable. But you...just...

I relaxed a bit more, the time to bide myself and recuperate was now. To get back all the strength lost in the turmoil and the effort involved was huge. I...would never be able to take a dragon lightly.

It took strategy but it ultimately took guts and a lot of instinct. To pride myself in bringing out the spirit within me and taking charge. That's where I am meant to be.

I see a goal to just be better than I am because it's just how, in my mind, it should be. My own worry is that I psyche myself up and tell myself I am prepared, I am ready! Then once you find yourself in front of a dragon, it mostly falls apart very quickly, like a heavy armour that melts away.

But it's not just for me. It's for Brynjolf. It's for Ayisha...it's for everyone here dying because of my phobia. I bear every burden every death by dragon because I am not there. I am, supposed to be where they are, saving lives and protecting the weak. But I am a Thief, I act with guile and selfishness and constantly breaking the law. But now we weren't on the behalf of the Guild, but my own mission here. I don't want people to think I am the ideal person to be Dragonborn and the epitome of all Nords.

I'm definitely not. This has to be not in the knowledge of who the dragonborn is and how that, when hearing my adventures that they speak of a champion but not speak of she who has the power to slay dragons and steal their power.

Brynjolf would tell me it's not my fault. I can't be every where at once because I am the only one who can do it. I am mortal and that the Gods themselves know that. And wouldn't have otherwise if they felt that I couldn't.

* * *

I was fine in the morning as we ate breakfast and made our way out of Kynesgrove, the sky a bit cloudy but fine, and on our way to Shearpoint, to find the book to determine Bryn's real lineage. From what he's told me that his father was a terrible man. To be..controlled like that. It's terrible. I don't imagine that bodes well with anyone's psyche. But Bryn pulled through and was fine. I really do wish I had his strength.

It made me want to protect him more.

We trekked passed Fellglow Keep, and far up the mountains to seek out the area. I had a gut feeling about something, so we stopped and I got off my horse. My heart wrenched and I closed and opened my fist. Brynjolf stood next to me.

"Something up there lass?" Brynjolf asked, wondering why we stopped.

I didn't know, but...I know finding this book was our priority. But...

I kept Ayisha close. A dark power was clouded nearby as we got back on our horses and went the rest of the way. I...sensed something. A brooding energy...a warning..

It wasn't until we reached the summit that we'd made a terrible mistake. I stopped dead in front of a dragon, sleeping on top of a word wall and some strange black sarcophagus.

My eyes widened, locked onto the dragon itself. I couldn't cope with another dragon so soon, I just couldn't...

Brynjolf got off his horse and walked forward. I didn't want him going any closer.

"Papa! W-" Ayisha called out, before I put my hand her mouth.

But it was too late.

The Dragon lifted it's head up, awakened. Brynjolf got out his bow as I got mine out. The dragon flew upwards and around as it roared and sent echoes down the valleys nearby. Brynjolf was cautious as he started firing at it. I ordered Ayisha to hide and take the horses with her as I jumped off my horse and went to go assist Bryn.

But there it was again. That phobic sickness came in. One foot after the other Petra...Move it.

It was agonising to do so. I didn't want to see it but the rush and the halting of my blood made things extremely difficult. Nocturnal, give me the luck to move!

I donned the armour again, needing to protect myself against the harshness of the cold breath shout it was casting. Brynjolf did the same as he continued to fight it.

I felt the deepness of the horror, knowing he was fighting anyway. No, Brynjolf just stop!

"Petra...I know this is hard for you!" He yelled out to me, barely avoiding the freezing shout.

"I promise not to die on you."

I scrunched my eyes and pulled out my bow and grabbed an arrow. Time slowed around me as every step took every inch of my strength, and I was still mentally exhausted from yesterday.

"Bryn...I..."

The Dragon dived over me, forcing me to drop down a bit and cover my head and violently shake.

I then saw the sarcophagus pop open, with a strange type of draugr floating out of it and screaming like a banshee.

It adorned stranger types of garb and a mask and wielded a staff. I couldn't recongise it, but as we made struggle, Bryn withdrew his weapons and stared at the creature. I witnessed his eyes going dark and finally black, giving off an odd calmness and his face still as he stared it down. No...this couldn't be what I thought it was...

I pressed myself combating the dragon and it killed me from the inside, my stomach ill with anxiety. No...go Petra! You know what that creature was...

A Dragon Priest.

The dragon disappeared for the moment as the Priest wasn't hostile, as it looked at Bryn, as if he was familiar to him.

" _Zoklotinhaar"_ The Priest spoke as if greeting Brynjolf like an old friend.

Bryn had his hands by his sides as he continued to stare at the Priest in a weird conversation. I snuck around, seeing Bryn's face as deathly pale with black vein streaks coming out from his cheeks and his forehead. I myself froze with fear, knowing I couldn't move. No Bryn, come back...his eyes...no soul to them...just...I couldn't see.

" _Krosis..._ " Brynjolf muttered, the power of a thousand echoes booming.

" _Fahvos dreh hi gufahdey voth hokzii do un in?"_ The Priest spoke.

I wasn't sure what he was saying, only that it was in dragon tongue. I felt a tug on my hand, feeling the fur of Ayisha's fingers. She kept behind me, invisible.

"They speak...Papa is not Papa but the spirit of the Priest within." She whispered to me.

This...this whole ordeal was to help stop this from happening but no! This just made it a lot worse. Arngeir, you better have not lied to me.

" _Dreh hi lost faal Sahqo Deykel?_ " Brynjolf spoke again. His face...his manner. It just wasn't him. I could feel his spirit gone and...it's just heartbreaking to see but I couldn't move myself. This...I can't...Bryn please stop!

" _Hi fen siiv vahzen til. Hi lost Alduin's hundah. Daal wah mii, ahrk mu fen drun faal Bron rigir ko uth fah un in!_ " Krosis worded. I heard the word Alduin but that was about it.

I breathed heavily as Ayisha clung onto me. What am I supposed to do? What I am I supposed to know? I can't...

" _Faal Dovahkiin los dii in. Dii lokal fah ek lokiig irkbaan ko dii hil!_ " Brynjolf roared, suddenly ferocious and defensive and sending out greater chills as his face became more twisted and filled with hatred. What I would give to understand what they were saying...but...Dovahkiin...I understood. I fell to my knees and whimpered. They were being talkative at least, but...

" _Hi. . . . un zeymah. kinbok do un uth. Hi fen ni vodein Alduin's mil. Faal Zaag do Kriind fent lost hi, faal Dovahkiin ahrk faal Raziir ahrk fen fent drun hi rigir nol vorohah ahrk siir daar lein. Vuun zaan nii! "_ Krosis boasted...at least, I think he was boasting. The only words I could get were Alduin and Dovahkiin again...but I was totally locked out of this conversation.

Ayisha hugged me even tighter revealing herself, obviously worried. I forced myself to take care of her. But I too, was unsure of what to do...given I don't know what they were speaking of, but they were having an intense debate.

"The Priest speaks of reclamation of this land and serving Alduin. He calls Papa as his brother. Zoklotinhaar." She told me.

I looked at her with disbelief.

"How do you know the dragon language so well?" I questioned.

She looked down.

"You wouldn't believe Ayishas who says that she had stolen a dragon's tongue. Mama won't understand. But Ayisha now understands why they need her." She answered.

I browed, unsure but all I could do was make assumptions.

"Because you are a Priestess of the Moons?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"Ayisha's story begins in Elsweyr. Her power as Priestess is not gifted by training but honed by it. You and Ayisha are not so different." She admitted.

I blinked. What?

"You're right, I don't understand..." I muttered.

The Priest and Brynjolf continued to have a chat...but...

" _Hi los maht enlaag zeymah. Mu fent praad hi nol hin laag ahrk gron hi wah dahrin!"_ Said Krosis.

I turned to Ayisha to look for a translation. She glanced intently at the pair.

"You are still asleep brother. We shall awake you from your slumber and bind you to reason! " She interpreted.

The roar of the Frost Dragon was heard, and the dragon returned by shooting up from behind us and attacking us once more. I ordered Ayisha to hide while I picked myself up again with a heavy heart.

Krosis and Brynjolf fought as well...but Krosis had frost magic while Brynjolf only had his Nightingale armour and assorted melee weapons. I don't...this wasn't going to end well at all.

You will not touch Brynjolf!  **NO!**

I charged at Krosis as he inhaled and shouted the first words for Unrelenting force, but I solved that by sticking my Nightingale blade into his throat and cut it.

"Too bad my blade is sharper than your throat!" I taunted, then pulled the blade out.

I saw the Dragon flying around again as Brynjolf had gave the rest of his attention to it. Oh Gods help me. I quickly dealt with Krosis, as he was easier, but I always kept my eye on Bryn. His power, undeniable. He was more swift and agile than normal. But it wasn't him. It wasn't.

He cast a spear of frost to me, I panicked then remembered.

" _FEIM!_ "

I got that shout at Ustengrav. Ethereal or something I believe, my body became one as a spirit for the moment and the ice spike went right through me. I glared at Krosis and charged again slicing the Priest to pieces.

"Don't you  _dare_  Speak with Bryn like that! Do not bring him down to your level, understand me?" I yelled, all my fury went into repeated slices like I always do.

The power of my dragon self empowered me, the strength returning as I continued to ruin Krosis's day. I roared and I became more than myself for that moment, like I always do.

My final attack came with the clashing of weapons. I ended up kicking him back and used both Chillrend and the Nightingale Blade to take it's head off.

Good riddance.

But the Priest itself turned to ashes, it screamed, leaving behind only it's strange bronze mask, having greenish aura to it. I tucked it away, finding Brynjolf continuing to fight, but then he'd run out of arrows and brought out his dwemer blade. I took a deep breath as the phobia made itself known once more.

The Frost Dragon was now land-bound as I took every step carefully and analysed myself. Go...Petra... **JUST GO!**

But Brynjolf's swings and just general ferocity were nearly comparable to my own dragon-selfs fury. No...I simply refused to get him injured yet again. I ran up to Brynjolf and pushed him out of the way then jumped on the dragon itself and hacked at it again, the dragon-self screaming as it did. My heart was pounding through my head and I'd almost lost balance as the phobia battled with me as well. Everything was so shaky and awkward but. I must! I must!

I stabbed it unceremoniously through it's skull, forcing me yell in agony and released frustrations. I then fell off the dragon and on the ground with the strength just dissipating. With a tightened throat it was hard to claim air once again. I was sick, but...at least I wasn't vomiting, which was a plus.

I absorbed it's soul and commanded the Nightingale armour away. I laid on my side in the snow, trying to get myself to calm down. Breath damnit...

I heard hastened footsteps. It was Ayisha who jumped on me. It caused me to smile.

"Mama, you're okay!" She called out.

I hugged the girl. I was getting waaaay too used to this mama business. But it wasn't that bad.

"I'm fine. Where's papa?" I asked.

I heard more footsteps. I looked up as a shadow overcast on me, seeing the big red-headed bastard looking over.

"Right here." He said outright with a grin on his face.

I felt relieved he was back to normal. He picked me up and got me on my feet and rubbed my head.

"Oh good...good. Dragons...dragons dead...just Bryn?" I said.

"Yeah?" He replied;

I smirked. Thank the Gods.

"Just don't do that again." I told him outright.

He just shrugged, then pulled out a red book with a gold binding.

"Noted. I thought you wanted to read it. However, it's in another language. Possibily Daedric. Ayisha?"

The Khajiit shook her head.

"Ayisha cannot read Daedric. Only Dragon." She announced.

Brynjolf thumbed his chin.

"Hm...I might know of a guy who might be able to. An old friend in southern Skyrim. Has a property near the border of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. I know you want to head there so I'm happy to head down there if you so choose. You're the Dragonborn after all...it's your journey."

Awfully kind of him to change his mind, not to mention a little odd. I just didn't want either Ayisha or him to get hurt. The Khajiit clasped her hand with mine and gripped tight.

"Ayisha doesn't want to Mama...Ayisha wants to stay here with you!" She cried.

I frowned and kneeled down before her.

"You and Papa are very important to me. You'll be fine with my parents. They're nice people."

Ayisha started tearing up. Poor girl, desperate to not let go. But...it'd be the only way. I don't want either of them subject to more dragon attacks. I rubbed the tears from her eyes.

"But...but..." She whimpered, voice quivering.

I hugged her.

"It'll be alright..."

* * *

After what had unfolded, Brynjolf...was unreasonably perky and all smiles. I wanted to tell myself it was nothing but I couldn't help but feel suspicious and worried, but the man said he was fine and adamant to find out his own lineage secrets. I took the words from the word wall, but I think I still needed time to understand some of them. I got one, which was Zul, which meant, voice. I wasn't sure how to use it but I got the gist of it.

We rode our horses to where ever Bryn's friend was and to find out what it meant for him and for the rest of us. But the further away he was from Skyrim, the better in my opinion. I never felt Ayisha cling on to me that tightly before.

We continued our trip down south on a rather splendid and clear day, then coming into the evening as we passed Riverwood. Brynjolf oddly didn't acknowledge sleeping the night at the inn, probably because he didn't like Delphine. I'll meet up with her afterwards, after getting Bryn and Ayisha settled with my mother and father.

I hadn't seen them in ages. Most likely tending to the farm still. It would give them happiness to let them know I'm still around. May not have made the choices that were the greatest, but I'm okay. That attack on that dragon was even better than yesterday and I was beginning to feel more confident within myself. Which was fantastic. The less I can worry about myself the more I can with Brynjolf and helping solve his problems as soon as I can. It's the least I can do for him.

I was curious as to what the book contained. Massive amounts of secrets and all kinds of interesting notes taken down as to who was related to whom. But the fact we needed it translated was a pain, but I wondered who Bryn's friend was.

Later on that night we came close to the border. I looked around the house Brynjolf mentioned. Probably high on the mountains or something. We had to get off our horses as we were on the path, but Bryn mentioned the property was nearby. Ayisha was scared but I assured her it's fine.

Brynjolf lead the road to the house itself, hidden amongst trees. We got higher up, seeing a cabin nestled in there. I nodded and went forward, seeing a small bonfire in the middle. I could barely see much, other than a balding nord with a red beard. He stood up and smiled at Brynjolf.

"Bryn! You...I can't believe it's really you!" The man said, elated to see him. He wore odd black robes with bronze plate shoulder pads.

Brynjolf nodded. Someone from the guild maybe?

"Aye. We need your help." Bryn acknowledged.

I looked around, smelling something off. I didn't notice Ayisha was shivering. It was dark and I could hardly see. But to my right, I saw something odd. A trail of blood, leading to...

Oh Gods...

I stood back a little. I saw dead bodies hanging off a pole, only lit by the flames of the fire. A blue dress for the woman...long brown hair...and the man...long greying hair and a...beard...wearing...

No...

_No no no no no no..._

I shook my head with disbelief as Brynjolf and the man talked.

" _Bryn..._ "

I shivered and I shook with ultimate despair and anxiousness.

Those...

**No...**

Can't be...

_Impossible._

" **BRYNJOLF!** "

Brynjolf turned to me as I called out to him. His eyes...black as the void and glaring at me.

He approached me and grabbed me by the throat. The other man came from the side and clapped his hands.

"Wow...did not actually think that would work..." He said surprisingly with sarcasm.

Ayisha started bashing on Brynjolf and ordered him to drop me. Only for him to kick her and sent her crashing against a tree and knocking her out.

" **AYISHA!** " I cried out.

No...this...Bryn..

"Brynjolf...you've got...to take...control!" I called out to him.

The bald man chuckled and crossed his arms.

"We've negotiated with several of the Dragon Priests and Krosis was the easiest to find. Sealing him on Shearpoint? Most open and easy area. I gave Arngeir the information for the book when I visited him last. Well, when I say me, I sent a courier. Didn't want the old man to get suspicious now did we?"

I tilted my head and gasped for air as Brynjolf tightened his grip.

"Who...who are you?" I spluttered.

The old man started pacing around.

"I'm a member of very old order. You may have heard of them. Or not. The Cult of Slaughter sound like anything in particular?" He asked, voice very smug and arrogant.

Oh...dear Gods...no.

"You're...the descendants of Dragon Priests. Should of have known you would have conjured this up..." I grumbled.

The man shrugged. Uncaring for my plight.

"I'm a humble Acolyte, who married a woman who contained a great power inside of her. But when my son was born that all changed. But it's foretold that you are the one to kill Alduin. Most of us knew of his eventual return. And the Dragonborn destined to stop him. My wife told me...that the one girl, with icy eyes and a hair of dark gold shall cross the border...the child of labor. I had scouts around the area in Cyrodiil. Your parents were helpful as well, but sadly, they were no longer useful as you can see..."

What? No...it can't be...don't cry Petra, don't cry.

"You're Brynjolf's father?" I croaked with disbelief.

"Yes. I am Prolg. I am the tamer of the mystical powers that my son wields. He is the last descendant of a very powerful dragon priest. So great, Alduin got him to lead the other Priests. But was killed by a Dragonborn."

No...no this...this isn't...

"So...you're going to kill me to get revenge?  **IS THAT IT**?" I roared, trying to break free.

"Our Dragon lord masters would surely reward us if we killed you ourselves...but LET THE SPIRIT AWAKEN!"

I looked at Brynjolf who was still, those eyes of unholy draconic darkness. I shook my head. It wasn't him, it wasn't him. But the letter I received. It made more sense. Why I had come back to Skyrim...the letter...

"You sent me the letter to come here..." I choked. I was shaking and trying to breath.

Prolg had the worst grin known to man.

"Of course. But then the bloody Legion got to you first and hindered our plans. But our group stuck to the shadows, like my son here and worked a way around that issue. We knew you would go to the Word Walls at one point. And Krosis was the basis. Shame that he had to die, but we'll find another Priest..."

I turned to Ayisha...no...

"You are not...serious. She isn't even a nord!" I called out.

Prolg just laughed.

"No way would we accept a cat as a Priest of our order. No! The Cult of Slaughter needs her as part of the ritual. Well, what she is is capable of the most interesting things. We went to Elsweyr to find a particular artefact and we found it."

I was more shaking with rage than with fear. Then I recalled Bryn's story.

"Bryn...ugh..I was told you were a Priest of Talos...why...what changed your mind? Talos was Dragonborn. WHY?" I cried out.

He clasped his fingers. I hate when sinister people do that.

"Talos was a good example of how a good leader ascends to god hood by doing great things for the world. Like you said, he was Dragonborn himself. We will do great things to the true father of dragonkind. Your...mortal parents may be dead now! But your spiritual father...you are consuming the souls of your brothers when you should be our ally! But, if we couldn't touch you then it would cause big barriers. We choose this because this is what it must be! Son! Take her down..."

Please Brynjolf don't do this! Don't...

I cried...I cried and I cried. Damn this is the most powerful and...most betrayed and conflicted feeling I've ever had. Why? WHY?

"I love...I love you Brynjolf please!" I called out.

Prolg laughed even louder.

"To think, that something is pathetic as love was destined to bring out the brilliance within him. Just as the curse was designed." He revealed.

Wait...Bryn...he was...he was a virgin because of this?

"Its poetic, worthy of a great tale. The power of the chosen makes love to her cursed prince, only to unlock the darkness with in him. I warned Brynjolf to lay off the ladies and away from temptation. My once lovely's wife's prophecy always said that passion would lead to disaster. It's all coming together quite nicely."

I'm so...desperate. The fires around me were charging as the world was lit in flames. No...

**NO!**

**NOT HELGEN AGAIN! STOP WITH THE SCREAMING! I CAN'T TAKE IT!**

**BRYNJOLF STOP!**

**PLEASE!**

" _Hin sil los do daar do un Dovah in. Nuz hi los joor ahrk los ni do faal Rah bahlaan. Hin sil. .. vozahlaas los bahlaan ko Sovngarde nuz in Alduin fen naak dilon til. Siiv drem Dovahkiin_." He spoke with a thousand echoed voices, snarling at me with those dead eyes of his.

Fire...fire everywhere and it's tearing me up. I can't escape. No! The air around us, heated up, making me sweat, making me sick and I can't stand it. This wasn't possible. I refuse to believe it. That isn't Brynjolf...that  _isn't_  Brynjolf...the fumes rise as Bryn tightens his grasp, making me yelp.

" **TAKE CONTROL BRYNJOLF PLEASE! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!** " I yelled as loud as I could.

" _Nox hi fah hin lokal. Zu'u los. .. krod."_ He muttered, his black eyes turning a bright blue, like...like those of the Dragon Priests...Dear Gods...no no no no no no...

I felt a sharp pain in my chest..and...

It went cold.

Mother...father...will I join you soon enough?

" _ **Nox hi.**_ **"**


	51. Untilted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

 

…..

…...

…...

…...

_Help...please...help me...please..._

I am on my hands and knees in the darkness...there's nobody here.

Help...

…...

…..

"PLEASE!"

I...these tears can't stop falling. Now I'm just being...pathetic...I'll just lay here, I hold myself in...hold myself.

…

…

…

I...I...

Feels cold...no fire though...

But the tears have dried out now at least. My eyes are wide open, just so I can actually see, not that I need to. I see on forever and beyond.

I can't move anymore...heh...had a feeling. Just...

…..

…...

…...

I want to get up. This is like Mercer all over again, I go through the flash backs at a quickened rate, but then I feel...numb...void.

Damn those echoes...they go on...mocking me...making me hear my own dumb voice.

….

get...up...

get...up...

These hands...quake in the presence of my phobia...now they don't move. I can't move anything but my own eyes and mouth.

Where I am, I'm either alive or dead...I don't know...I just...want Bryn. I miss Ayisha, but no ones here but me.

Dramatic...I don't want to feel sorry for myself. It piles up...and up until it implodes and you're left as an empty shell.

Why do I fail as a Nord? I am supposed to be fighting yet I run away scared all the damn time simply because Dragons scare me. But I don't want others to die! No! Just no! I hate being Dragonborn! I would have known in time the true meaning of it, but for me it just means being a little whiny bitch who can't do what she was born to do. I am wasting this on petty crying and vomiting. Ugh. Pathetic...useless. Pitable, feeble...fragile...Why couldn't I be been born something less special?

( _We all want to be something else, but you know the obstacles that get in your way..._ )

…..

…...

I... I should have stayed in Cyrodiil. Stayed on the farm with mother and father tending it away...would have ended up marrying some Imperial boy. Had kids...

( _Would life have stayed the same? Dragons attack all the same. Would have extended their reach.)_

No one would have died...everyone would...just...

( _Yet you fail to see the successes_ )

Mother and father would still be alive...and happy. I would be happy and now grateful.

( _You are blinded by your failures_ )

Brynjolf would have been fine and happy with the Guild and not stuck with plaintive old me. I have done nothing for him. I owe him too much and now I can never give him that chance. He would have found another woman. And they'd get up to mischief and they'd be able to kill dragons without anyone dying. Another Dragonborn.

( _Mercer would have literally got away with murder and the Guild would cease to be. Brynjolf could have been in your position and would died instead. You changed their fate with your being._ )

The Gods made a terrible choice. I am...simply a coward and a mess. I try so hard and I still...UGHHHHHHH

( _You are braver than you think you are_ )

And...I only kept alive by following orders.

( _And your choices saved the Guild from reckoning, but you know not to take orders that you're unsure of._ )

I have no orders...I have nothing...I...I don't know what to do...

( _You steal back what was stolen from you._ )

….

…...

…..

I feel safer here...no noise. No dragons...just me. Where no one can hurt me and I can't hurt anyone.

Maybe I should have gone to the Companions instead...

( _Fate would decree a lot more in store. Your choices are your own_ )

I'm useless.

( _Blinded by failure..._ )

I shouldn't receive praise for doing what was expected of me.

( _A lot would have expected you to fail. But you succeeded where they didn't. You cannot see that)_

I just want to sleep...

…

What? I heard footsteps...they're coming closer. I see...someone...in a robe and cloak of garnet, a hood of ruby and gold, long hair the colour of clouds pouring down like a waterfall from the sides of her hood, face hidden in shadow but eyes that were shining like diamonds. A woman made of jewels, but her armor was like it was made of stone, the shoulders in the shape of dragon heads as I saw her with her hands folding behind her back, like a high ranked soldier. She then pulled to hood off, allowing me to see the peculiar circle with a glowing drop diamond as the centerpiece. The remainder of her hair was tied up, revealing her bejeweled ears. It was nothing like I'd ever seen.

"You fall into the deep sleep Petra and you won't be able to wake up from the Nightmare...sorry about the corny metaphor but that's what you're saying you want and that's what you'll expect." the person called out to me. Her voice was calm but felt...confident and authoritative.

My eyes dropped down and I continued to stare at nothing.

"What can be worse than this?" I told her. I mean it was weird enough but not enough to fight back.

She started pacing around me.

"Staying away won't solve any problems. They'll get worse. Your heart is broken and your spirit shattered. It's not hard to see. These can be mended, fixed. With rebuilding strength and baring the bad to find the good." She worded.

I'm...just so tired...

"I don't...I don't know how to bring Brynjolf back. I've never...done this before..." I explained, voice quivering.

"If you know you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't. Simple." She explained briefly, though my minds all over the place. It hurts too much to think. But I have no idea who this was. I had...a few assumptions.

"Are...are you Sithis?" I questioned, voice soft and unsure. The Dark Brotherhood had uncanny methods.

She laughed at me.

"What? No! Why...never mind, too fragile for your mortal mind. A child of my order met you in Whiterun some time ago...no?"

I looked down at my hand, still wearing that ring that...that Torvan gave me. Wait...

"You're from...the Crusaders of Verity? The one he was..." I sputtered out.

"Yes that's me. Your heart reached out but with no one to reach to, it reached to me instead." She stated, making hand gestures like a business woman.

"So...you're a spirit stuck in the ring?" I wondered.

She chuckled.

"Sort of...let's just say I sealed a portion of my power inside it. Like an Avatar...but you are really speaking to me."

I didn't understand nor did I want to. I'd prefer I'd be left alone.

"So you have some kind of magic that's supposed to make me feel better?" I scolded.

I saw her head shake as she walked off and turned her back to me.

"No...I'm a guide. I have seen a lot in my time. Nothing really surprises me anymore." She complained, strangely.

"I have...Skyrim's best intentions at heart. I've watched the chaos unfold before you. It's a task I'm willing to undertake."

A task? She was...watching?

"Why didn't you just do something then?" I called out.

"I couldn't. Brynjolf was the first one you reached out when it was tough. He's not here and I'm here because we implanted the idea in your head to call us if it when all else had failed."

I...

…..

don't.

"My real intention is to help you get what you need in order to succeed. You're undermining and not placing value on your skills. So I'm going to ask you two questions. One, what do you need to do?"

I didn't...want to do this. I can't...

"I want...to save Brynjolf and Ayisha...and the world from Alduin." I answered.

The woman nodded.

"Very good. Second question, how are you going to get there?"

I closed my eyes. I don't know! I don't want to... this...

"I am not sure. I'm stuck here. And I have no...no...idea where Brynjolf would be..." I pointed out. I don't know what to do... she stood in front of me with her legs wide and arms crossed.

"Petra, you've helped claim the four main cities as Guild territory. Although Delvin and Vex helped you out but giving you the requests, you've earned the trust back. Which is filled with irony in a field full of flowers of lies. The Guild grew underneath your hidden influence. You cannot see it because you bog yourself down with everything in your life that went wrong. So...how are you going to go about it? You have resources that you brought back. And you should have full access to anywhere." The woman explained. I wondered, had I done enough?

"Don't you know where he is?" I asked.

"No...but you are connected with dozens of people around Skyrim. Speak to your contacts. I would recommend. The battle was lost but the war...the dreaded war still rages out there somewhere."

She spoke, trying to say I was one of the best. But it's not hard to follow orders. Getting there is a bit hard but with Nocturnal you're nearly bound to succeed each and every time.

"You know I would normally try my hardest..but I'm...done...I can't move..."

She squatted down next to me. I could see the outline of her face somewhat. Thin but a bit wide and a somewhat larger than average nose.

"A loss of will to live... It's hard to recuperate from but it takes real guts to get yourself moving again. I'll continue...you have automatically accepted this...as the last straw and the last nail...you feel this is the darkest you've ever been, a world clouded and fogged and you cannot see anything because you don't want to. The pain you feel is something waiting to explode. Don't know how many times I have to hammer the thought in your head Petra..."

I...I...

"You are what the Gods chose and chose for a reason! Being Dragonborn is not particularly your first choice. We must pinpoint the very heart of your fears. You consider yourself weak...when you are strong, you fear Dragons but you also fear yourself. Remember you are considered a Dragon and you power is great if not greater than the dragons themselves...this was meant...to take down Alduin and his brothers."

I don't deserve any of that. Look at her, getting up and pacing around me again.

"You have already taken down a sum of the giant immortal beasts and proved to them...they hunt you because they fear you! That's what supposed to happen. They attack you because they're so afraid of dying themselves. That they never had to experience it and for those who have since they're coming back to life, they will never forget a Dragonborn..."

I eat their souls. Big deal...

"Let me tell you the story of the First Dragonborn. He had...formidable power born in the era where Dragons ruled Skyrim. He was one of the most powerful as well. Killed the head of the Dragon Priest order."

I heard about that...that's...

"That's why the Cult hates me...my predecessor killed one of their own..." I worded...

She nodded.

"Yes...but at the same time, this Dragonborn was also a Priest and betrayed the group. The Cult sees you as affront...and the same spirit that killed their leader." She explained.

That's technically impossible but I...understood why they truly hated me.

"The Priests built temples and shrines in the name and glory of their dragon masters. The first Priest was a leader of a group of nords that commanded the slaves to tend. He was a politically important figure whom impressed the dragons with his willingness to serve above and beyond the duty, of the Dragon Gods themselves. He was a great tactician and wasn't afraid to kill his own people if they dared to defy the gods in anyway, despite their own tyrannical ruling."

Why hadn't I seen or read any of this? Don't...recall...

"The name was stricken for the records by the nords who took over the first Priests temple. His body was never found, but the Cult...their aim...their purposes. They've waited thousands of years for this moment..."

She seemed so knowledgeable about someone no one actually talks about. I'm aware of the Dragon Priests, IE Krosis, but...this was becoming more complicated.

"So the descendants have been waiting all this time?" I asked.

The woman nodded.

"The scariest part is you do not know who is still part of the Cult. It's really secretive. And they're doing their best to make sure that where they currently are isn't found. Could be anyone. Like Brynjolf's father." She replied.

Should have known. Well, maybe not have known but still...I was still numb, but if I was anyone, I would have been in panic mode. They have eyes and ears everywhere and you can't...you can't tell who's part of it!

"Use your resources to find out, Petra. I promise you that once you're ready, you can take control of yourself and move once more. Do not take too long...but you just need...need to believe Petra. Believe you can and that you will solve it."

I was...beginning to feel again...a type of sadness peaking through the numbness. I swallowed.

"I...just...it's just..."

"I've sent a message out to someone so they can take you home. Either find yourself again Petra...you can do that...or rot in catatonia and feel sorry for yourself. Remember it is your choice."

Choice...choice...my choice.

"Wait...who are you?" I called out as the woman started to walk away.

She smiled, I could see her teeth glistening through.

"I have had many names during my life and have gone through a lot more than you can imagine. So I stick to one that suits me best." She answered.

"You can call me...the Realm-Walker. I will still assist you where you can but in the end, it comes down to what you know you can do and the power to act. Without that power, it's hopeless. Find your spirit again Petra. Investigate...find...choose...act. And you will succeed. I will speak to you again soon..."

Wake Up!

* * *

I faded in and out of consciousness as I heard the cluttering of footsteps and thumping hooves. Shadows overcast me. I still couldn't move...but...

I also heard voices...familiar voices.

"Blimey what happened?" I heard a thick accented voice. I know it...I know it...

"I don't know, Karliah just received a message to pick up some cargo near the border. Didn't expect...well...this..." Sounded sharp and feminine. Knew that one too.

I saw trees rush by and I was somewhat bouncing about.

"I didn't see Bryn with her anywhere...hope he's alright..."

That's...Delvin!

"His horse wasn't at the Stables. According to the guys at the Stables the message was attached to her horse. That is one smart horse."

Vex!

I...was somewhat relieved. I'd missed them and the Guild. But...

I don't know...

I fell back into unconsciousness, then slowly woke up, seeing blurs but I could make out the brickwork and gushing sounds of water as I lay in my bed in the cistern. More shadows came over me and started talking.

"Shadows! What...what's the meaning of this?"

That soft voice of reason. Karliah...our Guildmaster.

"You sent us to retrieve the cargo as requested boss. We found her there, laying on the ground, bloody. She was just...lying in the middle of bloody road on the way to Cyrodiil..." Delvin explained.

So that's where I ended up.

"No signs of an ambush either. Doesn't sound right." Vex commented.

They moved me.

"Hm...did you see Brynjolf?" Karliah asked them.

Bryn...where are you?

"Nope. I heard she was from Cyrodiil. Maybe she was heading back home?" Delvin suggested.

No..I was betrayed.

"I doubt it Delvin. The girls got something to sort out. If she wasn't with Brynjolf, then he might still be in danger too. Seriously doubt those two would tear themselves apart from one another. Wouldn't be surprised if they're both screwing each other like rabbits."

Subtle Vex. But...she...was right.

About Brynjolf that is...

"I've been hearing stories of increased sightings of Dragons lately. Whether or not that's related is another matter. But my gut tells me that I don't like the looks of this. We'll question her when she wakes up..."

* * *

I waited until they left and opened my eyes. I couldn't move still. But...then my head...it started hurting. Brynjolf, I am...so so sorry...I began to weep. What happened to my realm of darkness where I turned numb. I sobbed. No one needed to see how distraught and weak I was. I am...no longer worthy.

Someone must have heard me as I heard shuffling nearby.

"Petra?" Karliah spoke. I knew she wouldn't have gone far. But she was sitting on the other side, as my back was against her. My body moved as I stuttered from whimpering I couldn't force myself around, the pain was too great that it just...filled my whole body with excruciating guilt and sorrow.

"Petra?"

My throat clogged up again, preventing me from speaking properly.

"Petra what's wrong?"

Everything.

"Where's Brynjolf?"

The fire reacted my nerves and my eyes widened at his name. I shot up from where I was...DON'T SAY HIS NAME...

I got up too fast and fell over off the bed, holding my gut. He must have got me...great another scar to my collection.

"Stop...you're going to undo the stitches if you're not careful."

I had to act...like the Realm-Walker said. But...I froze again and just fell to the ground

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Karliah helped me back on the bed again, as she looked at me sternly. I could barely look at her in the eye. I went back on the bed and curled up, and stopped crying as I held my was the kind of stuff you do as a scared kid, not an adult.

But...nothing was going to happen if I didn't do anything. Just stop being whimpy about it Petra. Come on! Enough was enough!

"I screwed up...I couldn't...I couldn't save him..." I admitted.

Karliah's eyes opened more.

"What? Is...is he dead?"

In a sense yes...but..I'd calmed down considerably, willingly so with what I could do at that stage. I needed...I just...be sensible and honest. No matter how out there it sounded, there was no reason for me to lie. if I had to do anything it was to help progress, not hinder it. It's an agonising struggle, but I know I have to do what I hate to get things done.

"I don't know. He'd...he was possessed and tried to kill me...but...it's much more complicated than a simple possession."

Karliah sat by me and rested my head against her side and rubbed my back. It...was a touch nice...a bit of warmth.

''And Nocturnal didn't protect you both?" She asked me.

I bit the side of my mouth.

"She...may have saved me from dying...but. "

Such words escaped next that I've never expected to say.

"Bryn's situation is dire and I really need your help."

Karliah nodded, then gave me a soft hug, trying to assure me that it was going to be okay.

"Of course. Though like you said, it's complicated. But...just tell me what to do and I'll do as much as I can. The Guild still owes you a lot for what you've done."

Orders...me giving the orders? No...not heard of. But...I've been out of my comfort zone enough to get used to it. So might as well get it over and done with. But I'm home.

**Thank Nocturnal I was home.**

 


	52. Throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra pushes on for more answers and finds an unlikely ally.

 

I retreated back to an old spot...the training room. Where no one actually trained, well, not at this time anyway.

I sat in the corner, like the wimp I am, and contemplated. The rummaging of conflicting thoughts swimming around in my head. There's not much I can do but figure out what I have to do.

Brynjolf was gone, I hadn't had much luck with anyone else. Karliah was off busy being Guildmaster and every one else knew to leave me alone. Heh, they must have suspected that me and Bryn were kinda close. I held my knees in and stared into nothing. I'm actually left with nothing. I want to do something though, but having no leads means rubbish.

The Realm-Walker...she...she told me to use my contacts. Contacts that I've made. The fences...the people I've assisted. Ironically. You speak with the right people and you get what you want in the end. They're not the generally most pleasant, but I've put up with much worse.

I'm...I'll be fine. I hope. I know...the curse unending of...my parents death. And the man I love, gone...and the girl I started to care for...vanished. I'm left with nothing much but my own shadow. But, there are those here, still, I can talk to. I'm moving. I'm alive. I'm...grateful.

The positive trail isn't supposed to make you feel fuzzy and warm inside but something to cling on to. I'm the Dragonborn, my role is to do the impossible. May not feel like but I can...I can get there. I have to believe. This is my story and I want to believe.

It's quite the task. I know where I mention that I'm over Mercer or I'm putting everything behind me. It doesn't mean that it won't show up from time to time. It's acknowledging that it happened and to make sure it doesn't get to me that often that I can succeed despite these hardships. That, what ever the world throws at me I can push back twice as hard.

The Shearpoint Dragon proved that. The Kynesgrove Dragon proved that. I'm at a stage with noticeable improvement. I'm shying away to cope and reason with myself. To decide the factors put in so I can get the desired results.

My goal. Is to get both Brynjolf and Ayisha back from where ever they are. I must note that in my head and make it amicable. Strange, I know but if I get the idea in my mind long enough I can trace back from the depths of the darkness that I tend to fall into, and grab hold and pull myself up and try again.

Saying that, it may never always work. But the meaning is to try and to fight. I can...I can do it.

I have to tell myself that.

I finally got myself off the ground and clenched my fist tight. Cling onto your goal Petra and you'll find a way.

I approached Karliah at the desk as she looked up at me. She's a fine Guildmaster, that's for sure. She's getting the respect she deserves. Not to mention she's a fellow Nightingale who can find common ground with.

"Everything alright Petra?" She asked me.

I nodded. She was a stable voice that made sense and it's what I clung on to. 

"I should be okay. I must apologise for my actions before. My...mind's been clouded and heavy."

She smiled at me.

"I'm not angry at you for that. I understand wanting to shed away from people. Losing someone is harsh. Losing those you care about is just plain cruel." She said.

I kept forgetting she was in a relationship once with Gallus. She'd lost someone to betrayal and plotted for years to get her revenge. And she's...my boss. Took her a while but she got there eventually. I took that as a great example and inspiration.

"Then you know I need to find him. But I don't...I don't know where to start. I was thinking however, that maybe any of our contacts may have seen him." I told her.

She crossed her arms as she whisked the idea in her head.

"It's a start. I'll talk with the others about speaking with anyone who may have seen him. But...what will you do in the mean time?" She asked me.

I hadn't thought as much. But the thought crossed my mind...Arngeir. He...He might know, if not...I could really use some guidance right now.

"I'll be out. Searching myself, but. I still need time to think." I muttered. Although you'd think I'd have enough time to do so but apparently not.

Karliah nodded, acknowledging it,

"Okay. Just...be careful. I don't fully understand the whole ordeal myself but. Don't forget the others here will be able to help and I will always be here if you want to talk." She assured me.

I smiled weakly.

"Th...thanks."

* * *

I'd taken Cody, thankfully my original companion was still with me, to High Hrothgar to speak with the Greybeards to determine the next possible steps. On my trip through the fields of the Rift, I thought to study the topic of the Dragon Priests themselves. I still had the mask of Krosis, whom I had yet to determine it's use, but it definitely had a magical aura about it.

But it was so strange. I thought I was used to be alone but now...it's just empty. My time with Bryn made me more open, but now...people annoy me again. Gods, what I wouldn't give to see his smiling face again.

He was in my forethoughts, along with Ayisha. I will find a way.

I made it to High Hrothgar, heart still heavy but I was moving still. Good. I found Arngeir in prayer...oops probably not the best time...

"Ah don't worry Dragonborn, we've always got time for you." Arngeir stated, getting up.

My current expression was mostly deadpan, but it was better than just having a appallingly upset face.

"You look troubled. Speak your mind." He said.

I sighed. Perhaps a motion unexpected came to mind. One I know Bryn would hate but I was running out of fuel and faith by this point. I'll take anything to ease the pain.

"I'd like to pray beside you, if that's okay." I asked.

Arngeir grinned.

"Certainly. But still speak with me." He said.

Arngeir was one of those people that you know have years of experience and know's what he's talking about. I sat on my knees before him in the middle of the monastery. You could sense his wisdom without him saying anything. It's obvious well, because he's old and grey...hence, Greybeards. But it also commands respect and admiration. I'm still young but at my age you would think I would be at best knowledgeable and brave. I'm free to admit my cowardice but in my heart, it screams for me to be proactive. It's deep down there I can feel it. When you're riddled with despair and anguish, it grows around that and you're stuck where you are, unable and useless. Like I was before.

To know is one matter. To do is another. They're important to solving this. I was never the best at this, but if I am to make any sort of difference at all, I have to be proactive again, on the move, to think steps ahead.

How much of me, however, is the Dragon spirit taking control and how much is me. Is it my Dragon-self who takes hold when ever there is a critical moment and handles it? Or is just me, Petra, as a person. I asked Arngeir this very question.

"You are your own person Petra, whether you believe there is a reason for your capabilities is because you can do them. Putting other factors in is irrelevant. You are Dragonborn, meaning you would have been like this since birth. Akatosh fathered your spirit, and made you who you are. You would have split moments where it felt like something inside you had come out and conquered, but you've been doing that all your life. You remember these times...do you not?"

I looked at my own hands. Each arrow fire and each swing thrown were within my own hands, driven by fury.

"You are, literally born to do it. Grown to have a natural reaction to use what you know. A fire that is forever lit in your heart that can never be put out. You can be disciplined to use your abilties or not, that is your choice. Occasionally it seems like it may take hold but it's actually where you've made the split decision to do it, not realizing you've made this decision subconsciously."

Subconsciously. I...wanted to. I wanted to do these things. Because maybe I knew I could, but when push comes to shove it had to be done. I needed to do it. That's what it had to be.

"So I've killed dragons not because something took hold of me, but somewhere within me told me to. I had convinced myself to do so despite all the...despair. Because I knew what would happen if I didn't. And by the power of knowing, I am not left with much choice than to take them down because it had to be done." I tried to explain.

Arngeir nodded.

"I figured you had once didn't want to take the responsibility when you didn't come in the reasonable time frame for you to find us. Because you were unsure. But I see you are now within the set mindset you have made for yourself to begin to believe and take it as your own. Petra, do not doubt yourself for a second that you're not able to enact. You do. You only see your own faults..."

( _Blinded by Failure._ )

"Take a good look at what you've accomplished. The Gods would not have gifted you and protected you otherwise."

Not to mention having Nocturnal's back has been pretty handy.

"Because they know I can?" I wondered.

"Exactly. Do you not find yourself skipping the greater details?" He put forth into my head.

I started to fidget with my hands. Yeah..I guess...

"Because I'm doing what's expected of me. Why should I give myself praise for doing what I was told to do?""

The look on his face became stern.

"Believe it or not, nothing is ever easy. You are told to do a task but not everyone gets it right or triumphs in the ways that everybody expects you to. But when it's done right, it's a rare sight to see. The sense of professionalism in getting the job done is greatly desired by a lot of people. In your case, Dragonborn, finding your destiny is considered unique and unseen by the current generation. That you are satisfying their needs with your disposition, their subconscious opinion on how Dragonborn operate. You are, dispelling the myth and making others believe. It doesn't just go for Dragonborn either. People see you in a better light and actually can trust you to do what's necessary to get the job done. They're...happy...elated that you succeeded where others have failed." He replied.

I sort...of understood where he was getting at.

"These people...don't know me very well as a person however. But they already like me because I had already done what they've asked me to do. I guess I can see how that gets their favour. But if you're seen as in the business, that they know that you can offer them that service, isn't it that they expect you to do it anyway? That you can do it irregardless of circumstances?" I questioned.

"We've always sat on the prospects of doubt, loss of hope and uncertainty, as mere mortals finding their way in the world. You rid their doubt, you've earned their appreciation and kindness. As Dragonborn, you prove it to them. Then their eyes will open and they will begin to respect you." He continued.

I just...just didn't think...

"It's not to say you need to boast your deeds. It gives people the right idea about you, through word of mouth. Bolsters your reputation. But, you're not highly arrogant about your abilities, which is Dragons themselves have always been high strung and arrogant in their powers, simply because of what they are and what they can do. You role is you're more of a Dragon of humility. To teach them a lesson."

I think I remember that part. I am one of them incarnate, born to serve as their antithesis.

"But don't forget yourself in the role. The Gods made you to allow you be who you are. They're rewarding you for your efforts. I told you before on how your dragon spirit reacts to certain events. To you, that is natural. Always will be. It is a part of you."

To be me the coward or to be the one who questions the Gods logic? Maybe. I aim to make my own purpose and to be allowed to be who I am. I am supposed to be Dragonborn but Arngeir states that I am allowed room to grow as a person. I...I see that now.

"I am simply wary of burdens placed on me. But you say that's okay?" I asked.

"Yes." The Greybeard answered.

"The Gods know that you have limitations. That's a purpose. But you can evolve. It's a journey that has lots of complications but in the end, it's about what you want and how you can get it without compromising who you are."

I know what I want. But I will not take the paths that Mercer took, what the Dragons took and I will certainly not let Prolg's or the Cult's plan change that. I won't let them.

"You will find when you'll accept that, Dragonborn. Many have come here questioning the very thing to discover their purpose...or to find enlightenment."

I certainly feel enlightened though. But I will continue to be myself but also want to improve myself. That's a definite. These times are difficult. I've seen and helped the Guild grow again. That, is a great achievement that I always undermine. I vastly underestimate myself because, like Arngeir said, I know my limitations. But if I stay me and have confidence, I will...I will be able to find truth within.

"So...you're not sure of yourself just yet...that's okay. You will. But I suspect you're here for more than a philosophical discussion about a sense of self. Your eyes speak more than your lips."

I couldn't hide it.

"Out of all the people, we'd met up with Brynjolf's father..." I admitted.

His eyes widened.

"You met up with Prolg? Then what happened?"

I told Arngeir everything from Kynesgrove, to Shearpoint and finally the borders of Skyrim and Cyrodiil. My heart ached from describing the most painful of moments. My throat clogged up towards the end and my eyes watery.

"The Cult...got Brynjolf...he's not...he's not..."

I just let myself weep. The very thought...his voice, those eyes...

"Your tears explain well enough Dragonborn. I had suspected Prolg had ties to the Cult for a long time. Unfortunately I didn't have enough proof. The only thing I had was a letter...saying where the book was and that expect the Dragonborn to ask for it. But...now I know why..."

I nodded.

"I do not have much information for you of where the Cult or Brynjolf might be. But, you may be able to speak to our leader, Paarthurnax about it."

My eyes widened.

"Truly?" I said with shock.

Arngeir rubbed his beard.

"I was going to wait until you were ready to allow you to meet him in his usual spot on the peak of the Throat, but now I see where now, of all times, it's getting too dangerous to allow the Dragon Priests to return at full strength. Paarthurnax should be able to answer those questions for you. We can still advise you as best we can, but are you, ready within yourself to go on?" He asked.

I nodded with certainty.

"I am. I must consider all possible options with any cost. I will speak with Paarthurnax."

I said with confidence and assurance.

Arngeir smiled.

"Good...now the road to the top is perilous. If you follow me outside, I will teach you a new shout..."

* * *

Didn't think it'd be that bad. But, hey, he's the Greybeard and I'm the amat-...okay, think positive. I am just the lowly...no that's not positive enough. I am a professional thief, with the gift of Dragonblood who will get better with time and teaching. There...good...feel better now.

Arngeir taught me and gave me his understanding of a unique shout, that looks interesting...

Clear Skies... to help clear the way to Paarthurnax. This Greybeard, the leader apparently, lives in seclusion on the very top. I wonder if he ever comes down. Seriously, even I wouldn't want to be THAT isolated.

Arngeir looked at me with a assured expression.

"We all have faith in you, Dragonborn. You know to be cautious, always. Keep that in mind."

I nodded in acknowledge and headed towards the gateway with the fast brisk, nearly magical freezing wind before me. I looked at it, feeling it's chill, even for a Nord. I inhaled deeply...

" **Lok...VAL KOOR**!"

The power of the shout cleared the way, revealing the path set before me.

Here we go...

As I made the climb, there were few more of these mystical gusts of wind that I dispelled quickly and I encountered a few frost wraiths and a troll, but I took them down rather quickly. I am capable...these creatures are never easy. I see...I see that now as well. To find those who were a challenge that are now easier to fight, is telling of my own levels of power altogether.

I am born for many reasons and I am here, alive, still alive despite everything. I am given these as tools to use for my own survival and I am, determined to utilise them as best as I can. This is who I am, I am Petra...thief, stealer of valuables and dragon souls. Amusing title indeed. If I am to feel good about myself, I must point out all the feats that I have undertaken and determine whether they were considered a task once considered impossible but then proven otherwise.

For confidence is key to finding and helping Brynjolf and Ayisha and taking down the Cult of Slaughter for their treachery. This is what I must do, I have to do it. The goal is in my head and I will see it through. No matter what.

I made it to the top, seeing a snow-veiled dragon wall and looked beyond the mountain to see the majority of Skyrim before me. I was captivated by the beauty of it. It...was...refreshing, scary and breathtaking.

Only if Brynjolf were here to see it with me. And Ayisha would love it too, no doubt.

* * *

I heard wings flapping and...the reaction was expected as I froze. No... no...no no no no no not here, not now! I didn't need this! Why? Why? Why? Ugh! Please...just...

I turned around as I heard the creature land before me. Odd, they normally never land first. They usually land when they've been greatly injured...but...

This one looked old...and grey and had looked like he'd seen better days, his wings tattered. I gulped as I stared at him, stuck in the moment. I wanted to get myself to do what I did before at Shearpoint, but...I had to be adamant and want even if I despised it and feared it so. But his aura, his stance just seemed different to all the dragons' I'd encountered. The word I would use, would be...

Warm...

Ironic.

"Drem Yol Lok. Greetings, wunduniik. I am Paarthurnax. Who are you? What brings you to my strunmah ... my mountain?" He spoke, voice low, old, loud and wise.

I blinked. He...wasn't attacking me? He sat that with his head tilted, awaiting a response. But I couldn't open my mouth. I would have gone catatonic again. Using Karliah's words, it's just plain cruel. I wanted to avoid this, but again, I know...but odd feelings were piled on top. His name...hmm...

"Do not be afraid, goraan gein. I am a dovah, a dragon yes, but I am unlike the rest. I serve as master for the Greybeards."

Wait...yes. Paarthurnax. The one Arngeir told me to speak to. But...he was a dragon? I lowered my head in a feeble attempt to bow to it. My breath was heavy and burdened. Why wasn't I told this? What the...no...Gods please, don't make me...why? Just...

"You...hmm...I should have expected this. Krosis...I have seen that reaction before. faas do dovah, fear of dragons..."

He knows, he's seen it, felt it, known it previously, suspecting his previous victims. But, he was like Arngeir in that respect. The air of wisdom and experience surrounded him. I am not meant to give in to the phobia, but...his very image was striking. I gulped as the symptoms made themselves known...feeling ill, the sweats. Yes, it was all still there.

But he was busying studying me, not attempting to attack. I can't...I can't shake it.

"It is wise not to trust a dovah...but Arngeir, and others, save their breaths to protect me. But I will make good on my honour to not attack you. For it was I, who helped teach mortal kind learn how to use shouts."

So...there are...good dragons?

I tried fighting off my phobia like I did before, I made one step forward. His size made it difficult to amend anything. But I could now at least manage to open my mouth...

"I...I was...was told...you...you could help me?" I stuttered. I had to be strong and make myself work. I was still stunned at his stillness, calm. Not a wind of anger within him. You'd think I'd be calmer? You're wrong. Still...conflicted.

"Help you? Maybe...what is it that you need help with hm?"

I pursed my lips. Petra, just...just do it.

"I need...help...with...with find-finding the Cult...of...S-Slaughter."

He stretched his neck and wings.

"Zaag do Kriind? Hmm...ahh the descendants of the Dovah Priests. Yes, they were formidable...the most powerful mortals that lived during the War, empowered by us to enslave mortal kind. I have not kept track with them for some time..."

Great...stuck up here with this ancient dragon embarrassing myself with asking questions that obviously had no tangible answer. It wasn't so much that he was being civil with me, it's just the phobia's tendency to just know what the dragon is capable of and the memories of Helgen flood back to me in many ways. To me they're just...Gods...

"Hmmm...I sense something within you...you...are you Dovahkiin."

I gulped. Oh no...no...I shook my head...no no no...please...

My breathing got heavier.

"Your spirit burns brightly, yet you shy away. You see me as a dragon irregardless. I will not harm you Dovahkiin. For you are Dovah yourself. Zu'u los hin soskiin, I am your brother..."

Brother? What in Nocturnals name was he on about?

"You are...our younger...though joor, mortal, no need to fear family."

Family...

My family's...gone...

But he was looking at me...as his...sister? I don't know...

"To prove I am willing to help you, Dovahkiin, There are formalities that must be observed, at the first meeting of two of the dov. By long tradition, the elder speaks first. Hear my Thu'um! Feel it in your bones. Match it, if you are Dovahkiin!"

I watched as he moved to face the word wall, shouting a flame into it. He turned his head to me, and nudged his head to usher me closer.

"Come...read it...inherit the flames of our brethren."

Each step required more effort than the last, taking deep breaths. Go Petra...do it...

I eventually made it to the word wall itself and inspected the word It absorbed into me.

Like the Greybeards, Paarthurnax granted me...his understanding of the word, Yol.

"A gift, Dovahkiin. Toor. Understand Fire as the dov do. Now, show me what you can do. Greet me not as mortal, but as dovah!"

He...wanted me to shout on him? I...I don't know...my throat is locked up so tight with anxiousness.

"Do not worry..." He told me.

I nodded. I took one long deep breath and shivered before I shouted.

" _ **YOL TOOR!**_ "

I surprised myself with the barrage of flames that surrounded Paarthunax briefly. He didn't appear hurt, but he spread his wings again, overjoyed by the looks of it.

"It's been long since I had a tinvaak with a dovah. The dovah sos, the dragonblood runs strong within you."

Still had doubts but coming from a dragon, it felt like it had more confirmation. Still...

He did help me learn. I just never thought a good dragon would ever exist. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I wanted to trust him as a Greybeard, but couldn't because he was a dragon.

"So...you want to find the Cult of Slaughter hmmm? First, tell me...you are dovah...why do you fear your own kind?"

I held my arm in. I really didn't want to tell the story again.

"Helgen..." I managed to stammer out. Gods help me.

"Hmmm...yes...I heard about that. In fact, I had heard Alduin heading in that direction. You must have encountered him there yes?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"Krosis. I apologise that you had to go through with that. Had I known you were there, I would have gone to help out. But...alas...I must stay here. Meditation proceeds me. What I can tell you however about the Zaag do Kriind, the Cult of Slaughter was that they were created in secret after Alduin had been cast upon the currents of time. They...had somehow known that he would return someday as his role as the Lein Nakaan, the World Eater. The Priests left behind were sealed but their families were hiding in secret, not wanting that fate. I recall a Dragonborn during those times, back when no one of us knew the real power of this individual, had slain the Head Priest, Zoklotinhaar and fled. The Cult looked after his family knowing one day, that he would return to serve Alduin and take back Keizaal, known to you as Skyrim."

I nodded with haste.

"Yeah...yeah...well...my friend...has been possessed, possibly by that priest." I informed him,

Paarthurnax looked downwards, deep in thought.

"And that does not bode well with anyone. Zoklotinhaar is very powerful. Your friend...yes...it is said that he would return for his Dragon master, as Alduin's favored. He was...taught different thu'um than anyone else. Unique to him, taught by Alduin."

I had to know...

"I...have to find him before...it's...it's too late..." I continued to stutter. Different thu'um meant trouble.

"Of course. Hmm...like I said, I do not know where, but I do know who you can speak to...have you ever heard of the Laaglein?" He asked me.

I shook my head.

"Hm...I suspected. It is, a world beyond our own. A dream world. Where you can find the jen dovah, the amethyst Dragons."

Never heard of them. Interesting.

"They have had contact with the ancients nords during their eternal slumber. However it has gone krent, unstable. I can get you there...you must sleep however. Do not fear the Jen Dovah. Did you know a dovahs name is made up of three dragon shouts? One dovah that roams the suleyksejun, Hahnubopraan...should be able to help you find the Cult. Hear his name on your tongue!

 _Hahnu! Bo! Praan!_ "

Didn't need much to understand there. Summoning a dragon...hehe...yeah...looking forward to that...not...

"How...how will I get there?" I asked.

Paarthurnax ushered himself into the curl of the wordwall, as if shielding himself from the wind. Must be a pretty old dragon then. He then raised one of his wings at me.

"It requires drem, peace, and patience. You would have had access to it, but not call upon the dovah who tends to it. But, if you rest your head here, underneath my wing, I will give you the influence needed to go to the dream you need to find yourself in to get closer to Hahnubopraan."

What? No...no way!

"Is...is that the only way?" I questioned, not really wanting to even touch a dragon if I didn't have to.

"You would...but your fear of us pushes you away. The Laaglein detects this, and rejects you entering the realm. A dovah can help you, but I do not think they would be as equally hospitable as this old dovah."

I gulped and fidgeted. Come on Petra, just...try...if you don't try you won' t know if you'll succeed. This can be another step in combating the phobia. Paarthurnax is the nicest dragon you'll ever meet. You fear his image, his species but not him as an individual, see reason Petra...just...

Again, more steps with effort required as I got closer to him. My heart was beating extremely quickly and my stomach twisted, but I wasn't going to hurl. After Kynesgrove made it a bit easier, but still reluctant.

I had to lay myself underneath his wing, wary if touching him was going to set anything off. I set up a roll and rested. I didn't want to close my eyes, simply just because. I don't have to explain.

"Pruzah gluus ahrk praan vahk, Dovahkiin. Good luck and rest easy."

I eventually forced myself to close them and huddle myself in as Paarthurnax lowered his wing.

Thank Akatosh for having at least one decent son.


	53. Laaglein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra visits a strange land to find something to help her in her current quest.

 

I didn't really feel like I was asleep. But when you wake up and the sky has a greenish tint to it for some reason, you often wonder if you're dead instead. This was a dream world, so it's subject to randomness anyway. Open fields with mountains scattered in on the horizon. Lots of trees and lush green gas. The air had a slight chill to it, but it was warmer than the average temperatures of Skyrim. Where ever I was, it definitely had that abnormal ambiance to it.

I wandered around, trying to suss out where I had to go. Was I supposed to call out this dragon here? Now? I wasn't sure. The land seemed endless. The world had an odd glow to it as well. It was surreal. I'd lost myself in the nearby forest, with trees that grew to the heights of mountains and day turned into night. The torchbugs scattered themselves around the trunks, with whispers skittering within.

I kept walking, hearing the rush of a creek nearby. Purple flowers dotted sides of the riverbed and I decided to follow the path alongside it. The flowers seemed to light up as I went past them, strangely enough. Beyond the path and into the thicker parts of the forest I could see bright yellow eyes staring at me, then disappearing.

I wasn't alone...

For such a place to exist...a world unheard of. Paarthurnax described it as where the ancient nords once dreamed. I don't know. Whether or not this is just normal or otherwise. But it was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I was allowed my own weapons in here so I brought forth my bow and prepared myself for anything that might cross my path the obvious intent to harm. I wasn't sure what to expect. The whispers got louder, until I felt a chill on the back of my neck...oh Gods...

In a quick motion I got an arrow and spun around to see what was there. Of course, nothing was, but I was becoming increasingly paranoid.

I upped the pace a little. My ears caught on the tiniest of sounds. The only notable creatures around with the torchbugs. Where exactly...am I? The trees themselves, I'd just noticed, had art etched into them, the patterns suggesting a familiar nord pattern like you'd find in the tombs and crypts that contained the Draugr. I guess I'm in the right place? I could see orbs of a white light darting above me at high speed and leaving little trails that faded within a few seconds. My guess was they may have been the spirits that lived in this placed. The wind picked up, but, it was an odd slow wind that played around with the leaves, making them pick up and wave about at the same pace. It did the same to my hair as I grabbed the end of my ponytail to inspect it. It was, akin to swimming underwater except...

I began to see pieces of old ruins popping out of the ground. Whether it was rock-built archway, small tables half-buried in the ground. I had to be close. I froze as I watched a blue glow drift past from one side of the path to the other, brisk in a strange mist. I waited until in walked by, and I continued to walk down the path when I saw another coming from the other side. When I had the courage, just kept going until I found an open area, rounded with a broken ancient nordic ruins. These auras...perhaps ancient spirits, gathered there with the torch bugs. Actually talking to each other it seemed.

But they hardly acknowledging me being there and appeared to be the source of the indecipherable whispers. I was stunned trails of a silver substance seem to rise from the ground and into the wrinkles, the bark and the patterns on the redwood trees, going to the endless canopy and started to shimmer. I heard...chiming. I really was dreaming.

"It is subject to strange occurrences that would never occur in real life. The Silvercore Forest is one of many amazing places in the Laaglein." A strong, familiar voice spoke from behind me. I turned to see the red-cloaked woman.

"Realm-Walker?" I muttered, recognizing the figure before me as she stood there.

She approached me, and I was able to see the lower parts of her head, seeing her smile.

"Do you see the spirits? They speak, they mingle amongst themselves. The sons and daughters of an age long past."

Spirits...hmm...

"Are you sure we're not in Sovngarde?" I asked.

She shook her head, teeth shining somehow as she grinned.

"The Laaglein is unheard of to a lot of people because it's just where you end up in your dreams. Explaining the general idea to you is like me trying to explain the visuals of Aetherius. It's indescribable. The spirits are here because they are. They are because of the world they dreamed of is long gone. I take it you're here to see the Amethyst Dragon?"

I looked away. I still wasn't completely understanding the whole meaning of this. This world was beautiful in it's...peculiar way, but I just had to figure out what I had to do.

"Yeah. I...I was given a shout to call him, but I don't know where to go..."

She stood next to me and crossed her arms. She still had that mystic sense about her. Not looking as old as Arngeir or Paarthurnax but I was willing to listen.

"Hmm...this world does get complicated with it's real purpose and how it operates. The Amethyst Dragons have been the guiders of this world since it's original inception. Some say Akatosh gave this world to them since they were youngest dragon species threatened with extinction from their dragon cousins, but that's just a stupid rumour. There are a select few who know of the Laaglein and are intent to study it completely, but only know a fraction of the details. I guess you're one of the first that can finally reveal it's existence..."

I rose an eyebrow at her.

"People come here to dream don't they? How do they not know?" I asked, curious as to why no one knew about it.

"It's not unlike Apocrypha, the realm of Hermaeus Mora, where one comes for knowledge. For mortal kind today it's difficult to reach since it's said to react to the state of one's mind when they sleep. Those who fear the dragons cannot enter it. Which speaks for nearly everyone, but even then, without those fears. The chances are very slim that you'll ever get to visit it without the influence of those who know it well. So, naturally, since hardly anyone knows of or how to get to it, no one ever sees it in their lifetimes and it is left forgotten in the minds of their ancestors."

Instead it all flew over my head, but I understood some of it.

"This...is this a plane of Oblivion?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker shook her head again and chuckled. Hey, just because no one tells me these things earlier, there is no need to find it amusing.

"No...there are planes of Oblivion and there the planes of Aetherius that hardly anyone speaks about. What you need to know is there are places that balance out and are made to contain the strands of power and structure to keep the worlds flowing. Some last forever, some may last a second. You can call it the Gods at work from keeping your realm, Mundus, as stable as it must be."

I gave her a strange look. Now we're getting more technical. Such a wealth of knowledge...I just had to know...

"Then where do you come from?" I asked her.

She chuckled. Ugh.

"Never you mind. My world is one of wonder, but I don't think you'll be able to just knock on the door and expect to come in. Maybe in time..." She answered, cryptically as always.

I sighed.

"So do you actually know where to find this dragon so I can call him or..."

The Realm-Walker rubbed her chin in thought.

"Yes, don't think I don't know. While anyone who ends up coming here can actually end up anywhere. No real symbolism as to why. Nothing's connected other than your mind and soul, but...if like I said, you can be influenced that you may end up nearby the source of an influential target. Next time you'd arrive you would end up somewhere else. It happens. What you're looking for, is the Temple of Akatosh...most of the Amethyst Dragons gather there in times of need. They're often scattered amongst the near infinite lands, but they are dragons...they will come if you call."

We kept walking through the rest of the forest...she explained Silvercore Forest is where the old spirits gather, that much was enough. That without guidance or favor that one can get lost in the wilderness and find themselves unable to escape. As suspected, a lot of them were souls of the ancient nords. I just kept thinking Sovngarde but...  
I could see a light in the distance, the end of the track. Coming across it, was an open valley filled with numerous waterfalls, where the creek I had followed poured into the mists of the very depths of the valley itself. The clouds in the sky followed a curled pattern, a structure that I'd never seen them before, and had a sparkling shine to it, cast down from the superficial sun.

How could no one discover such a place, without noting any of the details down?

"A mind of an individual, their lives...balanced or unbalanced, will show in this realm. Your heart is your guide and only you can find the way. I cannot take you there." She told me.

I shook my head again. What was she on about? I just want to do this...I had to find Bryn! Where...

I stood back as water from the streams just rose up from the base of the waterfall, strangely aligning itself into a line above us and froze...no it didn't just...freeze. It was a line of water that just stopped. But then it did harden into ice, but then the flow of water just...continued to stream underneath it. Like...a floating river.

Steps formed before us. I looked at the Realm-Walker who nodded at me to take make the first attempt. I took a deep breath and placed one foot on the shard of ice.

It was surprisingly stable. I went up slowly at first, but then made my way up to the floating river stream and began to walk across it.

It was...amazing..and breath taking. We were literally above the entire valley. The river flowed further, extending the path as we kept walking. Just...wow...I'd tucked away my bow and looked upon the blessing with both eyes wide open. I wasn't afraid of heights normally, but this...this was some wonderful magic. I could see down into the depths of the valley beneath us, closer to the green-blue sky above us and amongst the clouds.

"The Laaglein is said to have a mind of its own. It must have sensed the desperation within you and transformed itself to cater to your needs. Fascinating. Doesn't do that for everyone. It must know you're special." The Realm-Walker explained.

This world was definitely odd, but extremely beautiful. My heart was beating fast but my mind felt...clearer. I would never comprehended anything as such but...

"You know where the goal lies. Your intentions...your heart bleeds with it and that's the most influential magic of all." She continued.

The path ended up rising itself into the clouds themselves, interestingly enough. It took us a while to actually see, until we had risen above them. The path stopped, slipping downwards into it's own, sky waterfall, but then the clouds dissipated, revealing a large stone platform. It had interesting details of dragons battling it out as it branched towards another platform made of marble. The Realm-Walker ushered us on to a stone wall, with a large brass gate. This...just seemed weird.

"I wouldn't enter that..." She suggested.

"But it's bringing it to you...hmm...I think it's just telling you what's happened. I see..ahhh makes more sense now."

I scratched my head. Yeah...forgive my ignorance.

"There's a theory about a concept known as the Dreamsleeve. A mortal spirit that is destroyed but it's essence reused and reborn into another being. Take that as a key point there Petra..."

Sigh...still over my head.

"What of it?" I questioned.

"A spirit divided...and born again. Fascinating. Don't mind me...the Laaglein is only showing you a possibility of a powerful magic misused. I figured that a door way would be open here. But you're still alive Petra...you don't need to enter it just yet."

I groaned. More technicalities.

"Yeah yeah I get it...it's mysterious and my mind can't handle the very topic of it. I've come across that a lot lately. Don't know why I'm still surprised by it." I spoke with annoyance and sarcasm.

The Realm-Walker smirked.

"Discovery of new worlds is always a conversation starter. But you're right, you do get that numb feeling after a while. Then tend to forget not everyone has seen these things. I handle this stuff all the time...and no, you cannot ask me questions about my previous expeditions."

Damn it.

I looked to the left, seeing the clouds showing off a large temple. I tilted my head. It was made or the same silver with curled spirals. Hmmm... this was more...of monastery however, large wooden doors that guarded entry.

We wandered towards it, realizing it was nearly the same height as the trees at Silvercore Forest. We entered inside, revealing a chapel, with your benches and a giant stained glass window at the back, a picture of a lady with blue wavy hair and cradling a bird while wearing robes. The rest of the area was decorated with dozens of lit candles and wreaths, a sweet smelling aroma scenting the air.

"So this is the Temple of Kynareth. Actually explains a lot." Realm-Walker explained.

"Your spirit is being influenced by belief of the Goddess of the Sky. No...makes perfect sense..."

She had her hands behind her back, being all smug. I rolled my eyes.

"If it makes sense why won't you tell me what it's all about then hmmm?" I questioned her.

Then there was that stupid smirk of hers.

"It's fine. It's not relevant for now. We're in the wrong area, but it's not to say that it can't impart some wisdom while we're here."

I stood next to her, glancing at the picture still.

"Such as?" I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Kynareth was the one who gifted mortal kind with the thu'um in order for men to defeat Alduin. It's the same story everyone knows about by now. Or at least those who care about the Gods enough. An influence brought you here, like I said. But your heart will still lead you in the right direction. Where will you go?"

An influence...I wouldn't know. I was with Paarthurnax...that's about it. I'm not huge on the Gods, just enough to keep what ever faith I can.

I walked up the window, seeing Kyraneths usual shrine and went on my knees before it. A prayer. A simple prayer to allow me to find my way. I have to find the Temple of Akatosh. This is what I must do. I have to do it. Brynjolf's and Ayisha's lives depend on it.

I heard chanting and whispers as I pressed my hands together, intent on the hearth to my soul and visage. To claim what was stolen...

"Petra...you might want to look up..."

I tilted my head up to see...dragon words, written on the wall beneath the window. A sentence with several words with their ethereal vibe...I know this...this...what?

"Zu'u vel wah lok, kolos zii  _ **bo**_. Hil tol vis  _ **vond**_  voth nid faas, ol lokraan do  _ **uft.**_ " The Realm-Walker spoke fluently in their language. I could sense that damnable smirk again.

"Well, this got a little bit more interesting."

I grumbled. I absorbed the words and know them, but I do not...what?

I looked up at the stain glass window, with the head of Kyaneth giving off an irregular glow. Tendrils of the spiritual power were sent towards me, like I had slain a dragon, or...like the Greybeards were giving me the understanding...

_**Bo...Vond...Uft...** _

Fly...Soar...Feather.

I looked my hands...my prayer. Had...Kynareth heard my plea? I understood the words and felt the meaning within me. I was hesitant to believe it but I definitely heard it inside my very spirit. I can...I can shout it.

I turned to the Realm-Walker, who just kept smiling at me. I rolled my eyes.

"So...gotta any 'cryptic' advice about this?" I said sarcastically.

She shrugged.

"You've been given a chance there Petra. The Laaglein will only guide you where your heart desires. Stop questioning it already. You know the shout...use it...seriously, how many times must I repeat myself?"

Hmm...she was right. I got up on my feet, and went outside...

* * *

I stood on the edge of the platform, looking at the clouds around me. The power of this shout...it had to work, I know it would work. But how would I use it? Had can I use it...the power of my desire drove the world to suit my needs. What I truly wanted. So tell me...I have to find Brynjolf but something tells me that's just going to be impossible. You know what I want Laaglein. I want to find that dragon...the Amethyst Dragon...

Show me the way...

I had waited for a moment, but nothing really happened. I sighed with disappointment. This meant I had to enact. Perhaps using the shout would help.

Something told me that this shout wasn't used as often to the Dragons if it did what I thought it did. There was only one way to find out. I inhaled deeply and hoped I wasn't going to regret it.

" **Bo...Vond Uft!** "

An explosion of energy swarmed around me as I felt the power enchant me greatly. I could feel an extension protruding out of my back. Extra limbs...yes...this...is...

I folded the limb in front of me...seeing conjured dragon-like wings, the colour of fire and passion and my body supported by it. My whole body was covered in the vigor of the shout's incredible ability.

I flapped my wings a few times to get used to it. I...I can...

I took a few steps back and reminded myself I was dreaming...yes...come on Petra...

I charged forward and took a huge leap, diving downwards. I could feel the sting of the wind on my face but it felt...good...it felt great letting myself fall. The clouds just raced past me, going through the tunnels of the mist. I folded my wings in to let the speed increase. This...was incredible.

I was one as a dragon, as dragonborn that with this there was nigh a difference besides the status of our spirits. I fluttered a few times, though the sound I used to hate sounded much better than from myself than from the ones I fear so much. But it was...astounding. Riveting. I was becoming what the phobia had forced me to react to, the inevitable roars and the constant flapping of wings and the vibrations that shook the foundations of the earth. I was...that...

I passed the clouds altogether, coming across and flying above a large mountain. Birds barely dodged me as I was falling with increased velocity. It was then I realized gravity was working against me...and I actually had to slow down.

I panicked and started flapping my wings rapidly. I'd...never flown before and it may take some time getting adjusted to flying as the dovah do. This was embarrassing! Come on...get a grip...Gods!

I was all over the place. Extra limbs don't come easy. Come on...

I could see a huge statue of a dragon, with a sword, not unlike the shrine of Akatosh. That had to be the place. I had to quickly adjust myself and calm myself down to make sure I didn't actually kill myself here. Being in a dream had nothing to do with it. It's a natural reaction...because hey, mankind is normally not meant to fly is it?

Then...let's just say my landing wasn't as graceful as I wanted it to be. I slowed down which was great, but I ended up nearly face first in the dirt nearby, and instead rolled down the steps of the place.

It was a tall building, made of white stones and pillars and it just radiated the aura. I was on the ground mind you, since this was just...a more imposing view at least. I got myself up and dusted my armour down. I was okay...

I could see the skies blue with vigilance and the sun was more empowered and spiritual than before, enveloping me with it's warmth. The Temple itself, adorned with more dragon décor and a large sundial in the middle of the front patio, which in itself was extremely large with a protective fence and opal-coloured tiles. The design looked like something out of Cyrodiil.

"Down with such grace, Dragonborn." The Realm-Walker mocked as she stood there, leaning against one of the pillars, still with that irritating smug look on her face.

I just glared at her.

"Shut it you. I've never done that before." I told her outright.

She shrugged.

"You know it just comes with practice Petra..." She explained.

I shook my head with disbelief.

"Did you know there was a shout like that?"

She lifted her chin.

"Perhaps. I'm just going to get secretive again and say there are possibilities out there for shouts you'll never learn in your short, mortal life. The Dragon wing shout is a relatively close guarded one. It was either Kynareth or the Laaglein who gifted you with it. Or could have been both who most likely coerced and decided you actually needed it. But look around you. Do you think you would have come on this mountain top by foot?"

My brow furrowed as I leaned over the fence, seeing the extreme steepness of the snow covered peak, and looking at low clouds before me. I hated to admit she was right.

"So I'm here. So...do I call the dragon now?" I questioned, getting a bit impatient.

She clasped her hands together and for once looked at me seriously.

"If you wish. Only question baring down...are you able to put your fear aside to converse with it?"

I looked down at my hands again. Paarthurnax was evidence enough that they can be negotiated with and that some were even intelligent enough to speak with. Was this...Amethyst Dragon the same? Can it be...trusted? Can I trust myself to be able to push through the phobia and reach an understanding. I have tell myself to see them as people, as sentients and not mindless beasts of fire and blood.

I never want to intentionally meet a dragon. Only...I know it's going to inevitable like it was in Kynesgrove. If I am to defeat Alduin, I must be able to let myself be who I am supposed to be and not the worthless creature I was before. I must instill my heart with honour, pride and courage to defeat my enemies and treat them all the same, irregardless. I stand at Akatosh's temple, so he must be watching me right now and know that his spirit-daughter would be able to prevail.

I swallowed my pride and nodded.

"I will...I'll try..." I said, still a bit worried, but giving it one step at a time is something I can deal with now.

"Very well. When ever you're ready..."

I tried psyching myself up for it, clearing my throat and waiting for the right time to make the call. I've never met dragons like these, for they have not been described by anyone else other than Paarthurnax and the Realm-Walker in somewhat small detail. The Gods placed me here on trial, vulnerable and confused. A power, awakened within me and is used as a tool.

I am meant for this.

I breathed in again to make sure...

" _ **Hahnu...Bo Praan!**_ "

The power of the shout escalated around me. I awaited in nervous anticipation and told myself that I wasn't going to regret it...

I heard a roar, that always proceeds their arrival. Calm yourself Petra...breath... You were good with Paarthurnax...should this one be willing to talk as well and not attack?  
I took deep breaths and had to convince myself over and over again in my head that this will be okay, it will be okay. Come on... I heard the wings flapping...that...I know...is just as terrifying as it normally is, but you need to stand your ground. Just...do it.  
I could see the glistening scales of violet as they were shining in the sunlight. How could I be as majestic as a dovah if I end up face planting with my landing. First time flying...I'd wager most would do the same.

It nestled down in front of me. It's bright white eyes of mysticism...staring at me, judging me.

"Ahh...Dovahkiin. I had long waited for the day you would call me. Zu'u los hahnu kiin, I have dwelt in the in the Laaglein since Akatosh created me and my brothers. I lead the jen dovah to maintain this realm."

I nodded and swallowed my pride.

"I have seen your dreams and what lurks within your heart. Hi lost neilaas nau kiindahqaar and lived on instinct Dovahkiin. You should be proud of what you are."

I breathed heavily as I stood there with my arms stuck by my sides. Last thing I wanted to do was to intimidate him in anyway.

"The one you call, Paarthurnax, my brother, has guided you here to me. Old, wise dovah who was in part to the reason why Alduin is here. While the others would complain, I have seen reason by the one spirit who calls herself here, the Kaaz who escapes here from the dredges of the mortal plain. A...decision that is not taken lightly..."

The Kaaz?

I heard the doors to the Temple open, there I could see a figure, clad in black and silver lined robes, wearing a silver circlet with two sapphires and a diamond. As she came closer, her robes showed moon like decal and shoulder pads with crescents. I know that face...I know that tiny stature. My face lit up.

"Ayisha!"

Her face lit up too. Dear Talos...how?

"Mama!"

I was so elated as she ran towards me, I knelt down as she jumped into my arms and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her.

"The Kaaz has been most useful. Her position as Raziir makes her...unique...special to her people. Zii strin wah suleyksejun fein zok. Her spirit connects to us easier."

I let the tears flow...she was okay...I'm happy...I'm...

"So sorry Ayisha...I..." I wept.

She smiled at me and nuzzled her face into my neck.

"It's okay Mama. Ayisha is well. But she is stuck." She told me.

My face turned to worry.

"What is it? Where are you?" I asked with desperation.

She looked down, depressed.

"Papa took us to a secret place. Lots of people around us. Lot's of chanting...they're doing something horrible with Papa...you have to help us." She answered as tears started to form in her eyes.

I rubbed her shoulder. Poor thing was in tears. She didn't need to be subjected to this. I had to know.

"Listen to me, Ayisha, Mama will work this out okay? Just tell me...where are you?"  I asked.

I wiped away her tears and stroked her furry cheek.

"They took Ayisha and Papa to...some place. An Island to the north. It's impossible to get to by walking. You must take a boat there. Ayisha remembers a boat. But...they will attack you if you arrive. So many guards..."

An island...hmm...yes...I looked down as I thought of something. The shout...yes...I patted her head.

"That's fine Ayisha. That's a brave girl to tell me that. I promise to look for you when we get there and make sure you and papa come home safely okay?"

Ayisha smiled weakly and sniffed. I hugged her to give her more assurance and I felt fuzzy inside as she hugged me back. I missed her greatly.

"I know of that island she speaks of. Fellnir Island. Krah himdah. A cold land. Harsh. I should have suspected they would have set up there. It was where the Dovahkiin of the Dvoah Kein had slain the Head Priest. A giant fortress is set up there. You must be...cautious." The Dragon warned me.

I nodded. I felt stronger with Ayisha with me, but I'd bet she wouldn't have time here for long. I had a few questions to ask.

"You said...that Ayisha is a Raziir. What does that entail exactly?" I inquired out of curiosity. 

Hahnubopraan bowed his head.

"Ahh...yes. We do not know much about the Kaaz, or the Khajiit. But they revere themselves in their wisdom of their religious aspects. We have seen this, but most dovah have never really dealt with Khajiit, only Nords. The Raziir, or Mane, is seen as unique and can contend for leadership within their own lands. Spiritually, A Mane to this point is unknown to have any special ability, but, they are able to use magic with much ease than any other, they just don't know it themselves."

I looked down at Ayisha and she looked back up at me. A Mane?

I turned back to the Dragon.

"So she's like a chosen one among her people?" I theorised.

He nodded.

"Yes. I have known Ayisha since she had first come to the Laaglein. She has come to train with me to learn the ways of being a Priestess of the Moons as they call it, I seek to help her understand general history and her own spiritual value."

I recalled her mentioning something about understanding the dragon language. And spiritual value, that I can attain to.

"Ayisha, you told me you stole a dragon's tongue to understand them. Were you being serious or just...using, big words to make it sound cool." I asked her. I wanted to say metaphorical, but I feared that going over her head.

She shook her head.

"No...Ayisha did steal dragon tongue. Clan Mothers who looked after Ayisha gave her a gift. A ring that has given protection throughout life."

I inspected the ring on one of her fingers. It was made of quicksilver with a sapphire behind an inscribed plate of silver The inscriptions appeared to be Daedric. I ran my thumb over it, a surge of it's power felt through it.

"What is it?" I asked.

"The Ring of Khajiiti. Assists Ayisha. It's taken many forms, so this is it's most recent."

I've...read about that. In old Thieves Guild related documentaries. Said to make one invisible, silent and quick.

I looked at Hahnubopraan.

"So they're going to use her for that? What possible use would they have for her other than potentially a fantastic thief?" I asked. That ring would be grand for my line of work.

The Dragon pondered.

"Hmm...the Priests used to involve themselves in all kinds of rituals and plans. They used to torture the ancient nords with the old magics. The Ring of Khajiiti, associated with the Daedra more than the dovah. The connection is hard to say, the evil purposes for it's use. While it isn't recommended, but speaking to a Daedra would be the option to take. Krosis, but they would know more on the topic than I."

I nodded. I had one in mind if she was willing.

"That's fine. But if I find this island that Ayisha speaks of, where would I be best to leave from?"

The Dragon stretched his wings.

"Okaaz do gaaf. Gevildseod. Winterhold. The College there...hiding beneath the blizzard storms, would be the best place to start, so you can go straight north. I would prepare myself before leaving. For you, it will be tedious."

I shrugged. I never expected it to be easy.

"It matters not. I'm willing to make that journey as much as it kills me." I declared with rare confidence.

Ayisha clung on to me tighter and started crying. Oops. I rubbed her back. Wrong choice of words.

"Figure of speech as all. Don't stress!"

He was right though. It was going to be tedious. I had to make sure what I was going to do and know how I was going to do it. But now I had what I finally wanted. But what was the best approach? That was another thing. I'll have to make plans.

Ayisha let go of me and stared at me with saddened eyes.

"Ayisha must go mama. Please come quickly!" She called out, before running back into the temple.

I watched and my arm and hand reached out for her, not wanting her to go back into the horrors of the prison she was in. I could only imagine what they were putting her through. She...just...

"They will not kill her, Dovahkiin. She's far too important to dismiss so easily. But I also must warn you, the island is protected by more dovah, less friendly than I or Paarthurnax. The true resurrection of Zoklotinhaar. Most dov loyal to Alduin considered him amongst themselves, his true name roughly translates to Grand Master Priest for a reason. I would also suggest fully understanding our tongue if you desire to reason with him. If all else fails, try to survive."

I sighed as I rubbed my arm, nervous as all heck. I looked at the Amethyst Dragon with what strength I had to muster by that point. This was no longer about me. This was about Brynjolf...this was about Ayisha and everyone else. I had to do this but I wasn't going to go in without being prepared.

"T-thank you..." I sputtered.

Hey, I'm saying that a bit now. That's progress. Never used to say it a lot but now look at me. Thanking a source of my phobia.


	54. Ancient's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peek into the past of the Master of the Greybeards.

 

Valokein fahdon. I am but the guide to the doorway to a better understanding. I will advise you as best I can but you are the one to make the choice.

Fellnir is an ugly place...I was once tasked there by Alduin to watch over Zoklotinhaar, his favoured child. I once helped torment the mortals with him. I...am not proud of what I had done. Alduin entrusted me to assist further, until the original Dragonborn had changed everything.

I had my own throne, my strunmah, watching over the isle with tyranny. Zoklotinhaar would punish the weak and empower the strong. And I was...his enforcer. The plotting...the planning...

Aldak do stahraal. Back then, all dovah had the freedoms allowed to them, our pride, our downfall.

I am the second eldest all the brothers, Alduin the firstborn of Akatosh. We were doing what was natural in us, the instructive need to dominate. Upon the glances of the ages, we had no idea what we were doing, was wrong. And Akatosh decided to punish the strong instead of the weak...as the first Dragonborn made the first kills, all the mortals had been told that we are in fact, not Gods and the revelation spread like wild-fire caused by the sparks of death. I conversed with Zoklotinhaar many times regarding this concern, but he...was cast in the darkness more often than not.

"The signs of rebellion head call in the south Haar. Lord Alduin would want us to investigate."

Zoklot, as I called him as well, was always clad in the finest gear our servants had to offer. His mask was made of ebony that had a silver crescent embedded on the forehead with a diamond jewel, representing the hard earned cognition of eternity and blessed with the powers of dovah and shadow and blood. His robes of black with crimson lining and dovah symbols, with silver shoulder pads much akin to those of the common Dovah Haar in the on the mainland, albeit of different design, black feathers popping out underneath. He had tamed ravens working for him that rested on the long spikes that, pointed outwards. His gloves, made of tough Lokheim Dwiin, a strong metal of quality steel. He crossed his arms. He was...arrogant, but that was what we had considered...normal traits amongst the dov.

"Let Kohnakrik deal with that. A few rebels will not dilute our cause." He answered, voice deep and cold as the breath of frost.

I...knew what the nords were like. Stubborn, prideful, but revered those of their betters. Too long we abused our positions and were tasked with terrible labor.

It wasn't long until the rebels were captured and taken to Fellnir. They were experimented upon, shouted their bodies apart. Zoklot let me have first shout, as second eldest.

The nord I destroyed with my thu'um. His body, torn apart, with Zoklot once enjoying the sight, then became unnervingly quiet. I forgot that he was once part of them, those who refused to stand down before their masters. I then thought, killing ones own kind would be different in the eyes of mortals. It was the start of me questioning Alduin's lordship and the way we treated mortals in general.

Zoklot eventually refused to watch the tortures happen and he often brooded in his bedchambers. Though the fortress could contain dovah like myself, a temple on top of the mountain in the middle, his wasn't far from the shrine.

Inside was the Temple of Akatosh, or it once was. Alduin ordered it replaced with a statue of himself, the true God of Skyrim. I descended into the temple via the large circular entrance to see Zoklot down in prayer.

"Ton lor brudaht hi (Thousand thoughts burden you)" I called to him.

"Vokun iliis zey, Paarthurnax (Shadow's hide me, Paarthurnax)" He replied.

Hmmm...I had not suspected Zoklot to display much fear, but his heart...was troubled.

He took off his mask and placed it on the ground. A rarity. Alduin did not want to see the faces of those he empowered, lest he be reminded that they were once considered amongst mortal kind and want them nothing more than to be extremely loyal servants. His face, weathered, a scar diagonal from the right side of his forehead to the left side of his chin. His eyes, hollow but brimming with dovah energies in their blue-like glow. Such is the life given up to become a priest. To forget ones self.

Zoklot had slain many a nord in Alduin's name with his sheer prowess in assassinating skills. There was no honour in that, but it kept Alduin fed with enough souls when he went to Sovngarde to feast.

His hair a deep orange crimson and beard of equaly colour. I saw him as man and he did not fear showing it.

"Tell me, Paarthurnax. We seek to enslave those who dare oppose us, but to me it feels like we're enslaving ourselves." He admitted, his heavy accent notwithstanding.

"Ren los sahlom (Doubt is a weakness) that Alduin will surely find heretical. Shed them and you will ascend to favour once more."

He grumbled.

"The people are useless, of unlikeable stench. I hated those who dared to call me brother! And spit in my eye and call it rain! I wanted them dead. But I also wanted control. I wanted power. And I was willing to do what ever it took to make my life whole again!"

I tilted my head. I wasn't told much of Zoklot's past before he had been promoted as Dragon Priest. He'd been the first to find Alduin and pledge his services. He'd set up the order to keep the nords in line. And it was a powerful structure. Zoklot was once a great tactician who won many battles before the Dragon War spilled more blood than expected.

"Why do you speak this to me? Alduin has given you what you have wanted. Hin hah los gram (Your mind is clouded.)" I informed him, needing his head back into the brink,

But then he glared, his eyes nearly as piercing as my brothers.

"How...how do I know Lord Alduin will not end up killing me and devouring my soul instead?" He questioned. A question that I'd never seen coming.

"You're his brother! You are second-born. He never comes to Fellnir anymore! How am I in his favour?"

I looked down.

"Alduin is often busy in the field. He prefers to sit up upon Monahven to observe. He will use the thu'um if he needs us."

There had been many an occasion where the tension rose amongst the mortals and Alduin was often nowhere to be found, even when he was summoned. He tended to his duties less, to which Zoklot became even more paranoid. And weakened.

I was there, to my shame when the monstrosity that was the Dovahkriid started to slay my brothers around the fortress. We were younger, we didn't understand. That there was one who could kill us...permanently. I had doubted my brothers claim to us being the high end of all life and that the lesser species should obey us. Meyye.

Back then I was only doing as I was told to do. But being with mortals, brought forth a new light to my eyes. Mu lost zofaas. I ordered my fellow dovah to eliminate the threat, until it was...too late...

The sky burned under the influence of this incredible power, only known to dovah. Our question, was how could a mortal, possess such a power without knowing...and where did they come from?

As I watched my brothers die around me, Zu'u lost ko reik, I was in shock, as the fortress was struck and nearly destroyed.

I was soon the only dovah left on the island. Traumatized by this...small, seemingly impossible abomination that and not only slain my fellow dovah, but devoured their souls. He came up to the top of the fortress, to the throne that was my wall, my perch, his very armour and robes...not like our draconic design at all. I dubbed him Vostahdim lir, the Unholy Worm. He was clad in such...daedric influences that I had the desire to burn him down and make him suffer for his treachery.

It was then that something flew out of the ashes and rubble with strong magical wings like those of the lokraan sonah, the bird kind and aura, wielding his blade and staff, determined to defeat the Vostahdim lir. Zoklotinhaar, was furious, his home...obliterated.

The combat, the battle between them was immense. I recognized the Vostahdim Lir as one of our own...a Dovah Priest under Zoklot's command. It was an incredible battle between two powerful forces as I watched on, spells cast of fire, ice, lightning, shadow and daedric were cast across from one another. I could not mindoraan, comprehend the very powers of the Vostahdim Lir. The battle lasted hours, with the draining of his magicka reserves, forced him to bring out his weapon, stolen from the Dwemer. The Nahiisk...or, Fang of Fury. Alduin himself empowered it to have as much bite as a dragon as he went to swipe the traitor, but he was often too quick, using the thu'um with impressive valor. My eyes widened as the Vostahdim had an easy opening and impaled Zoklot with his blade of tentacles, sos, blood, spreading everywhere. He dropped to the ground easily...and messily.

"Not so Grand now are we?" The traitor mocked.

Zoklot stared up at him with great anger and passion. He battled like he used to, but, porah naal tozein.

I took his weapon out, I was...I had never been so angry before. As the traitor walked up to me, I prepared myself, until he sheathed his weapon. His mask...so...foreign. Unnatural.

"It would be wise brother of Alduin, not to bother fighting me. Better yet, I'll let you live to see as a testament to dragon-kind that they can be killed. Instill fear into your master and let him know that if he wants me, he has to come and get me. I will be in Solstheim."

I knew that voice. I decided, out of necessity, to not fight back as much as my pride wanted me to. I hissed and bared my wings, but he mocked me and left with as much as a shout, summoning a dovah, a serpentine one at that, to his whim, and fleeing on it's back. We'd...be betrayed...in more ways that one.

I headed to the mainland, now that Fellnir was no more and Zoklotinhaar was dead. My brothers, gone and devoured. My heart was filled with krosis. Sorrow. I aimed to find my revenge one day.

With Alduin not really caring what would have happened and I was the only left to give orders, I informed Konahkriik, the head priest on the mainland to find the traitor at all costs. While I'd left to find Alduin, he sent Vahlok to destroy the betrayer with a swarm of dovah. And never really heard back from him since

The Dragon War started some time after that. The incident sent shockwaves to the Nords. He was right. I'd lost faith as I fled to the Monahven, also known as the Throat of the World. Alduin was not there. The war looked hopeless as I looked at the gram, the clouds in the sky. A warmth penetrated the layer and a shine from the sun poured down over me. I heard whispers, voice unknown to me. But I understood them, then from my point and my location closer to the roof the realm that I found myself in often, I then remembered...

Amongst Akatosh, there was Kyne. Goddess of the Storm. I extended my wings to embrace the warmth on my scales. Kyne's gift to me. But why was she communing with me, of all things?

She told me, that she had gifted mankind with the thu'um and that this war belonged to the mortals. The Dovah were being punished for our overbearing nature and it was time to let them fight back. However, in order to do so, that she had chosen me, to be the Mindopah, to teach mortals how to use the thu'um. I would then be seen as a traitor myself, to my fellow dovah. But, I would have to convince the like-minded, to join me...

It had be a strenuous task. I was Kyne's Servant, who had made me see the error of my ways through example as I flew through the realm, seeing the slaughter being laid seige beneath me. My own heart...it strangely...felt things it never felt before. Zoklot, your spirit lies with me. This was what was troubling you.

I could see it. The downfall of the Dovah. But...even then...with my convincing and close calls, I did gather the faithful and teach them, taking them to the throat of the world to raise them with the thu'um.

It proved to be a pyrrhic success with the help of one of Kyne's mortal servants. I...was gravely injured but I survived. Alduin never found out about my betrayal...but I suspect he will soon enough. Or he already knows.

* * *

I felt a small budge beneath my wing. The Dovahkiin had awoken from her slumber and trip in the Laaglein. Her spirit, not unlike the traitors but...felt more noble. She chooses to fight and chooses to make haste. Instinct would warn me to kill her. I cannot help that unfortunately, Mahfaeraak jahr do yol. Pity I cannot go along with her. I would give up my immortality to speak with Zoklot one more time.

**And thank him for making me see.**


	55. Lore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra finds her purpose. But then finds out from Karliah a piece of missing piece of important history, about Dragons and Nightingales, meeting an individual she never expected to come face to face with.

 

I batted my eyes a few times. I could feel the cold sting of snow around me and the feeling closer to rough leather. I'd almost forgotten where I was, under the wing of the ancient Dragon Paarthurnax. As expected, I had a quickened heartbeat. I struggled to shuffle myself out of the cranny that I'd nestled myself in and prepared for the journey of a life time.

Paarthurnax himself had been very helpful and created a new perspective for me, on how dragons are. He's here to assist me but for me to be anxious always was a natural reaction. He was in restraint, staring at me as I stood up. I wasn't quite sure what to feel and or to believe. But I had something I needed to do...and fast.

"How was your slumber, Dovahkiin?" He asked. I'll never get over the fact that dragons believed in civility.

I shrugged. A bit sore actually.

"I uh...yeah...but my path is clear. I need to go to an island known as a Fellnir. Do you know of it?" I asked.

I used to think that the dragons has their own level of comprehension that, as immortal beasts that they would reach a kind of an ascended connection, spiritually and mentally that no man or mer could reach, only if they would throw away the thralls of their ugly, meaty lives that can attain such a feat. Another sense to them that to us, would simply destroy our minds. Each to their own tense and proud behaviours, but Paarthurnax either pitied or felt something else for mortal kind.

People would think their wisdom was near infinite. I knew better. As nigh-unkillable beings (besides me being able to slay them) it would be only inevitable to the fact that they simply wanted people to think they know everything, and have the guise of the greatest mysteries to torment man and mer until the end of time. I can be a healthy skeptic. Nocturnal for example. She simply won't reveal her true aim because she like's pissing people off with her secrecy. Have to keep up the whole darkness charade after all.

"Fellnir? Hmm...yes...Dinok ahrk Yevul...death and torment. A land I would never visit again." He answered in melancholy.

My eyes widened. A place of bad memories.

"So you've been there yourself?" I pushed on.

"Yes." He replied. "I will urge extra caution, if you haven't been told already. It was nothing but rubble and ghosts...but, it may be...hmmm.."

Bryn, if you're still there somewhere. Please be okay. You have to be..

I stood firm in front of Paarthurnax, staring him down with eyes of fresh determination.

"I shall destroy what ever stands in my way. Be it mortal...or dragon. My soul stands to devour as my spirit-father made me. My heart may weep but it is made of solid steel that contains a passionate flame like none other. The shadows protect me. _ **"**_  I must have said that like a dozen times already. Oh well. A girl can be a bit dramatic can't she?

Paathurnax was...smiling. I think. Dragon's are hard to read sometimes.

"Good to see you are eager. Thraat faas hi grolah, you are definitely Dovahkiin." He acknowledged.

I blushed a little. Yeah...a few months ago I wouldn't have been that over the moons regarding what I was and what I was becoming. I was talking to Paathurnax, my mind seeing him as another person in a different form. Makes me wonder how I would see myself as a dragon? Terrified? Knee deep in irony? Little bit of both I reckon.

But...I had to make sure. I approached the dragon withdrawing the senses inside of me. I couldn't stop my heart from beating so fast but hopefully I'll get over that in time. But...I also had to be honest with the old dov, after (I hoped) he was honest with me.

"Yeah...bout that. Look, you're right about me being scared. I still am. My mind just gets caught in a loop of bad memories, replaying over and over with each and every single dragon and it's killing me. I want...I want..." I pleaded as I skimped through the mental imagery.

He lowered his head towards me, giving me quite the fight, and tilted his head. His face...old and aged. He must have had the dragon equivalent of dark circles underneath his eyes. Tired...and worn. Like me...but I was still in my youth and, well, time isn't going to be my best friend.

"We're all weary and scarred by the dewclaws of our foes. It's the path to domination, how we have seen each other, not in drem but in war. Are the dov not so different from mortals?" Paarthurnax questioned.

I held myself, a strike of pain shooting through me from the result of my anxiety and panic. My phobia flares up but by being close...I don't know...but...we are ridden with our own wounds. I had many...many with their own stories to tell. Some more painful to speak about than others. But Paarthurnax...he would have thousands more stories than I, and his state was more than proof enough for me to believe...his own would hold more weight than mine and that everyday he was burdened with an eternal struggle that will last him until the end of time.

"It takes great Ahkrin ahrk fen, courage and will to fight one's self. I understand your dilemma. It requires effort to combat. But you have shown to bring forth the energy inside of you. While you may fear it, that you use what comes naturally to you and use against your enemies, disregarding the hilaus, the heart ache that weighs heavily upon you. See yourself as what you are and what you can be if you will it so and avoid falling into the melancholy that the dov often find themselves in often."

I wasn't even aware that they even did that. I've been extremely ignorant. I bowed my head to him in a slow motion.

"I have to command myself to be rational and not let...not let the pain take hold of me. That's what I've always wanted. I am to what the Gods desired me to be. And I need to make sure that they haven't made the wrong choice." I summarized.

Paarthurnax nodded. Is he smiling again? I think he is.

"Being Dovahkiin and the paths you have chosen are of your own choice. While you have been written into the currents of time by Akatosh as Dovahkiin, to what end and to what meaning is completely up to you."

I had to be firm with that. In the end, it will boil down to me...making the right choice. I see that. Both Paarthurnax and Hahnubopraan have been very wise and patient with me. For the first time in my life...I am honoured by their presence, which is a great surprise to which I had been living in fear due to the atrocities caused by their brothers.

I need to make sure, that perhaps, I would need to know...to truly overcome...

"Paarthurnax...if you don't mind...can...can I pat you?" I asked. Such a stupid question that my face was nearly burning with embarrassment.

I think his expression was either...stunned...or amused. Couldn't tell which.

"Is this some sort of companionship display? I don't recall touching as part of anything. I am not a pet of the Greybeards you know...but...alas, if you'd think it would help."

I walked up closer to his head. To define what was a very intelligent creature from a vicious beast was a very blurred line. They were capable of very definitive thoughts and judgments gained from ages past. I was only trying to see...perhaps it would help with my phobia. My heart forever rapid in beating, was making me hesitant but like many times before, I must force myself to push through it.

It took a few tries as I my hand rested near his head but not touching it. I was expecting some kind of reaction, but...my hand was shaking too much to be considered stable.

A...strange feeling took hold of me once I managed to lay my hand on his scaly head. I began rubbed the rough, odd sensations but...ripples that started off from my fingertips enveloped my body with an unfamiliar feeling. It was subtle, but then got sort of used to it. I took deep breaths through my nose, watching myself caress the beast. He melted underneath me. He was actually enjoying it.

It was...nice seeing a dragon without the powerful animosity to kill me. He was so mellow about it and perpetually grinning.

"You have delicate hands Dovahkiin." He commented.

"You should start working your magic on my back. My old bones ache."

I chuckled. I myself, felt a bit relaxed because of it. But this moment was like that the tension just melted away, leaving me content and accomplished. Just like when I helped Brynjolf with his massage.

But I had to stop or else I would get carried away with the petting. Different from Khajiit like Ayisha. Never hugged an Argonian either.

"Hmm...I see. Bold move. But you have the touch of Kyne in your heart. Like she had sent you to me."

Just another mortal...

"I thought I was sent by Akatosh?" I pointed out.

"We all see Akatosh as our borham, our father, Kyne is considered Monah, but more of a Mother to Men, Ekrah do faal Strun, Goddess of the Storm that protects them. She will guide you as she has for me."

I nodded and smiled.

"I'll take that into consideration." I acknowledged.

He stretched his wings and pushed himself up into the air.

"See that it you do. I'm sure I'd like to keep tinvaak with you Dovahkiin, but you have work to do. Farewell."

* * *

I wandered back down the mountain feeling more enlightened then I'd ever been. Thoughts of dragons still charge my heart, but knowing there are those out there who have given themselves as species considerate thinking about how they act is quite noble indeed and I'd admire them for that, for their strength and will is what keeps their inherent nature at bay. For they have been here since the dawn of time and have wasted themselves on petty conquests.

To test that might would be a challenge. To oppose the manner and being of what is dragonkind and meaning of my own birthright.

I am not meant to fear, but I am to be cautious. To know what to do. Yes. I know where I was heading and the preparation to get where I needed to be. I had work to do.  
I went down back to High Hrothgar and met up with Arngeir, whom I suspect wanted to know what Paarthurnax had said to me. I should have been angry with him when he didn't mention that he was a dragon, but anger now isn't going to help. I, like the dragons, must contain the hidden depth of the urges to dominate, for my spirit burns like those of the dovah.

"I see in your eyes that your path is clear, Dragonborn. Paarthurnax always imparts more wisdom into any of us than no one will willingly give. To what instruction is your own, for you and him are more alike that you may realize. I hope he allayed some of your concerns." He stated to me.

It certainly opened my eyes.

"I am beckoned to try. My heart says otherwise, always but...this is in my structure. This...has to be definite for me. But...do you know much of Fellnir? The island to the North?" I asked.

Arngeir frowned.

"Figures they were head to their derelict place of tyranny and nightmares. The Priests did horrible things there and I would condemn you to find out. But if that is where you must go. We will not stop you, other than to urge caution."

So much darkness I had sensed. No doubt as Prolg intended. I just...hope that Brynjolf and Ayisha are alright.

"Go now. Head the call. Sky above, Voice within."

* * *

I left the Monastery and was left drifting in my thoughts as I walked down the mountain. The world was always going to be perilous. But this was going to be more dangerous that I had ever imagined possible. My heart yearns and my spirit continues to cry out. I had to head to Riften, to let them know that I may or may not come back alive.

If what Paarthurnax said was true, then the Gods have gifted me with the power of choice. What I wanted was for Bryn to be to his old true self and find his spirit within the structure that he wanted. He wouldn't want this. Neither would Ayisha. But we were caught up in this horrible mess together and I was the only one who could stop it.

I would never stop worrying but it meant I had a picture in my head of where this was going to all end and be damned if I wasn't going to create it. Others would say that you may never always get what you want, but I will give it my best shot.

Even if it...kills...me...

No...killing would cause more pain to Brynjolf and to the people of Skyrim. I couldn't have doubt cloud my mind and ruin my opportunities again. This had to be done.

I came back to Riften during the night, my subconscious baring down on me, telling me this may be the last time I'll ever see it. It's a run down town but it was the home away from home and the only place that accepted me. I walked over to the Talos shrine as the torchbugs danced around it, reminding me of the times that Bryn and I spoke with the God of Man, voicing our thoughts to the once great emperor. I will not continue to stain the name of Dragonborn any longer and bring honour to our predecessors...and those whom have died in our name.

I went into the Cistern, empty. I saw Karliah, standing there at the desk. She looked at me. I wandered up to her as she had an interesting look on her face.

"Oh, Petra. Good to see you again. How...how is everything? Any progress?" She asked me.

Such a kindness within her heart. Like Brynjolf, you forget she's a thief like me. Kleptomaniacs in a world of constant conflict that we let the thrill run through our veins.

"Indeed...I have to go to an island called Fellnir, to the north. I'm about to head off to Winterhold and make my way there. I'm...thinking this might be the last time I ever get to speak to you." I told her, not holding back.

Her face fell, saddened.

"I see...well, if you want any help, I've spoken with a few people whom, most could only voice their support. You nords astonish me sometimes. Your stubborn nature, your lore regarding the dragons and the religions that surrounded them. I did get some information that is quite interesting indeed if you have time to hear it."

I nodded. Any info here was most welcomed. Especially when it was crawling into the unknown.

"Sure."

She pulled out a book and flipped a few pages in.

"I've found some fascinating lore that involves both Akatosh and Nocturnal, somehow connected through the shades of twilight."

I furrowed my brow.

"Connected? In what way?"

She continued.

"There have been Nightingales in the past that have been Dragonborn like yourself. One of our past members connected the link between the use of the shadows and the spirit of the dragonborn within. I then discovered, that the child...was related to my grandmother... Barenziah. If you know your history, that she once had...intimate relations with Tiber Septim himself. The story goes that she got pregnant with him and he had ordered the child to be aborted. Only she got away with giving birth."

I blinked. One of the oldest, most controversial of tales.

"Really? So...she must have hid the child then." I assumed.

Karliah nodded. Consider me intrigued.

"Yes and reading further indicates the child, a son, was sent to Morrowind. He was half-dunmer half-nord, but mostly dunmer in appearance, and was shunned. He then became a member of the Morag Tong, then came to Skyrim once Red Mountain had erupted and lived in Windhelm for sometime. He'd fallen in love with a nord, but Windhelm's issues with the local dark elves there forced them to flee to Riften and had children there. They had a daughter, a woman that had the tendency to see things. Which, to that...is the most fascinating part of all..."

I looked left and right...Karliah's face lit up as someone wandered into the room. A frail figure, adorned in black robes and a necklace that had the nightingale symbol. Her face, wrinkled but soft and faded red hair and green eyes that seemed familiar.

I was puzzled to say the least.

"And...you are?" I questioned she approached us both.

Karliah was more in awe than anything.

"Petra, this Nemetona. Archivist of Nightingale Lore, Caretaker of the Twilight Sepulcher."

I browed. Never thought much of a place that delved in secrets to keep them up somewhere. But, you know...if it'd help.

"Nemetona..." I whispered, still perplexed.

The old woman smiled.

"I figured that you wouldn't be able to recognize me. I've been away for a very long time. Even then, it was only to investigate to see what the Cult was up to. And I see now that they are completing what they started many years ago."

I looked at Karliah for answers. She didn't say a word.

"You're Petra? I'd heard a lot about you. We share a mutual friend..not just Karliah, but...you know Delphine?"

I nodded. Everyone's connected these days.

"Yeah...she helped me kill a Dragon in Kynesgrove...amongst other things." I answered. Though, I suspected there was more to it.

"You also know my son Brynjolf. I wasn't surprised when he decided to follow my footsteps after the way he was treated by his father."

My eyes widened. What?

"Wait...you're his mother? He said you were dead." I exclaimed.

Nemetona shook her head.

"I indirectly implanted that story in his head when I found out the Twilight Sepulcher had been desecrated by a traitorous Nightingale. Karliah told me that you personally dealt with the threat and were also the reason why the Guild is booming lately. I must thank you."

A dark pit dwelled in my stomach. I was hoping that this wasn't going to happen again, but it came out as guilt. His...mother. Bryn's mother. Shit...

I looked down, ashamed. Damn it...

"Yeah...I did...look, I'm certain Karliah has already told you ab-"

She rested her hand on my shoulder.

"Shh...it's okay. They won't harm my son. He's too special to the Cult. They're spoil him rotten that's for sure. But like you, I want to see him back to his old self." Nemetona assured me. 

I nodded nervously. Of course I did.

"Yes...yes I do ma'am." I stuttered.

She grabbed hold of my chin and looked deep into my eyes. Her own...the colour...just like Brynjolf's. She was...attempting to read me.

"Your eyes are filled with intrinsic energies but tell me you are conflicted. But...you are determined which takes over all the rest. But yes, you are not the first Dragonborn Nightingale. Talos himself was once, temporarily, a thief. It just isn't written in lore that you may find elsewhere. Nocturnal's secrets must been contained. But I am Loremaster, I protect all the knowledge and write down new information that comes to pass and makes history. Tiber is also our ancestor, to hidden truths. Many lies were written to hide us. But the Cult of Slaughter make strange bedfellows. I didn't know who Prolg was until it was too late." She said in somber.

I rubbed my chin...this made me more pissed off than before.

"So, you...didn't know?" I questioned further.

I found hard to believe.

"No...sadly. I was much in love with the man I thought I knew... Bryn may never tell you much, that I was just a crazy old woman. And he was right. Our true ancestry is bleeding with murder, lies and betrayal. My only wish was that he not get into this mess...but it seems we can never find true peace within ourselves. Despite all the trouble, it is good to see he has been with people who care about him."

My face went red again. Oh Gods...

"Your son is a good man. He's saved my life many times. I am forever in his debt."

Nemetona smiled at me. She seemed to know more.

"That much is certain. I know that look...I'm more than elated to see that he has someone who loves him just as much as I do."

I fake coughed as my face heated up more and I turned away. Of all people I had to meet his mother... Sweet merciful Gods!

"Uhh...yeah..."

Karliah stepped in, because she saw awkward this was making things. I think.

"Loremaster, tell Petra about the details regarding the Dragon Priests..." Karliah noted.

Nemetona's face changed. If she was heartbroken about her son, she wasn't showing it. She has a good heart and has a better facade than me.

"Ah yes. Well, the Dragon Priest that has Brynjolf in a twisted position, Zoklotinhaar, was secretly in league with Nocturnal as well. Old documents from previous Loremasters indicated that he fell in love with her once he found the Evergloam and Nocturnal guided him through troubled times before he finally became a Dragon Priest, swearing himself to something darker than our mistress of shadow. He made a shrine to her somewhere deep in his fortress and was trying to construct another conduit there so he could see her from Fellnir. But the processes never worked. And he never saw Nocturnal again..."

So many famous people of greater history...all linked with our Lady Luck, so it seemed, but never admitted it to anyone.

"The Conduit was only linked to Skyrim. As befitting of our Goddess, she never contacted him again. He was ultimately torn between loyalty to her and loyalty to Alduin."

I nodded. Faith in conflict. I know what that was like.

"And he was slain by a Dragonborn who was rampaging through the early ages. He never did quite get what he wanted in the end did he?" I questioned.

Nemetona frowned.

"No. But he never relayed those concerns to his disciples except only one of his servants who wrote down the lore. Another Nightingale who shared secrets and wrote the early texts. After all the activities that happened on Fellnir, he began to have doubts about Alduin, but never got to live long enough to see the outcome of the Dragon War. The Loremaster became his wife in the end, before he died and they had several children. Most were killed in the War, except a few who made it out, and became the next in line for our dynasty."

Some of that didn't make sense. It'd been many, many years since the Dragon War. How on Nirn did they manage to track the bloodlines? Even after all this time?

"Tragic. You're torn between two very powerful individuals. If I'd had to pick. I'd chose Nocturnal each and every time, but to be that Priest...must have been awful." Karliah commented.

Nemetona crossed her arms.

"Many years that Loremasters have kept records within the Sepulcher hidden rooms of the old books. We had our own enchantments and spells to make sure that only a Loremaster had access. So over the years, we'd note down the bloodline where ever it went, with excruciating detail. The room is a library of the family trees." She explained.

I rubbed my head. So in depth...

"So, why did the Loremaster decide to do so?" I asked.

She pulled out a rather large book, made of black and silver.

"Because Nocturnal ordered us to. She didn't make it clear why. But that's her nature. Did she love Zoklotinhaar back? Who knows. She'll never tell. But in the end, what she stands to gain at the end of the day will always be a mystery. Karliah knows that better than anyone."

I looked at the Dunmer.

"Gallus told me about my true ancestry that my mother never told me about. I suspect he was once a Loremaster himself at one point, until Nemetona proved otherwise." Karliah explained. 

Nemetona agreed.

"Yes. I trained Gallus to be a future Loremaster, in the hopes that it would be secure for years to come. But, as Mercer betrayed the Guild and murdered him, there wasn't much I could do. Karliah had gone into hiding and our ties to the Guild were cut, until you came into the picture, Petra."

I avoided eye contact. So awkward.

"I was only doing as I was told...I'd...been through tough times but I aim to pay my debts and will get your son back." I admitted.

She seemed to appreciate that a lot.

"Be that as it may, you need to survive. Brynjolf needs to know that he's still loved and cared for no matter what shape or form he is in. My concern is if Zoklotinhaar is awakened, he will know you as the Dragonborn who had killed him prior and will attempt to slay you." She warned me.

I've seen enough evidence to know that was already the case. Hmm...now that was a worry. But I was determined to make good on my own promise. My choice to bring him back alive.

"I can come with you Petra if-" Karliah started, before I butted in.

"No..." I told her. "You're needed here with the Guild. I have to go."

The Dunmer frowned. She'd done enough and been through enough. I was not letting her go through this torment.

"Petra..." She muttered, saddened. 

I clenched my fist. I felt the melancholy in my veins. Paarthurnax said this could happen.

"I have to do this on my own. I don't want anyone else hurt in this." I stated.

Oh Gods...I'd sworn I wouldn't cry. Nemetona wrapped her arm around mine.

"You are loyal to Nocturnal and you will have her guidance as she shrouds you."

I looked down. Come on you can do this! Get it into your head woman. You know what to do! This is how it must be! Quit crying! Dragonborn must be strong! Brynjolf and Ayisha's lives depend on it!

I turned to each of them.

Nemetona grabbed onto my hands and examined them, then her eyes drilled deep into mine.

"You...have the mask of Krosis. A formidable Priest." She commented.

I'd almost forgot about that.

"He was once trained by Zoklotinhaar if memory serves. His mask was made as a dedication to the shadows...and in combat. Aids in...well, archery, alchemy and most specially, lock picking. I suggest using that if you find yourself in combat or in a situation that requires delicate touches. To which Karliah assures me you're one of the best in the field...so you'll have no problem with at that." 

Of course...but...I wasn't sure. I would have waited until it was necessary for me to use. But I will keep that in mind.

I shook their hands.

"Thanks guys." I told them with a smile.

"It's been quite the ride.-OOF!"

I was suddenly locked in a hug with Karliah. Strange. I hugged her back. She had her struggles, her burdens for the time being. Let me handle it. I'll be fine. But...I suppose I made it sound final didn't I?

"Swear to us you'll come back alive?" She asked me...almost in tears.

I grinned.

"Yeah sure why not?"

She let go of me and wiped her tears. I had no idea...she must have cared about me a lot. I never realized. She was a good Guildmaster, that I definitely am sure of. I wanted to live. I still had unfinished business. I looked at Nemetona who nodded at me. I nodded back.

"Go see Vex and Delvin. I'm sure they'll want a word with you before you go...and Petra?"

I stopped in the middle of the cistern and stared at Karliah.

"Eyes open, walk with the shadows."

Thankfully my eyes will always be open from now on.


	56. Fellnir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra heads to the infamous island to find Brynjolf and Ayisha, determined to bring them back at all costs.

 

I once considered myself unspecial in a world so vast. How it picked me out of all these people was anyone's guess.

I had spoken with Vex, Delvin, then Tonilia and the rest, thanking them for...well, being there. For a bunch of thieves, they either didn't care or they had rehearsed that type of act of not caring. I was like that, but...I know I didn't care that what happened but now...my heart had it's void filled by those I would have never associated myself with prior and that the Guild had evolved to become my real family, even though back when I was a little girl I would have never seen myself as a thief. Little girl with a big dream? Just marry some guy and live off him until I died. Healthy perspective eh?

But my time with the Guild changed me in ways I could never imagine possible. That I was actually competent at something rather being a lazy ass bitch who would sit around all day involving herself in the latest gossip...only the gossip is juicier on this end.

Delvin had wished me luck, as for Vex. She was apathetic, only for the part where she told me not get myself or Brynjolf killed or else she'd kick me out of the Guild. Only Vex. All heart.

It all seems final, doesn't it? I don't mean to make it sound like that. If I treat this like any other job, it will be fine. But the main issue is that it's extremely personal and I am unable to part myself from that. Tonilia at least found me an extra bushel of arrows and ordered me to come back alive as well. I'll try Ton, I'll try.

I left the cistern with a heavy heart. I will come back. I swear I will. I will not come back until I complete what I set out to do.

To bring Brynjolf and Ayisha back.

Riften seemed smaller than I remember. Like I could cradle it in my hand, observing the people pottering about within. It's full of awful people, but that was what part of it's charm. A city for the pissed off, the power hungry, the greedy and the like. Never dreamed it would become my home as I pictured it in a snow globe.

It distracted me from the real truths, such as Bryn's mother being alive and Bryn being a descendant of Talos. I'm not one to believe in much but...I don't know. I wouldn't doubt the Loremaster's words and records. It's just a funny part of life that would never make sense otherwise. The way that history molded itself in such a way that Brynjolf had no idea what was going on. And they got away with that secret. Leaving Bryn in the darkness that was shaped around him.

As Dragonborn, I have to hunt for the pieces myself. I have to be pro-active and seek out the shards of my destiny and give it the rightful deliverance to the people who depend on me to save the world for them. Several months ago I wouldn't have cared, but to waste this opportunity would sour the Gods opinions of me...and I wouldn't have given two septims about it. Its something about developing change and your heart that evolves with it. People never realize that you have to take serious consideration into actually taking the role and using it for it's real purpose. As I intend to. You have to know how your heart will work with this and will be torn between what is right and what is easy.

I had the backing of the Gods, plus Nocturnal. They must put their faith with me. I never wanted it originally, because the powerful burden it had on my psyche, the unbearable anguish that I would feel if I failed, only for me to discover that I can make the choice not to fail and make anything, any result in my advantage. This is why I am more confident in my abilities...to be allowed to say yes, this is my choice and I will succeed and try and try again until this is what the Gods themselves foresaw.

But, the choice must fit my own desires. My spirit yearns for what it wants and I am allowed that freedom. The only thing I would disallow would be the others, not the ones whom the Gods chose, to die on my behalf. That is for certain. This isn't their fight. This is mine. This is what happens when you are weak. If I see myself as strong, then I will prevail.

Okay, you can quit being sappy now Petra. Get on with it. I left Riften with Cody, and never looked back.

* * *

  _But now..._

_I'd never felt so alone..._

* * *

 

I made the trek to Winterhold. I knew my path and repeatedly told myself this is what I had to do. I made it to the City of blizzards, magic and ruin in hardly any time at all, or my mind was just so caught up in all the memories Brynjolf and I shared together and told myself in order to make myself feel better and to cling on to my goal, create a lining with another goal...to create even more memories.

I walked into the College and headed up to the top of the northern tower and looked over the Sea of Ghosts. I was prepared for as much as I could prepare myself for, but I had the notion that what ever I had wouldn't be enough. To will myself out of that state took a lot of effort, convincing my subconscious to make it work.

It was cold...it was hammering snow but I was alive. Sounds strange, listening to me say these words...I need them. I would still be hesitating otherwise. Still am, but I have to force determination down my throat as much as I can.

I inhaled deeply...

" **BO...VOND UFT!** "

In that, I was swallowed by the nexus of energies that summoned my corporeal dragon wings and flapped several times before leaping off the College roof and flying my way north.

I allowed myself to practice with my flight, balancing myself from above and beneath the clouds, seeing the sun rising in the east. I definitely felt like a Dov, soaring around. For a mortal it's astounding. We weren't meant to fly. But Kyne, Kynareth herself granted me the ability to fly in her realm, to feel the breeze on my cheeks and the wind on my spirit. A slight chill but I can manage.

* * *

 

I remembered speaking with Vex on one of those rare occasions where she was in a slightly better mood than she usually was. Both of us were at the Flagon, still trying to wrap our heads around what happened with Mercer. After a few pints, we started getting philosophical.

"You know, I'd really hate to have your job." She commented.

We sat by one of the tables. Most people were either asleep or doing jobs. Bryn was busy with something on the surface and after much convincing from Karliah, she ordered me to relax for a while. Heh...she becomes Guildmaster and one of her first orders is that?

"How so?" I wondered.

"It's a damn spotlight. You can't tell me that for what ever reason, that a person would have that much responsibility on their shoulders and still keep a level head about it all.

She answered. I don't believe myself to be entirely sane but I'm managing.

"Makes me feel like my own trauma is not worth a damn."

My heart sunk. I didn't even think about it from another persons perspective. Vex had it hard, trying to recover from months, if not years of manipulation.

"I'd like believe we all have our own things to worry about in life." I said. "What happened to you doesn't make it any less valid."

Here I was, still absolutely, positively terrified of the beasts yet having to comfort one of the best thieves I'd ever met.

She brushed me off.

"Hmph. I've read the stories too. Old stories. I've fought wild animals and trolls. I'll fight a Dragon if I have to. You tend to place yourself on measly coin. Less messy that way." She said.

I hardly knew of Vex's past. All I knew was that it wasn't even her real name. Just like Sapphire. Never felt to change mine at all...although Rune joked about there being a Hagraven named Petra, he had to be taking the piss.

"They're crafty. But I don't blame you for seeing the downside. If I had my way, I'd chosen some other heroic individual to do it all. No matter if I slay one dragon or a dozen, I still don't think I'm worthy of the respect." I said, before I sipped my drink.

I heard her chuckle, before she slapped me on the back. Vex may have been an Imperial, but she sees things that just plain suck, just like me. No wonder we got along so well.

"Petra, my dear, heroism is overrated. It breeds arrogant assholes who demand respect be given to them rather than earned. If it means taking them down a peg or two then so be it." She said, though I'm certain she's had a few that have gone to her head.

"No offence."

I never wanted to be a hero, honestly.

"But I've seen how your handiwork gives results. And the passion you give in combat. Never seen anyone fight with that type of aggression before."

I'll admit I'll fall into Dragonself more than I realize.

"So I conclude you were meant for so much more in this life and respect doesn't even cover it."

* * *

 

It took me a while, but I could see the dilapidated fortress in the distance, fallen to ruin. There were a few boats dotted around the harbor, but I had to find an entrance that won't reveal my position. I suspect the Cult would have dozens of guards everywhere so I had to infiltrate the fortress the only way I knew how...

By Stealth.

I flew down to the docks, my landing a lot more graceful this time. I actually managed to land on my own two feet and withdraw the draconic energies. From above, Fellnir seemed so small, but from where I was at the docks, it was...so intimidating that I felt nothing but strange evils from it. It was huge, seeing something, maybe the temple on the top that I was told about, that sat underneath the cloudy skies that made it seem more like night than day. Good. I needed darkness.

I looked around, seeing nothing much, but a lot of rocks and dragons tongue flowers that went up the scale of the mountain in a zigzagged path. There were patrolling guards on duty, wearing their magical robes and garb. The only way to infiltrate...

is with the shadows...

I summoned my Nightingale Armour and snuck around. I would have to make sure I was to remain unseen. I approached the guard from behind and slit his throat, carrying his body and then threw it over the rocks to the ocean below. A good start.

The way inside was a bit of a task though. Though the ruins had been ransacked many eras prior, the walls were still standing, made of sturdy rock bricks. I went up hill and prepared my bow, firing at several unsuspecting guards and disposed of their bodies quickly as well, but making sure I retrieved used arrows first.

I finally found the entrance, only for the guard to be a bloody huge blood dragon, sitting upon the gigantic wall, watching over the huge arch that contained the door way, with more guards patrolling their posts.

Damn...this just got more difficult. By alerting the dragon, I would be alerting the entirety of the guard, and Zoklotinhaar would be aware of my presence.

Luckily, I had a few bottles of invisibility tucked away. I drank one and scurried my way past the door. There had to be an easier way in. The hill went up higher along the side, with a broken part of the high part of the wall. If I could climb that...

I had this feeling the dragon knew I was there, but didn't say much as to not actually see anything with his own two eyes. But my aura had to be obvious. Nocturnal...please protect me.

I made it across without much hassle and the potion fulfilling it's purpose. There was a dead tree that in a corner out of the sight of the guards nearby. I climbed the tree and carefully walked across the branches to enter the hole in the side.

My eyes quickly adjusted to the new lighting, revealing the warn down halls of the fortress. Even after all these years, the place smelt of death and had an awful feel to it, like the spirits of the ancient nords still lingered...just...depressing.

My plan was to find Ayisha and get her out of here first, then confront Brynjolf, or his possessor. It made me think a lot as I paraded the halls, sticking to the shadows and taking down draugr left and right...

When I say I am nothing special, I mean, I have no special lineage that I am aware of. Mother and father, honest people with an honest living. Father used to talk about how our family are mostly survivors at best, but otherwise pretty ordinary. You get sucked into the notion how nothing will change and it wasn't bad. I complained about farm life in general but when you look back now it was the best you could do without getting yourself killed raiding crypts and other ruins for treasure and killing the undead. I never saw myself getting into that nonsense when I was younger but now look at me.

Mother used to say that I could linger around much longer and marry that boy I used to hang around with from the farm down the road. I had to admit he was cute, but when I remember, that letter that was sent to me, I thought nothing of it. I thought it was the boys trick to propose to me and marry off somewhere and perhaps live in the Imperial City as merchants. A simple life that would support myself and my family.

But as my family is nothing but...just...death I have nothing to go back to. I do want to go back to the farm, but...nothing is there without the mother and father who loved me and raised me.

I don't think they'll all too happy that their daughter is now a professional thief. But if I could send coin there I would. But father only wanted honest coin and would think that sending hoards of septims down his way would seem suspicious. I did long to see them again.

But I wondered if he would be proud that his daughter was Dragonborn, to gain the admiration of the nords in our homeland. He always said that, while he appreciated me helping him out, that if I wanted to do something better than slaving away in a farm all my life, that I could. But then I felt guilty for leaving him and mother there. And so...my journey continued.

My only regret would be there I wasn't there to protect them. I was a lot stronger and yet I failed to lend them my strength when they so desperately needed it. I knew from Bryn's descriptions that Prolg is an awful person, but to murder...my own family, is something I cannot just, forgive and forget. He will die, one way or the other.

Upon the revelations of the lineage that Bryn was born into surprised me a bit, considering Brynjolf is a bit of a conservative regarding himself. I doubt he even knew what he was getting himself into and how his blood would actually be considered royalty. He would actually have a bit of the dragonblood in himself, if you were to get technical. I wasn't really sure how that worked, but...

Being from Cyrodiil you hear all the stories about the Oblivion Crisis and the Septim Dynasty being cut off. If you want to delve deeper and if the Loremaster, being his mother, had all the records dating back to Tiber Septim, you can make claim that Bryn has a legitimate right to be Emperor, if Titus Mede II were to hit the dust.

Knowing him, he wouldn't want it though. He never desired leadership, only to do his work and be left well alone. Only if I could show him and would have gone on more adventures together. But...all this has just ruined it. I only desire to be with him once more and, as much as I want it, I don't know if whether things would be the same between us again.

In my heart, however, none of this was his fault. If I could cast Zoklotinhaar out and bring Bryn back to his old self, I would be certain that perhaps we could make amends and get on the right track again.

* * *

 

I continued to make way throughout the halls, finding myself in a huge room, filled with torturous instruments and more draugr and members of the Cult. Seeing them made me feel sick...but I listened in to their conversation.

"Master Prolg assures us that our beloved Priest should be up to his full strength soon..." One spoke.

The other nodded.

"What are they waiting for?" The other wondered.

The first one shrugged.

"Don't know...the ritual is said to tedious. Requires a lot of ingredients and careful instructions. They may only have a limited amount to the products they have."

Hmm...so they are preparing something...interesting...

"What about the cat? Prolg never said what she was going to be used for."

"Yeah she's locked up on the other side of the building. Locked up tight. Prolg doesn't want anyone touching her until he gives the order."

"I still don't understand what a cat has to do with resurrecting a nord Dragon Priest. Is sacrifice part of the ritual?"

No...you will not touch Ayisha.

"It's old and complicated necromancy at it's best. Lord Alduin himself had the real power to resurrect our blessed Dragon overlords. Is...he going to be here?"

"No. Don't think so. Though Zoklotinhaar is written as his favourite Dragon Priest. Surely this has to please him!"

"The Cult has done so well over the years. Why wouldn't he be pleased?"

I heard enough. In swift motions I fired arrows into the back of their necks with precision and aim, taking the draugr beside them as well.

The Cult will fall.

But now I had Ayisha's location and made haste across the fortress in the hunt to find her before it was too late.

The Fortress' essence was nothing to boast about. It felt charged by the ghosts betrayed by their own brethren. I felt the impure darkness intermingle with the pure shadows blessed by Nocturnal.

It was the kind of feeling that you wanted to run away from. But everything just felt...abnormal. The silence that dwelt within. I took down more draugr, carefully with my Nightingale blade, preserving arrows and energy where I can.

This was beyond the the vibe you would feel with the Dark Brotherhood. We were connected somewhat, but we kept our own matters in house. We provided resources to them at a discount price. Plus we had our connections through Maven, who paid us pretty well too. But...even so. I cannot imagine the horrors that placed themselves here.

But...something wasn't right. The place just shifted...with torches lit from the long hallway I was in, with those in garnet robes pouring through the hallway. A whole lot of them. I looked around, seeing a door way and jumped into it...but...the air itself, no longer had that aged scent. I turned to see blood everywhere on the floor, and a man, a nord, stuck on a rock..his arms and legs torn off and exposing flesh, bone and blood and left screaming for help.

"Please...make it stop...kill me!" He roared.

I looked over to him, my heart tearing apart.

"Tell me what's going on here?" I asked him. I will put him out of his misery soon enough.

He cried in pain, I felt nothing but dread for this poor soul.

"Zoklotinhaar...the Grand Dragon Priest. I...insulted the dragon lords only once and they put me in this oblivion-cursed place. Tore...my arms and legs...ahhh it hurts..."

I shook my head. No...this...is horrible. I complied with him.

"Don't worry, I won't allow them to torment you any longer!"

I reluctantly slit his throat and heard him whisper, thank you before ceasing. Suddenly I felt wind surround me as the room went dark.

After recomposing myself, there was no body cast in the torture rack. The air returned to smell old and rotten. I looked around. Nothing...nothing around me but ghosts and shadow. It..was an echo?

You just knew horrible things occurred here. It made me feel down but not out. I had to remain focused.

I continued walking around, finding steps down into a dungeon of sorts. Ayisha had to be there. I killed the guards protecting the entrance. It was locked, so I then stole a key from one of the corpses and opened the steel-brass door.

Inside were sets of cages, but...the wind...the aura's changed again. The smell shifted and I could see...a man in black robes, mask and feathers wandering around with a Cultist as they approached a cage. I hid behind a desk and watched as they conversed with a being inside one of the cages.

"You...stand..." The man in ebony called out. His voice held authority.

The man inside the cage was nothing but bone thin, wearing rags and was filthy. He must have been in there a long time.

"Why do you constantly rant and rave about our Dragon Masters being..what? False Gods?"

The man grinned.

"They are nothing but pale shadows of the lord I serve. His power shall burn the world. Dragons are nothing but pompous lizards who are too lazy to rule their own. My lord knows...that Alduin won't even bother with you all eventually."

The man, though, he was extremely pale and had a familiarity about him. Not in who he was, but what he was.

"You are nothing but a waste of flesh that could have been put to use elsewhere. But your heresy was not tolerated, shouting in the streets of nothing but lies and slander, Sosnaak."

The man grinned, revealing his sharpened teeth. I knew what that meant.

He was a vampire.

"You lord fails to show himself, meaning he is nothing but a coward and Alduin will tear him apart, as he has with others who have destered in the past."

The man laughed, albeit very creepily.

"Ohh...oh no. I don't mean Alduin. I know you serve someone else. Molag knows and I can smell it on you Priest. Don't you back hand to me about heresy, hypocrite."

The man turned to the Cultist and nodded. The man walked away, as the Cultist cast flames on the vampire, burning him to a crisp. There was something, chilling as the vampire screamed, but I could swear that he was laughing...

Again, the dungeon went dark...another...echo of the past. The place must have thousands of stories to tell...

But it was huge and just went in deeply. Skeletons and old rusted weapons laid about as I snuck around. There was a huge draugr that I eliminated with a bit of difficulty, but wasn't too hard once I sliced it's head off.

It was protecting an iron door. I sensed a presence behind it. Ayisha, was that you?

I tried to open it, but it was locked tight. I tried picking at it, but it was being extremely stubborn that I must have broke a few dozen picks before almost giving up.

Come on...

_Snap..._

Come on...

_Snap..._

I was down to my last one...and...I wouldn't be able to save Ayisha...I slid down the door, depressed at my failure.

There had to be another way...

I then remembered...

Krosis.

I pulled out the mask and looked at it, feeling the identations. Nemetona...she said it had special lock picking capabilities. I put it on and tried again, albeit very carefully.

My heart skipped a beat a few times, worried that it was going to break again. I took deep breaths, my stomach wrenching. I found a spot and slowly turned willing myself not to shake and screw this up.

And I felt so relieved when I heard that satisfying click for confirmation.

I instantly opened the door, seeing Ayisha laying on the ground, asleep and wearing the same clothes as when I saw her in the Laaglein. Poor girl. I approached her and, well, I wanted to let her sleep, now was not the time. I had to get her out of here.

I shook her gently, causing her yawn and stretch. Her eyes widened as she shuffled back to the corner of the room, frightened. At first, I had no idea what she was scared of, then I realised it was my mask. Oops.

I took it off and tucked it away, smiling at Ayisha, who's face changed instantly at the sight of my face. She instantly got up and hugged me. I hugged her back, a grin striking in my face from ear to ear. I was...overjoyed to see she was still okay.

"Mama..." She croaked, crying into my stomach. I picked her up and carried her, allowing her to rest her head on my neck.

"There there...it's okay..." I spoke softly

"Mama's here. But...you need to get out of here...Mama has to find Papa and end this. Have you seen him?"

Ayisha shook her head.

"No...Ayisha does not want to leave you Mama...Ayisha senses great darkness ahead. Must leave, but must save Papa too."

I frowned. I know what she meant.

"Please Ayisha, they want to use you for a ritual but I don't know what it'll be. I'd rather not find out..."

I then realised there wouldn't be much of a way for her to leave the island without detecting the guards. I checked her finger, seeing that she still had the Ring of Khajiiti on her. Good.

Good.

I put her down, but she just stared up at me with pleading eyes. I don't want her involved in this anymore than she needs to be. Please...Ayisha.

"Mama will bring Papa...I still owe you that promise." I told her.

She sniffed.

"Ayisha will stick to the shadows mama. Alkosh guide you." She told me. She turned herself invisible until no trace of her was heard or seen.

I felt a bit better, though I would be forever worried. I'd go with her but...if she can't manage getting herself off the island, then she definitely has the smarts to make sure she hides. I'm sure she'll be fine...she'll be fine.

I had courage and Ayisha had it as well. I had to force myself to proceed. I quickly left the dungeons, knowing I had at least ensured a life was spared and one of the most precious people I'd ever known. I will take her back to her real parents some day. If I can get to Elsweyr.

I continued upwards in the fortress, still stained with blood, ash and dirt. I found stairs heading upwards, with a few draugr there meant I was heading in the right direction. I nodded, taking them down with swift strikes of silence and metals. I kept myself focused, that pretending that this was just any other job helped me greatly.

There was an open area, filled with crypts of draugr. I had to be cautious as I pursed my lips, keeping an eye on the most important aspects.

_Click..._

I looked down. I hadn't actually stepped on anything? But I could see the colourful slick on the ground and a lamp dropping to the ground. Shit! I ran off, trying not to slip over as the room filled with flames, alerting the draugr and popping them out of their coffins. Shit, shit shit! No!

I found another door that just wouldn't budge open. But then that I heard the Draugr burning to death, I would soon be next.

I sighed...I made enough noise

" **Fus...RO DAH!** " I shouted. I knocked the door off it's hinges and dived forward, avoiding the flames that almost singed me...

Phew!

I walked up the steps, dusting myself off after that horrible experience. But then I happened among an open area. I must have gone up pretty high now. I could see the darkened sky, with grey clouds circling the island.

There were two statues at the end of the open area, now that I see what the broken down temple that I was told about. The floor was of ruined white marble and destroyed pillars that were around the rectangular building. I approached the statues. Upon closer inspection, one statue was a giant one of Alduin, with runes underneath it in the Dragon Language. The one next to it, looked like it wasn't part of the original design of the temple was one I knew well.

Nocturnal.

Nemetona was right. Zoklotinhaar had torn loyalties between his Dragon God and his Daedric Prince. Aedra and Daedra. From what I have seen and heard, it was the Priest himself, who was tormented as such. Whether that reflected among the people he had tortured, was an interesting fact to consider.

If he had made the choice, which one would he have gone with? In theory, it could have been that both of them had actually cut ties with him altogether until he had made his choice. Still, Nocturnal was lady luck and you were bound for fortune, though with Alduin you had the might of the dragons by your side instilling fear into the hearts of men and mer.

I now, forever with the services of Nocturnal would have made that choice, even as Dragonborn, because I know that the world desires precedence and annexing ones self with another god or Daedric Prince is considered just down right weird and heretical, though mostly with the Princes...I have no idea how they work nowadays, just say you worship everyone and get over it.

If I was the Dragonborn in the past, before they knew the monstrosity he was, would I have chosen to worship the dovah? Even though I would be considered among them? Who knows? Apparently the very concept of a mortal having the ability to use the thu'um with such ease as the Dragons, is apparently horrific and outlandish to them as it would be to non-nords.

My fears made me avoid that once-ironic complex, that I was almost considered amongst that very creatures I have my phobia for. You could say I feared myself to an extent that I held the soul of the dragon from within and in alternate circumstances it could be me burning a town to the ground had I let the essences take over and just be as tyrannical as the dov themselves. I wouldn't want that. I have to will that and if it ever got worse, be with Paarthurnax and meditate the urges away.

But then you know, Nocturnal herself doesn't care for prayers or anything of the sort. You serve her and you protect the Skeleton Key and the Twilight Sepulcher. You die and you soul goes to the Evergloam and they provide the very luck that is needed for us to work as thieves.

Zoklotinhaar would have had to have been something of the sort of a Nightingale at one stage, like what Nemetona mentioned. But where, in his mind, was the point where he had gone to worship the dragons? Was it a cultural expectation? How did he come to this position? It's a great mystery. How one would ally himself with Nocturnal then the Dragons? It made no sense.

"They expected that you would arrive eventually lass." I heard a voice trembling with a dozen others.

I turned around, seeing a man clad in the same gear I saw back in the dungeon, but I knew one of the voices that spoke with me.

"Brynjolf..." I muttered. I never expected to encounter him so soon.  
I couldn't see him underneath all that armour and cloth, but given the distinctness of the design, there wasn't any doubt that it was him. My heart was in a whirlwind.

"You made a mistake coming to Fellnir." He told me outright.

I frowned, my heart breaking again, I tried to walk closer to him but he raised his hand.

"Don't...just don't Petra. Go home. Take Ayisha. Before it's too late." He called out.

I shook my head and clenched my fist. I sensed his struggle, akin to my own. A voice in the head that calls to doubt. A nerve that fights with instinct. A peril that screams through two open corridors, but the fork in the road gives no clear distinction.

"I came here to save you Bryn. I want you to come home with me..." I wept.

I could feel my throat tighten and tears running down my face. I could turn the other way and run back.

"You don't have to do this. _Please_. We can figure out a way to stop this. Just..."

Bryn looked down. He was like the priest, holding conflicting loyalties, although his concerns were ensuring he didn't go out of control. I wanted to hold him, kiss him...

"As much as I'd like to, I can't. I can't stand the thought of hurting you again." He spoke with sadness.

I sniffed. I know. I've been where he is. But it was now he who was lacking faith. If only I could make him confident. I wanted my words to sink into him.

"We can figure this out. We'll go home to the Guild..." I said, my voice cracking.

And at this point, I was in the middle of shattering, my voice falling apart.

"We...I will make good on my bargain...to kill a giant...and we can play that stupid game. I know you don't like it, but it would be fun."

He lifted his head.

"Petra...I never knew this was going to happen. Being with the Guild...being with you, were the happiest days of my life. And nothing would make me even more happy, is to stay with you. But I have to sacrifice that happiness, so you can live on. Be Dragonborn. Be who you need to be."

I pursed my lips. I wasn't going to let it go this easily. Now his words were clawing into me instead.

"But I need to be with you. Sounds...selfish of me, but you're the reason I'm still alive. You told me Nightingales should stick together...I'm lost and alone in this world without you." I cried out.

He grumbled. I don't want to be alone anymore.

"You have Karliah...you have Vex, you have Delvin, you have the rest of the Guild, you have most the province...willing to help you because you have helped them. Not exactly the most conventional method possible but you revived the Guild. You...I'm just...a monster."

I glared at him. The ferocity of the breeze increased, playing with my cape.

_A monster..._

"No...you've given up but you didn't give any of it a chance to set things straight. I ran as a Vampire because I didn't want to hurt anybody either. But...you changed my mind. We went to Morthal and I was cured...went spent a night in that house and made love for the first time. Because we gave it a chance Bryn...what is stopping you from doing that now? Tell me!"

He turned away, unable to look at me. I couldn't believe he was just going to throw it all away like that. That is not the man I love...I don't know what happened to him. I wanted him to be free as himself, we could run away somewhere and not deal with any of this. We could retire, live somewhere with ourselves...we could run to Elsweyr with Ayisha, to allow her to go back to her homeland. Anything, I just wanted my Brynjolf back.

"My love for you holds it all back lass. If it weren't for that, I don't know what would have happened..." He muttered. Love may make us do stupid things. But it is our lock and key. But I picked it open for him.

I rubbed my eye. This was my fault. All of it.

"It's because of me. I dragged you into it, without knowing what was going to happen. Had I had known, had I ignored that letter to come to Skyrim, my family would still be alive and you would have been with the Guild, smiling, being devious and up to no good because you were good at it." I cried.

He then turned his back on me. Come on...

"Aye, that much is true...although the Guild would have gone to dust...and Mercer would have gotten away with murder. You helped me see how much of a bastard he really was and I was doubting myself because of it. You convinced me it was going to be okay and that we were going to have fun. But now, with all this...my father..."

My eyes widened...he doesn't...he doesn't know.

"Bryn, I know this is going to sound like a load of crap to you, but...I met your mother...she's still alive."

He turned his head to look at me.

"You're pulling me leg there lass. Don't make jokes like that." He scolded.

I wasn't. I was being totally serious.

"No...your mother. She is Loremaster for the Nightingales. She's with Karliah right now!"

"That much is known indeed...thank you for confirming that for me...Dragonborn.."

I know that voice...from behind Brynjolf was a cultist, but I knew his face well enough as it burned into me that night...

"Prolg." I muttered with venom.

The bald man smirked with evil delight and started pacing around. He was like one of those bard-like people...or a horrid thane with bouts of despicable attitudes, thinking himself high and mighty.

"Mercer kept me with much detail over the years. Having stolen the Skeleton Key and murdered Gallus, enabling us to access the old Nightingale records. Such a library is extremely priceless, allowing us to dictate and navigate ourselves to find the true, blood heir to the Grand Master Priest throne. And what better person, than my own son."

I growled. I wanted to stab him in the throat, leave him hanging at the gallows and let the wolves eat him...then, let the dragons burn him. Let's see how that goes.

"But it allowed us to find that you were Dragonborn also. Finding the ancient texts for our dear leader required you participate in the ritual for his resurrection."

I snorted. My anger heated me up greatly. A ferocity rarely explored.

"As if! You never cared about your son! Only to have his blood in some stupid, atrocious cause so it will please your God, Alduin. Here's news for you friend, Alduin does not give a shit about you or anyone else. He's resurrecting Dragons, what makes you think he will even care if he's resurrected...and why ARE YOU USING YOUR ONLY SON?" I roared.

He brushed me off. Ohhh...you don't want to do that.

"Alduin can continue to do as he wishes. Zoklotinhaar made a pact with Alduin many years ago. The Dragons would have continued to dominate mortal kind had he not stepped into the task and used his formidable skills to convince the nords to worship them, instead of their useless, totems. We are trying to prevent more death, not cause it. By uniting everyone, including those in the war that tears the province apart, we'll be able to find true peace in worship of those of our betters." He claimed.

What kind of stupid idea is that?

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it. I don't care. I am Dragonborn! I am sent to kill the dragons because that is what I was born to do...chosen by the Gods to undertake this task. Surely, you have got to see that." I called out.

Prolg rolled his eyes.

"Such arrogance! We cannot trust the Dragonborn. They betrayed us in the past and are seen as a nuisance. The kingdom would not have fallen, if your forerunner had not decided to screw things up." He shouted with quite the fury attached to it.

I blinked. But I understood.

"Take a look around you...you know this place is filled with nothing but pain and agony because of people who you claimed were heretics. This makes you just as bad, if not worse, than the Thalmor." I taunted. Seriously, who wants to be compared to those supremacist assholes?

"Traitors need to die...simple as that. Either that, or submit their commitments to our masters and they will be rewarded." He called out calmly. He seemed so business like.

His logic...astounding...not.

"So you would rather have people live in fear of their rulers? No one sleeps, dwelling upon if the next day would come or not. Because you know, Alduin the World-Eater? Does that not ring any bells there?" I tried to point out.

He waggled his finger at me. The nerve!

"Again...the traitors wrote those stories. You cannot begin to trust those who have forsaken their hearts and prefer to partaking in violence against their masters and end up disrupting the peace." He continued.

I leered at him with all the spite I could muster.

"So, you prefer to use your own son, who was pretty successful mind you, to his Guild, loyal to his Goddess, loyal to his friends, kept the peace himself and now you're conflicting his mind and using him for the benefit and glory of a dragon, who pretty much disrupting the peace at this very moment. I applaud your infallible philosophy good sir." I said sarcastically.

He shook his head, disappointed.

"You're Dragonborn. Your heart is like those of the dragons but your mind is mortal and therefore you cannot control yourself like the dragons have tamed themselves to know. Hence, why your sacrifice would please Lord Alduin and give his attention back to the people who are loyal to serve him. Brynjolf, call on the Blood Dragon." Prolg ordered, before walking off.

I couldn't contain my anger. Sly bastard. I caught on to his little game, trying to taunt me back. Unable to control myself? No. Give me a reason to do so. I spearheaded forward, only to get struck by Brynholf, knocking me over.

"Bryn! He's mad! We have to stop him!" I cried out to him as I rubbed my neck.

His head fell, the only expression I could see.

"I'm sorry lass...I warned you..." He said with his voice low.

I got up off the ground, eyes wide open and shone like steel.. He could still change this.

"Don't do it Brynjolf, I beg of you. Please..." I pleaded.

He rose his arms and looked up into the sky.

"Kill the Dragon. Then we'll see..." He finished up.

I watched as the Blood Dragon shot up from below and began to circle the temple, roaring around us. Just what in Talo's name was going on here? This...I...why? Hm...I'll try...and I'll try despite my phobia...if Paarthurnax and Hahnubopraan proved that they worth talking to, I might be able to talk my way through this. But my heart was pumping faster and the usual signs were showing up again. But, now...the feeling of it was much weaker. I pulled out my bow. I had to push on.

Thankfully we were heading somewhere now.


	57. Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra prepares to fight and finds out a surprising development.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Petra gets a little too into it.

 

I hadn't imagine it would turn out like this. I wouldn't say I was inspired. The world was against me, it hated me because of my existence. Because I was born to defeat the monsters that plagued this land and in that, those who would fear me because the way I am, simply do not understand the incorrigible terms to that the Gods had chosen me because that's the way it was going to be. This beast before me, a terrifying creature, a representative for fire and time immemorial, behest of the shadows it cast, it's eyes filled with a sharp fury. The phobia, weakened, might still cause an issue, but Petra, you have to fight. Bring out that dragon inside of you.

Time slowed around me as he shouted flames in my direction. I dodged at the last moment, barely singeing the end of my cape. With my Nightingale arrow, I watched it, taking deep breaths as I pulled back and found my aim as the creature flew around me. I let go, watching it as it struck the wing of the beast.

As I fought with skill, caution, I knew that I was absolutely afraid. But, the solution wasn't to force myself to not fear them anymore, but to be able to push through that and use it to help me survive. I was following my own orders and in my mind telling me what to do and how to do it. To listen to the dragon-spirit with me, using the powers of domination against my immortal kin. I saw myself in it and then, it hit me...that they saw themselves in me. Because they saw through my human flesh and found my soul amongst the same streams of time that they were in.

Paarthurnax...Hahnubopraan. Both those dragons...knew what it was like. I will not last long as they, but they can see me for what I am and not just pale meat. I know that now. But, it's like being treated as a half-breed notably. But I am genetically from humanity but spiritual elsewhere. Like who was my mother screwing with? Okay that's just in poor taste just there. I am a terrible person.

But on a serious note, that burning desire within that I mistook for hatred of the world was just something natural. I have very good restraint at times I say, but...I leave myself alone, unknowingly in a meditate state just like Paarthurnax.

Did I fear myself because I am a dragon? The concept, the shape, the personalities and the personal experiences all caught up with the phobia's origins. Because I knew how much pain it caused. And to think, I also, can do the same if I so chose to. But...the power of choice allows me more freedoms than that. To understand the power within from a dragons perspective but have a mortal's input on the matter and to decide the middle ground.

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make sense of all of this and while in my head it's clear, but to explain is hard enough without this dragon gunning for my head. As I fought it, it's just...seeing myself...there and now in combat. Of course my body was shaking but I had to fight that off with a keen and strengthened will, making the call every time I fired an arrow.

I then managed to get him to crawl to the ground. He was a beast, but...he was also...sentient. I tried to negotiate with it, to see what I could discover.

"You fight me because you know what I am. Like the rest of the dovah." I called out, withdrawing my bow and bringing out the Nightingale blade and Chillrend. I approached it slowly, dodging it's bites.

"I thought I was the weak one, but I was wrong. Strength is knowing your limitations. You think yourself strong because you have power and an infinite life span. I see how that makes one arrogant and reckless in battle.

"Lord Alduin demands your death, Dovahkiin. He holds the superior thu'um. I aim to test your thu'um for myself." He called.

I've had those dreams. Dreams where I'd wake up in a cold sweat. Dreams where the fire would take over. Where the fire would scream. Then after Mercer, all my dreams surrounded swords as they stabbed me. I felt no pain, but then I would continue to bleed then stare at the blood on my fingers. Blood tainted by vampirism mixed with dovah. True immortality.

But then something within me snapped.

The world was both colder and warmer, a paradox of epic proportions. I had fire, steel, blood and darkness. These made up the very fabric of my being.

The fire within me burned, running through my veins. I felt...confident...my heart beat was fast...but for first time...I...I was excited. As I looked up, seeing more dragons. I took another deep breath. This...was intense. Was...was this normal? I should be feeling scared, but...I was...just burning, aching for the kill. I inspected the area, at least three more dragons. I saw a path, and I knew...this what was I supposed to know. Instinct. Instinct to guide me. This is me as a dragon, facing my kin in combat. I will...kill them. Consume their souls. They dare face me!

"If Alduin...wants me..." I spoke with a lone tone as I gripped my blades tighter.

"Tell him I am waiting for him..."

I charged at the blood dragon.

" _ **YOL!**_ "

I stunned the beast briefly, jumping up and threw myself forward, double-slicing the dragons neck, shocking him...and myself...but...I wanted more.

I leaned back to avoid a tail being swung at me. I was shaking...but not with fear...but with thrill. This is what I am. I fought like I had done this a thousand times before, swift action after swift action, quick and nubile like a Nightingale Dragonborn should be.

A Frost Dragon popped up and aimed itself towards me...I leaped into the air and ran across it's back, dragging the tips of my swords alongside it's back, causing it agony and forcing it to cry out in pain. Like a song, pleasant to the ears.

I want them to feel what I felt that day at Helgen. I want them to know what it was like, to see fire burning all around them...to see that how their blood is shed, to know that they maybe be immortal, but I hunger for their souls, as their personal reaper.

It was an extraordinary battle indeed. The dichotomy of combat, the invigoration, the nerve, the steel, jump, slice, weave, dodge. This was how being a thief is more about practicality and being Dragonborn is having the strength to fit nicely alongside it. Was there anything else to lose? I had lost my humanity once...but then I wondered, if I'd shoved it aside again, would I still be strong enough? Would I be able to get it back again?

Being a Vampire brought me more capability as a warrior than I was a person. But...I wasn't going to go down that road again. No...this was about the spirits...those who have empowered me and I was wasting that away. Look what I can do now!

* * *

I successfully had killed the blood dragon and relished in taking it's soul, giving more of that sweet essence that I was created to do. I shall put back the meaning of Dragon in Dragonborn! I had never felt more alive in the bloodlust pushing me forward. I had then given all my might in my conquest. A conquest to prove that the dragons themselves have joined the right side. I will kill Alduin...that is my purpose.

I screamed as I shoved my blades deep, smashing their scales and watching the blood pour from the wounds I created. I absorbed the life energy thanks to the Nightingale blades enchantment, just letting it give me more and more as I continued to fight. Something about sucking the life out of them gave me vampiric memories.

I gritted my teeth, impaling the other dragon, then flipping backwards to avoid it's frost breath...

The Dragonself became my greatest weapon as I gave myself to the bloodlust...seeing more dragons on the horizon...my heart pumped more blood...just to let me move more. Good...give me more...this was my war and be damned I was going to let my phobia overtake me again. I have Akatosh...I have Talos...I have Kyraneth...and I have Nocturnal's eyes watching me...helping me...always.

Splashing of dragon blood covered me and steamed off my body. I killed the frost dragon as I ran my blade through it's ugly heart, both of us roaring with the intensity. I felt it's soul enter me, a power so relished that it only made me stronger. My fabric shielded me. It became silent after the last corpse fell and transferred its soul to me, giving way to the hollow howling winds and the hastened rhythm my heartbeat made while pulsing in my ears.

Heh...

Haha...

Hahahaha...

And...I laughed...I  _laughed_...why was it funny?

...

Was I having fun with this?

This was...incredible, astonishing, brilliant...this...I am alive.

It became apparent I was missing an ingredient. There was the noise. It returned as more dragons dropped into the field. Fearless...but stupid.

"I have been singed by the flames, cut with the blades of pure metal, drowned in seas of blood, suffocated by the realms of shadow...and blasted by the screams of the damned..."

This is my true dragon self. And she's had  _enough_.

"You have caused me enough pain.  _All of you_. All for your selfish conquest and your World-Eater. Sounds like he has all the traits of just being plain greedy. You might not consider me among your ranks. But...I am your worst nightmare. I am the flames that burn down homes...but instead of taking innocents, I am your World-Eater. You are all from an age long since past, and Alduin is just the end of an era." I spoke calmly, resisting the urge to grin.

I continued my fight because I could...

I stabbed one underneath his head, piercing Chillrend through it's lower jaw. The feeling was incredible.

" **THIS IS WHAT FEAR IS!** " I shouted and wrenched the blade in further, sticking the Nightingale blade through it as well, causing the dragon to scream in absolute agony.

" **THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE FEEL EVERYDAY...WHAT I HAVE FELT FOR A LONG TIME! NOW I AM THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF!** "

I absorbed his soul rather quickly, a desperate act for a hopeless and cowardly dragon.

* * *

It wasn't long before the temple was covered in nothing but a a few dozen dragon skeletons. Had Alduin, had the Cult...had the Dragons in general been so desperate to eliminate me? I lie, it's actually just a dozen skeletons...twelve souls. Consumed. Because they had such a a hopeless cause behind them that just made them stupid to believe they could defeat me. I was made for them.

I puffed and panted, still gripping on my blades tightly, getting my breath back. I still had lava in the blood, my power strengthened. I wanted more. It was addictive, this domination.

I turned to see Brynjolf standing there. He didn't know what to do. I wanted to smack sense into him.

I withdrew my blades and approached him slowly, wiping my face of steaming dragonblood, the stench more appealing that before. I stared him down with such ferocity.

"You see here. This is nonsense. It's no use staying here with Gods who bleed. But their pride was their downfall. And where is Alduin to save them? Where is he Bryn?" I said, daring him to answer. My words reflected like the souls within, echoing from a single tongue.

He looked down, still uncertain. But my anger had become this tranquil power. I was the voice of the gods in a vulnerable world.

"Lass...look..." He muttered. No. He will not dare.

I shook my head and grabbed the mask off his head. I wanted to see his face.

It was like that night near the border. His face twisted, eyes glowing blue.

"Don't you lass me! Have you not learned anything? I have destroyed them as they have destroyed me! My life! They have destroyed you and you are...just not seeing that. You can fight fate Bryn. You have choice, like me.." I chastised. I didn't care if both of them could hear me. They needed such criticism cut to the bone.

He appeared terrified of me. I felt pity...but I couldn't access my sorrow as my hatred swallowed me whole.

"No...I don't. Nothing would bring me more joy...to be with you again. But...I just can't..." He said sadly.

I rolled my eyes and picked him up by his collar, bashing him against a half-broken pillar behind him and put my face so close to his our noses' nearly touched. I squinted at him. He almost fell to pieces then and there. He was lighter.

"Then you are  _not_  the Brynjolf I know." I muttered, furious.

His face was deeply saddened, wrenched by a mess not of his doing but a mess I will clean up nonetheless.

"I know that...Petra, I never wanted to bring harm to you. But...if this...I want to delay this as much as I can. The Gods have you on the noble path. For me, I'm only destined for death and destruction...and I won't be me much longer." He continued. A fight he had to win for his sake.

I slapped him. It was like listening to me... the old weak me. Now I realize how dumb it sounds.

" _Don't you say that_...don't you ever say that..." I scolded, letting more tears down my face. I couldn't tell if it was the aforementioned sadness or my balanced rage.

"I will kill each and every one of those cultists...and I will kill your father. If you can call him that."

He gulped. I believed that Bryn knew that getting rid of Prolg was inevitable.

"Even if I went back, what's to say I won't relapse...I'm not as strong as you lass...you're better off killing me now. Shor knows that's the only way to stop this. So then you will be free to kill Alduin. Just promise me that you'll still be you." He pleaded.

What?

"Your...display...that was not you out there. This is not you here. I want to know you as Petra the Professional Thief... Not Petra the Dragonbutcher."

I gritted my teeth. What does he know? My pain, my fear, my heart is my strength. I will slaughter as many as I need to, as long as they bring in the turmoil, I will forever be the mirror, reflecting it right back at them.

"I want you as Brynjolf the gentleman. Brynjolf the Stubborn Nord who never gave up me. I want the man who kissed me, who felt me. I have done the impossible before and I will do so again. You just gotta let me try...let it be known that I am just Petra, the woman who will not give up on you..." I called out. It was truth. Hard truth. She's breaking through though. The me I cannot condemn. The me I cannot verify and vouch for. The me that once once had given up but with the sliver of hope always rose up again.

Then the it happened..

I...saw him cry.

I never saw him crying so hard.

I dropped him down, feeling the anguish within him. I...couldn't be angry with him. Only relatively annoyed he would just...throw his life away like that because he didn't know what was happening to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder. Maybe he was right.

"Please...Bryn...let me...let me... _try_." I muttered, trying to get him to look at me.

There was a sudden shift in aura's as Bryn stopped crying. His eyes burned black and were furious with me. I didn't see his fist fast enough to avoid it, punching me across the ground. Shit...I knew something wasn't right.

He grabbed his mask and placed it back on himself. That wasn't Brynjolf. Gods damn it this is what I get for letting my guard down. I wiped the blood from my nose and forced myself off the ground and growled. It was the darkened priest.

"Get out of him now, you son of a bitch!" I shouted.

He stood up, relatively calm in stature and form. Which pissed me off greatly.

"Brynjolf has been a good servant and has done what was required of him. Only your sacrifice remains Dragonborn and I will be up to full strength again." He told me, the thousand voices speaking at once again.

I started to shake with anger. I want...I want to kill...I want to dominate. Petra don't...you care...you love him. don't treat him like this, please...

"Because he never wanted any part of this! He wasn't sure what to do because his asshole of a father used him. So what if my predecessor killed you. I am not that person. I am my own. I know all about the lineage...I know about how you fell in love with Nocturnal and Alduin not paying attention to you anymore...I'm kind of glad they did kill you. I owe them my thanks. Your moment caused a fracture in the ancient society and the catalyst to your cults downfall." I pointed out.

He was...just still. It was an eery sensation.

"I will not be ignored. I hate being ignored. I despise ignorance. I despise heretics and abominations such as yourself who dare to be called Dovah. I will bring this world to it's knees and make them see. It's a terrible world filled with betrayal. To unite Skyrim and Tamriel. We will gain peace." He called out in his arrogance.

Great not this bullshit again.

"Then you're being hypocritical of absolutely of everything. You want peace with tyranny. I'm sorry Zoklot, it doesn't work that w-" I pointed out, until he cast shock magic in my direction, as Nocturnal protected me by allowing me to dodge at the right time.

"Only Paarthurnax is worthy of calling me Zoklot...valdrek." He said.

I smirked. I felt only the need to torment this monster. My heart, it still beats so quickly, my breath can barely catch up.

"Haha...funny you should mention Paarthurnax. He no longer works for Alduin. You want to know why? Because his own brother abandoned him. He aided mortals in the past to defeat him." I boasted.

Zoklot held the pose for disbelief.

"Paarthurnax would do no such thing. This world is cruel. But we will find a way." He acknowledged.

I rested my hand on my hip. I had to agree with them on the latter. That much was certain.

"You don't have to tell me twice. Paarthurnax is a good dragon. A rarity these days. Shown me that Dragons can be reasonable. Alduin is simply not. If you opened your eyes for just one second, you'll see..." I said.

He lowered his head. Shame. It was shame I could see.

"You became a Nightingale. You fell in love with a Daedric Prince who wouldn't love you back. You were angry. You found Alduin and pledged your soul to him and you swore to enslave the cruelty of mankind because you were unloved. You wanted people to love you because Nocturnal couldn't. But you ruled through fear and torment. You got the respect of the dragons but never of your own kind...never from Nocturnal. You are still an agent maybe? But your spirit couldn't rest properly in the Evergloam. When Brynjolf became a Nightingale that was your chance...you could have possessed him there but not until I had placed the Key back in the Sepulcher, to allow the Ebonmere to flow once more and your spirit released." I assumed, judging from everything I had seen so far.

"Nocturnal didn't want anything to do with me. I put up shrines of her...like the one you see over there. Because I wanted to see her again and let worship of her spread around. But I wanted more a balanced power. When Alduin decided to rule the nord people I was inclined to agree. Because at least then I could get what I wanted. And I did." He replied.

"For a while..." I continued.

I could feel him glaring at me.

"I was getting it all sorted, until that...traitor decided to attack us. He was the hokzii in our eyes. And murdered me. Have you ever felt betrayed?" He asked out of the blue.

"Yes." I replied bluntly for obvious reasons. I put my hand against my heart, trying to will it to calm down.

"Then you know what it's like. Trust is hard to come by. And I simply do not trust you. And Alduin himself does not..." He said with more truth.

I rolled my eyes. I believe what he says, but perhaps...

"Have you ever stopped the think why we are here? Because you go too far. Your Gods...especially Alduin have abused their positions and because of what they are, they are forced to create us to punish you all. Akatosh sees this ahead of time because He can. Just...get it in your head. You'll be much more relaxed..." I advised, although it would take a lot to get it into his thick skull.

He pulled out Bryn's dwemer sword and inspected it.

"You weren't there when the dwarves were still alive. They empowered this sword and it came back all the way down as the Cult intended..."

I watched him whack it against the pillar, shattering it in an unholy light, revealing a unique blade, made of an dwemer metal base and ebony blade with dragons and ravens embedded into it.

"They call this Rahkes. I want you to fight me. See who's will is stronger and who the gods favour more."

Good. I was hungry for more.

"Fine..." I said, keeping myself calm.

"I'm okay with that..."

Suddenly the dragon skeletons disappeared. When I turned to Zoklot, who just had the body language suggesting this wasn't what he had planned either. But...

I watched on as large violet portals surrounded the temple, with several people popping out of them. I recognized some of them wearing black clothing and some of them wearing brown clothing...no...couldn't be.

"Heya Petra!" Said Delvin, smiling and waiving at me.

All around the temple were members of the Thieves Guild, and Delphine? What in Gods name...

"Your little Khajiit friend insisted we come help you. Didn't think she had a friend who would bring us here that quickly though." Vex stated.

Ayisha...

She stood there alongside Karliah and Nemetona...I...I couldn't fail her. No..no. I wouldn't want her to see her own son like this. I had to make sure he gets out of this alive. Why was my weak self forcing me to feel this?

I clenched my fist tight...gaining back that determination with will alone. But they didn't need to be here at all. What in Oblivion was going on? I had my own little cheer squad all of a sudden? Okay then...

I wandered over to the other side of the temple, like the whole floor was the battle ground. The clouds got darker, the air colder. But it mostly was more intense. But my heart refused to stop beating so quickly. I still breathed heavily, as a shiver went down my spine.

We stood on each end. I had a blade in each hand, ready to strike once more.

"Wait, that's Brynjolf? Wow...that's pretty badass." Sapphire commented, talking with the other members of the Guild.

"Hey...we were told to cheer for Petra...you know what the Guildmaster said..." Thrynn noted.

These...ragtag misfits...here. No way Ayisha brought them all here. Unless there was something she wasn't telling me... they were...important to me. I may not say I care, but, they have been family to me. Despite all the pranks...and jokes...they...believed in me.

But that didn't matter now. It was between me and Zoklotinaar now as I unsheathed my blades once more as we stood on opposite ends, staring each other down.

Thankfully I had a plan in mind.


	58. Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra struggles to fight against the Dragon Priest, but finds words are more powerful than her blades

 

Who would have thought it would come to this? Never in my whole life would I have seen myself standing here in such an unorthodox situation. Fighting this Dragon Priest, taking hold of of the man I care about. Damn right I am pissed off about it.

I felt the strands of the dragon souls I absorbed run through my veins as mystical energies that empowered my own spirit. I have taken down mindless soldiers of this ungodly war, to take down the creature who dares to consume it, destroy it in his childish haste.

But this life as Dragonborn, was much more heroic than my stance as a professional thief, with larceny just coming naturally to me, like I never had a rebellious childhood, filled with restraint and amazing self-control. It's odd to say that I felt protected by the Guild all this time, and partaking in the realms of Aedra and Daedra is so far off the spectrum I wanted to be in, that you can say being Dragonborn is just how it is that it just comes to you because you are supposed to be there and not amongst the roles of the ordinary just trying to make a living.

I feel somewhere in the middle of all the magic above me and the mundane below me. Magic has always been the most curious of the mages that study it, finding the source of the power and finding ways to manipulate magicka in ways you can never imagine. Mother's father was once a mage from Winterhold. I used to like watching him do his tricks, much to the dismay of mother herself, who did not want to him to show me any of the sort. I guess because of what's happened of the eras. I once spoke with one of the Apprentices at the College about this topic, he stated that wars and events like the Oblivion Crisis have not helped the stigma of just using it general almost taboo. I don't blame them, but it tends to gauge on those with noble hearts who just want to study it for the good of the world.

To me, while father taught me in the ways of the sword and bow, magic was just one of those topics that you would always be mysterious. Because you don't know what's going to happen but it takes a lot of dedication to cast even the simplest spells. My time as a Vampire allowed me to explore that because it came to me easier than when I was human, that I once I studied it, it made sense. Perhaps though, that people want to become immortal because it not allows them to live forever, but the structure of their mind changes. You have time to study and absorb information a lot easier. Immortality that has a price when not attained properly, so people attune themselves to become a God, to gain that omniscience, to know everything.

I only want to know if it's relevant. I'd lost my touch with mortal kind and felt outside the pool of inclusion. Its the way that the magicka flows through you, creating an abnormal energy you're used to feeling. You look at your hands and know they're yours but they could do so much more than the could before. But in your heart you can't help feel that such the dramatic change that, was it worth it to feel like you've been to Aetherius and you never really came back.

Maybe that feeling was why some vampires longed to return to living. They never really felt like they belonged and that being alive was something they had taken for granted. The power for the price of your humanity. Brynjolf was willing to accept, but to what extent was I Petra when I sucked the blood out of the dragon in Morthal? Where was I? I had succumbed to temptation that the power brought.

It was either that or the dragon slayer with the grin that was written with darkness all over now that you were the wielder of extra gifts, more than the Gods intended, perhaps it was the feeling of blasphemy. Though, I had gone and made my pact with Nocturnal prior, she ceased to care when she made the topic apparent. Do Gods make judgement on that sort of thing? Do they know that one day you might turn your back on them? It's a great mystery. This stuff either happens or you may still be in their good books...who knows?

But the fascinating fact was Brynjolf was...well, by blood related to Tiber Septim and Zoklotinhaar. Funny how events turn out, that his very descendant was Dragonborn. Found it even more funny that Bryn had Dunmer ancestry. Who would have thought. But...he himself...not really connected in anyway and I can see why he would have wanted to keep his distance from it all and that becoming a Nightingale, in his mind, would have severed the ties between himself and his fathers zealous worship of Talos, who was once a Nightingale himself, according to Bryns mother.

* * *

Standing here in the chills of the winds from the sea, from Atmora, our ancestral land, it was hard to imagine it would even get this far, so deep into what we are and what we had become. He brandished his raven wings from his back. I see what was going on. It clicked between us as we began our charge towards each other, swinging and clashing our blades in a speedy pace and were showered with sparks, we swirled, spun, dodged, weaved to our flanks, hoping to find weakness and strike. I didn't want to hurt Brynjolf and I dreaded that. I had to admit Zoklot was fast and I had trouble keeping up with him.

He threw his sword forward, where I crossed my blades to block him, and I could feel his ethereal eyes staring at me. He was overpowering...what was going on? I can take down several dragons but suddenly something not even half the size was proving difficult.

"Quit holding back." He scolded.

Holding back...wait...

"Your heart sees me as Brynjolf. Displace that and fight me!"

I summoned strength from my depths, pushing the priest back, barely fazing him. I grunted and panted, my soul continuing to burn with anger...and reluctance.

By...Nocturnal he was right. I knew Bryn was in there and...I can't bear to hurt him. But there had to be a way to fight back somehow.

"You have convinced me that you are Dovahkiin, as the others have taken to calling you...you took down those dovah like your predecessor did long ago. You are all the same abominations."

I started shaking with rage as I spat.

"Akatosh created us like he created your masters" I spoke with calm fury.

"We were meant to punish the dragons for their treachery!"

No message was getting through though.

"Enough! What good is a Dovahkiin, if they are unable to soar like the dovah themselves?" He mocked.

He flapped his wings, shooting up into the sky, holding himself well up there.

I hope he didn't expect me to waste arrows on him. I'm not that stupid.

"Pffff! Foolish. You still underestimate me Priest!" I taunted back.

Zoklot readied himself.

"Very well, Vostahdim." He said. "Prove it!"

I took a deep breath...this had better be worth it.

" **Bo! Vond Uft!** "

The vortex of dragon energies covered me with the magical limbs that have accompanied me before. I flapped the wings and flew myself to Zoklot's level.

_Be still, my heart._

"So...you use the wings of a dov now? Interesting." Zoklot commented.

I heard the others chatting below me. My anxiety grew higher.

"Sweet Mara on Sundas...she's flying...and glowin'?" Delvin commented with awe.

Those souls I have within called out for vengeance. Their spirits, in my command. I had proven my thu'um superior. At least their pride allows them to admit defeat.

Zoklot's just being in denial about it all.

And into the fray we went, trying to hit each other from all angles. I didn't want to hold back as I held seething hatred for the priest...but the soul left abandoned inside, the one I so desperately wanted to save...I couldn't stand it.

Get control of yourself Brynjolf...please.

Our battles coincinded with the a storm brewing around us in the sky, as rain poured from above. Lightning struck as we got higher, almost being blinded by the sheer amount of water around us. It got much colder, but the sheer ferocity of our battle, the flames of our passioned hearts, fighting with determination for our causes that we neglected all of it.

I was Dovah alright...the skies were more...for us. We, in Kyraneth's realm. I dove downwards, hoping to get him from behind, but he was just too quick for me. Come on Petra, you need to be faster.

"You still think Brynjolf is inside of me? You love the man more than your hatred for me? It's what makes you weak. You'll always be weak." He shouted.

I gritted my teeth. His noted experiences had made him quite bitter, it seems.

"Don't blame my concern for my love for Bryn. Worry more, about your own failures..." I called out.

_**(Blinded by Failure)** _

"You...you who could not have the woman he loved...he who, was abandoned by his God...no...Nocturnal is a mystery to us all...will always be a mystery. She's a Daedric Prince. She cannot be touched, harmed or convinced. She, like Alduin, are those from the dawn of the realms of true mental and physical immortality. Alduin...abandoned everyone on his conquest, his thirst for power. He wanted to dominate Tamriel..."

In Zoklot's pissed off state, he tried to swing his sword sideways, like, wanting to cut me in half. I back-flipped and crossed my blades again in defense.

"Enough...what was such a world controlled by a God, if it was not one of peace? A true unification and harmony...why must you not see that?" He called out to me...his tone, desperately clinging to his rock hard beliefs. But even then...rocks can be broken.

"Because Alduin doesn't give a shit about us mortals. His role is end the world, not save it!" I roared. "Seriously, just open your eyes!"

But his stance was still in denial.

He continued to try and attack me...I either blocked, dived or dodged with every swipe. He was the one in the truest of anger. I was making him crack. Good. One of his attacks, I had countered somewhat, slicing a feather off his raven wings, but it was a sign that his own spirit was failing him.

"Paarthurnax...himself had seen the error of his ways..." I told him, as I stared down at him...

I felt the warmth of the sun behind me, casting my own shadow on Zoklot as Kyne made her presence known. Good to have her at my back. Literally.

"The Dragons lost the war for a reason. For men and women, learning to use the thu'um because Kyne herself allowed them to. Because she knew it was a losing battle for those who could not defend themselves. But she allowed the worthy, the dedicated and the self-sacrificing mortals to gain this gift to let the Dragons know that mortals are the most hard-working people. Because they know they don't live forever, but be damned if they didn't well try."

He floated there, contemplating my words. He held his head in pain. That had to be Brynjolf...fight! Fight! Fight!

"You are mortal yourself...that is true. You don't want to die. No one wants to die. So mortals cling on to power, the illusion that they're infallible. But it does not mean they're immortal. They just live longer than most people..."

He lifted his head to stare at me. Get in there Bryn...you can do it.

"Explain the Draugr...explain my brethren...the Gods would never make us fall like that, or else it'd be pointless to serve them in death." He called out.

I face palmed. I took out Krosis' mask as an example and showed it to him.

"We made quick work of your brother. And Draugr that you have seen. That is not true immortality. That is undeath. That...is different. You are nothing but a monster. You have control over them but they have lost themselves to a curse that no longer sits with everyone else...they can never have their lives back. Neither did Krosis...neither did anyone else sitting in side with you. You died before the curse was put on you and your brothers. The Dragons rewarded your services by getting rid of your souls. Yours just happened to linger elsewhere...because it was tied to somewhere else."

He grumbled.

"We made them live forever! That's what they wanted!" He cried out.

I sighed and put the mask away.

"The difference between your Gods and our Gods of this era, is that we dictated them to each of their corresponding roles. Arkay, for example, the God of Life and Death, is meant to ensure that the dead stay that way. Alduin resurrects dead dragons. To him, that's considered heretical. Necromancy is mostly taboo, not banned but frowned upon. But...Alduin has this ability via his father Akatosh...my spirit father. So you can say it's not...but only to Dragon kind. Perhaps...and this is just me taking an uneducated guess, is that one day, maybe these dragons will actually see the damage they've caused. Like Paathurnax, they could be redeemed. But, I have proven...my own existence has proven that to be false. I am here to fix up a mistake. I am not mad at Akatosh, because we all make mistakes. I'll clean up his mess. But for the Draugr...they made their conscious choice by siding with the tyranny when they had the chance to run away." I pointed out.

Zoklot tightened his grip on his sword.

"Does not make mortal kind just as bad as the dov? There are those who need taming and they run wild, killing left and right and violating the laws we made to protect them. It is...hypocritical." He said.

I sighed. There is a better way to word it, I'm sure. I believed now that there are reasons for everything. That in my position I can clearly see the huge differences between mortals and immortals besides the aging part.

I heard another set of wings, heavy, like those of a dragon. I could see a familiar grey figure heading in our direction.

"Zoklotinhaar, the dov have had plenty of time to think about their choices. By dying temporarily, their spirits linger on, wondering what went wrong. Some don't bother to think, but...joor sonah dreh ni lost mahfaeraak. (Mortal kind doesn't have forever). However, they have freedom and flexibility to change their minds because death is the worst punishment for them...and not the dov. Because we know in hindsight, that we are cast out, then cast back in again in time...unabided."

_Paarthurnax..._

Zoklotinhaar looked at the aged dragon...I sensed the sorrow and disbelief in his heart.

"Old friend. Why do you side with them? Did the Vostahdim not tell you that they're nothing but trouble for us! Horrific half-breeds!" He sneered.

"Because Kyne had sent me a message. And Alduin himself, I had found him...at Skuldafn, going to Sovngarde to consume more souls. I held a tinvaak with him about his plans and told him about the Vostahdim. He told me, that to tell the others that he was their God and will punish the nords for their heresy and those who side with him will be rewarded. Look at the Draugr and the Dov Priests...they're nothing but liivor nass, rotting corpses with no sign of their former selves...only the dedication and declaration of honour to their false God."

He held his again, moaning in pain...Bryn...

"But...he is a God! He can never truly die...after all, the Vostahdim, after his boasting, never killed him...did he? Because he was scared of his power!" Zoklot boasted, albeit weakly.

It made it seem like Zoklot was more afraid of death than anything else.

"Niid, Zoklot...Akatosh made us. He was always our Borhamu...our father. I knew Alduin's claims were always false. Then... it made me see that what were doing was wrong. I had made the terrible decision against my fathers true will. Daar lost ni un saad heyv (This wasn't our real duty) The Vostahdim was a result of our sway from our role. I heeded the call of Kyne, who taught me how to make amends." Paarthurnax continued.

I looked at the Priest, I could almost hear his heart twisting within him, wrenching. I almost, pitied him.

"There is time for you...I would give you that time, except that time is not yours. A man was born with that flesh and he was raised in that flesh. That is his time you are wasting..." I said outright.

My eyes hurt...and my throat ached, vision blurring and nostrils moist.

"That man you have forced to subdue...wanted none of this. You want domination...and your false Gods at your back. Look around you. This is the fourth era. Times change...people change. Not everyone will gladly lay down the weapons to worship like they used to. They know the truth...all of them. Nothing but a bed time story for the children. They will pray to the real divines, and while some may tread in fear on the sight of a dragon, others will take arms in the defence despite the fact they will die. But they died for what they believed in. They died so that others may live. That is the true meaning of mortality...is that we know our sacrifices have to mean something in order for our lives to have purpose.. and that in the short time we exist...that we make the memory of our loved ones remain with us forever."

Brynjolf you better be fighting in there.

"You...would die for him? A lowly thief? For something as temporary and impeding as love?" He asked me.

I nodded. He must have given up entirely, knowing that his choice cost him dearly.

"You would have done the same for Nocturnal if given the chance. You made your oath long ago. A contract from a Daedra is more...permanent than a dragons, that is made up of false promises. Your spirit...was it not with the Evergloam this entire time?" I asked, given the knowledge Karliah had given me. She would be proud.

"No...no it wasn't...the Cult of Slaughter...they took me from the Evergloam, told me the Dragons were returning and the age of unity was at hand. They smuggled me out of there. I didn't want to leave...I was still in the terms of agreement with her when they took me out. When the time came, they revealed that my Concubines survived the war and kept on eye on the lineages, going from Cult leader to Cult leader over time...and time in the Soul Cairn is often...twisted. They'd made some sort of deal with the Ideal Masters that they would sacrifice more souls for them to get me out of there in the future. And now...here we are. Stuck in the body of my descendant." He answered.

Paarthurnax looked at him sadly.

"Praz do nahlrii vozahlaas (The price of being immortal)" The elder dragon commented.

Figures the Cult would go so low as to finally get what they wanted in the end. No matter...I will do what had to be done.

"Perhaps I shall send you back myself. Don't know if Nocturnal would welcome you back with open arms. But, your soul is already hers. She would be most pleased if you ended up protecting it again..fulfill the terms of your agreement and you'll find release." I offered him. Don't actually know if she'll do that though. She's awfully ambiguous when she wants to be.

"I...I...I don't know..." He said.

_He sounds like me..._

I flew towards him, sheathing my blades. It was obvious I had broken his mind. It would do the same to me, well, my mind had been broken before. But it can be repaired that's for certain. We just need to reconstruct his perspective. My heart had calmed down considerably.

"You know who you should serve. The one that makes you happy...not the one who causes you doubt." I told him, knowing who I should trust myself with.

"What if you're wrong?" He asked me, his fingers still wrapped around the handle of his blade.

"If I'm wrong? Hm...you can only try..." I admitted. Yeah...he saw through that as he looked at me.

"And you're doing this...you want me out because of the thief?" He questioned.

Of course.

"Yes...your actions make we want to cast you back to a more fitting realm for you. However, we all gotta go do what we hate." I said as my father would.

He looked down.

"You're...you're right. I'm afraid to die. Didn't want to know what became of me beyond death because I had hatred towards Nocturnal. You would have seen her. She's beautiful. I fell in love with her when I first saw her that I once guarded the Sepulcher with pride, hoping she would notice my dedication. But over time, I saw less and less of her, before finally trying to make contact with her. I went...mad without seeing her. I'd lost my direction in life. I had met with Alduin one day and witnessed his power for myself, turning the sky a different colour and giant rocks of fire falling like heavy rain. He had massacred a town of nords. I was more in awe than in fear of him, knowing he was a God who took action. I assumed that they had not been worthy in his eyes. So I offered my services as a sneak to him, offering to take down traitors to his cause. He took me in...but...I couldn't stop thinking about her. I rose through the ranks because of my skills and I relished in it..."

He explained. So I was right in my theory.

Paarthurnax agreed.

"Yes...and he assigned me to you to make sure you were doing your role properly and to protect you. He called you his favoured child because you were willing to do what ever he wanted. Your heart...still burdened with the mortal expression of lokal (love)."

I froze...wait...yes...this did sound familiar and it gave me weird feelings. I shook it off and looked at the soul before me.

"Come with us then. We'll make sure you get home..." I offered.

* * *

We flew back down to the surface, where everyone had waited for us. Zoklot was hesitant at first, but then I believe he had begun to see reason. Then I saw Ayisha crying as we descended. Paarthurnax joined us soon after, actually freaking everyone out.

"Relax, relax...he's on our side..." I called out to them.

I'm pretty sure some of them needed to change their pants.

"Why aren't I surprised Petra's got herself a Dragon pet?" Said Vex with exhaustion in her tone.

The old dragon looked at the woman.

"Be careful, tafiir, I might make you my pet..." Paarthurnax joked. I never knew he did.

Delvin brought out his dagger.

"Hey, don't start something with her, Dragon..." He called out angrily.

"Relax Delv, he's just being sarcastic." Vex assured.

Zoklotinhaar looked a bit more...relaxed but still rather conflicted within himself. It must have been hard, to work all this way and turn back. I couldn't imagine the turmoil he had.

Ayisha ran towards me and hugged my leg. I patted her head and smiled. Always good and heartwarming to see her.

"It's up to the strong to protect the weak...but it's also the strong protecting the strong as well. Because we cover each others' flaws. By doing so, as a team, we're nearly unstoppable." I told him. I'm surprised I was even saying that.

"I still don't know, be wary of that. I am in the middle of taking thoughts in and finding out why. Alduin is back...and you say you're here to defeat him. Another abomination in the end of an age. And you claim the world would be against me this time...I do not trust you...but I'm willing to trust Paarthurnax." He said.

I don't blame him, honestly.

"I don't mind where you are, as long as you're out of his body and no longer terrorizing mortal kind like that..." I said.

I was getting the sense of relief that he was finally wrapping his head around it.

"Take me to the Sepulcher then." He said." Perhaps we can..."

"Well well well..."

We turned to see Prolg standing there with his arms crossed. I almost forgot he was here. He stood in front of us, then patted Ayisha's head aggressively.

"Should have known my own son would hold you back...you disappointment me and our masters Zoklotinhaar." He commented within the mount of his own smugness.

"The Cult forced me into this against my own will. I only wish to serve Nocturnal." Zoklot said proudly. His tone was more positive and fresh.

"And using your own son? Despicable. Unlike you I know the importance of family and strength..."

I smiled. Even Dragon Priests have standards.

Prolg rolled his eyes.

"You're all a bunch of morons relying on sentimental nonsense rather that the truth. Very well, might as well take matters in my own hands..."

In a motion that was too quick for us to see, he'd grabbed Ayisha, causing my heart to jump and pulled the Ring of Khajiiti off her finger and pushed her aside, I ran to her aid and helped her up, I watched as the bald man disappeared into the shadows, as he chuckled and put the ring on himself. I kept on guard, as my eyes wandered around, then noticed Zoklotinhaar's blade had gone missing.

My heart skipped as well. Why would...

_No..._

"Mama...that sword...it..."

**NO!**

I ran towards Zoklotinhaar as Prolg reappeared, running towards the Priest with Rahkes, his special dwemer blade. I pushed him out of the way, earning the blade into my gut.

This tends to happen to me a lot doesn't it? This time was different. I was...this was a nice piece of irony happening right here...yeah..hehe...not much I could do...I was frozen in place. But...I wanted no regrets...and for them to live on. I'm glad I made Zoklot see. I'm...happy...

I'm happy...

but why am I sad?

I saw shadows dancing around but the noise disappeared. Noise was the key ingredient after all. But next was the fire..then the steel.

Only the blood on my fingers remained.

"Mama!" I heard Ayisha, her call through the abyss.

"Stupid Thief!...no matter, your soul would bode well there. You have seven seconds to say your prayers before your soul is confined to the Soul Cairn."

I couldn't move, only my head. I turned to Zoklotinaar, wanting to thank him for changing his mind as I smiled weakly...and if Brynjolf was there...

"Brynjolf I lov-"


	59. Blinded by Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf reawakens to the worst news he could ever hear.

 

I was in a terrible nightmare...of fire, blood and screaming. So much fire...then...it went cold. Dark...the shadows around us in burning violet flames.

As a young lad I saw things in my dreams that I never thought possible. There was the absurd contradictions that were always there...like walking on walls, for some reason, being emperor. Those sorts of nonsensical products brought up by Shor knows what. Mother used to tell me that Dreams are affected by what's around you. Even the subtlest detail is influenced by the smallest sights that you never think twice about. Perhaps you went to a town and passed a statue, read a book that mentioned something just once and it dives into your subconscious and stays there.

When I grew older, darkness and the unknown paraded my mind and I often believed I wasn't dreaming at all. It's here there perhaps, that what has happened was something telling me what was going to happen, right here and right now. One night as I slept, the image of a young girl in a blue dress that visited me, who was blind.

A young girl with short brown hair and an adoring smile gave me a purple flower and prompted me to chase her around a tall forest filled with torchbugs and eyes that watched us. But the eyes, they weren't there to hurt me, but they guided me, watched over me. As strange as it sounds...sometimes the creeks nearby flowed with the clearest waters, then the next moment be filled with silver substance.

I visited the same forest...after blacking out. I looked around, trying to find where I was. I hadn't been here since I was a boy.

The girl reappeared, frowning with her purple flower dying in my hands. She ran away from me, scared. I hadn't done anything.

I chased after her, after seeing I was alone in the darkness and wanted her to keep me company.

But as I ran, the forest got thicker and thicker and it got angry with me. I had walked off the given path and was in the middle of nowhere for what felt like hours.

I came across the young Khajiit...Ayisha...

She was sitting on a stump, leaning over with her hands in prayer and eyes closed. The trees turned to silver like the waters of the creek as the torchbugs flew around me. Her words in her mother tongue, wearing an interesting black get up. She stopped her muttering.

"Ayisha knows you are lost in the forest. The forest keeps papa until he knows where he is supposed to go." She spoke.

I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but I honestly had no sense of direction.

"Little girl in blue dress? You search for her? She no longer belongs on this realm." She continued.

"How...do you know.." I stuttered.

"Papa scared her. But Papa did not kill the flower that you once held. Papa believes he has killed the flower, but he did not. The torchbugs do not avoid you. Torchbugs hover around you..." She continued.

I must admit I wasn't sure. My mind was elsewhere and couldn't focus. I had to know where I was meant to be in order for myself to be free.

Her eyes opened, showing off a silvery glow.

" _Sos los yol ahrk vokun. Sil los kast ahrk naalein. Hil los varn ahrk sonah. Bormah los bormah. Ni Dovahkiin. Nuz kiin do Talos. Kiin nol joor muz. Aak naal gluus ahrk vulom. Kul ahrk bormah los sizaan. Ruz ruund. Nuz lost sizaan. Ahrk praag wah siiv. Siiv vozahlaas zii. Geblaan kurlah._ "

("Blood is fire and shadow. Soul is stuck and alone. Heart is warm and kind. Father is father. Not Dragonborn. But born of Talos. Born from mortal men. Guide by luck and darkness. Son and father is lost. Then found. But has lost. And need to find. Find immortal spirit. Complete the journey.")

 _Find...the immortal spirit_...wait...

A light started to blind me as I was being dragged away, I reached out to Ayisha...not wanting to leave before I had the need for answers.

* * *

I woke up with the biggest headache. Once my vision returned, I could see a lass with long red hair like mine, an aged face that struck me as familiar... my heart started beating quickly. No...it couldn't be. This was impossible.

"M-mother?" I said weakly.

She smiled and nodded. Was...was I dead?

"Where...where are we?"

She cradled my head in her lap. I could see her crying as she pecked me on the forehead. I had to be dead for sure.

"It's good to see you back dear. I should have told you about this a long time ago..." She said.

Unbelievable. Petra was telling the truth. I wanted to know more but...

"No...it's...it's okay. I know father was a monster. You had to get away from him. I wish could have gone with you." I admitted, in my haze,

She pursed her lips. It was clear she had much to say. Indeed she did. I wanted to know the whole story when there was more time. If it wasn't dead, I still had to be dreaming.

"Nocturnal didn't want me to..." She said with sadness.

My entire body ached, muscles churning and I was so tired. I don't think I was dead just yet. And I still wanted to know what Ayisha meant...

"What's going on?" I wondered. I had to know the here and now. Bits and pieces were scattered in my memories that I couldn't puzzle back together.

She lowered her head...her eyes gave words without voice to her sorrow.

"What's the matter?"

She wiped a tear from her cheek. Anxiety burned my throat. Something's happened. Something horrible I'm certain.

"Bryn...it's..." She muttered.

She looked to her right. I sat up and composed myself and turned to where she was looking. There was a crowd of people surrounding something, their gear...members of the Guild...Delphine...and a Dragon? What in Shor's name? All I could remember was...I don't know...I don't remember anything! But I heard whispers among them and...I could hear Ayisha...

"Mama! Mama wake up!"

My heart fell.

_Petra..._

No...it can't...

I got up, despite being in agony and ran towards it, running towards the crowds and pushing them aside, desperate to get through. I came across Petra, lying on the ground before me, lifeless, in Karliah's arms and being examined by the Dragon. No, no...she can't be dead. This...this wasn't happening. That damn pit in my stomach was churning again. I looked at the others, tears on their faces as well. Vex made subtle sobs into Delvin's shoulder and held her for a bit, very much out of character for her, she must..Petra must have had made quite the impact for her to even weep, and Vex is a very strong woman...same with Sapphire and Vipir. The others, didn't know what to do with themselves. It goes to show how Petra affected the Guild and how she never...got to see that. They all normally keep to themselves, but conversations in the cistern often spoke of Petra's successes and how she made them all rich. But...those eyes. I know those eyes. They weren't thinking they had lost one of the best in the business. Some were riddled with guilt and honest sadness...the only honesty that any of them ever had. And Delphine stood afar, not even knowing what she should do.

"Mama!" Ayisha cried out again, her voice cracked and loud. She must have been weeping for a while.

No...this...this...the memories started coming back. No...father...the dream...

This was my fault. Why...no..Petra...I'm so so sorry. I never meant...I never meant to hurt you. Gods dammit Brynjolf you're such a fool!

I went on my knees and sat beside her. I looked at Karliah briefly who had blood on her armor and hands. She must have tried to save her, but...

I could see a blade nearby and flashing back to an old memory several years ago...

I recall my father, giving me a dwemer sword, like the one's you find in the ruins. Only that, it had a special enchantment the dwemer had made for it, however, it could only be activated at certain times. But father told me that I would never be able to activate in any case, since it will only turn on special circumstances...but he insisted that it would..'send souls away' regardless.

Now I know what he meant. You wretched bastard!

"I tried Bryn...I really did. But your father disappeared right after and we couldn't track him down." Karliah spoke with a soft tone.

The blade was enchanted with a soul trap option, meaning...

It wasn't me was it?

(" _No...it was your father..."_ )

What? I'm looking around but I can't see who's talking to me.

(" _It's me...Zoklotinhaar, you know, your infamous ancestor. I've secluded myself in the back of your mind to allow you take lead. Prolg had taken Rahkes off me, after he'd stolen the Ring of Khajiti from the little kaaz and the Dovahkiin shoved us out of the way to save us. Prolg wanted my soul...but settled for the Dovahkiins by accident."_ )

No...this is my fault...

( _No...it's mine. The Dovahkiin had convinced me that Alduin was a false God. I didn't trust her, but she willingly saved our lives...though I'm certain she was only trying to save yours._ )

Should have figured she'd find a way.

( _However, Prolg used trickery with the intent of stealing my soul, though he would have also stolen yours. If you want her back, you're going to have to find a way to get her from the Soul Cairn._ )

The Soul Cairn?

( _Speak with the others, they'll know.)_

I looked at Petra's peaceful form and felt her cold cheek. I still believed this was all my fault, despite what Zoklotinhaar said.

"I'm sorry Bryn..." Tonilia commented, resting her hand on my shoulder.

I sighed, defeated and deflated, as I grasped her hand. I know Ton really liked Petra too, as she was the first person the lass really opened up to.

"I'll be fine..." I lied.

That face...so beautiful. We worked out an agreement that though she might succeed in her future endeavours, that she wasn't going to die even when she was finished. But then...Ayisha's words... Complete the journey. There has to be a way to save her. I wasn't going to let her have unfinished business. Not now of all times. I felt the whirlpool of emotions flaring within. Anger, sorrow, despair. But within my heart...and with what the Priest told me, if I can get her, from the Soul Cairn, then you include hope.

"She wasn't supposed to die like this." I said outright, albeit with as calm and tranquil tone as I could manage.

"No...the Dovahkiin has always been the one in the main prophecy to take down Alduin. Specifically, the last Dovahkiin in existence...but just because something is, doesn't mean it must be." Paarthurnax explained.

I looked at Ayisha, again in prayer...lass was so intent on using religious resources on immediate impact and did so through grief and hardened spirt.

" _Un hun, un hun Siir kendovro hil..."_

I know that tune. I've heard it on the lips of bards, but not in the dragon language.

" _Zu'u fun hi, Zu'u fun hi Faal Dovahkiin meyz_ "

But to hear her sing it...just makes everything else...seem too surreal.

" _Voth kod suleyk do kruziik bron baas"_

Why would you create a prophecy? Just to let it never end of fulfilling itself?

" _Korah, korah faal Dovahkiin meyz"_

She was born to prove the dragons wrong and her death just sends a message that will allow them to rule? Just...I can see in my heart how that's just odd.

" _Niidro oblaan wah vokul do pah Keizaalro paal"_

To inspire songs and legends, only to have it all fall apart because of a dirty trick. It just doesn't seem fair.

" _Kosiir, kosiir faal Dovahkiin meyz_ "

It's an unjust cruelty, cast down to all of us...but cruel to Petra most of all.

" _Fah vulom lost rahn Ahrk zoor gah naram"_

The worst part is that she didn't want to be involved. She longed to live the normal life, but she had that taken away from her.

" _Hi mindok, hi mindok faal Dovahkiinro meyz"_

And I never got to...tell her...that...

"What will you do?" Mother asked me.

I looked down at Petra again. There's only so much you can do. But...if you're right Priest, then we can still find a way to fix this...

"The Rahkes...absorbs souls like the Dragonborn does. Her soul has been cast into the Soul Cairn...she is not meant to be dead now. And Shor knows I will not let it end like this..." I explained.

She squatted beside me and patted my head.

"It's hard to see there my son, a strong spirit taken down by deception. Even the Gods themselves never would have foreseen it." She told me.

That much was true. But...I was in such a state of disbelief that any course of action to get her back would be welcome. But...we're all thieves. We hardly know anything about magic. All we know is that necromancy is frowned upon. Stealing was our mission. Coin was our goal. We kept ourselves alive and afloat. This was just... Karliah shifted and laid Petra down carefully and in her grief, sat next to Ayisha and joined her in prayer. Suddenly, one by one, the others, who have probably have robbed more temples that they've ever done any worship in, awkwardly sat down around us. These people, who have seen more of their fare share of the Gods work in action in one day, were more inclined to believe that I was at the moment, who was just...having a very hard time doing so. Even Delphine, at the urging of Paarthurnax of all people.

Although, since the revelation of Nocturnal's shrine in the Cistern, the others having taken her gifts as their own and called upon the magics that helps them in their day to day lives. More coin that flows around the Guild. All because of Petra, Karliah and I who sold our souls just so we could keep on living the way we do. And the others relish in it. We're not a religious lot, but once you considered Delvin's curse theory eventually proven to be true, you stop joking about it. Skill is obviously still a factor here, but you here the stories of glorious robberies which the profound luck in which helps ply our trade. I was hesitant, but, without the usual dedication, and none of us were priests, it felt like life went on as normal but the vibe of the Guild, was just happier than before. And for a sorry lot like us, that's definitely saying something.

Paarthurnax had his head down as well, for such the respect of a soul stolen from us, that for a dragon, seemed to have the utmost respect for Petra as well. She had that effect on people nowadays. Though while the respect would be nice, being chided for not doing her real duties wasn't the problem, but witnessing her struggle to bring herself into the role was quite the task and she did it willingly. She told me her father once said "You gotta do the things you hate." or something along those lines. And in this stage, although she would rather be a thief or even have her head stuck in the snow, she had to do this to make sure this world survives just a bit longer for us all, and I saw the painful breaths she took as she did so, but she always remained focused.

To be taken from us...to be taken as nothing had been completed...just..so wrong. The Gods would never have let this happen. Was this our fault? No...it was my fathers. His lust for power has gone on long enough. And he had to die. Simple as that.

"Papa...mama's...ring..." Ayisha called out, bringing me out of the stupor I was in.

I looked at the ring on her finger, the one she said, was given to her by some guy in Whiterun. It was pulsating with an odd light. I felt...so wrong as I took it off her finger ever so gently, like a thief robbing a dead body. Even then it continued to do so as I held it in my hands. I turned to Ayisha, who tilted her head like a curious cat.

I felt...compelled to wear it...I put it on my finger, to see what it did...

* * *

Again...my world disappeared until there was nothing but darkness around me...until the torchbugs reappeared. I wasn't asleep again was I?

"The world still turns yet it will burn unless she's brought back." I heard a voice.

I stood up from where I was...seeing a Statue of Talos and a woman walking from the shadows. Her robes...the colour of red and she possessed long white hair, the colour of clouds...with matching gloves and boots to match. Her being..foreign and unknown. I was quite suspicious of it. But...given my grieving heart...my mind was elsewhere.

"You who wears my ring. I sensed the desperation in your heart, calling for answers." She voiced, her tone strong.

I squinted at her.

"Who are you?" I asked.

She smiled at me, her eyes glowing. Everything about her seemed wrong. She rose her arms and hands and stretched.

"I...am the Realm-Walker. Petra never got to speak to you properly about me. That was when you were having an episode with the Life-Ruiner over there..." She said as her eyes broke off contact with mine.

I turned to my left, seeing a man, similar looking to me but with scars on his face, thinner and more gaunt than mine and his eyes glowing like those of the Draugr.

"I was being summoned." The man said, his voice echoing alongside a thousand more. But I knew that voice.

"Zoklotinhaar?" I muttered.

"You know what he has to do. He has to go to the Soul Cairn to bring her back. " He said.

The Realm-Walker waggled her finger and smirked.

"Just a second there...you see...the Soul Cairn isn't just some tavern you can walk in, grab a drink and head out of. It demands a price. It's filled with monstrosities known as the Ideal Masters who are forever hungry for souls."

I nodded. Sounded terrible. Hopefully if Petra was there, she'd be okay.

"So what we give it a soul!" Zoklotinhaar boasted. I imagined him more of a boisterous and more obnoxious version of me. Even grumpier than Mercer.

The Realm-Walker shook her head, then turned to me.

"Brynjolf, I imagine a man of your state to be riddled in despair, losing the woman he loves in such a stupid way to die. But you remain vigilant. I applaud you. Your spirit is stronger than you may think. However, getting Petra's soul back isn't going to be easy. And in normal circumstances, perhaps the Gods meant for this to happen."

I blinked.

"What?"

She frowned and started to pace around.

"A person of my position sees hundreds and thousands of paths in the lives we take. Similar situations, similar results. There are those results that either succeed or fail. Both can happen. But not at the same time. Because these are reflected in decision making. Where one decision can lead you down through one path, another can give you a completely different ending. Life...death. If you consider the worlds infinite in life and death, this world, this...realm demands failure because failure can exist. This is a world, that is blinded by failure and is cursed by it. However no one knows that. There are...many situations that have pretty much the same ending but with different people involved. You can say these are permanently ingrained in the worlds they're in. I have...seen and gone to many places that are sectioned in one simple category."

My mind was exploding...failure? Cursed?

"Do you mean, with Nocturnal? With Mercer?" I questioned.

She shook her head.

"No. This is just in general. It's how...the cosmos works. In short, in normal circumstances, Petra cannot be taken out of the Soul Cairn, she is a soul, stuck there by the laws of the realm. That's just fact and that can't be changed." She continued.

No...that can't be true. No...no no no no...

"There have been many worlds like this one, that have had the same conflicts as you do. Because that world is destined to die...it is how it is. When you see how many worlds there are it's impossible to interfere and save everyone. For example, Petra's gone. Alduin is free to fulfil his duty as the World-Eater and will destroy the world. Because this is a world where the situation is as such, what if the Dragonborn dies before Alduin does?"

That can't happen...the Gods won't allow it.

"But with...so many worlds...so many...universes based on the concepts of choice it's almost impossible to predict what actually might happen. This has definitely happened, in thousands, if not millions of scenarios. Existence is infinite, or so they say...I personally hate it. Parts of us will live on in one way or another, even if we've already died, so you can take comfort in that I suppose."

There has to be a way...

"A lot of the details I want to explain will go over your heads or drive you both insane. Depending on which way you take it. But, long story short, Petra is unable to leave. Alduin will destroy this world. Not as foretold by prophecy, but as foretold by the laws of possibilities. Those cannot be changed."

I fell to my knees, feeling the despair running all over me. No...I can't...I can't stop shaking. Petra...I realize your feelings...your true self.

"What makes you so superior to know all that witch? What makes you think it can't be changed simply because some law says so?" Zoklotinhaar questioned.

The Realm-Walker shrugged. I wanted to hate her for this, I wanted her to lie and just...Gods...I can't...

"You have accepted the fact that Nocturnal won't accept you due to your love. It is an unwritten fate for you Priest. Like Brynjolf here, you're both pretty much doomed for it. Doom-driven, as Petra was. This happens to major figures like yourselves. Though Bryn...you're...quite interesting in this scenario. Probably in one of the best I've ever seen."

How can she be so...cold? I...I can't have Petra back...no...and she was treating us like we were entertainment. I became furious.

"Then...what do we do?" Zoklotinhaar asked.

The bitch looked at me and smirked. I was going to lose it.

"Brynjolf, you have the most pleading eyes I've ever seen. I knew coming here was going to be so worth it. Zoklotinhaar...hmm...don't know about you though. Never really enjoyed you tormenting your own people like that." She continued.

The priest looked down. Get to the point lass!

"I'm not proud of that either. Alduin demanded traitors pay the price." He admitted.

A Priest not letting pride go to his head? That's a first.

"Hmm...well, gentlemen, you're very lucky and very fortunate to have me here." She claimed. "I stumbled into this realm upon exiting another. Maybe it was for a reason even I never knew. But here I am, here to help."

I looked up at her, emotionally stunted.

"Your love is well supported by many as I have seen. Some comment but others I see are afar and want you to find happiness. I am but a friend. A friend whom you can speak to. I may not reply but I do not judge based your actions. Only observe. However...I've been meaning to experiment with fate, to see whether failure can be reversed."

Still didn't understand, but...if it meant...what I thought it meant...

"My real power isn't just to...well, realm-walk, but a woman in my role is that I can pretty much make rules. Isn't that cool? I told myself not to interfere, but, I like this world. No...I like the people in it. I have been in many worlds where the stories themselves are, let's just say, terrible. Endings sometimes good, bad, what ever. The people are terrible. There are the good ones of course, but others...you'll have to agree with me to say they deserved to end. Don't let that get you of course...it's none of your concern. Seriously, it's not. Forget I mentioned it." She worded in the most bizarre way possible.

Zoklotinhaars squinted. I sensed he was just as perplexed as I was.

"You have the power to change fate? Are you...a God?" He wondered.

I was beginning to wonder that too. She patted her lip with her index finger. Maybe this was a form she took when she spoke with mortals. She seemed out of..time and space in origin as well.

"Uhhh no...no. Nice thought though...I'll take it as a compliment. Sometimes however, I have no idea what I am. But I don't care. My Crusaders are my supporters who have taken to calling me Master, but...even so...I'm just a wanderer of time and space. Stories with me in them, make me seem...overpowered. Probably true in any case. I mean, you have to make the stories interesting enough to even warrant me being involved. If I'd have known you guys would have actually done this, I would have never come forward. But...this requires a little bit of 'divine' intervention...if you can call in that." She explained.

Just take it as it comes Bryn, don't sweat it over the small stuff.

"But...enough about that..." She said, clapping her hands together and rubbing them.

"So...you want to get Petra back from the Soul Cairn...right. Let's see...Rahkes is an unusual blade with an unusual power. I suspect its enchantments with soul trapping are far more advanced than any regular spell or weapon with the same ability, given Petra's soul status so we need to think of something equally powerful...ah! An inspired thought has just come to me...hang on.."

I watched as she pulled a face and pulled something out of her sleeve.

"Okay...here we go...ah...I remember this little thing..."

She walked up to me and placed the object in my hands. It was some kind of...golden crystal. I rose an eyebrow at her.

"That...that little creation is something you'd find in maybe what...ten, twenty realms tops? Good luck trying to find those. Anyway, this is actually a Golden Soul Gem. Never see those normally now do you?"

Zoklotinhaar and I exchanged confused glances. What in Oblivion was going on?

"Normally, you could actually do this with a normal soul gem, but in Petra's case, it's actually more difficult than that. Now, you know the way Soul Gems work...soul trap someone, a creature...or if you're feeling a bit evil, you get a black soul gem for man or mer and obtain incredible power for your enchantments. People tend to forget the soul ends up in the Soul Cairn and is there...forever. Petra's case, however...is different because she has an immortal soul in mortals body. She requires a much more delicate and complicated procedure.

You can't soul trap a dragon...you're a dragonborn...you absorb the soul yourself and the dragon loses everything in the process, only their knowledge and power is shared. Vampires have...well, technically don't have souls. Daedra return to their plane of Oblivion...and Gods...yeah good luck with that. So giving up your mortality always requires a soul price, that no longer makes you, well, you. A sacrifice made to sever your allegiance with Arkay some might say. That's just how things work. Well, except the Nerevarine. He went through the hard yards to get there. And he didn't actually want it...or so some of the stories told me.

Ah well. But yeah. In most situations there is definitely a soul price. For a Dragonborn's spirit. Where does it return to exactly when the flesh is no more? It's wonder for the ages. Talos became a God...some go to Sovngarde. But...having an immortal soul, instead of an immortal body like most people desire to attain, is a very rare factor considering what Dragonborn are meant for. That's where Golden Soul Gems come in. They can contain the power of an immortal spirit. That's extremely rare...so rare...that it's considered heinous to most...even the Gods themselves. Better yet, they break the laws that confine souls to any plane of Oblivion or the Aedric realms. It's more...of a container..."

My heart skipped a beat. I finally understood. I looked down at the crystal in my hand. I could...contain Petra's spirit in here and set her free...

"Are you sure that will bode well within the laws?" Zoklotinhaar wondered. His questions were logical enough I suppose.

She smirked and crossed her arms.

"All you have to do, is go into the Soul Cairn, use your blade as you would on her then waiting for her spirit to be absorbed. Return to your realm and take it to her. Break the gem over her and it should go back into her body...which I would start preserving...don't want the body to...well, you know...best bet, is preserve in Stahlrim...don't worry, I'll take care of that too. I should start charging for all the workload I do lately..."

This was almost...too good to be true.

"What's the catch?" I wondered.

There's always a catch.

"Catch?" She said with a slight chuckle. "Hm...the Soul Cairn is challenging enough as it is. Don't expect it to be easy. Death changes people. While I can deal with the hands of fate, I cannot guarantee that Petra will be the same. But she's a strong girl. She'll be okay. But I sense a trial ahead of you. Both of you will need to discuss it once you've come across an issue. I'll send a relay to inform you."

I nodded. It was too soon to say I felt better about our situation. Even if this Realm-Walker had ulterior motives, her willing to bend the rules to save Petra appeals to me the most. It was a start and I'd rather not sit around and wait. If Petra went out of her way to save me, to combat her worst fears, then I need to achieve the impossible for her.

"Okay then lass, we get the picture. Let's get started. Only one thing...how do we get there?" I questioned.

The Realm-Walker looked at Zoklotinhaar and put a hand to her hip.

"There should be a portal nearby. I sense...hmm...ahh...fascinating. I was going to suggest Castle Volkihar to the north western seas...but I have detected an anomaly...your...little abode Priest. Someones made a pathway. Never been a proper pathway since the Oblivion Crisis. But...someone could have opened it somehow out of pure desperation. So let's also say, the catch is...getting there in time. Someone could be after her." She answered ambiguously.

Zoklotinhaar appeared to be perplexed.

"My chambers? I do not recall placing a portal there, only my failed copy of the Conduit to the Ebonmere." He said.

I looked at him. It was suspicious but it was closer and easier for us.

"Well, someones obviously finished the job there lad. Fixed it up...only to go to the Soul Cairn. You and I will have to work together on this. Are you up to it?" I dared.

He grumbled. I didn't like this any more than he did...but we had to do it. For Petra's sake. He'll just have to put up with it.

"Hmph...fine. I suppose I could be of some use." He answered.

I nodded.

"Good...then let's tell the others." I said.

I had once given up all hope, but now...we're certain. And if the Realm-Walker is right, then we should be able to resurrect her with minor issues. But the Soul Cairn. Zoklotinhaar knew that place was treacherous. Another realm, another set of dangers afoot.

("I've read about it. Not exactly homely from it's descriptions.")

Aye, I hear that. Having a way to solve this...makes me...happy.

("Don't get sappy on me...")

Heh...don't worry. Happiness is infectious though, you should try it sometime.

("Bah...I'm stuck in you. How in Mundus does that make me happy?")

Thankfully, we all have to do what we hate. Note that as me being sarcastic.


	60. Soul Cairn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf enters the Soul Cairn to find Petra's lost soul.

 

Telling the others this plan was no easy feat, believe me.

I wasn't going to judge them on their skepticism when I told them about how we were going to save her. Bringing up the Golden Soul Gem brought up a lot of questions.

( _"I'm fond of the words the one you call Delvin used; Just roll with it"_ )

Yeah I know. All they would have to care about it was that it's what we need to get her soul back in her body. But most of what I worried for was that the Realm-Walker's words, stating that she wasn't going to come back the exact way she was.

( _"As to be expected. Petra had told me that previously...that a total resurrection, meaning everything that was will not necessarily stay within the resurrected. That much, I do know now."_ )

For the most part, the others members of the Guild remained confused. I wouldn't expect them to understand those sorts of logics and magics they've never had to face in their lives. They're expected to not have to encounter and delve into combat if it was possible.

( _"Either way, it's best to be prepared."_ )

Heh...no it's okay. They're prepared to fight. I've seen them train in the cistern. I don't know what the Soul Cairn is like.

( _"I was there for a bit before being taken out against my will. It's not somewhere you would want to be, that I know for certain."_ )

Right, so anything we should be aware of?

(" _Monsters of course. Might have changed. I only recommend caution."_ )

I'll keep that in mind...anyway, I had relayed this back to the others and took in their input on the topic. Mother said she was going to aid as much as she could, as she had previously looked up Soul Cairn knowledge in the Archives. Karliah and the lil' lass Ayisha pledged their support. I wouldn't want Ayisha in there though and wanted her to stay with the others. Though with her connections to the spirit world, it would be plausible for her to stay close and heed her advice should we need it. It's helped us many times before...somehow.

"You have any idea how crazy this sounds?" Delphine commented.

Ah the Blade, almost forgot she was still here. I'd rather be honest with the lass.

"Aye, I do. But what choice do we have?" I told her.

I've known Delphine for a fraction of the time. Secretive wouldn't even describe her. But I know she's here to guide and protect Petra due to her obligations. Which is why we need her to protect her body until we get back.

( _"You might want to use the spares to either join you inside, or at least defend the Conduit in case Prolg decides to come back."_ )

Noted. We headed towards the main chambers, that still stood there, surprisingly.

( _"I would be wary to assassins from the rebels back in the day. Had to keep defenses up."_ )

Right. We went inside, seeing the Conduit itself as we entered, giving off a violet glow, swirling like a vortex with floating stone steps. The rest of the room felt, homely, oddly enough, after being abandoned for a quite a few eras. Plently of white pillars and the floor marble like the temple, several shelves, tables and chairs. Most like Prolg making his home here the bastards...but the conduit gave off negative vibes...not to mention it was giving me chills.

( _"It's amazing how it's working now, though not in the way I intended it to be."_ )

I stood before it, beholding it's energies. It definitely felt like walking into another world, that much I know. But I had to make sure we all knew what we were doing and what we were getting ourselves into. Vex and Delvin had taken Petra's body inside with care. I couldn't help but watch them as they brought her in.

( _"Take her to the stone bed. Leave her there. Didn't the Realm-Walker say she was sending someone to get Stahlrim?")_

I had almost forgotten that. I pointed towards the slab at the end of the room, with Tonilia helping them out. I wandered over and sat beside her. Karliah had come up to me in the meantime, with Vex, Delvin and Tonilia walking away for the moment.

"Are you certain about this Brynjolf? This idea...it's quite unrealistic." Karliah commented. If this been a few months ago, I would have said the same thing.

"Aye I hear ya." I told her. "The Guild's never done anything like this before. If it's one thing we know, is that we help our own. Mercer failed to have that stuck in his head before we killed him and now with you in charge, we can consider the best of us deserving this."

Karliah frowned as she looked at Petra. She felt sorry for the poor lass, having been put through a lot herself...seeing the hurt from within.

"It's not that..I know...I still want Gallus back. He's gone. Gone with the shadows. So he's still here with us, just not physically. As much as I need him here I've long accepted that I can't have that. Sometimes the dead need to stay that way."

I rubbed my face, frustrated by her words and lack of faith, but. I wanted to believe that the Realm-Walker wouldn't send us of on false pretenses and it all ends up being for nothing. The dead need to stay dead, but then again...Petra is different from everyone else. She's not what you expect her to be as a person.

"Petra died for a purpose. Same with Gallus. But Petra...she's been wrongfully sent to the Soul Cairn without fulfilling her bargain with Nocturnal. Or fulfilling her real potential as Dragonborn. We've been given a chance to set it right again. Even if we don't succeed in reviving her, we at least have to give her a chance to be allowed to go where she needs to...either in Sovngarde or with Nocturnal. She has every right to choose."

Karliah crossed her arms, a bit pensive. Gallus' death wouldn't have been glamorous, but he was still key to solving a major issue.

"I'm not a Nord like you two. I don't understand the meanings of her being Dragonborn and how that fares with the others. I'm not saying it's not going to work, I'm just telling you I'm not so certain it will, simply because I have no knowledge of what you're about to face. I'll heed your word because I care about Petra. We all do." Karliah continued.

Good to have her on board. Faith, is what I need right now. Ironic isn't it...never did have much of it. I had an eye for talent and skill, but faith alone is see through and unreliable. But for now, I'll take it.

"Hey, don't fret it lass." I told her as I patted her arm.

"You may be the Guildmaster, but you know, we have contacts who will give us what need to get through it. You worry about the Guild, I'll worry about everything else. Agreed?"

She smiled weakly. I think she wanted to help more since she was leading our mess, but she doesn't have to do anything. She could lead them all out of here and back to Riften for their own safety.

* * *

An unusual noise sounded behind us following two large violet orbs quickly growing into view, then disappearing, leaving behind two people clad in white robes. This must have been the people she spoke of before.

They had a black coffin with them...hmmm...

( _"The Stalhrim?"_ )

Aye, figured that to be the case. I wandered to the pair, whom, I could swear must have been bickering, though with their hoods on, it was hard to discern.

"Bloody hell, she sends us here with this load of of ice? Magical ice? You know I had to pick that meself. What a nightmare!" Complained the tall one. He dropped back his hood. He was an Altmer with bushy, short blonde hair. Very tall and lanky, like the slightest breeze would push him over. His eyes were of an unusual blue, with the usual elvish bony thin face.

The other, flicked back. Redguard maybe? Pale for a redguard though. Possibly a Imperial-Redguard offspring, but her eyes reminded me of Petra, light blue and beautiful and black hair tied up in a pony tail. She only rolled her eyes at her Altmer companion.

"You've been sent from the Realm-Walker I assume?" I asked.

The woman looked at me, troubled but she seemed to analyze me.

( _"Maybe she's seen you before?"_ )

No...never seen her. But the High Elf seemed to butt in at every given moment. He grabbed my hand and shook it.

"Uh yes! Yes we are! We have your Stalhrim, perfect for preserving dead bodies, fresh from Solstheim. So...where is she?" He said so fast I barely understood him until his last four words. I was more stunned at the elf's...enthusiastic demeanor. But...he as willing to help I guess. I pointed behind me as he rubbed his hands.

"Alright then...love, give me a hand..."

He picked up the coffin alongside his associate, taking the coffin to the bed and placing her inside with utmost care. I have a feeling those two could be Priests of Arkay, but I'm not sure. But...that being said, the Realm-Walker is already an odd sort. These two just...seemed to fit in with the strange vibes I was getting.

The coffin was then laid on the bed and they made cautious adjustments, all the while the elf just beamed, and the lass herself just seemed over it. Though she still didn't say a word.

( _"This era is strange. Is this normal?"_ )

Honestly, I don't know anymore. I've had enough strangeness to numb me for a while.

The Elf turned to me after he was finished settling Petra in. His smile was just more creepy than comforting. The lad definitely felt out of this world. No wonder why the Realm-Walker recruited him.

"Let's see...ah...yeah so you guys heading to the Soul Cairn eh...you worked out how you're gonna bypass the barrier?" He asked.

I browed. What was he on about?

"What barrier?" I wondered.

The Elf and the lass looked at one another with worry. I had a feeling there'd be some sort of catch. Priest?

( _"I was sent there. I suppose there must be a protective force for people wanting to go in there, willingly._ ")

The High Elf face-palmed.

"Oh dear...they...they haven't figured it out have they? Mate, you want to visit that place, you're gonna need to do two things...one, you can be partially soul trapped. If any of you know don't that spell, I'll be happy to teach you...or I could do it myself...been taught by the best...to be the best... Or...you can be a vampire. Which...none of you are...hmm...looks like the s-"

The lass elbowed him in the gut.

"What was that for? Oh...yeah. The third option. You see, our 'benevolent' masters ring can protect you from the...dreaded effects of the Soul Cairn. According to her, the Ideal Masters hunger for souls. Sounds so cliché and written in dozens of books...ugh she thinks she is so high and mighty...but she's a good person. Don't forget that."

Great.

"So...I'm the only one allowed in? Unless they become soul trapped or become a vampire?" I reiterated.

The Elf shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah...unfortunately I wish there are better options. But our beloved leader has gifted you enough...no matter, no matter. The Soul trapping part is a bit difficult though. By splitting your soul, into say, I dunno..taking one fifth? One sixth? Can't remember how what's her face did it. Anyway, you offer that to them.  _Buuut_  it just makes you a tad weaker as all. But I think...the cat? Was it that what she said love? That she said the cat would be able to go in fine. Or was it because of her ring?"

( _"This Elf confuses me."_ )

The lass shook her head and mouthed something to him. Who realized...

"Oh but of course! The ring can! But since she no longer has that...she'll still be fine because she's the Mane, a unique spirit herself, she's actually immune to the effects too! What a coincidence. I wonder if all the worlds do that...but yeah, the cat can definitely go."

Ayisha...she ran up to me and hugged my leg. Bless the young lass. You could say she was over the moon.

But Karliah looked a bit depressed by the matter. I think as Guildmaster she needed to stay, but she was a Nightingale like me and Petra, it would only be fair. But...even so.

"I'll go..."

I turned.

Mother?

"I'll be partially soul trapped willingly. If my husband is in there, I need to see to him quickly and end this quickly." She continued in her insistence.

I'd never seen her so...like this. All I remember was her babbling on about nonsense and being rather cryptic about it.

( _"Your mother?"_ )

Aye mother. Often predicted the war. But...if she wants to do this willingly, within the Soul Cairn it will allow us to talk.

"Ah okay...then...right. So...according to memory...and what I was told as well, is that I'll need to trap a portion of your soul into a soul gem. Once you get in there that gem will automatically be taken by an Ideal Master closest the portal. They're not hard to find...they're like, big, gigantic Soul Gem's themselves. Eldritch and mysterious. But that's the fun part isn't it?"

( _"Make him shut up."_ )

"Well let's quit talking about it and let's move...we don't have a lot of time."

* * *

We organized our groups to prepare our trip within. The Elf cast the spell on my mother, who had a fierce determination to see this through. Ayisha's immunity to the barrier was quite interesting. I hadn't heard of the Mane stuff about the Khajiit, but their mythological prospects aren't that far from ours in terms of who they worship and so forth. Karliah would lead the band to protect the portal to the realm as the others. Vex, Delvin and Tonilia would make sure Petra's body is well-guarded. If the Elf was right and if the Realm-Walker proclaimed it, then it should be fine. Hopefully. I often have doubt on these things.

( _"Stahlrim is a unique magical ice that can also be fashioned into armour. Some Priests were contemplating getting that themselves."_ )

Now that doesn't surprise me. Anyway, with Ayisha and mother by my side, I hoped that we were all ready to partake the journey, into the unknown.

We approached the top of the steps, staring into the abyss itself. I was more worried that none of us would get out alive. But, this was the only way we could do it. And I was adamant, to prove fate wrong.

( _"Blinded by Failure...can we twist it? If the Realm-Walker said it was so, that all worlds have different fates? Was this...destined to fall so another may pass? I feel like we're violating something here."_ )

The Realm-Walker will take care of it, I'm sure. But I'm not going to let anything bypass me lad. Petra will be saved.

( _"Let's hope your words mean more than just sounds coming out of your mouth."_ )

Same here.

"Good luck. And...walk with the shadows." Karliah muttered before he headed inside...

* * *

I awaited something dramatic to happen. Except nothing really didn't. The air smelt different, the temperature was colder, a lot more colder than the frozen parts of Skyrim. The energies felt dark, depressing and void.

( _"I remember this place briefly. Your soul is hollow with misery and despair. You are nothing, stuck in this realm for eternity. The black stone buildings...the sky...constructed of nothing, though the souls claim it's just the impossible reach of escape, why there's a hole in the sky...that they mention. But they hold nothing. And are nothing but mind and spirit...torn in the darkness, left to rot and go mad. But where I was sealed, where I was taken. I wasn't sure whether I was properly placed within Nocturnal's grasp or worse. Like you, I am not even sure how these realms even work. I long for the shadowed touch of Nocturnal, but I know that is never going to happen."_ )

Sounds awful...the fire's that were lit, of violet flame and black stones swirling on towers. The land barren and filled with dead trees. A low mist covered some parts in patches...and the whole realm just had this purple hue to it. This place...Petra, where are you?

"The Archives have information on the Soul Cairn dating far back into Zoklotinhaars era. Documents read that a dragon once sought the power of necromancy, to raise an army of dead to do his bidding. But, it didn't quite go to plan and was tricked by the Ideal Masters...that was written by a Nightingale who had witnessed the whole deal...the dragons name was lost, but the Nightingale back then had written down that he once proclaimed to a whole town of rebels that he was going to come back with a vengeance. Claimed that he himself controlled death." My mother explained.

Ayisha held my hand, obviously scared. She wanted to come though. I think her, well, Petra's previous desire for determination was rubbing off on her. But no lass at her age deserved to see death like this.

We walked down a path that lead us around. More broken down buildings of ebony...some half deep down into the earth. Ayisha tugged my arm, pointing towards a peculiar fungi on the side of the path.

"Soul Husks...the only thing that grows here apparently." Mother mentioned.

(" _They're edible at least. Protects your soul a bit."_ )

"Ironic...how life somehow thrives here. But irony just makes it worse." I commented.

We walked past the cracks, that steam shot through. Though I heard whispers...that wasn't steam...

( _"They're souls creeping through the Cairn, disembodied, They no longer know who they are..."_ )

Speaking of which, I know it was going to be a while until we came across anything to be noted, and now was a good time to start asking questions...

"Mother..." I muttered.

She combed her fingers through her dark red hair.

"I know what you're going to ask me son. Where have I been? All these years...trying to protect myself that's what. And protecting you..." She said, reading my mind.

Although she was a mystic...

"Father said you died..." I blundered such words out, unintentionally.

She pouted, then sighed.

"No...it's a bit complicated to state. As Loremaster, you're inclined and dedicated to keep all the secrets you can. But you are a Nightingale. So I can now afford to tell you. Which is what I've been dying to tell you all these years." She said.

( _"Nightingale obligations or not...I don't know whether or not to trust her."_ )

I frowned. Thanks for the confidence Priest.

"So you left me in the hands of that...insane excuse for a father. You have any idea what he put me through?" I called out.

She lowered her head...I sensed shame. She had to know.

"I am sorry Brynjolf. I had left him as soon as I discovered his treachery in a small semblance of my sanity that I could muster. I may have appeared to have lost my mind, but our blood line makes us privy to tell-tale dreams. You of all people should know that." She said.

Aye...her fortune telling in the most bizarre way possible.

"I have had time to recover since then. I was Loremaster, when Gallus decided to induct Mercer Frey into our order, alongside Karliah, your Guildmaster."

One of the biggest mistakes...alongside one of the best.

"I know you were very young when Mercer took the Skeleton Key from the Twilight Sepulcher. And I was locked out of the Archives and left to go mad without my connection to the Ebonmere and by extension the Evergloam and Nocturnal herself."

I browed. Stories I was mostly too young to understand.

"So you, when I was just a boy...you changed...father said your trips were just business...saying you were in Riften." I stated.

She nodded.

"Yes...Riften. I had my connections with Gallus and Delvin. When the key was stolen that day, I felt the instant sever of my ties to Nocturnal. I was still in the Sepulcher at the time. Desperate to be left in. You remember that time Brynjolf? I called out to your father...and he..he...Mercer..." She said, as her words softened.

I felt anger in my heart as mothers eyes welled up. An expression so familiar...that I... no, not you...Mercer...even after you're death I want to kill you again to what ever hell hole you ended up in.

"Mother, he's dead now. You needn't worry about him any longer." I assured her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

"It's..I know son. But...I wasn't strong enough to raise you. I had hidden myself away down in the Ratway for many years, under a pseudonym, my madness condoning me as Hefid the Deaf. Memory serves that I was really mad. It...wasn't a pleasant experience. Karliah found me there once I had regained my true self. She was looking for contacts when she found me. I know that lad Vekel used to come down to the Warrens to give us food. Perhaps when the key itself was returned I slowly got my sanity bck. He'd come down here and I remembered who I was and took me to Karliah. I couldn't believe what had happened to me, I lost so many years Brynjolf and I'd lost everything. She introduced me to that face sculptor you have down there and had her remake my face to make me feel better and got me up to speed with current events after I told her who I was. I found myself again under the old image, after being warn down by madness for so long. Then I met your friend Petra. A young girl, gorgeous and petite...not to mention, I figured out the love she had for you...and aided her as best as I could." She revealed.

All this time...alive...down in the warrens. She had been so close and I never realized it. Brynjolf, you fool.

(" _There's no way you could have known. Loremasters have a spiritual link to the Archives, like she said, that drove her to what she had become. Once it breaks...there's not much you can do but watch yourself fall..."_ )

"I'm...sorry mother. If I had known...if I had seen." I said, as I took it all in.

We stopped as she hugged me tight. I gripped onto her all the same. It'd...been forever since we could do this and all this time within me that I told myself I'd never get this chance again. Maybe what I saw in mother is what I saw in Petra. Two souls trying to seek themselves once more. But this felt nice...Ayisha joined in too.

"Don't blame yourself Brynolf. Never do that. The matter is fixed and here we are, in each others presence once more. And I am no longer bound by the secrecy...although Ayisha here...don't know whether she'll understand all of this..." She said.

The Khajiit looked up at us and smiled. She knew more than she was letting on. But I don't think that'll matter too much. Most Khajiit have links to us anyway...plus she once had the Ring of Khajiiti, considered a link to Nocturnal in certain respects. I think. But Prolg still had a lot to answer for. I'm curious if we could get the ring back.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. We'll need to stay focused for now...but thanks. I'm really glad to have you back." I said.

I think in hindsight, I would have never expected to see her again and while it never made sense to me why she returned, it made more sense to me when she worded it out. And I can't stop myself feeling so stupid thinking about how she was down in the Ratway the entire time. Even then, I would have never figured her to be a thief. Heh...guess it really does run in blood.

( _"I will not break tinvaak with the thu'um with you there. Larceny must be really potent in our sos."_ )

* * *

We must have walked for what felt like hours. Scenery hardly changed. Damaged buildings...dead trees. Soul Husks. We came across the run down remains of what may have been a temple, seeing a pair of souls parched upon its steps. It wouldn't hurt to ask them a few questions.

Souls are harder to define by colour but more by their shape and distinctive frame work. These two...a man and a woman, sat there, staring out in the darkness of the realm, pensive. Though I wouldn't want to disturb them, I'd really not walk around without a real sense of direction.

"Excuse me, sorry. But, have you seen a woman, small, possibly wearing a type of..well, interesting armor?" I questioned. This wasn't something I did often, talking with ghosts.

The man stood up, his expression indifferent.

"The three of you should get out of here while you'll still can." He responded, his voice echoing.

I browed. This was awkward. I cleared my throat.

"Are we in any immediate danger?" I asked.

He looked down.

"You don't want to be here stranger. My wife and I were cast down here. With no reason. We had come to Skyrim on the invitation to an old friend...and the next thing we know, we're here. Don't know...I can't...I can't stand it." He cried.

The woman herself, was silent and looked out of sorts. She had lost all hope by the looks of it.

"Do you remember your names?" Mother asked them as she crossed her arms.

"I'm Gerard. This is my wife, Hesta." He answered.

Mother knew names had power.

"Good. Remember that and you'll keep to yourselves." She mentioned. Mother was a type of mystic, she knew these things well enough.

"We'll try. Our only regret, was leaving our daughter behind. She came to Skyrim some months ago. She was writing letters at first but then she stopped. We became worried that she'd been killed. I told her not to go on her own but she insisted."

I noticed something about my mother as she stared at them intently, her eyes darting across from soul to soul. She was in deep thought for the looks of it, seeing something I obviously wasn't.

"Sorry to hear that. But keep the hope that she might still be alive. There are many reasons people stop doing what they're doing and all the answers will point to immediate death. But that might be the case." Mother continued. I understood she was trying to make them feel better, but...here..eternity and time itself seems misguided.

( _"Unslaad Krosis"_ )

But I needed answers. They would be grieving forever anyway. I feel horrible in doing it, but we had to try.

"So...uh...have you seen anyone besides yourselves here lately?" I questioned.

Gerard sighed.

"There many souls that linger here. But if you're looking for anything specific I've heard rumours of a dragon down here. Which is odd, why would be dragon be here of all places?" He questioned.

( _"Is this the Dov that your mother was telling you about?"_ )

"A dragon? Interesting. Do you know where we might find this dragon?" I had to ask. We needed leads.

He rubbed his chin.

"Don't know why you'd wanna find one. But...I guess. The Dragon is not far from here. Just keep head west from here, you should see a huge building, like an arena. The Dragon is said to roam there. Just...be very careful. You don't want to end up like us!" Gerard warned.

We thanked Gerard for his help and went towards the western plains. This place still gave me chills, but with mother and Ayisha here...I can remain strong. Strong for both of them. It was quite the walk however, coming across the large black building It had a type of barrier around it, strangely enough. Don't know how we could penetrate it though. Damn it.

* * *

We kept walking around, trying to find this dragon elsewhere...but we came across more buildings and nothingness...

Ayisha then pulled on my leg.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Ayisha senses dragon presence nearby, A different spirit to all the others. The state of rottenness. Sadness...anger...melancholy." She explained.

I rubbed my chin. Hmm...we must be getting close.

"Is there anyway to get it's attention?" I asked.

( _"Use the thu'um. We do not know it's name...however...I might. I do recall the story your mother has mentioned. The Dragon who rose corpses in battle. His name...I will help you with this. I recall...Durnehviir. Shout it into the darkened skies and he shall appear to you."_ )

Hmm...alright. If you think that'll help. Although I'll be surprised if I can shout at all, given that I am no Dragonborn nor was my training with the Greybeards ever successful. I tapped on mothers shoulder. Don't know if she knows that you're in here Priest, I mean, still.

( _"I don't really care at his point. Do what you have to do."_ )

Alright then...I told her that I found out the name of the Dragon, when asked why, I just let her know that Zoklotinhaar told me. She accepted that well enough and was actually quite proud that we were actually speaking with one another.

( _"We are prisoners in our own minds...well, she was. I still am. Being Loremaster is a position of respect within the Nightingale order. Not completely within the Trinity, but somewhere along those lines."_ )

"If you know the name and can shout it...then so be it..." Mother stated.

I had never personally shouted before. The priest here knows about that more than I do.

( _"Just take a deep breath, know the name on your lips...Durnehviir...say it...within you of course. And when you're ready...use the thu'um on the skies..."_ )

It took me sometime to get myself prepared for it...for the inevitability of it all. I must do it, as I must feel what Petra feels. It may be easier to be Dragonborn to know the shouts, but I guess if you're just calling someones name you don't need much to focus on. But...irregardless..

I stretched and cracked my neck, allow myself to be soothed during the process. I wasn't expecting this to be easy.

( _"Ready?"_ )

I took a huge intake of air and lifted my head towards the skies of Oblvion...

" ** _Dur... Neh Viir!_** " I shouted, a cycle of power circling around me...

I fell over, underneath the enormous amount of...just unrecognised fleeting magics. Mother and Ayisha helped me up after my stagger. And my throat was a bit sore, felt like it was burning...

Suddenly, I could see a dragon come flying in our direction. I readied my blade, as did mother and Ayisha stood behind us. We had to be extremely cautious in our approach.

The Dragon flew towards us and flew there in one spot in the air. His...body looked different akin to those of normal dragons. His...skin was green and it was...melting constantly. This was not any dragon like I'd seen before.

( _"But it is like that of the Jen Dovah...but at the same time, he is not."_ )

Aye...like that. Does he normally look like this?

( _"Krosis, I am not sure. Best try to negotiate with him for now. I would wager he'd seen a lot more than anyone else. Obviously"_ )

Here we go...

We looked up at the monster before us as he leered and titled his head.

"You call me as if you know me..." He spoke, his voice deeper than most dragons I've heard speak.

"Your thu'um...hmm...I suppose tinvaak is in order. But I sense those of the living have business with those of the undead. A lot has been occuring here as of late, and I have reason to believe why that is."

I put away my weapons, yielding for him to do the same. He flapped down and perched himself on the top of a nearby wall. You know, my perspective on dragons has changed a lot recently.

( _"You and me both."_ )

I guess there are smart ones. And he seems to know why we're here.

"Tell me...live ones...why are you here?" He asked us.

"We're here to find a soul that has been cast down here just recently. Being the top flyer of this place, we figured you may know where this soul might be..." I replied.

He lifted his head and inspected us. Hopefully not to think we're food or anything.

"Hmm...true. I do see a lot from my wings alone. Times have been patient and dull, before the arrival of a soul that did come in just recently. But I do not know if it is the soul you seek." He said.

I crossed my arms. If its considered exciting enough for a dragon, it had to be Petra for sure.

"Is this soul, nord? Small maybe?" I queried.

Durnehviir shook his head.

"No...it wasn't. I have found it bizarre, since these souls do not make it to the Soul Cairn alone. I have had some suspicions, given the echoes that I hear from Tamriel every so often. I have conversed with this soul who seems to know itself from what it was. I found it most interesting and have observed it ever since."

( _"Ask him whether he can bring the soul to us."_ )

"Do you know if you can either bring the soul to us...or where it's located...?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"Not far...not far...just on the other side of the Boneyard...near the derelict word wall. It sits there, brooding. Come...I will show you..."

* * *

The dragon flew up into the air again, allowing us to follow him, technically we were running but we chased him across the barren plains, passed the entrance to the large building and nearby the word wall he spoke of. We approached as Durnehviir perched himself again on the word wall. We couldn't see anything as the wall was curved, but the dragon ushered us closer. We walked around as he spoke to whom ever was there, as the area was darker than most of the other places here and covered with the shroud of mist.

"Young Dov, there are some people here who wish to speak with you." He spoke.

As we came around, we could see another spirit, blue like all the others...but in the shape of a dragon. It seemed to cower itself, it's wings covering it's head and it's back to us. A dragon...ghost?

What? I've...I've never seen anything like it.

"What? Tell them to go away...I don't want any more souls berating me today..." The dragon worded...but the voice, familiar...feminine with the extra spiritual echoes inflected on it. I knew it...I just...

"They are from the living. I believe they do not wish to bring you any harm." Durnehviir assured.

( _"Oh this is very interesting."_ )

The Dragon Soul was very reluctant to turn itself around. As it finally convinced itself to do so, I noticed that the distinctive frame was softer and smoother than most of the dragons we have encountered so far. I couldn't place it.

( _"Looks more like a Jen Dovah to me... more so that I can see it's shape."_ )

An Amethyst Dragon? Hmmm...makes sense...

It's face was less pronounced. And less fierce. In fact, as it finally got around to look at us, every in it's ethereal form it just looked sad. But I instantly felt a connection to it. It wasn't hostile...and it was in great pain but unable to do anything about it. Durnehviir must've been protecting it. But still, the soul to me...just...was familiar. It certainly looked at me funnily. Eyes...must have been wide open. Somehow I knew that look...and Ayisha did too...Ayisha's eyes were locked onto the dragon and was busy contemplating what to do.

"You're here...why?" It asked us. The tone of such sorrow...was a tone that my ears have heard once before.

"I...I didn't..."

It covered it's head with it's wings. Never witnessed anything like this from a dragon before.

"Young dov, do not fear..." Durnehviir told her.

( _"Do not fear...do not fear. Brynjolf. The signs are pretty obvious by now. Don't be blinded by the souls form before you. The spirit left in such a state, that the terminology you use makes sense now."_ )

Wait...what...no, you're kidding me...

I walked up to the dragon and squatted before it.

"Listen to me...let me see your face..." I asked, gently.

"NO!" It shouted, nearly catching me off guard.

I couldn't technically grab it's claws and drag them away.

"Please...I'm not here to hurt you. I want to know..." I pleaded.

I could hear it sobbing. Everything was...like you said, obvious. There was only one undeniable truth. But I had to be sure...just to see it for myself...properly so I had to inspect it. To see, to see whether or not this what I was truly observing.

Slowly, but surely, the dragon moved it's claws and wings off it's face. A dragons' expression is only so varied but even then, there were always to minor tell-tale signs that give it away.

" _Petra..._ " I whispered.

Her head dropped as she wept. It was unmistakable.

"You don't need...you don't need to see me... like this Bryn." She whimpered.

Ayisha ran forward and stood next to me.

"Mama!" She cried. She tried touching her face, but jolted back when she felt nothing but cold.

"I'm so sorry, Ayisha...Mama can't be with you..." Petra told her with utmost despair.

My heart was feeling it as well...so twisted and churned and my stomach boring the pit again. She was here...she still existed and we had a way to bring her back to Skyrim...but in this state...I wasn't so sure.

"Hmmm...I hadn't seen a case like this before. Your form. A Jen Dov..." Durnehviir muttered.

"What do you mean?" Mother asked, as she stood there watching on with a smile on her face that turned to curiosity.

"The one you call Petra...she was...mortal. Ah...okay. You've ended up in the Soul Cairn haven't you Dovahkiin? That's why you wouldn't tell me anything earlier..." He stated.

I glared at the dragon of muck with contempt.

"Girl's been traumatised beyond all reason and you're interrogating her?" I called out.

"I only was curious as to why a dovah's soul has come here. But now I see...hmmmm...I have heard from many other souls about the Dovahkiin throughout the ages...how the first one took succeeded in winning the Dragon War and the others that had taken over Tamriel as Emperor. But you...hm..." He summarized. An answer I was with unhappy with.

Petra was so scared of herself right now. In this form, you can say she became the very thing she hated and feared. Irony was a cruel mistress.

"I don't know what to do Brynjolf. I can't...I can't go defeating Alduin like this? I'm...I'm stuck here." She called out.

It was interesting to point she still wanted to fulfill her destiny. I will make sure she still does.

"No lass." I said. "We have a way of getting you out. We just need to..."

"For goodness sake, when will you learn to stay out of the way? Brynjolf? Nemetona? Goodness gracious the whole family is here!"

"Prolg..." My mother spoke with venom, as father appeared.

Thankfully, I think we all just wanted to take revenge.


	61. Echoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf deals with his father who's still around causing trouble.

 

It's hard to believe that most of this was even happening. The amount of times Petra goes back into her shell, still afraid of what she was capable of. Even in dragon form, where you assumed that you'd be the most strong. But I think, that as she was, that perhaps you would think that the Realm-Walker saying she was right in being Doom Driven. Despite that, the lass has provided us with a means to get Petra back.

I wanted her so badly not to be afraid. It was okay for her to be, but not right now. She has the strength I know it.

( _"I know it as well."_ )

I don't care what form she is in, as long as she's herself. But as she was in this state, in this form it harder to see. But...my heart knows her as Petra and my love for her hasn't waned in the slightest. The woman that I have known all this time, is definitely right in front of me. I still want her, I still need her. And I will get her back. And father wasn't going to stop me.

He was boasting, he was ranting and raving. He reminded me of Mercer, the bastard. He had the same smug look on his face, the same twisted expression. It wrenched me inside. But...Petra had the uncanny ability to make friends...somehow. Durnehviir had accepted her and he's a dragon. Goodness knows what happened when she found out. And...I think she saw Mercer in my father as well...the same greed, the same pride. It would all be too much for her. Which made me hate my father even more.

The anger felt the same as on that day in Irkngthand. My fathers treachery was familiar to us as was Petra's situation. It was strange, history repeating itself. But only that I wanted to take him down as he had caused us all so much pain, particularly Petra. And no one, not even my father, was going to get away with what he did to my lass.

 _My_  Petra.

Ayisha even hissed, with mother glaring at him all the same, holding the young khajiit back. All of us, and even Petra, were almost consumed with the equal amounts of a lustful hatred as the man who once was my father, stood there, taunting us.

Prolg was never my father. You must see that Priest.

( _"I understand that Brynjolf. Petra made me see my ways. However, I am not indebted to Prolg himself, as he is a member of the Cult. Be wary though, I sense a foulness in the air. A clever magic cast around. I would exercise extreme caution._ ")

Aye, I'll keep that in mind. But what ever he planned, you could be sure it would never ever be good.

"So here we are, as a family again. Isn't it beautiful? All of us, here together for the first time in many years. Shame though you can't see the glories that the Cult will bring back to Skyrim. This has been longing for many eras. Brynjolf...I'm disappointed that you won't be joining us." He said.

I sneered at him. How dare he.

"You ruined my life old man. You murdered Petra. What makes you think you're going to get out of this alive?" I threatened.

He chuckled. Ugh...the nerve of him. Awful. Just awful.

"Son, all I wanted was peace. Peace like it was before the Dragon Wars' started. I aimed to claim Petra's soul for Lord Alduin, but it seems she's...quite the interesting spirit. I love the irony!" He responded. His words scratched into my brain, annoying me.

Petra growled at him. Even in spirit form, you could sense her ire towards him. Good. I just didn't want her falling into the state she did before.

"Peace my ass! The Dragons have caused us nothing but misery! No offence..." She said.

"None taken." Durnehviir replied. Some parties are allowed exclusion.

"No...it was the Dovahkiin who ruined our lives! Caused the ancestors to revolt against their masters with their betrayals. Nothing brings me more joy than to resurrect the old groups again." He balked.

I turned to look around, black skeletons forming all around him. What was this? I turned to Durnehviir.

"This isn't me. But I feel like I-" He said, confused.

The Dragon suddenly disappeared into the void without much warning. Shit!

I looked at Petra, who seemed worried about him.

"Durnehviir!" She cried.

I looked back at Prolg and gritted my teeth.

(" _Darkness perverts this place more so...I suspect a more powerful magic behind this!_ ")

Mother put her foot forward. She had enough, with the heat in her eyes baring all.

"Prolg stop this right now!" She called out.

"The Dragons couldn't care less about your wasted sack of flesh!"

He smirked. I loathed him doing that. I fell like every inch of my body was bleeding with contempt.

"Ah but that's where you're wrong. You see, like Zokotinhaar, I approached Alduin and pledged my services to him. He wanted to bring back his favoured child. I informed quickly how that became impossible and he's now made me his head Dragon Priest. I've already made plans to rebuild the island completely...and start off our campaign properly."

( _No..._ )

Mother shook her head.

"You're...nothing but a monster! A foul stain!" She called out.

I felt myself being trapped by shadowy tendrils, wrapping themselves around me. I struggled to break free, seeing my legs being grabbed by shadowy hands. I looked to see Ayisha and mother doing the same, being weighed down by the darkness around us.

"The Ideal Masters...don't you know they were once part of the cult? They were once mortal? They've allowed me free reign here. Immune to their hunger." He claimed.

( _"Don't look at me, I never knew about this."_ )

How could you not know this? Seriously?

 _("Part of the reason that clouded my mind with doubt regarding the Cult was that even as leader supposedly, I wasn't getting any reports of much else. I feel like, with what Petra told me, is that I'm a figurehead. Always was. But now I aim for vengeance. Perhaps that Vosthadim was right to kill me. But going from everything else he's told me, I don't think he's telling the truth."_ )

We won't know more until we find out. Right now, Prolg was wielding an extraordinary and terrible power in his grasp. His eyes cast with the shadow magics that enveloped him. His spirit, burning with a poisonous aura. What was this? What has Prolg done now? Was he being serious? Or was he talking nonsense to scare us?

I grunted as I shifted and pulled to break free. No...he can't do this. I could see the skeletons with swords and shields coming closer. No...this cannot be. I looked at Petra, who was screaming at herself being pulled. She wasn't used to this yet...no...we have to...we can't give up.

( _"Do you sense that Brynjolf? I detect a darker figure heading towards us nearby..."_ )

Now that you mention it, I can...and in that next moment, all we could see was black...

* * *

I was awake, conscious, but unable to see anything. I wasn't in pain, nor could I see Petra, Ayisha or mother anywhere. Where were we?

( _"I do not know. I do not like it."_ )

Neither do I lad. We're stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no place else to go.

I walked around, trying to find my sense of self. It felt cold, but with no wind or anything else to go by. Without light to guide us, we could be anywhere. And Prolg held all that power, that magic that would be deemed impossible to cast. He will pay.

I heard the roar of a dragon nearby. That had to be Petra.

"Petra! Is that you?" I shouted.

No response. No...this  _isn't_  fair. I was sick of them toying with her. Toying with us. There was no end to her torment.

"Petra!"

My heart was beating fast and I was losing breath.

( _"Brynjolf keep it together. This place...this...area looks familiar. I know because there was something similar in Skyrim...back on Fellnir...but nothing of this scale. If I had known what the Ideal Masters were...I would have told you. Krosis."_ )

I'll try lad, I'll try. Don't stress over something that's not your fault.

( _"Heh...try to follow your own advice..."_ )

Don't tell me what to do.

( _"I am stuck in your head...my spirit is lost as well. I do not wish to die again, so I can only help you. Now, you want to find the others? That should become your goal. There was an old saying amongst us Priests...Saar los fod hi nid lingrahiik lost suleyk wah kiird. Translates into Loss is only when you have no longer have the power to play."_ )

I'd wager that no power means you're dead?

( _"If you put it that way then yes. We're both still alive...or you at least. Both of us use the shadows to our benefit. Why would it turn it's back on us now?"_ )

You're telling me to use my abilities as a Nightingale?

(We're both stuck in this Nahgriinos brother, we're here together. You are a strong willed person, I just happen to be stronger.)

I'm a thief, not a priest like you. I have stronger patience. All I want to do is find Petra and the others and get out of here.

( _"Then you know your goal then. But you must hurry. You may have patience, but I believe we're not alone here. And I am not talking about the others..."_ )

Then what is it then lad? What's inside with us?

( _"We're about to find out..."_ )

I heard whispers again, worse and more garble than those in the cracks in the barren earth we had seen out in the Soul Cairn so far. I tried to keep quiet enough...but the whispers themselves were distant...then close...

_Brynjolf..._

_Brynjolf..._

Okay because that isn't creepy...not at all.

( _"Playing tricks on you...just keep walking..."_ )

I wandered around, blinded by this shroud of hopelessness. I was pretty much blundering in the dark. I seem to use those words quite a bit. What word do you use?

( _"If you're expecting dragon language then you would use vul."_ )

That's a stupid word. I'll keep using dark then.

( _"I fail to care what you use. Just keep your eyes open."_ )

If Zoklotinhaar wasn't in my head, the quietness that just came out of nowhere would be more deafening in all amounts of the contradiction that caused. I suspect it would drive normal men mad. But after all the nonsense that's happened as of late, I highly doubt I was ever normal.

( _"No one ever is."_ )

But when your heart is like mine, it's been hardened over the years by natural occurrences. There's no use pining over lost causes. But when the causes can be saved..even so...there's always doubt when you never needed it. It's worse when love is involved. It makes you do the silliest things and cling on to the most outrageous of beliefs. But it's worth it...worth spending time with those you care about.

_This better not be another waste of the Guild's resources Brynjolf..._

Mercer?

( _"It's fake. Something is very wrong here. Keep your guard up."_ )

Still can't see a damn thing.

_You're not saying this out of pity are you?_

My head must have been turning left and right. Purely out of instinct of course. But...that was Petra...I know...I...remember.

( _"It's more in your head than me...don't listen to any of it. Listen to me."_ )

No you're right. What ever's down in here is definitely trying to mess with my head. I won't let that happen.

_Did we actually manage to damage Bryn's pride?_

That voice. Unmistakably Vex's.

( _"Push through it."_ )

What ever it was it's definitely taken a look into my memories...forcing me to to reminisce.

_Petra's dead._

That was Mercer...after they'd come back from Snow Veil Sanctum. Shor's beard not that...anything but that.

( _"Drawing on the worse memories and nostalgia factor. Ignore it."_ )

I want to...but...it's bringing up all those buried emotions. Bryn, you are a stronger lad than this. You're not going to let it over come you.

_I love you too..._

( _"Okay now it's just getting on borderline ridiculous. Brynjolf...I want you to see get this guy to show himself..."_ )

Petra...but yeah, duly noted there Priest. I drew out my blade once more. Enough was enough.

"Show yourself!" I called out.

My voice seemed to echo quite a bit. I heard it relay several times, suggesting where ever I was, was somewhat caged. How caged, I don't know. But I have been walking around for a while, without any light or indication of progress.

Although I did finally see something. A torch on a wall lit up to my left...a soul left stranded there. I approached it, trying to figure out where we were and where it all was. I had enough of this Labyrinth of nothingness. I had to find Petra and the others...

The soul itself had it's back to me, wearing Thieves Guild gear...it turned around to face me. Gods...that's not...

"Mercer?" I muttered, almost stunned.

"Brynjolf you insatiable dog. You and I had a thing going...we were buddies. You dragged your little dragon friend into it. Now I'm stuck here."

( _"This isn't a soul Brynjolf. It's a replica. I have seen these before. Wraiths like these like to take form of echoes. It's probably the source of the whispers. Destroy it."_ )

Lucky for me, I'm inclined to hate Mercer.

( _"But...you knew him personally. He was the one who brought you into the Guild wasn't he? You're still having doubts I see."_.)

No...I'm pretty sure I hate him

( _"If you insist...destroy him."_ )

I shook my head and readied my blade. Get your head out of the clouds Brynjolf you daft lad...you know you're better than this. The soul itself...taken Mercer's form screamed at me, jaw unrealistically long as it did. Almost more deafening than the previous silence.

I was fierce in my battle with it, clashing with it's blade that seemed to take shape and a physicality with it? Who knew.

( _"The Soul Cairn is forever a strange place that raises more questions than answers."_ )

Aye, I don't doubt that. I do miss the simple life of the Guild sometimes. I think I've had enough adventure to last me a lifetime.

( _"Think about that after we deal with Prolg and what ever else stands in our way."_ )

I know, I know...I never thought it was this mentally exhausting.

( _"That's his plan. The Cult had it's own type of warfare based on the mind. Perhaps the Soul Cairn and the Ideal Masters were once a part of that. I honestly don't know. But the more I think about it, then maybe Paarthurnax was right after all."_ )

I struggled to fight with this replica. Gods, he was strong. I clashed, slashed, made all the moves, but he wasn't backing down. Spirits tend to be rather unlimited in the stamina side of it.

I then witnessed another spirit nearby. It looked like Petra...but...

( _"It's there to trick you as well. Banshees are the female versions of the wraiths here. They transform into the female souls. These haven't been seen since the Dragon War. Prolg must have released something huge. And it's in the middle of this cursed place. Besides, Petra's a ghost of the dovah. Don't treat this one like it's her. They're all Echoes."_ )

Got it.

I know it's a struggle of the era when you're fighting against fake shades of your former friend and Guildmaster and another that takes the shape of the lass you love. I kept it together for the sake of the others, knowing I will find them. And by telling myself that I knew, it kept my hope alive.

Neither of them meant anything to me rather just foes I had to slay.

But...then more and more of them came into the room I was in, taking different forms of people I knew. The lot that just came in were actually the entire guild! Believe it or not, including Karliah...

( _"This is typical of these replicas. Supposed to be the ultimate torment. Keep doing what you're doing...I'll try and see whether or not I can figure out anything. I'll be back."_ )

* * *

Great. Anyway, I blocked several blows and dodged like the Nightingale I had become prior. I was kind of glad I made that deal. I wasn't all keen on it. It grew on me in time. Pretty nifty, I might add. I knew none of these were real or even a fragment of the people I knew who were alive and outside the conduit. These were nothing but insults that needed to taken down a peg or two. But I was not going to back down now.

"Brynjolf!"

I heard mother yell from a distance. Good to hear a voice that wasn't outright there to torment me or was in my head...good he didn't hear that. Her tone was much more pleasant sounding and was natural than the whispers. I just know these things. I saw her as well, standing there. She charged into the fray with me, casting shock spells at the creatures. Never realized how into magic she was...only because I wasn't aware. Though her fortune telling should have been a big give away.

"Aye! Still here!" I called out, taking down a banshee that looked like Sapphire.

"There's a good lad. Let's get this show on the road then! Kyaaa!"

Mother proved herself to be a fearsome warrior. I'd never known her to be savvy in her skills as a mage, a mystic even. Still...we worked well together. I was even proud to be her son. Several tiring minutes later, we'd defeated the Echoes and silence returned to use once more. We stood near the only light source that I'd seen in some time and talked about what to do next.

"We're still in the Soul Cairn. Zoklotinhaar is trying to find out what we should do next. Hasn't got back to me about it though." I told her.

Mother nodded.

"Yes. This place has a dreaded air to it. Very fresh and yet very old. The Archives describe this place as a type of Subrealm meant to torment souls, as well as keep the old daedra within it. The Ideal Masters have kept this place well hidden from the souls around. I guess what ever Prolg did allowed them to send us here." She said.

One thing still bothered me.

"Is it true that the Ideal Masters were part of the Cult? I wasn't sure what he meant by that." I wondered.

Mother seemed bothered by it as well.

"Records do indicate that they were once mortal kind. If they were part of the Cult, they were certainly well hidden. Alduin may have had hidden forces scattered across Skyrim. Which meant that even his most beloved Priest may not even be his most beloved after all. Zoklotinhaar's details weren't even kept on record on any other normal means. I think there may have been a greater cause for that. Keeping him secret." She answered.

( _"I wouldn't have a clue. Sorry, I'm back...what did I miss?"_ )

Not much. Just discussing about the Ideal Masters again. And why you were kept secret from everyone else.

( _"Oh that. Don't ask. I have no idea either. I may have begun to doubt Alduin at one point. But I guess the only way to find out is to speak with Alduin, where ever he may be."_ )

I sighed...great. Another mystery to solve.

"Have you seen Ayisha or Petra anywhere?" I asked mother.

She shook her head.

"No...haven't seen either of the girls. I did hear a few dragon roars earlier. I wasn't sure whether it was Petra or this place just making the strange noises."

Please Petra be safe. I know you're a ghost...but I can't help it but think about you.

( _"I'm aware of that."_ )

You stay out of it.

( _"The sooner I'm out of your head the better."_ )

Thankfully, I hope that would be very soon.

 


	62. Otherworldly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra attempts to bounce back from her demise, but getting used to her new form takes effort.

 

I feel cold...and alone again.

I fell into this world as what I was...and not how I could be.

I fell into despair and shame...and the darkness that had followed.

I was found by Durnehviir, the odd green dragon of murk. Like Paarthurnax, he was not hostile, but peculiar to why I had to come to this realm. It wouldn't have been my first choice of course.

But...as I discovered myself, my real self, I was horrified. But I couldn't do much else. I couldn't touch much else. I wouldn't be able to touch Brynjolf again.

I hid myself from the world from the other souls who feared me. I would never want to hurt them, but, to them, I was nothing but a monster. I'm...I'm not a monster...I'm just...I don't...Gods...help me...

No...Petra you have to do this yourself!

And when I saw...when I saw Brynjolf for that split moment I was worried he'd been sent down here two and I...was angry. Then there was Ayisha and Nemetona. They were down here too. I had thought I had failed. But Brynjolf assured me...he assured me that he was here to save me. Somehow. Don't know how but he was there.

I'm in a big drip of mordancy. I am what I hate and I fear and not what I expected. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It was sad...very sad. What happened to my courage against all the others? What happened to the massive amount of strength I had gathered during my combat with the cluster of dragons sent against me? I wanted that power again, the power to believe. But each time I did, it would just collapse on me again. I was so sick of that happening.

When Prolg showed up and cast what ever crap he did, proclaiming the Ideal Masters allegiance to the Cult, I could scarcely believe it. And he shoved us all to nowhere. I need that fury again from my very spirit. I needed to draw upon it more often to know where to go, where to lead. To save the others and build myself upon the destiny I was created to do.

I was cast against a wall, with magical chains of violet and white that wrapped themselves around my wings, my neck, my tail...of all things...and my legs. You know as a Dragon it is very, very awkward. Even as a ghost, it gets just plain..strange as all. Otherworldly as permanently ethereal...

What it ever it contained it just...what it was...I really don't know how to describe it better.

But the Soul Cairn is a dreary place. And you can't get out of it. I applaud Bryn in trying to make me feel better, but I know it's just not going to work...and I was...I...

I love Brynjolf. I wanted to hold him...and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to go on more adventures and see the world with him. But...I'm dead...there's not much I can do.  
But thoughts of Bryn kept me sane. They had for some time. What did I do to deserve a man like him? I've treated the man like shit. But he's such an enigma. He's more heroic than I. He continues to fascinate me about his endurance. Being possessed, to have his very life taken over by another, but still returning unscathed. Or maybe he's not telling me something. I know there has be a part of him that gnaws away. On the surface he's fine. His fortitude is godlike. But as I saw him crying...it was the first time I saw him experience true pain.

Recalling that now and not when I had succumbed to my Dragonself made me realize that he was in complete agony. I'm really selfish...I only cared about myself. That isn't love. It's cruelty.

He doesn't reveal himself to me. I know he hides so much. He says he loves me and I him, but I have a feeling he still doesn't trust me. After my display with the slaughter of the dovah, even I don't trust me.

I bided my time by myself, unknowingly. Alone...in the darkness chained to the wall. The only thing worse than being a ghost was one being chained up and unable to move. The ultimate torture.

Don't ask me anymore questions on how I feel because...with all the anger and sadness...everything eventually descends to a hollowness if left to linger long enough on your own. It changes you...you are nothing but your own mind wandering in the desolate plains, living in constant fear of the unknown.

At least as Vampire I could have done something. I was able to do things, contribute. Here, forget about it. I don't know what I could do...where I could go. Paarthurnax...mother...father...Brynjolf...Ayisha...Karliah...Vex...Delvin...Tonilia...man I miss you guys so much...

"Little Petra!"

I looked up...seeing Prolg is his nastiness and pride. I wanted to spit fire in his eyes and watch him squirm. I welcomed the energy the bile brought.

"I assume you have me chained up against the wall for a reason." I snarked.

Again with the smugness!

"I needed the others to back off. You're an interesting case here. I've spoken with Alduin, and discussed what he wanted with you. He wasn't happy about Zoklotinhaars failures. But he's told me to make alternate arrangements with your soul. He's prepared to consume it for himself." He announced, albeit unceremoniously.

You've got to be kidding me.

"He's welcome to try." I taunted, roaring in his face.

He laughed instead. I'll do anything for chance to kill Alduin. But Prolg...oh the amount of torture he'll get...

"This is how it is meant to be, after all these years. With you gone, we'll finally have peace!" He boasted.

The nerve...

"I convinced Zoklotinhaar with the argument, that Alduin really doesn't care about mortals. I would believe you're most insane to take any of that in. The promise of power..." I called out.

He approached me his hands behind his back. Definitely up to no good controversies I'm sure.

"Alduin gave me more power. You see..." He said.

I was almost blinded by the sheer power that he'd changed himself into. He was wearing some strange armour...the colouring looked, familiar.

"This is dragonscale armour with enchantments you'll never find elsewhere. Do you miss the feeling of bones Petra?"

I snorted. His words meant nothing.

"Bah...I'm more dragon than you'll ever be. You know it would end badly. I can tell." I told him with the honesty baring before him.

"Maybe the roles should be reversed? You know, for a change. I play the dragon hunter and you be the dragon assaulting. Role reversals are fun." He stated;

No. Just no Prolg. You sad, strange little man. Just die already.

"I'm not playing any games with you. I'd rather kill you and get this over and done with." I continued as I bit back.

It was going to be back and forth with the escalating threats wasn't it?

"Wonderful. Except I won't. I don't want to toy with you just yet. There are quite a few perks with being friends with the people in this realm. A lot like your Guild. You build a lot of connections and so forth. My son was an expert in that. But you, heard you managed to get the majority of Skyrim underneath, your...uh claw...so to speak." He teased.

Very funny. Note the sarcasm.

"Oh look. A jester..he's so funny. Hahaha.." I spoke with a monotone and groan in my voice.

"I once considered being a bard myself, but...being a Priest of Talos allowed me to get better insight into the Dragonborn mythology. There have been many Dragonborn, but you're the only one to use the real power. But the first Dragonborn...the traitor who basically set the war off...he had fled to Solstheim believe it or not. Coward. A Priest like the rest of us. But we took him down eventually." He claimed.

Somehow I didn't feel like that was the case...but anyway. Prolg liked to play pretend in his own reality.

"Hey, I don't give a shit about that...wait, what are you..." I said as he shuffled about.

He'd pulled out something from his pouch. A necklace?

"You're considered a melting pot of mystical powers from the Gods. Life from Arkay, Dragonblood from Akatosh, Beauty from Dibella, Birth from Kynareth, Hard work from Zenithar, love from Mara, magic from Julianos...divine relation to Talos himself by being a potential successor. Although that is argued from my son being, you know, able to claim throne for himself. Stendarr was a bit a tricky case...since you know, you're a thief and in liege with Nocturnal...but I'd wager Stendarr would still support you irregardless. No...Alduin...wants to fight you. Wear this Amulet of Akatosh. For if you were the favoured child of the Dragon God of Time, he wants to fight you on equal grounds..." He announced.

I had no idea what he was on about. But he then hesitated, putting the amulet away.

"Although, I'm wondering how it would actually turn out. See if you have Stendarrs real favour, then you'd be the one...hmm...let me see..."

What was he muttering about now? He walked over to a case nearby. Long, made of gold. He opened it, revealing a long golden tube thing. I sensed it's power, great and unknown. But...it had such a magnified power to it. It was incredible even just staring at it. He brought it out and showed it to me? Such...energy. What...what was it?

"Petra, I think there's a newly written tale in here. No one knows how it actually got here. They call it the Elder Scroll."

I blinked. What? An actual...Elder Scroll? What? No! The energies...for some reason, I knew they were tethered from time but...

"I had a Moth Priest read this out to me in Cyrodiil. I told him I had to keep the scroll for noble purposes. He had a go at me...I had him murdered. Simple as that."

That blunt huh? Or more bullshit would be more likely...

"The scroll contradicted the legends of the Dragonborn foretold elsewhere. I wasn't quite...quite sure what to make of it you know...you see, Elder Scrolls are the most fascinating and wondrous creations...because absolutely nobody knows who, or where they come from. But for people like you, can be uharmed by them. But this one...the dragons fear it. There is another in Skyrim, in the depths somewhere according to some crazy old mage. "

I wanted to make a target out of that bald head of his and spit ice at it. That would do him good. Or impale him through his skull with the end of my tail if it was solid, just to hear the crunch and see the blood spill everywhere.

"Something...must have changed in the timestream, after Alduin had been sent across it. No one accurately predicted it ...not really. My wife happened to mention it in one of her spells. So I made the trip there to claim it and see it for myself. Now...I happen to see...times have definitely changed. For better? For worse? Who knows! I'm anticipating a greater future for all of us!"

Yawn...give me something else. Your worship bores me.

"The one thing that blocks it though, is your ties to Nocturnal. If you did that, then you would definitely...perhaps that's what the scroll can be used for..."

I started counting for no reason what so ever as Prolg began talking to himself. I was up to 108 so far in the depths of his constant muttering and nonsense.

"I can...break your connection to Nocturnal with the scroll. And use...it to ascend you. Hmmm..."

I lifted my head...that got my attention.

"Ascend me?" I repeated.

He nodded and smiled.

"Yes...that's what Alduin wants me to do. By denouncing your oath to Nocturnal then I can proceed with the ritual. Oh...yes...yes I can do that. This is what he's been waiting for." He said in a prideful boast.

I was not amused.

"No...don't think I'll be doing that. If it helps your plans, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnn...no." I told him outright.

He rose an eyebrow me. Superior pose everyone...ugh...

"Deny it all you like Petra...it will happen. We'll make it happen eventually. Till then. I will allow you to think about it...because it will only get worse from here. Farewell and give my regards to my wife and son if you see them still alive out there."

He disappeared with all the items left behind. Ascend? What did he mean?

* * *

No matter. I was stuck here...alone again, tied to this wall. I sighed. Prolg...you...insufferable asshole. You will die...I swear it.

I  _swear_ it...I'll  _pummel_  you into the ground, I'll  _rip your head off_  and I will  _destroy you_ and...

Something dark was near. Darker than I had expected. And the muttering...in another language I detected. Couldn't work it out. It was cold when my spirit was numb. This...was unnatural. I am spirit without force. Not much I could do. I looked down...seeing the necklace on the ground. Prolg must have dropped it. But I felt the course of the flow of my spirit-fathers energies. The chain was longer than normal, to accommodate for my obviously bigger neck. I wondered, if it was part of Prolg's ploy...hm...

For now I would tend to myself and think. An Elder Scroll. Least likely thing here. It's power, undeniable. I was lucky my ties to Nocturnal would protect me. Her luck, guides me. I'd rather be in the Evergloam protecting my fellow thieves if none else, than be in the mess. Those times were much simpler, I reckon.

I heard a bit of scuffling and lifted my head. I squinted as...I saw a familiar face find it's way into this desolate and dark place in the middle of nowhere.

"Ayisha!" I muttered.

She looked up at me and smiled. Good.

"Mama!" She called out.

"Mama, what are you doing up there?"

I wasn't going to get technical. To anyone else, you'd most likely scream and run away of the sight of myself here and begging to be let go. The craziness never ends.

"Uh...kinda got stuck. Dunno if you can help me get down at all. We'll need to find papa and papas mother. They still gotta be around here somewhere." I told.

Ayisha gulped.

"Ayisha knows they're still around...wandering in the shadows. Though, something won't allow us to leave. It ties us to this place until it's defeated." She answered.

Always a damn catch. Well...I suppose there's no use sitting around...the amulet...hmmm...its power was strange and strong enough to sense from here. What were you up to Prolg?

"Ayisha, see that amulet of Akatosh there? Can you tell me if there's something strange about? I'm aware of it's usual enchantment. But I need to know if you can sense anything else to it?" I asked her.

The young khajiit rubbed her chin. She's such an talented and intelligent young mage. She'll be of more use at the College of Winterhold if anything else.

"There...is a stronger enchantment to it. A bit different...but otherwise same. Mama need it?" She replied.

Prolg had cut off his explanation regarding that type of amulet for me to wear. Too caught up in his own stupid ideas. I can't wait to tear him a new one...but if I suspected it would do what I thought it would...he said the ritual can't be done unless...unless I cut off my ties with Nocturnal. I'll have to give it a thought. But like Ayisha mentioned, there is an anomalous power from it. I had to try at least.

"Ayisha are you to able to place that on mama's neck?" I asked her.

She nodded. I hope I won't regret this.

"Sure. Ayisha be glad to.."

Damn this was getting too weird. Was anyone seeing this coming? I sure didn't. What was a simple rescue mission just got a whole lot stranger. I just wished I would just got stabbed and that was it. No dying or being sent to the Soul Cairn then get lambasted with an infodump about something about Gods and other crap. I miss doing Guild work.

Ayisha impressively bounced from chain to chain and rested on my neck. She helped to put over my neck and ears. How she was actually staying there on my neck slash back, I accustomed that to Khajiit or Mane or what ever magic she likes to use. Most magic things from Ayisha are endless, but you get used to it anyway.

I shook my head to let it slide down. Ayisha jumped off and stood below me as she lifted her head.

I felt an energy surge through me. Of all things. Prolg better not be playing tricks with me. I swear if this is doing what he wanted and he lied (like I suspected), I was going to kick his ass.

Instinct told me to trust it and I somehow still felt like I was with the shadows...somehow. Dragon's intuition, call it that.

But...I felt the cold naturally. The emptiness from within was filled and now...I felt. Alive and empowered and natural...sort of.

The look on Ayisha's face filled a warmth from within from her smile.

"Mama alive! Yes. Amulet of Akatosh worked!" She cried.

Must be a secondary thing. Or being a spirit-daughter probably helped out. Pff...Has this ever been done before? Eh... It's much better than being undead, but I may still be. Flesh surrounded my immortal spirit. I looked at my wings, seeing shining purple scales. Huh...An Amethyst Dragon. Neat. I had more strength to break free and smashed the chains to pieces. I fell to the ground and shouted into the air. I like the effect it gives. Makes you feel pretty...pretty powerful.

But you couldn't call me Dragonborn anymore...

Call me a legitimate Dragon. I think. I don't know. I feel indifferent but nothing extremely dramatic. There were senses were just bolstered a hundred fold. I was connected to dozens of sources and was shielded by awesome scales.

"Mama looks pretty!" Ayisha commented happily.

I smiled. We both were in the shadows together, safer, together.

"Climb on mama's back. Let's go find Papa and Grandmama!" I told her.

She clapped her hands and giggled. I let down my neck...man, dunno if I'll ever get used to that. Anyway, she got up there and held on tightly. I think she'll have more fun with this than I ever will. But you know, I am never still a hundred percent sure on dragons. Even if I am just one for the time being. I'm pissed off at Prolg still and really want to decimate him greatly, I'm...surprisingly okay with it. Like it was natural. Hmm...more to think about.

I flew up into the air.

Uh...thank Akatosh for this?


	63. Mother and Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf (with Zoklot) and his mother talk about current events, philosophy and a little thing called love.

 

It's been a while since we'd managed to get this far. Mother and I. The realm that called us to it, inevitably, would try and torment us. You know how it likes to do that sort of thing.

I had gotten used to the darkness mostly, apathetic to it's apparent ploys. I'm not gonna kick any time soon either. But the whole ordeal suggests that I'm kind of used to it by now. Although with mother here, it was a strange situation. I wanted to ask so many questions, but had no idea what to ask first.

I've not been entirely truthful with Petra. I wasn't confident with letting her know my true past.

Back when I was a young lad, we used to live at Shor's Stone. Yeah, not exactly homely but we managed. But I was left alone with the other miners a lot, while mother and father were always out. You get your work cut out for you, hacking away at resources so I learned the trade at an early age. That's when none of them were tending to their obsessions of course. Mother would be isolated one moment, then you would see her just...out. Not a word from her. She just got up and left. Me...alone.

No need to feel sorry for me. I was glad. Dad wasn't pestering me about Talos this and Talos that and I got along with the miners. Peaceful. Simple. But I never saw my parents together. Not for a long time.

I was working away in the mine, well, they often wouldn't let me pick for ore, so they got me doing the run arounds. Getting water, doing errands. I came out, and father out of the blank told me mother had died. I knew she was sick, but she would recover. Some days she was fine, but others, she would just have the worst fever.

The woman walking beside me was not the skin and bones I once took her for. She strode along with total pride and I had a hard time believing it was her. Maybe it's just me, who took care of her when she was at her worst. I never really understood her nonsense but I listened to her because no one else did.

He wouldn't allow me to see her body, instead telling me that he buried her. I got suspicious, but didn't have the guts to question it. I was young and naïve and now that it's all been shown to me, I was ill-nerved and outright...puzzled.

Mother was more loving that she was normally, I suppose. I never really had the normal mother-son experience. You can say that about my relationship with Prolg. Perhaps I got along with Mercer so well because the two of them were very much a like, except Mercer knew what I wanted, but in the end, the two of them were just insane assholes.

I don't know whether I should be sad or happy that she's here with me. I don't know what our relationship was supposed to be like. What was I supposed to say? I had tended to her as her carer and now she's suddenly fine. Just felt like she was brought back from the dead.

It just felt wrong, you know.

When I joined the guild, Mercer became my mentor. He taught me how to be a thief and explained the difference between what it meant being in the guild and not a common bandit. We got along well, to which his betrayal hurt me the most. Although, from what Petra told me about her...shared moments with him, I can't tell who was worse off.

Trust is hard to come by, even as a member of the Guild. But you have to hone your instinct and trust your gut. Mercer was deceptive, as was Prolg. I didn't want to believe the story until Petra stated what had occurred between him and her. It's the kind of treachery you never expect from the one you would call friend.

Mother was such a contrast to what she once was. To think of what she is now...I would have never have guessed. I wanted to make up for the time we lost, but too much has gone passed to consider mending any broken bridges. I made up my wall and got over it. You may think that I'm ungrateful but...when mother has more secrets than you do. You have to consider what was actually going on and were her priorities straight when she first took the offer of Loremaster?

I loved the woman who would smile at me as I left the house. I loved the woman who would tell me that I would meet a beautiful girl one day and have several children. And I believed her.

I couldn't get the image out of my head of the woman beside me having changed so much, that it was difficult to determine her role. Did she love me as her son? Or was I some pawn in Nocturnal's game?

"I have to ask you something..." I told her. I had to know.

"Did Nocturnal...plan for me to take up her offer?"

Mother looked at me, offended even. She had to anticipate my questions, surely.

"I wasn't surprised you were drawn to be a Nightingale Bryn. Our ancestors have been Nightingales since Zoklotinhaar. I actually wanted to marry Gallus myself as I was sharing my knowledge with him, but he fell in love with Karliah instead...my own cousin. Would you believe it?"

I wouldn't have thought twice about being related to the current Guildmaster. Thought propped into my head a few times.

"We both have a fire in our blood and the tendency for darkness. My father, your grandfather was a good man who's race's perversion for bad luck hit him hard. I suppose love nowadays is just as much a battle as it is between those with just as much pride in their hearts."

Oh Shor...she wasn't...she wasn't going to talk about me and the lass was she?

"But you and Petra have more in common than you both may think otherwise. Connections to the dragonblood notwithstanding. Her position as Dragonborn was actually a wise thing to do."

I browed. I would agree to her on one front, but the other?

"Why would that be? She's a thief, she never desired to lead that type of life. I told her, from my understanding, is that they chose her because they knew she would make the kind of decision eventually to do the right thing and become was she just born to do. She had my full confidence, but I can't help but think if the world turned it's back on her, if she's actually susceptible to failure." I said.

Mother smiled. Something like this had to have cropped up in her visions.

"You're right. The Gods make those sorts of decisions all the time. But even with the uncertainty, the anonymity of her position makes it viable to protect herself and develop a protective response." She stated.

I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Yeah...she...she never had a fun time with the dragons. She was outright frightened of them. She's stuck as one now. I can't imagine what she must be feeling."

"Neither can I." Mother stated.

"But no one would have guessed otherwise. You can't track every bloodline. We only tracked out our own to the simplest terms because we had a feeling the Cult would return one day. My mother confirmed those details, alongside Grandmother Barenziah. The problem with the tracking is that information will leak eventually, no matter how hard you try to protect it. And that makes everyone linked sensitized to assassins and those with political agendas in mind. You and I for example are legitimate Septims. In the case of the dragonfires back during the Oblivion Crisis is a different story. The Archives stated that Nocturnal pulled the veil of shadow over my grandfather. Technically because, well, the blood line was already involved with Oblivion to begin with."

Still a bit of confusion though.

"I've read the covenant of St. Alessia was supposed to stop that. How would that mattered much?" I wonder.

( _"Nocturnal and several other Daedra are not considered notably evil in a sense. Those who would say otherwise are ignorant to the fact. Her and her sister, Azura and you may consider Meridia to be the same, have noble goals for Nirn in mind and aren't like the other daedric princes and their tendency to bring chaos to this realm. Or so the stories say. Nocturnal...is an ambiguous case. As with all Daedra."_ )

"Consider the contribution of the other Princes to not exactly state their original intentions. But you have to consider souls as a Princes currency. They're the most valuable things in their eyes. They have a little competition between themselves and perhaps the Aedra to see who is the 'richest'. In the end, all of it is just a game." She said.

One of the reasons why I hated religion. To be pushed and pulled by higher forces against our will. We would never be truly free.

"What about Petra? What about the other Dragonborn in history?" I wondered.

"Dragon souls are the most revered because they're most valued in power but it's nearly impossible for a Prince to claim their souls in the first place. Dragon souls are aberrant. Classified as immortal, as they are tied to the streams of time. They exist forever in some way, shape or form. Even when absorbed, they're just a unique string of energy. Another game entirely. A game of laws constructed by Akatosh himself. Because he could. They are his children after all. So in truth, no one holds real claim over a dragon soul and can't actually take them unwillingly. The soul has the power of choice after death. However, the laws dictate that if killed by another of those laws, then that soul is consumed."

( _"Within that moment, you consider the Gods to be more cruel than the princes at times."_ )

Even so, no one holds power over Petra's spirit. She has to go along willingly to go where she wants to.

"Do the Archives tell you that?" I asked her.

Mother donned a grin.

"It's passed along from Loremaster to Loremaster. You know Talos was Dragonborn. He made his decision. He became a God didn't he?" She put forth.

It's amusing to be related to a God. Shor have mercy.

"So both of us you say are related. So...does that mean our own spirits are unique?" I queried, curious.

The knowledge I got about this, the more I can understand.

"It's hard to say. You can have Dragonblood within you, a portion of the power from a ancestor who possesses the blood. But you have to have a Dragon soul as well to be considered a true Dragonborn. Like Petra is. We don't absorb the power of the dragons like she does. But we can certainly have the power to understand a lot easier than normal people and we're somewhat benefited on a mystic's scale. We're somewhere stranded in the middle. We have our tenets with Akatosh too. Martin Septim sacrificed his life to save Cyrodiil and by extension Tamriel from the wrath of Mehrunes Dagon via summoning an Avatar of Akatosh to the realm."

I nodded. I could somehow understand. It may explain the feelings of the word walls that Petra and I had seen over time. I could sense the energies emanating off them.

"So, if I wanted to do the same, I could?" I wondered.

She shook her head. A legitimate question.

"St Alessia established the covenant with Akatosh a long time ago, creating the Amulet of Kings. You'd only be able to do so by speaking with Akatosh yourself to re-establish something like that in mind. But don't get any ideas Bryn, you're not summoning an Avatar." She scolded.

I wasn't even considering it. It was just a question...it was quite the fascinating tale, to know that I had that kind of potential. I guess being a descendant is more a blessing than you think. Explains a few impossibilities that have happened over the past few years. Or it could all go pear shaped and end up being a curse.

"Aye, but even so...with the death of the dynasty...it's all tangled and twisted at the moment, isn't it?" I continued.

Mother sighed. She's always been the one for knowledge as well. But I hadn't known she had kept a lot of it in storage for a long, long while.

"Time has always been fickle. By saying that, we're always the ones sacrificed for the aforementioned battles the Aedra and Daedra wage. Petra, as Dragonborn, would have been written into the time stream by Akatosh himself. She has a role to play, a soldier in the battle-field that can have the best power of all. Most of us are condemned to a fate played by our choices and will have to suffer the consequences of our actions, like you and I, will end up in the Evergloam because of our Oaths, bound to Nocturnal for eternity. Petra has the flexibility to decide for herself...I envy her. She could become a God herself, if she so chose." Mother explain further.

( _"No offense, but that would be an incredibly bad idea."_ )

I agree. She'd want to give the Gods a stern talking to instead and tell them to shove it.

( _"For some reason, I also see that happening."_ )

"I do doubt that she would. I think she desires a life to just live as she can...as a mortal should. And not be thrown around by people who claim power over her." I said, knowing what Petra or at least having a good guess as to what she truely desired. Lass says a lot of things, but she may end up lying to herself in the end.

Mother flicked hair out of her face.

"She is as rewarded for her services. Taking down dragons is never an easy feat. She is a hard worker is she not?" She said.

Petra has worked considerably hard for the Guild, once you looked at all the wealth it gained after she joined. She's brought us the highest we've been in for years.

"Dragons are definitely tenacious and wild creatures. You could say the same about Petra..." I stated, unknowingly trailing off at the end.

But then her smile became wicked. By Shor. Mother please don't.

( _"Monah, please do."_ )

"Is that why you're drawn to her hm?" She implied.

I felt the heat on my cheeks. Not now! Ugh...WHY?

"Petra is Petra, mother. You don't need to know any of that." I told her. What is between us, stays between us.

She chuckled. She's going to lay it out to me then? Is she going to tell me about the birds and the bees at my age? Does she know I've already...

( _"Whats this about Birds and Bees?"_ )

It's a metaphor for...you know...

( _"I do not understand."_ )

"Bryn...I know what love is when I see it. I had dreams about her when you were a bit younger. When I saw her I was...having this strange vision of deja vu. I think you were destined to meet her." She said with the hint of comedic tone. Sounds stupid when she says it like that.

Petra means a lot to me. But mother to tease me about it, that's crueler than when Delvin and the others were doing it before. But this time I have accepted those feelings.

( _"She probably wants you to have younglings."_ )

Shor we're not even married! Why would we even think about kids in a time like this?

( _"Maybe she likes the way you and Petra are with the young cat girl? You were thinking about marrying her after all."_ )

Ayisha? Great...we've given her ideas. And why does her visions not surprise me in the slightest? This was completely embarrassing.

( _"I wouldn't be embarrassed for the love I have. If I was in love with a mortal like that, I wouldn't be ashamed. The fact that she loves you back is a great honour."_ )

Wait, don't you hate the Dragonborn?

( _"I'm learning from just seeing the world from your eyes. One may have killed me, but I'm seeing it. I'm not as ignorant. Being here with you and the others has made me look at it the situation with a bit more clarity. My pride does not shield me and it does not bode better on either of us to hide anything. They are made to teach dragonkind a lesson that they are not Gods, just incredibly powerful creatures that are the creation of real gods."_ )

I'm glad you're seeing that Priest. But, we have the dragonblood. I do anyway...perhaps while I don't have the soul like Talos did, we may still have the ability to tide fate.

( _"Possibly...maybe."_ )

"Yeah..uhh...thanks ma?" I said. Forever awkward.

She laughed. Don't tell me mothers normally do this.

"Ah Bryn, isn't it nice though? The both of you on these exotic adventures together. Only if I had that with your father." She said, her face beaming.

( _"She has to be joking."_ )

I think she might be.

"Petra is good at what she does. She just needs a little push that's all." I told mother.

"And it's nice. She does really care about you, you know. I'm only happy my son's found a woman worthy of my respect. And I hope you care about for her more than her body and love her no matter what she becomes." She said as she ruffled my hair, much to my dismay.

Ahh yeah...please stop talking about this. I love Petra. Nord, Vampire, Dragon. I don't really care. As long it's just...Petra. That's all I care about and that is the woman I fell in love with.

( _"You still have that Amulet of Mara tucked away?"_ )

Gods, I forgot about that. Why did you remind me?

( _"I found it. You were going to propose to her, weren't you?"_ )

Uhh...I was considering it. I want Petra to be with me. I've had a think about it, though I may still give it some thought. I want to eventually acknowledge certain truths to her. I want to let her know...so much. I hide this away because no one needs to hear about it all. I want to look forward and not back. But I've been lying all my life...not just to her, but to myself.

( _"In what way?"_ )

I suppose there's no use hiding it from you Priest. Growing up was bad enough. I'm a thief at the end of the day. I'm filled with nothing but anger at the world, but thanks to Mercer, I got really good in hiding it. I got good at acting the parts I needed to become then sort of molded myself into the parts I created for myself. I had forgotten what the anger was about. Because there was enough in the Guild alone, as it fell apart and no one was willing to pick up the pieces besides me. It had gotten me nowhere. So I became steadfast pole in the middle of the Cistern.

( _"The voice of reason."_ )

I had nothing else to live for besides for the Guild's existence. But, it was all about having the right plan to solve any problem that we'd come across. I involved myself heavily enough that I didn't care that anyone hated me. I had accepted that as part of the business. It wasn't about who liked you, but to let them you know not to cross with us or our clients. It's a dirty job, but to consider doing it commanded a strong will, and the love of challenge.

( _"Being a Nightingale is the same."_ )

I remember reading up on Gallus' exploits. He was considered a legend in the Guild. The feats and the stories...nothing short of incredible. Then...

( _"Petra comes along..."_ )

It was in happenstance. I needed a second pair of hands. But those I had propositioned either laughed at me or worse. Or they were just milk-drinkers.  
But the girl in the torn, yellow dress. Never seen her before. Looking back, in her eyes, reminded me of one the Guild members when I was a lad that put the idea in my head that being a thief, was, well, in childrens terms. Cool.

( _"I'm guessing that's some kind of metaphor."_ )

Aye. The Catalyst for my future. I first saw the death in her eyes, but looking deeper, I could see the same anger. The rage I had once forgotten. Putting it through my head, I tested her out. I suppose the next thing I knew was her success, where others had failed. But she had adapted to play pretend much better than I. Delvin, at one point, given Petra's subsequent successive conquests, wondered if she was sent to us by Gallus himself.

( _"But you're not a real lover of faith, or religion."_ )

No. Back then I wasn't inclined to believe him. But one city, after another, sort her out for the more difficult jobs. It made it seem the whole Guild had gotten its shit together, when really it was just one tiny lass, who took it all in her stride and like me, became heavily invested in the work...and did it well.

( _"So do you believe she was sent by Gallus?"_ )

Looking back now, it's entirely possible. She fled to Riften from what she's told me. But what compelled her to go there...from what I learned about Nocturnal from Karliah...

( _"Gallus' name was an echo in the Evergloam. It's entirely possible, that he could been the shadows that walked her to Riften. She may not know it, but he could have seen the potential in her before she even did. Even if the Ebonmere was locked, Nocturnal may have managed to creep something out."_ )

Maybe so Priest. I've seen bizarre and I've seen things that would make one think they're delusional.

( _"Like Petra?"_ )

Heh...I suppose. But I'll stand by my words...the hardest ones tend to be the best investments.

( _"Of course. But then..."_ )

Really Priest? Fine. I had Vex, Delvin, Tonilia and Vekel tease me about my relationship with her. I suppose it annoyed me so much it had to had sown the seeds for something much larger than I anticipated.

( _"Or revealed a part of you that had always been there. Drawn her to upon the visage of her very self, as well as her stubborn personality and work ethic, only for the spell cast from the Obvious realm to reveal the sign from the shadows."_ )

How very poetic.

( _"I know this because when I see Petra, I see Nocturnal."_ )

No wonder why you assume Gallus lead her to Riften.

( _"Nocturnal works in ways no one knows the real reasons to. Assumptions are all we have."_ )

Like my mother who works with surprises.

( _"Perhaps."_ )

Then when Mercer said she was dead, I was a complete mess. I'd had been steadfast in my heart, feeling as if she wasn't dead. I was inclined to believe Mercer. But I thought my heart had been deceiving me. And in the depths of my own near death-experience, I'd accepted my own feelings for her.

( _"Then she must have felt the same then...listening to her words...I was brought to the notion of such love that would end up betraying her. But, going from your words here, she fights for you just as you fought for her. Such dedication through sacrifice and commitment. I had done such the same for Nocturnal but never got anywhere. I envy you, but...keep a hold of her Brynjolf. I will observe this tale of your relationship..."_ )

I fell in love with a fellow mortal, instead of a Daedra. No offence Priest, but that would have not worked out well irregardless.

( _"You say that now."_ )

Heh...just don't intrude our private time. I will propose to her...when the time is right...

( _"Be proud of it then. You just don't want your mother to go all hyperactive about it."_ )

I just said now just isn't the time!

"Bryn is something the matter?" Mother asked, cutting off our important discussion.

I sighed. I know there was still a lot to do.

"I'm sorry. It's just...I do love Petra. I want to be able to help her. And right now we're doing the exact opposite. Can we just remain focused and worry about all this later?"

She frowned. She will get what she wants, eventually.

"Oh Bryn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm really happy for you though. You've always been a responsible young lad. I just...I'm sorry I've never been there for you myself. You took care of me all these years. And now you're doing it again with Petra. Your heart is in the right place. And I'm really proud of you. You just have this natural tendency to look after people. You're probably thinking that you're not a proud son with the best role models. But I can tell you I am proud mother." She praised.

I feel...bad. I don't...I don't know...maybe I am over-thinking things and worrying too much. But...

( _"Your love for Petra makes you worried irregardless. I know what that's like. I'm certain it will change for the better. Look at what I am saying...you're a bad influence."_ )

"Maybe once this is all over, I can return to the Guild proper. I'll try not to be an embarrassment in front of you. I'll tend to the Hall once more, back to my duties and keep in contact. Just promise me you'll invite your mother to the wedding?" She spoke with sincerity.

I smiled. I can imagine if she came to the Cistern she'd give everyone a once over.

"That would be nice. I'd like that. I think a few members of the Guild need an attitude adjustment." I joked. Although I would believe she'd take that seriously...ehh...

She may have not taken to the role as she should have when I was growing up, but she still had that warm, motherly aspect about her. Must come about when you have kids...or I've subconsciously watched how Petra treats Ayisha as she was her own.

( _"Yes that must be it."_ )

She may have never got to be a mother to me, but I think. I believe we can still be good friends in the meanwhile. She is mother by blood after all, but I get along well with people if they're willing to get along with me. I still don't feel the vibes from her though, but not exactly a bad thing. I've grown up with an independence and I can take care of myself in the long run. We can catch up, and I don't know if I can forgive her for abandoning us, but I do have the strength to carry myself along otherwise.

She has her reasons, I'm sure. But there's a barrier of doubt that surrounds us. But we got along and that was good enough for us to be just good friends. When I told her that, she seemed to be okay with it, accepting that I would start calling her by her real name instead. Or her nickname, either way.

* * *

We kept walking, then she had sensed something nearby by and urged us both to be cautious. I could feel it to, readying my blade for anything.

"Papa!"

I heard a familiar voice, alongside flapping wings that were sounded in the distance. I squinted. Wait...that voice was Ayisha. And...were my eyes really deceiving me?

( _"No. I think that is who you think it is."_ )

We were welcomed by a large, violet dragon. And that riding it was definitely the young khajiit. The Dragon, she was unmistakable.

"Petra..." I muttered. Good Gods.

She flew down beside us, lowering her entire body down to let Ayisha off her neck. I...I was happy to see her. I'm not at all surprised she had somehow gained a tangible form. She gets miracles like that sometimes. Somehow they just happen to her. Probably part of her magnificent plate of powers, both passive and active. Or it's a balance for all the bad stuff that she cops.

I walked up to her, looking in her eyes, still as light-blue as the day I saw her. She smiled. And I knew her smile came up even if head and face was a giant lizards. I felt indifferent to her form. She did have nice thick horns, curved nicely and her wings a wonderful shade of lavender. She was beautiful...fitting for one such as her.

( _"You still love her all the same...yet she's an immortal. WHAT DID YOU JUST TELL ME?"_ )

She had trouble looking me in the eye, until I grabbed her head. It felt nice just touching her again. Something I had been meaning to do for a long time. Scaly...but I didn't care. Not as nice as touching her skin but it was close enough.

"Thank goodness you guys are alright." Petra stated, relieved. Her voice had a bit more...boom to it with a bit of mystical echoes with it.

She was always such a magical creature. She was now her own personal personification of it.

"Aye...we're fine. Good to see you're managing yourself well." I said. No joke intended.

Even as a dragon, she still had all the humanoid mannerisms, like shrugging.

"Beats being a ghost. But...I had encountered Prolg while we were over there." She revealed.

Mother came up from behind me. With her original intent in full.

"Prolg? What did he do?" Neme demanded.

Petra described how she was chained and how she talked with the man and his apparent rise to power, wearing a unique dragonscale suit...and that he desired a ritual from her, but unable to do it due to her links with Nocturnal. I had no idea what he was trying to do, but involved the Gods somehow. She told me he was muttering. I forgot he used to do that often when trying to plot something. The man knows no bounds. And he will pay. And the fact he had an Elder Scroll, a powerful instrument, made matters worse. The only thing we could do, was delay everything as much as we could, but somewhere within me made be believe would find a way to force a sever, for now, I will protect Petra.

Mother studied Petra's words, as if trying to get into the lass's head. Ayisha had then jumped into my arms as I held her. She then rested her head on my shoulder. Poor thing must be exhausted.

Looking at her though. It gave me a warmth.

( _"Fatherly warmth. I sense it."_ )

Ayisha wasn't really family though. She was with us because we needed to protect her from Prolg and everything else. We do plan to return her someday.

( _"I'm just going to retreat for now. Call me when you need me."_ )

Alright then? Anyway, we hugged one another. But, this...this felt like family. A real family. We...it's an odd feeling. A sensation I'd never predicted that I would have. And it's like, a really bizarre group. A nord, a dragon and a Khajiit. Think of the context of that if it was taken incorrectly. I suppose it's not the worst thing that would happen, but the happiness that ran through me was nice. Aye, I could go on about it...but we have more to worry about it.

But...even so...I was glad Petra was of the flesh. I think in her eyes that she felt much better too. Her spirit taken form once more. She told me of the Amulet of Akatosh she was wearing. Now it made a bit more sense. But, Prolg was now in direct league with Alduin, and I feared this was going to get much worse.

But...Petra, she was shy in showing her love. Being a dragon made just a tad more awkward. I don't blame her. She had her power and her strength. And I was here, ready to support. I let Ayisha go for the moment, as mother knew we needed some time alone so she took her elsewhere while Petra and I talked.

* * *

The funniest part was when she nuzzled me with that long snout of hers, rubbing against my cheeks. But it was rather nice, only because it was Petra. Her lips were a bit big for me to kiss, but I just gave her a peck on her head to make sure. I could hear her breathing and felt the warm air coming from her...large nostrils. I felt her horns, smooth and hard as I ran my fingers over them and her scales. I wanted her to feel better and not to worry to what I thought about her. She's definitely still Petra...only a bit bigger. Don't look at me like that. She's a good person in a bad situation. Be damned if we don't make the best of what we had.

I had missed her dearly. And I was so sorry if I had caused her any pain. We attempted to hug one another. Another obstacle. She rose her 'arms' and wrapped her wings around me as I hugged her somehow, putting my arms on her back. I could hear her loud heart beats as I put my ear to her chest. Her form was much softer looking than your regular dragon. She had taken the guise of the seemingly unknown Amethyst Dragon. Those that you would find only in dreams.

"You...don't mind this form?" She asked me.

Still so anxious and self-conscious.

"Hey, I know who you really are lass. Don't worry about me." I assured her.

Her heart beat intensified. I rubbed her back. She must have been quite emotional about it. She was coping better than I expected her to. I certainly hope she keeps exceeding my expectations. But I don't want to put pressure on her if I was going to think like that. She'll do it anyway, irregardless of what I think.

"Shh...it's fine. Really. We're stuck here together anyway. So I doubt we'll be going anywhere anytime soon. And hopefully we'll be able to kill Prolg together."

She let go of me and stood back, lowering her head as she inspected me. I doubt she would have known I would have said that, but the man wasn't my father and never was. I take to my own now, without fear or compromise. I am Brynjolf the Master thief, and I'll keep it that way if I can. But I was Petra's as well and she had always been my dragon girl. One and only. Don't care what it takes. As long as she's safe. And if killing Prolg means that we'll find peace, then so be it.

"You're going to do that? Of course I'll be glad to help...only..." She said as she trailed off.

I kissed her on the nose again. I know she would want to be a bit wary of the issue, but I can understand her concern.

"Don't stress that pretty head of yours lass. Neme and I have talked about this. It's been a long time coming. Right now, we'll need to focus on us getting out of here. Did you happen to see anything on your flight over?" I asked her.

Her eyes on the skies, then to the ground would know all.

"No...I didn't. But I do sense something nearby, on the spectrum of undeath. Actually, it seems to be getting closer. I don't know what it is, it's exceedingly powerful." She warned us.

( _"I'm back for the moment...I sense it too. I know what it is...get ready for it..."_ )

What was it? I readied my blade and warned Neme and Ayisha as Petra turned around to face the empowering force that was steadily approaching us. Whispers skittered all around us and cold gusts brushing us around. I was ready for it.

( _"It's the Reaper!"_ )

Thankfully fitting for something undead. A bit of flair in that voice of yours priest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Think of her as a scolding mother continually pushing you harder to be successful; outwardly sounding angry but silently content." - Karliah


	64. Mortality VS. Immortality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra contemplates her stance on two sides of the spectrum.

 

You know you're screwed ten days from Sundas when you're roaming around in the dark in some plane of Oblivion.

And a monster that calls itself the 'Reaper' doesn't exactly suggest you'd survive the experience. But no matter, we'll make do with what we have and kick it's ass.

I growled at it's ugly blackened form and the darkness we found ourselves in wasn't making the situation easier. But it held it's ethereal form before us, holding an axe, with burning red eyes, taunting us with it's hollow, echoed laughs. It just looked stupid. It was stupid. It made me angry.

I flew up and flew around us, shouting fire at it. It shielded itself and summoned an army of bonemen to combat the others. Should have known it would have friends. But as I fought it, flying around avoiding ghost arrows I realised myself, that taking the skies and fighting off land-dwelling foes...it dawned on me of the powers I now wielded, ended up taking form of what started my phobia

The sensation of power, the structure and the hindsight. I can see how this makes most dragons feel invincible. You're literally given a fight or flight situation and you see that all those look smaller beneath you and that at any given moment, they could crush you.

Dragons are compelled to dominate and I was no different. I had a reaction to a normal dragon's nature and yet, though I would freeze upon the sight of it. I am what I fear...I evolved and grew as much as the phobia didn't want me to. I was afraid of my own kind. But...I am human and mortal. My real flesh will rot in time. I am not undead, but I am something...more...

The uniqueness that comes with being Dragonborn is because the Gods are there to prove that they can change the world for better or for worse. They're not exactly extremely involved with the mortals that worship them but they have their subtle influences. Similar to Nocturnal herself.

I am me. I am Petra. Who is anyone to say otherwise?

I change physically. I may change mentally, the outlook of one and the perspective develops, but really, to be risen in the ways of mortal kind normally is you will understand mortality. I think that's what makes me strong. You can have all the power as an immortal, but you've never comprehended the factors of mortality and can go into despair, I feel. Death was never an option if you were lucky enough, but as mortals we can expect to die, but we work hard to make sure our lives meant something. And to not abuse them like majority should...especially the Daedric Princes.

All these...treacherous creatures that may have brains and brawn but none of them have any real heart. They're too lazy to learn how to love and protect. But there are others who may care, but ultimately are separated from the rest of us.

Life and Death has been a topic for scholars for years. Where do we go? What happens? The constant charge of energies that are with us all our lives and suddenly, one day...those energies are gone. What ties us on the string of life and what cuts it short?

Brynjolf fights off the bonemen with such ferocity...no sense of hesitation dwelled in his heart. A mortal's tenacity is strong. Yet, my soul is immortal? This what immortality is?

But being akin to a Gods plane...does that divide my heart with my humanity?

I am stronger without death as my shadow...but I am weaker without time. Time will no longer flow. My soul exists outside of it. The time stream empowers me as a being, a creature.

Petra can die but Petra is ageless as this. The states of existence that are mostly in tune to what can and can be allowed to sit well with each and every plane. Mankind exists to serve as reality. But mankind can smile and survive as long as it can...

I look at Ayisha, her freedom of expression, her skills as a child. Taught by one of the Clan mothers. Yes...death brings sadness but we know we must use the time we have to pass on our legacies to our children. They hold a piece of ourselves within them and within the years that make them grow, so they that impart that same wisdom into the next generation

We grow and die but we're never really gone. We're somewhere, contributing somehow. That's what mortalkind has done for centuries. We fight for ourselves, we fight for what we believe in. I am destined to die one day without turning back again. Because I am flesh, blood and soul as a living child of man.

Time also keeps us sane. Time keeps us motivated when we don't have much of it. Procrastination of the heart dwells within. Growing old beyond our means.

But why am I thinking this? Vampirism gave me a taste and while it made me stronger in terms of personal power, it made me weaker morally. Was it, because the way I'm shouting beasts apart in the most gruesome way possible, the way I'm currently taking hold of one of the bonemen in my teeth that while my lust for violence drives me to do so, that it was the same empty feeling afterwards like I was as vampire. And the real pain does not come easy. If I was born immortal it would have been different. I would have have the background knowledge and the subconscious apathy to the plight itself.

But you have to wonder even, well, I am sort of undead again. I think. Don't know what I am actually...but...is it worth the pain of losing ones self just to live forever? Is that the price a mortal pays to stop inevitable death? I don't know...I have no idea. I want to grow old and die because that's what my purpose is as a human and I will fight until my dying days. Isn't that why Akatosh made me?

No one can answer that question.

Even as a dragon, no amount of magic can transform your mind state. You can love it if you so chose, but eventually, while you stop aging, your mind keeps aging no matter what. Ceasing existence is a blessing, because you are then freed from the binds of your consciousness. Because what happens if you end up a blabbering fool stuck in the chains or being imprisoned from time itself? I've always wondered. You see the elders, who wander the lands or just rest until they pass because they've seen enough in the world and all they can do, other than fight is to inspire and educate others, teach them...

I wouldn't call myself a teacher. I was born a nord. I am a thief, a warrior of the shadows. My short-term goals aren't noble, but my long-term ones are. I decimate and decipate the Reaper with ease and shout on the pool of black muck that he forms.

The rest of the bonemen cease to be. How undeath is nothing but a cruelty to senseless souls.

"That was...fun." Brynjolf joked.

I looked at him with skepticism..

Yet, while bodies change, the very core of your own being...is it possible to remain as you are or do you change as well and can you fall down far enough that you're no longer considered what you were originally.

Change as a concept is a love-hate relationship. Minor and major...welcomed, feared or and it's absolute atrocity.

This is making me think too much. And with time no longer holding me back, I am allowed to think too much. This is what makes me despise it. There must be a middle ground as to how much you're allowed to contemplate. Because when you think things, you get ideas and ideas can get stuck in your head.

I really am over-thinking this, ironically. I'll make do with what I have and what options I could be eligible to take. I never wanted to get power into my head because I definitely know where it leads to. I am expecting so much change and yet, occasionally I feel exactly the same...I don't know what it is, but, I might be anticipating something brewing beyond the horizon.

The lights themselves turn on in the form of torches that revealed a small room. Perhaps the nightmare of that was over. I still am worried over what Prolg was saying and just wanted out of here and stay far away from that as possible. But...in my gut I sense truth in his words. I will fight Alduin...as it has always been written. But I want to know more about what I can do and how I will approach the issue. I could speak with Delphine or somebody who knows more information. Paarthurnax even...

I just wanted out.

* * *

The others exited the large door, while I had to squeeze myself out. I could see the skies of the Soul Cairn once more. Not something I wanted to see again but it was much better than inside that dreadful place.

We took a moment to collect ourselves and figure out our next move. Brynjolf sat down on the steps nearby while I shuffled along and laid myself down. Ugh...for all the power this gives me, it's really inconvenient and really awkward to manage.

"How's it going?" He asked me as I eventually got myself sorted. Being big and bulky will need some getting used to.

"I'll be fine, I think." I told him. I was trying to convince myself as well.

I can always rely on Bryn to bring me back to reality however. My sturdy anchor.

"Good to hear. So, uh...we're out now. So...I think it's safe to say we may be able to get out of here now?" He suggested, albeit uncertain.

I shrugged. Sounded like a great idea.

"I think I want to investigate this place more." I heard Nemetona mention.

I tilted my head. I knew what she was after.

"You think that Prolg still roams on this plane?" I asked her.

"We still gotta find where that portion of your soul is. Where ever an Ideal Master is." Brynjolf mentioned.

Wait what? Brynjolf explained to me how, while he wore the Realm-Walker's ring that he had borrowed from me...on the Realm-Walker's request...somehow and that it protected him from the poisonous magic that caused pain as you would walk in her and Ayisha's position as Mane protected her as well, it was made as a suggestion from one of the Realm-Walker's servants that they had partially satisfied the Ideal Master's hunger with a portion of her soul taken away from her. Durnehviir had taught me about the Ideal Masters at one point when he found me. Nasty creatures, the lot of them.

Huh...strange daedric like magic that is...

"I've seen a few around. Durnehviir told me that getting close to them is dangerous. Their hunger exceeds them, meaning your life force is absorbed. I'll have a look." I told them. I hated being immortal, but at least I'm actually more sturdy as a being than any of them.

"I'll go with you." Neme announced.

"We'll all go. Petra, thanks for the offer, I'm not letting you fly around on your own." Brynjolf stated with his arms crossed.

I rolled my eyes. Part of me hates being babied sometimes.

"You guys didn't have to come all the way here to pick me up. I could at least, return the favour." I stated.

I watched him stand up and approach me, grabbing my head and looking deep into my eyes.

There's something interesting about what you can find. I had saved Bryn's life from his father and I was saddened by the prospect of not seeing him again, but saving his life was the last great feeling I held onto, alongside my love for him, before being cast into this hellhole.

And he handled me like I hadn't changed at all. His concern for me, unwavering. I was a big hulk of a monster right now, but even so, he still made me feel human at least. I'm alive somewhat, though in between it at the moment. I'm certain I'm not undead. I don't stink like it, I may get hungry but I won't starve to death at least. My energies come from time itself yet it ignores me. I think...that's just an assumption of mine. I honestly don't know.

Even in this form, he made me back down a bit, the feeling of my big head in his hands. He wanted to give me one of his ol' pep talks. Okay, let's have it.

"You're being too modest there Petra. You know the world needs you now more than ever. I don't want to be selfish in saying that I need you too in some way shape or form. And as long as there is a way, I will never give up on you." He declared.

I think I have something in my eye. His dedication got a little bit too much sometimes. But a sensation came over me like none other.

"You know I won't live forever in the way you want me to. I desire to grow old and die like the rest of you. I am a nord at heart and no matter how many times I may change, that will always remain the same." I told him. I feel there is more I want to say but I don't know how to say it.

He smiled warmly...I embraced it.

"Glad to hear it. I'm still content with the woman I'm looking at now."

Even the blushing is still the same. Gods damn it Bryn stop it.

"Yeah...okay...um...but I'd rather you hold me as you know me...human. I don't plan to stay like this forever...you know." I told him, although I shouldn't care about what other people think.

He was amused.

"I know, I know. I don't know how many times I have to beat into your skull. But you know I still care about you." He boldly claimed.

I grumbled, then grinned. Doubt can be powerful at times.

"Yeah yeah, I love you too. Stop doing that..." I told him.

He then developed a laugh and rubbed my forehead with his knuckles. I think he was making fun of me. Why I...hm...better not. I might accidentally scratch him or worse. But, I suppose I better stretch those wings of mine. I'd enjoy escorting them across the open barrens. Not much to see, but it'll give me more confidence for my own benefit. I tend to lose everything when I don't get much to control for myself. I really have to stop breaking down like that.

"Get your ass on my back. Get the others'. We'll find this Ideal Master and get your ma's...soul portion of them. Gods know how we're going to do that." I ordered

He nodded and made a devious smirk. Wait...oh no...GOODNESS BRYN I DID NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT...you sicko...I wanted to smack him.. He called the other two over and explained the plan to them. Neme seemed to agree, Ayisha was over the moons for it. She liked dragon riding.

"Your flying carriage awaits m'lady." I told Ayisha as I lowered myself. Her giggles made me happy.

"Yay!" She squealed.

She was the first to jump on my back, as Brynjolf helped her up, then helped Neme up too. This was probably more fun than I myself expected it to be.

"Hold on, this might...gah..." I said, struggling to get balance.

I never ran the figures in my head on how awkward it would make it, since Ayisha was holding on my horns tightly. I had less nerves there, I think that was all bone anyway. I kill dragons for a living, or I am supposed to yet I have learned nothing from their anatomy. You'd figured I would check their bones often. Uhh...blame the phobia. Just...blame the phobia and don't ask questions, okay?

It took a couple of flaps and own self-centered positioning to get right. I am not meant for comfortable transport other than myself. Even so, I doubt this was what Akatosh actually intended for me in the first place, let alone any Dragonborn created by Him. Oh well...

* * *

We flew across the skies, looking down upon the ruins of the Cairn's desolate nature. Nothing much to see. I wish I could head back to Tamriel. At least the views there would be much nicer. Although I would be subjected to dozens of arrows due to major miscommunications and that they don't know I'm not going to be a threat. Interesting.

"See anything down there lass?" Brynjolf asked me.

"Uhhh...just black buildings mostly. I'm considering the design aesthetic of this place wasn't quite as imaginable as you would think..." I told him.

"Huh...didn't take you for quite the artist there Petra." Brynjolf joked. However his mother seemed to agree.

"Planes of Oblivion tend to reflect the relationship it has with it's masters mind. But I agree, not much inspiration and thought into design. I think it's supposed to bring unity, but with all the lost souls here, I'm not going to bother describing the very reason it seems so outlandish." Neme said.

Yeah that makes as much sense as having a tantrum and destroying the room. You're angry and you want everyone else to be just as pissed off. Logic!

Brynjolf just face-palmed. Being the only guy with a Cat, a dragon and his mother by his side isn't exactly calling for a recipe of fun and sensibility. But we made do.

We did eventually find Neme's soul, hiding underneath the giant soul gem like monsters floating in the air. Took a bit, but it was there. Neme was glad and I think Bryn was too. I suppose bringing her back overall. I don't want to interrupt the complications they may have had. He hasn't said a lot about it, then again, I don't' expect him to.

I couldn't imagine being splintered like that. I wouldn't feel whole at all. And I can imagine feeling weaker with losing a possibly important aspect as yourself. I don't like the sacrifices made to my own well being when things like these come across, but I always recall fathers words and push on...

Uhh...hmm...speaking of...

Wait...

I looked down, seeing two souls together on a set of steps. Their...auras felt familiar. Seeing them there triggered flashbacks.

Gods...Gods help me...

"Woah Petra. Hold up...what's wrong?" Brynjolf questioned. Yeah I forgot flying in one spot isn't exactly making it easy for them to hang on properly.

"Those two...those two souls...down there..." I muttered.

"Oh we met them earlier. They helped us find you." Nemetona mentioned.

I had to go down there, much to the others dismay. The souls seemed to shirk away from me as I landed, surprising them. Sorry!

I looked at them as their faces were written with fear. But their faces were clear to me now. I knew those faces I definitely recognized.

"Sorry bout that...lass just...lass?" Bryn said, apologizing on my behalf.

No...don't be afraid...I got a little closer.

"Get away!" The woman cried.

"No! Mother it's me!" I called out.

She seemed shocked to hear me speak, as my father stood in front of her in defense.

"What trickery is this? Is being sent here not good enough for you people?" As father scolded.

I shook my head. I had to make them see, even if I couldn't show them.

"No...father. It's...me...Petra..." I pleaded. They may not see me as human but they had to at least understand my voice. Though it was slightly deeper than normal.

Mother started to cry. No...don't do that. Please don't. But father just got angrier.

"Our daughter is no dragon!" Father shouted.

Brynjolf stunned me as he stood beside me, glaring at my father. Although he must have figured it out before I said anything. I think. I don't know. But the souls before me. It was definitely them. It must be difficult for them to accept what I am...and explaining it would just make them more confused, upset and angry.

"You don't even see your daughter?" Brynjolf scolded.

"What? How is she my daughter? My daughter is in Skyrim right now." He announced.

"Why did you leave?" I asked, pleading. Instead he crossed his arms. I could feel such hate coming from him.

"We'd gotten word that dragons were coming back and I wanted to bring her home. The letters, the letters that she normally sent..." He explained/

Even as a dragon this brought tears to my eyes. Why...why didn't he believe me?

"I only stopped because I was going through some issues I'd rather you not know about. I've not exactly been the ideal daughter you expected me to be. I...I..." I said, before my voice croaked.

Brynjolf placed his hand on my neck. I can't get any words out. My mouth's snapped shut and my throat tightened. I thought I got over that.

"You take her voice but you do not have our spirit. Our Petra went to Skyrim on a scholarship...she got invited to join the bards in Solitude." He said.

What? Oh, I forgot about that little white lie.

"Ain't true father. I came here because I was told to come alone. I went to Helgen and almost died...and...and..." I continued.

Ayisha cuddled me. Bless her heart that was twice the size of her.

My head fell in shame and despair, Then Neme stood to my defense as well. Why must you guys do this for me?

"You're obviously not paying attention to what she is saying. Your daughter is Dragonborn and you birthed her body but not her spirit. She didn't come here willingly and if she could, her soul would take her original form. You fear what you do not understand, but to not recognize your own child, even when she's calling out to you is disgraceful." Neme explained, in the hopes it would make sense to them.

I didn't see that coming. But father seemed more angry. He wasn't big on magic, considering all his stance of magic in general wasn't exactly in good graces.

"So...if you are my daughter, what is one of the things I taught you back home then...prove it...go on..." He stated.

I lifted my head, eyes pleading for them to know. My jaw quivered.

"No one like's doing the dirty work, but it's often the most important job of all. Somebody has to do it." I managed to spit out eventually.

His eyes widened and brows lifting where they shouldn't be lifted to.

"Gods..." He muttered in disbelief.

I lifted my head up and made a weak smile, hoping that he would have now known who I was.

"Please...father..."

He stood back and took hold of mothers hand...and faded away.

No! Come back! I charged for them, but they had disappeared completely. I flew up...I need time alone...

* * *

I couldn't...why. Why didn't they just see me? Am I...have I changed that much? No...maybe. I'm not sure. Gods...I'm a monster...I didn't even have a mirror to see myself.

The others understand but that's because they know what's going on. To everyone else they're all going to jump on the bandwagon and fear me because, to my phobia, it was a normal reaction to it. I guess I just didn't expect that from my own mother and father. And it's outright distressing.

I wanted to be human again, get the whole damn thing over and done with.

This was what I was talking about. The whole barrier that split me apart from those I once associated myself with. It was dreadful. I wasn't meant for this. Not even close. Fate drags me around and I'm supposed to have control but I'm just a plaything.

Brynjolf of course found me. He always does as I sat above a nearby tower, overlooking the plains of uncertainty.

"I can't imagine how hard that was for you." He commented, rubbing my neck.

I sighed. I always seem to fail in matters of the common man. A lot of that just doesn't to translate well to normal people. And my parents were as normal as you can get. Of course they're scared.

"I know you see me because your heart knows me, but...I thought they would have seen reason." I stated with sorrow.

I had to remember all those outside the circle who had no idea this was going on, let alone my parents. This was my fault. I shouldn't have stopped sending them letters. I could have made more lies to let them know I was alive and well, even though I had been...violated, hit, destroyed, killed, been a vampire...why would any parent want to think their child was nothing more but the perfect little girl they always wanted. I took dads lesson to heart even, but even so his actioms seemed more contradictory if anything.

"This was Prolg's doing." Said Brynjolf with the touch of anger in his tone.

"Don't dote on it, if you can. They have most likely gone elsewhere but too scared and in disbelief. Give them time."

Yeah. Give them all the time. They're not going anywhere. And if something about this wasn't going to come quick, then time would run out everywhere.

Let's get this over with. I'm ready.

"I'm prepared to do what's necessary Bryn...tell me what I need to do to back to the land of the living." I said.

He nodded. If I can aim to be like him where he knows where his goals lie then he'll get there no matter what.

"Aye, but you're not going to like it." He warned.

He explained how the Realm-Walker gave him something called the Golden Soul Gem, that had the ability to store in unique souls like mine and be able to take it out of the realm to place it back within my real body. Thank Talos. I'd almost forgotten about her.

But another ritual requiring a Soul Gem I've never even heard of? I suppose if it's the Realm-Walker's doing and I semi-trust her...sort of. I'll take anything I can at this point.

"When ever you're ready lass...just say the word..." Brynjolf told me.

Fear suddenly struck me as my mind gave way to powerful doubt again. What if it doesn't work?

I look at Bryn and realize I'm still feeling a much more potent attachment to him. It's not from the bones, but the spirit. I am meant to be his guardian, the protector of a true Septim. My Dragonself, compelled to defend to the death. It's...unusual. But maybe it's not that. Maybe it's from what Arngeir said. Love is translated into something a dragon's mind can comprehend. But I am a mere mortal at the end of the day and honestly, I should be understanding these feelings. But when the feelings are incredibly complex...

He says he loves me no matter what, will care for me no matter what...it doesn't feel shallow. Like, while my mind plays tricks and likes to convince itself otherwise. I've known men who were simply afraid of me because I could throw my lot with the rest of them, even when I tried to make female friends, no wanted to associate themselves with the nord girl...

Oh no, I'm going down that path again. I keep talking about the imperial boys, but then the imperial girls...they were the worst gossipers, claiming that the boys would only have sex with me because I was seen as exotic and tough to conquer. While I did enjoy my rendezvous with them, some of them wanted to be punched by me. Looking back now, I should have punched the girls instead.

Sex with Bryn was different. I mean yeah he was a virgin, but giving him what he wanted was a risk. Risks that ended up going down the same road as everyone else. All those who were nice to me to begin with and as soon as they got what they wanted, they left. But Bryn stayed true in the end. Maybe my minds telling me otherwise because it expects the same outcome.

My love for him...is it stronger than I thought it was? Is this like the ones you see in stories? The thing called true love? I've...never had that before, where my heart threatens to jump out of my chest every time he say he loves me. But then I get skeptical again because I've been hurt before. Then for some reason, I see it all laid before me, but I close my eyes, not really wanting to believe it.

I...I do want to explore this, even if it's scary. We're affectionate and comfortable with one another but it seems deeper than that. I wonder how Karliah dealt with this...

"If it's okay with you, I think I just want to lay with you for the moment before I go...I just want us to have the chance to be here together one last time before I go in that thing." I said out of the blue.

Brynjolf nodded. His understanding is beyond words.

"That's fine. But we are strapped for time." He warned.

Here I go already. Time-abusing again. Damn it Petra you knew it was a dumb idea and you said it anyway.

"Sorry...it's okay, forget I said anything." I said with shame.

Bryn raised his hand at me, then his face relaxed.

"Lass, it's not something any of us have done before. I want you to be okay when you're in there. Because I'll keep it close to my heart as I take you out. Your body is still at Fellnir and we're currently preserving it in Stahlrim ores. Hopefully still okay for you go back." He informed me.

I'm still stunned they went all the trouble to do this for me.

"Bryn...I..." I muttered.

He kissed me on the forehead. Felt nice.

"Don't stress. Just let me lay with you."

I relaxed a bit as Brynjolf sat next to me and laid back, staring at my softened head. According to him it did seem a bit feminine in comparison to real dragons. Thanks Bryn...needed that.

But he rubbed my chin, which felt good, then responded in low growls of content. I felt dirty being his pet at the moment. Goodness those implications. But judging from the smiling expression he was donning, he couldn't give half a septim to care what anyone else thought. If he wanted me he could have me. But now we had plans to bring me back, I'll be glad to see him as equal mortals once more.

I desired to be on his level. I honestly thought that I was actually more intimidating, considering my parents reactions beforehand. And I just was a mess of those feelings of rejection and deeper notions of want. Never thought it'd be so harsh. But I guess when it's family, it's just a lot worse. And I never got to say a proper good bye...

I started crying again, Gods damnit I'm pathetic aren't I? But Brynjolf, the beautiful stubborn nord with the rugged face, the red-headed bastard, just effortlessly wiped the tears away...

"If only all dragons were as cute as you." He joked.

I gave a weak smile. Now replace the word dragons with Nords and he'd sound a lot like everyone else. But coming from him sounded genuine.

"They wouldn't be killing everybody now would they?" I told him.

I just liked it when he touched me. Greatest feeling that I would never get enough of. And soon we would be together in the way we should be.

Thankfully, Brynjolf you are keeping my moral chain strong.


	65. Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf helps Petra return to the living...again.

 

The lass took it pretty hard. To be seen as a monster. Even when you try to argue, the situation sounds too convulsed to make any sense at all. Their daughter was a dragon, but to explain every detail was crucial but I understand it would take time to get your head around. But she knows what to do now and looking at her very being, she'll just bare it. As much as I wanted to blame her parents for their behavior, I can't do much about it until Petra wants to do something about it. Unfortunately we were running out of time.

Zoklotinhaar took control of the sealing process as I had no experience in the fields of magic like him. He soul-trapped her as Ayisha took the Amulet of Akatosh off her neck, turning her back into a dragon soul. She looked at me one last time and the look her eyes was a whirlpool of fear and determination. She wanted to, even if she hated it. Who would in their right mind would even want to? With a type of gem no one has even heard of? I still thought it as suspicious, but the Realm-Walker seemed amiable enough, judging from Petra's descriptions and from so far, what I have seen from her. I'm sorry but I can't help but feel cautious about magic in general, but beat that out of me when I see that it works. Even so, while I liked the Realm-Walker, there were still many disturbing implications about her.

Petra had come to peace with the terms. I didn't like it either, but the priest's told me a series of stories, as did Neme regarding the mysteries of the Soul Cairn. But now it was time to get out of here.

The Priest looked after the the remainder of the procedure after he cast a spell on her. I watched as her soul was quickly absorbed into the Gem itself. When it was all completed, the gem was more golden that it was ever before. I sensed her spirit within and held it close. I wouldn't want anything to happen to it on my watch. I felt a bit of her seep out, perhaps just...for reasons I could only make up, is her letting me know she was still there. Gods I sound sentimental.

I looked at Ayisha and Neme, who were ready to leave this dreadful place. I nodded and we made our way back to the entrance.

* * *

It goes to show the lengths people go to, just anyone, no one in particular, to go as far as to use impossible magics to ensure their own survival or just to use it to dominate and destroy enemies.

The Realm-Walker had given us a second chance, she'd twisted fate on it's head and jumped us further. Though, you think as Petra was, according to the woman, destined to die as one of many realities. The more I got it into my head, the more I was thinking on the logics and falsities of the notion of Petra's own resurrection. Proper, not transforming herself. Was she due to die? Shor knows my heart would be broken, but to break the laws of magic itself, I feel an oncoming consequence for doing so.

Saying that, many months ago I wouldn't have given any of it a second thought. If I knew it was going to be this much trouble, I would have taken myself and Petra down back to Cyrodiil in no time, to stay out of the horrors of the unknown. To a mage, they'd say this would have too many variables...no I'm pretty sure Neme said that in one of her tangents. Still, with every step crucial, I often wonder if we're doing the right thing.

There are facts and there are just the assumptions we cling on to because it's what makes us most comfortable. Then you start to think is this for the benefit for the world or for ourselves? Is there a fallback for our schemes? I don't know and I don't want to know. But I had to. It was necessary to avoid any pitfalls in the near future. I'm not a mage myself but as I have grown in my abilities thanks to the Priest; it makes me feel the strangest sensations I would have never expected myself to bleed from. And here I was thinking it was because I was an Agent of Nocturnal. I was only partially right. But I hadn't known how much worse it had been for me.

I held Petra's gem close to my chest. But emotionally wise, I honestly thought it would let her know I was still there, similar to what she was doing for me, but I have no clue whether or not it would do a damned thing. But you know what, I'd like to think it was bringing the both of us closer. As strange as it sounded.

I started to talk to her alongside Ayisha and Neme, to kill the silence. We started with casual conversation, to get it rolling. Neme thought it was, odd but nice and Ayisha just was as bouncy and cheerful as ever, but also concerned that whether her mama was in pain. I assured her she wasn't, or else we'd hear about it. She kept Petra's Amulet of Akatosh close, perhaps it would be needed again inthe future, but I trust Ayisha's instinct more than my own and she'll know what to do with it when the time came.

Keeping ourselves casual is a strenuous task, given, well, Petra as Dragonborn, Ayisha as Mane of the Khajiit and myself a descendant of Dragon Priests and Talos himself, you wonder how the three of us with such unique..ness ever came together in the first place. Petra told us about how Prolg was carrying an Elder Scroll, one that had recently come into existence according to him and wondered if that anything to do with the three of us. We're all special at least? While I see myself as normal in hindsight, I'm anything but. I still don't have a clue what's going on half the time. It makes the issues with Mercer look like a regular job.

In terms of my own personal emotional state, I was okay. Confused but stable. Don't know about Petra, but I think while she may have been thrown around a lot lately, she's pulled through on each occasion. She's had it worse than me. Aye, she has said herself, she has been broken many times, but in the end she's got tougher armor than before...each mended and repaired and getting stronger.

I wouldn't want her problems wished on anyone, but she's remarkably a better person, despite those major put downs.

I'm probably am thinking ahead of myself, but I long to return to the normality and being content of maintaining the Guild. Adventures are tiring, some are fun but occasionally and in times like these, just mentally wracking. Here's to wishing for a prosperous future for us all...

* * *

We got out of the Cairn and it was an instant breath of fresh air. The volume of being back in Tamriel was more welcoming than it'd ever been. Karliah wandered up to me, wanting to know the latest. I believed she felt she had an obligation to ensure her guild members were sound and functional.

"How did you go? Did you find her?" She asked me. She was more anxious than normal, though she had cared a lot about Petra too.

I pulled the golden soul gem out of my front pocket.

"Aye, got it right here. That Altmer still around?" I asked.

She nodded and ushered me over to Petra's body.

Wandering over there, I took a glance of her face. She looked as peaceful as ever. The Altmer and the mute lass watched over her body with study. He turned to me, seeing the gem in my hand and suddenly he was...how can I describe it...overenthused?

"Oh good! Good you're back AND have you have the soul gem. That's brilliant, I was worried for a moment there that you wouldn't have been able to pull it off. No, actually, my associate here thought that." The Elf announced. The mute lass just glared at him. A bit of tension there between the two. Funny.

"So...how do we go about this?" I asked him. I needed to know. I needed to do it right.

"The Realm-Walker mentioned before about breaking the crystal above her."

This had better work.

"Yes, yes...the soul should go back to it's rightful place I assume. Let's see...anything else...uhh...love anything we need to be aware of?" He said, trailing off before turning to her.

The lass stood next to him and, I didn't know what they doing, exchanging glances. I'm surprised he was actually, at least in my opinion, understanding her. I think.

"Oh..yeah...got to set up the barriers. Just make sure the soul doesn't end up going rogue. No one's fault...we've done this before and it just...likes getting messy...but we'll get it done for sure." He assured us. Hmmm... like that gives me a load of confidence. I myself was wary of the whole idea. I had reason to doubt, but no one else had anything better. Like with Nocturnal, I was ready to take chances.

The Elf set up a circular blue construct around us, to either to protect ourselves or everyone else. They'd seen what was going on and observed from a distance. Who knows what was going to happen. But if it was going to bring Petra back, I was willing to try.

The mute lass carefully adjusted Petra's body as she moved it out of the coffin, with the elf moving the coffin off the stone bed and the lass placing her carefully down with her hands resting on her chest. Still beautiful even in death.. The Elf turned to me again.

"Okay we're ready to go when you are. Just stand above and...just smash the gem to bits really. I may have said it was complicated...I actually meant I had to make sure we remembered the procedure. But don't worry! This is how it works! Definitely. Also, you may need this dagger. It's not enchanted, since anything enchanted may permanently damage the soul. Learned that the hard way."

I rolled my eyes. Don't make me feel any worse than I do lad...anyway. I looked at the dagger, elven of origin.

I held the gem in my hands. I wouldn't want this to go wrong, but past experiences made it seemingly so. And it was, for most part, for the Realm-Walker's words that dug into me deep as a blade, to see whether fate can still be changed.

But you see, The Dragonborn is supposed to make her own fate. Somehow. I had reason to believe how dubious that may be, but then again, she can chose to do this. I wanted to think there wouldn't be any consequences for doing so, but logically, I can't help but think that way. I imagine myself, holding on to hope but it is dragged down by incertitude covered with personal experiences.

This was necessary. Not because I loved her, but for everyone else who cared for her and the world that needed her alive. I just wanted to convince myself that this was for the good of the future and not for my own selfish needs.

I took a deep breath. I threw the gem up into the air and swung the dagger, shattering the gem to pieces.

A massive force of energy exploded from it, pushing me to the ground to my surprise, as it began as a vortex and was barely contained inside within the barrier. He was right, it would be a struggle. However he and the mute lass used magic to focus the energies within Petra. Her soul ran rampant, probably not used to being like this. I could feel it from her, on how painful it must be.

Eventually, their struggles won it over, sending all remaining remnants back into Petra's body. They puffed and panted, patting each others' backs and smiling. I think that's a sign that it might have worked?

I sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to look at Petra's face. It warmed slightly, becoming less pale. I touched her chhek, feeling a surge run through me.

I waited anxiously, as precious seconds turned into eternity, before her eyes suddenly opened as she took huge gasps of air, straining to breath as her chest rose and fell at rapid intervals, thrashing violently. I held onto her hands as she took back her own reality and adjusted herself to the living once more. She flailed briefly as she tried to make sense of where she was. I took her into my arms and hugged her, trying to settle her down from the shock.

"I...I...I'm alive..." She wheezed. I rubbed her back. While it was nice to feel her when she was a dragon, this...was a bit less awkward. I was almost overwhelmed, but I can contain my excitement...mostly.

"You are lass, you are..." I whispered.

I had a grin from ear to ear, seeing Karliah come before us and sit down. The lass lifted her head up and let go of me, to hug the Dunmer.

"I love my job sometimes." The High Elf commented.

* * *

While this was all okay and I wanted to believe we were okay, it'd take time for Petra to readjust. She wasn't dead for that long, but...as I was told, death can change people. And Petra's experiences as that of a Vampire were not at all too dissimilar, but but to lose ones spirit entirely. It's torture.

But it was always good to see her back. My heart ached for her return and her just being there made me feel a lot better. She was smiling even and warmed me all over.

After taking the moment to collect herself, Karliah gathered us all up to determine what our next move would be. Petra explained what had happened and had called out of any ideas on the matter.

It was interesting to see all the members of the Guild making their own personal contributions. Most of them looked up to Petra a bit differently now, seeing her as an important figure in her own right. None of them were totally prepared for this sort of issue but they were setting aside for the sake of one of the own, which to me, is incredibly surprising, given their own self-centered desires and penchant of being total chumps.

None of them would completely understand the whole ordeal. Even I consider it to be almost as puzzling as it was. We were dealing with ancient mythological creatures, daedra and Gods here and magics considered never even dreamed of. According to Karliah, Paarthurnax had to return to the Throat of the World to watch over Skyrim and would let us know if anything came up. I still can't get over decent and reasonable dragons...

The Elf and the Mute Lass stood afar, observing on behalf of their master I presume. But we made do.

"You're in most of this Petra." Said Karliah. "Having taken what you told us into consideration, I'm needed back at the Guild to maintain order and to give a sense of normalcy to those who do not wish to be involved, but you do have access to our resources as you need them. I think Delvin wants to speak up about it. Delvin?" 

Delvin nodded. I would figure Delvin would be another to keep a level head on matters. But more accepting of the mostly strange attributes than I.

"Though we have gained a foothold in the major holds, we also have connections with the Dark Brotherhood. I'll get in contact with Astrid and see if she's willing to lend us a hand." He stated.

Petra smiled. I personally wouldn't get them involved but we'll need all the help we can at this stage. We all knew it was getting too dangerous.

"That's fine with me Delvin. Much appreciated." She thanked.

Months ago she would brush it off, but I think she has a better love for living more than ever. Death may change you, but for Petra it would seem to make her have a better attitude for life instead of needlessly wanting to throw it away for stupid reasons.

I think it's safe to say everyone jumped as a violet orb appeared in the room, revealing a familiar face as they walked out.

"Realm-Walker?" Petra muttered. I almost forgot I still had the ring.

She strutted towards us as her eyes lifted from the floor, to the direction to the group of thieves and numbskulls before her. Several of them made comments about her apparent beauty and hair, Vex wondering how she could get our face-sculptor to do that.

"You have done as requested. Support is crucial as the heart that needs it." She stated, her voice holding that strange, mystical authority.

"I will send most of you back to Riften now. Like Karliah has mentioned, Petra will need all the help she can get. Nothing like this is ever easy, but you have my full confidence. Even if my elven servant here doesn't look like it as such."

The Elf appeared offended.

"Hey! I contained the field this time!" He shouted.

The mute lass crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. I seriously believe she would have had to put up with this nonsense quite a bit. I could see Delphine, watching closely nearby approach Petra herself and have a little conversation.

"This...has been wild from start to finish. I was a bit worried there." She commented.

It was far from over...

"I'm fine Delphine. Sorry to have caused much concern for everyone." Petra said.

I've known Delphine myself for a while. She kept to herself mostly, but I knew her little secrets. She'd known Mercer as well, back in the day. I knew as one of the infamous Blades that the Thalmor were after. She'd come down to us one day, pleading for protection detail. Mercer had me handle the situation for her and surprisingly we'd become decent allies. What is it with me and protecting people? Comes to me more often than actually doing what I supposed to be doing. It's uncanny.

"Do you have a plan? I was going to see if if the Thalmor have any information regarding the dragons. If they're allied with Prolg, then it's best to sift through their documents and figure out where we stand." The Blade suggested.

The Thalmor?

"Okay then. I'll meet you back in Riverwood I presume." Petra continued.

* * *

We said our goodbyes and thanks to the others for...well, being there and helping out I suppose. A lot of them I also suspect to have some kind of mental outlook adjustment. But they were all willing to help, and even Sapphire herself was going to pray to Nocturnal to give Petra the luck she needed.

We might be scum, but we're scum who stick together through the best and worst times. We're family where family never even existed.

The Realm-Walker sent the others on their way with a simple wave of her hand, smiling as they were transplanted back to Riften, as well as Delphine back to Riverwood. Then we suddenly found ourselves alone once more. Oh and Ayisha was still here. I forgot to mention how over elated she was to have Petra back. Girls really taken such a liking to her as they hugged. Such a tender sight I wanted to punch myself in the face to feel manly again. I joke of course.

"So what's the go?" Petra asked the Realm-Walker.

The lass pondered with her arms crossed and a lot of impatient finger tapping.

"You're back. Which is good. I'm glad that worked." She stated.

I furrowed my brow.

"Wait, you weren't sure if it would?" I said, bringing back to mind with what the Altmer said.

She smirked and brushed it off.

"Or course I was sure. However each realm has their little differences. I had to fine tune a few things. But I have told you before not to stress, we have it under control." She responded, trying to defend herself.

She pissed me off sometimes. I think she treated this like a game.

"Aye, so...what do we do?" I asked.

She looked at Petra.

"I believe Delphine already suggested it." The Realm-Walker answered.

My lass rose an eyebrow.

"What? Seeing if the Thalmor were involved? This is about Prolg and Alduin? What in Oblivion does the Thalmor have to do with it?" Petra complained. I agreed. I saw the High Elf attempting to open his mouth, only for the mute to cover his face before he said anything legible. I groaned.

"Let him speak. I want to hear it." I told her outright. I'm tired of all the secrecy.

Except she gave a small chuckle. Ugh.

"I can push you in that direction, but I have to let events unfold as they should. All you have to be concerned with is that by following Delphine's lead, she's bound to start it off. Trust me on this. I know it's not much to sate your appetites but you will find out." She said.

Honestly did not know what it was.

( _"Fate. She's letting fate take it's course."_ )

I was wondering where you were.

( _"I'd rather be isolating myself. I'll let you get back to it."_ )

"I think I want to go to High Hrothgar first. Speak with the Greybeards." Petra stated.

The Realm-Walker shrugged.

"By all means. Get yourselves sorted." She said. "Don't get angry with me because I'm not telling you everything. If I did, then you'd make the situation worse. I can tell you that you're better off doing it this way to make sure you have what you need. Trust your instinct. But I'll send you both ahead. Farewell!"

And with that, the three of us had been cast to the south, to the monastery once more.

* * *

Petra was insistent on speaking with Arngeir about the issue and so she did. She conversed with him, as Ayisha and I stood nearby. Of course, he didn't know much. She mentioned the Elder Scroll, and all he said is that he wouldn't be surprised that would even be involved as such, but...

Petra was notably tired. She'd exhausted herself. It was getting late and I wanted her to rest and to have a clear head in the morning. The Greybeards offered beds to us, as it had been a very long few days for all of us. I gave her back her ring, which amused her for some reason. But it was given to her after all.

We laid on separate beds, since they didn't really have double beds, but we slept nonetheless. We kissed each other goodnight, albeit Petra just felt a bit off. It was good to have her back, but I sense she's just tense at the moment.

Although I did wake up in the middle of the night to see that she had gotten out of bed. I looked around as Ayisha was still awake and in the middle of reading.

"Ayisha, you seen mama lass?" I asked her.

She smiled.

"Mama went up to the top to see Paarthurnax. Mama wasn't sleeping very well." She answered.

In the middle of the night?

( _"The road to the top of treacherous. I'll fly up if you want."_ )

That would be very kind of you priest...

I took Ayisha with me as Zoklot summoned the raven wings from the armour of his I was still wearing, but I had placed a robe around it, hiding sigils and so forth. Arngeir didn't question it previously, though he had suspected it as such. I'd gotten to the top, holding the Khajiit in my arms and saw a word wall. I wandered around, feeling a strange aura about the place. The night was calm and the sky was clear with emerald auroras floating about. I could see Paarthurnax laying there, looking upwards. I let Ayisha go as we walked over to him.

"Petra around?" I asked.

He looked at me and smirked. He lifted his wing, and I saw Petra laying down underneath it on her bed roll. She looked more content there as the dragon blanketed her. I suppose...it made it easier for her? Heh...the very fear that comforted her. It was a nice contrast. Amusing.

I let Ayisha take her spot as she wriggled herself into Petra's arms. Petra must have been woken or half-asleep as she adjusted herself. It really was an amusing sight.

I wandered over as well and laid behind her, putting my arm around her and cuddling her from behind, kissing her on the back of her head. She adjusted again, grabbing my hand and holding tightly.

Thankfully, we didn't need to blanket to warm us as Paarthurnax lowered his wing.


	66. No Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra meets Hahnubopraan in the Laaglein, who reveals something interesting regarding Alduin.

 

My eyes hide behind a few bangs of hair that never seem to fit into my ponytail properly.

Just like not matter how hard you try, you can't conceal everything.

I'm a closed book with a title on my face, author on my lips and blurb on the back. Even if you don't tell them everything, they're going to know what you're about by reading you briefly.

I'm not aiming for perfection or rave reviews. Frankly I'd rather people not read me at all. But Brynjolf was interested. The Realm-Walker was interested. Delphine, Arngeir and Paarthurnax were interested. Might as well add Durnehviir to the raw crowd of people, whom were able to understand the language I was written in. And don't mind the imperfections that lay within.

You can't judge someone from what they are and what they look like, but what they do. For some reason, I've compelled people to care. Not that I wanted them to in the first place, I do appreciate their concerns, even when they might just be over the top.

I read Brynjolf all the same. Sort of. I'd like to think I could. But I was right in predicted that he'd come up to the top and find me sleeping underneath Paarthurnax wing. I was hoping to get back to the Laaglein on my own and collect my thoughts.

I was originally seated in some other part of the realm. Peaceful nonetheless. It resembled the interior of the Golden Soul Gem, since that was the only place of note that was isolated and quiet. Not a bad thing but...

Inside the Gem itself, like where I am in the Laaglein, is postively glowing in strange glowing energies. It had the look of ice, but of a yellow hue. Crystals floated everywhere in bizarre shapes and sizes, but beyond that, everything in the skies was blurred and distant, no roof or sky to be seen.

But the platforms for which I meditated were similar shapes, tiles like octagons. Still had that icy golden glow to those as well. Not much to describe really, but the mystical founts for which it poured out and the cavern like form it took. You could stand on the edge and see on forever...or more floating crystals...that sort of thing. Most of the octagonal towers peered up from below, like mountains. Some were connected by bridges others you had to make your own way there. It was peaceful enough, hearing the sweet chimes on a low frequencies that just made it more pleasant and tingly.

To be alone here...was comforting somewhat. I knew where I was and can leave at any time, but...it allowed my thoughts to traverse here and there. To manage myself as to what had happened in the Soul Cairn.

I had felt death and the life-changing transformation into a dragon. Life, death...everything in between. An oddity that I had been pushed around for goodness knows how long. I've been battered and brused many times but...when I was stabbed one last time, and for some reason it's always underneath my left breast, that split moment...from life to death and your mind is thrown around trying cling onto your spirit. But it's that emptiness in between that is the scariest part.

I am in physical form once more, but...I can't help but think of what was left behind. I died and was brought back but a piece of me was either missing, or it's something else. I didn't want to know.

* * *

I was visited by Hahnubopraan who perched himself on a nearby tower, skinny thing that gravity simply did not exist for. He stared at me briefly with a studying intention, obviously noticing me in such a strange place.

"Dovahkiin, your presence had made some us unnerved." He told me.

I should have known. Things never stay the same. Or what ever I did Fellnir, I wonder if that was felt elsewhere.

"Perhaps I should have stayed dead." I said sarcastically.

"On the contrary. We felt your transformations within the Soul Cairn. Your mind intertwined with the Laaglein. Your dragon spirit...it became a Jen Dovah didn't it?"

I looked up at him. Figures dragons themselves were more in tune with this stuff than us mere mortals.

"Yeah...I guess so. Is that a significance to you?" I queried.

"Jen Dovah are guardians of the Laaglein." He revealed. "We once served Alduin. Some still do. But we're the ones maintaining the dream realm with honour for what it means to us, rather to what Alduin proposed we do...Al fin hahdrim un paal kos sahlo... destroy the minds that enter so that our foes may be weakened."

That was disturbing. Though Alduin taking these avenues...he reached far to defeat the old nords.

"So, wait...were you created because or by Alduin or..." I theorised, puzzled.

"Jen Dovah are children of Akatosh like you. Upon creation, all dovah were shades of amethyst. We were new to the world and were meant to protect it and tiid, time itself. Alduin himself was once like us." He said with some sadness.

And that was...surprising. I've never read anything that dates back to the dragons creation before. I need to write this stuff down, if I bother to remember it.

"So what forced the changes?" I queried.

"Most Dovah evolved or were...changed after Alduin had come across a Kel, or...Elder Scroll." He continued.

Now that wasn't out of Alduin's power if I knew him well enough. Well I didn't, but going how things were, it would take something as outlandish as a Scroll to corrupt a person.

"We remember what most dov don't. We were ancient protectors of the land, tenders to time and to make sure it flowed ever onward. An Elder Scroll had warped Alduin and transformed him into a God. Some believe he may have been tempted by the Daedra in doing so, but for what purpose is unclear."

This sounds awfully familiar from the stories around the Nerevarine's time if recall reading about them correctly.

"So...I take it he got majority of the dragons the powers they needed? That's why they follow him?" I asked.

"There's that. And that he was first born. Heir to lead our brethren in the eternities we were burdened with. Your spirit happens to be the raw energy that the dov once possessed. Most of it was forsaken when Alduin took lead." He said, unhappy with that as well.

I crossed my arms and contemplated. So I had more knowledge about Dragons that few would ever know.

"We remain in the great sleep to honour our duties. To watch over time like we were supposed to. Some of the Jen Dovah who opposed to Alduin's revolution were slain. Once he was cast on the currents and came back, some of them submitted their allegiances to ensure their lives would be spared."

I was also trying to think of Alduin as a purple dragon. Interesting. But a previous discussion with Prolg reminded me of the Elder Scroll he possessed.

"Tell me something...the guy we're after, some maniac from the Cult of Slaughter, showed off an Elder Scroll to me, said it was going to force me to change. I'd become a dragon, but obviously not the one he wanted. He stated I needed to cut off ties with Nocturnal...since Stendarr would most likely not accept me due to that. Would that have anything to do with the Elder Scroll you mentioned?" I put forth as I connected the dots.

He lowered his head, I figured he was doing the same.

"Hmm...so the Rah Kel, the Divine Elder Scroll makes it's return in the end of ages...it's plausible." He said.

I rose an eyebrow. Something didn't make sense.

"So, they have this Elder Scroll that corrupted Alduin and now they want to corrupt me with it. What gives?" I stated with annoyance.

Hahnubopraan appeared distant and unsure.

"Alduin is indeed a mighty dovah. He used the scroll to allow him to resurrect dead Dovah and perhaps a whole range of abilities we don't know about. " He continued to stated.

Logic be damned. But I can figure someone as egotistical as him would dabble in absolute resurrection rather than necromancy. Then I realized...

"But..wouldn't he want to use the Scroll on himself and not me? It is a Divine scroll...I would make myself invincible with that. But they wanted me as a dragon because Alduin demanded it. I'm trying to wrap my head around it." I said.

I wondered if it made sense to him too.

"Other dov would tell you the scroll turned him mad. Be wary Dovahkiin, going from your previous actions, you're risking going down the same path as he. We will guide you and you're lucky to find Paarthurnax a reasonable figure. The others are just as warped as Alduin himself. Paarthurnax struggles with the madness everyday." He said.

Poor dear. I wouldn't want to imagine his struggles. A part of me felt guilty in a way. But too many questions needed answers.

"Why wouldn't Alduin want to face me like that is my real question. Wouldn't it just be easier to kill me now? I haven't seen him in a while and yet his name is spoken all the time. Where is he?" I asked.

Hahnubopraan looked conflicted. Oh Gods, what now?

"Alduin plots and plans constantly." Hahnu said. "But he also comes here to find like-minded beings. Or he'll consume them. Ruth wah gruth. A lot more live spirits here than in Sovngarde. Or...no...more strong ones he believes will consume their strength as well."

I gulped. Great nice to know that now...

"Oh crap..." I muttered under my breath.

"No need to be concerned, Dovahkiin." He assured. "He cannot reach us here. The Laaglein is cast with the likelihood of him finding you is slim. But his journey for destruction has made him hungry. He will come between here and Sovngarde, as well as Skyrim to resurrect a dovah once in a while."

I sighed. Fantastic...really.

"If Alduin wants me, he just has to come and get me. I want to pay him back for Helgen." I boasted.

I'd sooner slay him than deal with all this Thalmor nonsense.

"You are eager I see. Hmm...I cannot tell you where he is. But I recommend not fighting him here. Too much instability would destroy the both of you and time itself would most likely collapse." Said Hahnu, ever so cautious.

Always an obstacle. Always.

"Well thank you general impracticality. But...do you think I'll have to cut ties with Nocturnal to do what he wanted?" I wondered.

Hahnubopraan shrugged. I'm trying to get the idea why, if Prolg's words about Stendarr not agreeing with something translated into something more obscure.

"I am not sure. Krosis. I have not seen the procedure, as it would have offended our father for these unholy transformations of our people. But I am aware it has implications of the Laaglein and the Vennesetiid; Currents of Time that it protects." He said.

So...what did it...huh?

"Wait, so the dream world protects the timestream? How?" I asked, curious and considerably confused.

"The Laaglein is the wall between worlds. It's instability in structure, allows worlds to link with one another. As well as the time streams that exist." He replied.

That would...sort of explain the Realm-Walker but...

"So the Elder Scroll discriminates because Nocturnal is part of Oblivion, an unnatural sort of realm the Laaglein wouldn't be associated with?" I wondered, just taking a jab.

"The realms of Oblivion are always forever linked with Tamriel and the rest of Nirn." He said. "But this isn't to do with that..I might suggest it's a Gods decision. They simply won't do it. Maybe they see it as a challenge, I cannot say. If you can avoid it then you'll deny Alduin his chance. However, I would sense his impatience on the matter and create collateral damage until you found him"

I was afraid of that. To an extent, he sounds like a spoiled child with a tantrum if he didn't get his way.

"It is my destiny to slay him. The world would be doomed either way, if I refused or if I died. But...if he fought me like I was now, of fragile, mortal flesh, wouldn't it be easier?" I recapped, asking what I said earlier.

Hahnubopraan became uneased.

"Alduin has always been the odd brother in his tactics and ways to proceed and always hard to read. He knows you have slain those from down below. Paarthurnax knows more about that than I." He replied.

I nodded. I guess, odd equals insane in this case.

"Okay that would make sense if he knew. I'm just trying to find out why?" I pointed out.

The Dragon nodded. Insanity is a good clause to most problems and decisions but even someone with such madness had to have a logic behind, no matter how crazy that logic was.

"If I were you I would just kill him and not worry about the rest, lest your mind implode from an overload of illogicality and impossibilities. You need to get what needs to be done. It is up to you how you approach Alduin. Either way, you must be destined to succeed somehow." He said.

I rose an eyebrow.

"If I were to die though?" I pointed out. As in, die for real with no Realm-Walker or Brynjolf to save me.

Hahnu blinked, as he potted the question in his head.

"You have already died before. The world itself would have to find a way, although it may not be in a way you would either expect, or even like. So...get it done, before it's too late to change anything..."

* * *

I woke up that morning, feeling Bryn from behind as he cuddled me. Ayisha had disappeared. She wouldn't have gone far. I liked the warm feeling of him being there, the benefits of being one of the living again. Though despite the nonsense he put me through, I knew it wasn't his fault. I don't feel any different to him. But from what Prolg said, how my love awakened the priest? I was skeptical and felt that he was so full of shit. I just had to be wary of Zoklot. Whether I convinced him entirely, Brynjolfs actions indicate that there must be some kind of agreement between the two. I've never had another person inside my head before so I can't imagine what it feels like. But he had himself around me with a big goofy grin that I couldn't help but smile at. He was content being there and obviously made no attempts to push me away, but then my thoughts went back to Prolg.

I had thought about his words greatly. The Elder Scroll that can take you to Godhood. Imagine the real power. But I'm still trying to think why he wanted me to be a dragon to fight him. He already had a huge ego. There may be a thousand guesses, but none of them would be right.

It made me think of when Brynjolf suggested the reasons why the Gods chose me to be Dragonborn. A very similar situation. I am destined to it because they knew I would make the right choice in the end.

Maybe that choice was to decide how we were going to do it. Didn't matter why. It just had to happen.

As mortal you would want to know reasons for actions but...I would rather my head not explode any further, as Hahnu suggested.

I shuffled myself around and placed my arm around Brynjolf. He pulled me in closer and made a grumpy groan. I grinned at him trying to get decent sleep. If this were any other day and at another place with just us two, I would begin inevitably teasing him. Why? Does there need to be a reason?

I wanted to convince myself to not be obsessed with reasons, since the evidence is there already about what was going to happen eventually. It would basically continue to bog me down as is. You would say to think about your actions and their corresponding consequences but even so, you know what the consequences are anyway. Because that's your intended action in the first place. For some people.

They would have a goal in mind for sure, conscious, subconscious. What ever. I would continue to follow the leads because that's what I had, not to investigate why. I had to trust what ever came my way and only question it if necessary. I'd fall back into the habit but if it helps prevent hesitation then so be it.

I kissed Brynjolf with soft, supple lips, trying to give him a pleasant thought in his head. Instead, he responded with his own, trying to beat me at my own game.

"You always make for a good start to the morning." He muttered as I felt his grin.

I bit my lip. Oh geez you charmer.

"You always make for a good sight to see. You always make interesting faces as you sleep." I teased.

He was annoyed by that as he scowled.

"I do not lass." He said in his defense. He's so cute when he does that.

I chuckled and gave him another peck.

"What ever you say, lord grumpy." I joked.

He gave me a playful glare before giving me a rougher kiss. It was a bit arousing and I would certainly love to play around but sadly, not at this stage.

"Gentle, gentle..." I told him.

His cheeky, flirty smile always did things to me.

"Sorry lass. Just really glad to have you back." He commented. Glad to have him back too.

We shuffled ourselves out from underneath Paarthurnax's wing, who greeted us as we made ourselves known. Ayisha was busy meditating, legs crossed as she sat by the edge of the mountain. I'd rather not her sit there but she wasn't clumsy for her age.

The skies were clear enough to see Whiterun down below. I had a feeling it wouldn't be long until we'd journey there again. But up here just positively breathtaking and not because of the very image of my red-headed bastard. Brynjolf and I stood next to each other, looking downwards.

"We'd better get back to work then eh?" Brynjolf questioned.

I agreed.

"You're right. Let's go see Delphine."

And thankfully hoping there wouldn't be any incident on the way there.


	67. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf and Petra spend the night at the Winking Skeever, as they work on their acting skills and horrible metaphors.

 

We got to Riverwood relatively quickly. The lass herself was eager to get this over and done with. It makes me happy to see fire in her heart. It's been quenched so many times but she'll relight it again in no time. Me? I was...overwhelmed with guilt. I wasn't strong enough for her. And I let her down greatly. That's not a thing a man does to his woman, is break that unique bond of love and trust you don't share with anyone else. She accepted me back without hesitation. It gave me a chance to try again and make sure I was strong enough this time.

I feel bad myself for forcing her to save me. Although I am grateful, it's not something I ever want to force upon her. She's not fragile, just vulnerable. She's not a thing, but a living creature, and living creatures can heal. Wounds never disappear but she's living proof of her tenacity.

She seemed cheerful enough, though that wouldn't be the right word to use. It's more of a lively sort of attitude she had, ultimately serious with her head up.

I'm usually like that. Normally am. I always had my head up during the Guild's darker days. Because people are able to snuff out the lack of confidence that way. Some days were easy, others took effort to fake. But lately it was mostly about finding sense within myself again and dealing with the troubles that laid ahead.

As Petra, Ayisha and I headed towards Riverwood, we'd remained ourselves and gave off the air of assertiveness. We didn't actually know what was going to happen just yet but we knew we'd give it a try and take on the challenges that it brought. That wasn't the issue. It was just absorbing loads of information about ourselves and about the world we live in. The darker corners of life itself that man was not meant to know.

We'd been exposed to many, many alarming subjects over the past couple of months. And we'd felt the impact of it more than it was necessary. We're alive at least, but some parts there queried that and left us alone to deal with it. We've had help of course, but more often than not it required us to act on instinct.

Meaning, dealing with unforeseen magics and just the general crap the Guild's dealt with since Mercer's atrocities. Not that it mattered now that it happened and at this rate, it wasn't going to stop. But as I said, we'll take it as it comes...

* * *

Delphine welcomed us into her tavern and took us downstairs to her little shelter. Delvin organized that for her. Looked homely enough, I guess. But enough to plan operations. But as a Blade, Delphine is more subject to scrutiny and is hunted by the Thalmor constantly. I wouldn't put it past her if she and Karliah exchanged tips on how to hide. But Karliah's would have been a lot harder, considering the Guild has many contacts and if she made a wrong move then she would have been caught. With good reason.

The Breton lass had arranged for Petra to go the Thalmor Embassy in the north west. I wasn't happy about it, obviously. To speak with some Bosmer called Malborn. The plan was to get inside the Embassy to find possible records. Petra was a bit annoyed about having to do it. Nobody liked the Thalmor but this should be the least of our concerns. Well, she should take it seriously for the moment and worry about that part later.

My only concern was Maven. She was well connected with the Empire and by extension, the Thalmor. If she snuffed Petra out it would be an issue. I highly doubt it, since she would consider Petra a valuable asset to the Blackbriar Family. At least, I would think so by now for all the trouble she went through to deal with Goldenglow and Honningbrew.

But other than that, if Petra pulled it off then with no doubt would she able to get on top of it in no time. She's an expert sneak.

Because of my connections with Maven and that it wouldn't be the first time that the Thalmor had visited the Ratway, me being there would be a dead giveaway to what we were up to. Petra would be on her own. She understood that completely. I keep forgetting that while she complained about the Thalmor, she took this as any other job. An order. Those that she follows quite well. So who was I to get in her way?

We took our horses to Solitude to meet up with this Malborn at the Winking Skeever, who took the stuff she needed to smuggle inside. She nodded, giving the rather, paranoid wood elf her gear and acknowledging the task ahead. He took her things and made his way to the Embassy.

She felt lost without her precious weaponry as it was whisked away, leaving her with not much else other than her normal armour and so forth. We were to meet Delphine in the morning, as this so called party, had been arranged around noon.

Ayisha was quite disappointed she couldn't come with us. She remained with Delphine. I think Petra was quite anxious to be separated from her, but we both knew it would be for the best. I'd catch up with them at first, then keep my distance from the Embassy to keep an eye on progress just in case anything went south.

We rented a room out at the inn and settled ourselves in there. It'd been a long day of planning and plotting. Neither of us knew what we would find, but I'll remain complacent, then wait and see what Petra would bring out. We had something to eat and headed upstairs to rest.

"I'm trying to think what the Realm-Walker and Delphine herself wonder why that the Thalmor have anything to do with the Dragons returning? It's Alduin...simple as that." Petra noted. 

"Did she not realize what was going on on Fellnir? I even said that he's the big wig, but she suggested its good to check up on the old enemy...I dunno..."

I nodded. We laid on the bed together and just looked up the roof with our hands behind our heads. It was more comfortable, but you couldn't beat looking up at the stars. Now that's just really corny. Apologies.

"Aye, could be anything. They've always been on peoples nerves and punish anyone harshly for worshiping Talos. Father explained that it was for religious reasons, the High Elves believing a man can't ascend to become a God. I wonder if that's true." I queried.

Petra rubbed her chin. Lass appeared to have a lot on her mind. Like she always did.

"I'd spoken with Hahnubopraan last night." She revealed. "He said Alduin used an Elder Scroll to make himself and other dragons powerful. Maybe it's got something to do with that. Do you think Tiber Septim used that very scroll himself to become Talos the God?"

I really didn't know. None of the lessons father taught me, nor any of the books I read, even suggested that. But, if some Amethyst Dragon said it was, then they may be our most valuable resource. I was surprised she'd met him. Then again, I wasn't.

"Dunno, might have been some attempt to glorify him to where he ascended, but I wouldn't put past that if the Dragons used it once before." I theorized.

She agreed. Going from what we know about dragons so far, it was likely.

"True." She said. "They're always looking for excuses the make them all seem high and mighty."

Sounded like both the Dragons and the Thalmor if you'd ask me. Two arrogant factions with both the idea that the lesser minds wouldn't understand. 

"Yeah they'll do that." I replied.

She shifted to her side and looked at me with a smile. It was something that was warm and inviting. I missed that. I missed just simply relaxing with her in a stage where we could afford it. The look in her eyes suggested the calm pools, her mind, its reflection. 

"Makes you think though doesn't it? I mean an Elder Scroll that makes you into a God? If that's in existence, were all the Gods turned this way? I mean, it's a possibility." She wondered. I know the main story that's agreed upon with the origin of Mundus and Nirn like the common populace, but...I've seen crazier.

"I wouldn't put much thought into it. It'd drive you mad otherwise." I warned her.

She smirked and walked two of her fingers on my chest, with each...tip step feeding fire through me.

"You drive me mad Bryn..." She said to me with a sighing breath.

I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not.

"Uhh...well...sorry. I really am." I replied with shame.

She patted my chest. I really was sorry. I feel especially bad for losing control. I recall crying, because of the amount of pain I was in, trying to win a losing battle.  
Then seeing her fight so hard with the dragons, the fire she cast herself was brighter and hotter than it should have been and the only thing on my mind was that she was going to get herself killed.

Then she did.

She still kept fighting even if I was lost to the void and she died for my sake. One of my greatest fears had come to fruition and if it hadn't have been for the Realm-Walkers interference I would just stayed where I was and not force myself awake, preferring to dream and pretend everything was okay.

"I'm not blaming you for anything. I'll blame Prolg and Alduin and everyone else who put us into this mess. I know you truly wouldn't want to hurt me." She told me.

I felt so undeserving of her love and trust. She looked at me with those eyes, their ripples changing, pleading me to relax and take comfort that she still loved me. I wanted to keep her. I still had my Amulet of Mara with me somewhere, but I had to find the appropriate time to tell her. I wouldn't want to burden her with all that nonsense. I wanted to wait for a bit. See how things turn out first.

I wanted to let the tension go, then I think about the uncertainty of our futures...and where they would lead us.

She adjusted herself again, much to my chagrin and put herself on top of me. She gave me a cheeky grin before kissing me. And it was one of those long, paced kisses. I enjoyed those. It seemed like she was in one of those moods and we had been destined for a warm night. I could feel it. I wouldn't say no.

But then I thought about the big one in my head and worried if he was going to be traumatized by all this. You still there Priest?

_("Don't mind me. I'm sheltering enough here. My spirit is elsewhere trust me.")_

You sure? I actually don't want you to interfere either. Promise me that.

_("This is your body after all.")_

Now that that's out of the way, the way that Petra breathed through her nose heavily and brushed against my face was kind of cute. I sifted a hand through her hair and the other on her back. She tasted the same as before, sweet from mead and from tonight's dinner that consisted of well cooked beef and vegetables.

We were gentle with one another for the moment, feeling warmer in my heart, head and groin. My hand slid down her back and then gripped one of her cheeks. I then felt her smile as we continued to kiss. You think you'd get used to it, but you don't. Each separate feeling distinct and highly enjoyable.

We both removed the top parts of our armor with a bit of difficulty, but we got there eventually then resumed to kiss each other senseless. My hand went back to her hair, wanting to take it out of it's pony tail.

"Go on..." She muttered.

I had the honor of grabbing the hair tie and putting it on the side table. I liked watching her hair fall down past her shoulders. I liked to see that part of her she was not afraid to show me. It wasn't the first nor would it be the last (I hope) but I am still forever blessed to be by her side, through thick and thin.

The past few days were behind us and nothing could bore me of those horrible memories and the very raw feeling of her dying. And it was my fault no matter what Petra might claim.

I wanted her to be mad, I wanted her to hit me and yell and scream because that way I'll see that she's rightfully angry for what I had done, as long as I know, to be stronger for her.

She rubbed her crotch against mine, with the awkward bits of our leather pants getting in the way. I went to go take them off before she slapped me. Huh?

"What's wrong lass?" I asked her. Damn it, it was pleading for escape and proper skin-to-skin touches.

But she bit her lip, staring at me as she sat up with her hands on my chest. She started to rub me with her splayed hands. I whimpered like damned fool. By Shor Petra, what were you up to?

"Looking for a stress release tonight. but in a way that suits me..and your current frame of mind. I know within yourself that you feel you deserve to be punished. I personally don't, but at the moment you're...so tensed up with it that I've decided you want to be punished." She said with sultry in her tone.

My face reddened, but, I smiled. This sounded more interesting than I had imagined. My own guilty conscience must have been showing. No matter. This sent ripples through me anyway, the way she worded it. To get the brunt of her word, her laws that I had unwillingly broke. I let her take the lead, since she had more experience in this than I.

"I am at your mercy lass." I joked.

She gave off a seductive and devious grin.

"Good."

She took off her pants, and remaining bra and underwear, leaving herself exposed on top of me. I wanted to kiss her all over. I wanted to touch her all over. But...she had somehow gotten leather from the drawers nearby. Had she planned this? Anyway, she had gotten up and tied my arms and legs to the bed. Gods...seriously Petra? It made me more aroused than nervous. But it was something different I suppose...

She then sat back on top of me, her knees on the sides of my hips. She sucked on her fingers. My eyes were fixated on how much saliva was draped around her index and middle fingers. How in Dibella's name did she manage to make that so attractive?

She trailed her fingers down her chest, past her stomach and around the patch of her...ahem...self. She began to stroke, where I had stroked once before, causing her to bite her lip to withhold her moans. Her breath hitched as she went agonizingly slow. Damn it Petra...I watched her, knowing that I longed for the same burning feeling but...this was part of the punishment. The denial of the pleasure and hunger that is desperate to be sated.

Not long after she slipped her fingers within and began to work their magic. Her body jumped slightly with each curl she made. I had been in there and she was denying my chance to do so again.

"Lass...that's awfully selfish of you..." I muttered. My cursed manhood was beginning to throb uncomfortably underneath my pants.

"Awww what a pity." She said sarcastically, laughing after.

She kept going, faster and faster...then...stopped.

I looked up at her strangely.

"Now what?" I asked her, confused.

She took her fingers out of herself, even though she appeared closer to climax that I thought.

"You're enjoying that too much. And you ask too many questions. I have a way around that." She said. So steadfast and thorough.

She slid herself forward, kissing me briefly, then biting my lip. I grunted. Seriously...what...

Oh...

"You're going to finish that off for me, understand?" She asked me. Though, I think she meant it to be if it was okay if I did so. I wouldn't mind.

"Aye lass...I would be honored to." I told her, my eyes looking up at hers with empowered lust.

"Good."

There was something different about this one though. It had been inevitably dark and mischievous and I liked it. I wanted to grab her ass and push it towards me, but she made all the arrangements herself, sitting on my face as I tasted her inside. She thrashed above me, grabbing hold of what ever she could such as the bed head, so she could sit up straight. Heh...when I'm done with her, I have a feeling she probably won't be sitting up for a while. Gods that sounds so...

"Yes...good...good..." She muttered, moaning in between.

And with all this...denial was making me ache and leaving my needs unwanted. It needed to be tended to, but it just was incredibly painful. Wouldn't have thought this was actually punishment...but...by Gods it was...leaving it throbbing in agony like that was almost too cruel to bear.

She started to shake I felt the waves of her explosion nearing, as her moans got a bit louder by the moment and it was just making my desires much worse. Petra...so...damned...cruel.

"Bryn...Gods...yes..." She continued. She'd fall over and I would catch her if my damn hands weren't tied. But she managed.

I licked and suckled and tasted nearly everywhere inside of her and it was giving her everything she wanted right now. I swear she laughed a few times because my beard was tickling her. And it was nice to hear her giggle like that. Even if she grunted in frustration because she was pretending to be serious. I also, by instinct, attempted to move my hands because they too desired to skim across her pale and scarred skin. I wanted to feel those wounds beneath me and give them all the love they never had.

She gave off a huge moan as she released herself to me, allowing me to lap up what ever fluids she let go off. Interesting taste, sweeter than the mead you might say. She moved back, puffing and panting, placing her wobbling hands on my chest as she regained herself. She looked at me as I licked my lips.

"Nothing tasted better." I mocked, trying to get on her nerves.

"Oh Brynjolf, Brynjolf, Brynjolf...always the charmer." She laughed.

"In my opinion you needed a bigger spoon. My little tea spoon only stirs so much." I told her with a type of articulated sophistication. When did we go from prison trash to high nobility lifestyles?

She snorted and giggled, her face going beat red as her face was twisted with the bad humour. I mean, given my own inexperience, I know role playing's a thing others of the Guild of subtlety mentioned from time to time, we'll start off with the talk, no matter how bad it sounded. It had to sound bad right?

"Oh? So your bigger...spoon...I'd say it's still in the drawer. Did you want me to have a look?" She asked, barely holding herself together.

This was all a game to her. But it was fun nonetheless. It was good to see this devious, more playful side we had to contain because of...you know.

"Yes...Gods yes please..." I groaned. Finally.

She nodded and grinned. She took off part of it, but the way she was doing it very slowly was extremely irritating. She was doing it on purpose of course but Gods...

She laid on down on my legs, her little petite body somehow managed to fit there. She grabbed my member and I winced, sending jolts through me, her index finger running up and down and tapping the top of few times, making me hiss.

She delighted in playing with it, that's for sure, moving it around in her hands like that. She slapped my stomach every time I wanted thrust through her hands. She shook her head at me.

"Nuh uh uh...I'm just searching for hidden items. Seems I found a long shiv." She commented as I could see her devious smile.

Goodness lass...you make me blush too much. Back to Prison trash now, according to her.

"So no spoon, but a weapon?" I said, acting innocent.

She pouted.

"No...well, it's not sharp enough to hurt me that's for sure. Digs deep well enough." She joked, before snorting. She was laughing at her own jokes, I was just admiring her handiwork and rolling my eyes, smiling at the same time.

"Aye...what are you going to do about it then?" I questioned, wanting to see where she was going.

"I admire the taste of refined weaponry, but I suppose this will do. Put it to the grinder, and I'll make it sharp," She said, teasing me again.

I blinked and went wide eyed as she started licking it and moaning as she smiled. I was losing it, the hot wet tongue of hers leaving trails around my member.

"Oh... _Petra_..." I croaked. I then watched her nearly swallow the whole damn thing and suck it.

Gods know why...but...it was so...nice. I don't know if what we're doing is considered reasonably dirty. But...I then say it's for our own amusement. How long do we have until we're able to do something like this again? To experiment...nothing wrong with that is there? If there is, then I honestly don't care. The metaphors were extremely pointless but pretty funny even if they didn't make such sense.

I felt the orgasm coming on as Petra sped herself up. I puffed, panted and sweated from every pore on my body. My muscles contracted and released with my breath that beckoned. She then slowed down. Damn it Petra what are you...

She moved back, taking it over her mouth...while I was so close... Goodness...I tend to forget I'm being punished.

"So...maybe I am being a little bit...selfish...I'm the Dragonborn. I think I deserve a lot better don't you think?" She said with a the hint of something more. But it sounded so...confident, evidence of her self-esteem. She may not have been serious but to hear her say that...

"Yes lass...you...you deserve a lot more. You deserve a lot more than me, who's tried to kill you and-" I said, before she leaned over and kissed me hard so I would shut up. I shouldn't have said that. Sorry it just slipped out.

"That's not what I meant. I deserve to have you and all of you. And the world wants to take that away from me." She said, although her voice shook slightly.

She slithered back, and sat up, taking my aching member, still erect, into herself as she bit her lip, sliding down at a steady rate. She gasped doing so, as I felt her clasp around me as I got deeper.

I didn't quite get where she was going with this, but she may have been mixing reality and fantasy up by accident, or her mind cannot conjure such imagination while she was so focused that the truth was spilling out.

"So wouldn't the world need to be punished?" I asked, just curious and not being serious at the same time.

"No...just the ones who insist on causing us harm. I...I want..." She stated in her straining needs.

She started going up at down, sending waves of pleasure through me and herself, causing her to cry out.

"What do you want lass?" I asked...gods...I started to lose breath again as I was near breaking point again.

Her face became twisted with something fierce and I was incredibly...Gods...so...just so  _hot._..

"I... _ngggh_...I  _want._.. _ahhh_..." She cried out.

I wanted to hold her so bad. She was taking this on herself. She wanted to take hold and be in control. I couldn't help with the instinctive thrusts, but she slapped me again. It was erotic to seen her so desperate to take hold of everything but it also worried me. I tried to resist movement, just to let her have this for herself. It was obvious to me now she was releasing steam for earlier. Wanting to let go of all of her concerns.

"N _ggh_...Petra...you can have...have anything...ughh...you want... _ngghhhh_ " I squeezed out, feeling her clench tighter around me. I wanted to come, but I wanted to let her speak as well, as I held back as much as I could.

She stopped briefly as her eyes locked with mine, filled with so much lust and desperation. But I could see...her behind those beautiful things. She was tired...tired of the pain and the loss from it all.

"Bryn...I want.. _.ahhh_...you...and only...nggghh you..." She pleaded.

She threw her mouth on mine once more as I absorbed the heat radiating from her mouth. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and to tell her...but I believe in self-assertion. She had to do this herself. From here I admired her body, the way it was carved from the Gods, the lovely, subtle breasts...I never got bored looking at them. We have claimed one another, but I didn't want Petra to think for one second that she lacked the ability to take command of her fate.

"Then I...I'll...oh Gods, Petra...gah...I'm with you...all the way..." I gasped out, nodding for affirmation.

She gave a sweet smile. I liked all of her smiles. But this was becoming Oblivion to bare for much longer. Our breaths quickened as we puffed and our pace heightened. I felt Petra cling around me one last time...and I knew...

"Go...go..." She sputtered out...in the midst of her orgasm.

I had bitten my lip the entire time to repress, but...now I had her permission and finally let myself release...

The both of us laid in these incredible positions, crying out loudly that I feared other people would hear us. But Petra didn't seem to mind. I had much relief, but was beckoned by the fires of passion that swarmed us, the heat that sent waves throughout our bodies. Petra soon came back from her throes of pleasure, and then unclipped the straps on my wrists and legs

I embraced her as we shared the downturn of our emotional peaks, throwing my arms around her as she laid on top of me, gasping for air. I was the same as I grabbed her head and kissed her forehead...and waited until we had settled properly...

If I had known she was stressed to the max about it all. I would have offered it myself. But Petra's been thrown around a lot lately, against her will. Plus, I had the best punishment a man could ask for.

Our breathing had returned to normal as Petra's head lay nestled in my neck, her breath, warm, was always a pleasant feeling. She had taken control and I had let her. I think it may scare her sometimes...she kills dragons aye, but tends to lose herself inside the anger and fury as she battled them. To win was to throw away her humanity in order to do what was necessary. I recall the slightest details. I must admit they're horrifying. But I had to ensure, to remind her she was still human.

Even I, at times, will have lost it because of the pain that these things just cause. I'm more confident in my own self, even after the priest's presence and made me plan out my own future because I know it's not going to be the same now.

"I wonder how Ayisha's doing." Was one of her first questions.

I looked up at the ceiling again. It was both amusing and cute that's one of the things she's most concerned about. 

"She'll be okay. Delphine is a good person." I commented.

Petra nodded, although she was a bit wary of the truth.

"So you knew she was a Blade?" She asked me.

I nodded. One of the least important secrets I had but yeah. But to Petra, I can imagine the knowledge she would been able to use in her disputes. I wasn't even thinking of the connections because it had propped up in a while. Seeing Delphine for the first time in perhaps years triggered the ordeal. Maybe it was better to have lost such knowledge.

"Yeah...the Great War had changed everyone involved. I guess there's only so many people you can trust." I replied.

She seemed to agree. But she was surprisingly not angry at me for not telling her earlier.

"So, you're not sure whether was this a piece of revenge or..." She said.

I chuckled. Knowing the history of Thalmor with the Blades thanks to my father, I felt like I had an obligation to help Delphine anyway.

"No nothing like that. Though it would be nice to take the Thalmor down a peg or two. They're been an annoyance the Guild." I admitted.

Petra seemed to understand. But, in this case, it definitely had something to do with the Dragons. She stared at me, as if wanting to say something, but she combed my rogue hairs with her fingers for that brief moment, then kissed me on the cheek and closed her eyes, nestling her head on my chest.

"Night Brynjolf." She whispered.

"Night...Petra..." I whispered back.

Thankfully, we would have nicer dreams.


	68. Shield of Aetherius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Realm-Walker runs her day-to-day operations as she investigates current events from a more complicated point of view, when she meets up with the last person she'd expect to help them out, then finds out even more perplexing news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the following makes no sense, then I've done my job. If it does, then well done.

 

Few know of existence of all, to which is known to mortal kind and that which is not.

I stand here, in my own world, the one I constructed for myself to enact my studies and research. This world is built of wood, crystals and fire. This room, my station...simple cabin inside such a peculiar location that can't be picked by your average being. Few tables, walls littered and darted with paper with scribbles that I've written down over the years. Nothing that will make sense to you of course. As well as the dozens of candles all over the table in the middle, the room lit up in their warm glaze.

Through my eyes I see each reality at a time. I am guided by unseen forces, being their hands and their voices. I was...compelled to come here. An unusual realm that strays far from the tracks that it was given. The amount of related realities have similar endings. This one does not. I first detected an anomaly from an outsider source and while the reasons behind it haven't been explained, it's evidence enough that its been...manipulated by those who seek to do more harm than good. There are no exact answers but my suspicions will prove correct in time.

While I could go on about myself, this isn't about me. This is about Petra's world. A world I fell into and became deeply interested in. I have visited quite a few thus far and by the time I may die I will never have visited them all. Each are infinite and precious as the rest, but I may have overstepped my boundaries a bit.

I have spoken with Brynjolf regarding Petra's doom-driven status. Her world, like many others, are constructed for failure like scenarios. I wanted to see whether or not fate could be changed for better or for worse. To see the happiness it brings people. I have had happiness in my own world of birth, but to give it to others just makes it worth while. Especially for one where I deem it necessary to investigate who has bothered to twist it far enough that it can no longer go in the same direction as all the others.

I am a cruel person in general. I could save hundreds of worlds if I wanted to. But none of them tickled my fancy. They're boring and fate often plays out as it should. This one caught me eye because you may visit similar versions all the time but occasionally you'll find the one that holds a differential value to it.

But what does this mean about Petra's world? I like Petra. I'm sure many do. There aren't many like her, but if there is then...meh. She has this vibe to her that, while, she wants to do the right thing, she just needs a little help along the way. But overall, she's a bit difficult to define, only if she wants to know where to be placed in the world, due to her position as Dragonborn. Her spirit is different from them all however. It may be only her that makes it so unique. Others I have talked to, say the same thing. What is this...peculiar charge that makes her contrast? Her fear? No...it's not that.

The Mute Girl and the High Elf. They are also unique in the long term. Associates that have served me for a while. They may bicker, but in the end, I know they want to do the right thing.

However I sense the streams themselves churning and splintering. I fear my meddling has forced time and space to save face. They're adamant that Petra has to fail in order to set the world right again. Choices are chosen obviously, but you have to consider the fact of how space-time actually works. To explain it all, well, would take me ages without the jargon to support the factors involved. But I'm still wondering if it's me, or the suspect I believe to be doing the alterations. Prolg, in my mind, is following the orders of another, but I have yet to track his true master. I do not think it wise for the others to think that's not the only one aiming for his endeavor. He's a strange man, who's a denizen of evil with his lies and trickery, whom I suspect has allegiances with a much more powerful lord. I'm not even talking about Alduin either.

Petra becoming a dragon was a factor that I didn't think they would consider. I was wrong. Her fear of dragons would have left her to die but she wasn't resigned to that fate. Who would be? To be destined to that as such has been either a blessing or a curse. But even I am having a hard time trying to suss out their motivations since not every reality has that as a suggestion.

You look at everyone in Skyrim at the moment. They'd be grateful for a savior, but you forget they're there sometimes. You say you love the world you're in, but you would only say that for the connections you've made. To save Skyrim from the mold of destruction that lingers around waiting to strike. I believe she'll do it, even if I have to fight tooth and nail to make sure she gets her happy ending.

How do I know this? You're not as much in involved as I am. Let's say someone like me has definitely been in Petra's role once before. But now I am much, much more. I am forever what the worlds have given me, by mistake or by fate...either one. I am here, now, a speckle on existence to reach out to the furthest stars to give hope and resonance.

* * *

"Mistress?'

Torvan, my Assistant. He stands behind me, loyal and firm. I have collected those who have been left behind to serve me. Their worlds ended.

It boils down to what decisions are made. There has to be terrible choices alongside the good ones in order for things to balance out. Torvan was just an unfortunate soul burdened with the premise of guilt, his world burnt down without the constituents needed to save it. I found him alone and brought him to my realm. A realm that's...sort of. Perhaps if you'd see it. No, you'd go mad. It's easier if I don't describe it's location.

But Torvan is one of many souls I have saved thus far on my little crusade. Skills of the elite level and yet, he treats me like a God. No I am not a God. Just...a Realm-Walker.

I dream like a mortal and may or may not die like one. On the matter of what I am is something entirely different. All you need to know is that I was once a nord woman living in Skyrim, having done my tasks and leaning towards something...more.

Did I decide to do this? Maybe, I have yet to figure that out myself. But when you're pretty much standing on the line of fate and godhood you wonder too much. I had seen the sights of Aetherius and bring forth the questions you have yet to ask.

"Oh good, you're here. Did the results from the stability test turn out okay?" I asked him.

He sighed and shook his head. This didn't look good.

"No...there's something shaking up badly. Gonna have to run a few more tests. What ever you're doing out there, it's extremely potent. Gonna have to reach out to a few contacts if that's okay with you." Torvan replied.

By contacts I know who he means exactly. I usually have my Administrators run a multitude of duties, critical for research and important study.

"We still don't know if it is me, or dark mind causing such travesties. Do it. I had a feeling something wasn't quite right." I said, concerned. "What about the communicator project? How's that running?"

He rubbed his head. As you can see, we do a lot of work.

"The group there managed to get in touch with a few spirits here and there...as for the higher planes...it still needs more time." He answered.

A Realm-Walker's job is never easy. If you could understand half of what we do then good.

"Any more subjects from the last sector we checked out?" He asked.

Torvan checked his paper work. From time to time, we do pick up the odd rogue who often have troves of valuable data.

"Oh I had almost forgot. Picked up a guy who wants to see someone who can make heads or tails of a bit of a mystery. As we'd suspected, the lack of stability in the streams has caused some hiccups to the system in place. Random people coming up in random times and so forth. We've got few people on the job maintaining several different rifts that have been floating about, all because their genetic compositions were different from one another." He said, confirming one of my past worries.

Gods...this has been going for the last few weeks. Some people ending up in different eras...and alternate time lines. It wasn't a spacial issue. All time related. But it's interesting to see an individual actually seeking out our help. I was...partially unnerved but I will take anything at this point.

"Where's the subject?" I demanded.

Torvan took me to the quarters area...a huge chasm filled with temporary housing for the wanderers that get lost in time and space. It's an issue that I've looked deeply into and wonder if anything was actually my fault. My senses say no, but it doesn't hurt to have back up theories. The quarters reached up to the roof. Everything just made of wood and a bit of metal for structure and support. Don't worry, this place is safe with the best enchantments and security a Realm-Walker can get.

If you're curious, we're in a structure called the Shield of Aetherius. Don't ask me where we actually are. Just don't.

He took us upstairs into one of the quarters there. I entered inside, seeing a familiar being. Mad me a tinge angered but I had to let tensions go for the sake of work. For him to be here and to be him of all of people got me utterly curious.

"There's a face I hadn't quite expected. I remember you dying in most of the places I've been to. I'd loved to know how you did it..." I said, letting one trait take over another.

Before me stood a man in black Thieves Guild armour and the most smug face that I'd ever seen. His spirit was different from what versions of him I'd actually seen, an interesting partition to what had unfolded in most worlds prior. His face was like in a scowl, with brown-to-grey hair. Breton origin.

"Well for one I was minding my own business in the guild and the next I'm in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of wood elves who captured me."

Signs of time and space displacement it seems. I have an Administrator who deals with these random transplants. Torvan handed me their report, detailing the events that lead up to this. Interesting, from brief glance.

"Ahh so you were in Valenwood? Fascinating." I murmured.

He grumbled. There's the grumpiness we all know and love. The report states he's actually much more in tune with events than any other version of him I'd seen. Not a Guildmaster, but still serves one we once believed dead, in the bulk of realities we know them from.

"Don't sound too excited. You weren't the one escaping death there." He groaned.

He's much more reasonable, then I wonder if he's still acting. Time will tell.

"No, but I have escaped death many times. Tell me why I should spare yours now?" I warned. Instinct would tell me to kill him for what he had done in the past, but this variant doesn't deserve it. It pains me to say that. Now I'm even more curious.

He crossed his arms. I never liked him, but I wanted to see where he was playing at.

"Because I have valuable information pertaining to the dragons. It wouldn't have mattered much but it's an interesting find. I was going to sell it to the highest bidder, but your form seems too attractive to pass up." He said, trying to guile his way with his life intact.

I rolled my eyes. Him having information on the dragons however. The report did state he'd been searching for something.

"Flattered, but no. I'd rather kill you instead if I could." I continued.

The man grinned. Euch.

"So if I gave you this information, would you send me back to the Guild in one piece?" He stated. Still calm and unaffected to my threats.

I contemplated it. I really did. I hated this man myself in all the worlds I've been to. His composition was different, sure, I've seen it dozens of times. And how this information was relevant to the world's I was interested may not matter, or it might. It could help if I decided to mingle in further. But this man has to redeem himself otherwise.

I talked to Torvan briefly, seeing if his fate or...those who speaks to, can be spared. He nodded, leaving briefly, then coming back with a silver amulet with a moth decal. Moth's are pretty cool.

"Okay, I'll see to it on the condition that no harm comes to you or your comrades from now on. My associate Torvan will place an amulet with a tracking enchantment to make sure you're doing as you're told. If not, we'll be alerted." I warned.

He grumbled again. Such an unhappy fellow.

"Yeah what ever. Do we have a deal or not?" He asked me.

I wondered if it was a good idea, but I was willing to see how it all unfolded.

"Yes of course." I said, treading lightly. "Torvan?"

My Assistant placed the necklace on the mans neck, much to his consternation. I smiled.

"Okay, we're good. Torvan prepare the Gate."

He nodded, running out of the room.

I leaned back on the wall, smiling with confidence to make sure we both kept up our parts of the bargain.

"Okay, what do you have?" I questioned. Even if he didn't have anything or he had something we already knew, I wasn't one to pass information up either way. It nearly became a business.

"The Dragons themselves tenacious as they may be, something's got them spooked. It's not normal to see the Guild's work having to deal with them, but I've had many a good thief die because of their attacks in the middle of nowhere. I've gotten my son, whom I consider my best thief, to look for ways to defeat them. He suddenly found some kind of parchment from some cave. We had a specialist translate it for us. It speaks of some weird good dragon...white, pure and has feathers? I don't even know Dragons had feathers." He revealed.

Dragon with feathers? I have heard these rumors before from another wanderer.

"Go on..." I told him.

"Like I said, it's not our business to know. But I thought it rather strange. I'm not huge on the dragon lore myself but...it seems the lot of them have been flying around scared. The parchment mentioned this dragons name as Sotrahkun. Don't know anything of it. Asked the local nords but they haven't had much like themselves pinning it down. Why my son found this of all things is beyond me. So will you let me go?"

Sotrahkun. Yeah. That's the name that's coming up a lot lately. A White dragon with feathers. I'll have to have someone look into it.

"Very well, thank you Mercer. Go downstairs and met up with Torvan. He'll have the Gate open for you." I said.

* * *

I didn't mind that Mercer, I guess it was only a matter of time before I'd met a half-decent version of him. Still, he had a son. Something he actually had of value, if I was to assume correctly.

Timelines alternates can either have small or major differences between one another. Whether it'd be race, gender, personality, you name it. But they have similar aura's to track. As I mentioned it, it's about choice and not everything is going to be exactly the same.

I'd returned back to my quarters, before I heard a knock and a head peer around the corner.

"Ahh can I have a word to you?" Asked the Elf as he approached me.

He was always eager to help. Even if we tease him, he stumbles or says dumb things, at the end of the day, he's still working his butt off because in his heart he really wants to help. He does things every so often that can surprise you. It helps that his own origins are obscure and bizarre.

"Yes Wheatley what can I help you with?" I replied, looking over my table filled with many crystals allowing me to see different worlds in action.

"Right, so I followed the lines of this Sotrahkun and like Zoklotinhaar, it's not written anywhere but the parchment that Mercer mentioned. " He said. "He seemed quite more pleasant than normal. Wouldn't you agree?"

I rolled my eyes at him. I had to remind myself to be patient.

"Just, tell me what you found..." I said, trying not to sound exasperated.

He backpedaled.

"Oh, right...so, Sotrahkun is a dragon, white, with feathers and...oh..." He said, as his tone changed. "We've had one report so far...oh dear..."

I looked at him with a stern expression.

"What is it?" I wondered.

He bit his lip and rose an eyebrow. Usually was a sign I was going to hate it.

"One report...says one of the parchments is calling out for Petra. Wanting to speak with her?" He said, feeling uneasy

I should have known. The signs are coming to pass once more.

"So this dragon that no one has ever heard in any of the worlds we'd been to and wants to speak with Petra? Goodness." I stated.

I pinched the top of my nose in the stress of the situation. A specific Dragonborn too. I needed more information.

"Wheats, do you think you and Chell would able to cluster more data? I'd rather Petra follow the path as closely as she can at this point."

The elf nodded. Perhaps it was related to why I figured Petra was such an odd Dragonborn in spirit.

"Sure can love. Anything in particular?" He asked.

I bit my lip and pondered.

"Anything that'll tell me why this dragon is looking for her." I answered.

I understand that this might be a bit overwhelming but this is the definite truth. The reasons for the Crusaders. To determine the reasons why. This is our path to choose. So much to take in but don't stress. I'll do the stressing. I could ask some of the other tenants who chose to stay and help, but this is becoming ridiculous.

I theorized that this Dragon may or may not actually be a dragon at all. Or maybe with the Culture getting in contact with me. But they're less subtle in their methods. So obviously I was still in their good books.

In all, I wanted Petra to have the good life as Dragonborn and she was a person of entertainment. Again, I am a cruel person...

You'll thank us for it in the end.


	69. Thalmor Embassy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra infiltrates the party of all parties and finds out more than she expected she would.

 Ah morning. How I hate thee.

I don't regret my actions from last night. I was indeed stressed and tensed up and just wanted to let loose and run wild. I'm pretty sure Brynjolf enjoyed himself anyway. I'd woken up, mixed up in his arms. Tempted to stay there, in the warmth that surrounded us. Pity dragons needed dealing with. And the Thalmor...

I had uh...borrowed the straps...but I had seen Brynjolf feeling down about himself. I'd talked with a few people yesterday about today's mission and all I could think about was how I was I going to make him feel better. My own feelings for him have gotten complicated to the point where he's beginning to frustrate me with all his secrecy. I had to be patient and be understanding for him. But from what had been said on Fellnir, I felt like there had been underlying causes to his words. Like why he had given up hope, to let the darkness consume him. Even if he did come back briefly to try and push me away.

He's never given up on me and yet he's under the assumption that I'd drop him in a heartbeat if given the chance. No. I owe him for reviving me...I owe him for ensuring that I didn't waste my stubborn life away. But I still think something's there he's refusing to tell me and everything he claims to is just a thin blanket over the real issues. But I digress. I must continue to wait.

We reluctantly got ourselves out of bed, put our armour back on, then I tied my hair up back in a ponytail. I wouldn't really care if we received faces as we walked out. But importantly the both of us were okay with one another in terms of all that dwelt on the surface. We kept everything outside the bedroom professional and allowed ourselves to mellow in what precious moments we had together. I'd like to put truth in that more than it was actually been put in action actually. But...we preferred to take it seriously for just one moment if we could, please. I loved the intimacy but...yeah...heh...hmmm. Anyway, We left the Winking Skeever not as much so as to prepare ourselves for the trip to the Embassy.

Never really dealt with the Thalmor too much. No one likes them, that's a given. They're tolerable for now as long as they don't get in my way. But push comes to shove, I've had to eventually come across their paths. Especially being Dragonborn and that Brynjolf was a descendent of Talos himself? Stuff like that is beckoned to be heretical.

If Delphine and the Realm-Walker think this is going to help find any answers relevant then by all means. I'll investigate. Just don't force me down a road like that again.

* * *

We met up with Delphine at the Stables, who had a horse and carriage lined up for me. She handed me a set of fancy dress clothes, which I looked at with skepticism. It reminded me of the people we robbed.

"You really want me to wear that?" I asked with a monotone. Brown robes. Ew.

"You have to look the part of a Thalmor toady. You can't go in there looking armed to the teeth." Delphine explained.

I could have sworn to have heard Brynjolf chuckle. For goodness sake.

"Go on mama, put it on." Ayisha told me. Sigh, even the kid is making me do this. What of it.

I rolled my eyes, going into the nearby bushes to quickly change. I hate wearing formal wear, I despise being like one of those stuck up nobles. These robes was stupid. The hat was stupid. The whole thing was stupid. I came out with a displeased expression. Brynjolf was grinning the entire time, the bastard.

"Lookin' good lass." He commented.

"Why don't you take your hair down?"

I grumbled as I handed my normal gear to Delphine and Brynjolf...I hated that idea, but I did it anyway, since I normally had my hair up. I took it out, scuffed it a bit and let it down as I put the hat on. Gods I really didn't want to do this. She wasn't entirely convinced, until she brought out a make up kit and doused my face in muck. Brynjolf was liking it more than me, apparently by that goofy look on his face.

"Delphine, didn't know you were a make up artist." He joked.

Neither did I.

"It comes from having to hide a lot. You'd be surprised the difference it makes to some people. It's about what you expect your enemy to wear. You give them something they'd never wear in their entire lives and you won't notice a thing until you stare at them directly in the face. It's really good when you're in crowds." She explained.

Make up was stupid. She finished up and nodded towards. To her it was a lot better. I had no idea what she did to me. As long as people weren't going to give me weird looks. Bryns smile softened to the point he wasn't trying to laugh. I suppose that's the best reception I'll receive.

"I'll keep the rest of your things until you get back. Here's the invitation. Don't worry, its real. Good luck." She told me.

I said my goodbyes to Ayisha and Brynjolf as well, hugging them both before jumping into the carriage and watched them wave at me as I disappeared out of sight.

* * *

I had to admit I was slightly nervous. I never sat well with all the important people in the province. I'd rather not deal with that right now. As we came into the large building, surrounded by Thalmor guards I swallowed my pride. Another man had arrived at the party with me, using his cocksure tone.

I handed my invitation to one of the guards, his smugness impeding. I was let inside the Embassy and left on my own. Inside was roomy enough with the smell of a mixture of sweet and bitter drinks, cheese and a variety of other foods. It was filled with the high-class and important people. My problem was that I'd seen many of these people before.

One of the female high elves approached me and introduced herself as Elenwen, the Thalmor Ambassador to Skyrim. I had...bad vibes about her. Real bad. But I made do. I was nervous but I could fake confidence, which was what Brynjolf taught me. I also just made it seem like it was just another job, even if it wasn't.

I spoke with her casually, until Malborn, standing behind the bar made some of request regarding the Alto Wine, to which Elenwen bitched about him about him going on about trivial matters. She then excused herself before wandering off. Yeah...that bad vibe thing...it's like part mystic sense you know?

I had a word with Malborn who then prompted me to make a distraction so that he could take me behind the bar to start searching the premises. I took a bottle for myself as I sifted through the room with the pit in my stomach burning as I recognized some of the people in the room. I saw...wait, was that...oh Gods.

Balgruuf.

You know, the Jarl of Whiterun?

I really, really, hope he doesn't see me. Oh...oh Gods he saw me.

Look away Petra, look away...

"Hello there." He spoke to me. I smiled despite the pressure as he welcomed me warmly. Be cool, Petra, be cool.

"You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

Ah shit. My eyes darted from side to side. Just make up a story Petra.

"Uh...no. No we haven't met. " I told him, putting on a fancy voice. Yes good.

He smiled. He seems like a nice guy from the brief moments I saw him.

"Sorry, you just have the...look of someone I haven't seen a while. I'm Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun" He said to me.

I took a sip of the wine. Gods...

"Um it's an honour Jarl...well, I have one of those faces. I'm from Cyrodiil originally. I'm up here from the Imperial City." I told him. Just believe the lies and leave me alone please.

He nodded, though he took it and continued.

"Hmm...yeah you remind me of a girl I once met. She'd came to me on the account of the dragon attacks from Helgen, so I sent extra troops to Riverwood to make sure they were safe. The reports were quite startling." He said.

I pretended to be surprised. Just...keep acting Petra.

"Oh? Yes...I had heard about Helgen. Ravaged in fire I believe." I lied. All part of the job Petra, not something you haven't done before.

"Aye, terrible mess. She'd helped out my court wizard in his investigation of these Dragon attacks. Went to the Western Watchtower, then according to my Housecarl, she'd vanished. Guards reckoned she was Dragonborn...housecarl...Irileth hey Irileth..." He said, calling his Housecarl.

Goodness...why...this dunmer...overly paranoid at best, walked over and stood next to the Jarl.

"Yes my Jarl?" She said as she made herself known.

I crossed my arms. Breath Petra. Breath. The make up better be working!

"Remember the girl we were talking about, the one from the Western Watchtower that helped Farengar. Did we ever up finding out what happened?" He asked her.

The dunmer looked at me as I sipped my wine. It's okay Petra, take Delphine's advice. But Irileth appeared to be one of the super cautious types, if I can recall.

"Hmmm...no. She'd run off I presume. Then some thunder on the mountains on a clear Skyrim day. You said it was those old men on the top." She answered.

"The dragon was dead, then suddenly it burst into flames and she ran off, then the men thought she was Dragonborn or some kind of nonsense as it trailed off in her direction."

I...remember that. Standing on top of the Western Watchtower. Staring at the vicious beast in it's eyes. Hungry for destruction. I felt the full brunt of my phobia for the first time as I ran through the motions. Even some of it ended up as a blur, I do recall me running around due my mind not even able to wrap my head around it.

Balgruuf acknowledged with a slight nod. True to an extent.

"The Greybeards. She might have heard their summons and went up there. But...I hadn't heard since." He said with sadness.

Did...I really make that kind of an impact? 

"I doubt it matters much now. The dragon was dead wasn't it?" Irileth pointed out.

Balgruuf sighed. I guess he knew more as a Nord.

"Yes but...it's a sign of the end times. With Alduin the World-Eater...the only one who can defeat him is a Dragonborn. That legend has been passed from nord to nord for centuries." He explained.

I had heard bits of it, but my parents weren't much of model parents in the ways of tradition. They worshiped Zenithar but that was about it.

"Yes and you take it so seriously..." The dunmer pointed out.

Seriously? Irileth.. Her heart was one of a warrior and didn't take to any religious matters herself.

"Then tell me why you think they're back, surely you would have known about more of the Oblivion Crisis down there?" Balgruuf asked me.

I wasn't expecting that question. They hadn't seen or heard of what's happened to me in the mean time. But I somewhat knew a bit about the crisis.

"Um...well, I've been rather ignorant of the problems arising in Skyrim. I was just visiting my land of origin as all." I fibbed.

Great Petra. Good thinking.

"Surely you've been here long enough now to hear all the bad news running about. You have to be here on business. No way is taking a trip here ever considered a good thing." Balgruuf commented sadly with a low voice. It'd made wish that he'd said that to me some months ago.

"I have assets here that are in my best interests to protect. Some war and some dragon attacks won't prevent me spending all the coin I can to do so." I said with confidence.

Balgruuf smiled.

"Ah spoken like a true nord! Like the girl. I had considered what she had done for me a great honour. I would have made her Thane you know, given her her own housecarl. She's...about your height..." He revealed.

Gods don't blow my cover...Nocturnal guide me.

Wait...did...

"Oh really? I'm sure she'll be fine, adventuring out there as those types do." I stated. Did...did he really want to make me Thane? I don't even deserve it!

Irileth was giving me suspicious looks. I think she knew more than Balgruuf did. I wish people weren't obsessed with me lately.

"You look too young to be gallivanting about with nobles. Doesn't your heart desire the better life?" She asked of me.

I'm guessing Irileth was one of those people...I had spoken with her prior, revealing she and Balgruuf had a battle-bond...something that grew in war-time. She had a knack for picking things out and watching over her Jarl like a hawk from assassins. She was scary, but she was just doing her duty as a Housecarl...and a friend.

Now...I am the one feeling worse guilt than I did when I ran to Riften. In a single sentence he's managed to make me think of all the choice's I'd made so far. I. I was going to complete this first. And worry about that later.

So far I still needed to make a distraction. Somehow. I kept my distance, seeing Maven and Ingrod Ravencrone roaming around. I'm sure they know I'm here but none of them have said anything.

Neither did Erikur. I then realized majority of the people I had seen, I knew them. I had helped them. These nobles...

I fear...not treachery. No...something different.

"You look pale. Maybe you should sit down." Balgruuf noted.

I wish people would stop thinking I'm sickly. I'm small, not weak.

"I'll be fine." I said, smiling.

"Been running around a lot."

He nodded.

"Okay then. Don't push yourself. If you ever find yourself in Whiterun, be sure to drop by Dragonsreach."

* * *

Still needed a damned distraction. I did eventually sit down and continued to drink a bit of wine. Slowly of course. I can't stumble around the Embassy drunk now can I. But it was a bit watery, I suspect Malborn watered it down for that very reason.

Idgrod came to sit next to me, much to my surprise. I looked forward.

"I thought it was you as you wandered in." She said. "Didn't know it was you. But...I figured..."

I breathed through my teeth causing a slight hiss. Oh Gods...no no no...

"I'm...not sure what you're playing at. Didn't even know you're a noble."

I chuckled. No sense lying to her.

"I'm not." I admitted.

She patted her legs.

"Oh...well, I'm sure you're here for a good reason? I've had good contact with your Guildmast-, uhh...superior. She wanted to pay me a good sum of gold to come here to help you." She told me.

I blinked. How...

"What? Karliah?"

The Jarl smiled.

"Your dark elf friend told me to go. I tried to get in contact with you again but you're a very hard woman to find these days." She continued.

I pulled a rogue strand of hair out of my face.

"You needed something Jarl?" I asked, perhaps this was better than I thought/

"You did Morthal a service that I'd never forget. I'd even consider you Morthal's protector and offer you a position of Thane and give you a piece of land if you ever want to build a house." She said.

What? No! Wait? Huh?

"Why? I did what was necessary. Your towns fine isn't it?" I asked her.

"Yeah, it is." She answered." Vampires are a grave topic that gets everyone running scared. The fact you went to a whole coven of 'em, took 'em down and saved the wizard speaks volumes about you. Giving you gold wasn't enough. The people have been happier and have never felt safer. Some of them have even made amends with Falion. And even if there's still noises in the marsh at night, they'll still be able to sleep."

What..what was this strange feeling?

"I'm...glad I made quite the impact Jarl...don't know whether I'm actually worthy of that though."

She shrugged. I've been doing this...all..uhh....

"If you ever change your mind come back to Morthal. We could really use someone like you." She offered.

Tempting but I had others that needed my attention.

"Thanks for the offer Jarl. I'll think about it." I said.

She grinned. The feeling wasn't bad...

"Good to hear. So, Karliah tells me that you're here for more than free food and drink hm? I may be able to provide a service of my own if you'll permit me." She told me.

I rubbed my head.

"Hm? What did you have in mind?" I wondered.

* * *

Hm...that went better than expected.

I'd forgotten Idgrod was prone to visions, but she also 'wasn't a stranger to faking them' either. She used her weapons of old age plus subtle senility, then went off in a tangent about the guy I came in with and proclaimed he was evil. Or the way she put it was much more amusing.

But it gave me exactly what I needed. I spoke with Malborn who smuggled me into the kitchens and passed a Khajiit nearby. She made me think of Ayisha with the type of fur she had. She detested me being in the kitchens, but a quip from Malborn shut her up quickly.

He told me my things were in the chest in the next room. I went inside, thanking the elf as he closed the door and locked it.

I was on my own.

I found the chest quickly, finally getting to strip from that stupid gear. I summoned my Nightingale Armour and found my bow, an assortment of arrows, potions, lockpicks, etc as well as my two swords and tucked them away, then used my hair tie wrapped around my wrist to get my ponytail back in order. Feels so much better.

I went into the next room, seeing a long hallway. I listened into a conversation between two Thalmor soldiers who joked about their mages being eaten by dragons first. Judging from their conversation, it didn't appear they were in allegiance, but I could be wrong.

I continued to sneak around, going from room to room, trying to find what ever documentation I could, but everything was just boring reports that lead nowhere. I then went outside. There were guards everywhere, so I took a deep breath and went passed the guards and prayed for Nocturnals protection with whispers.

I had the agent of shadow within me, turning me invisible as the path to where I wanted to go was being blocked and going out in the open like that would just be suicide. And when I got there, I had to be quick to open the door and get inside. An open area, just as lush as the main building. I heard speaking complaining about something. There was a single guard there, but I stuck to the shadows and leaned against the wall to listen in...

"You say the Thieves Guild is hiding something from us?" I heard one voice speak.

"Of course. They're in on the whole thing. Raiding the Ratway would be my sole recommendation, considering the fugitive you may be looking for is down there somewhere. Your tool Gissur has been an annoyance but useful to an extent."

I knew that other voice and I hated it instantly.

"They shield a Dragonborn in their ranks. As well as a descendant of Tiber Septim. I believe assassinating them both would be most beneficial to both parties there Rulindil old friend."

No...not...not the Guild!

"Hm...I guess. Would anyone would have known that the long dead Emperor would have lineage through a dark elf? Such impurities. Does not matter either way. We'll send a few scouts down there to see what they can find." Rulindil explained.

"I warn you, they're quite powerful. I wouldn't send just anyone down there."

"We'll send an assassination team. Should be able to handle it...Prolg." Rulindil spoke before getting up and leaving to go downstairs.

"I hope they will." Prolg the asshole replied.

* * *

No...I had to get back to the Guild as fast I could. But I needed to find more information.

I ran around the Solar for a bit, sneaking past more guards as I did so. I found a few interesting dossiers on Ulfric Stormcloak that were a bit revealing. I may need to give him a visit soon if that's what had to be done. I think. And another document detailing that the Thalmor were investigating the dragon attacks as well, but had revealing details about the status of the Dragon Cult, or the Cult of Slaughter as an asset. There were more, but unfortunately I lacked the time to read them. I put them away for later.

But I should have known than to find Prolg allying himself with the Thalmor. They were dicks but...now they were even more dicks.

I went downstairs, finding Runildil and another soldier torturing a man. No...just no. He asked him questions regarding the man in the Ratway. I couldn't bare to see him doing that. I brought out my bow and gave Rulindil and the torturer swift deaths. Not that they deserved it like that. Preferably slow and extraordinarly painful. There was another chest here with more documents. I'll take them back to Delphine, but we were pressing for time.

I freed the breton, man, Etienne, who was tired and wounded from all the pain that they'd inflicted. It made me severly pissed off. He revealed the trap door where they often plonked dead bodies. Should have known better for them to do that.

I let him go, however no one had any keys. I looked up as I heard the door slam. I could see two Thalmor Agents holding Malborn.

Shit.

My heart pumped faster but I had this sense of knowing, that I just mindlessly pulled my bow up, striking the two agents in the head and freeing the elf from their clutches. I made sure the Elf was okay and shuffled through the agents and found a key. Aha...success.

We made our way, assisting Etienne down the trap door and into a snowy cave underneath the building...

I found another Stone of Barenziah, interestingly enough. It'd been a while since I'd seen one of these. I put it away, needing the focus to make sure everyone at the Guild was ready for an ambush. Damn it.

Malborn and I carried Etienne, then encountered a frost troll who'd made it's home here. I motioned for the elf and the breton to stay clear while I took it down and to keep moving. I put my bow away, taking out Chillrend and Nightingale blades and combating the fierce beast in combat. It take too long to take it down, but maybe it was just me rushing as I spun and dropped to avoid getting hit from it's nasty claws and stabbed it in the chest before crossing cutting it's head off. With no time to boast, I withdrew my weapons and caught up with the other two and helped them get outside.

"Are you guys alright?" I asked them both.

Malborn seemed to appear a bit more grumpy.

"I hope you got what you needed. Now I'm going to be hunted for the rest of my life." He complained.

I rolled my eyes. He needed to hide. So did Etienne. And with the Guild compromised, there wasn't much else I could do...unless...I took a piece of paper and scribbled some details down. I had to plan this and plan this quickly.

"Malborn, take Etienne to Morthal...here have some gold, rent out the inn there. Ingrod should return back there tonight. Take that note to her and follow her lead. You can trust her." I told them.

Malborn was confused. I hadn't expected him to understand. He became paranoid again.

"Look, just go there okay...if you follow orders you'll survive." I said, urgent.

He looked at Etienne.

"What about him? He has nothing to wear." He said.

I tapped my finger, remembering I had put the robes away. I took the set out of my cloak, seemingly an endless realm of shadow to contain stuff. Just don't ask me how it works it just does. Or ask Nocturnal. I don't care.

"It's not much, but they'll have to do. They'll protect you from the cold at least." I told him.

He put them on and nodded at me.

"Thanks. You've saved my life out there. Just...be careful, what ever you do. I smell somethings up and I don't like it." Etienne said.

I agreed.

"Yeah. Now get your butts to Morthal before anyone sees you. Go on, scoot!" I ordered.

* * *

I'm sure they'll be fine. If they kept to the roads at all. That note had all my details on there on what to do. I forget I'm well connected with various allies. Like the Realm-Walker had once told me. It'd made me think that a few people do owe me favours here and there and I'm obliged to use them at least once. Positively speaking.

But now they were out of the way, I went to find Brynjolf, who wasn't too far off. He walked up to me and hugged me, glad I was safe. But, my heart was aching for the others, unaware of what was about to transpire.

"Bryn, the Guild's in danger." I told him, anxious.

He looked at me strangely.

"In what way?" He asked.

I became stressed out again, explaining everything I saw really, really quickly to the point I was running out of breath and feeling faint again, my breath hastened. Brynjolf grabbed my shoulders just to get me to stop.

"Woah, woah, slow down there lass. So...my father has been working with the Thalmor? I honestly wouldn't have not seen that coming." Brynjolf said, surprised.

I looked at him with worry. I could see the confusion and the bafflement in his eyes. His father killed me but it just doesn't stop the internal conflict within him.

"I didn't either..." I said, getting my breath back.

"Where's Delphine and Ayisha?"

He crossed his arms.

"They went back to Riverwood. But if what you say is true lass, then we better get back to Riften right away and warn the Guild." He said.

I nodded. I wanted control of the situation but...this was all so sudden. I couldn't let this happen...I just couldn't. Brynjolf placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled. In a few seconds I could see our horses trailing one another as they came down the hill. Clever. I got on Cody while Bryn got on Lucky as we fled off to the east as fast as we could.

Thankfully we should be able to get to Riften quickly...I hope.


	70. Raid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf takes Petra's warning seriously, as she goes to find Esbern in the Warrens, while the Thalmor linger on the Guild's doorstep, awaiting a bloodbath.

 

I knew the lass would get out without so much as a scratch on her. Easy job done I'd say. Though when she said that the Thalmor were out to get the Guild, the both of us refused to panic outwardly, our hearts wrenching at the thought. We didn't have much time to lose as I called our horses and rode our way towards Riften.

Petra knew we had to skip Riverwood, but she mentioned a courier once the whole ordeal was sorted. And my father? Shor. Why would he side with the Thalmor? There was so much hypocrisy going on it was making my head spin. It didn't matter. Prolg was an irredeemable monster anyway, and I don't want him near Petra and want his head on a pike.

The lass had her head on tight, with nary a reluctance written on her face. She had to be strong, brave and adamant. When facing the Thalmor, you have to endure the facts that they're a magically strong force to deal with that almost wiped out the Empire and declared Talos worship forbidden. I couldn't wait to see their corpses littered around the cistern, an image not to mess with thieves and scoundrels like us who had Nocturnal watching our backs.

She had her Nightingale gear on and it was only appropriate that I do the same. We managed to get back to Riften by mid to late afternoon at the speed we had been going. We'd left our horses at the Stables and stormed into the city with fierce determined faces and minds.

We had to plan this through without it going haywire quickly. She'd asked a few guards if any Thalmor had wandered into the city. He'd mentioned a few had gone down into the Ratway. Gods...

Petra and I made haste to the hidden entrance by the Temples and rushed ourselves to speak with Karliah about what was about to happen.

"The Thalmor? Here?" She spoke with surprise. I don't blame her.

"Aye, they're on their way. Lock the entrance to the Cistern and alert everyone. Then meet Petra and I in the training room." I told her.

She nodded. She did the run arounds, alerting the other members to keep on guard. Niruin locked the hidden entrance while Sapphire went to the Flagon to alert the others. After doing so, Petra, Karliah and I stood around the desk with the documents she'd found at the Embassy. She scattered them about, before picking one of them in particular. There was a name written down on one of them that I'd sworn I'd seen before.

"What is it Bryn?" Petra asked me.

I rubbed my chin.

"This dossier speaks of a man named Esbern, a member of the Blades." I answered. "I know that name. Some guy in the Ratway who pays to keep us quiet about his location. Vekel brings him food once in a while. I wonder..."

Petra and Karliah looked at one another.

"So he's considered a wanted man as well?" Karliah queried.

"There wouldn't be much doubt in that. There'd be no other reason why they would be down here..." I had stated.

Petra shook her head. She knew more?

"And the fact that he stated what Bryn and I were. They'd found a common ground." She mentioned.

Karliah crossed her arms. No...it couldn't be...

"Who?" She asked, perplexed.

I looked down. They knew what they were dealing with from another party.

"The Cult of Slaughter. Both them and the Thalmor want Petra and I dead." I said. I hated saying those words.

Her eyes widened. While Petra was just annoyed, pinching the top of her nose as she became more irritated.

"Yeah because we're an affront to both of them because I'm Dragonborn and Bryn just happens to be a descendant of Talos. What gives." Petra spoke with quite the scornful tone.

Karliah pondered, trying to think of our next move. We can protect ourselves but when something as extreme as this gets into the picture, you can't help but wonder what was going on with the world.

"We'd be sitting ducks here. We may tell ourselves that we can protect the Cistern. Nocturnal should protect us but seeing what the Thalmor have done in the past who knows what they're up to." She said, fearful for the livelihood of the Guild.

Petra agreed.

"No one likes them Guildmaster, no one. We should quickly head down into the Ratway and find this Esbern if he's down here." My lass suggested.

Now that's something I would prefer to do myself, however.

"Brynjolf I need you stay here. Petra, go down and find Esbern. I'm not certain but if he's important, I'd rather him not be here and somewhere else." Karliah ordered.

What?

"I need you to stand your guard here with me and attempt to delay the Thalmor from proceeding any further, while Petra sneaks this...Esbern out to safety."

Oh...well, fair enough. Petra should be able to deal with that swiftly. I'd hope. I sensed she was annoyed, but neither of us would disobey an order.

"Alright good. I know where to take him. Just...I trust all of you will come out alive, okay?" Petra said. I hope lass, I hope.

We watched Petra sneak away, adamant to find this Esbern. Vekel had mentioned speaking with him a few times and directed Petra in the right direction. Only that there may be a few Thalmor in there already. Petra, just be careful. Please?

Meanwhile I stood guard alongside the others and spoke with Delvin regarding numbers scuttering about like skeevers. Vex looked like she was on edge, even more so than usual. Tonilia and the other merchants were escorted into the cistern for their own protection. Vekel too, while the rest of us stood watch of the doors.

We were only a small group but all of us were fighters. We're not like the Companions nor are we as cruel and methodical as the Dark Brotherhood. And none of us were magically inclined like the College either. But luck is our greatest weapon and by sticking to what we know, we should be able to do this without much trouble. But the Thalmor just made me...weary. You know they mean trouble when they have a worse reputation than we do. So that says something.

We nearly all jumped as we heard banging from the entrance to the Flagon. Vex tightened her grip on her dagger as Delvin spat on the ground, pissed off by the fact this was pretty much his Guild, his family that they were about to deal with.

They'd broken the door down...oh they'd pay for that. A swarm of black robed elves entered and walked around the cistern in middle, blocking any attempts of our escape. No. We weren't going anywhere. This is our home and Talos knows that none of them were going to take it away from us. The irony stands at the numerous conversations held above ground about the guards giving us a raid. Maven deals with that daily with the help her numerous underlings.

I'll admit, that none of us were pure black and white. The entirety of Riften was rotten to the core and you know, we functioned like the mechanics as a dwemer ruin...and could often be deadly as one too. We've done horrible things, selfish things and treated everyone and each other like shit. But we knew how it worked. It's a system that has kept us afloat for decades and anyone who tries to change otherwise is either gonna have to deal with us or their heads floating in Lake Honrich.

They'd stopped in their tracks as a man that I detested wandered inside, wearing a similarly designed cloak but with a bit more spike to it. Dragon themed even. Where does he get those stupid clothes? Now I sound like Petra.

"Brynjolf my boy. It's a shame you can't see the benefits of peace, as we do. But...you joining the Guild allowed you to turn into your mother. I guess it runs in the blood." He said, having the nerve to speak about Neme like that.

I glared at him as he gave me that typical smug look. But I had to be reasonable here.

"So you take down my allies and friends. Heading somewhere are we Prolg?" I questioned.

I heard Vex scuffle, with the fury written all over her steaming face.

"You put one finger on Brynjolf and I'll leave you with a piece of yourself on the ground." She taunted.

Prolg just crossed his arms and smiled.

"You have such charming colleagues here. All out to protect a lost cause. In the dump you've called your own." He commented. Flattery coming from him is considered the greatest insult.

"You will not claim a single soul here tonight Prolg. You have long forsaken your duties and now you dare tread on my territory. I'm sorry, but that's just not on." I told him outright, with the most calm, yet threatening, matter-of-fact manner. I hadn't taken any weapons out just yet. I needed to give Petra as much time as I possibly could.

"Bryn permission to slit your dads throat?" Vex asked me as she seethed through her teeth.

I didn't want to reply. Instead I stood in front of the man that only shares my blood at this point. Nothing more. I should have known since I was a young lad that he was up to something with all the grinding lessons and nonsense that forced me to come here. And it was the best choice I ever made.

"My Thalmor associates would prefer to punish you for your blatant Talos worship and your distinct bloodline tracing back up the once great emperor. Redeem yourself and join us for an everlasting distinction. I wouldn't want my only son to die." He said.

My lip twitched. The audacity of his words...such...ugh what in Oblivion was he on about?

"Are you even hearing what you're saying? You worshiped him for years! You were a damned priest! I don't understand why you..." I said, acknowledging the group of elves around us.

"Why all of you are falling for such crap! This is the man who taught me about Tiber Septim who conquered Tamriel and ascended to become a God! Tell them father, tell them the story about the Nightingales."

He tilted his head.

"The Nightingales? Oh the little group of daedra cursed thieves. Now that's a story for the ages. A demon who allows other demons to use her powers. Our goals aren't that much different after all." He said, hinting at something more.

Delvin rose an eyebrow, puzzled.

"Wait just a second there before you break our heads with all this religious crap. We understand we're a necessary evil. But for what you're getting at, is a lot worse than us. Skyrim doesn't need dragons tormenting everyone and death shouldn't be everyone's first priority." He explained.

He started to laugh, which really got on my nerves.

"No! We don't mean for everyone to die. Not at least permanently. We're aiming for rebirth of ourselves. A noble deed and we'll function without the necessaries evils plaguing it." He explained further, hurting my brain.

Ow...my head...Gods...Priest...

I almost fell over as everything went dark...

* * *

"Bryn are you alright?" Asked Delvin.

I looked up at Prolg with my glowing eyes. I'd put him to rest to allow me to deal with the sort of nonsense riddled in this place of vermin.

"The days we had are over." I said, voice echoing from the walls.

"Woah woah woah...wait, you're that dragon priest aren't you?" Vex questioned. I understand her concern.

I paid her no mind. I had to continue to finish Brynjolf's work. And my own unfinished business.

"You are too far into this to gain redemption now Prolg. The ignorant refuse to see the fallacies in which your plan is balanced on..." I said, in deeper truths harsher than the coldest winds.

I summoned my armour above Brynjolf's...I need to shake these elves off if Petra doesn't get the elder out of the ratway in time. It surprised a few of the soldiers. I wanted them to be scared, to fear my power.

"What is that utter defile of sanity?" Spoke one of them.

"No idea, I'm sure none of this was written in the memo."

These Elves...their essence disturbs me. Their powers are greater than the rogues here. Too many of them, far too skilled. This required a delicate touch. I turned to the others.

"Get the others into the cistern. I'll handle this." I calmly told them.

Vex wasn't entirely sure. Her worries are noted.

I used my abilities and my wings to shield them from oncoming elven agents. They remind me greatly of the snow elves that once roamed the province. Just as arrogant and strenuous as their cousins.

I took out Rahkes and faced Prolg in the midst of his boastful repertoires. For a man like him. His mind had been so warped by Lord Alduin's false promises that he would not die for him, but rather, his corrupted soul would forever wander the earth in search of this game he was playing. So foolish and distasteful. Their hesitation...it speaks about the connection between themselves. While at Fellnir we were left caring for ourselves and the darkness that cloaked us in the tides of war.

"Zoklotinhaar. I should have expected that you'd worm your way into this. A real damn shame." Prolg spoke with such venom.

"I have my reasons for changing my mind. I am not blind to the truth as you are. For once I had thought exactly like you. But Petra's inflamed passions warmed my heart and made me aware of what I was once and who I truly belong to. The Dragonborn was sent to wage and settle our disputes to prove the lesser dragons who still holds the real power in this world." I told him. In reality I will need to let my mind rule my spectral heart.

Prolg smirked.

"Well, yes, you see. We don't exactly need you anymore." He told me. I was...puzzled.

"We've found a completely new plan that will save us all. You're nothing but an annoyance and a failure."

I fell into the shadows, reappearing from the dark mist with my blade at his throat, forcing the elves to either ready their weapons or their spells. Their magics won't be able to touch me.

"Then we shall stop what ever incompetent idea you have found." I boasted.

* * *

Oh...my...hea-...what just happened here?

I remember standing up. And the smell in the Flagon had turned sour. I rubbed my forehead from the soreness and felt nothing but sweat and the gloves that I had on, seeing that I wore Zoklotinhaar' priest clothes.

I looked around me, seeing the Flagon in pieces with broken chairs everywhere, fires in random spots. Priest...that had to be you. What did you do?

I wandered around. Their corpses were everywhere. Damn it man, don't do this without my permission. Are you even there?

…

…

Nothing. Figures.

I went back to my normal armor as I continued to look around the tavern. No sign of Prolg anywhere. It must have been quite the battle that I had missed out on. What was the Priest playing at? Just...piles of bodies and the smell of blood and fire filled the air. Such a blood bath went on without my consent. I had tried to be reasonable but...you just ruined it. The Thalmor will continue to hunt us down I'm sure of it. But...

I went into the main cistern to speak with the others who were deathly on edge with pale faces. They seemed...scared of me. They had backed off as Karliah walked up to me, withdrawing her weapons to figure out what went on.

"Delvin told me that...Dragon Priest returned. Is that true?" She asked me. Her eyes were riddled with the troubled mind.

I frowned.

"To my shame yes. Everyone of them is dead, save for Prolg. I couldn't find his body anywhere." I said with sadness. Figures.

Vex rolled her eyes.

"Gah should have slit his throat."  She said.

I combed my fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp. I had felt a bit faint after that. You're not too wary of piles of draugr but when it's people in their original live forms it's a bit more distressing.

"Any word on Petra and Esbern?" I queried. I had to know if the lass was alright.

"She sent word that she and the old man got out fine." She replied. "And told us to tell you to meet in Riverwood when you were done. But...I'm a bit afraid at the moment."

Afraid? Karliah?

"What is it?" I asked her.

She sighed.

"The Cistern is no longer safe for us. What ever you did in there has made the Thalmor panic and I fear in no time that they'll regroup to take us down eventually with maybe their better forces in tow. We can't afford to stick around and do nothing." She answered, her voice tinged with regret.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to disband the Guild."

The whole cistern was in uproar with those words. I hadn't seen many of them so angry since Mercer's betrayal. But this was my fault.

"You can't do that boss! Maven would be furious!" Delvin pointed out.

Aye, I'd agree. The Guild was all some of these people had. Even me at one point. But Karliah was clearly distressed by it all. Lass had to spend twenty years on her own and she didn't want to spend another twenty with more deaths on her conscience. So I could see why she'd feel that way...

"No. I am really sorry guys. I...I can't..." I said, before Tonilia put her arm on my shoulder.

"Hey we've seen what that guy can do before. Just be glad he's on our side now." She exclaimed.

I tried to smile.

"Thanks. But Petra said she saw Maven at the party at the Embassy. She's just in much danger as we are at the moment. We leave she'll be left on her own." I warned. Maven had her enemies, many of them. But in all honesty, she's the one who keeps Riften in control as far as some of us are concerned.

Karliah bit her lip. Surely she wasn't going to force us to leave? Seriously?

"Unless you guys have a better idea, I'm not risking any of you dying because of this. We all know what the Thalmor are capable of. Maven can afford to disown us and find her own band of mercenaries to hire out to do the dirty work." She said. Sometimes Karliah can care too much.

I had to think of something. I looked sternly at the Dunmer.

"Look, I'll go find Petra in Riverwood and see what she says about this. We need our best to decide what's best for our Guild here. We can't just drop everything and leave. There are many lives at stake here and if this catches wind to our informants and fences, we'll be left weaker as is. It's better to have the connections with those we know that can speak to us on their own behalf. " I advised. The more connections we had, the better.

Delvin nodded.

"Bryn's right. Rather than just split us up, we'll just move location. I know of a few good places and people I can talk to, to see what's available. If thats right with you boss." He suggested.

I turned to Karliah. It seemed like a good idea to me.

"Hm...we'll see. For now, everyone pack up your things. The best places for us to go for the moment is there Nightingale Hall. It's not far from here and offers much better safety. Delvin, Tonilia, Vex...everyone. I want you all to do this as discreetly as you can. Dirge, speak with Maul about this but don't get him to tell Maven just yet. If she's involved with the Thalmor, we can't risk her with us. Just let Maul know so he can speak with the guards. Understand?" Karliah ordered.

The man nodded.

"Of course." Dirge replied.

While Karliah had the members running around, packing things up, she'd taken me to the Vault to speak in private. I knew I was going to get a scalding.

"Brynjolf I need to know..." She asked me, sounding exhausted.

But I knew what she was going to say.

"Yes...lass...look, I had no idea he was going to do that." I told her. Honestly, that's the truth.

She crossed her arms and lost eye contact with me.

"Okay I get that, but I don't want further harm to come to the Guild because of the man in your head. I need you to make sure he's controlled. He's risked enough as is. And now we're forced on the run because of it." She said.

Aye, my guilt was dwelling deep into my stomach already. I just wanted to hold Petra to make it feel alright again.

"I know lass, I know...I'll try. But for now, I need to find Petra and let her know what's happened." I told her. 

Karliah softened a bit.

"Yes. Do that."She said, then she exhaled. "Now if you'll have to excuse me, I have to help pack."

* * *

 

I felt the Guild held a different opinion on me after that. Vekel and Dirge had returned back to the flagon alongside the other merchants. I couldn't go back in there after what he'd done to them. I didn't even see it yet the atmosphere suggests the heated event took place probably within five minutes. I wanted to know...why?

If we could have spoken like gentlemen then we would have figured a compromise. However, knowing Prolg, he would have screwed us over eventually. But where had he gone, why was his body not found? Unless you either did that on purpose or some other wretched thing. You've ruined my reputation as a trustworthy senior member dispersed from the lack of confidence. I had to rebuild that again.

I'd gone to the Stables to pick up Lucky, but my mind was filled with the images of the dead bodies that floated around the cistern. To admit I wouldn't want to go down there again. The smell lingered in my nose and I'd snap back to that every time something reminded me of it.

And now I know how Petra feels about Helgen. Although hers was more traumatizing, mine was...just something out of my control. I'd gone to Riverwood on Lucky with a heavy burden on my heart.

Thank you Petra for keeping me sane thus far.


	71. Helgen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra takes Esbern to Riverwood to meet up with Delphine, then encounters someone she hadn't seen in a while.

 

Setting instructions and planning things out for others is harder than you may imagine. I'm not for organizing anything. I was made to follow orders not give them. But I had gotten inspiration from my mother, who always used to make sure that she'd follow the rules exactly. I had survived long enough with them and now that I'm taking her idea with me, it should help immensely.

I had rescued Esbern from the Ratway, who turned out to be a rather strange old man, who usually talked to himself. I'd met him in the Warrens, locked behind what must have been a door with dozens of locks by the time he managed to open it. I had to convince him I was Dragonborn to even get him to trust me. Even then, he managed to open up after I'd taken down several Thalmor agents on our way out.

He rabbled on about Alduin and had originally lost hope, as according to him then signs were all there. His face had lit up when I told him who I was and you know, it wasn't a bad feeling. A single sentence had given the man hope.

I'd taken him to see Delphine in Riverwood, all the while dreading to think what was happening at the Flagon right now. But I had a job to do, and I had confidence in the Guild and for them to do the right thing.

So we'd arrived there and the two greeted each other as old friends. I smiled, knowing in this age of uncertainty, that we find comfort in finding in what we once considered lost. It's a gem of an emotional change. I felt bad for interfering with it.

We had discussed the notions of what Esbern had in terms of information regarding Alduin, namely, something called Alduin's Wall and that after more of his mumbling about, concluded it was at a place called Sky Haven Temple. Delphine mentioned that she knew of the place, near a Forsworn encampment known as Karthspire. Great. I wanted to know what the actual wall was supposed to be of, as Esbern described it as the knowledge needed to defeat Alduin once and for all.

I felt ill of the whole thing, wagered on how the actual events had turned out so far. Practically, you could confirm the Thalmor hadn't been involved originally, but with Prolg's meddling, managed to partake the whole story and twist it so that they were actually involved. Things were going to get a lot harder from now on. Especially with the Guild still under threat.

Delphine suggested heading towards Karthspire, but for me...I was gravely concerned about what was going in Riften. But...I had to keep my head held high in doing so, knowing I had to be doing what was necessary for the world.

I'd gotten my gear back and had asked where Ayisha was, for which she proclaimed that she'd be playing with the local children, surprisingly. The only problem was what do with her. If Delphine, Esbern and I were going to go to Karthspire, well, I would want her with us, but at the same time, didn't want any harm to come to her. She no longer had the Ring of Khajiiti with her, but I think she should be fine, given her own skills in magic and the shadows. Delphine told me to wait outside while Esbern and her talked for a bit. I nodded, heading back upstairs.

* * *

I watched her from the inn, as she played with the local girl and boy and their dog. I observed her using magical tricks. To say she's deserving of her title of Mane is an understatement. I remember coming to Riverwood after escaping Helgen, Hadvar, the man who helped me escape, had lead me here for food and shelter. No doubt he'd be in Solitude doing Gods know what with the Legion.

I walked up to Ayisha and called her name, causing her turn around and sprint towards me, hugging my legs.

"Mama!" She called out.

I ruffled her head.

"Hey there my little kitten. How are we?" I asked her with a grin.

"Ayisha made friends. Dorthe and Frodnar and their little dog Stump. Ayisha was showing them them magic tricks." She informed me with great enthusiasm.

I tend to forget much when I was her age. Given that most of my life had been ordinary up until a few months ago. I couldn't help but think of Helgen though as my body shivered.

"Everything okay Mama? Are you cold?" She asked me with beady eyes.

I just chuckled.

"Oh no nothing, Mama's fine. She's happy you're having fun. But she also may be heading back out to do more dangerous things." I replied.

Didn't make her any less excited.

"Oh? Can Ayisha come with?" She said with glee.

I'd contemplated that. Whether the Forsworn were to do anything in particular. She could be of some help if we'd come across more dragon text.

"Only if you're still capable of hiding." I told her.

I don't doubt her skills. I was concerned by her lack of protection, especially without the ring.

"That's okay. Ring is gone, but Ayisha can still use spells." She assured me.

I grinned. She's smarter than what we give her credit for.

"That's what I like to hear."

I wasn't sure how long Delphine and Esbern were going to be, but I let her go to continue to play with her friends. Ah kids...I observed them running around playing tag, then watched as a familiar face happened to walk by me, wearing his legion armor. I wasn't sure if he'd recognised me however. He'd stopped and squinted as I smiled.

"Long time no see." I told him.

Good ol' Hadvar. Just too coincidental to have him wandering into Riverwood again.

He responded in kind.

"Ahh Petra is it? Haven't you see in a while!" He told me.

We sat on the bench outside the Inn and talked for a bit. It was nice catching up after so long. Given I had time to kill, there was no harm in it.

"So, what brings you back to Riverwood after all this time?" Hadvar asked.

I shrugged. I still had to be discreet however.

"Business. I'd gone to Whiterun to presumably, as you might have seen, to have more guards patrolling back and forth. But I'm here on other business sort of related but not." I replied, ambigiously.

Hadvar leaned back and nodded.

"I see. Still investigating the dragon crisis. I figured you'd want to know more about what was going on." He stated.

Well, that exactly wasn't the case. I couldn't tell him absolutely everything of course. Little white lies weren't going to hurt anybody.

"Absolutely. We're making progress. What about you? What have you been doing?" I wondered, sincerely.

Hadvar was one of the first soldiers to slightly worry about me being at the execution. At first I was confused as to why I was even there. I wasn't going to panic. I'd been...too exhausted to protest and my mind was elsewhere the entire time in a near catatonic state due to immense confusion and fear. Everyone else...they were just assholes. Especially the Captain.

I'd been racked up with the Stormcloaks, including their leader, Ulfric. I don't...want...

"Nothing much really. After Helgen, they had me on patrols and going from camp to camp doing small jobs for the Legion. I'm just passing through to go to the border to meet up with another group of soldiers from Cyrodiil." He answered.

I rose an eyebrow. Hmmm..

"On your own?" I questioned. I half expected at least several members alongside him, but he was on his own.

He chuckled.

"The others weren't too far behind. They're probably going to rock up any minute now. But they were fixated on killing some wolf on the road. There was about four of us, and they'd told me to go ahead. I sincerely hope they didn't get themselves killed instead."

I rolled my eyes.

"One wolf? Give me a break. I'd take down several wolves on my own, if that." I boasted.

Hadvar grinned, amused at the thought.

"Really? You weren't like that when we escaped. Although you did kill a bear. I never knew you had such talent in using the bow. You're not related to the Wood elves are you?" He joked.

I brushed him off.

"No...just my father who taught me back in Cyrodiil. I occasionally see action that warrants using it. Especially with the Dragons about." I explained.

He nodded.

"Yeah. Exactly. I have to admit though, Helgen was crazy. Pity they never got around to rebuilding it." He said.

I understand my heart wouldn't want me to head back there. But maybe with Hadvar, my original savior until Brynjolf came along. But...within myself to take control is to put aside the doubts and bring my own self-esteem back from the brink. I could mostly remember fire, blood, death and wings of ebony. I felt the heat disappear from my face.

"You okay there? You've just gone pale." Hadvar asked me.

"Hm? No it's fine. I'm fine. Thinking of Helgen makes me sad sometimes." I admitted.

He leaned forward and looked at me with a stern face.

"Yeah same. Do you ever regret what we did though?" He asked me, sounding soft.

We did what we had to do in order to survive of course. I'd rather not die if it can be helped.

"No...no. I'm just coming to terms with it that's all. Alongside my work of course." I said.

He nodded towards me.

"Oh okay then. Well, if you ever want to talk about it. Let me know."

It gave me an idea though. An idea that would be a means to test me, to test my spirit for Gods themselves to see whether accepting the whole ordeal was worth being catatonic for. I hadn't even known at the time I was Dragonborn. I had a feeling something was afoot and I'd get down to the bottom of it.

"Say, you know, it would help my own investigation if we went back there." I suggested.

Hadvar tapped his knee and thought about it.

"I really should be meeting these soldiers at the border. But I guess we can take a bit of a look along the way."

I grinned. I told Ayisha if Delphine was looking for me, that I'd be back within a few hours. I let her stay a little longer, while Hadvar and I returned back to Helgen.

* * *

It was a nice day for a trip, filled with memories. Most unwanted but I look back now to where it all started and try to wrack my brain for reasons why this had occurred in the first place. My mind was in a trance but I recalled the majority of it. We'd approached the gates of the abandoned town with a pit in my stomach wrenching tightly.

Though, I couldn't stop my heart from beating rapidly, with my mind forcing me to recall the screaming as I looked at the burnt corpses that had been pushed onto spikes decorating the outer walls. I had to will myself to be calm as we got closer and the temptation to vomit was too great as I hurled in the bushes nearby. Hadvar came by, albeit a bit cautious to come closer. I wouldn't either.

"Feelin' queezy from looking at them? I agree. What are you hoping to find? And I really don't know if you should go in there. If looking at dead bodies like that makes you feel ill..."

I shook my head and stared at him.

"No, it's not...not that.." I told him, trying to clean myself up.

"It...brings back all the pain and anguish it brought. Doesn't it give you nightmares as well?"

He looked away. It had to have some kind of effect, surely.

"I'm a soldier. If I was going to be sick every time I saw a corpse I would have been kicked out and without any food resting in my stomach." He said.

I commend his duty as such. But still.

"Fair enough." I stated. "Let's just go inside."

I picked the lock on the gate, opening it a tiny bit. I had feeling we weren't alone.

We went inside and wandered around, seeing bits and pieces of the town everywhere and burnt down buildings. Fire filled my head and it brought me a lot of pain. I was using every inch of my will to subside that, to push it aside because it hurt so much. Didn't stop my heart though.

"I've heard the other soldiers say that this place is cursed, that's the reason why no one ever came back." Hadvar said, picking up a childs toy off the ground.

I rubbed my arm, feeling chillier than normal.

"Yeah, I agree with them." I replied.

We heard voices, as Hadvar brought out his weapons. I pulled out my bow and steadied my aim.

A throe of bandits headed in our direction, taunting us as they charged. I rolled my eyes, firing arrows into their necks as Hadvar cut them down to size, so to speak.

I withdrew my bow, then joined Hadvar into the fray, reminding me of the keep we entered and the escaped Stormcloaks along the way. I had my two blades, striking down the pitiless vagabonds as they had intended to.

We had made a good team. Admittedly, even if it was temporary. It allowed me to see the world outside of the Guild's true goals as Hadvar was just one of those part the bound law and if he knew what I was he'd be compelled to arrest me with the Empire's orders.

But coming back...I had originally believed it to be a biggest mistake and I had no intentions to head here but now...I feel like I may be able to let that go. May be. A lot of it still tormented my mind, bringing back the pointless slaughter that went on here. Fire falling from the sky, shouted by the massive black dragon that had great intention to kill.

My veins were burning with an inflamed parchment in these strange, similar battles of pure fury and skill. There'd been, what, like a dozen bandits in here? It didn't take us long to take them down, their corpses dotting the town itself.

I felt a bit relieved after that, but still a bit about sore the concept. Scars that had been scabbed off returned, but if I could find out more, they may heal proper.

"You're a bit of a whirlwind I must admit." Hadvar commented, sheathing his blade.

"You've improved yourself a lot since last time."

I smirked, putting my blades away as well.

"Yeah, well, that's what experience is for. Can't get around Skyrim without a bit of fine tuning after all." I stated.

He agreed. I'm glad I've had some development.

"Could use you in the Legion." He told me.

I just laughed. I'll have no part in that.

"What? You don't want me. I have bigger things to worry about. The Civil War with the Stormcloaks? No thanks." I said, voicing my distate.

He frowned, saddened I wasn't to join him.

"That's a shame. I could vouch your skills to Tullius. Or...are you a Talos sympathiser?" He queried, although I could hardly tell if he was being serious.

I crossed my arms. The truth was much more complicated than that.

"What my beliefs are, are none of your business." I balked, annoyed with such a question.

I then recalled the Thalmor situation. I wasn't sure who else to trust outside the Guild with this information. If it had been written down anywhere to suggest it, I would be holding it.

"That being said, I have rather disturbing implications regarding the Thalmor." I warned him.

Hadvar face palmed.

"It's safe to say here that they're just disturbing over all but we can't risk peace over death. The Dominion will wage war again however...that much I do know." He said.

Most of those affairs were made up when I was little. Who did I follow? May have be Kyne, or Mara? Zenithar for my parents, I know. One of the two. I may have been a simple farm-girl but I did pray to the Gods for good harvests after all, just like what mother taught me.

"That bad huh? Should have known. But...at the moment they're in deep with another group called the Cult of Slaughter. Don't know if you've heard of them but their leader, Prolg is deep within their ranks. Or has recruited them for the same goal." I warned him.

Hadvar seemed surprised. I don't blame him.

"A Cult had allied with them? Disturbing indeed. I can't say much on the matter myself. But, if the Emperor himself caught wind of that we'd have instant war again that no body wants anymore." He said.

I agreed.

"It's an inevitable factor I'm afraid. They're using their alliances to secure the dragons on their side. I intend to wipe them out before it's too late." I declared, in all honesty.

He looked up at me with his eyebrows so far up his forehead.

"You're going to knock them out yourself? You sure you don't need a hand?" He said, although again it was hard to tell if he was being serious.

Either way, it'll happen.

"No no. I'll be okay. We have different methods to ensure the best course we should take." I said.

* * *

We'd agreed on it eventually on what we had to do and had create a memo in my head to investigate that further. For now, I wanted to go back to Riverwood to catch up with Delphine. However, I'd wandered into what was once Helgen Homestead, to find a book on the floor a bit singed but the interior was legible, enough. It had the Thalmor logo on. I didn't want to read it just yet. Had to take it back to Riverwood to analyse properly. I also found bottles of mead, labled with juniper berries. I clung on to the bottle and close my eyes, imaging the voice of the Stormcloak with the very mention of these bottles of mead. It made the coping of events that much harder. As I looked at the buildings around me, I'd pictured them of how they once were, hearing the chatter amongst the imperials, the Stormcloaks and the towns people. The pain almost became too much to bare as I had noticed my legs becoming wobbly because of it.

As I had come out, I froze as I saw a huge legion of soldiers standing outside with their swords and shields, with Hadvar leading them. They were all hostile towards me. I was in between surprised and not surprised. Somehow.

"This the group you mentioned?" I asked him.

He looked down, shame written on his face.

"The Empire had ordered me to find you on behalf of the Thalmor for treason against them. I really am sorry about all this. I liked you." He said with sorrow.

I grumbled. Not this again.

"Seriously? You don't believe the truth about the Thalmor? Working alongside to get the dragons on track? Unbelievable." I spoke with frustration.

The other soldiers were confused. Good, they should be.

"Well, here...take this to Tullius..."

I grabbed a piece of paper and a quill, scribbling down more notes regarding the Thalmor's duties. If their leader wanted to speak with me, all he had to do was sent a courier after me and I would be happy to negotiate the tale.

"It's not so much treason as the preparation you had by walking into Riverwood with some stupid reason other than to capture me. I thought you were better than this."

Hadvar frowned. He looked so against it but...

"You know I can't disobey an order. This will risk war with them and the treaty would be broken." He explained. I knew his words were hollow. He was a nice guy and he wouldn't do this without reason.

"So you're the one going to send me to the executioner yet again? Even though from what I have told you, the Thalmor are partially responsible for the dragon attacks. If not all, but a small part. They're protecting a man named Prolg who is nothing short of wit, deception and baldness." I told him. He sighed.

"Look, if you want to talk to Tullius then fine. Come with us. We'll take you back to Solitude." He offered. The gall of this man, I swear.

Gods, tell Delphine I may be longer than usual. I had think of a plan. The only way I'd get into Solitude without the Guards knowing my identity was either sneaking in and risk getting exposed quickly, or go in there willingly and sent to their dungeons. I wrote another note for Hadvar to carry. Using them has been handly lately.

"I'll go without resistance. Only if you promise to read those notes that I have given you. Should tell you what to do next." I suggested. Whether or not he follows up on it or not, he needs to do it. It'll give some credence to my words.

Hadvar nodded, puttng the second note away. I stood there as one of the soldiers came up behind me, putting cuffs on my back. But as a thief, I had my way around Solitude enough and given the time needed to escort me back to Solitude to deduce an agreement.

So, thankfully, I was able to plot out my next move as they'd dragged me onto a carriage and drifted me away to the north west...


	72. The Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf helps out with getting the Guild getting settled in their new home, then meets with up with Hahnubopraan in the little time he has to sleep.

 

I hadn't expected this day would come. But here we are, stuck inside Nightingale Hall, setting up preparations for our new 'cistern'.

No one was happy about the change, but here you have a Daedric Princes protection. Karliah laid the ground rules on what could be and couldn't be done here. It was a bit smaller than we'd wagered but we managed somehow. We'd lost our merchants as well, as none of them wanted to risk themselves setting up shop in a place they wouldn't dare tread in the first place.

We were still close to Riften as we came back and forth, discreetly accessing our things during the night hours. I hadn't heard anything from Petra, I'd expected she'd gone somewhere with Delphine or something like that. She'll be fine, I'm sure of it.

I think Karliah was a bit ashamed and embarrassed about it all. Whether or not she'd receive backlash from Nocturnal herself was unknown, but she never mentioned it as she controlled the situation from within, while we were still getting ourselves settled.

This was one of the reasons I didn't want to be Guildmaster. I wouldn't be able to make decisions like that on a whim, I'm happy to relay the orders, be the eyes and ears but everything else, I simply don't want that responsibility nor the complications that came with it. I was worried the lass would think she would have to do it all on her own. She'll always have myself, Delvin and Vex to keep a lid on things if necessary.

( _"I know how she feels. A price to pay for ones leadership is to be the very front of the cause...the dedication to let the ideals stay alive. A hard task to manage."_ )

Aye. The load for me would be too much to bare. I know with all of what was going on, that part of it was my fault for letting it get this far and I feel like I've damaged the Guild's reputation somewhat. Some may say I've made the occasional attempt, but in the end...what were we actually trying to achieve?

I had helped out everyone else until they were pretty much half down with all the beds that had been taken to pieces then resembled themselves again in now time. A lot of the members just plonked to bed afterwards. I decided to do so too, only from Karliah's orders. Girl never really slept. I hope she wouldn't over do herself or sacrifice herself to Nocturnal yet again. I still have faith in her to do the right thing, just like with Petra.

I hardly rested that night, worrying about Petra as usual. My dreams weren't too flash either. Although I did find myself on top of a mountain in some weird temple with a shrine of Akatosh. Priest is that you?

( _"No."_ )

Alright then. The skies themselves were a pure cascade and the clouds that settled below swallowed the base of the mountain. I heard wings flapping, with an Amethyst Dragon flying down and perching itself on a nearby stone carving.

"Evening." I told him. That had to be Hahnubopraan.

"Greetings Brynjolf. I have brought you here to tell you, that there is something happening involving tiid itself, becoming increasingly unstable..." He told me. Good grief.

I crossed my arms, unsure of what the dragon was on about. But there was always something to be done. No rest for the wicked, n' all that.

"What makes you say that?" I asked him.

He stretched his wings out. I don't know magic all that well, but I obviously knew this was bad.

"I have spoken with the other dovah and we all over sensed it. It may have to do with the fact that Alduin's return was somewhat time related...but Zu'u los ni bek." He explained further.

He wasn't sure. But to sense something that makes the dragons shift in their theoretical boots, does mean it's potentially worse.

"Any contact with Petra?" I had to ask. Just curious and being a concerned boyfriend as all.

He shook his head.

"No. I haven't heard from her. I have spoken with the Realm-Walker recently, who revealed this to me. She wanted me to keep an eye on the vennesetiid, the currents of time." He answered.

I had heard quite a bit about that lately. Though I was trying to figure what it had to do with anything. But for the Realm-Walker to say it? Don't know what she was playing at either.

"How does a dragon keep an eye on these...currents?" I questioned.

He looked over the mountain, seeing the sun rise in the distance cradled between mountains.

"Dovah are more naturally attuned to the forces of time than mortals are. We are everlasting, but to go back in time to see...to see at all requires using these Currents is the mind of the being that contains it." He said.

That made sense. Dragons and immortality with the power to detect time faults to boot.

"Would Petra have this sense?" I wondered. 

He nodded. I would have figured she had to. Maybe not fully understand it but in way that her mind could handle it.

"Petra has inherited our basics and interests. Without the living forever part and being called Vingson, meaning, wingless." He explained.

_("Vingson, yes. Makes sense.")_

"We're supposed to be it's guardians but since Alduin was in control he's diverted us from our bormah's true intentions.. Many did follow him but most went their own way afterwards. Now he must die."

He sounded so quaint and calm about it. It wasn't my job to kill Alduin, but to give all the support Petra needed for that one, fateful day.

"Gotta any tips for the next part?" I asked. More help, the better.

I asked that because I know this is turning into a type of mad rush to set things right again. And we're smack down in the middle of it. All of us.

"Hmmm...just be prepared. If you see something unusual, take it to the Throat of the World. Paarthurnax should be able to handle it from his end. The Throat has some magical power that's supposed to resonate with the Kel, the Elder Scroll." He continued.

No wonder I felt a type weird energy when we there last. I didn't acknowledge at first. But I think now I know why.

"My father has an Elder Scroll according to Petra. Which mean I'll have to go out to find him." I said, exasperated.

Not that I wanted to of course. What a silly thing to assume that I wanted to. I just have to and a lot of the documents that Petra brought back were alarming, but otherwise unrelated to Elder Scrolls themselves. Maybe one or two references here and there...that's just about it really.

He nodded.

"Just keep asking questions. I'm sure you'll find the answers. I'll see if I can get in contact with the Realm-Walker, so she can discuss the currents with you further. Stay here, I'll be right back." He said, before he flew off.

This was just a dream. Just very short, thankfully enough.


	73. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf is determined to find his dad, but first he has to rescue Petra...again. But at least she isn't dead this time.

 

Who knows where the mans gone. I just need to find him. And kill him.

We're pooling all our resources together, including the use of our contacts in the other holds, to track down Prolg. We're sticking it pretty thin, with the Thalmor consistently on our hides. I just hope Petra's doing okay. Prolg is resourceful himself, however. That's the only problem. He's also very charismatic and manipulative. He's been like that ever since I've known him. Probably how he got to mother. I've almost come to terms with having to kill him to protect ourselves and everyone else involved.

Delvin had spoken with Astrid, whom was willing to kill anyone standing in our way, which was a bonus. This wasn't just an issue for the Guild, but this counted everyone in Skyrim who were just as alive. Alduin's goal is primarily one of destruction that doesn't discriminate. I had finished up with what I had to do with the Guild, ensuring they were kept safe and made my way towards Riverwood to meet up with Petra. I'm certain she's been waiting there for sometime. I was tied up with duties that called for my help, but now I know we're okay for the moment, as I took Lucky and rode towards the small town.

Ultimately, the idea was to track down Prolg and get the Elder Scroll off him. It's going to be sure fire way to Oblivion, but it was critical for us to get him to hand it over. Or, the prefered method of prying it from his cold, dead hands.

Especially with the Thalmor on board. Elves plus dragons equals very bad for business. Once we take him down I'm sure there's going to be another war on our hands. I aim to make sure that we send the truth out to anyone. I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea of it, but I'm afraid we'd be left out of the choice.

I'd arrived in Riverwood before noon, heading towards the Inn and meeting up in Delphine's little hiding place. However, I'd seen Ayisha crying on the footsteps, with two children alongside her, trying to comfort her.

I knelt down beside the young lass and patted her back.

"Hey little kitten." I called her.

"It's...Papa..."

She instantly hugged me and cried all the harder. I looked at the other kids, raising an eyebrow.

"What happened?" I asked them.

The young lad shrugged.

"She said her mama was going to be quick, but the Innkeeper received a message saying that's she gone to Solitude." He said.

Solitude? What...

"Yeah she started crying. I think she really misses her." Said the young girl.

I had a feeling Ayisha knew otherwise. I have no idea why Petra would return back to Solitude.

I thanked the kids and went inside, taking Ayisha with me and sitting her down on Delphine's bed, putting her little head to rest and trying to calm her down. I rubbed her head and kept her close.

"Hey, hey...where did Mama really go?" I asked her.

She rubbed her eye and sniffed. I knew Ayisha wouldn't have felt comfortable sharing with everyone else in full view.

"Mama...she...sent a message. Ask Delphine." She answered.

I looked up as Delphine and... Esbern walked up the steps. I got up and crossed my arms.

"The little one tells me Petra went to Solitude. Is this true?" I asked her.

Delphine shook her head and introduced me to Esbern as Petra's colleague and walked us downstairs.

"Ahh yes. We'd received a notification from a man named Hadvar, who had arrested her and taken her to Solitude. Presumably for either...something to do with your organization...or because of the Thalmor's association with the Empire...or from Delphine's retelling of prior events, due to the infiltration of the Embassy. It doesn't exactly spell out hospitality mind you." Esbern commented.

Arrested? Shor's bones. She always seems to find trouble. I'm gonna assume she's still okay for mean while. I stress about her a lot, but I have to keep the faith, where I normally had none.

"Which is odd. Hadvar seems like a nice man. Although with him being a soldier n' all, Petra still should have been more careful." Delphine noted.

We heard noises coming from up the stairs. Turns out it was Ayisha walking down and had stopped crying.

"Mama told me she was going with this man. Maybe it was this Hadvar." She stated.

I browed. Honestly Petra...

"Did they say where they were going?" I asked.

Ayisha started to play with her tail, extremely nervous as her eyes were darted to the floor.

"Uh...Ayisha knows that Mama said she was going somewhere and that she'll be back in a few hours...then courier came and gave Delphine the message. Ayisha is worried." She answered.

I held her close by, as she clung on to my leg. Poor lass.

"What else do you know of this Hadvar?" I asked. His head will roll if he so much as touches Petra.

Delphine rubbed her chin.

"He's an Imperial Soldier with family here in Riverwood. Comes by every so often, has a drink then leaves. A Nord if you will. But...it reminds me of a story he told me a few months back when he came...oh Gods.." She said, seemingly remembering something.

I looked at the Breton with confusion.

"What?"

She crossed her arms and looked at the map of Skyrim on the table.

"Sorry, just remembered a story he told me once. He'd come back from Helgen after the Dragon attack there. He mentioned being with a young woman who came back with him after that, and was sort of lost and confused herself." She continued.

Esbern was a bit skeptical. He hadn't known Petra for that long so I expected him to be.

"You think that could have been Petra. Anything else?" I wondered. If it was, why would...I had a few theories but...

"Hadvar told me she went to Whiterun. I'd gone there at some stage speaking with Farengar the Court Wizard after I heard the story of the dragon attack. It was my business to figure out the truth and I had known Farengar previously was curious into looking into the dragon attacks while everyone else had their tail between their legs...uh metaphorically speaking." Delphine continued, almost forgetting Ayisha was still in the room.

"I had asked him to find a Dragonstone Tablet that Esbern once mentioned back in the past. It sounded like nonsense but..."

We all looked at the elder man.

"Yes. I recall telling you that and you ignored it. But when everything suddenly went into place it made sense. Didn't really do much else for the rest of the Blades now did it?" Esbern pointed out.

Delphine rolled her eyes.

"We suspected it, but none of us knew when it was going to happen." She said. "You can only prepare so much with little detail to go on with. Besides that of course, he wasn't really going anywhere. A few of the people he'd sent had died in the progress of retrieving it. Until he'd found someone. A young woman, frail looking and covered in dirt and cobwebs. I was...surprised to say the least for someone like her wearing basic armor and so forth. I knew then she was something different. Now I know why."

Even back then, it sounded like Petra handled herself pretty well even without the best gear and proves that appearances are indeed deceiving. Still...

"Could she have gone back to Helgen?" Esbern wondered.

"If she had gone back there with this Hadvar fellow, could it have been an ambush?"

Those two would know about those, they'd have to have been cautious ever since the war ended.

"Anythings possible. I wouldn't have a clue why she'd go back there either. Even the sheer mention of it gives her shivers." I explained.

Delphine nodded. She was there when Petra's phobia acted up. She'll know the full extent of where that lies.

"The only people who know those horrors are those who are there to witness it." She put forth very well.

I know Petra at times has told me that she had nightmares for weeks, trying to get the images of fire and death out of her head. So many factors and yet, she still remains a mystery to us all. I've been with her a lot and there's always a few things I don't know about that I find out eventually that still manage to be surprising.

"Exactly. So what's the plan? Head to Solitude and break her out?" I suggested.

Delphine agreed, however she still seemed troubled.

"I would like to. But the letter states that not to worry about Petra, that she is in capable hands. Whether that means to go get her or not is ambiguous. If it is Hadvar, I'd say he's doing what he can to make sure she stays alive." She theorized.

I'll forever worry. My head tells me that's she's going to be fine and my heart always argues with me. This always happens to Petra a lot. Her pride or what ever is most likely telling us that she can save herself. She'll need a helping hand for sure.

"I'll go to Solitude then. I'll have to snuff out what's going on. Hadvar sounds suspicious despite your descriptions of him." I told her. Then I'd almost forgotten the second most important piece.

"I'll need to let you know the Guild has moved elsewhere."

Delphine tilted her head. If we're gonna win this, we'll need the Blades, whether we like it or not.

"The Thalmor?" She assumed.

The look in her eyes indicated she fully grasped the mess we were in. She understood those fears, even more so.

"Aye." I acknowledged. "It got a bit messy. Everyone is okay though...Prolg himself lead a team inside the Flagon. Even though they're gone, we didn't take any chances in staying there in case they came back. Simply because of what Petra and I are."

On the run...from the Thalmor mostly. It could be worse, having the Empire itself on our backs. But thanks to Petra's efforts, they won't be a problem.

"Smart move. The Thalmor are very calculated, cunning and dedicated to their cause. Which may make it difficult to be prancing around Solitude like that. They have their influence, but you're also lucky you're not in Markarth where they keep a strict eye on those sorts of things. " Delphine stated.

True. But as Solitude as the Empire's hideout, going against it may sound like a Stormcloak plot to take Solitude or what ever crap gets into their thick skulls.

The plan I had devised involved going straight to Solitude, but at night, and figure a way to find where she was. If I knew Solitude, she'd most likely was being held in the dungeons in Castle Dour. If I was going to get there in time and at night, I had to leave now.

* * *

I wondered if Ayisha should come with me. I'd rather her stay here more with Delphine but, then again, if anything comes up, I may need a second pair of hands. Delphine herself wasn't sure and Esbern didn't know what to think. But, she was like Petra in that regard, resourceful and did what she was told. Most of the time.

I directed them both and mapped out where the new Thieves Guild base was located just in case they needed to get in contact with Karliah for any reason, for resources or for more information. Either way, breaking Petra out from the dungeons was my first priority.

We took Lucky and rode up north as fast as we could. Shor knows what they had planned up there. I couldn't help but think what they would do with her. Chop her head off? Torture her? Hadvar was with the Legion from what Delphine explained and maybe if they were doing it because of what happened with Helgen, or if its something to do with their Thalmor puppeteers. Worst part is if Prolg was with her...Gods don't know what I would do. I'd lose myself entirely.

Thankfully, it just came to sunset when I got to Solitude.


	74. Imprisoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra tries negotiating with Hadvar to try and find a way to escape, though she finds out something quite interesting yet disturbing.

 

Hadvar was pleasant enough in escorting me back to Solitude with no questions asked. If I could speak with Tullius, apparently the man who wanted my head off by accident, then we would be able to rectify the situation.

I would have a means to escape even if they confiscated all my gear. I had Nocturnal at my back and the Thieves Guild ready to help out. I feel wrong for asking for their help since I was going to be imprisoned willingly. But what other choice do I have besides getting an ice spike to a face from a prejudiced elf?

I had to be extremely careful in where I had to tread. It would only be a matter of time before my neck would meet the chopping block again. So I had to make sure I had something put in place before it got worse.

We got to Solitude without much issue. I shadowed my head with my hood as I walked past with Hadvar and the other imperial soldiers as they took me to Castle Dour. I kept running figures in my head in response to what ever scenario I came across, that I would have a way out with my own life to escape and deliver more information to the Guild.

Erikur would be able to provide some sort of support. I'd wager. Open doors. Scum of a man, but he's our ally. Gulum-Ei as well owes me a few favours. That sort of connection was crucial to me. The more on my side, the more likely for me to get what I need. After everything that's happened thus far, being jailed like this was nothing compared to what had already happened, making me unusually calm to my own surprise.

* * *

I held myself up high even with my hands tied. I was confident and proud. But even then, images liked the flash back to Helgen occasionally, making me feel sick. Hadvar and I had gone there, at least I assumed, to see what became of the broken down town. And to be met with a hostile squad wasn't exactly exhuming my own personal taste in men who aren't complete scoundrels. But the look in his eyes tells me that he really didn't want to do it.

He guards my cell as I sit in the dungeons, awaiting my fate and continuing to think things over. Al I could hear was the booming quiet. I had parched down, sitting with my legs crossed and staring at the floor. It would only be a matter of time before I would be free.

Sounds a bit sure doesn't it? It may not like seem what it is because you've never seen me done it. I'd escaped Helgen, be sure as Oblivion I'll escape this. They'll come for me, you'll see.

Hadvar leaned against the wall nearby, refusing to look at me as he had his arms crossed. His attempts to have a neutral face were failing, as he was obviously in compunction with what he had done. None of this was his idea. He'd been used and ordered to capture me. Whether or not it was a Thalmor decision or an Empire one, either way, I am going to get out of this alive and with my head intact.

Simply because this isn't my time to die. Even when I was dead, I came back to life didn't I? Saying that, I'd sacrificed an unknown part of myself to do so. I'm not sure that part is, by Gods, especially Arkay, I'm still breathing.

I want to test to see whether the man knows what he's doing, or what he's contributing to. I'll have to tread carefully to see what he had.

"So who was it...was it Tullius...or was it the Thalmor who wanted my capture? I've pissed off both in recent times I think." I questioned with a joke-filled tone.

"Look they just told me to capture you and how we were going to do it. All I've been told is that you're wanted for treason against the Empire. And you've just admitted that to me. I'd like to know what you actually did." He answered, his voice rather sad.

"I have no shame in admitting what I did. You and I are similar in those respects. We follow orders to stay alive." I said, dodging.

I saw a bit of myself in Hadvar. Unsure, just wanting to ensure we both survive but we often regret the actions we take. I'd like to have no regrets, but the subconscious prefers to get in the way.

"So...was that why you came to Skyrim?" He asked me.

I rose an eyebrow. Yes...you could say that.

"In a sense, yeah. I hadn't planned to be taken with a whole bunch of Stormcloaks. I received a letter came north and then Helgen happened." I answered.

Most of it was still a blur and awfully painful to recall that my stomach burned again.

"Yet you feel ill when you think about it. That's a sign. You bear heavy burdens there and you had me thinking you were just some poor sod unintentionally wrapped up in it. Now it seems you're the center." He said.

In a way, yeah.

"Looks like that doesn't it? Not my intention but you turned your back on me..." I said, purposely putting the guilt on him.

Vivid images of that day came back to me. Coming off the cart in dready silence as I looked at Hadvar, confused as to why I was there...his Captain mouthing off the way she did. I was going to die even when I wasn't on the damn list.

"I had no choice." He told me, his tone weak.

I sighed.

"The whole thing might not be as memorable to you as it was to me, but..you have absolutely no idea what I've been through since then. And that little book that I found? That contained all the proof needed to say that dragon attack was planned." I claimed. I had a brief glimpse at it before they took me. Luckily no Thalmor were there to snatch it, but from the moments I had it in my possession, there was some damnable evidence, hence the urgency to get the details to the head honcho of the Legion here. 

He scowled, unhappy with my words. Good. Get angry.

"You think that day didn't have an impact on me either? Honestly?" He said, oddly offended.

I had to put it to him. If he truly feels what I feel, he needed to understand.

"I felt sick for days on end. I went to Whiterun...went to some tomb and fought off undead. Came back, the Jarl wanted me to take down some damn Dragon! How...just because I happened to be there at Helgen and survived to tell the tale. Why didn't you fight off a Dragon? You have experience! You survived!" I argued.

His face fell. I wanted him to feel every inch of my anger towards him. Just...

"You followed orders. Yes. We lived, together yes..." I said speaking low with a bit of impact.

"But...you wouldn't have believed to what had happened to me since then. You and your legion have to worry about Stormcloak Rebels. While I've fought off Dragons because I have to. I'm the only one who can."

It was then he finally looked at me with a twitch in his lip. I felt an odd sensation.

"I'm sorry that's all happened to you Petra. But I've never forgotten that day we had. You have a different set of eyes now. Yours are filled with fire. Back then they were empty. When I saw you get off that carriage you had the look of woman already dead." He commented.

I wasn't aware. My mind focused on the pain but not much else. The flashes indicate basic images from before the attack.

"It was probably better the dragon attacked us. You wouldn't be here because of it. And I'd rather be killing Dragons, than my own brothers out there on the field." He spoke with such somber.

I..hadn't. I...shit....damn it...

"Don't think I don't have any feelings because I had to take you in here. I don't like this any more than you do. If there was another way, I'd have taken it."

More flashes to Helgen made me feel faint. The roars...the sky, burning. So much pain that it had caused me, yet, I hadn't thought what it had done to others.

"I've had nightmares too since that day. I'd taken comfort in the fact that I wasn't alone. I'm a man filled with his life ahead of him but isn't sure where the next day will lead him. I'll never forget a single bit of it."

Oh Gods...no.

"Hadvar...I'm...sorry." I said. Great Petra, you're a fool. But make sure he wasn't saying it to make me feel weak. I stood up and grasped the iron bars. I was foolish to think I was the only one affected by it all. I'm sure these sorts of experiences make their marks on more than one person. I'm just being selfish and ignorant.

"Don't be. We're coping in different ways. But you know, what we did in the cave..." He said, his voice low.

I looked at him suspiciously. I can barely remember the cave. I recollected killing a bear and some Stormcloaks. I was dead to the world like he said and my mind was in a catatonic state, having no idea what I was thinking, or doing. I wouldn't have known how many I killed or how long it took. I recall Whiterun and everything after that quite vividly. The parts of Helgen are just...fire and death.

"You're right. We are coping in our own little ways. I hadn't been myself after Helgen. I felt exposed and raw and just not with it. I followed your orders to survive and I did. Why would anything else matter?" I questioned.

His face was just written with something that I couldn't fathom, like he was getting to a point that I wasn't understanding. That's the vibe I was getting anyway.

"You...don't remember?" He questioned, softer than normal. Hadvar...what are you implying?

"Uhhh...no?" I said.

He looked down, face a bit...red. This didn't look too promising.

"Hadvar...what did I do?"

He started to fidget. I stared him down.

"You say it wouldn't have been memorable for you. I said I didn't forget it. For good reason. I thought...well, the both of us were...kind of sort of lost in the moment..." He said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

What? If this meant what I thought he meant. Oh no...

"Wait, you're kidding me. We actually..." I sputtered with eyebrows raised and skepticism running high. But he nodded. This is...even if it was true, this is definitely not going to bode well with Brynjolf. But Hadvar's face looked so heartbroken I felt nothing but pity.

"Why would I? I would have...I don't..."

Hadvar raised his hands defensively.

"I knew you were out of it...and I feel bad for taking advantage of it. But you just kissed me and it went on from there. I really am sorry." He said, his face saying everything.

Why would I? No, he's gotta be lying.

"I'm sorry if it didn't mean anything to you. But you know after that day I couldn't get it out of my head." He spoke with such strain. That pit just came back to my stomach as well as I rain my hand over my head, trying to get a grip. Small flashes came back to me, reminding me of how I pressed him against the wall towards the end of the cave. Goodness what was I thinking? I fell into the primal urges and couldn't stop myself. Great Petra. You're only finding this out now? You really are a terrible person.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. It was just, relief I felt getting out of all that mess. I never knew it took a turn like that." I told him, crossing my arms. I was in such a trance I had no idea what I was thinking or doing, like I was asleep.

He sighed.

"So it was just a mistake? I understand." He told me. Gods, him and his puppy face. And he seemed so disappointed and saddened like that. But he had to know...

"It was what it was. But...it's coming back to me now, seeping through the blurs and the blank parts of my conscious memory. I might of have been thanking you, at the time, if for what ever I was in that state, the only way I knew how." I admitted. I'm an idiot.

He gave a small smile, albeit with a bit of tongue in cheek.

"Is that how you thank people in general?" He joked. Oh Gods, here come the flirtations.

I glared at him.

"What? No! Look, I'm pretty casual when it comes to these things. Well, I was until I became involved with someone else." I said.

Hadvar's smile got wider. Wait, how do that make sense? He may have pretended to be happy for me, but I know it had to be killing him. But I'm not worth his time. It wouldn't work. My hearts been claimed. Like we had discussed the other night, I am all of Bryns.

"He's a lucky guy." Hadvar stated.

I'm considering slapping myself several times over because of this. Why did this just come to me now? What is it with me and filling in the blanks in my life? I'm having a small feeling that my whole life in Cyrodiil wasn't what it was supposed to be. Especially of matters like this. I'd been with many men, perhaps I used to be like that. I can't think back that clearly. It's too hard. Helgen traumatized us both.

"Indeed. In fact, I figure even though I did send them a letter saying not to rescue me, they're probably making some plan to do so anyway." I said.

Hadvar wasn't used to the shenanigans we got up to. And they were usually the best ones. The look of confusion on his face was hilarious. Still, I suppose we're in the clear of...what we did...I think. He didn't appear to, but I was. Though, I honestly felt nothing from it, but judging from just observing the soldier, he enjoyed it more than he was supposed to, having that affect on him. I could tell. Brynjolf occasionally had the same expression when he looked at me.

And...by now my role seems to be getting involved in all sorts of crazy, bizarre adventures that end up doing something strange to me. This sits far below being a Vampire, which sits underneath being a ghost, to which, being a dragon is so far damn up the list it's not funny.

Being imprisoned wasn't so bad. I never had to be, since I was always so cautious in my work, picking locks and pickpocketing. Hard at times, but I kept watch of my surroundings. If I wanted out, I would have been long gone back to Riverwood by now.

"So, any word what they're going to do with me?" I asked. I wasn't scared. Only curious.

"Not yet. They've got Elenwen coming from the Embassy. Says she wants a word with you about what happened at the party." Hadvar revealed.

The Elf bitch herself? I'm flattered.

"I still want my word with Tullius, understand?" I told him sternly.

He shook his head.

"The general has little time to deal with these problems. He claims the Thalmor does it's own business and prefers not to be involved." Hadvar revealed.

That asshole. But still, I had to push on...

"Would he prefer to let them chop off the head of the only one who could possibly properly deal with the dragon menace? Again?" I scolded, eyes widened with anger.

Hadvar looked away.

"I don't know what they're going to do with you. All I know is who's coming to see you an-"

I noticed something strange on the wall beside me, I tilted my head, seeing something akin to...marks. The ominous orange and yellow glows reminded me of the word walls to which I had seen elsewhere. But. I was in a dungeon? Gods know what in the world this meant.

I raised my hand to stop Hadvar from speaking while I investigated this sudden session of obscure magics or illusionary, one or the other. The words themselves...spelt out something I had yet to know. It wasn't a shout. Felt like a name.

"Sotrahkun..." I muttered, feeling the power behind the words as I absorbed them. I didn't exactly understand them but...

"What is it?" Hadvar asked.

He must not be able to hear the chants. Or he may have. I don't know. He's not like me.

"Hadvar, the book you confiscated will tell all the details regarding the attack. It explains how the Thalmor got in touch with the Cult of Slaughter, whom found and pledged the services to Alduin once he had returned. I also discovered that Prolg had found out about me, and invited me to Skyrim. There's an insidious plot to destroy the world here Hadvar, and both Alduin and the Thalmor intend to enact it." I said. All that reading I did as a Vampire turned me into one of those speed readers. Heh...learning certain spells made it easier. Even if I don't like using magic.

He sighed.

"What about you. What makes you special to them?" He asked.

He didn't know.

"I'm the Dragonborn. You must know the legends yourself as a nord..." I told him.

Hadvar seemed genuinely surprised by the notion.

"By the Eight. So the stories were true. Though, was it your ma or pa who was the dragon?" He asked. That was a poor joke.

"Very funny. So you must know I can kill dragons permanently by absorbing their souls and gaining their power." I continued.

"That much I understand. But it wouldn't be out of the league of the Thalmor to want you dead. How do I know this isn't just a trick of yours?" He questioned.

How dare he? After all we've been through. Sigh, I suppose I should demonstrate.

"You have to know the thu'um then. I learn in an instant what takes years for the most determined to know about shouts. Here." I said.

I had to something that was a bit more discreet and wouldn't alert the guards as such.

" _FEIM!_ "

I felt myself change and looked at my hands and legs, seeing myself as a blue aura then stared out at a stunned Hadvar.

"You're...a ghost?" He quivered. I think he seemed genuinely frightened of me.

Soon after I came back to my normal form again, smirking at the man who had no idea what to do.

"In a way. Attacks can't harm me, although I can't touch anyone. Just in case I need to get away in the middle of an attack." I explained.

I could see it in his eyes that he was currently in a sharp, divided state. I would completely understand if he couldn't. It was worth giving it a try. But, if Tullius wasn't going to see me and if Elenwen was on her way down, I had to make the choice on whether to flee or to confront the woman myself. I'd let Hadvar down if I did kill her, restarting the war with the Dominion in the process. It was a hard decision, but I'd rather start the war will at least decent back up. Plus, knowing the methods of punishment and torture they go through, they'd kill Hadvar for even letting me escape. Unless...

"Okay, so here what we can do. You let me out and you can come with me back to my group. Join us." I asked him.

Again, he was in conflict within himself.

"I have a duty with the legion that I must adhere to. General Tullius and Legate Rikke would become utmost suspicious in my role here." He explained.

I figured as much.

"Then take the book to Tullius when you see him. Don't give it to Elenwen." I told him.

I guess at this stage if Hadvar keeps the book, there'd be more a chance to expose the Dominions plots against the foundations of this very world. He had to make sure it was kept safe from any prying eyes beside the Empire in itself. I hope they would have enough sense to keep themselves from running any outright war with them straight away. I prayed they had enough common sense.

"I'll try. I don't know what he'll do though." He said, sadly.

I wouldn't want him in the same room as me anyway. I told myself to speak with Elenwen and try to ring out as many answers out of her as possible. I had to expose the elves for what their true intentions were.

"We'll see." I said, sitting back down again.

I'm telling myself why do I put myself through it? I then said to myself, Petra, just go along. You're going to be fine. You'll find a way because you must. Had you have been like anyone else, you would have died a long time ago.

Even in the state I was in after Helgen and even if I can't remember the majority of it, I still feel like destiny was guiding me or I was simply writing my own fate without an outsider influence. I'd made the mark on poor Hadvar, who couldn't let go of any unsaid feelings for me. He needs to find a better woman, seriously.

I felt for the man , just not in that way. I thought in good terms that we could be allies but now he was standing by with thousands of thoughts on his mind, trying to suss me out and himself.

* * *

I wondered what Brynjolf and Ayisha were doing, putting out the interesting yards to figure a way to save me. I really wish they didn't, but I wasn't going to stop them had the mystical streams floating around me. Not noticeable of course, I was only daydreaming. But..Sotrahkun...what did it mean? I fell asleep, unaware I had been transported to the Laaglein. Interesting.  
I was on some kind of mountain, oddly flat, like it was just made that way. A huge river divided the sides. Clouds surrounded the mountain and they were everywhere, making it hard to see.

I wandered over to the river, and looked at my reflection. I could see the image of my dragon self before me, almost scared me to death that. But the water was an odd shade of blue. Very bright and sparkling, actually looking pretty deep for something as wide as three houses.

I saw metal-clad boots walking out of the clouds, red cloak inbound and grin on the face cradled by silver white hair and warmth.

"This is the Tiidbahyek, or what you call, the Time Stream." The Realm-Walker stated.

"The Stream is unstable, and I think you're the reason why."

Thankfully I wasn't surprised by that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update last night. I'd been at a con all day and wasn't feeling well afterwards.


	75. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra tries to find a way to escape, but not without the strangest of help it seems...

 

You know, when you've dodged death dozens of times and been in the middle of so many things, it makes you think whether or not you're liable for your mistakes in life that leads you this way. Personally, I'd become apathetic to most of it. Or because the issue with being imprisoned wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Or because this was the least scary or unknowing as everything else that's happened to me.

I understand the Realm-Walker is trying to help and she wants to explain and for me to understand. I'm having a feeling she's pulling strings she's not supposed to. And I am at fault for this, time stream being a bit whack, she may have gone too far.

That's just my opinion of course. But seeing that writing on the wall makes me wonder. I feel a bit strange after seeing it. It's supposed to let me know about something but I have no idea what. It's some kind of puzzle that may come to me in time, but for now I'll remain vigilant and hope it would come to me eventually.

The river with the odd vividly blue glow continued to stream down with little ripples in between. Didn't seem broken but I certainly was getting interesting vibes from it, like I was connected to it or something. Dragons are those annexed by time itself, born from the veins of creation. My very soul must be intertwined with it, just like all the others.

I wonder if the stream itself contains the very knowledge of past, present of future of our world. Though, from what I had learned from the Realm-Walker, it was the walk-way for an infinite number of worlds and that the Laaglein was the border that bridged reality from other realities.

For a while this world had been mundane and had a lack of finesse about it. Ordinary, filled with ordinary people. It wasn't bad. You get into the magic side of it, and you either understand it, or your mind explodes from the sheer amount of information and knowledge partaken from it. Who'd known a thief such as myself, would still be alive to consume much more than those dedicated to the studies of the magical world.

With what the Realm-Walker said about me as well, there's been strange emotional raptures within myself, I was neither angry, nor sad...just...neutral.

"My fault huh? Do you happen to know why that is?" I asked. It didn't hurt and I had no knowledge for the reasons why. Just assumptions at this stage

She sighed.

"It may not seem like it here because time is still okay in this world, but it's breaking others by not following the structure given to it. My theory is that it's due to the fact of what you are...fateless. It'll fly over your head if I go on. But the point is to ensure we don't cause a total collapse of time itself. Or Akatosh'll be furious." She explained.

No she was right. She explains too much I wouldn't be to get it all. But I hadn't had much choice in the matter.

"I'll attempt what ever you suggest. I'm in the dungeons at Castle Dour at the moment and supposedly First Emissary Elenwen is going to have a chat with me. Perhaps then I'll know more. But let me ask you...did you know that the Thalmor were involved?" I questioned.

She rubbed her chin.

"No...no I didn't. Most worlds I've been to usually just have the dragons for themselves. I guess this is the first time I've seen them as allies. Makes for a fascinating conversation." She answered.

I grumbled. She made it sound so trivial when it was downright serious.

"Then what do we do? I was hoping to get a word in with General Tullius about it, but apparently he's too damn busy with the war. I don't look forward to having a word with Elenwen. I've seen what she's done to people under her 'care'." I spoke with air quotes.

"You have a plan of escape?" She questioned, eyeing me down.

I shrugged.

"Hadvar's guarding my cell so there's no doubt that he holds the key. I've also seen a shadowmark nearby for an exit, but, he's watching me very closely so if I attempt he'll know." I answered.

She nodded.

"Any chance of fishing for the key? You're a thief, you should have a plan of attack." She told me with a smirk on her face. And that smirk wasn't much of an indicator of a particular idea that was ringing in her head.

Much has changed in the last few months. I don't generally mind going back to what I was doing, where it was steady and I lived off what I 'earned' I'm not a huge fan of using or dealing with magic because I wasn't raised to know a lot about it, except for my grandfather. Bout it really. If her suggestion was what I thought it was, she must have caught on to our conversation.

"You really think I want to play mind games with him to free myself? I'm not that type of bitch..." I called out.

She laughed.

"Break his heart or break his neck. Your choice." She continued in such vivid imagery.

Yeah right. Sigh...I've put him through enough. He didn't deserve this.

"Say I did...are you expecting me to use my abilities to get the Oblivion out of here?" I called out.

She nodded.

"You're supposed to continue onwards to Sky Haven Temple anyway. So many interruptions and yet, you're worried about a single damned distraction to set yourself free. You and your silly priorities." She teased.

I groaned. Time to bring out fathers old saying back again.

"For goodness sake fine. I'll do it. Only if you'll think it'll work." I said begrudgingly.

She chuckled. I have no doubt it would, but my conscience about this was incredibly strong.

"You'll be fine. Just get yourself back to Delphine and Esbern as fast as you can. You're going to need them." She said, before disappearing.

* * *

A flash of light summoned me out of the dream world as I stared at a familiar ceiling. I was laying in bed, staring upwards in stumbled thought. Grey, dark and made of stone. Now was I talking about the roof? Or...

I sat up, staring out of my cell as Hadvar was leaning against the wall nearby, looking at me with that puppy face of his.

"Sleep well?" He asked. Great. He reminded me of Bryn when he said that. No...no one replaces Brynjolf.

I wasn't thinking him as a fool. Not at all. I'd already told him I was with somebody else. So any sudden attempts to make him think otherwise would make him know it was a trick. I had to make an act similar to the one I did at Windhelm.

I got up slowly and wandered towards the bars. This made me sick. But...I had to do what I hated...

"How good was I anyway?" I started off as I retied my ponytail.

Hadvar rose an eyebrow. Confused. Somewhat innocent in that regard that it was like he was a boy trapped in a mans body.

"What?" He said, surprised.

I chuckled as I leaned against the side wall.

"You know what I mean..." I spoke, eyes clinging on to his.

Then his face turned beat red.

"Oh...um...very good." He muttered.

Are all men like this? Soft and out of real words when it gets a bit personal. If I could get him in a similar state and get his ass over here I could figure out where the keys were. I've pick-pocketed many times before. It shouldn't be too hard. I had to keep acting despite the wrench in my stomach twisting harder.

"Ah...I see. You know...I haven't seen you in a while. And like I said, my memory has gotten clearer since then. I must admit it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." I commented.

He bit his lip as I watched his eyes rip off mine, struggling to keep contact. Good. Making him squirm uncomfortably.

"Uh...yeah...but...didn't you say you were with somebody?" He asked me.

I had prepared myself for that question.

"Yeah but he's not as good as you." I lied.

No...not really. Bryn's more...heart felt. I honestly didn't feel much for it. Tension and ultimate relief for being alive sort of 'reward'.

"Oh...oh...um...thanks?" He said in response, still puzzled.

I tend to attract the awkward men now don't I? I got off the wall and clung to the cell rails closest to where he was standing.

"I suppose if Elenwen prefers to have dozens of arrows flung to my torso, my body burning, hung or the classic beheading, then why aren't I being offered the finest pleasures before I part to Sovngarde hm?" I continued.

Hadvar gulped, being nervous.

"Look I already told you I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even know if Elenwen wants to kill you. If you just answers her questions and do as she asks you'll be fine. They are seriously the last people you want to mess with." He warned.

I knew that and I messed with them anyway. Now look where I am.

"I'd rather die than serve them. The are purposely going to destroy the world for some stupid reason. And the whole White-Gold Concordat is just some scheme to help speed things along." I told him.

I could tell he was conflicted as his face spoke about it all without him saying a word about it. I didn't like doing this to him but I really had no other option that didn't involve either of us possibly dying. But, he got off the wall at least. Good. He came closer. Great.

He actually looked pretty pissed off to be honest.

"You don't want to die in the methods they use, trust me. Appeal yourself to them and agree, so that you may have a chance. I don't want you to die." He spoke softly but with the anger behind it.

Of course you don't.

"Too bad. You brought this on yourself Hadvar. I'm going to die. Unless you help me get out." I told him with the sneer in my tone.

Hadvar grumbled.

"You may be right but there's not much we can do. If you're not lying to me then I don't know what to do." He said, slightly ashamed.

I rolled my eyes.

"I have a group ready to enact on a plan. I'm following the best course of action and you're prohibiting because of some law and code you have to follow. This is for the good of the Empire, I swear it. Or are you afraid of the repercussions?" I asked him.

I was definitely making him uncomfortable, that was for sure.

"No one wants to get killed because of a mistake they made. It's humiliating." He admitted.

I smirked. Such a loyal dog.

"But it's a mistake keeping me here locked up when I could be saving the world right now. But, I'd rather you live since you helped me in Helgen. I would...definitely owe you..." I said as he got closer.

I grabbed hold of his collar and with force I kissed him. He was certainly stunned by that stage, then kissed back as I ran my hands all over his body, trying to find the keys. I'd focused on what my hand was doing, rather than the burning feeling within me I continued to feel his tongue in my mouth. By Gods...by the time my hand sifted underneath that his armour, his hard on trembled underneath it. He's really anxious about it too. But I had to keep him distracted long enough.

Eventually, I found a pocket with a set of keys. Perfect. I pulled them out swiftly as I pushed Hadvar back and I myself stood back, swinging the keys on my finger and gave off a devilish grin.

"Gah! You...you tricked me...you insufferable witch!" He spat with his face still crimson. He didn't mean that of course. He's just furious that I was playing around with him.

I'll admit that it was entertaining to see him angry like that.

"I say I was more than 'very good' after what I felt down there." I joked. I felt bad, but I had to make light of it. He tried opening the gate himself, but, my plan had worked. The Realm-Walker's plan, actually. So now I had the means to escape through the exit the Guild had made for any other members who found themselves in similar sticky situations. But I still needed my gear. Time for step two.

"You tell them the truth Hadvar. You tell Tullius himself how I escaped, on how my feminine wiles were irresistible. I honestly mean you no harm old friend, but that's just how it's gotta be. And again, you didn't listen to reason. So go. I'll be long gone."

I watched him grit his teeth and mosey on towards the exit. I think his mind was filled with misbegotten lust and desire. I've had experience with Imperials. And Nords. I know how to make their heads spin.

The trick is to do so with the intention of making their minds warped and forgetful. It's actually part of that Thief game too. Although, I guess it's the guards part to make them feel a bit aroused. Last time I played that game it got heated. Not in the bad way of course. Ahem...

* * *

Anyway, he had stormed out as planned, then I quickly unlocked the cell door and scurried around the room and grabbed my gear and checked that it was all there twice. Bow, Chillrend, Nightingale Blade, my general assortment of goods and my gold, all surprisingly still there. But...the book...

Shit...the book!

"Looking for this?"

I turned to see Elenwen in her smug bitchiness holding the black book and the smile on her face just stung me with it's arrogant bite. I held back the need to scream into her stupid elven frame.

"Ah yeah. Didn't think anyone would have caught you in the act of actively trying to destroy the world? You know the Empire will catch on to it, irregardless if they have that book or not." I said.

Elenwen chuckled.

"Don't think they would even care or notice before it's too late and they're all scurrying out, lost and calling out for their mothers. However at this point, since your little act at the party itself has made us wary of your real intentions Dragonborn. Alduin has proven to be a valuable ally and ensures that he will direct his...dragon soldiers on our enemies and to spare our allies. Quite the nifty agreement don't you think?" She claimed.

I sweat I will strike her down right now if I could. I could feel my Dragonself pulsing within, crying to get out.

"Yeah no one actually likes you or your group. Putting Talos worship to the boiler made things worse. Stamping it out completely isn't the best course of action. You elves never made any sense to me." I told her.

Mostly Thalmor elves really.

"No, but our goals remain the same to a degree. Even if your...pathetic brain doesn't understand it. We've locked the provinces tight with our rule and our forces and tactics will overwhelm if anyone dared to try face us again. And I doubt the Empire would want themselves locked in another war. That would be against everyones intentions." She said, believing herself almighty when in the end, she's a pathetic ant.

Yes because in the end death itself is the last part of the plan.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

She grinned.

"You have made your mark against us, Dragonborn. But I have been told that we need you alive for the moment. And-"

* * *

Wait...why did everything just go dark? I looked around, just...black.

"Elenwen if this is just a sick joke I swear to Talos I'll shove my blade right up your arse!" I taunted.

No answer.

Where was I? Not in the Soul Cairn? No...everything seemed empty. Where was I?

_Petra..._

_Petra..._

_Petra..._

" **WHAT?"**  I screamed. Those whispers calling my name from every direction were already driving me mad. UGH HONESTLY?

Nothing yet again. I was, again alone in the dark. I breathed heavily, unsure of my true location. Where am I?

Petra...

arteP

What the...

" **THIS ISN'T FUNNY!** "

Where..am...I?

" **WHO ARE YOU?** "

My voice just echoed into the abyss. Figures I'd be left in a place...a void. Fantastic...

What was I going to do?

* * *

"Ahh it seems I was wrong."

The Realm-Walker herself appeared out of nowhere, stressed a bit as she rubbed her forehead. Scared me to death nearly.

"For goodness sake don't do that!" I scolded, trying to get my heart to calm down.

"Sorry...you called to me while I was in the middle of my investigation." She stated.

Wait, that...

"That wasn't you just now?" I queried. My mind was burning.

Her eyes went from one side to the other

"Uh...no...hmm...strange." She commented.

"What is it?" I asked. What is going on?

"This looks like a Time displacement. Damn it...I need to get everyone on this. Don't worry, we'll get you out. Somehow you've been transplanted outside of time itself. Don't panic." She answered, so coolly.

What? Out...side of time? Realm-Walker what in Oblivion...

I could see the same writing on the ground before me as it was written on the wall in the jail cell. There's that word again.

 _Sotrahkun_. Come on make sense will you!

"Hey, what does this mean?" I asked her. I am so confused right now...

She turned to look at the dragon language.

"Sotrahkun. Oh great. This again." She murmured.

I looked at her weirdly.

"Again? You mean you've seen this before?" I asked.

She rubbed her face, annoyed at something. I was annoyed myself, but I've never seen the Realm-Walker this distressed before.

"Means the situation is getting critical. Look...I don't know what else to do. I want to tell you more but I'm not sure if that will make things better or worse." She answered.

I'm tired of all this secrecy. If my entertainment value was violating the laws of time and it was going to cause serious damage, then this had to stop.

"Okay Realm-Walker. Start talking. What is going on...really? Don't give me that cryptic shit. Just tell me." I demanded. I had every right to know.

She sighed. I'd known her to be calm, cool and collected but this was really bizarre to see, like this wasn't the Realm-Walker at all.

"We'd been collecting reports of the name appearing in random worlds, across time itself in each of them. We've summarised it's a message. From one of the reports and details, it's said Sotrahkun is the name of a very special dragon. For all we know it could be Akatosh sending us a message but it's unclear and ambigious. One of our...uh...sources says this dragon is 'white and pure with feathers'. What that means...no idea." She revealed to me.

I furrowed my brow and crossed my arms.

"Feathers?" I wondered.

She nodded.

"Thats what our source said. Proclaimed it as such. I'm still looking into it. For now, it's telling us something. Something is definitely coming and I don't know if it spells good or bad. Sotrahkun is said to be a good dragon, but I'm rather anxious and incredulous of that statement. It's just odd how it's come out of nowhere and now it's everywhere. But that's for me to worry about. Now, I need you to go back somehow. And we'll do everything we can to make sure these displacements stop happening. To you at least. You're lucky you still have my ring. Keep it on you. And keep doing what you're doing." She said.

I nodded. I'm still perplexed as to what the entirety of the situation meant. Time splintering or some other nonsense. I feel like she's trying to do the right thing at least. But...this Sotrahkun. This Dragon is calling out to me. What is it?

"Stay still."

* * *

"Petra?"

I opened my eyes, seeing the glittering skies above me. That voice, I knew that voice...

I sat up. Seeing myself on the ground. I looked at the glows pulsating on the Verity Ring as they slowed to a halt then stopped glowing altogether. I found myself starting at it for a long time.

"Lass?"

I looked passed the ring, seeing Brynjolf squatting beside me.

"Bryn?" I muttered.

He looked at me with much concern.

"Something...weird just happened now. Did you just feel that?"

I didn't know what to tell him. But I hugged him nonetheless and felt him rub my back. I so...puzzled and I honestly didn't know what was going on. Sotrahkun...a white dragon. What did it mean? Was it calling out to me?

"Hey, hey...everything alright?" He asked.

I smiled as I felt myself going warm. My head hurt, but Bryn was here and just him being present and holding me made me feel better.

"I've missed you." I told him, admittedly. I then felt him smile.

"Missed you too. Anything that you want to talk to me about?" He offered.

I can't lie to Bryn. Not really. But I was too tired. I was exhausted...mentally so. Too much.

"Not right now. I just...want to lay with you. Where are we anyway?" I wondered.

According to him, we had arrived in Dragon Bridge. I swear I had just been talking with Elenwen in Castle Dour. What in Oblivion. This was giving me a headache. He stated that, perhaps I wasn't losing my mind that, he just appeared here as well, then saw me laying on the ground nearby.

He was with Ayisha, but she too had disappeared. I was about to panic, until Bryn told me about the note the Realm-Walker left him, saying she was in safe hands. Huh...she visited him too, so it seems. By safe hands I'd imagine either Delphine or back with the Thieves Guild. Either or...please be safe either way.

* * *

We rented a room at the Four Shield's Tavern and collapsed on the bed. We cuddled one another...not really saying a word. My brain's been speared and I just want to be with Bryn for now. I know I'll have to tell him about Hadvar eventually, but not now...not here. I am content with what we have here... Brynjolf understood that much at least. I could hear him breath and sigh as he rubbed my back. I could feel him swallow as his chin was on my shoulder, as was mine on his. The silence was nice.

I thanked Brynjolf for bringing a sense of normalcy to my life for once.


	76. Alduin's Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf doesn't know what just happened, but finds progressing further to be more of their priority, as he tries to understand it all.  
> Meanwhile they finally make it to the infamous wall as they try and find a way to defeat Alduin.

 

Imagine one day you're selling bogus crap to get decent coin and the next you're dealing with dragons and the odd abomination or two. You then imagine how it gets that way, then the whole of time just collapses on itself. Ayisha and I were originally heading to Solitude, but in a split second that did my head in, she was gone, only a note from the Realm-Walker saying she was alive and that I would find Petra out on the road.

I wanted to believe the white haired lass. I did. But when it's sudden like that, it makes you question what just happened. I found Petra, on the ground in the middle of the night like she'd woken up from a bad dream. Her face was pale and her eyes widened and hardened at the prospect of her possible distress. She was too tired to talk and so was I.

I held her while we slept, my head trying to come to terms with a sudden shift of events. Petra was holding me close, not really wanting to let go. She'll talk to me when she's ready. And if that Hadvar had done anything to her while she was there, I was going to bust teeth out of his mouth.

That being said, something definitely felt off. Everything was the same but...different. Couldn't pinpoint what it was though. Petra was here and...Ayisha wasn't. There had to be a reason why Ayisha just disappeared like that. And I know that Petra would want to find her regardless, but we were left with our minds cracked and wounded, needed the sweet mercy of sleep to heal the scars.

I'm desperate to get everything the way it was. Just us and the Guild. But it was causing more problems every time we tried to fix them. Petra had some duty to herself and I was going to ensure what ever plan she had was going to go as smoothly as it could, as Delphine herself explained the details.

Whether it's due to...time itself? I dunno. I've been put through enough to understand the importance of time, the way that Hahnubopraan emphasized the tethers between the dream world and the so called Currents of Time.

I looked at Petra, in the middle of all this. I can't tell what she's thinking, but what she's feeling...She's tense and afraid. I stroked her cheek, that thin little face of hers...hardened as well, her eyelids twitched. What was she dreaming?

I had trouble sleeping. It was making me feel sick to the point where my mind couldn't focus. I was worried too much about Petra and what had occurred. What has her so down pat with refusal to talk other than a tired mind.

I then wonder what Talos would do in my position. He would conquer all as he had done. For all that we'll ever do, will never match up, but we had to try. Petra, while she might not say it, but she cares about the world around her. She may steal for a living, aye, but that's not the point. Her very spirit was born to defend it, but that chaos-inflicted heart of hers is grabbed and squashed when ever fate sees it fit. She has to make her own fate and not let it take it's own course.

I've never been much a believer and you should know that by now. But so much of Prolg's lessons has burned into my skull it's hard to repress the logicality of the life of Talos himself and the essence of Godhood. And...that damned Priest has said nothing at all for a while now, making me believe he's up to something.

I just want the power to protect her, but they make it so damn difficult when they put all the pressure on her like they do and make her seem she's the key to everything. No. She must do as she so chooses. They wouldn't choose her otherwise.

"What do they truly want with you?" I muttered as I continued caress her cheek.

"What is going on in that little head of yours?"

* * *

We got up in the morning, with Petra still abnormally silent and justified meaning of her words was distressing. Although we had something to eat, she then spoke of meeting up with Delphine and Esbern to go to Karthspire, to find out about Alduin's Wall. She seemed very calm, but her eyes screamed trouble from within. I've never wanted to push stuff like that out of her even when I had to, but she was seemingly collected in that regard.

The least off-the-wall part of it was the horses. My head was heavy as it was and I decided that they were just there. We both rode them to Riverwood and made haste as fast as we could. Delphine felt this was her last trip and gifted Orgnar with complete ownership of the inn.

We'd spoken with the members of the blades about what had happened, although Petra didn't describe any more details other than she escaped and a particular book that she had found in Helgen had evidence of the Thalmor's involvement with the Dragons and that it explained that the Cult of Slaughter had allied themselves with Alduin and that Petra's invitation to Skyrim was not an accident, forcing her in some twisted plot of theirs.

I was only learning this myself just now, but Petra didn't have as much detail as she normally would, only that they would need to continue onward to Sky Haven Temple to find the wall. Delphine and Esbern agreed without question and prepared themselves to go to Karthspire.

We rode to the Forsworn infested camps, across boardwalks avoiding and countering attacks. They used an assortment of weapons...self-made swords, bows and some had magic. It was a cloudy day and we made sure we left none alive in the juniper tree and rock filled mountainside of the Reach.

We'd gone up the steps towards the interior and fought off more forsworn living there as Petra took the lead with Delphine in the darker depths of this dreaded cave. Forsworn make no sense to me as nearly naked men and women. Basically, the reachmen were more barbaric than nords themselves, so they say we're a rowdy bunch? Take a look at the the bones and fur they wear. Entirely primitive.

There was an area we came across, filled with puzzles Esbern claimed were from ancient Akaviri culture inside this little cavern, with very little sunlight seeping in from above, shining on the trees growing on the walls and other minor vegetation. I wasn't much interested the history lessons, wanting to get this over and done with. Not just for myself either. But, Petra, the clever thief managed to get us far enough, with the assortment of tricks and mysteries she had solved, like the pillars, the stone panels of death and then finally coming across some weird marking on the floor before a stone face that according to the old man is Reman Cyrodiil. Huh.

He then examined the marking on the floor, stating it was a blood seal and that only that the blood of the dragonborn can open it. Petra understood, taking out a dagger she had and made a small cut on her wrist, very careful she didn't hit any tendons deep enough, but that made my heart jump a little. She's just activating the trigger Brynjolf, no need to feel anxious...

The blood dripped into the seal, causing it to glow and the whole room to quake as the door opened slowly. My question is were the Akaviri vampires or something? A method, while good, it prevents the unworthy from entering, But you'd lose so much blood that way. But, Petra was fine as Delphine wrapped her wrist with some cloth to prevent her from bleeding out more. Old Man Esbern was more impressed with the stone work if anything else. Has he always been this obsessed?

Finally, we had found what we were looking for as we walked up more steps, along side the long stone table, seeing a huge carving embedding in the wall, which was very...detailed. Esbern lit the braziers with his torch, then the four of us tried to make sense of it, as Esbern gladly explained the significance in the matter of the stories of the Dragon War and how the Tongues had sent Alduin away...then oddly describing the Oblivion that happened in between. Didn't know how they linked but they did. He finally then pointed out the end of the wall, with the Dragonborn defeating Alduin at the end of time.

I saw Petra standing there, looking at the middle of the wall. Her face was blank, her eyes fixated on the the picture itself.

"See anything there with any meaning?" I asked her.

She rubbed her head.

"Not sure. You see the story doesn't make sense. It looks like they used a shout to defeat him, but, how in Akatosh's name are we going to know what that shout is." She questioned.

I shrugged and looked at Delphine and Esbern, who were just as stumped.

"Well, we thought you would have at least known a shout like that by now, considering all the Dragon souls you absorbed on Fellnir." Delphine recapped.

That, was not part of what I recalled at least. Must have been the Priest's doing.

Petra rolled her eyes.

"Well I don't okay. I've gotten more to be worried about then learning Dragon shouts. The Greybeards have told me I must take the time to temper myself before doing anything rash." She said. Good advice actually.

Delphine's laugh was...a bit scary actually.

"Hah! If they had their way, you'd sit up there all day and talk to the sky or what ever it is they do. I was hoping not to involve them in all of this. But we may not have much choice. Just don't do everything they tell you. You're meant to have this power, but they're too afraid of it." Delphine revealed.

Petra rose an eyebrow. The Greybeards? Afraid of the power? Seems logical enough. May need to speak with Arngeir however. I'm a bit worried for other reasons.

"So...I have to talk with them to find this shout? Okay then. It wouldn't surprise me of this shout would help, but..." She said with doubt.

I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, let's not waste any time." I told her.

She still appeared distant in the way she was avoiding eye contact. She had told me she wanted to speak with me, but refused to. Instead she was...acting strange again. She felt the edges of the carving and scripture of the wall itself, walking alongside it and trailing her hands around it. I sensed something amiss. She then ignored the wall completely, leaving it to head off in another direction, opposite in fact. It was like she was in a trance, or at least following a blind trail heading towards the wall behind us. She'd found a room then investigated briefly. I wanted to go in, but she soon came out with a long thin blade.

"Oh...that must be Dragonbane!" Esbern said with excitement.

"A blade that the Akaviri would use to combat Dragons. I'd keep that close if I were you. Might come in handy."

She gave it a few swings, swiping it about. The structure of the blade made the most beautiful sound as it cut through air. And I'm not one for huge duels or battles myself. It just looked like an extraordinary sword. Though, Petra's behaviour continued to worry me.

"I'll practice with it. Let's go Bryn, we need to get to High Hrothgar." She sid.

Delphine and Esbern decided it was best for them to stay at the Temple to look at more of the stuff the Ancient Blades left behind. I keep forgetting they were once ancient dragon slayers themselves. And it's not something that comes up often in conversation either.

The both of us made haste to the mountain, dwindling towards the evening once more once we arrived at High Hrothgar.

* * *

Petra approached Arngeir, wanting to question about it. He seemed surprisingly hostile at the prospect of it, considering it heretical somewhat. She then relayed what the Blades told them, which made him even more angry. I've never seen him like this before. So the blades hate the Greybeards and vice versa. Hm..it's more about Petra and I hope she makes them see sense in common ground.

But it turned out that Arngeir didn't know and suggested speaking with Paarthurnax on the topic. Here we go again.

We got the top of the mountain courtesy of Petra's clear sky shouts, for some reason the Priest wasn't feeling generous lately and refused all contact. What is it with people and not talking lately?

But Petra was...neutral. Again, calm and in total restraint. I couldn't tell if she was severely angry or not. Or she was so pissed off, that she was roughly taking it out bit by bit. I was wary of her flipping personality and she just makes me so perplexed at times. Gods help me that I love her.

She'd spoken with Paathurnax whom, to our dismay, didn't know it either. But, had told Petra she made be able to learn it from those who made it. Somehow. It involved an Elder Scroll and breaking time, to which I really wasn't looking forward to. The only place I'd know an Elder Scroll would be is the one that Prolg had. I face palmed. But Petra noted what he'd said about the time wound used to send Alduin across time from the older era to modern times, that this was some sort of time wound that she could utilize and get strength with. Seemed reasonable enough if that was all we had to do.

Without a beat, Petra thanked Paarthurnax for some insight and meaning to it all and it brought us closer to better answers and a way to defeat Alduin to boot. Of course there's always Prolg and the Thalmor to be worried about as well as the state of the Guild which I hoped they were running okay.

* * *

After an overload of information this evening, Petra and I retreated up into the tower overlooking the majority of Skyrim. Beautiful views all around. She'd sat down with her legs out, continuing to have that odd peculiar stare of hers as if deep in thought. I laid myself next to her.

"Anything on your mind lass? When you act like this...you not saying anything actually speaks a lot, ironically." I asked. I needed to know.

She heaved a huge sigh. Here it comes.

"I'm glad we're finally making progress. So we need to find an Elder Scroll to learn the shout. You have idea where Prolg might be?" She asked me.

I shrugged. I don't think that's what it was. She was too business like. Too focused one issue whilst ignoring another.

"Not really, no. They've been awfully quiet as of late. I forgot to mention that the Guild has moved as well." I revealed.

She rose an eyebrow. She wasn't all emotionless, but she wasn't all there either.

"Why what happened? Something happen with the Thalmor?" She questioned.

I looked down at the cold, stone floor. If Petra was going to be honest with me, I had to be honest with her.

"Zoklot happened. Prolg and a legion of Thalmor came in through to the Flagon. He took control and suddenly the whole cistern was filled with dead elves. It wasn't even my own doing, but I'll still take fault for the matter." I answered.

She blinked and shuffled herself closer to me, putting her arm around me. It was nice, making me feel warmer.

"Wow...what a dick." She commented.

I couldn't help but grin at her choice of words.

"Yeah. But Karliah has moved everything to Nightingale Hall. Not as big, but it will act as the base for now, until we get all the nonsense with the Thalmor sorted. We couldn't afford to stay, lest we have another attack." I explained.

She nodded. She took that better than I expected.

"Understandable. Thalmor have their trickery." She said, too calm for her usual tastes.

It reminded me of what she had said back in Riverwood, regarding a certain book she'd found in Helgen.

"Tell me why you went to Helgen with a strange man?" I asked her. It was then she moved her head away from me and let go.

"Hadvar saved my life when it was attacked. I thought I could trust him. I'd managed to plot an escape from the prisons, when Elenwen came downstairs and boasted she had the book that incriminated her and her misbegotten group." She answered. But I don't know if that was all...

She spoke of that earlier, a certain black book that could start a war, if the Empire found out about it. But...this Hadvar made my blood boil.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"No, no. He's a good person Bryn, I know it. He was just doing as he was told." She said, oddly defending him.

Aye, and look where that lead you. I'll have a stern word with him for messing with you. Her face had gone pale again, but she appeared stressed as well.

"And...I've been meaning to tell you this. And I wasn't sure how well you would take it. But...when I fled Helgen with him, and this I tell you has no effect on our relationship what so ever, but we'd slept together at some stage during our escape. I wasn't in the right state of mind either...and..."

He took advantage of her. He wasn't getting away with that. Gods no. But, she turned to me with the saddest expression on her face.

"So the method I used to get out of there, was kissing him, I suspected he still had the hots for me so I used that and stole the keys."

I wasn't sure whether to be furious or...upset as a flush of heat ran throughout my body. Either way, I was extremely conflicted. I had to remember that this was Petra the Thief in the act and not Petra the Lover on show to the public. She's always been so focused on the work itself she does become a different person. She's told me as such in the past. How many Petra's must I deal with anyway? I couldn't help my own feelings on the matter, but I think in time I'll get over it. Brynjolf just...it's harder to not think about it, and maybe it's not as bad than it looks.

"So you used him to escape? Petra, call me jealous, but...do you...have feelings for him?" I had to ask. Just for a bit of solidarity. It's like out of some bad dramatica book. Me, the envious boyfriend. Ugh...no.

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Of course not silly! Like I said, it was just...a spur of the moment thing. You know what I'm normally like when I talk about Helgen. I'm slowly coming to terms with it in general and feeling a lot better since then. But, I have no feelings for Hadvar than besides being a friend who was only doing his job. The Thalmor would have come to see me anyway and would try to kill me. But he was delaying it as long as he could." She said with confidence.

I crossed my arms. I know for sure I wasn't happy with it. She held my hands to keep myself in the game with her and gave me a smile that just made me feel weak that I grinned right back at her.

"You make me happy Brynjolf in ways no one else can." She admitted.

Ah Petra...you sweet talker you. I kissed her with grins on our faces.

It was very brave of her to tell me this, but I'm still rather annoyed by it. Was it what she was conflicted with earlier? She'd shuffled hersef over again, sitting on my lap as I wrapped my arms around her, staring at the sparkling skies above us. She was less tense, but this wasn't the only problem she was being a bit anxious about.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" I questioned. She knew she could talk with me...I didn't care how much of made little sense at all.

She sighed. I still felt things were off but I wasn't certain on what was doing it.

"I'd like to think we're heading in the right direction, but...we may be making it worse." She admitted.

I held her tighter to reinforce her. It takes a lot of effort to convince her, but it's worth seeing her smile.

"What makes you say that?" I wondered.

Petra rubbed my hands.

"After Elenwen and I were exchanging remarks during my escape, I was lost in the darkness again without warning. Like someone turned off all the lights." She revealed.

A pit in my stomach grew again. I knew that feeling well.

"Go on..."

She explained in detail how the Realm-Walker was fussing over what she called time displacement and in her words was 'outside of time' itself. Which, to me, is hardly believable. But I was willing to make a lot more exceptions nowadays.

"No idea why it did that. She mentioned the...what did she call it, the Tiidbahyek? And that I was the reason why time itself is starting to fall apart." Petra continued.

Dear Gods...leave the poor girl alone or I'll come over and rip you a new one.

"It's a bit over my head a fraction there lass. I'm hoping it isn't too serious." I noted.

Petra heaved a heavier sigh.

"She said she was going to do what she can to help prevent any further adjustments. But I can't help but feel she was right." She said, concerned.

My eyes widened. No. That can't be true.

"You can't blame yourself Petra. We've come too far here. In some way we'll get it done I swear." I declared.

She smirked and turned herself around completely, put her legs on each side of me and resting her hands on my shoulders. Her face yearned to be touched as I ran my fingers across her neck.

"I know, I know. I just find it ironic that I'm meant to save the world yet I would be the means to destroy it. Doesn't make any sense now does it?" Petra said.

I chuckled as I drew circles on her cheek with my nose, making her giggle. It was so damn cute when she did that.

"No it doesn't." I replied.

I knew what Petra was on about to a certain extent. About the appearing in the dark. It was like time itself was splintering. How would I know? Maybe it was the dragonblood beingg just as susceptible as anyone with a dragon soul. Now that she mentioned it, Paarthurnax was a bit on edge as well. Perhaps this was beginning to affect all sorts of Dragons and not just Petra herself. I'm just taking a wild guess here.

"I swear no more after this is done. I have never so badly wanted to go back to work." She joked.

I couldn't agree more.

"Same. Trying to think what Karliah would put together for us. Or better yet, don't you still have the Stones of Barenziah to find?" I asked.

She lit up.

"Oh yeah. I'd found the last one in the caves near the Embassy. I'll..focus on that afterwards. Gives me something to look forward to you know?" Petra said, feeling warmer.

Good to hear she has a goal in mind that...well, wasn't as too bad and mind-bending as it was. And if it made her happy, then so be it. I couldn't got over the fact I was even related to the infamous dunmer. I've always had fire in blood, but I would have never expected a bit of elf heritage. Heh..I wonder if that's sign. I then felt Petra relax more in my arms, ready to fall asleep.

"I hope where...Ayisha is that she's doing alright." She whispered as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sure she's fine." I told her. I was unsure myself, but I had to have faith.

Thankfully I was getting a little bit of that faith back.


	77. Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra gets adjusted at the guilds new base of operations, then proposes a great idea.

 

He'd taken it better than I had hoped. I was glad. I wasn't sure about if I wanted to tell him about the White Dragon. I better have more info on that before going down any roads relating to that nonsense.

Still, the man's put up so much from me by now and it's amazing how he hasn't lost his patience. Nonetheless, we were able to move forward and plot our our next move.

Finding Prolg and the Elder Scroll wasn't going to be an easy task. As if he was just going to give it to us like that. If I was him he'd make himself scarce and he'd have to do it quickly. It was then Brynjolf spent the next week or so pooling our resources, figuring out who we could get in contact with and whether or not anyone had seen or heard the Cult in sometime.

Brynjolf had mentioned that Zoklotinhaar had remained unusually quiet in the meanwhile. No matter. Bryn and I had better things to worry about it than him. We'd gone to Nightingale Hall, which had been doused up with tonnes of beds, chests and shelves filled with books. Vekel had set up his own little...well, Flagon. Though he called it Nocturnal's Shade, which...was met with mixed reviews, especially from Karliah. It'd become a home away from home. Though one comment from Rune said it definitely smelled better than the sewers, that was for sure, although Thrynn preferred the smells for what ever reason. Each to their own but it's better than living in fear of getting ambushed again, that was for certain.

But you know, it's the sense of normalcy that's been lost for a long time that feels like that's running back into my life. These people were nothing but pretentious, self-serving pricks at the start but you get used to it and appreciate it. Because you can expect that sort of behaviour as...well, normal.

Because I definitely wasn't feeling this normal that I desired. It felt like my soul was on fire and it burned itself into my mind that there was pain that once was manageable through the soft singes, but the flames were hotter this time. It wouldn't be the first time. I'll wait it out, see if it decides to behave itself.

I wanted to catch up with the girls as well because, I wanted to see how they were feeling and whether they had any trouble coping with what happened with Mercer. And perhaps, just talk girl talk. Because can't we just chat like everything was okay for just one moment? Playing pretend was also fun occasionally...

I found Karliah in the main chamber where she had settled her desk, perhaps where she would be closest in case in the unlikelihood scenario where she would need to get in contact with Nocturnal. She was hard at work, checking out contact statements on Prolg's location. I was amazed on how well the Guild was doing this.

She looked up at me from her studying the piles of notes left on the desk itself.

"Something to report?" She asked me.

I grinned. I was at ease under the command of someone, than I was being in charge of something. Karliah's an admirable Dunmer. Though inexperienced in leadership, she makes up for it by taking input from others and getting assistance from the Guild's senior members.

"No, just...wandering by. We haven't had a chat in ages. I bought a bottle of spiced wine for the occasion?" I told her, having two goblets and the bottle I had purchased from one of the caravans, courtesy of the lady in Solitude.

Karliah smiled.

"We haven't had such a conversation in some time. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a drink." She said.

Excellent. I poured her and myself a drink and handed it to her, with the intention of making her relax somewhat.

To say she's a great Guildmaster is an understatement. She's made the procedure of moving around so smoothly and flawlessly and judging from everyone else they outright respect her. I've appreciated her own hard work.

I sipped.

"So, how have things been?" I asked.

Her violet eyes were attracted to the red liquid, almost subconsciously stirring.

"Hectic, no doubt. Alongside having to stifle through work, setting up base here was the only option we had." She admitted.

I nodded as we leaned against the desk, staring outwards.

"Nocturnal okay with the arrangements?" I questioned.

Karliah shrugged.

"She hasn't said anything. It's not the Sepulcher, so I suppose we're not really desecrating anything. We protect the link more so, so it's not like it's hard to find it if it's in danger." She answered.

Yeah, unlike last time. I took another sip. I had a few plans of my own, but it involved more individuals. For now, I was willing to do what it took to gather more information.

"Has Maven said anything about it?" I wondered, since the Matriarch herself had not been mentioned, nor had I seen her since my little play at the Embassy.

She chuckled.

"Oh you know what she's like. She wasn't pleased, calling us cowards. We're not that far away from Riften so if she needs us we're nearly right around the corner." She answered.

In a sense yes.

"But it doesn't have the same feeling as being safe within city walls does it?" I said.

She put a rogue strand of hair behind her ears. I noticed it had a hint of red, but it was just brown naturally.

"We're lucky everyone here can fight to an extent. But our role is to avoid conflict as much as we can. While that can be seen as the same as being a coward, it's to make sure nobody is harmed. Physically speaking. We do not seek death as we seek penance in a much more practical application. And the odd coin doesn't hurt either." She explained.

She was right about that. The Thieves Guild does what it does to keep it's reputation, the line between good and evil is often blurred with us and instead of black and white, we're coloured in all shades of grey.

"And how are you feeling about it so far?" I'd queried, not afraid to ask the more important questions here.

She took a sip.

"It's a bit overwhelming at times but I'm managing okay. Don't think I'd operate without the help of Delvin, Vex and Tonilia. Or by the other members of that matter. Despite our situation, we still run like a well-oiled dwemer contraption. It's grinding but the job get's done regardless. What about you?" Karliah put forth.

I had been prodded and pulled for the last six months. It's draining mentally and physically. But how do you describe post-reality experiences?

"It's been tough. I'm still trying to find meaning with what I'm supposed to do. But I'll be glad once it's all over, so I can get back to work without delay." I told her.

I think she appreciated that.

"You have more dedication to the Guild than you know Petra. And we're rich because of it. I think we wouldn't have pulled half of what we did if it wasn't for you." She claimed.

Oh Gods, here come the compliments as I felt my face heat up.

"Ah come on. You're hard worker Karliah. You don't give yourself much credit as you should." I said to deflect.

She was amused by that.

"Neither do you." She said with a grin.

Karliah and I continued to talk and finish off the spiced wine in what was once simple, then became into a snorting match and sounding like pigs when sharing funny stories. I longed for this, not the bullshit that came with being some pathetic saviour/destroyer of the known world. But, if I am to be this, I am to be the one who not only has an impact on the world but the people living with in. I figure, what's a world worth saving if I didn't know who or what was there.

I had to learn to care about others. To care about the people who put their lives on the line everyday, and to those who put in the hard yards to ensure their own survival. Everything is about survival and I think that's what makes mortals great. We can boast because we can take risks, unlike those in the planes that never have to experience total death in their entire existence.

I let Karliah get back to what she was doing and looked for Vex. It'd been sometime since our little rendevouz with Mercer and it'd be good to see how she was doing.

I found her at Nocturnal's Shade having an ale. She seemed a bit of a trance. I know, that with how I was with Brynjolf, that it was because of something I said or did. May I remind you that my distance was within a conflict of saying something at the right time and wanting to lessen the blow when I told him. But Vex's expression said more than words ever could. I sat on the stool next to her and tried to get her attention.

"Hey Vex. How's it going?" I asked her.

"Nothing that concerns you Dragon Queen." She back chatted.

Good to see she's up to spite. Always a good sign. Seems like such a contrast, that I saw myself in Vex, that I once rejected people. I'd never believe I'd open up so much.

"Oh come on Vex, speak with me." I said, trying to push. a bit.

"If it's about moving from the cistern to here or..."

"I said it doesn't concern you." Vex reiterated. 

I shrugged, pretending to mind my own business. But...

"If you're not willing to talk about it here, we can go elsewhere." I offered. 

She sighed.

"It's my little sister." Vex revealed.

What?

"Your little sister?" I asked. This was random.

She nodded.

"She's in Cyrodiil. Wants to see me." She continued.

"I told her now isn't exactly the time with all this bullshit concerning you and Bryn. She's persistent, just like you."

Okay. But. I could see why she was concerned.

"Uh...sorry?" I spoke, raising an eyebrow.

"You're originally from Cyrodiil aren't you? She's living in the Imperial city, probably living like a princess. Why she would want to see me is beyond me."

I smiled. Never got to see much of it, mind you.

"Maybe because she hasn't seen you in a long time." I suggested.

She took a long hard gulp from her cup and slammed it on the bench.

"Petra, you gotta know we're not like other people. We don't have a give a crap about others if we don't want to and we're free to admit that we're mostly in the game for ourselves. Business and coin are the only languages I speak." She balked.

I've had that vibe about her for a long time, even spoke to me as such when I first joined. She's never been really talkative, but I have been slightly concerned for her well being after Mercer. Albeit, I knew she was able to take care of herself, and she has fantastically. But, as a sister in crime, to put it in poor words, empathy tends to take over and subconsciously I want to help others.

"So...what does that make your sister then?" I questioned, seeing where this was leading.

She rolled her eyes.

"She's nothing more than a spoiled brat. Been like that since we were little girls. But you see she was overly arrogant about herself, taunting on how she attracts all the cute boys and I was like,  _blach._.." She said with her usual dosage of venom.

I was now curious.

"You're not interested in men?" I wondered.

Vex almost snorted.

"What? Of course I am. But I wasn't as overly obsessed as she was. Just because I wasn't the innocent little girl daddy wanted me to be, doesn't mean that I deserved that sort of treatment from her. In fact all I wanted to do is to find my freedom. I hated going around in fancy dresses. I came to Skyrim on a whim, since the Thieves Guild in Cyrodiil went bust and I caught wind that this one was still around. I left a note, saying I was coming here and not coming back. That was it." She revealed.

Rich, Imperial girl. Huh. I was a farm girl myself, but it looks like it doesn't matter where you grow up, you may end up somewhere still vastly different.

I nodded.

"No one cared that you left?" I asked.

Vex's grin indicated that the thought never crossed her mind.

"I'd like to think mother was distraught, but she was drunk half the time to even notice. Father did what father did and loved his work more than his own children. My sister is practically heir to his throne after I left. I actually don't care. If they do then that's certainly news to me."

She didn't sound exactly worried about that prospect. If that was the case, then why was her sister contacting her after all these years?

"So...what if something's wrong?" I queried.

I wasn't expecting any answer of hers to be overly noble.

"Probably lost dads money. Moron. Most likely coming here to find some rich guy to marry. Pathetic really." Vex stated.

I laughed.  I didn't have any siblings so I really couldn't relate.

"You really think that's the case?" I continued, getting curious despite the hazards that surrounded Vex in general.

She was in between yes and no.

"I dunno and frankly, I don't care. I'm here to give to myself and the Guild and that's what matters." She said, steadfast in tone.

I admired Vex for her ability to just not care. I wish I could afford to do that again. But my adventures have developed me more as a person, to understand that my own mistakes have far more dire consequences then one might think. But it didn't mean I couldn't have any fun in the mean time. I could be stressed, but I wanted to give back with the others had given me as 'fresh meat' when I first joined. You may not like her at first glance, but she is a dedicated member of the Guild, even when the coin was lacking,

"So you're from Cyrodiil...hmmm.. Ever play the game called Thief?" I asked her.

She groaned. Yup.

"Yes. We used to play that in secret, hiding in the basement in some schmoes house. Always made the boys excited. Predictable." She said.

Of course. They loved it. 

"Yeah, the games were fun while they lasted." I commented. "Makes me miss being that age at times. You didn't care about the world that much."

Vex nodded. It was okay not to care...unless it had adverse effects on their current reality.

"Sure...and leave it all to the adults. It's quite the change in perspective when you become an adult however and when you hit that age it's like wham, all this responsibility is sacked on you. If I had something that would just feed me septims I'd be set for life. But, I can't abandon the Guild." She explained.

And for once something that was remotely positive from one Miss Negative. I was trying to convince her to partake in a game of thief, but...Vex would play hard not to. Could find it vastly immature.

But...the Guild needed a pick me up. I needed to give something to them. Something memorable. Something that says thank you for your hard work.

"We should have a party." I said outright, even Vekel heard me.

"A party? Seriously? In here?" He said with shock.

I smiled. Yes. We have to!

"Yeah. I mean, obviously have to close the door to make sure we don't get too noisy, but a party would give the Guild quite a boost." I told him.

Vex wasn't too sure.

"Uh...yeah. Because now's the time considering from what's been said around the hall is that the world is about to be destroyed. Where's the happiness in that?" She balked.

Oh Vex...

"It's not about being blindly wasted, it's about making ourselves feel good. We're okay. We're alive. Living in itself is an achievement, considering all the fancy ways to die out there these days." I said to her.

I also wanted to enact my little plan that I've been wanting to put in places for ages.

"I think we're all just getting drunk as normal nowadays. Nothing special in that." She stated.

"That's depressive drinking." Vekel said, coming back into the conversation. But then he had an idea, it seemed.

"Nothing special, like you said, but if I can hitch up the right gear, I could have a word with Delvin about it. Get some special brew. Maybe speak with Maven."

Because Maven was always the life of the party. Ahem.

"Vekel gets what I mean. It's more like, celebrated drink. I'll speak with Karliah and see what she thinks. I don't want this to be all about me you know. I want to owe you all a thanks anyway, for letting me in here and helping me out." I admitted.

Vekel looked at me strangely.

"Does it mean the tabs on you Petra?" He asked.

I crossed my arms.

"Do you accept payment plans?" I said, jokingly.

He laughed.

"Hm...I just need coin to purchase the goods that's all. I don't know if the Guildmaster herself would be contributing to the mead funds." Vekel stated.

Our discussion itself made me feel...good. I think. Still a bit of pain here and there but if I could forget it for one night. A casual conversation is just...needed without the doom and gloom lingering over our heads. A collective ingredient in our lives is to enjoy what we have and be glad for it. I myself still feel a bit out of it, but for the moment I wanted to embrace what it was like to be what we are and not be ashamed of it.

The whole guild knows who and what I am and, I get the respect that I have desired for a long time, but, I don't know if any of them fear me or...hate me. They are cautious around me of course, but, I mean none of them harm. I am to ensure their own protection from deep within my heart. And the world itself, as it is my sworn duty.

But I got their minds on about it at least, let the word flow through the guild like, precious, precious coin. When Karliah caught wind, she wasn't enthusiastic at first, but being a Dunmer, it wasn't as worthwhile as such, but we managed to convince her to let us to one little break, then get back to work the next. She was reluctant, but she said she was willingly going to provide the coin to support it, but if anything dramatic comes up any time soon, then that was obviously more important to deal with. Which was fair enough.

It would be nice to see the Guild in such a relaxed and joyful state. To allow everyone to let go of their worries for one night and just relish in the rivers of sweetness and the comforts of good food to boot.

Brynjolf wasn't surprised. He was in good spirits however. However he'd made me liable for any mishaps because I suggested the damn idea. I just laughed it off. It was going to be fun.

* * *

I'd also caught up with Tonilia and Sapphire, who were doing okay. Tonilia had taken most the situation in her stride saying it didn't affect her much and Sapphire was a tenacious brave woman, having been through a lot herself. Tonilia was casual and Sapphire didn't have much to say. That was okay, it'd just been a while since I had spoken with either of them for some time.

I then, on a whim, had spoken with the others in the Guild. They never had any indicators that they had any issues but I spoke with them nonetheless. Some told me of their annoyance that they had to move and that this place was smaller, but it was quieter. Rune wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of Nocturnal watching so closely but she was doing that anyway.

Looking at them now, dedicated to their cause it makes me appreciate the hard work that each of them do. And each of them have their own little stories to tell. And I actually feel at home with that, the sense of family that I hadn't felt for ages.

But I had to admit, that socializing like that was exhausting but it made me think clearer about those I've been around with. I'd gone into the back room sitting on the same standing circle I was standing on when I'd first transacted the oath with Brynjolf and Karliah.

He soon came to join me, smiling as he sat down next to me.

"Looks like we're gonna end up putting my end of the bargain now..." He told me.

"When are you going to do yours?"

I tapped my lip. He, unfortunately, didn't forget.

"Hush my love." I spoke with such forced acting. "When I have more time and if we find a giant. I'm not forgetting my end of it."

He chuckled. A deals a deal.

"Any luck in finding Prolg so far?" I asked, going back to the usual business.

He shook his head.

"No. We've gone at this for days and not found a single thing. We've tracked Thalmor asking questions, especially Maven. She's been pretty charismatic with them." He answered.

Even with Maven the bitch she was, she protects her people.

"That's good news. Anything else?" I wondered.

He frowned. Oh Gods what is it now?

"I've been meaning to ask. You've been talking in your sleep a lot lately. Keep muttering nonsense over and over again. Anything I need to be aware of?" Bryn asked out of concern.

I forgot my dreams of late have had the tendency to be weird, which is why I want to grasp on to now more than ever. Just signs and whispers of that Sotrahkun...that White Dragon crap that's been coming about lately. No signs from the Amethyst Dragons either. Just...a lot of fire and Sotrahkun's name embedded into my brain. Was it that obvious?

"Just general nightmares Bryn. No contact from the Realm-Walker either. What about you?" I asked, also thinking about the other man in his noggin.

"No. No contact from the priest either. It's like they're sleeping or...waiting for something. But what?" He answered.

Who knew. I stilled missed Ayisha. Thinking about that Khajiit made my heart go cold. I love how I can feel the heat from my spirit and the chill in my chest at the same time.

"I'm not concerned about them as much as Ayisha. Gods I miss her. She's not even my daughter." I whined.

Bryn rubbed my back. I was thankful that he was still here with me.

"No...but I think it's important to hold on to. The chains to what we have left of greater value than anything else we've ever stolen. " He said with such strange poetic-ness.

Unless...oh Gods not again.

"Is that something that's come out of your ass too?" I joked.

He smiled.

"Probably."

He did have a point though and it's one that made sense. I desire the simple life I had once before, but there are those that I need now that I never had before. I was over-stressing things. I just wanted to have this party to forget that and let my mind stifle through so much quality mead.

Thankfully, that had been planned for tomorrow night.


	78. Thief!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a party going on and Brynjolf observes the infamous Cyrodiilic game in action as well as all the drunken shenanigans the Guild had to offer.

 

So suddenly we're throwing money around to have one night of getting pissed and doing stupid things together. And I couldn't do it without better people. This was part of Petra's little scheme however and while I originally didn't want to do it, I was obliged to as part of um...the failure from out little...uh...game...ahem.

Vekel and Delvin got the booze and while it was a night we'd never forget, we'd actually just push away our current problem for the moment and for once in our lives and have fun with one another. Although I don't know if Karliah thinks that Nocturnal would hate it if we'd trashed the place. She'd force us to clean up after ourselves, which after a heavy session of drinking, majority would be too hung over and they'd throw a bottle across the room. Dirge was still with us too, so he'll make sure the group doesn't get too messy.

How Petra was going to get the game rolling, I had no idea. I suspect that everyone would have to be pretty juiced up to comply. I've seen most of Guild drunk before, and it's just something we put up with. Thrynn get's messed up a bit, Vex herself loosens up a little and I think Garthar get's this weird laugh. And I'm certain that Cynric and Niruin get up to no good and start planning and playing tricks on people. It's all in good fun mostly. 

It reminded me that I've never seen Petra off her face either, and that time in Winterhold when I had one too many with the elf and ended up in Petra's lap the next morning. Now that the idea is my head, I wouldn't mind seeing Karliah loosen up either. Lass has had it pretty tough.

At times even though we are good at what we do, we often forget ourselves and get comfortable with the stress. It's not to say it's a bad thing. We wouldn't be in this business if we didn't enjoy our work. We all start of wanting to do something adventurous in our lives, then it turns into the hunger for danger and the thrill of hiding and preventing yourself from getting caught.

Petra had invited Etienne, a member whom I haven't seen in a long time and was hitched up with the Thalmor being 'interrogated'. She also introduced me to Malborn, a wood elf on the run from the Thalmor as well. He was a bit of a scrawny lad, paranoid and jumpy. We assured the lad we're on the same boat as him, having a whole squad of em in the Ratway which forced us to leave.

I think a few down his throat should do the job, make him feel better. Petra told me that she felt bad for taking him down that path, but to be honest, who would want to work for the Thalmor with the way they treat people these days...

The funniest joke that made me chuckle was Karliah actually saying to invite Maven. No. Well, only if she really wanted to. We'd sent her an invite, a private one from Dirge to give to Maul, to keep the obvious secrecy, but she'd decline. I just know it. Part of me wants to think she'll appreciate the thought but sadly she wouldn't think of coercing with a bunch of drunk rabble. Otherwise I would also believe she'd call us insane or something and not to turn suddenly just stab people out of drunken rage. I highly doubt that though. I think we're all okay with one another. At least I hope we were.

We're not exactly the most communicative bunch. We'll talk, but it's mostly about business. The boys would berate and taunt but that's just a healthy way of getting our opinions. We were thieves, not liars. If we have to talk we have to be honest about what our intentions are and that's the most acceptable terms we have is you don't have be afraid about what you really want. It might get you a punch in the face if you say the wrong thing, but in the end, it's better than retreating to rumour and gossip within the guild and keeping that crap about those who deserve our loathing...and attention.

* * *

We grabbed chairs and started a small fire and pushed what ever we weren't using against the wall, although we did eventually run out of chairs, using the odd chest here and there as we sat around the fire.

Vekel provided the drinks to start off with and had your usual food of meat and platters that were just divine, finest that apparently Maven had to offer. Huh. She may not be here but she's still thankful I guess. She honestly just has a funny way to show it.

I mingled with the lads and chatted away our problems as we normally do, cracking jokes and the like and sipping the mead blessed to us and made us all feel warmer within ourselves. We'd unknowingly separated ourselves from the women who found their own little corner to talk, while the of us lads chatted elsewhere.

"So, I reached under the table, only to find the damned dog underneath who bit my arm." Rune complained, telling his story of one of his more...outlandish jobs.

"Wait so the dog wasn't even barking at you when you went in? I thought they were supposed to bark at intruders." Vipir had pointed out.

He shrugged.

"It was an old mutt. Probably blind or something." Rune explained.

Etienne rose an eyebrow.

"Wait, why did you think the ring would be underneath the table?" He asked.

The man grumbled.

"Because that's where the entrance to the basement was. I hadn't found it anywhere else and they were bound to wake up any time soon when I'd already searched the place for hours on end."

"Did you find it?" Thrynn asked.

Rune nodded.

"Yeah. Once I got the dog out of the way it was pretty easy." He confirmed.

"Wait you...didn't kill the dog did you?" Garthar asked, concerned.

Rune appeared offended.

"No! I just got some meat and threw it in other direction. However, I'd accidentally thrown it to the old lady that lived there. I took the time she was stunned, went into the basement and used the other exit to escape. It wasn't even sunrise for another hour." He continued. Gotta stick to the shadows after all.

I usually am amused by some of these funny jobs. I try not to laugh but I do crack a smile now and then.

"Assumptions like that could have gotten you worse lad. Are you sure you monitored the targets routine closely?" I asked him. If he wasn't careful, he would have gotten caught or worse.

Again, he had given the face of being wrongfully accused.

"I'm not stupid Bryn. I never knew the old lady even lived there. I was so sure as I stalked the man that no one else was with him. She'd come out of nowhere." Rune said, defending himself so surely.

Niruin chuckled.

"Probably a ghost. Rune doesn't like ghosts." The elf joked.

The man grunted.

"I am not afraid of ghosts. I know what I saw. The meat slapped on to her face. If it was a ghost, it would have gone straight through." Rune iterated.

"I read somewhere that it could be one of those wispmothers. Beautiful but tricky witch like monstrosities." Delvin commented.

"Wispmothers don't appear in towns Delv." Rune stated.

The breton shrugged and drunk his mead.

"So the target is one of them Winterhold mages specialized in illusion or conjuration. Made a guard. Solid and efficient." He assumed. Old Delv was susceptible to believe in magic or curses.

Rune facepalmed. The other members on the other hand.

"The guy was a local merchant." Rune continued.

I took a swig as I continued to wrap my head around his story. Hm...well, there could be another explanation for it.

"Perhaps they were lovers?" I suggested, out of the blue.

The boys were overcome with laughter. How was that funny?

"Bryn you big softie!" Delvin teased, patting my back.

Shor's bones this had nothing to do with me and Petra already. Just...no.

"What? I was only saying that the man and woman were having a tryst. No shame in that is there?" I told them.

Niruin snorted.

"Haha...no, no it's not. Affairs make for interesting topics, and the life of two loves in between two others make great bedfellows. If you know what I mean." The Elf, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manor.

That was a terrible joke, but they laughed anyway. They may have had a few already, I wasn't paying attention.

"Petra and I are fine thank you. And that's all I will say about t- hey!"

Vekel had shoved another mead in my hand and took the empty bottle away.

"Come on Brynjolf, tell us more of your 'journeys with Petra.'" He requested, earning a few more chuckles from the lads.

"Like we're doing now. Searching for answers and prying about Prolg, that sorry excuse for a father." I said with a tinge of disdain.

"Woah Bryn calm down. We're not here to provoke the subject. We're here to discuss the wonderful life of having a girlfriend. Tell us...how do you approach the woman?" Delvin wondered so intensively.

I suppose it was better than talking about current events. I sighed. Petra would hate me for talking about it.

"You treat your woman with care and respect. Enjoy yourselves while life is short. Like you Vipir, you approach Sapphire so aggressively. I'm pretty sure Vekel knows what I'm talking about." I said as I looked at the latter in question.

The man's eyes widened, spitting out the drink he was having. Vekel in the meanwhile was apathetic, but I knew he was having some troubles with Tonilia, but from seeing them at times they're mending it somewhat. Some rumour floating around of me having an affair with her. Where in Oblivion did that come from? Must have been from that time when we spoke alone outside of the Flagon to discuss the issues with marrying the guy and would have been confused with a fling. Tonilia's an attractive and strong woman but I wasn't sleeping with her. This was before Petra if that needs to be said. Even so, Vekel's a great guy and I'd never do that to him.

"What? I am not. I just think she needs a little TLC, I'm trying to give her that but she refuses." Vipir rebuked.

I have had less experience than them I would imagine and they would still come to me for help?

"But you're doing it the wrong way. Learn more about her before making any sudden moves like that. Try to appeal to her good side." I suggested.

Another uproar. What now?

"Good side? Sapphire? Please, you must be mistaking her for your own woman Bryn." Niruin joked.

While I liked these boys for being themselves, they still think pick up lines gets you laid straight away. It's obvious that none of that helps one bit.

"You just don't know her enough. Just, ask her what she likes." I suggested.

Vipir snorted.

"Bah..she'll most likely think I've gone crazy and say 'I'd like you to get away from me'." He assumed. In a way, I think he'd be right.

All my, uh, subconscious wooing Petra back in the day was actually going to prove useful for once. I'd hope.

"Just tell her you're serious. A big note for her is to apologize the way you've been treating her. Saying you're sorry a few times will make her think you're genuinely remorseful and are willing to do what it takes to make her happy." I suggested. Though, part of that could be a bunch of random words coming out of my ass again.

Vipir was skeptical. I don't blame him. 

"Uh...I dunno...it just seems too sappy and out of character for me." He said, eager to defend his tough guy side.

I grinned. So stubborn.

"Give it a shot. It's a long road but trust me, it's the effort you take to make it work that often get's in done in the end." I told them, honest and true.

He downed another mead as his eyes were burdened with the contemplation of his actions. It's up to him to take my advice. An Amulet of Mara wouldn't do him good. He'll have to earn Sapphire's actions the hard way, after what Petra and I had privately discussed about her in the past. I then turned to Delvin. I honestly didn't want to go through what Petra had told me to...but...alas...

"So...Delvin...what about you and Vex?" I queried.

Delvin just finished off a bottle and breathed out with heavy sorrow.

"Oh beautiful Vex. I have to agree with you there Bryn about the treating with care part, but it sadly doesn't work for me."

I crossed my arms. I seriously couldn't believe I was actually trying to help them with their problems. For a bunch of narcissistic and tough men who can find their way through almost anything It was women that they couldn't find the secrets to. In my case, our secrets sort of clashed.

"Like Sapphire, she's a hard lass to catch. So you've asked her what she enjoys?" I asked him.

Delvin brushed me off. These men give up so easily it's sad really.

"Bah of course. She likes business and she likes the Guild. But she doesn't particularly like me, maybe because I'm old?" He suggested, sounding a bit said.

I don't know anything about the age factor. I mean, she's an Imperial and he's a Breton. Both raised on different standards, I would imagine. 

"Old or not, that wouldn't the reason why. You're a good guy Delv and Petra and I think the rest of us think highly of you. In fact..."

Gods...why do you want me to do this? Petra better live up to her side, I swear...

"Petra and I were talking about a game she played in Cyrodiil, and she'd told me that Vex and her, well, of course they didn't know each other back then, had played it back when they were younger. It's a game called Thief!." I said, feeling a bit weary after finally saying it.

Rune's face lit up.

"Hey I know that game. I was in Cyrodiil as young boy for a short time. That game was some entertainment for sure. But I think we would need to be a fraction more wasted to play that." He claimed.

Good...more people. Dirge grumbled as he stood behind us.

"Ugh...that stupid game is for hormonal teenagers. Are you seriously bringing that up?" He complained.

"You don't have to play. Just make sure it doesn't get too messy." Rune stated. He must have known what he meant.

Ravyn butted in, being very quiet about it for most of the conversation, although he was curious as to what we were on about.

"This game sounds a bit fishy. I want to know the terms and conditions first." He told us.

I smiled. It could be amusing after all. I turned to Rune.

"So, why don't you kindly explain the rules to them. I'll go talk with Petra about it."

* * *

Ultimately, this could end up the funniest thing we'd ever done...or the worse and we'd end up with daggers at each others throats. We'd had a few so most had agreed to play it after Rune told them he it was going to be done. Even Ravyn considered, though I think he's had about 8 already so of course he was consenting himself to it. Vex, well, Vex was Vex...hesitant but willing to give it a try.

I quickly spoke with Delvin, who was open to the idea but was wary of what it truly meant. The others, even the girls sat around in a circle. Petra and I had devised a plan that required us to at least be directive in our usual pickings. After all, this was mostly about the lovelorn Breton and the pent up imperial and pairing them together. Petra herself was loving it, but I'm no Priest of Mara myself. Karliah wasn't entirely convinced that this was the greatest idea ever conceived, but I assured her there are boundaries and that if it makes anyone uncomfortable at any stage they are free to forfeit and watch from the sidelines.

Petra volunteered to be host as she was the one who came up with the point of playing it and plus it was part of considerable Operation Mara as she called it. This was so stupid but...I think I may have had a few by this time and my mind was becoming adjusted to it. No wonder they say it's better to play while drunk.

"Okay, ground rules." She started, in her authoritative yet exceedingly excited tone. "No touching special areas. The Guards have three people to do a cavity search on. The Thief wins if the Guard fails and the Guard has to play again. If the Guard wins, he chooses the next Guard for the next play, and the last thief gets to choose the next thief. Simple? Good. Now...as your host, I'll be picking the first set of vic- I mean, uhh, the Guard and the Thief. So...who to choose..."

I wanted to laugh at how excited and enthused she was at this, judging from her hyperactive body language and huge grin. I have a feeling she's played this a lot back in the day. Wouldn't surprise me. But...Petra's plot was about to unravel and it was going to be intriguing to see it unfold.

She spent the next minute stomping around with the tip of her index finger in her mouth and her other hand sorely on her hip. She seemed a lot younger or maybe because she might have been a bit tipsy. It was really cute and it may be just the mead talking again, but...I was really jealous of her finger right now.

"Malborn!" She called out, pointing towards the Bosmer.

He was...rightfully shocked. But...I had no doubt he was fine.

"Me? Uh...alright...alright. Where do I go?" He asked. Elf was jittery.

She nudged her head.

"Just stand away with your back to the circle. And when we're ready, we'll call you back in. Okay?" She replied.

He nodded.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure." He said, uncertain.

Malborn got up and left for the moment, with his back to us. Petra pulled something out of her pocket. A ring. A gold diamond ring. She really went all out for this. Unless...haha...sometimes I forget we're thieves...Brynjolf you're getting lax with this.

She fumbled with the ring in her hand, looking into the eyes of each everyone of us still in the circle. I was trying to think of what was going on in that floaty head of her still and what she had in store.

She flicked the ring in the air and snatched, leaving her grasp in mid air and closed her eyes. She'd spun around and threw the ring at Karliah, who was genuinely stunned and stuffed the ring down her collar. Oh Gods. This was going to be good.

"Guard! Thief! Thief!" Petra called out. She was really into this.

Malborn turned around ran back on queue. He stepped back in the circle as Petra grabbed his shoulders.

"Someone has stolen my ring. I have a few suspects, but if you don't get to them in time they may be gone for good!" Petra cried. Her drunk acting was spectacular...heh...haha.

But Malborn was a bit nerved by it. I had a feeling he really had no idea what he was getting himself into. He looked around as Petra stepped out of the circle and crossed her arms, observing the events before us.

Petra explained to me one night of Malborns assistance during her little venture at the Embassy. And that Delphine had told her that his family was actually killed by the Thalmor themselves. And they hadn't realized that maybe a son of that family was part of their group of servants. Their background checks must be really pathetic. Petra would definitely keep an eye on him and everyone else to make sure no one gets hurt.

He had trouble choosing who to...uh...pick. He looked at Ravyn and suspected him. He pointed towards the Dunmer and Petra had to urge him to do the body search. The rest of us started to giggle like crazy as Ravyn stood up and stretched out his arms. We were really like children as Malborn reluctantly put his hands all over the dark elf. Ravyn grumbled and remained firm and in control a the bosmer went in and around his body. Gods that sounds so wrong.

So he didn't have it, as Ravyn glared at the Bosmer for his mistake.

"Just to let you I am incredibly sorry for that. Please don't kill me." He pleaded.

Ravyn just grinned.

"Ahh don't worry. You have soft hands though for a wood elf." He stated.

Everyone just hackled, and I watched Petra turned around to stifle her laughter that turned into a little chuckle.

"Uhh...thanks?" He said with uncertainty. Poor Malborn didn't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment.

"Come on...so Ravyn doesn't have the ring. Well, you have two suspects left. Make your choice or they'll flee with the ring." Petra announced.

Malborn just gulped. He couldn't think of what did to do with the concept of failure only two searches away. He bit his lip and fumbled with his fingers. Come on you lout, choose already.

He'd picked Etienne of all people, who rolled his eyes and stood up as asked. Malborn's eyes were closed as he looked over and froze when he found nothing.

"Sorry...but maybe you can massage me when this is all over. Ravyn's right. You do have soft hands..." Etienne spoke comically. And yet another chuckle from the group.

Malborn stood back with shock. Poor lad is going to have a heart attack before he's even finished.

"One more chance Malborn." Petra teased.

"Choose wisely."

He gulped and seriously contemplated his final choice. I think Petra wanted to help speed things along, trying for the next game as well. She started walking around the circle with her face held up high, like she herself was like Captain of the Guard or something. Didn't make it any less funny.

But the elf was so intent to read the faces of everyone and muttered to himself consistently. Who would it be? Who would he know to be the actual thief?

He was so scared of getting it wrong, but I watched Petra as she walked behind Karliah and looked at Malborn with locked eyes, as if giving him a hint. It took him a bit to get what she was playing at as his eyes widened.

He approached Karliah.

"Uh...yeah, I want to search you." He said so abruptly. This was better than work I tell you know. But the way he said it just made like a ball of something rise within me forcing me to laugh.

Karliah obliged and lifted her arms up as Malborn looked all over. He reached up and shivered as he touched her bra, which I think that's what he touched, since Karliah had the reddest face a dunmer could have. It was emotionless, but she looked at away as Malborn continued to run his hands all over her. Sorry, need to snort.

He was shaking as he brought out the gold ring as showed it to Petra, who just clapped and had a smile from ear to ear.

"Well done, you have truly earned my respect Guard. Now...choose your uh..successor. You're retired." Petra stated as Malborn gave her the ring back.

The Elf had gone pale. But he was okay. He ended up choosing Vipir to be the guard next, who had been sitting next to me, so the elf took his spot. He looked blank at the ground and unsure. I patted his back.

"Don't worry lad, it's all in good fun. It's not supposed to be stressful." I told him.

He heaved a hugh sigh.

"Fine...just don't make me do that ever again." Malborn requested.

I smirked, staring at Petra.

"We won't." I replied.

Vipir had gone out of the circle as Karliah got up to choose the next thief. I'm..sure maybe Petra told Karliah of her plot, but half the time I never knew what the lass was up to, only to find out what she was doing, much later, well after she had completed it and made her choice. She frustrates me sometimes when she does that.

But, Karliah had smiled, choosing Thrynn, to the point she was actually delighted by it for some reason. I was a tad concerned regarding this sort of thing, but as Petra flicked the ring to him, he prayed he wouldn't get caught. He would rather not be touched by anyone at all, especially Vipir. He would have been okay if a woman was doing it, but at this stage...anything could happen.

"Guard! Thief! Thief!" Petra called out.

Vipir came back and looked around and rubbed his hands. He was so sure of himself that he immediately started with Sapphire. Petra looked at me, not wanting any trouble from the man to cause the woman any grief. She sucked it up and bared it, standing up as he searched through her gleefully. Vipir, honestly, what did I just tell you? And now that he didn't find the ring, she punched him in the gut for possibly going where he wasn't supposed to.

"Vipir, Sapphire, play nice." Petra scolded. She was like some sort of mother with that attitude.

The pair of them grunted.

"Petra you were supposed to choose Sapphire!" He roared.

Typical Vipir.

"I don't agree to planning anything like that. It was purely our bosses choice. Right boss?" She said as she winked at our Guildmaster.

Karliah couldn't help but smile deviously.

"Yes, Petra is right Vipir. You either play it right, or don't play the game at all." She ordered.

He groaned.

"Fine, fine..lesse. Well, there's Tonilia, but Vekel would have my head and I highly doubt our boss has it. I wouldn't want to touch Vex if it meant my balls would be cut off. If you were playing Petra I'd search you but Bryn's here and I don't think he'd like to share." Vipir summarized.

This was ultimately Petra's choice. I trust her to not take it seriously anyway even if she was playing.

"Just choose dimwit. Just because it might not be a girl doesn't mean you touch them anyway. Do it quickly, you have two choices left." Petra proclaimed.

The man wasn't happy about it and I could tell that he didn't want to touch any of the men. I shook my head.

"Alright...uh...hm...Brynjolf?" He said, to my own surprise.

Petra's smile turned devlish as I stood up and rose my arms. I think she liked Vipir touching me out of some sick twisted fantasy. Gods...her mind is probably filled with thousands of ideas right about now. I held my breath in, until Vipir was finished and annoyed that he couldn't find it off me either.

"One more." Petra said cooly. Although, I'm pretty certain she's running that image in her head over and over again.

Vipir scratched his head. Then looked at Thrynn and rose an eyebrow.

"Huh...alright...you?" He said, being blunt.

Thrynn looked at him with a blank, confused face.

"What?" Thyrnn replied, as if pretending that he didn't know what he was on about.

Vipir nodded as he walked up to him.

"Yeah, I said you. Stand up and lemme search." He said, as his eyes looked around in a nonchalant fashion, then he decided to fake clearing his throat.

So much tension in these two men. Perhaps they should screw and get their frustrations out of their system. No..Petra you're a bad influence. And from the look on her face that she was giving me, she knew it too. She'll get it later tonight, no worries about that.

Eventually they found the ring, much to Thrynn's dismay and making him wonder why he was chosen in the first place. The Guild was getting drunker by the minute and the laughs sloppier. It was getting to the good part and the one part Petra had been looking forward to all night. She'd told me to tell any of the boys to choose Vex and Delvin for this next part.

Vipir gave Petra the ring back, as he looked around and pretended to think who he was about to choose. Obvious to some and oblivious to the rest. He looked at Vex.

"What? No...don't choose me." She spoke back.

"Come on Vex, it's fun." He joked. Yeah he was wasted.

Vex groaned.

"Okay, I'll go stand outside the circle." She said, with the feeling of defeat. I think she just needed more mead inside her. Haha...I made a joke. Apologies...that's gotta be the mead talking to me again. Telling me what to say.

After she made her way with her back towards us, Petra looked at Thrynn and nodded twice, knowing whom they were going to choose. She'd flicked the ring to Delvin and called out once more.

"Guard! Thief! Thief!"

Vex turned back around with her hands on hips as she strutted back to the circle.

"That was an awfully quick choice there Thrynn. Please don't tell me you chose Sapphire or Tonilia." She whinged.

Thyrnn's smirk was amusing amongst his current drunken behaviour.

"Sorry Vex, can't say. Find the suspect!" He said, sipping his mead as his mouth went wider than it had ever been.

Vex rolled her eyes and examined the pack of drunken men and women around her. Surely enough she had a few suspects in her sights and wondered which to pick. She looked at Garthar with fury in her eyes, although they were a tad hazy.

"You. Stand." She ordered the man.

Garthar smiled as he did as he was told. She went through him quickly. Hah...and was visibly tired from it...heh. So no ring on the man. She went and left him and looked for her next suspect.

Definitely needs more mead in her. I'll have to talk to Vekel about rectifying that.

I also think she was a bit disappointed in not finding the thief in one go, but if she was going to win it didn't matter who her second was, but if she was dedicated to win, she would want to find the thief in the second choice. So she must have been several minutes there, figuring out which one had the ring.

Delvin himself was desperate acting complacent, but that just it all the more obvious to Vex who had stolen it. She didn't want to believe it and at first refused, but at this stage, what does she have to lose?

She shivered as she pointed Delvin who gladly stood up there for her.

"Anything for you Vex." He commented with a warm grin

She looked away as she rummaging underneath his clothes, trying to find the damned ring. At this stage, she was slow, her face was still as she took her time looking for the ring. He'd put in his pants, the sly breton. She was forced..to...dig deep as chuckles filled the room, even from Karliah.

Vex's face had gone beat read as she'd found the ring in the back of his pants. She flung the ring back to me. Delvin had this massive grin on his face as he looked at me and Petra, thanking him with his half-lidded eyes. I could have sworn to believe, that Vex was doing that deliberately.

I wondered if that was enough to satisfy Petra's terms.

* * *

We continued to play the game through out the night and continued to get more drunk. We'd stopped the game for a bit, as we all could barely stand. We ended up continuing our chats and boasting stories both of tales and truths. And my mind was so boggled up I didn't care what would happen. Like I was in a strange trance.

Karliah took me aside for a little chat, as the rest just had the time of their lives. I think our Guildmaster was enjoying herself too much, as I heard her snicker as the boys chanted at Petra while she chugged out of a boot. I sincerely hope that boot was clean for her sake.

The Dunmer let off a satisfied sigh as the pair of us leaned against the wall nearby, observing the chaos before us. I kept an eye on Petra, who threw fists in the air and roared as she finished off the drink in just, what, fifteen seconds? Lass is truly a nord at heart. 

"For a woman who said her soul was on fire, I can clearly see that now." Karliah commented.

I wasn't entirely sure of the context, but I was inclined to agree.

"Petra does have a lot of passion, that's for certain." I said, taking a swig.

"No not that..." Karliah continued.

"I was recalling a conversation we had previously. She wouldn't want me to tell you this, but...she's in a lot of pain."

Knowing Petra as well as I had, I would have figured a lot of the distress that could have affected her lately. 

"It's not on the surface, but the way she acts...or she has acted recently...I can see a part of that pain seeping out from time to time."

As is the case. Petra was a great actress. A lot of the time, we'd go to sleep, kissing each other goodnight and praying to see each other in the morning. But there was always that hidden crack that few saw.

"I've seen this before...in myself."

I became curious as to what Karliah actually meant by that.

"What is it?" I queried.

We both looked at Petra, who was helping Vex this time in chugging the boot next. Who's boot was that, anyway?

"It's easier to read her when she outright voices her worries and concerns. The more obvious signs indicate she's comfortable with sharing her emotions with those she can trust. But...upon some closer inspection, whether or not she's doing the work or she's helping others or general conversation, she's outright cheerful." Karliah explained.

Gods know a cheerful Petra would be heartwarming sight. We'd catch each other smiling at the other when the opportunity presented itself.

"Petra in such a state...I've pretended to be okay and the opposite of pure sadness like she has. Whether she's actually glad to be here with the Guild could still be legitimate, but I'm just seeing the signs of worn out actress. If I were you Bryn, I'd want to be extremely careful around her."

Wasn't I normally?

"Don't...say anything to her about it...having been down that same road once before, my main concern is whether Petra's going to go further enough where she's going to make some unsavory decision. You'll know when it happens. You just need to stop it."

I still didn't understand where Karliah was trying to get me to. I examined her with a strange expression as she sipped her drink, as she frowned.

"Forgive me for being ignorant lass but-"

I was cut off Petra dragging me out of the blue and pulling me towards the circle, carrying the infamous boot in her hand. Her eyes were as wide as her mouth was at the moment, eager for me to be her next victim.

"CHUG CHUG CHUG!" chanted the rowdy crowd around me.

Petra slapped the boo in front of me, causing the boot to spill as I was still recovering from the shock of being pulled here all of a sudden. I tried to suss out what Karliah said, but the impatience of the crowd around me as well as the existing booze in my head told me to get it over and done with.

"Down the hatch!" I called out.

There was so much noise around me as I drunk the boot. It was some brew that I'd never even tasted before. I guessed that this was the stuff that Vekel mentioned he'd get for us.

* * *

 

Next thing we knew, Petra was telling stories to the boys and girls around her. Whether or not the stories were true were irrelevant, she certainly had them enraptured.

"Killing dragonsss is one thing..." She said, as stood in front of them. She then furrowed her brows.

"HEY I TOLD YOU TO SIT DOWN BEFORE I SHOUT YOU DOWN!"

I snickered as several of then jumped as she roared. Thrynn put a finger to his lips as he slapped the back of Vipir's head to shut him up. On prompt, they all sat down on call...with Niruin almost tripping over while doing so.

"But they really tip the...scales in our favor...am I right?"

Some of them laughed, some of them booed at her horrible pun. She took a swig of her zillionth mead and nearly spat at them. She then dragged Vex to her, much to the Imperials dismay and wrapped her arm around her.

"This....this bitch right here...haha...can't believe I met the one of the most bestest Thieves...you give her any shit, I will fling that shit....riiiight back at ya..."

Vex ended up doing a drunken giggle as Tonilia stood next to me as we leaned against the further wall, looking further into the slurry abyss before us. I think she was the only lass not drinking tonight.

"Your girl knows how to put on the charm." The Redguard commented.

"She's certainly gotten more comfortable with everyone since she first came to the Guild all those months back."

That she has. Although, as Petra kissed Vex on the cheek, the boys got a bit vocal. Vex on the other hand.

"Ahh Petra, you damnable Dragon Queen you....you're so embarrassing..." Vex said playfully. She was trying so hard to be her angry self, but failing....

Then Petra dragged Sapphire up as well. 

"Well Sapphy here..." Petra commented.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Sapphire protested.

Both Tonilia and I couldn't help but laugh.

"SaFIREEEEEE is another gal you can depend on....SHE'S SUCH A GEM!" Petra continued with her trend of bad puns that were, again met with laughs and boos.

"SO you mess with the GIRLS YOU'RE ALSO GOING TO GET A ME SHOUTING YOUR ASS OFF A CLIFF!" Petra roared.

It appeared she was doing that already to some. I don't even know where Karliah ran off to.

It was then Etienne stood up and crossed his arms, staring at Petra with a cunning expression. 

"I've seen you breath fire on trolls." He said.

"Show the rest of them the REAL Dragonborn."

My face instantly fell. I think the rest of them weren't expecting it. Although perhaps it was a question relating to her status that was bound to come up at some point. Tonilia shifted, feeling a sense of unease. Dirge and Vekel weren't too keen what sort of Dragonborn Etienne had been expecting.

Petra do not do what I think you-

"Okay." She said, taking on his dare.

I'd rather her take a Giants club, in all honesty.

She stole Etienne drink and sculled it down, much to the mans consternation and the laughs coming out of the others. She ushered her arms and swung them to caution them to get away. She took one deep breath. I bit my lip.

" ** _YOLRRRPPPP_** " She burped as well as shouted at the same time.

A flurry of flames escaped her mouth, causing everyone to jump back for the moment. It went quiet, before they all clapped and cheered a few seconds later.

"Good grief!" Tonilia commented, not really knowing what else to say.

I just shook my head in disbelief.

* * *

 

I didn't have time to think of Karliah's previous words, as moments later (or was it an hour, I couldn't tell) Petra nabbed me once more, then took me to the secret room we found the other day. Karliah let us have it for own privacy of course as we had ventured further into the hidden depths of the Hall. Petra pressed me again the wall and started to give me kisses of sloppy proportions but otherwise I was rather turned on by her performance as a helpless bystander. But right now I wasn't surprised in the slightest that she was just a bit eager. I just hoped she was going to play her end of the game as well. She stopped and smiled, feeling my beard.

"Stay right here. I have a surprise for you." She told me. She started giggling.

"Close your eyes."

I did so with stupid pride and awaited for her. Soon after I felt a hand continuing to drag me down the hall way. She made me stop and I was still for the moment, smelling the scent of snowberries in the room, scented candles maybe? I heard a bit of shuffling as I embraced the nice warmth of the room.

"Open!"

I slowly opened my eyes, seeing Petra laying on the bed in a beautiful silk gown that reached down above her knee with simple straps. She was like some sort of aedric Goddess or some other crappy made up creature. She had a see through cloak that sparkled and wrapped around her like a blanket. Her hair...her gorgeous hair of light brown was out of it's ponytail...and...had she been wearing make up? Her lips were redder than usual and her face just had more colour to it and it had looked fuller than it had ever been. Or maybe it was the mead taking over my imagination. No way she'd be able to do that in a few minutes. Or was it like ten minutes? I had no clue. I think I've definitely had one too many. Or twenty two many. Oh no...I'm turning into Petra. The horror! I joke of course,

Now, my eyes were a bit hazy, but the glow from the candles that dotted the walls were breathtaking and the red curtains that darted everywhere. And the bed was covered in crimson blankets and pillows. I really have to be dreaming this. Where in Oblivion did she get all this stuff. I was really too stunned for words. She slithered off the bed and wandered up to me and grinned.

"I'd been using the funds I never used from my previous heists. And selling things has been a breeze. Imported from Cyrodiil." She told me with a noticeable slur, pressing her lips against mine.

"Clever. Let me guess, you've planned this for a while?" I wondered, wrapped my arms around her.

She giggled and rubbed her noses with mine.

"I am what Vex called, what, Dragon Queen? It's only befitting of the queen to get the best for her king."

Oh lass, only your words make me aroused like that. So corny but I was too drunk to care about that.

"Aye and her king agrees. What's say you and I go king size?" I joked.

She laughed and jerked me towards the bed. We kissed passionately and struggled to take off each others clothes, well, mostly mine of course. Hers was easy as I took the gown off and started kissing every where very quickly. I just wanted all of Petra again. We gotten ourselves wet from our slobber and drunken pecks that were rather sloppy but we still held that burning desire within us still. I pushed her on the bed with force, as a Dragon King should share power with his Dragon Queen.

And our love making session was one of those of a greater passion of exquisite and unique tastes as we wanted to taste each other and our hunger great. We'd sat up as she sat on my lap, slowly rocking back and forth slowly ourselves down as we'd wanted this to last as long as it could.

It had developed into a beautiful scene like that of the slow burning candles around us, exchanging the small surges of pleasures that pulsed through our bodies. Our breaths were heavy and hot and our bodies tangled together in such a sweaty mess. Made more of love than of lust. Petra made little whines in between the larger and small kisses as we looked up and down each other, enjoying each other's views with perfect smiles.

"Gods, Bryn...uhh...have you seen Vex and Delvin?" She asked me in the worst of times as my hands went up and down her back and down to her backside.

"No...no I haven't. Though...before you dragged me in here...I did see shadows in...in...uh..the main chamber. Could be them..."

She giggled. I don't get her obsessive behavior sometimes.

"We'll see to it in the morning...for now..."

She upped the pace a little, making the surges stronger and her moans louder and hotter.

There was that sight into her eyes again as they became strong, piercing wells of blue fire. I detected the amount of power within them. But in that split second, I could see into them more clearer than ever. I wondered, if the feeling of her flames burned into mine, seeing everything within me. If she could see the inner me, the angry me...I wanted her to feel it, as we were of equal balance. I became lost in her, by that, she might be lost in me. In all honesty, I wouldn't want to be lost in anything else.

I'd hoped she felt the same way. I wanted her to feel safe and secure...but I fear her running away. She's done this many times before. My caution into marrying her would be built upon this concern. I would offer the world if I could but I don't think that's what she wants.

We'd came into a hot liquified mess and steam that we made for ourselves and sat there in the total embrace for a few minutes, before falling onto the pillows and pulled the blankets up and hugged each other until we fell asleep.

* * *

I was waiting for contact from Zoklot for the thousandth time and each time I would hope and each time I would find myself disappointed. I would have wanted him out of my body before but, I really needed to know where he was at.

Instead I'd dreamed about the clouds. I dreamed about a blinding light and that was about it. I'd been having a lot of those lately.

I'd woken up, with Petra staring down at me as I slept, giving me a warm feeling all over. We kissed each other good morning. She'd been eager to find what happened to every one else.

We got dressed quickly, stammering about before going into the open area first.

Vekel and Dirge were awake as they started to clean up the mess, as was Tonilia. Good on them for putting up with so much, throwing away bottles and so forth. We saw passed out bodies before us which was hilarious. Petra was busy counting who was there, on the floor, on beds, on tables. Dirge apparently found Rune on the bench and dragged his sorry hide to a bed. Vekel most likely told him too.

Petra noted that were, in fact several people missing. Tonilia pointed out in the corner was Sapphire and Vipir, according to her were going to punch each other. Before proceeding with a serious make out session with them ended up passing out cold where they were in each others arms. She had to give them a blanket to make sure they were warm. I really hope Vipir fixes his attitude though.

We then saw our beloved Guildmaster on a bed, with Malborn surprisingly. Vekel stated that he'd been crying and she'd been comforting him until they both fell asleep. Why does that sound so familiar?

Petra was more interested with what happened with Delvin and Vex.

"I don't know and I don't wanna know." Tonilia stated.

"But I'd check with the main chamber. Thyrnn said he saw Vex heading down there at one stage."

She nodded and took my hand to run down the hallway. I swear she was extremely giddy. I rolled my eyes as I was forced to join her.

We'd gotten there and went past through all of Karliah's things and peeked past the shelves, seeing two bodies on the middle circle. Petra could not contain her excitement as Delvin and Vex laid there, still fully clothed mind you, but otherwise, Delvin was spooning her. Petra rubbed her hands, forcing herself not to squeal in delight.

"You see, we all take care of each other in the end." Petra whispered to me.

Aye, that was true from what I've seen.

Thankfully, we may have just got ourselves closer in ways we never suspected.


	79. Being

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Realm-Walker continues her research into this mysterious White Dragon, when she meets two unlikely people that have come aboard.

 

There's Petra the Dragon, Petra the Thief and Petra the Lover. All coming underneath the visages of what makes the Dragonborn herself.

The Dragon is the most vicious and violent, bringing her brutality to the table and smashing that table right up into millions of pieces.  
The Thief is smart and calculating, articulate in the way she moves and the way she plots and plans in order to get her goal with swift competence.  
The Lover is emotional and precious, the way her heart bleeds for those she cares about and the way events unfold have their impact on her mental state.

I've been doing an analysis on the information I have gathered so far. It's obvious Petra is unique amongst the populace however her situation is like none other I had ever seen. But I'm sensing a change in her slowly. Not physically...more...metaphysically...spiritually. I detect a certain darkness in her heart. I know of this darkness. I just hope Brynjolf keeps an eye on her. It's something...overpowering. It's painful and she says nothing of it. I commend her bravery but I don't know how long she'll last. She needs to hold on for a while longer. I honestly worry, because it has be the outsider sources that are causing it and I'm frustrated that I cannot do anything about it. I'll hopefully speak to her soon. Not as a Realm-Walker but...perhaps to share common ground.

Time itself is breaking upon us and I've used most of my resources patching up and putting back things where they belong. It grows dire and I'm still trying to find ways to stop it. We're researching this White Dragon and nothing has come up so far. With my Elven friend and my mute associate it's becoming harder to define what had started it and how we were going to finish it.

Last week we'd had a visit from someone from the Oblivion Crisis searching for something. We transplanted them back, but then after that, the numbers of random people from random timelines just keeps popping up everywhere and we're doing what we can to ensure they return home safely. Lest their own timelines be destroyed without their presence.

I've learned and was definitely taught specifically not to interfere too much. Killing was out of my league. I wasn't allowed to. I can only direct others to do such things. It's the rules and boundaries taught to me, and I relay that back to my servants.

Confusing I know. But it's hard work being the Realm-Walker. But it's not like I can go straight back to the life I had before. I've been where Petra has been, down that road where you're not sure what you're supposed to be doing. I've fallen into deep hatred of the world around me for the way it had betrayed me many times and that I accused it of playing tricks on my mind.

I've developed a lot since then. I've been told many times by Wheatley that I don't take this seriously enough, that I just treat every world we visit like it's just some sandbox to play in. I always clean up when I'm done however.

I've been to dark worlds. Light worlds, strange and wonderful worlds. I could name them all but then we'd be here for an eternity.

My own story has long since passed. It isn't my place to change for the better. But to mold those who would then be made the wiser for the advice I would give them. But I fear, like I had mentioned once before, made it a lot worse than I hadn't intended. I just wanted to see what influence it had, and now it's breaking everything in sight.

Do I feel guilt? In all honesty, I'm not sure what I even feel anymore. Define feeling. A melting pot mixture of inner turmoil, happiness and sadness, anger and frustration. The ingredients to a life of a sentient being, be able to think for ourselves and live the lives we want to and not succumbing to our urges like beasts. You're allowed to indulge but we're in control and we decide when we've gone too far.

I'd lost my humanity long ago. I've stood alone in the dark wondering what I had become, staring up at the shades of my life I'd thrown away. Because it was necessary for me. And it was because of my own stupid mistakes.

The Elf and the Mute, my two trustworthy companions have been with me for a long time. We gathered other able bodied warriors and mages to maintain the infrastructure of our group and I have ensured they are tested before becoming a Crusader.

Our goal is to find the ultimate truths. What is certain and what is a lie. To discover the means of our existence and the fulfilling study of the Seed Theory.

Doesn't it sound so magical? The Theory was put in place by an associate of mine, on how you start of at the beginning as a small seed and when you start to make choices, time develops branches of those choices and new worlds are created because of that. So there are definitely a near infinite worlds, some closer than the last.

Throughout everywhere I have had to visit, why have we not heard of this...Sotrahkun in all of the worlds we've visited so far? The words kept popping up everywhere and I was getting no where.

I stood in my study, staring at the reports given to me. Some seen in Elsweyr, others in the Summerset Isles and Morrowind in the past, present and future. I am adamant to discover this, as it was the most elusive mystery that I had come across.

* * *

I heard a knock at the door, looking up, I could see the thin face of my elven associate.

"Come in." I said.

He nodded with his hands behind his back. He'd been a loyal friend of mine for while and he tries so hard to impress. Bless his heart.

"Uh yeah. So, we'd picked up another two wanderers across that had been found in, you won't believe, somewhere in Akavir in uh, one world." He announced.

What? Why on Nirn were they there?

"We're not normally interested in those places, But you definitely detected abnormal auras there and not closer to Skyrim?" I asked him, trying to figure out why that was.

He nodded and couldn't help but fumble with his hands. He was always nervous around me, although he had no real reason to be.

"Yes, yes. Definitely, and I think you actually would want to speak with them. I sense they're more than just some random strangers. Well, Chell does anyway." He told me.

I crossed my arms. Not random strangers. People I would know...hm..

"Maybe one you know and the other you've heard about. Been mentioned a few times." He continued.

I was really curious. Matters had gotten more interesting as of late.

"Quit being ambiguous and send them in here." I ordered.

Sotrahkun. I see the name burning behind my eye lids. The words that are written around us. What connection does this dragon have with the others? The name escapes me yet, it knows who and what I am.

They say it is good, but is it really? A creature of light that no one has heard of. I wouldn't mind meeting it and ask what has it been doing these past few thousand years?

I observed the ancestor moths that I have taken care of, as they flew around a tree I grown in the corner of the room. Their whispers in constant chatter with the spirits lost in Aetherius. Tell me little moths...where does this all fit in?

A woman like me sees a lot, hears a lot. You become numb because you know yourself what's going to happen. But this...this had become more common and yet, we hardly know much about it all even with rigirous research. Still, that session with Petra placed out of time. It was random, but, was it planned?

This particular White Dragon I don't think Petra has met. The reports of dragons flying scared while humorous, I think its's something to be concerned about it. They're extremely prideful creatures who never back down from the fight. It must be a dragon of greater power, perhaps even more so than Alduin.

But the interesting thing is that Alduin exists in each separate timeline as par the protocol of the Branches of the original seed. Sotrahkun's name is popping up in random places in a lot of the time line's I've been to.

"For the darkness has passed, and the legend yet grows." I murmured.

Alduin had existed and was taken care of...but whether...no wait, he's still alive here somewhat. Scrap that.

Is this question only Akatosh himself can answer?

I doubt a God would talk to little old me. I'd take a guess the only way to pray would to shout to him. Or there was a shout that no one knew of, that could someone summon him to you. I'm just making that up. But I wouldn't be surprised if one time line had that sort of thing. The Dragon God wouldn't allow it now would he?

"Uh love?" Wheatley said as he interrupted my thoughts/

I turned to face Wheats.

"Yes?" I replied.

He cleared his throat.

"Here are...well, here's the first one, who was prudent that she introduce herself first." He announced.

I looked at the one before me, clad in black robes with silver crescent décor on the sleeves and silver rims. It was...definitely from Elsweyr and I saw the black and white tail. She was clad in jewellery and a hood on her head and beautiful silver circlet with sapphires.

She took off her hood, revealing her white hair was plaited and hanging down her shoulder. Reached her waist actually. And the Khajiit was rather tall and her eyes screamed who she was. I smiled. She definitely looked more filled out and...older.

"Well, I wouldn't have expected to see you here cat." I told her. I was actually impressed.

She grinned. She had somehow still retained the innocence of her youth.

"It is good to see you again Realm-Walker. For you, it must be only days since you have seen her. For Ayisha, it's been years." She stated.

Thought as much. Fascinating.

"I see that. And...who's the friend hiding outside my door?" I queried.

Wheats indicated they could come in. In came a man in armour I haven't seen a long time. Gold even, but looked like they were of an obscure Dwemer origin. A dark elf, with a surprisingly almost youthful complexion, save for the red circles underneath his beady red eyes, with his beard and long black hair. His aura was uncertain, but he held considerable power within him.

"Ayisha told me about you. And your current problem." He stated, his accent fresh.

I nodded. I sensed his strength from afar.

"Uh yes... well, I know about Ayisha. I don't know about you though. But perhaps, I do?" I said.

He crossed his arms.

"You know of me, you may have read about me if they bothered to write it in any documents. I've made as many sacrifices as any other hero within the last few hundred years." He boldly claimed.

There were many heroes throughout the ages as far as I was aware. I looked down, trying to think. He definitely, had that spirit about him, that was certain.

"Tell me of your heroic deeds so I might recall my history lessons then." I suggested.

Heroes are of few and far in between these days.

'Let's just say I've done some pretty amazing things a hero could do back in the third era, back in Morrowind." He said, nailing down my final suspicions.

I was genuinely surprised. A spirit I should have much in common with.

"Ahh should have known. The Nerevarine. Such an honour to have you join us. Some say you'd left for Akavir. Please, sit sit...uh, Wheats, get us some chairs will you?"

We'd sat down in my office and discussed the unfolding revelations of the lives before me. Ayisha from a future unknown, and the Nerevarine himself cast back into the game unknowingly. Perhaps one mystery solved at a time would be sufficient. I laid back and put my legs on the table, eager to listen to their stories.

Ayisha first explained to me she comes from a possible future, where Alduin had succeeded in his campaign, leaving everyone else, including Petra, left for dead. Ayisha had stepped up as her position as Mane and dedicated herself to raising an army to fight off the dragons in her mothers absence. While futile, she had tried to find new ways to combat them but had always met with dead ends.

She'd gone to Akavir to search for answers when she discovered the dragons origins from our neighbouring continent. When she did, she found Sotrahkuns name calling out to her and suddenly she had landed in the past, or at least. Petra's present while the young version had vanished. Truely, Ayisha had been sent back to Elsweyr for her own protection, and I kept in contact with one of the Clan Mothers to make sure she was alright. After that time displacement, things just got stranger...

She'd met up with the Nerevarine in her travels as he was busy researching dragon lore and ancient akaviri artefacts, when they were whisked yet again by time breaking apart.

"Sounds like quite the tale." I commented.

Ayisha nodded.

"Our time runs short Realm-Walker. Mama needs our help." The Khajiit warned.

I had to agree. Though she still refers to Petra as Mama...heh...she make the impact didn't she?

"Any info you dig up at Akavir?" I asked them.

The Nerevarine bowed his head.

"Certainly. Ayisha explained the prospect of the White Dragon called Sotrahkun. A total mystery but for some reason I remember a few times the name popped up back when I was in Morrowind. The odd part was I don't know how I recall that. It's like it's writing messages across time itself and yet." He explained.

I rose an eyebrow. It seemed like they were in the same situation we were.

'Annnnd?" I ushered.

He rubbed his neck.

"The ruins themselves didn't originally suggest anything of the sort. I'd gone there on a hunch for some research but as the words had told me to go there to find something specific. I'd originally believed Ayisha for one of the Ka' Po Tun, but I was mistaken as her accent was that of a Khajiit. We had chatted about what we were doing and decided to help one another. " The Nerevarine stated.

How...fascinating. Get on with it.

"I had found some dragon scripture, written in their langauge. I actually didn't know it, but Ayisha knew it off by heart and helped with the translation on a Word Wall we had found there."

I nodded. I know from memory that the Akaviri had to come to Tamriel in regards to the prophecies that guided the Dragonborn.

"Yes, the word walls that have helped Dragonborn in the past learn shouts. They were developed by the Akaviri for that purpose." I explained to them.

"Indeed." The Nerevarine stated. "I've found some on Solstheim at one stage, which prompted me to believe that they were done by the same people. But this word wall didn't have the strange energies that crept from the word wall's I'd seen."

I tilted my head, interested in bizarre word walls. Anything out of the norm definitely had my attention.

"Yes?" I said, prompting him to go on.

He crossed his arms.

"The walls had come alive when we had approached them. Ayisha translated the text...Ayisha?"

I looked at the overgrown Khajiit.

" _Zu'u los monah do savend. kun tol praan kosil hil. Kiin do vahrukt do kiindah. Voth Uft gerik yahv vul. "_

I wasn't entirely well versed in dragon, I knew a bit to keep me by but I wasn't entirely in converse with it.

"It roughly translates to:

**_I am the mother of salvation._ **

**_The light that rests within the heart._ **

**_Born of memory of creation._ **

**_With Feathers spread across the dark._**  "

I was wary. The mention of feathers sparked inside of me. Salvation? Hm...

"Nothing else? Hmmm... A piece of poetry doesn't say too much. However the feathers nonsense is what grabs me. Have any idea what that means?" I asked.

Both of them shook their heads. I feared as much.

"No clue I'm afraid. But Ayisha told me about her ma Petra, who happens to be Dragonborn and shes in danger." The Dunmer reiterated.

I sat up, then stood up. It's so nice when Dragonborn are in focus aren't they?

"She's always in danger that one. I have told her to follow the path given to her and to stick close it as much as she can. Time itself splinters and according to parchments we've seen it wants her." I explained to them both. I would like to believe the Nerevarine of all people to understand that.

Ayisha tapped her leg.

"It has to do with mama being Dragonborn. It just has to." She stated.

I could understand where she was coming from. The Last Dragonborn and Sotrahkun, the White Dragon. The bad vibes were returning. I was wondering whether or not it was a sign for anything...for her death maybe? I'm not sure on that.

"What is she doing now?" The Nerevarine asked.

"She's about to search for an Elder Scroll that's been spotted with a Cult of Slaughter member known as Prolg, seemingly going to use it to find out a shout. That's what I've been hearing anyway. Although I know that might not necessarily be the Scroll she's supposed to find." I answered. The true course of action would be going to Blackreach...but...

Ayisha smiled.

"Sounds like mama would do that. Ayisha would urge her with caution...but, what are you going to do with Ayisha now?" She said. For someone who's supposedly a Mane, she doesn't hold herself like one. But I had thought about that. If she's from a possible future, I needed information on upcoming events that she knew of.

"You can stay for now. Unless you have things to do yourself." I asked.

"No...I am the Mane. I am a leader, however I do have communication with my Clan Mothers through the Laaglein if they ever need me." She stated. Well, if it's easier...

"I might stick around too. Elder Scrolls often mean bad news. And I'm all ears to finding out what this Sotrahkun wants to do. Though I have a feeling the world you're looking at will be destroyed before we find anything liable. I've been through some tight shifts, but we'll find a way." He declared.

And just like that I knew he had a spirit of a warlord in him

"Good to have you on board. I think I may need to give of you ground assignments. Help Petra find the Elder Scroll. Two things, don't die, which is the most important one and don't get caught. And be safe." I urged.

"That's three things Realm-Walker." Ayisha corrected.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah what ever. Just find the details with Wheats and we can get you both started."

I wasn't wrong how this was the most engrossing time I've been in. Even more so than the last. I'm eager to find this out, since it was new and exciting and I had looked more forward to life's greater mysteries. Or those mysteries would cease to be not because I had figured it out, but I fear time may end before that.

Thankfully I had faith in Petra.


	80. Displacement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Brynjolf go to Solitude to hunt down Prolg, but get more than what they've bargained for, as a vision for Petra dictates a very difficult decision for her to make.

 

This world is filled with monsters and those weak enough to fall to their power and their tricks. How I am still alive now has gotta be Nocturnal's doing for sure.

My dream was filled with lights again, flashes of odd trees here and there. A tree of blue. For what ever reason. Too confusing. Odd and I sometimes find myself in not a black void but a white one. Puzzling huh? I watch feathers fall around me and wonder where I am, listening to the whispers that echo around me, calling my name. I walk around and find nothing until I open my eyes.

But...the night had gone smoothly as I had dedicated it for our hard work and it may be the last time we'd ever do something like that again

Brynjolf had allowed me my little game and it had paid off. Sure we were drunk, but I'd like to think we all had a good time one way or another. Especially when I had planned to surprise Brynjolf with the nifty premise of warmth and a gentle night of lovemaking to our satisfaction and it was great. When we found Vex and Delvin spooning in the main chamber I was just not able to suppress my glee seeing them lying there, possibly unaware of what had unfolded. I wanted to ask, but, I guess that's just going to be a bit pushy and obvious as to what was my goal was.

Seeing Karliah and Malborn was a bit of a surprise to. Although he's had many issues, and perhaps I am partial to blame, having them to possibly, though I doubt Karliah would have pursued it, I think Malborn just gets sad when he drinks. Hearing his story was depressing and he may have needed welcome arms to pour out all his sorrows. Karliah's open like that. She could afford to be, now that she has the trust of the entire guild underneath her. She maintained our rabble better than anyone had hoped and built it once more.

Bryn and I helped clean up alongside Vekel and Tonilia with the dozens of bottles lying around the hall. Karliah had gotten herself up eventually and aided us as well. She didn't speak about Malborn, just commenting on how nice a night it was before heading back to work.

Unfortunately neither Bryn or I had much time to lose, as Dirge had come back inside and handed the pair of us a note. It mentioned that Prolg had been seen in Solitude recently, possibly to rendezvous with the Thalmor planted there. When asked about the person who found this out, he said that it was from a friend.

We'd spoken with Karliah, told her that we had to move quickly. She wished us luck and for Nocturnal to guide us through the shadows as we had gotten ourselves ready. We wish we could have seen the outcome when Delvin and Vex would actually awaken, but alas, time was short.

After that stage we rode our horses quickly to Solitude. I had the message burned in my mind. Not it's content but it's meaning. I had dark feelings about it, unsure what was going to unfold before us. Bryn was okay. We had each other's backs. But heading back into the field of strange power was something I'd almost gotten used to by now and the colossal force that opposed us, didn't even match the might of the many dragons that I had faced.

* * *

It was sunset when we arrived in Solitude, the shadows themselves allowing us to hide ourselves to investigate and finally claim the Elder Scroll needed to discover a way to defeat Alduin.

Leaving the horses at the stables, we went inside and stuck ourselves to the darkness. It may have been Erikur who had left us a message, so we agreed to visit him first to find out what the Thalmor were doing.

Going to his huge house closer to the Blue Palace, it made me think if I should have taken up the position of Thane like Balgruuf had supposedly offered me. Cowardice shouldn't be rewarded but it would have been nice to have a Jarl in the pocket. Erikur lead us inside after looking out, up and down the road as if suspecting someone was watching him.

He sat us down in his luxurious mansion and had his sister serve us some drinks. I think he's a jerk but he's on our side so that's something. We mentioned the topic of the letter he'd sent us, however he was a bit confused by it all.

"No, I don't remember sending any letters. But I have seen the elves come back and forth from the Blue Palace."

I tilted my head. Hmmm some other ally I presume.

"So they're planning something. Definitely." I stated.

Erikur crossed his arms.

"One of the Thalmor leaders talks with Falk often. Falk doesn't like him though and rejects suggestions of the infrastructure on the town. Any talks get butted down. If it was up to me I would have booted their insufferable kind back to Oblivion. They've done nothing but rob the Empire from day one. No offence." He said.

That Steward has no fear it seems.

"None taken." I replied.

Bryn rubbed his chin.

"Any idea they why want to change the infrastructure?" He asked.

Erikur was one of those solely interested in money no matter where it came from. Annoying and obnoxious at first but being 'friends' with an prominent and influential Thane that much easier.

"At first I thought it was a stupid abuse of power. Solitude could do with a change without an elves influence. This is a damned Nord city. I mean, if they paid handsomely it'd be fine, but they're offering little. But then I heard it was to do with one of the old underground structures with the temple of the divines. I think, what I actually know is that the Thalmor are holed up in there right now. Probably rebuilding it or something."

* * *

Brynjolf and I thanked Erikur and left his place immediately and the haste of knowing they were nearby and was just couldn't stay there forever. We rushed to the temple and wondered what they were actually doing. We prepared ourselves and summoned out Nightingale Armour, prepare for a possibly tough sight.

I opened the doors, seeing an odd sight, but something dark as well riled up within. I wasn't feeling any good about this place, not like it had used to. One side of the temple was filled with men in ancient nord armour and the other side with Thalmor. The whole place was lit up with candles and...I could see Sotrahkun's name written absolutely everywhere. But written in blood and was glowing, strangely enough.

There was a chant of an indecipherable nature running through the room. A magic unknown that sifted throughout the air was disturbing, yet the whole room was glimmering. I wanted to leave, fearing what was going to happen next.

We should have made noise when we opened the door, but no one had acknowledged our presence. Blessings from Nocturnal, I'd wager. We ushered ourselves up the stairs to get a better view of what they were doing down there.

At the front of the temple, we saw Prolg and one of the Thalmor, not Elenwen but another elf and from the discussion we eared on, his name was Ancano. I could have sworn to have heard that name back at the College of Winterhold. What was he doing here?

"Can you make out what they're saying?" I asked Bryn.

He shook his head.

"No, I can't. Must be speaking in another language...or the priest isn't offering his two septims to me anymore." He whispered back.

Damn, I just wanted to know what they were talking about.

We watched Prolg raise his hands and stop the chanting to a halt. That smug look on his face continued to piss me off, strutting around in that Ebony Dragonplate Armour of his. Had to have been custom made, adorning the cloak with a dragon symbol on it.

"Friends, and loyal allies, I am pleased to say that we've been getting the messages from our beloved. Alduin. As we all know quite well is that he was our ancient Dragon God, like Akatosh, sent as flesh to lead us to glory. But there are those who wish to stop us. Alduin can remake this world and will destroy the pain that life has given us. And we will be rewarded by being reborn into this new, perfect world." He boasted, addressing his audience with sickening charisma. His voice boomed and echoed throughout the temple with power and absolute instruction. I felt the waves around me, an energy unknown.

"The Thieves Guild and by association, the ones called Brynjolf and Petra, are roaming around Skyrim somewhere with their tails between their knees. I adhere to you, however we must leave Petra alive at all costs. She is needed in the ritual to start righting the wrongs on how, as you put it, were betrayed by the Trickster God. We need Petra for she, and those who have come before her, are the key elements in bringing forth an ultimate power that, well, is only starting to come back,"

Me alive huh? No wonder. So yet again I am a tool to be used for their schemes. I highly doubt that will ever have claim. He grabbed the Elder Scroll attached to his back and rose it before the group.

"So we have the Divine Elder Scroll. The same scroll that gifted us with the ways to live and the structure of the White Dragon, Sotrahkun."

So Sotrahkun and the Divine Elder Scroll were linked. Hm...

"And the most interesting part is...bring her in!"

Bryn and I watched as several soldiers brought in a cloaked woman that we recognized.

"Ma..." Brynjolf muttered, his eyes widened in disbelief. She had her hands behind her back and her head down. Prolg gave the scroll to Ancano and paced around the woman.

"This is Nemetona. Archivist for Nocturnal, Hoarder of Secrets, Mother of Brynjolf, Descendant of the abomination Talos and traitor Zoklotinhaar. A pool of power resides within your son, set as an example of the folly brought here by Lorkhan. Your reputation beseeches you and you had fallen into our trap my dear..."

Bryn was absolutely fuming. I on the meanwhile didn't feel well. The dreams came back to me, the whispers of my name in the distance. I felt weary, my sight hazy and my mind bent.

"Petra what's wrong lass?" He asked me, suddenly facing me.

I shook my head and forced myself out of the trance. What is going on now?

"I sincerely hope there is a place in Oblivion waiting to tear you skin apart Prolg." Neme berated.

Prolg laughed. He acted like he was nobility, like those who down the finest wine and ravish themselves stupid.

"My love, when this is all over there won't be an Oblivion to exist. Your knowledge has been valuable to us." He said, his tone soft yet harsh.

She grumbled.

"Because you forced it out of me. You better be careful...you'll be struck down before you know it." She warned. The amount of anger in her eyes. I wonder if that's what Bryn looks like when he's really angry.

Prolg grabbed the Elder Scroll and unrolled it in front of Neme.

"You've always been all talk and no action, willingly lying there for all to see. Let's have a look shall we."

* * *

The Cult and the Thalmor group started their chants again. My eyes burned, seeing shadowy figures all around me. Spirits that appeared of no where. But they weren't...dead. They became a crowd of thick darkness that held no faces as everything seemed lighter. They walked passed and walked through each other. I heard humming, a woman in white, pure white robes with no sleeves was striding towards me. When I say white, like a creature slathered in the purest silvers from clothes to skin to face to hair.

" _Dreh ni dir Dovahkiin. dreh ni dir Dovahkiin._ "

She was...singing to me, her voice that has haunted me for some time now, a unique power that called out to me specifically. About what? I still find it weird how I am able to learn shouts automatically yet I don't understand the language itself.

I hadn't noticed that she was extremely tall when she came closer. The shadowy figures just walked passed like it was nobodies business. Ghosts of the echoes, like those in the Soul Cairn.

" _Dovah Kiir do Tiid. Hin hil mirodah wah zey. Aav hin worah voth dii ahrk mu fen siiv krongrah unslaar. "_

I grinded my teeth. Where was Zoklot or Ayisha when you need them. I wish I had a damned translator. She was so over imposing though. The spirits seemed to double in numbers that I felt overwhelmed and rather anxious. Why were there so many?

" _Mu fen kren tiid wah orwahl tiid. Kuz faal Kel wah faal Movahven._ "

Images of the throat of the world flashed passed my eyes in such swift and quick intervals. She was...showing me where I would have gone anyway. Still, don't need to see so many souls to get that point across. If that was it then I fail to see the connection.

"Your heart sees these as the unknown souls of ages lost. Those who have failed. Those who have died due to their mistakes. Many mistakes are made throughout. _Kiindah nol vokun do nil ahrk kliin nau yen do reyth do poguk._ "

Woah...my mind nearly split in two with images of gruesome deaths of all kinds. Just...death by combat, by drowning, by dragon...what was this? Gah, get out of my head!

I fell to my knees again. Petra this is weak! Come on, you were doing so well too!

"Stop!" Endless flashes of blood, fire...the screams. Gods...GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.

"Time is weakening Petra...it is dying. You were born to die."

No...no I wasn't.

"Shut up! I am Dragonborn! I write my own fate"! I declared angrily. My brain was nearly going to explode from the massive amount of intake of all this sudden random visions. Get out!

"Fateless. Yes. The Dovahkiin that often succeeds is fateless. Just given what tiid was given to them. That is an illusion and nothing more. It is often made up from the Seed up to branches of the tree. To win, you must know the sacrifice. What ever the situation, one must win and one must lose. You should have died by the hands of Prolg. However the Suleyksejun Paagoliik saved your life, bending tiid itself and making it snap."

Why does this crap keep happening to me? For goodness sake just let me live my life! I'm on my hands and knees here...begging to let me just be normal for once? I'm sick of this stupid game and the way it forces its hands. I want to be free of this burden...just...leave me alone.

"I intend to keep on living...ugh...I have a life beyond here you know." I declared.

I felt a blasting glare from her, obviously unhappy and uncaring of my situation. Typical unknown spirits think they're high and mighty. I will keep going even someone tells me that I can't. It hurt...it hurt badly. I got up, then I ended up being pushed around the place by the sprits themselves, suddenly caught up in the crowds.

"You are like all the others. Trying to distort their fate. The others had a living too yet they were meant to die, so the right choice could live. That is how the structure of time works. I am forced to intefere because you are breaking it continuously by simply existing."

For goodness sake get out of my way! I was suffocating here!

" _ **Fus...Ro Dah**_!" I shouted, clearing the way to the Lady in White as the spirits were sent flying away from me. I stomped towards her, furious. How dare she?

"I am Petra. I see you're a woman who swears by choice. Well then, what choices do I have at this stage and where will they lead me?' I asked, demanding to know.

She made a slow nod.

"An astute question. Your choice is to die as fate commands it and it will heal itself. Or in order to change time you must jump into the timestream itself and figure out how to mend it yourself, which is a very tedious task to mortals, who cannot see beyond the futures dedicated to them and the many others created through the variety of choices. Be wary, this leads to higher amounts of uncertainty and you may destroy other timelines yourself. The chances of survival are low, and keeping what ever sanity you have, the chances are lower. Making no decision results in the annihilation of all timelines, resorting Mundus back into a nothing in the void. Those are the only choices that stand before you." She explained.

I groaned. Certainty would normally be the case to choose but...verses the possibilities that I had. Uncertainty was appealing, as it it was the only option where I could survive. Killing myself just leads to the easy way out.

"Before we go any further, can I ask who you are to decide these things?" I asked.

She lifted her head. I saw her face, crafted in ways...like I was almost looking into a mirror.

"Mother of the Prince of Mundus, devourer of worlds. Ebonyscales...a creation in rebellion of the way life was supposed to be. You may call him, Alduin." She worded.

Mother? Wait? Mother of Alduin?

"You've got to be kidding me? I-"

* * *

"No..." I heard Bryn mutter.

Suddenly I found myself back to the Temple of the Divines. I stared blankly at the sight before me as Prolg put away the Elder Scroll. Nemetona was left on her knees, her body slowing burning into ashes and fading away. My eyes widened. I looked at Bryn, who appeared absolutely devastated.

"Bryn..." I whispered.

My head hurt badly, but...I didn't care. I needed that Elder Scroll. I have to set things straight! My body was inflamed with the most cold yet heated passionate hate for this man. I had to do something!

I jumped off the balcony and in front of Prolg as he had finished boasting his accomplishments to the group. Ancano and a few others were about to attack but.

"Ahh Petra! I thought I smelled the stench of Dragonflesh in here." He joked, fueling the hatred in my heart.

"Which would mean Bryn wouldn't be to-"

I took out Dragonbane and before he knew it, I had it hinged on his throat. My Dragonself took over me, but I had control of it.

"Give...me...the Elder Scroll." I whispered harshly.

"Oh you're still feisty, that's a given. Zoklotihaar...get yourself out here."

What?

I heard a few shuffling noises and grunts from up there, then a might roar. No! Not this again!

I saw the tendrils of shadows and black feathers that shot up and shot themselves back down in front of Prolg. Ah crap...

"You are at fault here Prolg." Zoklot told him.

"Give us the Elder Scr-"

I opened my eyes at the sudden change again. The whole room was covered in bodies and in blood. And it was deathly cold. The whole temple was in disarray with everything either destroyed or smashed up somewhat, as I stood in the darkness the surrounded me.

I looked around. Trying to figure out what in Oblivion just happened. I approached a podium in the middle, seeing a message written in blood.

"Thank you."

I stood back and kept walking around, the wind whistling through.

"Brynjolf!" I called out. Hearing nothing but my own voice in the wind that ciphered through the roof.

Where am I? Am I still in the Temple or-

* * *

"Petra?"

I standing in the same position I was in before, however Prolg now had his hold over me and over Brynjolf via his soldiers and tied up. The room was brightly lit again as I realised

I'm...a bit scared actually. I don't know whether these were part of this displacement like the Realm-Walker said or worse.

"Let her go!" Bryn called out. He was back? What happened to...

I'm going mad.

"Now watch Petra, watch how he dies by your blade. You're doing the world a favour!" He called out, laughing.

"Brynjolf!" I cried. No...no...

I watched as Ancano had Dragonbane and pushed it forward, preparing to cut his throat.

No...that wasn't going to happen. I tried to break free but Prolg had me and licked my chin. Gross.

"Soon you're going to contribute the greatest thing. A second chance for all of us to live the good life. And you're going to part of it. You should feel honoured." Prolg assumed.

Did he honestly believe he was doing the world a favour?

"Suck it Prolg I'll mfmfmmm"

He chuckled as he forced as a gag in my mouth to prevent me from shouting. Bastard.

"Lord Alduin will be very pleased with this concept. Surely your calling is near. You'd be a fool to ignore it." Prolg said proudly.

The amount of spite in my eyes would never be enough to deal with the piece of crap before us. I started shaking as I boiled up inside wanting to strike so badly. My heart was beating faster as he was about to cut Bryn's neck.

It was then two dark figures came out of nowhere and took the sword out of Prolg's hands. I slid underneath for them to cut down Ancano, who had entrapped Brynjolf. He rose his arms, because he wanted me to live. They showed no mercy as they cut down the group by a certain extent, then Prolg and the elf ran off as fast at they could. Before we could do anything.. The two strangers were wrapped in black cloaks. One Dunmer and one Khajiit...

The Khajiit picked the Elder Scroll off the floor. Why does this one look so...familiar? Is it the eyes? Or was this another time displacement?

Everyone else had left, while the pair before me introduced themselves. The cat had a facial structure and fur that gave her away. She used to wear jewellery...no...this can't be. I looked at the girl, thinking she'd still be young.

"So this is your mama? Huh." Said the Dunmer.

I blinked as I stared at her.

"Wow, Ayisha...you've uh...grown." I commented awkwardly.

The Khajiit smiled and hugged me.

"Mama!" I'm glad you're okay." She told me, her voice already much more uplifting.

I nodded. Even Bryn looked legitimately at her. Yup, his whispers supported the fact. So what was Ayisha doing here in the past? Is she gonna go back at one stage? Who knows? I'll have reintroductions irregardless. She just was so grown up! I was really impressed. Had to be time displacement, surely. She hugged him as well, just as being in her life like she was in mine.

"Ayisha didn't go far mama, but Realm-Walker sent help. Ayisha and the Nerevarine are here." She exclaimed cheerfully.

The dunmer grumbled.

"Yes you had to tell them now. Don't ask too many questions about it okay?" He told me.

He was wearing an odd variant of dwemer contraptions but nothing else was happening elsewhere. But...the Nerevarine? Here?

We do have an Elder Scroll with us now, so that's one step forward. But at behest of one already lost, and Brynjolf needed me more than ever. 

* * *

 

My soul burns hotter and it's as if the crackling of the flames were akin to whispering strange words into my ear. My heart sank as I hugged Brynjolf. I had to ignore the distractions but it was nearly impossible.

It was my fault. I still existed. Theories abound seem to becoming facts on a day to day basis. Why can't I control this? It's not normal to lose moments like that. But this woman, her voice was mine. Part of me wants to feel that she's right. I could have saved Nemetona but my sheer existence got her killed. Why is this getting worse? It isn't my fault. It's not.

It is but it isn't. Brynjolf needs me. He needs me here. Why do you pull me away from that? Because he's a mortal? Because he's a Septim?

Why do my prayers go unanswered?

No voice but my own to argue with.

I want to take him back to Nightingale Hall, or somewhere quiet for the both of us to remain until the end of days. I want to just hold him until he feels better. But now it appears I'm the source. 

She speaks about going into the Time Stream...I could..do that? I could solve the problem there. But then I risk making further problems.

But if I die, everything will be okay again.

Reality hinges on whether or not I'm supposed to exist.

What am I meant to do? Either option. Either's complicated. 

UGHHH never have I been so frustrated...

No thanks to my indecisiveness.


	81. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the situation gets worse, Brynjolf ends up baring witness to something he'd never expected to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The following chapter may disturb some readers due to a sensitive topic.

 

No one knows what just happened. I don't understand. We thought we had it under control.

We were wrong.

I lost...Neme...I lost my mother to that...scroll. The Elder Scroll that Petra held in her hands. And I fear that I might lose her too.

Her eyes stare at it, ignoring the chatter from the Nerevarine, a venerated figure of ancient times, alongside Ayisha, albeit somehow traveled here from the future, described as horrid and a giant mess.

We got out of the Temple of the Divines, strangely empty and the sense of everything that went back to normal. My memory is garbled and torn, going mad for trying to get some sort of explanation for it.

I ...was wrong. Saddened beyond belief. Petra put the Elder Scroll away, attaching it to her back and held my hand, sensing the sorrow in my heart. She looked at me with those eyes, those eyes that had a shine that wasn't there before. Whether they were from tears from sympathy or something else...I...the lass was trying to make me feel better. I think I'd be worse if she wasn't here with me.

Once we'd gotten out, it was day time. Skies a clear blue with dotted clouds and the sun shining warmly. But the atmosphere just was...different. Abstract. It had changed, shifted itself underneath a silent transformation. Petra could feel it too. But I couldn't help but notice the weird shine still. I still don't know what was going on.

We went to the inn and hung out there, sitting around the table in one of the tucked away booths, in silence as I made circles on my bottle of mead. Petra looked dead to the world, staring at the middle of the table consistently, unable to look at anyone in the eye. Don't start that yet again Petra, please. I grabbed her hand and run my fingers over hers. She looked straight at my hand. Her stare pierced through. She'd seen something and wasn't talking about it. She knows she can be open with me but fears that what occurred she might say that it's her fault or something.

All I remember is the darkness returning. It's happened over and over and by now it's definitely via the influence of the Priest. He says nothing and takes control when he feels like it. It may be my fault. I don't want to let her feel this burden on her own.

We were fine, but now...it's unraveled us despite the connection's we'd made earlier. It's in part our faults for not taking the situation seriously enough and what ever was going to come next could come at any time. Ayisha and the Nerevarine were here to help and by Shor we're going to need it. Our heads just took a huge beating that may take a while to recover from.

"I'm sorry Brynjolf. I haven't even known you for that long and yet the pain is something that I had felt many times before." The Dunmer commented. He's supposedly a legend from ages past, a power being revered in Morrowind. He strikes a similar aura to Petra. He wasn't a dragonborn, but one of those birthed to right wrongs and spears the world with heroism. And like Petra, not everything was seen in black and white.

"Aye I should be okay. I just can't believe how Prolg could fizzle Neme away like that. All that, using that scroll there?" I said, pointing at the golden tube.

Nerevarine rubbed his eye.

"They have great and terrible power locked within them. I wouldn't surprised if he'd offed her that way. I'd never impose that sort of treatment. Abusing an Elder Scroll is definitely not a wise decision. But I suggest it wouldn't be wise to discuss this at a local inn. Is there anywhere we can talk in private without the possible ears of our enemies nearby?" He asked. Wise decision, if we're being honest.

I looked at Petra who pursued her lips.

"Our goal at the moment is to take the scroll back to the Throat of the World. Think we can walk and talk?"

* * *

We rode our way towards the Throat on our horses and horses that the Nerevarine and Ayisha had brought with them. Treading the path of the roads before us, I was still riddled with confusion and guilt but we discussed the situation with them both as we went.

"Like Ayisha mentioned previously, our mutual friend the Realm-Walker had sent us here to take of matters. To look after mama and papa as the went on their journey to repair time." Ayisha explained.

"The both of you?" Petra asked, breaking out of her silence. I think she just needed a bit of theory and recollection to get herself back into the groove.

"Yes, we're at best in the strangest situation, but having said that, being in Akavir raised some questions. And we're here for the answers." The Dunmer explained.

I nodded. The more people that understood the severity of the situation, the better.

"You and I both lad. Sometimes it's like we're getting nowhere. But we have to get somewhere." I said, in a strange way.

Petra agreed.

"So you guys and the Realm-Walker talked about..."

Ayisha bowed her head.

"The White Dragon. Sotrahkun. Her words are written in Akavir ruins. The Nerevarine believes it is odd." She said.

We turned to the dark elf.

"Yes she's correct. I'd gone to Akavir on the prompting of the words that kept appearing to me and I was compelled to go there after seeing messages of Sotrahkun's name. In my mind I see that all my life the words have popped up but. It seems recently, but honestly the words themselves have been popping up for a long time. Like my past is currently being replaced with new memories but seemingly remembering the old ones. It's given me several theories on what Sotrahkun actually is." He explained. Finally we're getting somewhere.

That's popped up to, I've noticed as well. And Petra has told me that on several occasions, seeing the word written on walls where they weren't supposed to. Sometimes in the middle of buildings. And one time in Nightingale Hall.

"Ayisha read a transcript off an Akaviri word wall. Realm-Walker had explained the details regarding the White Dragon of Light and Feathers." She stated.

Petra's expression indicated she was amused at the description.

"Yeah, sounds like a bird more than a dragon when you put it like that." She joked.

"Hmm...but the information we've collected so far culminates into connections with the Timestream. Or what the Dragons call, the Currents of Time. Or Ayisha so tells me." Nerevarine continued.

I'd heard about that before, but I noticed Petra shudder at those words.

"Something on your mind lass?" I questioned. Something often was.

She looked at me. I think she honestly wanted to get something out of her system.

"During...that little chapter in the temple, I know in my mind that I felt like I was going mad. I encountered a Lady in White. At first I thought I was hallucinating but it was rather painful to go through. She talked about the Timestream you mentioned." She explained. Lass was more worried about me than herself. I understand why she never said anything this time around, I'd assume.

Ayisha looked concerned however. Perhaps she knew more?

"The Lady in White? Or the Regkosot? Those words were written down on several other notes left behind." The Khajiit revealed, as she pondered.

They really love using that language don't that? The Akaviri, from my lessons, were Dragon slayers. So it would be obvious that they would use it. But to that extent? Seems obsessive.

"So she talked to you? Hmph. And I thought talking with the Tribunal was a handful." He said with snark.

Petra smiled.

"Thank you Nerevarine for making it seem like it was oh so normal." She spoke sarcastically.

The Nerevarine seemed pleasant for an elf. At first glance he was youthful, but you get the vibe that he's seen and heard a lot for his time and for all the legends that had gone with him, it's any wonder that's not that cynical and still has a heart for this sort of business. I've only known him for the past few hours, but I figure he and Petra have a lot in common.

"When you get to my age, most grievances appear normal. This reminds me of the stories regarding the Warp in the West. Now that's a time gone mad scenario if I ever saw it." The Dunmer continued.

"Ah Ayisha read about that. An event of impossibilities made possible."

And yet that was similar to our own problem...

* * *

We made it the Throat of the World, as the Nerevarine introduced himself to the Greybeards and how it was an honour to meet them. Though they were stunned by not missing a beat in just being a calm and welcoming figure, they'd respected him just as they respected Petra. Gods know how many heroes we need these days. I'm just a thief with a mad priest inside him.

I wasn't surprised as Ayisha approached Paarthurnax on the top of the mountain, though the old dragon appeared more worried than happy. Petra looked the same as well. The shine of their eyes...they're hardened diamonds with deep concerns.

Ayisha hugged the dragon by his neck. This Ayisha was...well, more like a bigger version of her younger self. While normally it would make me happy, the state of Paarthurnax needed to be discussed. The Nerevarine observed with unknown intent. I don't wanna know how he ticks.

"Dovahkiin...you must feel that disturbance no?" He asked her as Petra walked up to him.

He then noticed the scroll on her back.

"You have the Kel. Hmm...I fear it may be impossible to defeat Alduin in the way intended."

What?

Petra was confused.

"Why's that?" She questioned. She was hoping it was something minor but I feared otherwise.

"Can you feel the Currents of Time as they call out to you? The other dovah feel pain, kren tum ko vaarnufaaz. And I feel it the worst." Paarthurnax said in melancholy.

Her eyes darted from side to side as she crossed her arms.

"The Timestream...is dying. The Regkosot spoke with me. Whether it was through the Elder Scroll or by other means. We were in the Temple of the Divines in Solitude. The Thalmor and the Cult of Slaughter were together in a ritual that...as a mortal, couldn't think to have had any purpose..." She explained to him, although her voice was quite soft.

The dragon was in deep sorrow. He didn't appear to be in pain, but he was good at keeping a facade up in any other occasion.

"Regkosot? By Akatosh, she calls out to you Dovahkiin. She is wisest of all. Tales of the Regkosot have come across the ages...calling out to those she deems necessary to mend tiid."

And I thought the Realm-Walker was meant for that.

"Would that have anything to do with the reason Alduin can't be defeated this way?" The Nerevarine asked.

"Yes. The Regkosot is the Avatar Messenger of the guardian of the, Reyth do Poguk, Tree of Choices."

This was getting a bit much and out of hand quickly with all this information that has been written no where in the tomes of history. It was making me pretty angry if I had to be honest.

"Listen, Paarthurnax, I'm sick and tired of all the nonsense that is just getting us absolutely no where. Either there is a way to defeat Alduin or there isn't. Stop being so damned ambiguous and just give us an answer." I called out. Ayisha and Petra turned to me, perplexed as to why I was really angry all of a sudden.

Because I was annoyed by all the pitfalls and the torment that's never let Petra have her chances. She lives on a thread and I fear any day now that each of those days would be her last and by the Gods I can't let that happen.

"Krosis. The world is a mess. Each Dovah is perfectly attuned to the currents and I am holding back my urges to kill Petra, because it is within my primal nature to do so." He revealed.

Ayisha was the next to get pissed off.

"Why would you need to kill Mama? Mama is willing to do more for this world than anyone!"

Nerevarine rolled his eyes.

"Because she's the only one." He said sarcastically.

The dragon looked at Petra with a profound sadness in his eyes.

"Dovahkiin, you love this world do you not?" He asked her.

Despite all the crap that the world has given my lass, she still loves it...since there is still beauty left in the world for her protect. She raised her hand and opened and closed it, staring at the tool she had been using all her life.

"This world is the one I was born in. And we all have the right to protect it. Not as a hero, but a decent human being. I have stolen to survive and it does not make me innocent. But it makes me a necessity to set an example for future heroes. Just like the Nerevarine and the Champion of Cyrodiil. But I have much more to lose personally if I allow it to fester."

Paarthurnax bowed his head.

"The Dovah are out for your sos more than ever. We feel it within us to dominate but..."

Petra nodded.

"You were all Amethyst Dragons at one point. You protect the Laaglein...the unstable force closest to the Timestream. It is in all of the dovah's best interests is it not?"

Paarthurnax raised his head.

"That is in the ancient past. The Kel on you is the same that had given us a precedence to an ultimate power that would allow us to be who we are now. Suleyk mii ahrk kroved."

So much entailed in the basis of creation. Who knew the Dragons had such a past?

"So we can't just do nothing then. The...Regkosot...told me I had three options. One, die to stabilize the stream..." She started off.

No...she can't do that.

"Two, jump into the Timestream with the uncertainty of what was going to happen not with this world, but the thousands of others connected to it."

Dangerous. But if it gave us a chance...

"Three..do nothing and let time destroy itself. That would be less hassle but I doubt that would weigh well on everyone's shoulders."

No. No it wouldn't.

"And have you made your choice Dovahkiin?" He asked her.

"What kind of question is that? How dare you." I called out.

Paarthurnax raised his wings and flapped into the air.

"It is a question she will need to answer, joor. If the Regkosot has told her that she must choose, then it is up to the Dovahkiin to decide." He answered, not raising his voice.

This was getting aggravating on how he treated her as able to make a decision like that so easily.

"She is Dragonborn, but you are forgetting this is Petra too. The same Petra has been through enough." I called out. People seem to forget that.

Paarthurnax nodded.

"Very well. I will not stop you with any decision you decide to make. I cannot speak for the other dovah however...come back up here when you have decided. Choose well."

* * *

He'd flown off, allowing us to plan our next move. He still couldn't say why the decision had been changed, to why the original idea was no longer valid. This was making my blood boil. I want Petra to make the right decision for herself. I...am I selfish for wanting her alive? Will the world end if she refuses? I don't know.

She stood there with her legs tight together. No...Petra don't...

She fell to the ground in the snow, I ran over to her and squatted beside her. Her eyes had gone firmer, steeling themselves from the conflicts she was having within her.

"I don't want to die Brynjolf..." She spoke softly, her voice croaking.

I sat next to her and put my arm around her and brought her close. This was a terrible position she was being forced in, a position she never even wanted. And where was the Realm-Walker in all of this? She was much a part of this as we were.

Ayisha ran towards us and sat on the other side of Petra.

"Mama, we'll stick by you no matter what." She told her.

I grabbed on to her hand. I was lost on how to comfort her with this. We stood her up on her own two feet and helped her down the mountainside.

* * *

She'd gone catatonic and unresponsive again. We sat her down when we arrived back at High Hrothgar and discussed what happened with the Greybeards. Shor, I couldn't stand her like this. I could tell she was trying so hard to make things go right for once yet each time while her work was spectacular, she was destined for failure.

I spoke with the Nerevarine regarding something like this he'd ever encountered before as Ayisha tended to Petra.

"Do you know of any way through this?" I asked him.

He shrugged.

"This is a Gods work. Mortals are not meant to tread down the road and meddle with concepts they know nothing about. I've seen such meddling in Morrowind and here it's all the same. Apologies if I do sound like I don't care, but as a mortal mind in an immortal's body, time warps your head all the same." He answered, in a weird way.

Immortal?

He told me the stories he had in Morrowind, as those written in the legends of the Nerevarine. He contracted the Corprus disease and came out with only the blessing, or curse with immortality. He being here suggests the one discussion Petra and I had about the problems shared with being alive forever. Petra was content on dying naturally, and nothing about this suggests like it was natural. We're not going to proceed until we know for sure the right option to pursue.

"What did you have to sacrifice to live forever?" I asked him. There had to be something lost for something gained, that much I knew.

He crossed his arms and sighed.

"Bugger all really. But if you want a bit of a letdown, is you watch the people around you die, years feel like months, months become days, those sort of mental perceptions you have. I fear the day were days feel like minutes. Fifty years ago still is fresh to me, even for an dunmer."

I nodded. I've heard of that concept, although I'd forgotten it's name.

"But I will say her path is not an easy one. We've all made the difficult decision every now and again. People say they'd rather not live their life with regret. That's noble. However if you don't regret a portion of choice's you have made in your life time, you're not considered to have a soul."

He explained. I understood that fully. It wasn't me being a thief that I regretted, but for all the times I felt like I failed to help those I cared about.

"The world is never in black and white. You cannot just see the straight forward facts. It's impossible. You learn to deal with what you know and put up with it. But...for me, I cannot afford to sit still while danger still lurks out there. Petra, if she's in a better state, can attest that adventure doesn't just run through the blood of a dragonborn, but to all those willing to make a difference can continue to do so with a fire in their hearts."

I smirked.

"Aye, Petra definitely has it. She vastly underestimates herself. Why don't you join us then? We can provide plenty of adventure, proven you have the guts for it."

He chuckled.

"Oh I've been there, done that when the Guild was alive and well in Morrowind. We'd bartered with the Skyrim Guild from time to time. Personally thought all you nords were noisy barbarians from the looks of all of you."

I shrugged.

"We can be lad, we definitely can be. Let me guess, you were sitting back as a Master thief sipping what ever that brew you elves drink there and eating the finest foods with your ill' gotten money eh?"

He smiled.

"Of course. I would have stayed there if I wanted to. But, sadly, I had other callings."

It was hard to imagine the Nerevarine himself being part of our lousy lot, despite being in another province. The Guild presents itself there on the borders although according to Tonilia perhaps during the darker days we had less hauls coming from there, I think Delvin stated there were more Argonian patrols but...we obviously knew better.

"Were you there during the Oblivion Crisis?" I wondered. I think this would be a question he'd be asked often.

He shook his head.

"To my shame no. I'd actually been living in Akavir with the studies there after I visited Solstheim. If anything I'd suggest heading there one day, providing we all survive of course. I am only immune to aging and disease after all. It's dirty work and back then I was more lax and I often procrastinated. Though what good is it when it's everyone with the flesh of mortals that's going to die anyway."

He was right. This affected everyone. I trust Petra to make the choice she needs to. I really do.

* * *

That night, Petra was put to sleep and was watched by Ayisha whom worried about her state. I talked with the Khajiit, who had told me about the future without the Dragonborn in it, a world forever burning and consumed by Alduin with no one to stop it.

"Mama can't die. Time will fix but death will come to Skyrim and Elsweyr." She announced, sitting by Petra's bed as she slept. I wandered over and felt her face. She was running a fever. Lass...don't...

"You think her best option is to jump into the timestream then?" I wondered.

Ayisha stared at Petra.

"The Laaglein is a good place to rest. Ayisha placed scents on the bedside table to ward her off going near the timestream. If Mama is resting, then her intention may be to going to go in there."

I rose an eyebrow.

"Without telling anybody?"

Ayisha nodded.

"Mama can only fix the timestream if her mental state is stable. She is unable to make crucial decisions with a mind so distorted. Needs to heal and understand consequences of entering the Currents."

I'd rather her not go in this state either. But it was just filled with unknown implications on what would actually occur if she did.

"Ayisha says we can into the College of Winterhold's library to find out more. It has to have more." Ayisha suggested.

I agreed, taking Petra's hand and kissing it as she appeared to be struggling in her sleep, her eyes clenching. She stopped shifting as I held her hand.

"I like that idea Ayisha. It'd be good to know about what we're dealing with then to go face first without knowing left from right."

It was a plan that had to wait until morning to tell Petra, given she recovers from her catatonia. She's getting herself there better than I'd hoped, but I just can't help but wonder...

I know there's a cycle to these things, if my studies have taught me anything. A cycle of a hero, like Talos, like the Nerevarine, like the Champion of Cyrodiil and...like Petra...and they're given these many gifts and yet the world continues to turn as normal because they saved the world they were born in.

I'd think about the priest and wonder what he's thinking about this. What about the Dragonborn of his time? What did become of them? Why is that has to be Petra to die or else we are doomed. Lass never asked for any of this. Neither did I.

I laid in bed and wondered, had I not recruited her, had I recruited...someone else with the same caliber? The same nerve and still just not Dragonborn...would events turn be similar?

Mercer would still be alive and would have gotten away scot-free for murder. Fate is a cruel mistress.

I was then woken up by the Nerevarine, saying that Petra had gone missing. I looked over to her bed, as Ayisha had awoken up and cursed herself for not staying awake with her. No, it wasn't her fault. My mind went to the comforting fact that she would have most likely gone up to see Paarthurnax and sleep underneath his wing. She was fine, I was sure of it.

I told them I'd handle it to check on her and that it was going to be okay, but none of them believed me and waited for me to come back with Petra.

* * *

I wandered out to the courtyard and looked down, seeing footsteps in the snow. My brow furrowed as I followed alongside them, leading me to the tower. Ah so she was probably looking at Skyrim below us, just not able to sleep again.

I went up the steps with the intention of sitting by her. I froze as I saw her standing there on the edge, looking downwards and her back to me. No...no...my heart jumped as I slowly approached her.

"Petra...what are you doing?" I spoke sternly, taking one foot in front of the other.

"Brynjolf I'm not all surprised to see you here." She replied so calmly, that it was rather creepy.

"Was worried when I didn't see you in bed. Was gonna head up to check if you were with Paarthurnax but footprints lead me here." I told her outright.

She chuckled. That was not a happy chuckle.

"My hearts been pounding...my gut's been churning, my eyes burning, my throat tight...words constantly buzzing around in my head, so many voices, too many voices..." She continued.

"Right...wrong...they're too hard to ignore...everything we do just seems to make things worse...I can't get it to stop Bryn. I can't get control over anything...I can't get you to trust me with words you've never said. You say one thing, you mean another...I wanted you to say it to me..."

Words I've never said?

"I've been surrounded with people who've been wanting something from me without giving much in return. They don't care for Petra as a person. They only care for the Dragonborn...you do see me as Petra the friend and the lover...but not as just Petra..believer of your secrets, your inner truth...but I wanted to be patient, because I knew they were irrelevant. I'm not gonna worry about it anymore."

I took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy.

"Well, what did you want to know?" I asked. I forced myself to be steady with her.

Petra bit her lip as she adjusted herself.

"What drives you?" She asked.

I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, whether it had to do with anything specific.

"I'm not understanding what you're asking me." I said.

She rubbed her neck. Sign of anxiety.

"You are who you are Bryn. You never talk about yourself in great detail. You're like me in that regard where we give without asking for a lot in return. I would do it because perhaps...I prefer to follow orders to survive. Maybe that is all I ask for. But your selfness notion has got me curious for months. Love isn't entirely a convincing answer." Petra explained.

I...

"So all I ask is your true intentions...for me...for the Guild...for everything else that's happened. Don't lie to me because I'll know. I'll know where I stand."

Damn...how can I put it...here I go.

"I've never had a great childhood as you might have guessed. Being forced to learn rites as a young lad wasn't something I had planned, especially my own future. Being lied to wasn't fun either. But going through this with you has opened my eyes. About how my father used me. About how he used mother and how I had to take care of her. Having Zoklot in my mind opened it up to a lot of the locked away memories of my own youth when I couldn't physically do anything. He was powerful, as his spirit constantly dominated me as I had tried to fight him off. Thanks to you, however has caused a change in his causes, even if they are still vague. It meant I had more control.

As for my intentions...I only wish to see this through. Because then we can get things back to normal or as normal as they can be...we'll go back to stealing...for you...my true love. I'll admit to taking you on as an Asset but..."

Should I mention my inspirations?

"But you reminded me of when I was still a boy and a member of the Guild gave me some advice when I had run away with my father. It gave me some incentive to join and it saved my life. It gave me the idea of how powerful words can be. You looked like the lass who talked me. She looked tough..."

Petra rose an eyebrow.

"You love the concept because of this woman? Do you love me or the idea itself Bryn?" She questioned.

"No...No..let me finish." I said, fearing she'd take this the wrong way.

"She saw my anger and hatred for the path I was being forced upon. So then I saw you...and you had the same ferocity. I had argued with a few of the members back in the Flagon about how much I gushed about your skills. It forced me to think about it...and as I made subtle prayer to Talos, he sent you to me. Your fear, your anger, your hate...I've had similar feelings and felt like I had lot more in common with you...not only that, but...that day at Riften. When the Dragon attacked...as I was dying bloodied and drowning in Lake Honrich, my last thoughts were of finally realizing that I was in love with you...and I had believed you were dead and perhaps we'd find each other again in Sovngarde."

I heard her take a shaken sigh.

"I made my prayer to Talos once more and again...he sent you, his shining successor, to me...to save my life. He tells me you're the answer. That the woman I love was the Dragonborn. Then we hung out more and we'd become closer. My heart wanted to see you again so badly that it didn't care about what you became. It was then the love wasn't about what you were or what title you had. That for all the Petra I had where, her best, her worst and her most beautiful were shown that the love never waned and over time became stronger."

I sensed she trying so hard to hold back tears. But honesty here was definitely key and I had to be assertive.

"I then feared two things: One was where I would lose you, the other was rejection. I'd been focusing on the former because not only the world needed you, but I needed you. After Mercer, I couldn't risk losing the only person I truly cared about and be damned if I was going to ensure your survival for one selfless reason and one selfish reason. And...Petra...you allowed me to see you...you allowed me to touch you, kiss you and do all the things that would have solidified that yes, this is what I want and nailed the idea of not letting you go in my head."

I was partially nervous and only hoped to erase any doubt.

Then she said something unexpected.

"Thank you Bryn. I guess it's time for me to be honest instead." Petra said, her tone strong.

"I've been thinking long and hard about this. Consider that I have felt myself feeling wrong after you resurrected me at Fellnir and the Soul Cairn. I had known that had been the case just couldn't define it. It's just that, while I saved the Guild and many others in general, would you rather have a world willing to defend itself against the dragons and without me to help or the world just gone, no existence what so ever?" She asked me.

It brought back the discussions we had about bringing dead people back to life. Hers was messy but she was alive...not undead, living because we were prepared and thanks to the Realm-Walker and associates. But no. I want her here with me.

"Lass you here is the best thing that ever happened to me." I told her. I will tell her a thousand times and more if I had to.

"And likewise Bryn, I couldn't have asked for a more dedicated man. I fear that I had lead you elsewhere, from your original intentions. I was forced to kill your mentor, made you encounter the father you hated who killed the mother you loved. I've hid myself away when I became a vampire and sheltered myself as a Dragon soul. I've been violated, stabbed...I've kicked, I've screamed and been an all around weakling and you pick me up, each and every time and I tell myself I am not worthy of your love."

Because...love isn't about all that.

"You're a good person Petra just placed in the worst situation. I love you because you're you. Your smile makes me weak, your laughter warms my heart and you're fun to be with. Plus, you still need to steal a giants club." I told her. We both lost that night, in case she forgot.

"Oh yeah. That. I've decided that was as stupid idea Bryn. This whole thing has been stupid. But it has been fun I agree with you there. And this world is beautiful when you see past all the harshest parts. I wanted to live here. To live here with you and that we could get married and have kids someday...having been inspired by Ayisha herself. She's still alive, and that's wonderful." She said. Something was wrong here. I could tell. Her words, her tone...my heart ached. She...wanted marriage? I still had my amulet somewhere. We can still do that.

"But you must know because of all this, it's not meant to be. I want to be alive Bryn and you've convinced me to live on as have all the others. Your love for me has endured. I've never felt it so powerful within me before. I was afraid of where it could take me because it got deeper and deeper and I understood more thanks to Karliah. Which pains me greatly that I have to do this."

My eyes widened and my heart dropped and nearly broke completely, my throat tightening. Why wasn't this working? Why does she have to do this? I want it to stop.

" _Petra..._ " I said, voice hard as I shook my head. "Lass don't..."

She turned to me with tears running down her face. Similar tears that were shed on that day I found out what she was. And now I was having those same tears.

"It will fix things Bryn. It's so simple. The world will heal. And you can go back to the Guild, your true family." She muttered, trying to sound content but failing.

I was so confused, feeling fury taking over my sorrow. But my own heart started beating rapidly.

"No! There is another way Petra! I won't let you...I won't let you do this because some mystic bitch told you to!" I cried out. Gods...please don't...

"I have broken this world enough. And it hates me. It's hated me and tried to kill me. And it has. It was meant to stay that way. Can't you hear it? It's calling to me directly! I hear its voice in the wind. I will bear its hatred, take it with me...it will be okay...I swear it. " She told me with the first time I loathed to see her smiling like that.

"Why? Why now?" I called out. Why can't I move all of a sudden?

She smirked, looking down and adjusted herself slightly and took deep breaths.

She then locked eyes with me. Precious seconds became an eternity.

"Because sometimes you have to do what you hate in order to survive. For everyone else to live, in this reason." Petra voiced, softer yet sharp into my chest.

She turned around and took a deep breath. That was the lesson her father taught her. No! Just..

"Thank you Bryn...for everything..."

No...

" ** _Wuld!_** "

**NO!**

In that instance, I felt the impulse within me as she descended after pushing herself up with the shout. The amount of dread filled my very veins and and the surge of energy fluctuate alongside my searing emotional comprehension. I screamed into the air, the shadows of Zoklot's armour consumed me, with the summoning of the wings that followed. I made no hesitation as I spread them and charged off the tower, spearing downwards to find Petra.

Her eyes were closed wind drifted by, pushing by. I sped down as fast as I could. Get down faster Bryn come on...

I went underneath her and caught her, much to her dismay as she was lost in one of trances. I felt instant relief as I held her in my arms, flowing around half way down the mountain. Phew

I made our way towards back to the top of the tower and landed down and running towards the back. I was...so pissed off she was willing to do that as I gritted my teeth, letting her stand then grabbing her and pushing her against the wall, my wings enveloping her and preventing her from even considering doing that again. I was seething.

"Don't you  _EVER_  attempt that again..." I spoke with a tranquil fury.

She just looked at me with her eyes widened with a flabbergasted expression.

"Bryn...don't..." She choked, shaking underneath me.

I just pushed her harder on the wall, putting my face closer to hers.

"Don't what? After I told you not to do it? You call this simple. I call it the easy way out." I called out to her.

She shook her head. She struggled but I refused to let her go if she was going to make stupid choices like this.

"It wasn't an easy decision to make." She muttered out, with her tears still streaming. So were mine. I hated doing this.

"No...but it's the easiest way because it's not hard to do once it's been done. So here's what we've got planned. We're going to go to Winterhold...and read up. We're going to beat the Gods at their own game...then we will kill Alduin, then we do what the Oblivion we like afterwards. We get married, have kids, what ever that doesn't involve any of this...screwing with our minds...focus on my words, instead of the ones in your head...that's whats killing you Petra."

She whimpered, her shoulders shook in tandem and her head fell. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look me in the eye.

"I...I am...sorry..." She stuttered, followed by uncontrollable sobbing.

I sighed. I don't like doing this to her. It gets frustrating when you try so hard and get nowhere. I have to keep trying.

"Promise me Petra, you won't die...tell that you whom ever you encounter. Because you are mine and I am yours. Because I love you too much for you to make stupid choices like this. You do have the power to change this if you at least keep going..."

She was giving me mixed messages as I tried to read her bloodshot eyes. I never want to put her through it, but it's the only opportunity we have to fight this. To set it right again. I want her to do what she can for the best of herself and come out kicking ass.

" _Petra..._ "

She pursed her lips.

"I...I promise...I promise not to die...b-because I wouldn't stand being alone without you...and it's clear t-to see you still need me..I'm sorry for being selfish...and I want us to do what we can. For everyone...my head hurts. Everything hurts...Bryn make it stop..." Petra pleaded.

I let go of her, my total rage ceasing as the armor faded away, going back to my normal thieves guild gear. I brought her into a sudden hug, wrapping my arms around her tightly. I felt her reciprocate, which was a good sign.

"It's okay Petra...even if it's not...we're still drawing breath right now. And if we have that then we still are okay." I told her.

She sniffed as I felt her shift her head.

"I guess...it's what the Regkosot told me that made me think...no it doesn't matter. What matters is what I think and what I can do." She said, voice sounding a bit more firmer.

"That's true. You tell yourself that. Consider everything impossible to be possible unless proven. Never forget we're here. Alright?"

* * *

She's a crazy lass I tell you what...offing herself to save the world. It's just not right. You may call me crazy too for saving her and for even loving her. I should expect nowadays for her to pull off stunts like these. But this tripped me over the edge and called on Zoklot's power without him being there. Brought on by the love. I didn't think I would have been able to save her otherwise.

Made me think of where the priest was. I was able to take his power without his permission. Could prove useful. But...for now, we're stable and I was willing to finish this. We walked back to the Monastery with Petra, holding her hand with her admitting shame for what she tried to do and not to tell this to the others. I said I would tell them she was meditating...

She gets put on both sides of the spectrum. It get's ridiculous. For now, I put her back to bed and kissed her, giving her much needed warmth, assuring the others of the story I told. She smiled, which was a start.

Thankfully, we might actually be able to do this.


	82. Study

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra aims to work hard to get the matter under control, but not before more horror strikes.

 

I honestly feel like I have no control over my actions. I am told I am gifted with choice. But's the most difficult choices that I am given and any that I decide to go along with, each of them, have ramifications for the future.

I had hoped that my sacrifice would have it straight, but Brynjolf was not having a bar of it. He was so pissed off that me committing suicide was the stupidest action I could take. I had taken it as the option most open to me and the way that life could move on without me, but...he had said it was the easiest for me to commit to.  
Now that I look at it properly, it indeed was indeed stupid of me to take my own life like that. It was also quite selfish. I forget that Bryn had only justAA lost his mother and I need to be there for him. 

Seeing him angry like that scared me, but I realize that's his anguish finally cracking through. I saw that in his tears. The same tears that were shed when we were on Fellnir. I need to help him. I know I want to save this world but I still need to be a decent damn human being for once and stop thinking this is all about me. This is nothing about destiny, adventures or fate. It's what is front of me, here and now. It's what I can touch, hear, taste and smell and most importantly, what I can see with my own two eyes.

I see Bryn there. Being himself. Being the red-headed bastard I've known him to be but now through all this, he's definitely hurting more than he lets on. I need to be stronger for him and for the world...but how?

My mind's been abused a lot. I'm like in the ocean, with my head barely above the water and my hand reaches out to anyone who could take it and pull me out. There have been others willing to save me, but what would have happened if no one had been there?

My soul was on still fire and it just burned intensely. The voices I heard...weren't my own after all. The urge was screaming at me but it was not my screams.  
I was subconsciously believing that killing myself would fix things.

I am not worthy of my role and as a Nord, that would be seen as the cowardly way out. People look at it and think that it's something that's so heinous and the worst they would call you is a milk-drinker. I'm okay with that...I deserve it.

Everything that was thrown at me resulted in a cavalcade of chaos, my mind jumbled at the contradictions my role has. I am born to defeat Alduin and save the land yet I am born to die so theone timeline of me can succeed? Had I had done something different, would I have lived?

It's difficult to attain to, that's for sure. A line crossed and now we're all paying for it. How you feel that everything will be destroyed in a whirlwind of pure destruction simply because you exist? The Realm-Walker had been wrong to save me and now I'm just a pure messed up girl.

She tells me that I have the power to succeed. Hmph...maybe not in this timeline. Not in this world. She calls me a precious being, then I look at all the crap that's happened to me. How am I destined for this? I feel so sick I wanted to vomit sometimes. STOP IT PETRA YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS!

Brynjolf kept a closer eye on me after that. I am...fearful for his rage if I am to do that again. It's a last resort option I suppose, but he's determined to make sure that what ever I get myself into, that I would come out on top. I didn't want to let him down again.

* * *

 

The four of us had navigated our way to the College of Winterhold, to discover more about this timestream, or the Currents of Time that Paarthurnax seems to enjoy calling. I had the Elder Scroll still strapped to my back. My mind was in limbo between broken and the facade that I forced myself under.

I am wary to the timestream being broken, I feel every crack and wound, that I cannot see or even know their exact locations. The price of having a Dragon soul has it's negative side, so now I was hurting mentally and spiritually. Physically? Well that's yet to happen again just yet.

We let the Altmer at the gate know we just need access to the library and that we meant the College no harm and that Enthir could vouch for us as...uh, fellow mages. She was wary but let us through, warning us of Urag's policy on books in his Arcaeneum.

Venturing inside, The Nerevarine made comment on the College's infrastructure, while Ayisha's presence was met with a whistle, from the Khajiit mage who had been practicing spells outside. She brushed him off with an elegance and poise that I was envious of. I'm proud of her.

I had spoken with the Old Orc in charge, who was sitting behind his bench, on suggestions on what books to read that might relate to the Timestream... he was...welcoming...somewhat.

"Timestream huh? So you're looking into the Seed Theory then?" He asked us.

I nodded. Can't exactly say what we're doing at the moment, or what's going on.

"Yes. We're uh...looking into matters pertaining the dragons as well you know?" I stated.

He grumbled.

"Bah...they're good for study but terrible for our mages. Nords turn their backs on us and when it suits them they come crying to us for help. I'm sorry but that's their own damn problem." He scolded.

I rolled my eyes. I'm kinda glad I didn't pursue magic further.

"They're intertwined with time itself." I explained. "We're doing a bit of research on how to defea-"

"Wait what is that on your back?" He asked all of a sudden.

My eyes darted behind me

"Oh this? Nothing, just paperwork of mine I like to keep stored in there." I lied.

His eyelids dropped, giving me a soft glare.

"Don't play dumb with me. That's an Elder Scroll ain't it? No wonder you wanna look into the Timestream. Look, it's not my business if you wanna partake in some research here, but if you're gonna start messing with time itself, it'll mess with you right back." Urag warned.

The Nerevarine and I exchanged glances. He had to have known.

"So you're aware of all the problems in Skyrim then? Things are where they're not supposed to be, people coming up at random times..." The Dunmer stressed.

He stood up, going to one of the bookshelves and tried to avoid eye contact as shuffled through them.

"Yes we're aware. Most of the reports should be taken with a grain of salt. Probably Skooma increase since the Thieves Guild has gotten back to power recently." The orc continued.

I rose an eyebrow as I looked at Brynjolf who shrugged. How in Oblivion did he come to that conclusion?

"So nothing in Winterhold has come up as suspicious or weird lately?" I questioned.

He sighed.

"If we investigated every dragon sighting or what ever, we'd be out of our resources when it's most likely tricks of illusion. The real matter to investigate is the source itself. So you're here to Investigate the Timestream, a matter of the Seed Theory that was once written down by a old Dragon Priest. Who had been there to find it." He said.

I crossed my arms. That wouldn't surprise me.

"I'm aware of it as well. It has connections to a place known as the Laaglein, or the Dream World, so I have heard." I told him.

Urag nodded.

"Exactly. The Laaglein is famous for confusing a lot of people and their dreams. The Currents of Time is a huge matter for the dragons." He stated."...ahh here we go..."

He took out a huge brown book, dusty and crusty enough to be considered ancient.

"It's written in the Dragon language. Hope you can read it. And for the sake of Julianos, try not to mess it up" He told us.

He sat it down around a table as he had left the book open for Ayisha to read. She skimmed through it, searching for anything that might be remotely useful.

"The Currents of Time flow through the Timestream, seen to me as on top of a misty mountain. My Master had instructed me to visit there to get as much information from it as possible. I was there for a few months, delegating experiments. What happens if you decide to go into the Stream? I had thrown an apple in there, only for it to pop out aged and withered. It shows that it has random ties to time itself. I threw another in there, only for the seed to fall out. It had proven my theory correct that I decided to call this the Seed Theory after the first experiments I had. I had poured many items in there and it was called at very random. Some were placed within and did not come out for hours, days even weeks in different states. I started throwing the same items in there that I had already placed inside it, and some of them went back to themselves and others transformed completely. It was a fascination that I could not fathom to describe."

Random huh...doesn't describe much about choices though.

"It goes on to say how, 'While inanimate objects were being altered, I wanted to test a sentient, to see how they would come out of the Stream. I had kidnapped a few of the slaves to test the theories that were in place. A young man that I pushed in and came out years old detailed the experiences that he had witnessed. He said, he had been to another world, dark and filled with fire and ice. His family was long gone but there were no dragons in sight. An age without dragons? A future or a past? He was there for years and stated that he had his potential freedoms and married and had children, but then had to leave after his family was murdered by mer clad in black suits. Curious. Very Curious.

Next was an old woman who had come back but a skeleton with a note attached stating Alduin was dead. Dead? Hmm...it's considered heretical to speak of but the slave woman had written it over and over..."

I rose an eyebrow. So these people had entered the stream and ended up at another Era.

"Does it say why any of them were compelled to go back like that?" I asked her.

Ayisha placed a finger on the text and scrolled along.

"Says he'd placed a spell that would force them to find their way home again within the five year period." She confirmed.

The Nerevarine lifted his chin.

"How would they do that though?" He wondered.

I rubbed my chin.

"The Laaglein is designed for your mind to be transported there. It appears the Priest had gotten there physically...which suggests there may be a portal to the Laaglein without having to sleep on it." I theorized.

"The Laaglein is unstable. One could get lost." Ayisha stated with worry.

"Does it say it anywhere?" Brynjolf wondered.

Ayisha tried her hardest to find any relating texts.

"Ayisha can only see references to a Master...Alduin?" She guessed.

I rolled my eyes and scratched my nose.

"Come on...so you need a dragon to enter?" I said with spite.

Ayisha's brows furrowed as she continued to scroll across, trying hard to figure it out.

"No...going into it, mentions Hermaeus Mora. Daedric Prince of Fate and Knowledge. Ayisha reads that the Priest was allied with him as he had taught him that he was one who could speak the language the dragons and use their power against them." She read out.

Wait a minute. I looked at Brynjolf with those suspicious words.

"You think...that this was written by the first Dragonborn? The one who who killed Zoklotinhaar?" I said, making the connections.

He nodded.

"Aye, That looks to be the case." Bryn answered. "So he was studying it for himself and his master. It's obvious he wasn't serving Alduin anymore and allied himself with the Daedra who told him what he was. Its starting to make sense."

I eyed him, trying to see and sense if Zoklot wanted to say anything. There wasn't even a fragment of a dark aura felt in the air. I tried to figure out more, until Brynjolf splayed a red book with the gold binding on the table. It looked familiar.

"I'd almost forgotten I had this. Even if it doesn't have all the answers, it may allow us to find out more about this Dragon Priest." Brynjolf stated.

Of course! The family tree! However, we didn't know anyone who read daedric at this stage. Maybe Nocturnal could help...or...

"Ayisha sees the books author is Miraak..." Ayisha revealed.

Interesting.

"Okay good we've got a name then. Miraak. Bryn, does the priest in you have anything to add?" I askef.

Brynjolf shook his head. You'd think he'd interrupt.

"No. Nothing at all. I suspected he would have known but otherwise never have told me about it. I'd rather not trust him lately either. I'm wary of his silence and I feel he could pop out at any time." Bryn cautioned.

Poor Bryn. He has to put up with so much. Most of it was my fault.

"If this points out all the Dragon Priests, it might just have this one you call traitor to Alduin's reign within. But...would this orc know Daedric?" The Nerevarine suggested, pulling his hair behind his ears.

"No he doesn't." Urag shouted from afar.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't speak about him in earshot will you?" I told the dunmer.

The Nerevarine smirked.

"We'll find somebody. If he didn't describe the location of where he went physically, I do have one theory. Back during the Tribunal era, Sotha Sil was said to have gone through something called the Dreaming Cave to speak with the Daedric Princes, a gate way to any realm of Oblivion you wanted. So how the story goes. Sotha Sil was a weird fellow which I refuse to talk about. Anyway, there were only two places that I would heard you could access them. One was from the Isle of Artaeum. I highly doubt the mages there would give you free reign to the realm. I also heard, quite bizarrely, that there was one in Coldharbour." He revealed.

I had a cold sweat wash over me from head to toe. All I could think about is Mercer. No...not this again.

"So we go the Isle?" I suggested, out of the blue.

The Nerevarine shook his head.

"I'm afraid that'd be impossible. I'd wager with what was going on with time that they'd be focused on trying to repair it. They're a lot more attuned to the forces of magic than anyone else." He said.

Next thing we saw was Urag come into the conversation.

"Don't mind me butting in here, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on your little discussions here. You want to go the Dreaming Caverns from Artaeum, forget about it. Artaeum is lost and unpredictable. Plus, the Laaglein is an Aedric realm, not a Daedric one. Although I wouldn't be surprised if you could access there though. The Dreaming Cave is also known to be the Door to the Heavens. If you believe that sort of thing. I also wouldn't be surprised if there was a door on each realm to get there. Best bet, is to find a door in another realm if you know where it's located." The Orc suggested.

That nearly went over my head.

"Ah yeah...sure. Thanks Urag." I said.

He grumbled once more.

"Yeah yeah...just...be careful when you're out there.."

We had some ideas, some good, some bad and others outlandish. We'd visit the Soul Cairn, knowing where the portal was, but...as the Nerevarine had told us, the Ideal Masters aren't considered princes. As planes of Oblivion are either considered infinite, or closest to, we weren't going to find this damn door without help.

We decided that we would need to speak with Nocturnal directly, our closest source that may be able to let us know where the door was. Gods know what would happen when we got there, but it was better than knowing I would still have to die for the world to mend itself. Brynjolf would just get pissed at me again.

* * *

We exited the College with new intentions, only to see a familiar Altmer on the bridge near us, coming back into the College grounds. Thalmor gear and a face that I had seen back at the Temple of the Divines...

"Ancano..." I whispered.

He stood there and smirked at us. Gods I wanted to slit his throat.

"Greetings! Oh I was just coming back from a meeting. I'm glad to see you're alive and well, Dragonborn. Prolg sends his regards." He spoke to us with that smug tone of his.

Brynjolf was going to lose it.

"You killed my mother elf. I'll cut your throat open!" He roared, unsheathing his blade.

My eyes widened. He read my mind, but worried me with his anger.

"Oh Brynjolf, son of Prolg. A shame you're part of a dwindling breed. But look where we are. In the middle of a bridge over looking the sea of ghosts. You battle me here and you may end up down there. Your choice." The Altmer taunted.

Brynjolf growled. He was eager for vengeance. I don't blame him. I would be too.

"Nemetona didn't have a choice did she? You killed her using that Elder Scroll. I saw it with my own eyes."

Ancano's grin just got creepier.

"Oh did we now?" He said. "So it's possibly not the best thing I've ever done. No, I've already done that. And have been rewarded for it too... see?"

He pulled out a necklace, made of some dark material and the pendant was in the shape of a dragon's head in Alduin's like, with two rubies for eyes.

"This is the Amulet of Alduin. He's been very generous to those who have pleased him. Giving us all the gift of the voice. Just like the Dragonborn here..."

My stomach dropped. How in...since when was that a thing? I call bullshit right there. Honestly...

I shook my head as the Nerevarine was deep in thought.

"So the Dragon had given you the gift? Hmm..." He murmured. I believe he's in the same mindset, hesitant to believe.

"Petra is the real Dragonborn here." Brynjolf said cooly.

Ancano chuckled. I was really more annoyed that that was even possible.

"Yes she is. You're lucky I'm not going to kill you all today. Cannot risk her death just yet. Although your friends in the Guild...perhaps Nocturnal never favored them." He said in a mysterious way.

What?

"What nonsense are you speaking of Elf?" Bryn roared.

"We had a tip of where your friends were hiding. Wasn't difficult when you approach the right people with the right pressure. We just needed the key, so we forced the Guild Master out of her hidey hole and with swift action, had the course of dragons singe them just right."

My heart was beating fast. No...no no no no..Karliah...Delvin...Vex...no...everyone..

I looked over the edge...I still had a chance if...

Brynjolf grabbed my hand and refused to let me go. He said nothing but knew what I was going to do. I forgot I had to promise him I wasn't going to die. I grasped his hand back and nodded. I have to keep fighting no matter what.

"So, Dragonborn, you have the freedom to come with us. Because you know, we have the same goal in mind and I have been doing the same research into the the Dreaming Cave and it's link to the Laaglein and by extension, the Timestream..." Ancano continued. So he'd be walking the same path too.

I started to shake. No...this cannot be happening it...

"Why is it that you want her anyway? Is it because of the Elder Scroll? Or because of the fact she's spiritually unique?" The Nerevarine asked. He seemed so calm in the face of danger and possible despair if what he said was true.

Ancano crossed his arms.

"That is none of your concern Dunmer. It matters that she is important to us and our pla-"

* * *

I opened my eyes. Again, lost in the void I had come to get acquainted with so often.

Again, left trailing around in the darkness that once protected me. I hadn't done anything yet, this feels like I was being displaced once more. Where in Oblivion was the Realm-Walker.

"Oh Gods Petra, goodness..."

Right on time.

I glared at her.

"Is this time being a dick again?" I said with scorn. In fact, I wasn't happy with her at the moment.

She nodded. Although she didn't look too happy either.

"Yes. Yes...definitely. Damn, I was listening to Ancano's conversation and suddenly boom, you're back here again dwelling in the void. No, listen to me Petra. Do not go back to Nightingale Hall."

She said with haste. I'd never seen her so...worrysome before. She was...almost panicking.

"Why not?" I wondered. "Is what he is saying true?"

She bit her lip and looked down. My heart was breaking for the thousandth time.

"There was another ambush. A traitor to the cause that was sent out to kill everyone. Don't know who the traitor is. Can't be Mercer, he's dead. Nocturnal has cut off ties and locked the Ebonmere on her own will. The key is still in place I sense...but..."

I looked at her sternly.

"What?"

She sighed.

"They're all dead Petra. Everyone's dead."

I fell over in a swift motion, only for the Realm-Walker to catch me.

"Petra listen to me. I know that killing yourself sounds like a great option at this stage but like Brynjolf said, you can't die. No...not now. You need to get to the Timestream as soon as possible."  She urged.

I failed the Guild...just because they were linked to me. It's...

"This is your fault you know." I told her with heavy dread. By extension with my inheld rage, I punched her in the face, forcing her to nearly topple over and let go of me. I was feeling sluggish, slouching over with my near inability to stand.

"Take me to the Hall." I told her. My voice was low, creating the barely thin line containing the rest of the fire within me.

The Realm-Walker stood back up and wiped the blood off her nose. So's shes not all high and mighty. Mortal, like the rest of us.

"Petra, I know its' difficult to understand but..."

" _ **TAKE ME BAAAAAAACK.**_.." I roared with unleashed hatred and sorrow, before my knees gave way and I was forced to sit down, I leaned over and sobbed.

The Realm-Walker looked despondent as she approached me, towering over me. How could anyone let this happen? I didn't want to look at her stupid face. She's caused all this pain. She needs to listen to me.

"Okay. I'll send you back. Do what you need to do. My suggestion is, and I know you hate me enough already, but you almost forget, while you have lost your ties with Nocturnal, there are a variety of princes you can seek out. You have the Mace of Molag Bal with you?" She asked me.

I looked up. I'd almost forgot about it. But, the weapon is tied to me somehow, although I put it away in the chest back in the hall and wanted nothing to do it with, it reappeared in my hand, surprisingly. I threw it to the ground in disgust.

"Which means you still serve Molag himself." She said with a monotone.

If Molag was watching, he'd know I was weak for sure. Why would he still want me to be his champion? It made no sense.

"You saying I'd have to go to Coldharbour to find the door?" I asked her with disbelief and strain.

She nodded.

"Molag still knows your real strength. I'm aware of what you did to Mercer. It happens. It's an inevitable price to pay for betrayal." She said.

I looked down, I don't even know anymore.

"Yet, I'm still being torn down from pieces of my past..." I told her.

She knelt down beside me.

"I haven't lied to you this far Petra. I did this out of curiosity and all I discovered was that it not just made it worse but it brought you nothing but pain and misery. I'm still working hard to figure out anything at all, maybe loopholes in the system who knows? We will get you out of this alive and I swear it." She told me with determination.

I looked up at her, my face drenched in despair.

"Do you know of anything this painful..." I asked her, my voice croaky.

She nodded.

"I have lost a lot in response to what I had to gain. I have lost friends and family, like you. You say like the rest of us that will become accustomed to the sadness. But when you feel like you could have saved them, it's the overbearing guilt and shame that...yes, they could have been saved if you would have done anything. But you're not there. Mentally and physically. I have known those, others falling down the same path as you and have come out still in the dark, but know they're holding a torch to find their way. That's what you need. A torch, a guide to lead you out of the void." She explained thoroughly. It made sense.

She stood back up and gave me her hand.

"You are stuck in the ocean of despair, head barely above the water with your hand reaching for what ever could take it. Take mine Petra."

I gulped. I wanted to trust her, but...if she would lead me down the wrong again, I didn't know what I would do. I caught hold of her hand, as she dragged me up to my feet.

"You're right. Definitely. It's not fair for you to put up with any of this. I aim to aid you as much as I can to get back at what can be done to rectify. Please don't lose your humanity along the way. Hold on to it as much as you can. You're not a monster Petra. You are a loving daughter of Skyrim and would do anything to make it whole again. I aim to make your intentions swift and true." She told me. I had seen a tear roll down her eye.

I nodded firmly and grasped her hand.

"So you'll take me to the hall?" I had to ask again.

"Yes. I'll come and help myself."  She said. "The others are looking for you. Ancano had left them alone for now, not wanting to cause a scene. I'll try and get Chell to transplant them back to the Hall to assist you. Be warned, what you're about to see is..gruesome. Think you can take it?"

I gulped. My heart was already heavy. Don't know how heavier it could get.

But the others...why would I want to put them through it? Brynjolf needed closure as well.

"Take us then. Take us back to the Hall. Then we'll talk about returning to Coldharbour." I demanded.

* * *

In a flash, I felt myself drop outside the old standing stone with the scent of smoke and flesh filling the air. I saw the others being ported here as well. Unaware of what had just happened. Brynjolf took one look at me and ran over.

"Petra...you had us worried there for a – Gods.." He trailed off after he'd held on to my arms, his grip weakening as he whiffed the air.

"He was r...no..."

We ran inside, seeing the whole hall covered in ash and burnt up corpses. I stayed close to Bryn and wept into his chest as we made the slow walk around the hall. Gods...why?

"You have my deepest sympathies." The Nerevarine stated.

Ayisha walked up to us and rubbed my arm.

"Ayisha is currently in deep sorrow. Guild is family..."

She and the Nerevarine helped take the bodies and aligned them in the main area with the intention to bury them. I pulled myself together and looked over them. They were burnt but I tried to recognize the faces. We found Karliah in the main chamber, her body lying on the ground alongside a sword. She'd battled bravely...

The Realm-Walker soon walked in after and examined the chamber with saddest expression.

"Dragon's Fire is deadly. Alduin had allowed them to shout. None of them stood a chance." She commented, wandering with her hands behind her back.

Vekel and Tonilia were at the Nocturnal's Shade, his little bar, their bodies next to one another with their daggers. As we took Karliah's corpse back, I noticed a note on the floor, lightly singed.

I unfolded it and read it's contents. I put my hand on over my mouth and weeped.

"Lass...what is it?" Bryn asked.

I...no...this is the cruelest of cruel things they've ever done. They have to pay...the note contained details regarding Tonilia's pregnancy...none of us even knew she was. She was keeping it a secret.

We rounded up the bodies we had found and identified and prepared them for burial, as the Realm-Walker for once was getting into the physical side of it, digging out holes with the Nerevarine and Brynjolf. Ayisha gave a little prayer as I created makeshift tombstones out of planks of wood, inscribing each of their names with great pain.

The entire ordeal was agony with the long row of graves alongside them.

I prayed Karliah found peace with Nocturnal before deaths end...that her soul would find itself in the Evergloam, alongside Gallus before it was closed off again.

"The age of thievery is at it's wits end." The Nerevarine commented, sitting by Karliah's grave.

"Not even Azura would have predicted this."

Brynjolf held me close. I forgot how closer to the guild he was than I and that I sensed that while in his grasp that he was barely containing his own frustrations. I held onto him harder, to make sure I was still there. I had promised I wouldn't die. Even if the favour presented itself again. I'd forget by I knew Bryn wouldn't. I know he wanted me there to know...to make sure that his own two feet were on the ground.

Ayisha continued her prayers, speaking of her people that when they die, their souls are rescued by Khenarthi and flown to the Sands behind the Stars, the rest of her prayer in the Khajiiti language.

My mind was recalling all the memories of the Guild itself and it made me want to get this done quicker.

"Where do we go now?" He asked.

I sighed. His voice was so...lost...his face churned and his eyes hardened.

"We go to Markarth." The Realm-Walker stated.

"There's a Shrine to Molag Bal there. Petra and I agreed that we really need to..."

"No." Bryn said bluntly.

The Realm-Walker wasn't amused.

"We need a Daedric Prince's direction to the door. Or else-"

"My answer is no." He said again.

I looked up at him.

"Bryn why not?" I asked him.

He held me in tighter.

"Because we're not putting you through that...we've already lost too much to this madman an-"

"Wait, did Papa say madman?" Ayisha asked, butting in.

He looked at her strangely.

"Aye, why?"

She pondered, then looked at the Realm-Walker.

"Solitude has a mad man looking for his master. Looking for his master hidden in the forbidden part of the Blue Palace..." The Khajiit explained.

I don't know why but Ayisha expected the Realm-Walker to know what she was talking about. The white haired woman's face lit up.

"That's actually a brilliant idea. You may not feel comfortable with this, but this one is a little better than Molag Bal." She stated.

Ayisha nodded. I suppose most Princes would be better, I guess.

"Yes. Ayisha knows of Sheggorath the Skooma Cat...known to most as Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Hides in Solitude..."

The Nerevarine rose an eyebrow.

"I wonder if he remembers me..." He questioned.

We looked at the Dunmer.

"You met him Nere?" I asked. Don't ask me when I started to call him that.

"Yes." He said. "Odd guy, but I guess we can get him to talk. If Ayisha says he's in Solitude then we best head back there now to talk with him. If that's okay with you guys."

I think Brynjolf considered that the better alternative than dealing with Molag again, probably afraid I'll turn back into a vampire if he had his way.

"So, we ready to leave this place and get revenge, a soul for each soul taken here?" Brynjolf stated.

I think I admire that the most about Bryn. His tenacity in the face of such trauma is always inspiring. I don't know where gets his strength from.

"Yes. I am. We shall have the power of those left behind in our hearts...I." I said, taking his strength with me.

I can't just put it aside for rage. The sorrow always built up within and always just made me lose control. They didn't deserve this. No...not at all. I'll miss them. I'll miss their little quirks. I never got to see Vex and Delvin's reaction to waking up next to each other, I'll never get to see what was going to happen with Vipir and Sapphire...and...and...I'll never get to see Tonilia's child...Oh gods..

Bryn rubbed my back as I wept. My family. Both my parents...and my surrogates. Gone from me...but I know how much more they meant to Bryn. So I wasn't going to fight for the guild for my sake, but for his. It was the least I could do.

I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. I wanted to look like I was ready for anything because I had to see, that deep down, that Bryn had to be hurting. If I am to be his strength, I had to act like it, no how much it might be killing me inside.

"Don't let me go Bryn." I told him outright.

He gave off a weak smile and squeezed back.

"Thankfully, I won't intend to."

**AN: Annnndd...darker it goes...**

**Chapter 82**  
**Study**

I honestly feel like I have no control over my actions. I am told I am gifted with choice. But's the most difficult choices that I am given and any that I decide to go along with, each of them, have ramifications for the future.

I had hoped that my sacrifice would have it straight, but Brynjolf was not having a bar of it. He was so pissed off that me committing suicide was the stupidest action I could take. I had taken it as the option most open to me and the way that life could move on without me, but...he had said it was the easiest for me to commit to.  
Now that I look at it properly, it indeed was indeed stupid of me to take my own life like that. It was also quite selfish. I forget that Bryn had only justAA lost his mother and I need to be there for him. 

Seeing him angry like that scared me, but I realize that's his anguish finally cracking through. I saw that in his tears. The same tears that were shed when we were on Fellnir. I need to help him. I know I want to save this world but I still need to be a decent damn human being for once and stop thinking this is all about me. This is nothing about destiny, adventures or fate. It's what is front of me, here and now. It's what I can touch, hear, taste and smell and most importantly, what I can see with my own two eyes.

I see Bryn there. Being himself. Being the red-headed bastard I've known him to be but now through all this, he's definitely hurting more than he lets on. I need to be stronger for him and for the world...but how?

My mind's been abused a lot. I'm like in the ocean, with my head barely above the water and my hand reaches out to anyone who could take it and pull me out. There have been others willing to save me, but what would have happened if no one had been there?

My soul was on still fire and it just burned intensely. The voices I heard...weren't my own after all. The urge was screaming at me but it was not my screams.  
I was subconsciously believing that killing myself would fix things.

I am not worthy of my role and as a Nord, that would be seen as the cowardly way out. People look at it and think that it's something that's so heinous and the worst they would call you is a milk-drinker. I'm okay with that...I deserve it.

Everything that was thrown at me resulted in a cavalcade of chaos, my mind jumbled at the contradictions my role has. I am born to defeat Alduin and save the land yet I am born to die so theone timeline of me can succeed? Had I had done something different, would I have lived?

It's difficult to attain to, that's for sure. A line crossed and now we're all paying for it. How you feel that everything will be destroyed in a whirlwind of pure destruction simply because you exist? The Realm-Walker had been wrong to save me and now I'm just a pure messed up girl.

She tells me that I have the power to succeed. Hmph...maybe not in this timeline. Not in this world. She calls me a precious being, then I look at all the crap that's happened to me. How am I destined for this? I feel so sick I wanted to vomit sometimes. STOP IT PETRA YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS!

Brynjolf kept a closer eye on me after that. I am...fearful for his rage if I am to do that again. It's a last resort option I suppose, but he's determined to make sure that what ever I get myself into, that I would come out on top. I didn't want to let him down again.

* * *

 

The four of us had navigated our way to the College of Winterhold, to discover more about this timestream, or the Currents of Time that Paarthurnax seems to enjoy calling. I had the Elder Scroll still strapped to my back. My mind was in limbo between broken and the facade that I forced myself under.

I am wary to the timestream being broken, I feel every crack and wound, that I cannot see or even know their exact locations. The price of having a Dragon soul has it's negative side, so now I was hurting mentally and spiritually. Physically? Well that's yet to happen again just yet.

We let the Altmer at the gate know we just need access to the library and that we meant the College no harm and that Enthir could vouch for us as...uh, fellow mages. She was wary but let us through, warning us of Urag's policy on books in his Arcaeneum.

Venturing inside, The Nerevarine made comment on the College's infrastructure, while Ayisha's presence was met with a whistle, from the Khajiit mage who had been practicing spells outside. She brushed him off with an elegance and poise that I was envious of. I'm proud of her.

I had spoken with the Old Orc in charge, who was sitting behind his bench, on suggestions on what books to read that might relate to the Timestream... he was...welcoming...somewhat.

"Timestream huh? So you're looking into the Seed Theory then?" He asked us.

I nodded. Can't exactly say what we're doing at the moment, or what's going on.

"Yes. We're uh...looking into matters pertaining the dragons as well you know?" I stated.

He grumbled.

"Bah...they're good for study but terrible for our mages. Nords turn their backs on us and when it suits them they come crying to us for help. I'm sorry but that's their own damn problem." He scolded.

I rolled my eyes. I'm kinda glad I didn't pursue magic further.

"They're intertwined with time itself." I explained. "We're doing a bit of research on how to defea-"

"Wait what is that on your back?" He asked all of a sudden.

My eyes darted behind me

"Oh this? Nothing, just paperwork of mine I like to keep stored in there." I lied.

His eyelids dropped, giving me a soft glare.

"Don't play dumb with me. That's an Elder Scroll ain't it? No wonder you wanna look into the Timestream. Look, it's not my business if you wanna partake in some research here, but if you're gonna start messing with time itself, it'll mess with you right back." Urag warned.

The Nerevarine and I exchanged glances. He had to have known.

"So you're aware of all the problems in Skyrim then? Things are where they're not supposed to be, people coming up at random times..." The Dunmer stressed.

He stood up, going to one of the bookshelves and tried to avoid eye contact as shuffled through them.

"Yes we're aware. Most of the reports should be taken with a grain of salt. Probably Skooma increase since the Thieves Guild has gotten back to power recently." The orc continued.

I rose an eyebrow as I looked at Brynjolf who shrugged. How in Oblivion did he come to that conclusion?

"So nothing in Winterhold has come up as suspicious or weird lately?" I questioned.

He sighed.

"If we investigated every dragon sighting or what ever, we'd be out of our resources when it's most likely tricks of illusion. The real matter to investigate is the source itself. So you're here to Investigate the Timestream, a matter of the Seed Theory that was once written down by a old Dragon Priest. Who had been there to find it." He said.

I crossed my arms. That wouldn't surprise me.

"I'm aware of it as well. It has connections to a place known as the Laaglein, or the Dream World, so I have heard." I told him.

Urag nodded.

"Exactly. The Laaglein is famous for confusing a lot of people and their dreams. The Currents of Time is a huge matter for the dragons." He stated."...ahh here we go..."

He took out a huge brown book, dusty and crusty enough to be considered ancient.

"It's written in the Dragon language. Hope you can read it. And for the sake of Julianos, try not to mess it up" He told us.

He sat it down around a table as he had left the book open for Ayisha to read. She skimmed through it, searching for anything that might be remotely useful.

"The Currents of Time flow through the Timestream, seen to me as on top of a misty mountain. My Master had instructed me to visit there to get as much information from it as possible. I was there for a few months, delegating experiments. What happens if you decide to go into the Stream? I had thrown an apple in there, only for it to pop out aged and withered. It shows that it has random ties to time itself. I threw another in there, only for the seed to fall out. It had proven my theory correct that I decided to call this the Seed Theory after the first experiments I had. I had poured many items in there and it was called at very random. Some were placed within and did not come out for hours, days even weeks in different states. I started throwing the same items in there that I had already placed inside it, and some of them went back to themselves and others transformed completely. It was a fascination that I could not fathom to describe."

Random huh...doesn't describe much about choices though.

"It goes on to say how, 'While inanimate objects were being altered, I wanted to test a sentient, to see how they would come out of the Stream. I had kidnapped a few of the slaves to test the theories that were in place. A young man that I pushed in and came out years old detailed the experiences that he had witnessed. He said, he had been to another world, dark and filled with fire and ice. His family was long gone but there were no dragons in sight. An age without dragons? A future or a past? He was there for years and stated that he had his potential freedoms and married and had children, but then had to leave after his family was murdered by mer clad in black suits. Curious. Very Curious.

Next was an old woman who had come back but a skeleton with a note attached stating Alduin was dead. Dead? Hmm...it's considered heretical to speak of but the slave woman had written it over and over..."

I rose an eyebrow. So these people had entered the stream and ended up at another Era.

"Does it say why any of them were compelled to go back like that?" I asked her.

Ayisha placed a finger on the text and scrolled along.

"Says he'd placed a spell that would force them to find their way home again within the five year period." She confirmed.

The Nerevarine lifted his chin.

"How would they do that though?" He wondered.

I rubbed my chin.

"The Laaglein is designed for your mind to be transported there. It appears the Priest had gotten there physically...which suggests there may be a portal to the Laaglein without having to sleep on it." I theorized.

"The Laaglein is unstable. One could get lost." Ayisha stated with worry.

"Does it say it anywhere?" Brynjolf wondered.

Ayisha tried her hardest to find any relating texts.

"Ayisha can only see references to a Master...Alduin?" She guessed.

I rolled my eyes and scratched my nose.

"Come on...so you need a dragon to enter?" I said with spite.

Ayisha's brows furrowed as she continued to scroll across, trying hard to figure it out.

"No...going into it, mentions Hermaeus Mora. Daedric Prince of Fate and Knowledge. Ayisha reads that the Priest was allied with him as he had taught him that he was one who could speak the language the dragons and use their power against them." She read out.

Wait a minute. I looked at Brynjolf with those suspicious words.

"You think...that this was written by the first Dragonborn? The one who who killed Zoklotinhaar?" I said, making the connections.

He nodded.

"Aye, That looks to be the case." Bryn answered. "So he was studying it for himself and his master. It's obvious he wasn't serving Alduin anymore and allied himself with the Daedra who told him what he was. Its starting to make sense."

I eyed him, trying to see and sense if Zoklot wanted to say anything. There wasn't even a fragment of a dark aura felt in the air. I tried to figure out more, until Brynjolf splayed a red book with the gold binding on the table. It looked familiar.

"I'd almost forgotten I had this. Even if it doesn't have all the answers, it may allow us to find out more about this Dragon Priest." Brynjolf stated.

Of course! The family tree! However, we didn't know anyone who read daedric at this stage. Maybe Nocturnal could help...or...

"Ayisha sees the books author is Miraak..." Ayisha revealed.

Interesting.

"Okay good we've got a name then. Miraak. Bryn, does the priest in you have anything to add?" I askef.

Brynjolf shook his head. You'd think he'd interrupt.

"No. Nothing at all. I suspected he would have known but otherwise never have told me about it. I'd rather not trust him lately either. I'm wary of his silence and I feel he could pop out at any time." Bryn cautioned.

Poor Bryn. He has to put up with so much. Most of it was my fault.

"If this points out all the Dragon Priests, it might just have this one you call traitor to Alduin's reign within. But...would this orc know Daedric?" The Nerevarine suggested, pulling his hair behind his ears.

"No he doesn't." Urag shouted from afar.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't speak about him in earshot will you?" I told the dunmer.

The Nerevarine smirked.

"We'll find somebody. If he didn't describe the location of where he went physically, I do have one theory. Back during the Tribunal era, Sotha Sil was said to have gone through something called the Dreaming Cave to speak with the Daedric Princes, a gate way to any realm of Oblivion you wanted. So how the story goes. Sotha Sil was a weird fellow which I refuse to talk about. Anyway, there were only two places that I would heard you could access them. One was from the Isle of Artaeum. I highly doubt the mages there would give you free reign to the realm. I also heard, quite bizarrely, that there was one in Coldharbour." He revealed.

I had a cold sweat wash over me from head to toe. All I could think about is Mercer. No...not this again.

"So we go the Isle?" I suggested, out of the blue.

The Nerevarine shook his head.

"I'm afraid that'd be impossible. I'd wager with what was going on with time that they'd be focused on trying to repair it. They're a lot more attuned to the forces of magic than anyone else." He said.

Next thing we saw was Urag come into the conversation.

"Don't mind me butting in here, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on your little discussions here. You want to go the Dreaming Caverns from Artaeum, forget about it. Artaeum is lost and unpredictable. Plus, the Laaglein is an Aedric realm, not a Daedric one. Although I wouldn't be surprised if you could access there though. The Dreaming Cave is also known to be the Door to the Heavens. If you believe that sort of thing. I also wouldn't be surprised if there was a door on each realm to get there. Best bet, is to find a door in another realm if you know where it's located." The Orc suggested.

That nearly went over my head.

"Ah yeah...sure. Thanks Urag." I said.

He grumbled once more.

"Yeah yeah...just...be careful when you're out there.."

We had some ideas, some good, some bad and others outlandish. We'd visit the Soul Cairn, knowing where the portal was, but...as the Nerevarine had told us, the Ideal Masters aren't considered princes. As planes of Oblivion are either considered infinite, or closest to, we weren't going to find this damn door without help.

We decided that we would need to speak with Nocturnal directly, our closest source that may be able to let us know where the door was. Gods know what would happen when we got there, but it was better than knowing I would still have to die for the world to mend itself. Brynjolf would just get pissed at me again.

* * *

We exited the College with new intentions, only to see a familiar Altmer on the bridge near us, coming back into the College grounds. Thalmor gear and a face that I had seen back at the Temple of the Divines...

"Ancano..." I whispered.

He stood there and smirked at us. Gods I wanted to slit his throat.

"Greetings! Oh I was just coming back from a meeting. I'm glad to see you're alive and well, Dragonborn. Prolg sends his regards." He spoke to us with that smug tone of his.

Brynjolf was going to lose it.

"You killed my mother elf. I'll cut your throat open!" He roared, unsheathing his blade.

My eyes widened. He read my mind, but worried me with his anger.

"Oh Brynjolf, son of Prolg. A shame you're part of a dwindling breed. But look where we are. In the middle of a bridge over looking the sea of ghosts. You battle me here and you may end up down there. Your choice." The Altmer taunted.

Brynjolf growled. He was eager for vengeance. I don't blame him. I would be too.

"Nemetona didn't have a choice did she? You killed her using that Elder Scroll. I saw it with my own eyes."

Ancano's grin just got creepier.

"Oh did we now?" He said. "So it's possibly not the best thing I've ever done. No, I've already done that. And have been rewarded for it too... see?"

He pulled out a necklace, made of some dark material and the pendant was in the shape of a dragon's head in Alduin's like, with two rubies for eyes.

"This is the Amulet of Alduin. He's been very generous to those who have pleased him. Giving us all the gift of the voice. Just like the Dragonborn here..."

My stomach dropped. How in...since when was that a thing? I call bullshit right there. Honestly...

I shook my head as the Nerevarine was deep in thought.

"So the Dragon had given you the gift? Hmm..." He murmured. I believe he's in the same mindset, hesitant to believe.

"Petra is the real Dragonborn here." Brynjolf said cooly.

Ancano chuckled. I was really more annoyed that that was even possible.

"Yes she is. You're lucky I'm not going to kill you all today. Cannot risk her death just yet. Although your friends in the Guild...perhaps Nocturnal never favored them." He said in a mysterious way.

What?

"What nonsense are you speaking of Elf?" Bryn roared.

"We had a tip of where your friends were hiding. Wasn't difficult when you approach the right people with the right pressure. We just needed the key, so we forced the Guild Master out of her hidey hole and with swift action, had the course of dragons singe them just right."

My heart was beating fast. No...no no no no..Karliah...Delvin...Vex...no...everyone..

I looked over the edge...I still had a chance if...

Brynjolf grabbed my hand and refused to let me go. He said nothing but knew what I was going to do. I forgot I had to promise him I wasn't going to die. I grasped his hand back and nodded. I have to keep fighting no matter what.

"So, Dragonborn, you have the freedom to come with us. Because you know, we have the same goal in mind and I have been doing the same research into the the Dreaming Cave and it's link to the Laaglein and by extension, the Timestream..." Ancano continued. So he'd be walking the same path too.

I started to shake. No...this cannot be happening it...

"Why is it that you want her anyway? Is it because of the Elder Scroll? Or because of the fact she's spiritually unique?" The Nerevarine asked. He seemed so calm in the face of danger and possible despair if what he said was true.

Ancano crossed his arms.

"That is none of your concern Dunmer. It matters that she is important to us and our pla-"

* * *

I opened my eyes. Again, lost in the void I had come to get acquainted with so often.

Again, left trailing around in the darkness that once protected me. I hadn't done anything yet, this feels like I was being displaced once more. Where in Oblivion was the Realm-Walker.

"Oh Gods Petra, goodness..."

Right on time.

I glared at her.

"Is this time being a dick again?" I said with scorn. In fact, I wasn't happy with her at the moment.

She nodded. Although she didn't look too happy either.

"Yes. Yes...definitely. Damn, I was listening to Ancano's conversation and suddenly boom, you're back here again dwelling in the void. No, listen to me Petra. Do not go back to Nightingale Hall."

She said with haste. I'd never seen her so...worrysome before. She was...almost panicking.

"Why not?" I wondered. "Is what he is saying true?"

She bit her lip and looked down. My heart was breaking for the thousandth time.

"There was another ambush. A traitor to the cause that was sent out to kill everyone. Don't know who the traitor is. Can't be Mercer, he's dead. Nocturnal has cut off ties and locked the Ebonmere on her own will. The key is still in place I sense...but..."

I looked at her sternly.

"What?"

She sighed.

"They're all dead Petra. Everyone's dead."

I fell over in a swift motion, only for the Realm-Walker to catch me.

"Petra listen to me. I know that killing yourself sounds like a great option at this stage but like Brynjolf said, you can't die. No...not now. You need to get to the Timestream as soon as possible."  She urged.

I failed the Guild...just because they were linked to me. It's...

"This is your fault you know." I told her with heavy dread. By extension with my inheld rage, I punched her in the face, forcing her to nearly topple over and let go of me. I was feeling sluggish, slouching over with my near inability to stand.

"Take me to the Hall." I told her. My voice was low, creating the barely thin line containing the rest of the fire within me.

The Realm-Walker stood back up and wiped the blood off her nose. So's shes not all high and mighty. Mortal, like the rest of us.

"Petra, I know its' difficult to understand but..."

" _ **TAKE ME BAAAAAAACK.**_.." I roared with unleashed hatred and sorrow, before my knees gave way and I was forced to sit down, I leaned over and sobbed.

The Realm-Walker looked despondent as she approached me, towering over me. How could anyone let this happen? I didn't want to look at her stupid face. She's caused all this pain. She needs to listen to me.

"Okay. I'll send you back. Do what you need to do. My suggestion is, and I know you hate me enough already, but you almost forget, while you have lost your ties with Nocturnal, there are a variety of princes you can seek out. You have the Mace of Molag Bal with you?" She asked me.

I looked up. I'd almost forgot about it. But, the weapon is tied to me somehow, although I put it away in the chest back in the hall and wanted nothing to do it with, it reappeared in my hand, surprisingly. I threw it to the ground in disgust.

"Which means you still serve Molag himself." She said with a monotone.

If Molag was watching, he'd know I was weak for sure. Why would he still want me to be his champion? It made no sense.

"You saying I'd have to go to Coldharbour to find the door?" I asked her with disbelief and strain.

She nodded.

"Molag still knows your real strength. I'm aware of what you did to Mercer. It happens. It's an inevitable price to pay for betrayal." She said.

I looked down, I don't even know anymore.

"Yet, I'm still being torn down from pieces of my past..." I told her.

She knelt down beside me.

"I haven't lied to you this far Petra. I did this out of curiosity and all I discovered was that it not just made it worse but it brought you nothing but pain and misery. I'm still working hard to figure out anything at all, maybe loopholes in the system who knows? We will get you out of this alive and I swear it." She told me with determination.

I looked up at her, my face drenched in despair.

"Do you know of anything this painful..." I asked her, my voice croaky.

She nodded.

"I have lost a lot in response to what I had to gain. I have lost friends and family, like you. You say like the rest of us that will become accustomed to the sadness. But when you feel like you could have saved them, it's the overbearing guilt and shame that...yes, they could have been saved if you would have done anything. But you're not there. Mentally and physically. I have known those, others falling down the same path as you and have come out still in the dark, but know they're holding a torch to find their way. That's what you need. A torch, a guide to lead you out of the void." She explained thoroughly. It made sense.

She stood back up and gave me her hand.

"You are stuck in the ocean of despair, head barely above the water with your hand reaching for what ever could take it. Take mine Petra."

I gulped. I wanted to trust her, but...if she would lead me down the wrong again, I didn't know what I would do. I caught hold of her hand, as she dragged me up to my feet.

"You're right. Definitely. It's not fair for you to put up with any of this. I aim to aid you as much as I can to get back at what can be done to rectify. Please don't lose your humanity along the way. Hold on to it as much as you can. You're not a monster Petra. You are a loving daughter of Skyrim and would do anything to make it whole again. I aim to make your intentions swift and true." She told me. I had seen a tear roll down her eye.

I nodded firmly and grasped her hand.

"So you'll take me to the hall?" I had to ask again.

"Yes. I'll come and help myself."  She said. "The others are looking for you. Ancano had left them alone for now, not wanting to cause a scene. I'll try and get Chell to transplant them back to the Hall to assist you. Be warned, what you're about to see is..gruesome. Think you can take it?"

I gulped. My heart was already heavy. Don't know how heavier it could get.

But the others...why would I want to put them through it? Brynjolf needed closure as well.

"Take us then. Take us back to the Hall. Then we'll talk about returning to Coldharbour." I demanded.

* * *

In a flash, I felt myself drop outside the old standing stone with the scent of smoke and flesh filling the air. I saw the others being ported here as well. Unaware of what had just happened. Brynjolf took one look at me and ran over.

"Petra...you had us worried there for a – Gods.." He trailed off after he'd held on to my arms, his grip weakening as he whiffed the air.

"He was r...no..."

We ran inside, seeing the whole hall covered in ash and burnt up corpses. I stayed close to Bryn and wept into his chest as we made the slow walk around the hall. Gods...why?

"You have my deepest sympathies." The Nerevarine stated.

Ayisha walked up to us and rubbed my arm.

"Ayisha is currently in deep sorrow. Guild is family..."

She and the Nerevarine helped take the bodies and aligned them in the main area with the intention to bury them. I pulled myself together and looked over them. They were burnt but I tried to recognize the faces. We found Karliah in the main chamber, her body lying on the ground alongside a sword. She'd battled bravely...

The Realm-Walker soon walked in after and examined the chamber with saddest expression.

"Dragon's Fire is deadly. Alduin had allowed them to shout. None of them stood a chance." She commented, wandering with her hands behind her back.

Vekel and Tonilia were at the Nocturnal's Shade, his little bar, their bodies next to one another with their daggers. As we took Karliah's corpse back, I noticed a note on the floor, lightly singed.

I unfolded it and read it's contents. I put my hand on over my mouth and weeped.

"Lass...what is it?" Bryn asked.

I...no...this is the cruelest of cruel things they've ever done. They have to pay...the note contained details regarding Tonilia's pregnancy...none of us even knew she was. She was keeping it a secret.

We rounded up the bodies we had found and identified and prepared them for burial, as the Realm-Walker for once was getting into the physical side of it, digging out holes with the Nerevarine and Brynjolf. Ayisha gave a little prayer as I created makeshift tombstones out of planks of wood, inscribing each of their names with great pain.

The entire ordeal was agony with the long row of graves alongside them.

I prayed Karliah found peace with Nocturnal before deaths end...that her soul would find itself in the Evergloam, alongside Gallus before it was closed off again.

"The age of thievery is at it's wits end." The Nerevarine commented, sitting by Karliah's grave.

"Not even Azura would have predicted this."

Brynjolf held me close. I forgot how closer to the guild he was than I and that I sensed that while in his grasp that he was barely containing his own frustrations. I held onto him harder, to make sure I was still there. I had promised I wouldn't die. Even if the favour presented itself again. I'd forget by I knew Bryn wouldn't. I know he wanted me there to know...to make sure that his own two feet were on the ground.

Ayisha continued her prayers, speaking of her people that when they die, their souls are rescued by Khenarthi and flown to the Sands behind the Stars, the rest of her prayer in the Khajiiti language.

My mind was recalling all the memories of the Guild itself and it made me want to get this done quicker.

"Where do we go now?" He asked.

I sighed. His voice was so...lost...his face churned and his eyes hardened.

"We go to Markarth." The Realm-Walker stated.

"There's a Shrine to Molag Bal there. Petra and I agreed that we really need to..."

"No." Bryn said bluntly.

The Realm-Walker wasn't amused.

"We need a Daedric Prince's direction to the door. Or else-"

"My answer is no." He said again.

I looked up at him.

"Bryn why not?" I asked him.

He held me in tighter.

"Because we're not putting you through that...we've already lost too much to this madman an-"

"Wait, did Papa say madman?" Ayisha asked, butting in.

He looked at her strangely.

"Aye, why?"

She pondered, then looked at the Realm-Walker.

"Solitude has a mad man looking for his master. Looking for his master hidden in the forbidden part of the Blue Palace..." The Khajiit explained.

I don't know why but Ayisha expected the Realm-Walker to know what she was talking about. The white haired woman's face lit up.

"That's actually a brilliant idea. You may not feel comfortable with this, but this one is a little better than Molag Bal." She stated.

Ayisha nodded. I suppose most Princes would be better, I guess.

"Yes. Ayisha knows of Sheggorath the Skooma Cat...known to most as Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Hides in Solitude..."

The Nerevarine rose an eyebrow.

"I wonder if he remembers me..." He questioned.

We looked at the Dunmer.

"You met him Nere?" I asked. Don't ask me when I started to call him that.

"Yes." He said. "Odd guy, but I guess we can get him to talk. If Ayisha says he's in Solitude then we best head back there now to talk with him. If that's okay with you guys."

I think Brynjolf considered that the better alternative than dealing with Molag again, probably afraid I'll turn back into a vampire if he had his way.

"So, we ready to leave this place and get revenge, a soul for each soul taken here?" Brynjolf stated.

I think I admire that the most about Bryn. His tenacity in the face of such trauma is always inspiring. I don't know where gets his strength from.

"Yes. I am. We shall have the power of those left behind in our hearts...I." I said, taking his strength with me.

I can't just put it aside for rage. The sorrow always built up within and always just made me lose control. They didn't deserve this. No...not at all. I'll miss them. I'll miss their little quirks. I never got to see Vex and Delvin's reaction to waking up next to each other, I'll never get to see what was going to happen with Vipir and Sapphire...and...and...I'll never get to see Tonilia's child...Oh gods..

Bryn rubbed my back as I wept. My family. Both my parents...and my surrogates. Gone from me...but I know how much more they meant to Bryn. So I wasn't going to fight for the guild for my sake, but for his. It was the least I could do.

I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. I wanted to look like I was ready for anything because I had to see, that deep down, that Bryn had to be hurting. If I am to be his strength, I had to act like it, no how much it might be killing me inside.

"Don't let me go Bryn." I told him outright.

He gave off a weak smile and squeezed back.

"Thankfully, I won't intend to."


	83. Champions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf feels awful about what happened, but the strengths that others have will help him through, as he also has a one on one with the Realm-Walker.

We're down to our last breaths. I know it. Petra knows it. Those who get caught in the storm die in it's wake. You actively defy or fly, the results are the same.

These are the same people I had drunk with, went on joint heists with, laughed with, argued with for many years. The same rabble that had lost faith and had it regained. Those who I had mentored and those who had mentored me. Those skilled and swift, those who had been in the game long enough to talk to right people and never cross paths with those who hold leverage. We knew the risks but we made the right choices to actively ensure that the sanctity of the guild was left in tact.

It was gone.

All gone.

Shor be damned that Prolg thought he'd get away with this.

I have to push on for Petra's sake... I'm in ripe agony but I have to use what's left of my own to carry on. We have to. I have to remind Petra of her promise, but I see it in her eyes that she's willing to risk it. I'd told the Nerevarine and Ayisha of this, and I don't even think the Realm-Walker has to be told of the consequences.

We're left to fend for ourselves, the scars cutting deeper than anything we'd ever faced. Petra was forever left hanging on a thread, her mind wandering off constantly, her face pale and expression blank. Maybe it is the Septim blood in me, that wants me to guide her. Or it may even be my love. It's not enough. I'll need to dig deeper on that, to find out ways I can convince her. Part of me is beginning to understand the type of anxiety that catches her off guard. It must be the pit in ones stomach that's heavier than hunger. I just can't stop thinking about the Guild, you know. The challenges that Petra faces are now becoming my own.

If you could ask me why, with Petra in the very storm they'd created for her, leaving her caught in the rain, lost in the wet with no where to go. It's because it's not supposed to be like this and she knows it. If given the chance, she will take the option that will ultimately force her to control her own fate and do what's best for everyone.

* * *

Ayisha suggested heading back to Sky Haven Temple and regroup with Delphine and Esbern, letting them know of the Guild's fate. It was an idea I didn't even have, but it was the only place we knew we could hide until we could figure out what to do next. Petra herself could barely stand, but...surprisingly, she wanted to. I could tell she was trying so hard and was forcing herself to get on her own two feet. The Nerevarine describes it as better than not moving it all. But the five of us made it there unscathed, wary to any Thalmor or Imperial patrols that may be on the lookout.

"Gods what in the world just happened? You're all a mess." Said Delphine. What a welcome.

I spoke for Petra. She wasn't in the best mood to talk.

"We need to sit down and talk. Circumstances have changed." I said bluntly.

We wanted to help Petra sit down, but she insisted on doing it herself, much to Delphine's dismay and Esberns confusion. I had intended to speak, but...

"The Thalmor...and the Cult of Slaughter...they...destroyed the guild." Petra spoke. I stand corrected on what I said. I was impressed she was attempting not to be brought down by the pain she was wielding.

"They also have specific amulet's relating to shouts."

Esbern rose his eyebrows.

"What? So they can use the thu'um? This keeps getting worse and worse." He said.

"Not to mention ridiculous." Delphine conferred.

We had discussed the situation and brought them up to speed on past events. They were genuinely surprised at the Nerevarine's appearance as well as Ayisha herself. The Realm-Walker explained that we needed all the help we could at this stage or risk time itself collapsing with notice.

"So time itself is due to die. If Alduin does not destroy it first." Esbern relayed.

"Either way, we lose. Unless Petra does something about it." Delphine continued.

"Mama is in no state to continue. Mama.." Ayisha spoke, sitting next to the lass and comforting her with a blanket.

"It's...it's fine." Petra croaked. She shivered and huddled itself, with black rings underneath her eyes. She'd been in such trauma beyond belief. Yet she says she's fine with it. Facade's weren't fooling me, but...if she pretends to have that confidence then she might just believe it. I know that all too well.

Delphine paced around the room. I don't think either of them knew it was going to get this bad.

"This doesn't make any sense. Why would time die just because she exists?" The Breton Blade wondered.

No one knew how to answer that. The Realm-Walker, who sat furthest from us with her feet on the table, refused to say anything. You'd think she'd have the answer...

" _You are like all the others. Trying to distort their fate. The others had a living too yet they were meant to die, so the right choice could live. That is how the structure of time works. I am forced to interfere because you are breaking it continuously by simply existing."_

A echoes of words untold had entered my mind as Petra stared blankly with widened eyes at the table. Was that you, Priest? Are you messing with me too?

"The Regkosot..the Woman in White. Told me that I was destined to die so that time would go on again without failure. I have had my real fate changed. Because one is due for success and I was doomed from the start." Petra said coldly.

Esbern furrowed his brow. He appeared to also be aware of the individual, it seemed.

"The Regkosot..." He muttered.

Delphine looked at him strangely.

"Esbern what is it?"

He crossed his arms and rubbed his chin

"It's funny you should mention it. I have had dreams in the past, relegating to the Woman in White in question." He said.

Ayisha nodded. Glad people could make sense of it.

"She is the Avatar Messenger of the Guardian, that who protects the Tree of Choices." The Khajiit said, recalling what Paarthurnax told us.

Esbern's face lit up. He definitely knew something. And Delphine wanted him to spit it out.

"Of course. I presume you all have seen the words of Sotrahkun splashed about, especially you Petra." He pointed out.

That name again.

"Well, yeah." Petra replied weakly.

Esbern pulled out another book.

"I think it's strange that reports of this, White Dragon of the Feather's name has been written down in odd places. Nerevarine, you've seen this back in Morrowind?" Esbern asked.

The Dunmer bowed his head.

"Yes. It's what drew me here in the first place. I was in Akavir myself with Ayisha investigating some ruins." He replied.

Esbern flapped through more pages. I really hope we were getting somewhere. It might help us before we go jumping in some Princes' realm.

"The messages have been reporting by major figures in the past. What's strange, that by this book that I have, was written by a Scholar, who had been studying Heroes and Champions of the ages. This Scholar was a blade hunting down old lore. And in fact had been the Archivist before me. He noted down how odd that the name, written in Dragon Language had been written in random places, only for it to be seen by well known figures within the past few eras."

This Sotrahkun really want's to get the word out. But for what reason?

"Mama and Nerevarine are the major heroes of this time line." Ayisha pointed out. I had no doubt of that. The Nerevarine was already considered a major figure, and Petra's legend had only just begun.

"Was there anyone else?" I asked. I'd rather not have anyone extra involved, but we're short on allies right now.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil." Realm-Walker butted in from her end of the table.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil?" Petra said with confusion.

"I heard he disappeared a while back. While he helped save the province from Mehrunes Dagon with Martin Septim, legend has he vanished."

The Realm-Walker smirked. She obviously knew more than what she was letting on.

"Come on lass don't hold back on us." I told her, a bit annoyed with her secrecy.

"Esbern, I was the one who gave you that book. Go further in, towards the topic of the Oblivion Crisis. Tell them, how the Champion was once a member of the Blades." She revealed.

The old man kept on searching for more throughout that forsaken book of his. I never would think the Realm-Walker herself to be all there herself. I am...wary of her, but we're short of allies and those who can aid us in these desperate times. I wouldn't go against her, either.

"Says here, while the word of an mysterious island had caught the eye of the blades member, who at the time was married, had several children, previously reports of strange letters appearing in his main chamber. Many thought he'd gone mad, including his own wife. He'd gone on a journey, and never returned." Esbern read.

The Neverarine contemplated.

"Given what happened during the Oblivion Crisis, I wouldn't be surprised if it had anything to do with remaining Oblivion Gates that had yet to be closed. So said the reports." He stated.

Petra rubbed her head, pretty confused by the whole thing. I patted her shoulder, to make sure she was still there. Her head up was up at least, attempting to look at people.

"So you expect us to find the Champion? What was he...an Imperial? It's been two hundred years after that, wouldn't he be dead?" She questioned. Valid point, unless he was a mage that achieved in lengthening his life span.

"Most likely. He was with the Fighters Guild, and a short stint with the Thieves Guild before retiring with the Blades. Up until that little incident at least." Esbern revealed.

Figures. Most heroes are kleptomaniacs after all. Somehow compelled to find the greatest treasure. Maybe that was why he left.

"So, what's that got to do with anything? How does that help us?" Delphine asked the Realm-Walker.

The white-haired lass started flipping a septim in her hand.

"I'd studied the Champion myself. In many forms. Each different to the last. We had discussed the matters about accessing the Timestream via something called the Dreaming Cave, said to access all realms of Oblivion, and perhaps the realms connected to Aetherius as well. There was, perhaps a trip to Coldharbour discussed but Brynjolf couldn't stand the thought of Petra going there again." She explained.

Great. All eyes on me. Sigh, better explain myself.

"I don't want her going back there. She's had enough of what ever nonsense went on there some time ago. It's a Guild issue and while I know it won't be easy, we have to try. Molag is a dangerous character and I don't think we should trust him." I stated. All I could think about was Mercer.

The Nerevarine rolled his eyes at me.

"Yes because trusting a Daedra is always a great idea." He said sarcastically.

The Realm-Walker had the worst smug on her face. Keeper of many secrets that one. It always pains me. I really believe she thinks this whole ordeal is a game to play. I do wish she'd take this more seriously.

"Ayisha, you said Sheogorath was hiding in Solitude." The mystic continued.

The Khajiit nodded.

"Ayisha did Realm-Walker. His aura can be felt at the Blue Palace." She said.

Shor's bones, really? They spoke of this so casually it was startling. So we were really going to go through with interacting with the Daedric Prince of Madness? I still had no idea what she was playing at though. She better know what she was doing. I wouldn't mess with any Daedra if I were her. Even if she was some sort of...demigod or what ever.

"Then we go to the Blue Palace." Petra mentioned calmly, without any pinch of hesitation.

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You sure Petra? Do you need to rest?" I asked her.

I didn't want her to make any decision she may end up regretting later. She's still up to take risks, it seems. I can't tell if thats a good or bad thing.

"We can't pace this Bryn. At any moment we can be displaced. Time is not on our side, especially when it's breaking. It's not unlike what Thieves do well...we break into properties." She told me.

Good to see her having a...positive attitude. Her heart was shattered and in the process of quickly mending itself. She's getting better at it, but in time she may become numb to it. Then there's the thought if that's a good thing or a bad thing as well.

"So you're going into Imperial and Thalmor territory?" Delphine questioned, as if questioning our own sanity by going where the enemy laid it's head.

"We have to speak to a man first. I'll go on ahead and speak with the contact I have there. Rest easy a few hours, then meet me at the alternate entrance to the city. We all know where that is don't we? Come on, I would expect you to know!" The Realm-Walker announced, standing up from where she was.

I rolled my eyes. Its hard to be cheerful.

"Yes lass we know. We also know Erikur, so if we having any problems, speak with him. He's our insider contact." I told her.

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"Ah good good. Then I know this will work. Don't worry, I have a plan."

She disappeared in the whisk of her magics and vanished without a trace, while the rest of us were left in temple wondering what she had planned.

* * *

Delphine told us to rest in the quarters and get something to eat. We sat down at the table in front of the fire, embracing it's true warmth.

"Do you honestly believe Sotrahkun would be contacting Champions in the past about this?" Petra asked the Nerevarine.

The Elf shrugged. In a way that it depends what defines a Champion to begin with.

"This dragon sounds exceedingly powerful, sending messages like this across. But, if she's sending them across time itself, it makes me wonder how far her power extends. It's got to do with Akatosh I'm sure. They don't call him the Dragon God of Time for nothing." He stated

Ayisha nodded. I had the same feeling in thinking this mystery dragon had its own set of abilities.

"Alkosh to us is the Dragon King of Cats. Some legends say, he speaks with the moons, Jone and Jode very rarely, to send messages to his worshipers." She stated.

Petra looked at her. It was easy to tell Ayisha held the same enthusiasm for lore surrounding her people like her younger self did.

"Do you believe that?" She asked her.

Ayisha re-plaited her hair.

"The expectations and reality of the Gods themselves contrast with your normal Alessian flavor. Khajiit experience and perceive the way the Gods work differently. The Empire may have forced it's hand in the past, and the Aldmeri Dominion is still out on it's way to stomp heresy where it lies, most Khajiit fail to care."

I crossed my arms. The lack of caring sometimes gets people killed though.

"Do your people still consider you special in the future?" I wondered.

Ayisha looked down in sadness.

"Ayisha has tried to lead her people in the dark future that she comes from. Elsweyr lies in ruins like all the rest. A Mane is not as revered to men as it is to Khajiit. Ayisha held respect and used Mama and Papa's example to lead a rebellion in this war. Ayisha tried to wean them off Skooma, but other say it is heresy. Ayisha has prayed Papa. Ayisha has prayed and hoped." She replied.

Even if we saved time, the world would end up in ashes if we did nothing about it. I didn't want to put pressure on Petra, but...I still feel she has it within her to defeat Alduin despite her situation.

* * *

We parted ways for the moment, waiting for the next few hours to pass so that we may have time to sort ourselves out. Ayisha went to go meditate out in the courtyard while the Nerevarine spoke with Delphine and Esbern. Petra wanted to sleep, as I put her to rest. I'd join her sooner or later, as soon as she drifted off the sleep, the Realm-Walker entered, I sat beside Petra, stroking her cheek. She'd done what she needed to do in Solitude, it was the matter of ensuring everyone gained enough strength. Especially Petra.

"I've studied her condition." She told me.

She preferred to observe Petra from a distance. She had to have known.

"Depression alongside Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She's suffered the latter for a very long time. As for the former...going from previous events. It was inevitable."

And yet she did nothing about it?

"How does that help us?" I asked, being honest.

The Realm-Walker then sat on the other side of the bed as she looked at Petra who'd fallen on her side and went into a fetal position. Her favourite.

"In some realms, people study the status of the mind, knowing mental illness can be as forthcoming and harmful as any physical illness. People seek treatment, others are left untreated...unaware that there's an unusual quirk about themselves." She answered.

"Depression left unchecked does often have a few telltale signs before some sufferers decide to treat themselves on a more permanent and irreversible treatment. It causes us to lie to others, to pretend everything's okay when its not, even trying to convince others of the fact, attempts at humor and so forth."

I felt horrible. I must have seen it progress over time. If I had checked it earlier, I could have prevented her from resorting to such a decision.

"I'm in a love hate relationship with the nordic lifestyle." She continued.

"It's a general rule of thumb where you're either seen as a true nord or a milk-drinker pretender. For the most part, it's widely accepted. For the minority however, some prefer drastically different lifestyles. Some may say a Breton way of living may be better."

That much is true.

"But you've seen Petra from all angles, more so than most. She hates being like this. I can tell. The pain can be too much to endure."

It made me think about the true reason about why the Realm-Walker had bothered to help us out at all. Surely, we deserved to know the truth. Even if I didn't like it, I'd rather go in knowing the Realm-Walker's intentions than being left in the dark.

"Lass." I started.

"Tell me why you're doing this?"

She had a still, emotionless expression, as if expecting such a question to be asked in the first place. A matter of when, not if. She stood up and had her back to me, with her arms around her back in fists.

"I know you're a good man Bryn." She said.

"There's so few people I can trust with the knowledge."

We barely knew a thing about her. I know she's saved Petra's life and I'm eternally grateful for that. But if we're going into this, I had to understand her motives.

"Reality is so much more than what you perceive it to be. My goals here...well, I know there are outsider forces causing this. Throughout the majority of the time lines I've seen, this one has signs of meddling." She stated.

Maybe this was more complex than I had originally imagined.

"I had traced the source to this place. Petra herself, while I love her to bits, has evidence of tampering. Many things obscure to you are easier for me to see Bryn. But the damage that's been done extends far beyond Petra."

I wonder if that means it's never been Petra herself. I hope the Realm-Walker is right.

"I suspect even Alduin is but a pawn as much as Prolg or the Thalmor are. A being that's pulling the strings from afar. Someone with the ability to change events in time."

It took me a moment to even make the connection.

"Someone like you?" I suggested.

The Realm-Walker turned her head half way to look at me and had a grin on her face. Nothing large, just a subtle smile.

"Was it that obvious?" She said.

"My studies of the place have given me precedence of this...powerful individual that prefers to cause chaos. I'm not talking about Daedra either."

It was giving me a headache just thinking about the implications. I'm just a thief. I'm not meant for this nonsense.

"But that's not for you worry about." She continued as she paced around the room.

"I'm learning a lot from the experiences so far. But I will be helping Petra anyway I deem that I can, my other secrets notwithstanding. I mean, well, nothing relevant to this realm anyway."

There she goes, not being serious again.

"For example, this Sotrahkun fascinates me to no end. I really am eager to meet this Dragon. For all my power, they seem to have the ability to not lot anyone see them if they don't want you too."

Which reminded me...

"What about the Regkosot? What is that woman really?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker rubbed her chin.

"The Avatar Messenger? Truth be told I'm not sure. Whether it's the voice or front of Sotrahkun, I deem it unusual to take the form of a mortal. But the book I gave Esbern indicates that it can mimic individuals spirits. Namely, a Dragonborns or maybe a particular hero. She may be even the one who's been writing down the messages, I'm not certain. She's a very...estranged person."

In other words, she has no idea.

"I don't like it that it suggested Petra kill herself." I said outright.

"For someone in her mental state, that's a horrible thing to say."

The Realm-Walker sighed and sat back on the bed as she continued to observe Petra, who must have been a deeper sleep as she scrunched her eyes. For what ever I could do to know what she was dreaming about. But it made me think of matters for some weird reason I could relay to the Realm-Walker about. Some concerns I had on my mind.

"I just want to be able to convince her, but I feel my words aren't powerful enough sometimes. I tried to get her to stop the first time but I failed. Is my love not strong enough?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker smiled warmly.

"Your love is sufficient enough for her to cling on to." She explained.

"But for Petra to win, she needs to learn to love herself. She adores you. There is no doubt. She's died for you. Reached out to you and me. To those she trusts dearly. Part of dealing with depression is the constant battle with self-hatred. There will be and have been skirmishes both won and lost. But the war is neither. You've done everything you can for her so far. If you truly love her, understand it's not a matter than can be broken overnight. You just need to find ways to help her understand her own confidence within herself. To allow her not be afraid of her so called Dragonself. So the way she will get better is the constant support. Which I'm still happy to provide otherwise."

Even if I am a Septim, at the end of the day, I'm still a mortal being who desires a normal, mortal life.

"I praise that lass." I said.

"I am prepared to do what's necessary."

She grinned.

"As a Champion is, for his Goddess." She said to me.

"Someone who can keep her grounded and reminded of the timebound flesh around her. But...ensure that you look after yourself as well, alright? I'll have my talk with Petra...again."

* * *

The Realm-Walker left me with a lot to think about. She confirmed everything was ready for tomorrow and left me with Petra to comfort.

I like the sound of being a Champion, although I prefer the terminology of being a Dragon King to his Dragon Queen. But for now, I will remain as her...hero. Weird thing for me to call myself aye?

I held her close to me as she rested her head on my chest, content to listen to my heart beat. We were showing our wear and tear as the world continue to mount against us. I sincerely was grateful for her to be here with me, with just having her here still made me feel that everything was alright, even if we were stuck in a huge pile of muck with no way out.

I wondered if she felt comfortable going in another plane of Oblivion. I'd read up on this so called Daedric Prince of Madness and was curious why she'd brought that up in conversation regarding the Champion of Cyrodiil. I felt her stir briefly, as she opened her eyes and smiled at me, pecking me on the lips as she felt the need to talk. It eventually turned back to the conversation regarding the Champion.

"Were you taught much about him?" I asked Petra, who was half asleep.

"Yeah. An Imperial who helped close the Oblivion Gates and some other stuff." She answered, half-groggy.

"Aye. So did the Realm-Walker tell you why that was relevant? Did you know the blades in Cyrodiil?" I continued, curious.

The war was hard on that old clan, it seemed.

"The war with the Aldmeri Dominion had struck Cloud Ruler Temple, so a lot of documents were lost I suppose." She theorized.

Ah their constant meddling never fails to annoy.

"So, what were you parents doing at the time?" I queried.

She shuffled herself about to find a comfortable position.

"Mother and father lived in Skyrim originally, they moved back to Cyrodiil after the war was over, proclaiming peace and all that nonsense." She replied.

Yet there's always that sense of unease.

"Aye, a load of crap if you ask me. How are...how are you feeling?" I queried. I still thought about the Realm-Walkers words

She sighed through her nose and looked at me with those beaten eyes of hers. A world with those light blue bulbs of hers. There was a small amount of her spirit that was making a recovery. Which made me glad.

"I...I think I might be okay. Not...not sure. I know this has happened a lot Bryn and you could do bett-"

I pressed my finger against her lips, and pressed my own on her forehead.

"Lass, if I didn't want you I'd tell you. I know what you're thinking and you think you're weak. You're just being piled with a mess that you don't know how to clean because you don't have the right equipment." I said.

She snorted. I rose an eyebrow.

"What? Why's that funny?"

She did that little lip-bite that was just. Cute. Saying that word sometimes send a shiver up my spine.

"You and your terrible metaphors make me smile." She stated.

I grinned. Any smile, genuine and warming, was always a win. 

"I could do a lot worse you know."

She shook her head and hugged me tight.

"What you could do is shut up and hold me." She balked.

I chuckled and tightened my grip more.

"Aye lass."

Thankfully, I think, we'll make it somehow.


	84. Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Co. head to Solitude to find a certain Madgod.

 

It takes a lot to believe. At the beginning I thought, that if the world left me alone, that my life would just pass me by peacefully, like watching the clouds drift across the sky in the brisk wind.

I don't ask for much. I get what needs to be done. That's all.

I wonder if back then I had known it had gone this far, where life trembles before you. I had learned to care about those around me in the short time I'd been here. These reckless bunch of assholes and thieves are some of the best people I ever met. I think my parents would have never approved of these bad influences but I have learned a lot about others, about myself and about the world that continued to provide for me.

I wasn't caring about my own future. I was caring about the present. The way I felt and the way I treated others with disdain and a fueled hatred for everything, even if they didn't cause me harm. I was just, and still am, vulnerable. The Gods had chosen me to take down the black-winged menace because I am now certain, they knew what I was going to become.

The Nerevarine was in the same boat. No pun intended. A prisoner by accident yet fate had drawn him to become a hero of his age, that we might feel we're in the wrong place in the wrong time when it's quite the opposite.

His adventures were legendary and I still do not feel worthy in his presence. The way he takes himself into a considerably calm state no matter the situation because in his eyes I can tell he's seen a lot more than just what ever real life threw at him. The experiences numbed him slightly, and though he's immortal, it's not without it's own downsides. I'd come that conclusion that there's always a catch. He'd outlast us...all of us, within a blink of an eye what he says is true.

* * *

We'd gone back to Solitude in the midst of the night, infiltrating through the secret entrance and navigated our way across the walls to head towards the Blue Palace. I still don't know what Sheogorath has to do with anything. Ayisha describes him a mad cat in her peoples mythologies. I'm inclined to believe, albeit minus the cat part.

The four of us looked out for the Realm-Walker. She'd been hiding in the corner, not far from the entrance to the Blue Palace. We avoided guards and kept an eye on the patterns. She rose a finger to her lips and smiled.

"The guards are everywhere and in hot patrol. however, given the situation, we need to a key to unlock the Pelagius Wing. " She whispered.

"I've spoken with my contact. Petra, I want you to have this..."

She handed me something, like look like a bone or what ever. I looked at her strangely.

"Tuck that away. You'll need that once you're inside." She announced.

I put it away, but was weirded out by it.

"So what do we do? I don't think killing the guards is going to be such a good idea. Plus the five of us heading in might be a problem." Brynjolf mentioned.

Late at night, with some suspicious looking people sneaking into the Palace unannounced...of course this is cause for alarm. Ayisha and the Nerevarine can use their Illusion spells, but as Brynjolf and I were no longer in tandem with Nocturnal, we were lost as to what we could do. The shadows may protect us, but it'd be difficult to...

Wait...

I had an idea.

"Guys, I could distract the guards out the front. I have a shout I could use." I told them.

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"Ah I think I know which one you're on about. Good. That will give us a small window for us to enter through. However, once inside, there are more guards in there. You're looking to go to the door on the right hand side. But, you'll need a key to get in. There are several people who possess the key to the Pelagius Wing and if it's any consolation they should be asleep. Brynjolf, I want you to do that." She explained. Somehow I wasn't surprised she knew.

Brynjolf agreed with a brief nod.

"Aye, but, what about the guards? Sticking to the shadow's is hard when you have damned lamps all over the place." He warned.

The Realm-Walker pondered.

"The three people you can find are Falk Firebeard. Which, I don't recommend trying to pickpocket, there's also the two servants. Una and Erdi. Head to the left side, and go to the Staff Quarters. You can't miss either of them. Do what you can to get the key from either of them. Without getting caught of course." She said.

Knowing Bryn, that wouldn't be too difficult.

"Aye, I'll try make my way through as much as I can. Don't worry too much about me." He said with a grin.

The woman seemed pleased.

"Great. Now, Petra, you help get Bryn inside. Wait in the shadows if you must, be on the look out. The Nerevarine will follow. I believe we'll need yours and Ayisha's expertise. We can't exactly pick the lock on the door. The Wing emanates a strange magic. Instead, I need you two to deal with guards the most non-lethal way you guys can. Nere, I trust you still know a few spells."

I'd wager for a Dunmer like himself would know plenty.

"Oh sera, you know I'm all good with my spells. Have had plenty of time to practice." He boasted, cracking his knuckles.

I wish I had his confidence too.

"Then make sure none of them get in the way. Once Bryn gets the key, all of you take point, as he opens the door. Once it's open, all of you get in. Got that?"

The plan seemed solid enough, but actually, despite all the crap and my heart still aches to what had happened previously, to me, it was...fun. It sounded fun and it would definitely temporarily put my mind at ease. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to, but I usually do this stuff all the time, and I know I am good at it.

We went down to the entrance, avoiding guards as we went. We were well enough to stick to the shadows as we got towards the door, seeing the two guards there. I sensed a bit of...strangeness in this rich city, albeit, perhaps it's the possibly hostilities that warranted us. I really hope none of us gets killed for this.

I waited for a moment, before using my Throw Voice shout in the opposite direction.

"Hey Slug Breath!" It echoed. Much like a cicada in that matter.

"Huh? Who said that?"

I smirked. Ahh joyous. Stupidity. The two of them investigated the strange noises. Heh...yeah. I helped the others inside as we enacted our plan. I watched Bryn go to the left hand side of the Palace, with the intent to grab the key. Ayisha and the Nerevarine took positions on each side, staying hidden as we waited for Bryn.

We kept watch of the guards patrolling, with one constantly wandering past the door to the right. Damn it. Why did he have to do that?

Ayisha had this weird, familiar grin on her face. I think, she had an idea in what she intended to do...and before I knew it, her lips were chanting something fierce. At first, nothing really happened. The next, I could see the guard himself walking in the other direction, adverse the usual walking pattern he set for himself. I tiltled my head. Is this some weird cat magic going on here? I found it fascinating. He'd walked up the steps without as so much as a strange kick in his stride, but otherwise he had disappeared completely. What in Akatosh's name has she been doing all these years? I mean, what did she do between now and then? Gah...tense is so confusing.

Brynjolf soon came out, observing the patterns of the other guard, curious as to what the other was doing. He'd gone up to investigate, giving Bryn the opportunity to sneak by unseen.

We all hunched up to the door and watched him unlock it. No sooner than later, we had got in.

The Pelagius Wing was rundown with furniture flipped and cobwebs all over the place, and the stench of it was rather stale and dusty, with bits of crockery just left lying around. The Nerevarine had cast a detect life spell, and told us that none else was in here. We had a look around the place, moving bits around to see what we were actually trying to find.

"So what are we looking for, actually?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker dropped in out of nowhere.

"The portal is in this Wing somewhere. It's not going to be obvious, but once you find it, we'll all know." She revealed in her usual cryptic manner.

Brynjolf rose an eyebrow as he wandered over to a book shelf.

"What are you on about lass?" He asked. I think Bryn had enough of her mischievous words. He hated mystics, from memory.

The Realm-Walker grinned.

"You'll see."

She faded away, leaving us puzzled as to what she had said. We continued our search, for what ever stood out to us or what ever was deemed suspicious enough to tell us any clues.

I sighed and started looking upstairs. This was nonsense. We were chasing Daedra for goodness sake. What any sane person goes looking for Daedra?

All I saw was a bar that could use some TLC and stools and even more cobwebs. Marvelous. There were some bottles of what ever lying around that I would never ever consider touching. Even if it was wine. I sighed. What have I gotten myself into?

I saw the hallway...oh good, must be another part of the wing that we could search, though I doubt that we'd have any luck. I walked down and...felt a strange sensation, an odd breeze if you will, before darkness took my sight once more.

* * *

I'd say the weirdest things tend to happen to me a lot. I don't know why I'd even bother being surprised about it anymore. I suppose that it's my own fault for getting into it, given the circumstances that force us to take measures. In all honesty, I'd rather been in Coldharbour, because at least there I'd know what to expect.

Next moment I was outside. Dreary, foggy, though the temperature was moderate. I felt like I was in the mountain filled terrain of the reach or near the marshes in Morthal by the state of the flora, but... I found myself wearing fancy clothes. I don't recall changing myself. What in the name of...

I could see a long table covered with fine food and drink and surrounded by chairs, although one chair was practically a throne, with a middle aged man wearing red and purple clothes, chuckling along with another man that it was a conversation that made no sense what so ever.

He certainly sounded mad enough, his voice in a constant bounce of joy and anger. And was very loud and not shy about it either. They had a brief argument about something I knew nothing about and the man he was talking with just disappeared. What was going on here?

I approached the man in the chair and asked him where I was.

"How rude! Can't be bothered to host an old friend for a decade or two." He shouted, berating the man who was here before.

I rose an eyebrow.

"Uh...who was he?" I asked. I tried to polite, but I just felt awkward.

 _"_ Emperor Pelagius III. Now surely even you know about Pelagius' decree? On his deathbed - oh, and this was inspired - he forbade... death! That's right! Death! Outlawed!" The madman replied.

I looked around more. I was still trying to figure out where I was.

"Aww poor lost little lamb...if you're wondering where in this senseless world that we're in, that I have to remind you that you're inside the mind of Pelagius, mortal...hmm must be...your first time?"

What?

I crossed my arms and looked at him with skepticism. Pelagius had been dead for years. Unless.

"No matter. You see, it's only senseless when there is sense. Because when there is, the world is on it's own two feet. Those little feet that keep running and running until it gets tired. Can't have that though. World needs to run, or else it'll get fat, old and die. No fun there."

I rubbed my head. His words...although, not puzzling his aura was troubling me. His eyes were filled with chaotic energies that matched the dubious grin on his face.

"Are you..." I stuttered.

He nodded and bowed.

"Yes I am Sheogorath. Also known as Ann Marie, but do you really want me to use your entrails as skipping rope? But yes. I am the Daedric Prince of Madness. Pleased to meet you Petra."

My eyes widened. What in the...

"Wait, you know me?"

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my skull with his fist.

"Hah, know you? I've been watching you. I like you. Your episodes in Tamriel are my favorite shows to watch. I specifically like the bit where you kill dragons. That little fire in you turns you insane. And best of all it saves your life! A little madness goes a long way." He said as he let me go, leaving to retie my ponytail.

Oh Gods...really?

"Then...do you know why I am here?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

He stood back and rubbed his chin.

"Oh lemme guess. You're here because...you're here to deliver a truckload of bones for my special sweetroll recipe? No...no...you're here to juggle swords, then swallow them whole. I heard it's a sharp act hahaha...hm...no, how about-" He said, before being interrupted.

"Enough of the jokes Daedra...you know exactly why she is here." Said the Realm-Walker as she summoned herself into the realm.

Sheogorath wasn't exactly pleased with that.

"Hey I like playing the guessing game. It lightens the mood. Or it moods the light. Here it's dark but light enough." He said.

The Realm-Walker rolled her eyes and looked at me, who just had no idea what was going on.

"He means twilight." She mentioned.

Ah...I see.

"It's nice to see more people in the act, the both of you...Dragon Queens...tell me, can I have your next clutch of eggs? I'd liked to have some dragons flying around the isles." He mentioned.

Dragon...Queens.

"I told you my son is off limits." The Realm-Walker scolded.

Wait what?

"Awww you're no fun. Can I keep this one then? I like this Queen better...you're just too mean and not wanting me to have my pets." Sheogorath pleaded.

Oh Gods...

"No. She's here to speak to you about something. Regarding the entrance to the Laaglein?" She pointed out.

Sheogorath smiled.

"Oh the Laaglein. The Line with the lag. It's very slow. Don't know why you'd have any interest in it. Though I have been there from time to time. It's an inspiration for my duties you know."

I rubbed my neck.

"I don't doubt that. Anyway, like she said, we need physical access. Are you able to tell us with the entrance to your world's Dreaming Cave is, it's very imperative that we access it." I told him, knowing how urgent it was.

Sheogorath pondered for about five minutes, leaving me feeling extremely awkward.

"The Dreaming Cave? Ahh yes yes. Of course, of course.  _Buuuuut_  I need you do to do something for me? Deal?"

I sighed.

"Yes what is it?" I asked, exasperated.

This was getting annoying fast but I put up with it. Sheogorath was a weird fellow, making up tripe that benefited his moniker. Though I am getting peculiar vibes from the Realm-Walker these days...she definitely knows more than what she's letting on.

* * *

Sheogorath made me 'treat' Pelagius, as apparently I was in his mind somehow. I couldn't use anything but some Daedric artefact known as the Wabbajack. I was forced to use it, to down different arcs and utilize it somehow. It took me a while to get the hang of it, as each one approached parts of the deceased emperor's psyche. The Realm-Walker never bothered to help me, leaving me to my own devices...

Perhaps half an hour later I was done, yet left utterly confused on what just happened. And I'd rather not do it again. He let me keep the Wabbajack at least.

"Now will you help me?" I asked him.

He groaned.

"Rude! I have been nothing but hospitable to you Insane Dragon Brain! But, as Pelagius himself, is now sane, I think I can go off holiday...sane vacations get boring you know...but! If you insist, you and I can go back to New Sheoth..."

I looked the Realm-Walker.

"Don't worry about the others I'll handle it. Just go with him and...talk..."

* * *

I was summoned away after that moment, still swamped in those...clothes. I looked around, I was in some sort of...castle? Maybe? A carpet of red and black and different patterns lead up to a throne, that sat against a dead tree with fungi growing on it. Sheogorath sat in his throne, a man who had stood there next to him, was seemingly...discplined? Dunno...strange as well.

"Welcome to my humble abode! Where...we play hopscotch and pour lava down each others pants. Sight to see, you must try it." Sheogorath mentioned.

I put my hands behind my back as I pulled faces, trying not to be rude.

"Uhh...I'll pass." I told him.

He nodded.

"Haskill, get our guest some Snail Oil Tea. Trust me it is not as bad as it sounds. Snails here have the most unique flavours. The slime itself is especially. Divine...or daedric? Bah...it's beyond anything any mortal has ever tasted."

"Right away sir." The bald...man replied turning around and walking off.

Sheogorath looked at me with those...inquisitive eyes of his and smirked.

"Sit mortal sit, I can't stand it when guests are over and their legs are staring me...knees have eyes you know. One arrow to them and you're blind...and inoperable. Snapped knees are another matter. Though I do enjoy the sound they make. I should make a song!" He proclaimed, then clicked his fingers.

Suddenly I found myself forced to sit down on a chair that came out of nowhere. I was stunned at first, but...I got over it.

He suddenly ate an apple, that like the chair, was summoned out of nowhere and bit into it.

"So, you want to talk about the Dreaming Cave? I go there all the time. In fact, I visited Molag last week. Talked about you in particular. Said you were strong, but weak. A paradox...love those."

I nodded.

"I am not proud of what I had done in Coldharbour, if that's what you're speaking of." I told him.

He threw the apple core behind him and adjusted himself.

"No, but nothing is more satisfying than turning them into mashed potatoes with an overdose of sauce. Quite the taste I assure you. Sauce makes everything good. Even sauce!"

I had to get what will I had left for patience with this Prince.

"I can imagine. I wanted to talk to you...I didn't feel comfortable speaking with Molag."

I admitted.

He laughed.

"Yeah he is a funny fellow. I admire his work though he prefers me to stop taking in his worshipers all the time which I am not! No! I can lead people down the golden road but ultimately, it is their choice to turn to madness. Which I would humbly recommend rather that succumb to vampirism. How boring. The sun isn't the worst thing to exist. We all need that burn once in a while."

Haskill came back with a cup of the tea in in a saucer, approaching me with.

"Here you go madam. I let the snail stick itself on the side. It insisted on staying." He told me.

Riiiiight. I took the cup and looked into the green liquid before me and took a sip. I squinted as the taste was rather bitter. Sheogorath cackled.

"It's always the first taste that's the kicker." He mentioned.

It sent a shiver down my spine that's for sure.

"The Snail and his camaraderie release an oil that needs to be tasted twice in order for the greater flavours to be released. Go on...take another sip."

Really...okay..

I looked into. I really didn't want to. The first time was horrible. What made him think this was any better? Second thought, don't answer that.

I took in a deep breath and took a taste, closing my eyes...

Opening them, my vision was clouded in some sort of rainbow hue, then the walls themselves started to melt. Gods...what the...

I couldn't even recall the taste itself that I was memorized on what was going on around me...as the chamber itself actually dissolved into nothing, then ended up having weird flashes and hearing strange noises...laughing that was distorted, a pink sky with blue grass. Images that flashed though my mind. I could see the Regkosot writing a message on a wall in the dragon language that I couldn't understand or fathom. That too dissolved into a message of fire and blood. I could see two imperial men, fighting in some...place in Cyrodiil. One was a man with short brown hair wielding a sword...and...then nothing...

"Sir she's convulsing. You think we should give her a while longer?" Haskill asked.

I heard Sheogorath laugh.

"No...she's waking up. Haha...that gets me every time." He joked.

I got off the floor, not realizing I was foaming at the mouth as I struggled to stand up again.

Sheogorath just made me sit again. I was exhausted.

"Oh good you lived. You had me worried for a second there. Snail Oil is potent as you can see." He informed me.

I wasn't amused.

"Oh come on Petra, have a laugh. Don't worry, it's 're not poisoned. Just...a tad more insane."

I sighed.

"So did I pass what ever test you have for me? Do I get to go the Cave now?" I asked him.

I was running out of patience.

"In time, in time my little powderslime. The Dreaming Cave isn't open for everybody you know, or else we'll go willy-nily for tea. Except not many Daedra are fond cheese either so...you're going to have to wait." He grumbled.

I rolled my eyes, rest my chin on my hands as I held it up via putting my elbows on my knees.

"For how long?" I wondered.

He rubbed his chin.

"Oh...uhh...you have to spend a night here! In the room of peddling pits and spikes! Nice room,warm and nicely lit. Can't stand the dark where I'm trying to see my own feet split. Gets frustrating and mind-grinding." He stated.

I rose an eyebrow. I didn't want to be here anymore than I had to. But I'd rather not piss a Daedra off...again.

"Sounds...great. Uh..."

The Madgod couldn't help but laugh.

"Got ya! Hah mortals are so gullible...they're willing to go up a waterfall if you tell them they become a dragon when they get to the top! Hah...that's just fairy tales. You just turn into a flying carrot. Carnivorous, those carrots..." He said deviously.

I suppose if they're the rules. Unless he's pulling my leg. Again.

"Haskill, show her the quarters. Now Petra, if you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, it's just Mr. Snickers. He's quite the cute kitty who likes sleeping on peoples beds. He's around somewhere, probably grovelling for food. He has a taste for toes you know. Not just anyones toes...he eats elf toes. Something about them just taste sweeter than mans you know?"

I looked at him with defeated eyes. Just take it easy Petra, you'll be fine. Just do as he says.

"Yes, you should find it comfortable enough. And come back to me with when you've grown a spine! There's plenty of pots and dirt in the room for you to grow one in. Niiiiiight!"

Haskill had lead me to one of the bedrooms in the palace. He discussed that I was currently in the realm of the Shivering Isles and that I should be thankful for being here, although he's also thanked me for my patience. Yeah...I should be..

The room that he showed me was simple enough. A room of greystones and a double bed made of burgundy silk and gold rims. Seems royal enough.

"He's fond of you." Haskill told me as I was preparing for sleep.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Snail Oil Tea and a room for the night? While the Madgod himself is hospitable to strangers, he seems to think you're worthy of his time. He won't kill you. While he may not show it, he's just not focused enough to care when in spite of that, he knows more than what he might appear to." He replied.

At least he was sane enough to speak to to get answers.

"So, is this a test or?" I asked him.

Haskill looked away.

"Just rest easy." He said. "I wouldn't think too much of it for now. He'll take care of you."

Got a funny way of showing.

"Thank you Haskill. Not exactly reassuring but thank you." I said, before heading off to sleep.


	85. Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Brynjolf waits for a response from either Petra or the Realm-Walker, he witnesses the antics between the Nerevarine and Ayisha

 

I half expected that to happen. Lass wanders off and then disappears without a trace. We looked all over and called her name. But, no sign of her.

Aye, I'm worried, but it's happening so often I wonder if it's those damn time displacements again, or something a bit more concerning. The Realm-Walker would look after her, I'm sure. I sat down, taking a break, much to the consternation of Ayisha who rose an eyebrow at me and scolded me for stop trying to look for her. I want to panic but it's not going to get me anywhere. For all we know, this may have been part of the Realm-Walkers plan. Until we see her again, we can't confirm or deny anything.

Up until this point, I was still a mixed bag. My heart was still heavy and my mind boggled by recent events. For now, we'll have to wait. I observed the Nerevarine as he wandered around the place. It was fascinating how he was a hero of his time and yet, he staggers around still enjoying the life eternal that he'd been gifted with. I'm trying to figure out what else had to be lost in order to gain immortality because he didn't seem to have much of a negative outcome on his own abilities. He may have chosen not to. I'm not a priest myself.

The Nerevarine searched a wine cabinet, grabbing some kind of really old bottle. Wine...from around fourth era, year 81. By Shor...has that been hiding there for that long or..

The Dunmer sniffed it. Didn't seem repulsive by it. He popped the cork and eyed the liquid down the bottleneck. Was he seriously considering drinking the damn thing?

"Smells nice. No bottle of Sujamma, but it's like me, we get finer with age." He joked sarcastically.

Ayisha wasn't amused. I had a feeling those two had a type of tension between each other, probably not amused by antics that none of us had seen yet. The Nerevarine had been calm and quiet since he got here. But...

"You do not where it has been. It's covered with dust and gods know what." The cat scolded.

There was truth in that.

"It's been here hasn't it? It's remarkably well preserved. I'm far older than it, but you know, it doesn't hurt to take a taste." He said as he winked her while he shook the bottle gently.

I facepalmed.

"Alright if you want to choke on ancient wine then go ahead. Ayisha's not cleaning up your spew." She called out to him.

He reminded me of me...somehow. Adventurous. Devious...the shoulder length hair and beard. All these years to himself. Elves do live considerably longer than men, but he's still relatively youthful. Just dye his hair red and he'd look like me as an elf. I think. He took a whisk, as Ayisha and I shirked.

I watched as his throat bobbled as he guzzled down the liquor. Seriously lad. Wine is supposed to ferment I get that, but...

He slammed the bottle down and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. We were waiting for a reaction.

He looked at us strangely as he finished.

"What?" He asked us.

"Taste alright?" I asked.

There was no real reaction from when he tasted it.

"Yeah it's fine. Needs cheese." He commented. The look on his face was forced as he attempted to look judgmental.

"Wonder if this place has any..."

I am certain he was screwing with us. He then started laughing.

"I'm fine! Honestly. I've had worse. But this isn't a bad tasting drink. You two should try some." He suggested with a slight cheeky grin.

Ayisha grumbled.

"Ayisha does not drink. There are those who worship Sangiin of blood and life, Ayisha does not wish to adhere myself to his men-mer counterparts."

Harsh Ayisha.

"Guys, we're simply gonna be stuck here until Petra comes back." He stated.

"We need a fun way to pass the time."

Gods help me. Last time I got wasted involved playing Petra's game. then I felt a hand on my back that nearly made me jump. I turned to see it was the Realm-Walker, who had a huge grin on her face.

"Nerevarine don't worry we'll take you to a place where there's plenty of cheese for your wining." She said.

Are we all drunk or something? I don't think now is the time for puns.

"Oh good. You know, the houses of Morrowind used to hold parties. Best drinks you'd ever had. Even though Red Mountain erupted, I wouldn't mind going back there. Or even Solstheim for that matter, for old times sake." He commented freely.

I turned her to confront a more serious topic.

"How's Petra?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"She's fine. She's in the Shivering Isles." She announced.

Ayisha seemed genuinely surprised.

"She's visited the realm of the Skooma Cat himself? No wonder why Ayisha felt the strong sense of insanity within these walls. His essence is strong here. " She stated.

Truely? So she's actually in Oblivion? I was just in a state of disbelief. Although, it was what we intended for anyway. Just wasn't sure on the way we'd do in that case

The Realm-Walker prepared us to enter the infamous place. She wondered if he'd welcome them, especially the Nerevarine who'd met him before. The Realm-Walker assured us that Petra was fine and to avoid the Snake Oil Tea. I'm not sure I want to know the reasons behind that suggestion. But Petra was indeed safe which was my main concern.

"You all ready to go?" The Realm-Walker asked us.

We all bowed our heads in sync.

Thankfully the trip there was painless enough...


	86. Mania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra spends some time with everyone's favourite Madgod.

 

I actually slept well that night. My dreams were normal, average and less maddening than most. Still get the blinding light at the end of, but they've developed to a point where it looks like it's the sun that's shining down on my face, and that it was raining feathers. I must be really close by now.

I have a feeling however, while the rest was easy and that my mind was temporarily whisked away to a place that lacked pain, there had to be a definite catch to it all. The room itself looked like it was fit for a king, so say what you want about the Daedric Prince of Madness; you cannot deny that he has style.

Though the room itself, before I fell asleep, it had that, Cyrodiilic design to it. My house back with when I was younger, was filled with Nordic designs, purchased from places in Bruma to make me live like a nord, but I'd visited many places in Cyrodiil, bar the Imperial City, that had their own little aesthetic. I actually think that, the frills and the random panties of some Argonian noble would be something you'd see in the Emperors Palace. I was in the realm of a daedric lord, but it just seemed tasteful and rich. Other paintings included some other imperials, some by themselves in black robes, others just as they are in old armour. I wonder...

The blankets, a nice red, which just...ironically divine. So warm and comfortable. I am definitely not worthy of this treatment. I had to figure out why Sheogorath was so nice to me. Haskill explained that he was fond of me for some reason, perhaps like the madgod had said as well, about my breakdowns amused him greatly, buuuuut I suspect there's more to the story than that. There always was.

I'd woken up, feeling something at the end of the bed. I could see...some random Khajiit on my bed. Orange in colour so definitely not Ayisha. He slept there, like an actual cat. This had to be a fully grown Khajiit as well. I face palmed and kicked the mad cat. He woke up with surprise, his ears flinging upwards. He wore paw print pyjamas and screeched at me and fell off the bed. He then opened the door and ran out of the room.

That...was completely random.

I got out of the bed, finding myself wearing odd...clothes. I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea where all my actual stuff went before disappearing. I was wearing a white long dress with spaghetti straps, wearing an amulet that I'd never seen before. It was...just a pair of white wings on a gold chain and gold arm bands. My hair was done up. I really don't recall any of this. What was going on? Was I still dreaming?

I had a wander around the palace and it's lengthy hallways. It was filled with two sets of guards, the palace apparently split up into two sides. I hardly know much about the Madgod himself, save from what I've seen from him already. There were more paintings of these imperials as well. A family. I wonder what connection they had to this place? He was a mystery, and all of this just seemed. Not mad, just...strange and uncorrelated with much else that I had seen far. Made me think Sheogorath was hiding something.

I wandered into a room, that had a myriad of objects. Armour, weapons and other miscellaneous things lay on pedestals, like some kind of museum. Each had a power to them, an aura like none other. I approached the large, two handed sword. It's energies, nearly overwhelming.

"Like that sword, do you?"

I jumped as Sheogorath spoke over my shoulder. Gods, he nearly scared the soul right of me. I stood back with my hands behind my back.

"It is a nice sword." I commented, a bit unnerved.

He grinned.

"Yes, the two-handed weapon, Sword of Jyggalag. Boring, boring boring fellow, nice...but boring! Parting gift during our last outing. Although, we do need to have tea together again, I haven't seen him in two hundred years! Wow...seems...too long since we've seen one another. So I hid a statue of him in one of the rooms and put a flower crown on his head. Guy like that is begging for colour!...and a bit of tea down his sorry throat." He said in his usually, Sheo way.

II often can agree that a little madness does go a long way,

"Do you often invite other Daedra here like yourself?" I asked him.

He rubbed his chin.

"Only if I find them interesting enough. Hircine and I throw our...uh, our beasts into an arena every so often. Heh...when is he going to learn that strength isn't everything and that subjecting taunts means nothing to me. Uh...Oh that's right. I've played chess with Nocturnal. Except we play them with mortals on a huge chess board. Daedric Chess is...not somethin' for a mortal mind. No...no..."

That, I am not surprised about.

"Who normally wins?" I wondered.

He waved his hand about.

"It's never really about who wins. The mortals lost are claimed by the corresponding prince who take's em down. But, if we have to say...maybe me. By a margin. I'd rather not get a number....but the margin is large enough to fill a few thousand mortals, oh the last time that happened, we nearly overfilled it!" He answered.

I nodded and crossed my arms. My main concern was if he had a literal skeleton...or skeletons, hiding in a nearby closet. It wouldn't surprise. It actually surprised me more than for anything I'd come across that was deemed...unusual, my mind would accept it immediately. Perhaps I was madder than I thought and Sheo knew it.

"Did you often play with that Jyggalag guy?" I was curious. Although he sounded boring, Sheogorath was actually sounding that he'd preferred to hang with that guy. The Prince frowned.

"Sadly no. We never got the chance. It'd be nice though. I feel it would be a tight knit battle of blood and lot's of ectoplasm. Get's the game going real nice. Especially with pie involved, can't have Daedric Chess without pie."

His insanity was...bearable at least. But. I still felt a connection between him and I, both of us known for madness but...his spirit...at least I felt like I wanted to know more. Especially if I had to go through to the Dreaming Cave.

"So what's with this get up anyway? Does it have to do anything with the Cave or..." I wondered, observing the intrinsic patterns. Still looked like something made in Cyrodiil.

He put his hands to his waist.

"Oh the dress. Yes! Can't miss the dress. Made from the silk of the Catercows. Which are found on on another island separate from here. Finest silk! I even use it for napkins, blankets, trampolines..."

I think he just liked to talk to someone who wasn't...well, perhaps someone new. Dunno. Other than sharing madness, why would he want to bother to speak with me? Why did I get the vibe that he enjoyed my company more than I was used to. He walked me around the Palace, telling me tales of his past in such bizarre ways. Like the time he played a prank on Malacath by sending him exploding pigs in order to 'lighten him up'. I found it amusing as I couldn't help but chuckle. I'd be willing to accept it as such, knowing that what I've been through could easily turn one insane, but...despite his usual shindigs and shenanigans and...general loudness as he spoke, he still was quite the gentlemen in himself.

He never once mentioned the Dreaming Cave, avoiding it altogether. I had work to do to fix time but...well...I could hardly get a word in.

* * *

It was until Haskill decided to butt in.

"My lord, that Realm-Walker has come back with some more guests...did you want me to prepare more tea?" He asked.

Finally.

"Nah, I've enough of that prank for now. Must have been those lowlives she mentioned. Friends of yours I believe. Very well, let's speak with them if we must. I wonder if they've got anything worth noting..."

We entered back into the main chamber, as I saw Brynjolf and ran up to him. I'm pretty sure his jaw dropped as he looked me up and down with a huge grin on his face and pleasant expressions from the Nerevarine and Ayisha. Sheogorath took more notice of the Dunmer if anything.

"Hey I remember you! The Dark Elf from Morrowind! Uh...a Champion, what you will. How are things? Still putting gods heads on a pike? You should have gotten a house and then put them up as trophies! Godkiller sounds like a great name for you. Those people stealing away divinity like that. It's just...rude!" Sheogorath mentioned with disgust.

I recall reading about that in stories and words from many a Dunmer.

"Good to see you in the flesh at least instead of a disembodied voice." He commented.

Brynjolf just made sure I was okay. Too paranoid in my mind, so I had to reassure him that I was fine. Meanwhile, the Realm-Walker came in with the Mute and the Elf and confronted the prince out of nowhere.

"Oh you've bought your compatriots to? I think we should have a party! So many guests! Got to make sure we have plenty of the two dozen varieties of cheese we have in storage." He said with glee.

The Realm-Walker shook her head. I'd had a feeling she'd put up with this nonsense before.

"I doubt we have time for that." She said calmly.

Sheogorath sat down in his chair. I just waited for what ever was about to come next.

"Okay okay...I just wanted to have more fun as all. Trust me, the drinks here are fair better than what you'll find in Tamriel. Oh...the mushroom delight is one of the best. You literally grow mushrooms from your ears but the taste is just...mmmm...mushroomy...no, I think they're more earshrooms. Earshrooms are tasty!"

That I really didn't want to know about.

"So, you're here for the Dreaming Cave here are you? Hmm...well, the entrance itself...is on island not too far from here. I've been doing real slow renovations with the place...change is good for you. And pop, an island comes out. Use that. But you're most likely going to find some morons there who just won't leave."

Realm-Walker rose an eyebrow.

"Trouble?" She questioned.

Sheogorath groaned.

"Ugh...you ever see something you hate and you want to poke it at first, then stick spears into it and roast it over an open fire? Then turn it to ash and pour down the throat of your next worst enemy? That's what you'll find there."

Ayisha practically ran towards the Daedra and fell on her knees and clasped her hands together.

"Sheggorath! It is really you!" She called out with a big grin on her face and a glint of excitement in her eyes. Sheogorath...oh yeah. The Skooma Cat. I almost forgot. The Prince smiled at her.

"Ahhh yes another kitty in the midst of prayer. Ayisha, Mane of the Khajiit. You're a bit older than I thought you'd be. I really should get more scratch posts. You are the ''Mane'' Khajiit after all, hahah..."

I tilted my head. She looked at him differently than I did and wondered why that was. Not just the way she worshiped him, as how he patted her on the head, and for some reason, she was purring.

"Khajiit tend to him in another form. In this case, to her, my lord would have the appearance of a Khajiit from their perspective and roughly looks the same. Your version of him in this standard. This is a logic that is applied to the majority of Daedra." Haskill explained. No wonder why they were rubbing faces. It just seemed odd.

"Haha got my scent on you Mane! So all your little kitty friends will get jealous. Though I can't seem to place where I put all the Skooma..."

My eyes widened. We really needed to get back on topic. It just...may take a while.

"Sheogorath, the time has come. Are you going to allow us to go to this Dreaming Cave or not?" The Realm-Walker asked, becoming impatient.

He stood up straight as Ayisha stood by him in awe. Silly girl. She hasn't aged.

"My, aren't we impatient? If you must know I'm still preparing the boat! Be patient. These take... a while to produce...any faster then you'd have something cheap and unreliable as a pink jollywog. Little stupid landfish things that grow by shores. Only been around for the last hundred years. Feisty and make for a good stew." Sheogorath commented, his mouth almost watering at the mention of it.

"What about Chell, my servant? She has the ability to transport others...or is there something you're not telling us?" The Hair-of-Clouds woman discussed. It would have been a practical choice...unless Sheogorath had a valid reason not to.

The madgod rolled his eyes.

"Pffff you mortals and your insistence on homegrown spells. Here, laws are done differently. So you either take the boat, or you can swim there and risk being bitten by the sharks. They're out for blood...and then they spit up your corpse and throw it into a pile. That pile was pretty big last time I saw it."

I sighed.

"How much longer though? This is urgent!" I told him.

I've pushed buttons with Daedra before but Sheo was the most unpredictable.

"Relax relax...we'll let you know when it's ready. Just...sit tight...or sit loose, what ever floats your tentacles. Wait, that was Mora..."

So he'd done a few 'renovations' with this place. Huh...I wandered around for a bit and found a balcony that looks over Mania, the brighter, fun part of this realm. It definitely had that particular essence to it. The whole damn isle looked like something out of a story book that could scarcely describe the obscurity of the place. I wouldn't live here though. But the atmosphere, it definitely had a look in common with Cyrodiil architecture I'm sure. Sheogoraths personal taste changes maybe? It fitted his description well enough though. He just might be fond of it. The Realm-Walker and the others wandered off and observed the Palace and ended up going to town to have a look around. I was willing to wait until Sheogorath could confirm the boat was finished. When ever that would be.

I rested my arms on the fence and waited until this so called boat thing was finished. Brynjolf stood next to me soon after, as we pondered on what was going on.

"We really have gotten ourselves into this mess, haven't we Bryn?" I wondered.

"I mean, look at us, talking with madness."

Bryn lifted his chin.

"Aye lass, he'd like to think us that. He has treated you well hasn't he?" He asked me, being the overprotective boyfriend.

I nodded. Unusually so....especially how uh...hospitable he's being.

"I'm okay. He's been charming so far. His insanity isn't that bad. You get used to it." I explained.

He looked at me strangely again.

"So what's with the get up? Was he planning to marry you or something?" He joked.

I never figured that out either. He never said anything about it either.

"What? No no...I woke up like this. With a fully grown Khajiit sleeping at the end of my bed." I told him. I was expecting him to just...make that face of his.

"I'm not going to bother with finding out why. Anyway, I wonder what this boat thing is that he's planning for us to use. If the Dreaming Cave is on this island, then we have the ticket to finally getting this resolved. Have you thought or prepared yourself for more of the unknown lass?" He asked me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I clasped my hand on his, needing a bit of his comfort.

"I've thought about and what it could be. We've been to the Laaglein sleeping but awake? I'm cautious." I told him.

He agreed.

"Be cautious with everything. We're going deep into a territory that's unstable. At least that's how the story goes." He said.

We talked about a few things while we stood there. About Ayisha's worship of the prince and the Nerevarine's familiarity about stuff from his time and now. I was glad he was here, I was worried I was going to be stuck in the Isles until the Realm-Walker said otherwise. Now I don't mind the prince too much...only irritating when delays are involved for no good reason. But it was wise not to argue. I'd like to keep my life intact...

Thank you.


	87. Dementia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of Haskill and the Nerevarine, Brynjolf finds out some peculiar info about the Madgod and Petra herself.

 

It was...odd for a realm of Oblivion, but you have to expect the odd predicaments that we find ourselves in our not often by choice but by some random necessity. If we were regular mortals and not those gobbled up by an unjust system written by those on a higher power than us, we could be in a worse of scenario then we were in now.

The Daedric Prince of Madness...I had been told of his...antics. His wiles, breadth and width. A creature who's consistencies are that he defies logic because he can and he likes it. No wonder he took a liking to Petra straight away. I'm very cautious on that standing, and I hoped she was too.

The Nerevarine and I discussed the notions of being in this very realm and it's very history. The guards that wandered around the place, which was divided into separate states, even in this very building, of Mania and Dementia. The aesthetic of the place supports that down to the tiniest detail. What ever fits the Prince's desire I suppose.

Now were waiting for this boat to get built...who knows who long that was going to take, but it was obvious that we could afford to investigate the realm of madgod and possibly his servants. The Palace was huge and subject to the odd sight here and there. It grabs your eye occasionally, like a sculpture with dozens of eyes on a dead tree, or the geometrical patterns that meant nothing. I'm not an artist and I don't care for meaning of artwork. It might be worth a bit though. We've stolen art in the past, being told by Delvin that certain works are long sought after and could easily reach into the thousands of septims worth then we obviously find value in it, and send it off the client once we'd gotten it.

Aye, I do want that simple life again. I aim for, and I don't know if we can but I'll try, is to just live out my days with Petra. The Guild's gone and I do miss the others dearly. It's fascinating how we all believe we'd come from a place built on not caring for others and only for ourselves. We follow the rules and make each other rich, that's the only reason to care about anyone.

Thieving is still fun and open to me. It's always seen as a challenge brought on by rebellion, brought on by all the overwhelming lessons of Talos, that lead me down to the path that I had refused to divulge myself on. Now that I had seen the real reason for them, I'm more thankful that I left on instinct, then to go down a darkened path of pure deception and the situation would have ended up far worse otherwise.

We're not dead yet, so that's a point proven already. I'm hoping to live longer. I find it ironic that we've ended up dealing with Gods and Daedra anyway and that's the inevitable track of life that I of course, could never end up avoiding. I'm hanging with chosen ones and I am simply a descendant of one. Don't know if that actually counts, since I am a one born from the blood of the darkness that once threatened to pervert the world in it's blight.

I am myself am a mixed concoction of light and shadow, but fate has yet to lead me down either of them. Whether this was intended I cannot say. Petra herself finds herself down that road. A Nightingale yet, her blood is of the same light and fire that Talos once was. A divined blessing, and a curse that we both bare. I simply wish for her to know she is not alone in the path she treads and that I am right by her side.

And when I spoke to her, she seemed...unsure still, but...she's always been like that. She looked stunning in the get up she had and I had thought it was just Sheogorath being...what ever he was in general, and I just wanted to brush it off. But...like I have always been, I've had strange feelings about it since we got here.

She had gone with Ayisha to see the sights and sounds of what this place had to offer, since the Madgod hadn't said anymore about the ship itself. We were running of time, literally and I really wanted it to be done. I wanted to see the ship myself but, guards would block me when I'd ask and tell me to 'wait'.

I had sat down on a marble bench in the gardens nearby, with a huge tree and mushrooms growing everywhere. I took out the Amulet of Mara and thumbed the pendant. I still wanted to propose...I should have done it ages ago. Maybe back in Nightingale Hall...then everyone would have been there. Most of them, I'd think.

I don't want her to fade away from me. But her life isn't getting any easier. It's like, everyone just wants to use her and make her life much more difficult.

"Oh, I had a feeling about you two." Said the Nerevarine as he sat with me.

"So that's the Amulet of Mara..."

I nodded. No sense hiding it.

"You put this around your neck, to make yourself known that you're available for marriage. You make an agreement, obviously proposing to the one you care about. They accept, you go the Temple to get married. Simple as that." I explained.

The Nerevarine nodded. I wondered he was fair for a pretty lass or lad.

"That's if they accept of course. You gonna do it?" He asked me.

I'd been a fool for delaying it for so long. But she's been through so much...I don't want to burden her. It's been on my mind for a long, long time and with the worlds against us, I fear if I hesitate any longer it will be too late.

"When this is all over. I'll try. But, my concern is what classifies in the terms of saying it's over. Why do I get this cold feeling that what we're aiming towards isn't necessarily going to be the best result we're looking for?" I wondered with worry.

He fumbled with his hands.

"Sometimes that just happens. You go in with the best of your ability and if it turns out to be largely want you want in the end, and if it ends up doing what you originally planned then it's a success. Sacrifices that you've made won't be forgotten, however it ultimately depends on what you've lost in order to gain a better answer or conclusion." He stated.

Maybe it was me being paranoid over the lost bouts of conclusion and despair.

"I'd lost a lot already lad. The Guild's burnt to the ground and I'm partially to blame. If only Prolg didn't force our hands and only if we killed him the amount of times we've had the chance. But we always hesitate or our hearts filled with such rage that we're rendered immobile." I said.

He sat back.

"It's not your fault Brynjolf. You are not responsible for the actions and choices of other people who decide to make these conscious decisions. There are occasions where I could have chosen differently but...there will always be things unforeseeable that we just can't mend. It's never your fault when that happens. Because you never knew it would." He explained.

I rubbed my head. My heart, my head and my gut were filled with bitter regret. I want to tell myself that I had made the best decision back then. But...

"You took on responsibility for her back then didn't you?" He questioned.

I lifted my head. She was an Asset. Nothing more.

"Aye. Because she was lost and confused. It was in my power to help her out because at first that she would have been perfect for what we needed. The Guild was in dire places and we had to do what ever we could to scrap coin together." I admitted.

Going back to that day in the marketplace, the sad, lost little girl with the light blue eyes who eventually took not only my heart but my spirit. I feel like I had caused all the problems in her life so far. It's only now that given we couldn't do much at this stage and wait, that all the thoughts started to seep back in my head and cause me pain and much self-hatred.

"I'm not attentively up to date. Ayisha only told me so much about you two. Saying you were the ones who had saved her life from the Cult of Slaughter. I'd heard of them briefly in Morrowind some years ago. Specifically Solstheim in order to protect their work there. What ever work as there at some stage. Very powerful and very secretive." He stated.

I frowned. He had to know more.

"So I gather Ayisha would have told you...more about me..."

He combed his hair back with his fingers.

"To an extent. A dark soul that lies within you. And the blood you wield lies the traces of Talos himself. I'd met Barenziah myself. Pleasant if not weird. Should have known she would have kept the child amongst the rumours I heard of her rendezvous with Tiber during those early years. So that makes you more legitimate to be Emperor than Titus himself. Have you ever considered taking that to the Council?" He asked.

I rose an eyebrow and shook my head. I really didn't want to. I don't want to begin to place the meaning of that to even consider taking the role. Too much...just...too much. But Ayisha herself was quick to inform of him of our situation far greater than most would. I guess she trusted him with the information. He is what he is after all, and would hold more knowledge than anyone else would realize. If Ayisha trusted him, then I could.

"I hold no desire to lead. I can't stand politics. I will help out with what you need when you need it, but to negotiate with milk-drinkers for me is to get as much coin out of them as possible. But then you wouldn't exactly be favored with the public if you went in that direction and it would best lead you to be assassinated. Besides, I am a descendant of a mistake. When was the last time a mistake did anything good..." I commented.

"Martin Septim was the illegitimate child of Uriel and another woman. Safe to say that he himself was a fortunate mistake." Nere pointed.

We looked up at the clad-in-black Haskill who stood before us with his hands behind his back.

"Don't mind me eavesdropping on your conversation here." He said, in his usual, monotone way. "Brynjolf, you role itself has been observed by our Lords as well as Petra's. Yours is part equally of interest with reasons why. Follow me."

Didn't know what the bald lad was playing at, as the Nerevarine and I were travelled across the palace into one of the many locked rooms that were forbidden to any of us...obviously.

The room he'd taken us in was akin to old books, like a library and the scent of the lavender flowers in pots on the round tables, that sat above the the red carpet with gold patterns. This room seemed ancient yet warm and cosy.

"Our lord has watched time itself pass by while keeping an eye on those he deems necessary for the future. He won't admit it of course. He has his role to play, while he keeps everything else locked away due to the fact that he was once in your path over two hundred years ago." Haskill explained, leading us to a red book, that looked akin to the ancient bloodlines of the Dragon Priests.

"So Sheogorath himself was an adventurer?" The Nerevarine queried.

Haskill bowed his head.

"Not many remember the Greymarch nowadays. It has been a while since the old Sheogorath departed, becoming the Daedric Prince of Order and leaving the realm in the hands of his once-mortal champion." He revealed.

The Nerevarine and I looked at each other.

"Wait, they can do that?" The Elf spoke with surprise.

Haskill flicked through a few more pages, not missing a beat.

"Like I said, it's often forgotten nowadays, even by our lord. I aim to keep history known through writing. He doesn't appreciate it as much, but he does care about the situation more than you might think." Haskill continued.

He must have been referring to what was happening with time splintering into itself, causing havoc in the known realms. I found it interesting otherwise.

"So the Prince was mortal...huh...I've seen crazier." I commented.

Haskill eyed me with...I don't if it was scorn or displeasure.

"He's been busy tending to other duties that he no longer was tracking what was left of his family in Cyrodiil." Haskill revealed.

Okay...did not see that happening either.

"So let me guess this straight. So the madgod was mortal, which I am guessing this family was from his mortal life. I've read records of the Oblivion Crisis itself, but none of this." I noted.

Haskill nodded.

"Because no one else knew. We kept to ourselves. It's not like you can brag it about to everyone. We're well aware of those who have nothing but hate for us. It's understandable. Sheogorath's mortal developed into the shoes of his predecessor and his mind warped to take the once empty void to confirm the transfer. Life didn't change that much in the Isles, but during his early years he demanded renovations to make sure that, he didn't lose what he once was." Haskill continued.

Must have been something in the realm that demanded some one to take it's place. I'm just guessing here but it had to be like that...

"Is there any part of him left?" I wondered. There must have been a reason why he was treating Petra like a princess. Normally you wouldn't complain but it's gotta be out of the ordinary for him besides the factors that wouldn't mean a lot.

"I'd been tracking down the lineage from the mortal. Who'd saved Kvatch, closed the original Oblivion Gates and saved Cyrodiil from Mehrunes Dagon." He stated.

Wait, no...it couldn't be.

"The irony. The one who put away a Daedra only to become one himself." The Nerevarine pointed out. He did speak the truth there.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil...is Sheogorath?" I asked, stunned.

Haskill nodded.

"It's a long, boring story that I'd rather not go into detail with." He said "Let's just say that it involved a lot of planning, expectations and surprises on the journey. I was there to witness it. And now come two hundred years and history looks to repeat itself."

I tilted my head.

"Again? Wait, so...this Greymarch you speak of...?" I spoke, confused.

The man shook his head.

"No. Our lord was once friends with Martin Septim, the primary saviour of Cyrodiil. Sacrificed his life to send Dagon back to Oblivion, alongside the Champion who had assisted him throughout the Campaign." Haskill continued.

I often heard the stories of the Thalmor claiming they did it. I was glad to see that their stories were nothing but tripe. They deserved to sent a realm of Oblivion...to rot.

"So we know that story now. So, he was a Septim too. What's that got to do with Petra though? I fail to see how those are linked." The Dunmer wondered, taking the words out of my mouth.

Haskill looked deep into his book.

"Sheogoraths family lived at Cloud Ruler Temple...I kept an eye personally on them, kept many records and their families that went down the line. Up until the Great War that massacred the Blades and to those whom had lived, went back to Skyrim for a while, up until one stage some had returned once the war died down." He said.

If this meant what I thought he'd meant.

"So, I'd wager the reason they would have lived was because of his interference...come on, I would have done the same in his position...given the chance." The Nerevarine pointed out, painting out the, now that I see, obvious.

"There had been agents sent to Cloud Ruler Temple on his behalf." Said Haskill. "He may not have shown it so easily, but the progress into who he is now was quickened on by the death of his wife. He was grieved greater that his wife never found out what happened and that perhaps she died of despair, knowing she would never see him again."

A Prince's lost love. I'd wager that would turn anyone to madness quicker.

"I shouldn't feel pity for Daedra." Nerevarine complained.

I agreed.

"Aye lad...so Haskill, the family..." I continued.

He flipped more pages.

"Getting towards the end of the line of the family he had left behind. He had a descendant, a son, given birth to a baby girl. He was contacted by Azura who he likes to have tea in Moonshadow. " He said as he skimmed through the book.

The Nerevarine chuckled.

"ah good ol' Azura. Haven't spoken with her in years. She's probably still watching over our fates as we speak. So he's pals with her. I wonder how she copes." The Elf said with a smile.

Haskill rolled his eyes.

"He likes the roses that grow there. Quite fond of them actually. Getting back on topic, she had revealed to him that the one who had been born recently was destined for greatness. When he looked at picture seen in the threads of twilight, she had an exact match with his wife. The same thin face and the same light blue eyes. It couldn't be coincidence. Surely. Whether she was an reincarnation or something else. He went off at Azura who claimed to be being coy with him, but it was in the case that she was not doing so." He said, as he looked upon a particular picture in the book.

Thin face and light blue eyes. That couldn't be...

"So...Petra to him looks like his wife?" The Nerevarine queried, just as stunned as I was.

Haskill closed the book and put it away back on the pedestal at the back.

"Issue is, that the fondness is subconscious. He knows of Petra, but his own twisted mind prevents him from seeing the truth and the likelihood of the words Azura had given to him. Interestingly enough, that it had put more of a twist of events then anyone would have liked. Nocturnal had her usual practices with him and let him know the girl was underneath her protection. He was glad someone was looking after her and didn't know why he was. The other princes know, but as I mentioned his own madness shields him from full realization. To him, it's just how it is and how it should be. My opinion was with the death of his wife and the death of Martin weighed heavily on his heart more than he thought it did. Now he's fully embraced his role as the Daedric Prince of Madness. Now I think he fully blames Petra's misfortunes on simply because the others Prince's know who she is." He explained further.

So Petra's somewhat related to a Daedric Prince...this just gets crazier and crazier by the day.

"Do you think that though? Could he have had some kind of influence? He must know of all that happened to her this far...with the dragons. With Molag Bal and the Soul Cairn?" I asked him.

"In sense, fate and destiny has been an interesting topic amongst scholars, all those that are tied to save or destroy the world in any mere mention, even without the Elder Scrolls for support. Both Aedra and Daedra have their copious amounts of influence through out the eras. I had a theory once in saying that, perhaps the Elder Scrolls functions are the antithesis to any godlike power that exists. The power to destroy or create Gods, as they do the world. I could be talking nonsense here, but with Petra, she who is the one to slay Alduin, it is within reason that it houses what is written. What method she takes doesn't matter as long as it's done. Sheogorath would have had the same problem as have I. We're all stuck in this mess we're unable to get ourselves out of because we're still playing a role in them." The Nerevarine stated.

We're all subject to the madness in the end, unfortunately. Petra still had the Elder Scroll with her, and maybe it wanted her to find it and to discover what she has to do to save Tamriel from a terrible fate. I'd go insane myself otherwise. But...he, the Nerevarine and Petra are those chosen to protect the world. I'm just a bystander with no real role other than causing havoc and being forced into something I never wanted to partake in. So it makes me like the chosen at least, in terms of that. Then I remember Petra's words...

_Sometimes you gotta do what you hate in order to survive..._

Had Petra's role been written long before that? It was doing my head in. But the facts spoke for themselves as Haskill had mentioned them. Is this why he was happy to help? But were there still other sinister reasons for it? And is Petra able to proceed.

"The townsfolk know of the newer legends surrounding the being known as Sotrahkun. They get the message quicker because, well, they can accept news better than most." Haskill said, recalling it as he scratched his chin.

"They've made songs and so forth. Our lord has been questioned about the whole matter by the other princes who are made known to the name being written throughout time."

The Nerevarine appeared curious.

"So what did he tell them?" He asked.

I'm eager to know the reply.

"Go ask Akatosh. It's his problem." He answered.

Aye, sounds like something he'd say.

I'm wondering about things in terms of what he said about Petra's legend and how Sheogorath reacted to the news. The paintings of the imperials...the lass with the light brown hair and the light blue eyes. She did have startling resemblance to Petra. Wearing the white gown she was wearing before. I wanted to question the lad about it.

* * *

I wandered into the main chamber, behest of Haskill and the Nerevarine, to confront the suit-clad Daedra sitting lazily on his throne. I must have looked intimidating as his guards were cautious of my approach. I had to get to the bottom of this. I need to know that this wasn't going to be touch and go with no real end. I can't appear weak and be damned of the consequences. No one messes with my girl, even if they are a Daedric Prince.

"Oh no, angry mortal coming through. Look, I told you the ship isn't ready yet.-"

"Is it true that Petra is your descendant?" I asked bluntly.

He tilted his head, puzzled about my words. He may have run the words through his thick head, not expecting the question to be asked at all.

"My...descendant? Haha...I like drinking babies tears. Petra cries like one but she's too old." He said.

I groaned.

"So you dress her up and pretend she's your dead wife?" I said. Although something tells me I'm going to regret it.

And it was then I received the most piercing glare from him that I felt something drop.

Oh Gods...but...I stood my ground. Then his face softened as quick as it had hardened.

"Wife? I am not married mortal. I am betrothed to the walls of my realm. Funny though, ever been married to a wall? Should try it. They can listen to you all day and make no comment." He said.

I sighed. I'm not going to die yet.

"Look, I know this is random, but please stop messing around with Petra...or what ever you're doing here. I appreciate the help and I'm sure Petra..does as well, but time itself is falling apart and we're delaying this too much." I said with urgency.

He lifted his head. The white in his eyes glinted as he studied me. I couldn't imagine him as being some protector of Cyrodiil, let alone Tamriel. I couldn't see any mortal past those sets of white flammable orbs in his thick head.

"No I get random. I get random as I throw people into the sun or feed them the twigs from a Gooligar tree. Spicy stuff. Time has been flowing for years and for it to break is Akatosh's doing. That dragon has no manners...but Sotrahkun. Oh she's kind enough. Prefers not to venture too far from her little cavern. Makes me visit her. Annoying, but I like what she does with the place. Oh...goodness I wish I had her architect. Mine as lost to a ripe addiction to Gooligar Twigs you know...now his designs are filled with nothing but those trees. I wanted my lumberjacks to get rid of them, but you have to see that the twigs are too good to get rid of." He said.

I see what Haskill meant. The Daedra had trouble focusing. I needed to get him into the game properly.

"You know I'm a Septim right?" I told him.

He blinked. Another interesting question.

"A...a Septim? An honest to...a dishonest Septim? Hah...really? A child of Tiber himself?  _Oooo_  and that Martin fellow. Can you turn into a dragon?" He questioned so eagerly.

I shook my head.

"Sadly no. I can grow wings, but that's about it." I said.

You'd think he'd appreciate the weird.

"Oh...hm...not quite a dragon." He muttered.

I had to keep pushing.

"Tiber had a illegitimate child with an elf. I'm a descendant of Talos himself." I responded.

Sheogorath cackled.

" _Reaaalllly_? That little scamp of a Man-God. Sometimes you gotta be glad that some people can't keep it in their pants. Keeping it out of their pants is an interesting accomplishment, provided that you're shot down for it of course. In the old days thats how men used to propose to women. Now it gets you a slap on the face...or worse..."

I really didn't want to know that. He then got up and looked at me from head to toe, with his hand on his face with a smile. I still stood my ground as he searched all over. He then shuffled my body about for some reason, before claiming my Amulet of Mara. Gods damnit...

"Oh so you have an Mara Amulet? Proposing are we? I-"

He froze as he spoke, his face falling from it's smile to a more neutral state. I looked at Haskill who shrugged.

"Hmmm...her spirit not lingers here but traverses the realms of Sovngarde. Shame I can't access it nor get her to come here." He said, voice monotone and calm for once. His eyes suddenly shifted on mine as he tilted his head and got uncomfortably close as he put his face near my eye and whispered into it.

"Mortal...your experiences of love as a greater passion is the ultimate madness of them all. Love is the one emotion that twists us and burns us to do absolutely stupid things. It churns you and destroys you. And you have...you are mad for Petra..."

I gulped and nodded reluctantly, only because I was rather...unsure of his own meaning on it.

"Aye, that I am. Just as you were mad back then. I aim to protect Petra. I am no God or Daedra, but I have a will and a blade strong enough that I wouldn't need any." I declared. 

He laughed and stepped back.

"A will and a blade you say?" He questioned as he stroked his beard. "Visiting Sotrahkun requires strength and insanity to bind yourself to the riverblades of the Currents to stay alive. The song and dance that my people have been singing throughout the streets. Good enough you came here, my realm has the strongest connection to the Laaglein. I have had people, previously demanding entry. Told them, I'll give you an entry and whacked them on the head and let them find their own way there. I killed one of them by accident of course but I'm  _pret-ty_  sure one of them made it."

I had hoped as much or else this wasn't going to work. I crossed my arms.

"So when is the boat finished?" I asked him once more.

I could hear his wining from under his breath.

"Goodness you mortals are persistent. I should turn you into a skeever for considering that I go quicker,  _buuuut_  I won't. It's almost done! Perfection and function requires a delicate touch, especially with what it's made out of. Materials are hard to come by so I require no mistakes in production." He answered.

I just wanted something to get there and quick.

"So you have being seeing her name a lot?" I assumed.

I had made the assumption as Champions who are linked to this crap, that he'd definitely know more.

"All the time. It's annoying. It fades away after all. She follows me like a hawk. Although, Hawks don't follow. You're probably thinking of a raven, crow...a ravencrow. A name's a name. Sending messages everywhere without content I don't respond to. I consider very rude where someone does that. But I like pranks meself. Ever had a temporary tattoo?"

I smirked.

"No. I haven't. So it's true. I don't need anything else."

* * *

I wandered off in the belief that in terms of who he was in regards to the White Dragon getting contact with previous heroes in order to save time. This was what she wanted after all. For the like-minded to gather and save the land from impending doom.

I went into the same chamber where Petra had been resting and observed all the imperial décor in there. No doubt he had this designed on purpose, seeing pictures of Martin Septim, the one whom he had once hung out with as a mortal. Haskill was right in saying he'd been lost in his role, but overall, there were a few cracks there where his normal self had come through.

It made me wonder if a lot of Daedra were like this. Lost fragments of a past personality, warped and churned into the monsters that they become.

Martin was...well, pretty much an ancestor, if not actually directly. Still hard to believe. If I met Tiber Septim myself I'd be fully convinced of the implications. But I certainly do not want to be Emperor.

I wanted the dragon problem solved. I wanted the time problem solved then we could think of our own futures involved. I held the amulet closely and prayed for a better outcome. That was until Haskill came into the room.

"You made quite the impact in the main chamber there young man." He said.

I kinda hoped I did...in a good way.

"Sorry if I ticked him off in some way. Does he want me dead?" I wondered.

He shook his head.

"No of course not. He's busy contemplating what you've told him. But he's told me to give you...this.."

He brought out a black box, curiously and flipped the lid open. Inside the red silk folds of the fabric was a golden necklace, with some kind of ruby pendant that had once been shattered, then repaired with haste.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"Ancient artifact." He answered.

"It was destroyed in the Oblivion Crisis. It used to have a terrific power, but now it's just a piece of broken jewellery. He's kept it for sentimental value. However, after your little rant with him, he wants you...well, mostly Petra to have it. But he wants you to give it to her."

I was really confused at this stage. Why?

"Our Lord works in mysterious ways. However, he's not forgotten his ordeals completely. He's only lost in his role to turn back. It's better that way for all of us. Or else getting him confused with his mortal self would only mean destruction."

I nodded.

"Aye. And that's nothing to laugh about, either." I said.

I observed it quite closely. Shattered and repaired. I felt through it and my fingers touch every break, every smooth and pointed surface. He must have meant by message for sure. But unfortunately I wasn't getting it.

My blood was burning from it, strangely enough. It's funny, as who I am I can sense those magical subtleties now. Or maybe it was just from experience. Who knew?

* * *

I tried to see where Petra stood as his relative. She wasn't mad herself, just a bit vulnerable. Not weak, just doesn't have enough confidence in herself.

It's also amusing how the past catches up with us and we don't know it. Years after wars and battles happen, we're left feeling the ripple years later and the pieces we have to pick up that are left sitting there or taken by somebody else.

The Nerevarine describes it as we are all fated whether we like it or not. We can grab and pull at the strings to make it go to our end. Our goal can to be fight what we're destined to, but it's either you end up meeting it quicker or making the problem ten times worse. And I figure I am born here to help. I am here to not just alleviate Petra's fears but my own. If I have no fate I will make my own. And if my fate condemns me to more pain than it warrants my sacrifices, I'll do my best to make sure I'll know if it's the only way to do it.

Regarding the talk in terms of Sheogorath feeling guilty regarding Petra's circumstances that the daedra all take an interest in her, may explain Molag Bal and Nocturnal's eagerness for them to serve them. A Daedra's Daughter makes for an interesting topic amongst the planes of Oblivion, or...Daedra's great time times what ever daughter who resembles his dead wife. Just as much as conversations resolving herself as Dragonborn pertain to Skyrim.

Petra knows what she has to do. I don't however. My role is nothing but darkness that seeks to destroy and I will continue to work against it. I want to good for once. The Nerevarine and Ayisha have their worlds defined before them for the benefit of their kind...and I'm just a mess that needs to put up a front to see if it was okay to go out and see the world without being compromised with death, of all things.

I don't want to be Emperor or royalty at all. I just want to be with Petra and live my life out with her. I seek it so much that I just want this over and done with so she can be safe.

Maybe I should do it soon. Ask her to marry me. I have to get the perfect opportunity. Sometime soon, get married as soon as we could. We have already claimed one another. Why wouldn't she?

The darkness could be around the corner any day now and uncertainty built around us as quickly as it ever had been. I put the other necklace away and brought out the Amulet once more. Come on Brynjolf, just do it. You love her don't you? Sheogorath doesn't seem to mind. I hope. Goodness knows I wouldn't use him for advice. No. I had to do this. Even if we were just in some crazy realm of Oblivion...

Thankfully, I could get help...I think.


	88. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra waltzes around in her mind, contemplating if she's truly gone mad.

The townspeople themselves were an odd bunch, but most of them stared at me with eyes that I had delved into many times before.

To them, I am but a scratch on the surface when it comes to insanity. They have most likely seen terrible horrors that even I cannot fathom. But they are people nonetheless, who have found a home and a father whom they're genuinely happy with.

I say father and not leader because the love I sense from him is so...profound and dignified. I've never seen such a world, so rich in colour and warmth. Maybe because I'm wandering around the cheerful Mania and avoiding the Dementia half. The Daedra guards, known as the Golden Saints, wander around in their whispers, keeping their shining eyes on me.

Maybe because it was the dress or...yeah it's probably just the dress. Sheogorath has been kind to me...in his own, special way. I see the envy in Ayisha's eyes, since her people revere him somewhat. She described me his perfection as a mirror image of the Khajiit. Which made me think she herself had gone insane, until she told me that Daedra can make themselves appear to anyone to what concept a mortal mind can comprehend. In this case, I see him as a man, while to Ayisha, he is a replica of a Khajiit. Fascinating.

I get that Daedra are immensely powerful and crossing with them would be a death sentence. But not all of them are that bad...are they?

How the mood changed, as I could see feathers that fell from the sky. I caught one as it slowly made it's way down. Was this normal?

"Mama. The White Dragon knows you're here." Ayisha revealed.

I figured as much. A creature that I suspect would have great omnipotent power continues to seek me out where ever I go. I'm still trying to figure out what it wants from me, other than wanting to die for the sake of time.

I could see the townsfolk bewildered, some amazed by the phenomenon. I wouldn't want them to die because of me. Where we are, whether we are outside time itself, or just in one of it's tendrils. It's obvious I have a powerful influence here otherwise.

The Golden Saints grew anxious as they muttered to one another. I fell the presence of a familiar aura. I saw another...woman in a white dress.

"Regkosot." Ayisha muttered. Her face tightened with anger as she prepared her spells.

Of course. The sources of the feathers. It was blatant. No one moved as she calmly made her way towards me, the sky in a perpetual glow. But Ayisha could see her. Previously, I was the only one who could.

"Petra..." She muttered, her voice glistening in echoes.

I looked at her...my own emotional state was surprisingly calm, given where I was. I felt safe within these walls, but the powers that be softened the blows to ensure I wouldn't go stupid just looking at the very being I never wanted to see again. Besides a few others, of course.

"Still trying to get me to kill myself?" I asked her bluntly.

She shook her head. The smile on her face seemed to captivate a few of the townsfolk and caused others to weep. This honestly sounds like one of those ancient stories of Gods and powerful beings. Truthfully, people were weeping

"I am here to warn you that it draws close to reality that will destroy itself, if you do not wish to see it end by Alduin's doing." She told me.

Like I already didn't know.

"Come on, I was born to do that. What other crazy idea have you got in your head that may convince me otherwise?" I stated, convinced she was trying to persuade me to off myself in a dramatic fashion. I swore to Brynjolf not to do that again.

She tilted her head.

"You are aware of the consequences. You are not safe here.  Find the Goddess of the Feather. She wishes to speak with you in person." She said.

I smirked as I exchanged glances with Ayisha. Talking would be a welcome change of pace to solve the issue.

"Why couldn't we just do that in the first place to save all the drama? You have no idea how that impacted on me the first time." I told her outright, recalling those terrible choices I was thinking of making originally...and sometimes I feel like I should still do so. I am still wracked with guilt and the accumulation of horrific memories.

"Because we had thought there was no other way. But the Lady herself. She...is dying." She revealed.

"Sotrahkun is dying?" Ayisha muttered, perplexed by the notion.

"I am but a trickle of her fading power and influence. I cannot stay here long. Look around you..." She answered as she rose her arms.

Ayisha and I watched as the feathers continued to fall, but the people around us, including the Daedra, were frozen. My eyes widened.

"You're doing that I take it?" I surmised.

She looked down.

"This won't be the worst of their fates. The people that exist...they're already disappearing and it is our fair lady's struggle to contain the timelines. My only instruction to you is to seek our Feathered One as soon as you can. Existence depends on it." She explained further.

I heard noise from the crowd as Regkosot disappeared. Ayisha became worried. But the feathers vanished as life flowed again.

"Mama..." She croaked.

I held her hand. Poor girl. Older still and she worries about me. She's too sweet.

"It's fine Ayisha. It's better than me dead isn't it?" I told her, before kissing her on the forehead.

"Ayisha understands. Alkosh himself may have spoken with her. Alkosh is truly in charge of time. He would never let this happen without reason." She said.

I'd imagine the situation would force him to take action at some point.

"No. He wouldn't. I am Dragonborn for a reason. I know there has to be ways to fight. Just...not in the ways we're used to."

* * *

We continued to walk around as we came across a large plaza. The tiles formed a mosaic of a hummingbird which I thought was cute, and a band of musicians playing on an assortment of Bretons, Imperials...Argonians...all there. In fact, I could see the entirety of the known Tamrielic races here in harmony...or, at least this reams version of it. Logic tells me that happiness is impossible for me. That I was still existing to cause more trouble and pain to others. I looked up, seeing...somehow seeing spectral forms of those I had seen that have been gone...saw Vex and Delvin in the crowds. They should be dead.

Karliah was there too, with Gallus...And Thrynn...and Tonilia and Etienne...and Vekel..

"Mama..." I heard Ayisha say. My eyes must have been staring out into the void.

"Ayisha. Do you believe this is still my fault? That I brought it on because I am who I am...just a creature of unluck." I asked her.

Despite my own servitude with Lady Luck herself?

"Ayisha believes Mama was made for a purpose. A purpose Ayisha has witnessed for herself. And have thought nothing but wonderful thoughts of her. And missed her dearly in her time. Just Ayisha was born Mane, to see where she stands in the life of Khajiit, just as she sees as it was destiny for Ayisha to help Mama."

The spectral forms of the Guild Members began to sing with the tune of the flute, the lute and the drummers of the songs that I never knew existed.

_Feather...feather...lady of the feather..._

I still don't know. I wasn't expecting life to be simple. I want to live. That I still fear death itself...no, I hate it. But I have to accept that it's a necessity...

_Unto shadows we sing_

_Unto light we dance._

_Hold me, hold me I'm in some kind of trance_

"Am I mad to say that you might be the one I'm meant to protect?" I wondered.

_Goddess of the Feather and the warmth of your wing_

_Embrace my heart and take me in_

_Your song is sung_

_And your dance has been done._

An unusual assumption, I'm certain.

"We are born underneath the same moon and stars. We protect and nourish one another for the futures we bring to them to hold, so that they may continue the road we can carve for them. Might not be the one they desired, but as long as they're happy, and healthy. Is that not worth living for?" A piercing question she put forth to me.

_Sotrahkun, of time and light_

_Harbinger of day and night_

_Arise yourself from duties and fate_

_For now your return we wait._

I continued to stare of the spirits, singing in a weird harmony. I wanted what she said. But do I have to be there in order to make that happen? Will Ayisha...Ayisha is here before me. Her form unmistakable. She lives while I am already dead. I will have succeeded somewhere. I just would have had to.

I have had my fears and logic be damned...my heart was...desiring in belief that it wanted for so long...

The spirits faded away, leaving the band playing some other song, until we heard footsteps...a legion of them, heading in our direction. The face of the Daedric Prince smiled before us. I bowed my head towards him and grinned.

"Good news, your ship awaits you in the harbour! I always wanted to be a pirate. Scouring the seas for narwhales. Mind the pointy end if you're going to ride them." He stated.

Good. Finally.

"That's great. Thank you so much!" I told him as I hugged him. Much to his dismay and to the shock of the people around him. I think while as awkward and sudden it was, with several others whispering why he hadn't gotten my intestines out of me just yet, I think he was pleased with it. Poor Daedra probably hadn't had one in years.

"Uh..yes yes...before you leave. I only want a simple dance." He said all of a sudden. "I couldn't have the party I wanted, though, a dance with you would bring me utmost joy. Cat! Sing us a song!"

Ayisha was stunned.

"What? You want Ayisha to sing? Khajiit aren't very good singers dearest Sheggorath."

I smiled as the Daedra took my hands.

"Come on Ayisha...it's all in good fun." I told her.

She looked at the band who were apparently waiting for her command and cleared her throat.

" _Un hun, un hun Siir kendovro hil..."_

I know that tune. I've heard it on the lips of bards, but not in the dragon language.

" _Zu'u fun hi, Zu'u fun hi Faal Dovahkiin meyz_ "

But to hear her sing it...just makes everything else...seem too surreal.

" _Voth kod suleyk do kruziik bron baas"_

Why would you create a prophecy? Just to let it never end, from fulfilling itself?

" _Korah, korah faal Dovahkiin meyz"_

I was born to prove the dragons wrong and my death just sends them message that will allow them to rule? Just...I can see in my heart how that's just odd.

" _Niidro oblaan wah vokul do pah Keizaalro paal"_

To inspire songs and legends, only to have it all fall apart because of a dirty trick. It just doesn't seem fair.

" _Kosiir, kosiir faal Dovahkiin meyz_ "

It's an unjust cruelty, cast down to all of us...but cruel to heroes, like the Nerevarine and like the Champion of Cyrodiil, most of all, Ayisha.

" _Fah vulom lost rahn Ahrk zoor gah naram"_

The worst part is that I didn't want to be involved. I longed to live the normal life, but I had that taken away from me.

" _Hi mindok, hi mindok faal Dovahkiinro meyz"_

Sheogorath spun me around, allowing me to absorb the warmth of the atmosphere and the cheer of his beloved subjects. We had grasped my hands just right, and moved with the same ebb and flow. The sky practically sparkled above us and our joy was just...for once in my life, making my mind at ease. I wish it would do that more often.

He certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. I'd never think a Daedra could ooze this much fun. And was I mad because my thoughts had temporarily lingered away from doom for just this moment? It got my mind on Brynjolf. Where was he in all of this?

* * *

Sheogorath must have sensed those very thoughts as we stopped. He then kissed my hand and moved away as the red-headed bastard of mine had come into view. I could see the Nerevarine as well. Bryn approached me and took my hands that have held mine for a long time now. The same hands that have mended my wounds and broken soul. His eyes looked longingly into mine as I touched his rugged face of red fur. Okay it's his beard. He's not a kitty. But my own world seemed to open up as he came into view with the same breath of air that I have tasted so many times and would never get tired of.

The spirits of the Guild were around us. I don't know if I'm only the one seeing this...

Unless...

I have truly lost myself.

Or...something else...

I don't know what it is but it is there.

I have been in denial, I've been angry, I've tried to find a way through it, and I have cried about it...and now...

I may have accepted it. The madness danced around me.

It isn't okay to die for no reason. Or at least, a reason I would never fully understand. No...but, in brings too much hurt to those in conjunction of the souls around you. Was that why I hadn't gone off screaming at the Regkosot? I was relatively...calm...cool and collected and stating questions anyone would ask in my situation.

So...there isn't really much else I could do. While I am in the breadth of danger, others can bunker down before the storm.

And I was happy. I seriously have to be insane about it. That's whats wrong with me...isn't it?

After our dance, Brynjolf rested me down as he held my arms and smiled at me. I tilted my head.

"Lass...there's something I want to tell you and I know...there's only so much we can say. And I want to say it now and I want to say it right. We're in a sticky situation with no simple conclusion. And I have to admit the ride has been crazy from the start and it got stranger and stranger from then on. And you know what? Knowing you have been there with me makes me feel like it was meant to be. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise." He admitted.

Ironic. But I felt a flow of warmth wash over me.

"Neither would I." I snarked as he touched my face as well with those well-used hands of his as we wanted each other to stare at the beautiful looks of love. Sappy, ain't it?

"What ever the case may be lass. I don't want to say that we've gone through this without regret, because they were the stepping stones into believing we had become better people...through the best times and the darker times. And for what ever lies ahead, I want to let to you know that I am very thankful in meeting you, knowing that dealing the most stubborn woman in all of Skyrim turned out to be the best decision I ever made." Bryn continued.

My face heated up at those words as my stomach churned. I didn't know...what I could say...he dragged one of my hands down to his chest as I felt something rough. I looked down and tilted my head. I could see a gold-coloured pendant with a sapphire and...

Oh Gods...Brynjolf...you're really...

"Petra, I wanted to do this because I wasn't sure what was going to happen from now on. I don't know what will occur once you step into the Currents of Time...so I wanted Mara to know, I wanted her to see that perhaps that love will protect you. And that's just...me talking out of my ass again."

I could feel tears running out my cheeks and my throat clogged. Gods...

"Bryn..." I muttered.

His face was beat red and as I felt his chest, I could feel his heart beating fast.

"So...Petra...will you...marry me?" He asked, his voicing almost breaking.

I had to think...and I had say something back. He deserved it. He deserves so much...

"I've always been a lost cause. From my horrific experiences, and for you who had seen who I was that day and to hold me like no one else ever had. I haven't been the perfect girlfriend. And look where I have dragged you to. I've forced you here and to propose to me in a realm of Oblivion no less. That's to say that's probably beating out every other proposal I've read about. But that's besides the point. I've been nothing but a mess and a problem to you since day one. I'm no warrior and perhaps the Gods were right to choose me. Like you said..but the Gods...as stupid and...poetically moronic as it sounds, gifted you to me. But here I am, beginning to believe in myself once more not as Dragonborn, but as Petra....all thanks to you..."

It was true. We'd been through thick and thin. I wanted and needed to believe, but I guess I needed the assurance others in believing me first. And Brynjolf was the very first. I desired the long life with him. I'd love to be the mother of his children. I'd love the simple life we both always wanted. Why would I say no?

"So...Brynjolf...I-"

"DRAGONNNNNNNN!"

Thankfully enough, all my gear was sent back to me at the moment. Somehow.


	89. Madness on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos ensues as Brynjolf tries to stabilize the concerning situation with Petra.

 

I thought I had it there. It was the right time and the perfect moment to do so. Yet, I guess we're delayed yet again. I was so close. And I know that I've spilled what I could and all I have to do is wait for the proper reply. Or clean up the mess first then get back to it.

Right now, the only thing we needed to, was to destroy the problem before us.

The townsfolk panicked and ran around like headless creatures we heard the wings and the roars of the flying monstrosities that drew closer to us. The first matter Sheogorath did was to, surprisingly, for a madgod, was to order his guards to round up his people and take them back into the palace. What ever Petra had been wearing previously, had faded away, leaving her in her original gear. Magic is weird sometimes.

The four of us looked at one another, ready to what ever battle was about to partake here. I wasn't surprised at the amount of time it would take until Prolg would have found us. A few of the guards had called about a large black, spiky dragon. Alduin, no doubt.

They needed to finish this as much as we did. I still don't know their true goal. Only, that they need Petra, the Elder Scroll and they were somehow tied to the White Dragon Sotrahkun. Petra had to go to her anyway. The words I had heard amongst Petra's whispers, is that Prolg had planned to use her and the Elder Scroll but couldn't, due to her ties to Nocturnal.

But Nocturnal was gone...and from Petra's explanations, she was still tied to Molag Bal, possessing his mace strangely enough. She still had to be protected by the Daedra, as well as Sheogorath himself. So a Daedra's protection is worth having, just to stop what ever plans they had. But I had a strange feeling in my mind that they were going to have a way around that somehow. But by Shor, I will not let them claim her. Not while I was still here.

I pulled out my sword and swung it ago. Rahkes, this god's forsaken weapon, as Petra pulled out her bow, her face steeled and sturdy. I don't know if she's prepared, but, just the look in her eyes tells me she wants to be. She has to be. Whether her phobia would take place, or the dragon spirit within her to go on one of it's rampages has yet to be seen. Ayisha had prepped her destruction spells. Lass looks fiercer than she has ever been. She's definitely grown. And the Nerevarine? He just had his sword. I had no doubt about his skills anyway.

What ever happens here, we need to keep fighting no matter what.

We'd looked up further in the strangest skies, seeing the horde of dragons swarming all around us, their ferocity as they flew above us shook the earth. We maintained our ground and stuck together and watched each other's backs. No. We weren't going to let this go at all.

Some shouted fire, setting many buildings a flame. The Golden Saints and the Dark Seducers cried out as they attacked the draconic armies. I kept an eye on Petra, who dodged and weaved, her eyes set in deep and nearly drenched in sadness She was scared...but...her hidden courage was allowing her to see past the phobia and let her do what she does best.

Kick ass.

I had a green dragon come at me and shout something fierce in my face, I rolled out of the way and swiped at it, only for it shoot out of the way and nearly drop me from whacking it's tailing at my head. I luckily had dived down at the right moment, barely avoiding it.

The Isles were a colourful place, now...at this stage all I could see was read and the heat from the flames swallowing buildings whole. I charged around, keeping a closer eye on Petra as I heard her shout. She had then ascended into the air, switching her bow for the weapon she'd found in Sky Haven Temple. She was flying as they were, the fury of her dragonborn spirit radiating from her body. And I wasn't talking about the shout she used to do so. I sincerely hope she is careful. I still need her answer.

* * *

I felt the energies of Zoklotinhaar swim within me, his armour covering my body. I could feel the raven wings jettison from my back. Either he was doing this willingly and not saying anything...or worse. For now, his power was mine to use, whether he liked it or not.

I could see Prolg strutting through the entrance with his range of dragon escorts, cultists and thalmor toadies. He looked more akin to a Dragon Priest than I did...at least those dragon priests didn't rely on deception.

"Brynjolf my boy." He called out, his arms open wide. His voice boomed in the midst of the noisy chaos above us. And his very voice was making my blood boil.

"You have nowhere to hide. You flee to a realm of Oblivion and yet, we can still find you. You are as lawless as your mother was, sneaking into the Blue Palace like that..."

Rahkes glistened in my hand. It hungered for his blood.

"Look around you. Fire finds you just as easily. See?" He boasted.

I looked up as I saw Petra still fighting it out with the Dragons...slaughtering one and absorbing its soul in the airborne battle of triumph as she roared with just as much hatred as they had for her.

"You put one finger on her and I will make sure your death is painful as I can make it!" I spat out to him, pointing Rahkes between his eyes.

"Petra is an abomination and will destroy everything before the day is done! My son, would you prefer the cessation of existence, than the peaceful recommendation of serving under out Dragon Overlords and finally find unity?" He asked me.

I honestly just want to listen to himself that.

"No. Because Petra's existence depends on what she chooses to do. She has that power within her. The power to choose her fate. And you cannot decide that for her." I told him.

As if he cared.

"Yes, because deciding the fate of the descendant of Sheogorath is a logical decision...note the sarcasm. She has the blood of madness within her and mix that with a dragon spirit, doesn't make one feel at all comfortable with the predicament. She could choose to destroy us. We choose to bring order." He stated. He was really making my blood boil further now.

I gritted my teeth as the ashes and ambers of the destruction of the Shivering Isles danced around us, the scent of heat and burning wood filled the senses.

"You would call  _this_  order? Would you? Its appears where ever you go, you leave a trail of destruction behind and are willing to sacrifice innocent lives to better your ends. Tell me, if you can still call yourself father to me, if that is logical to you." I told him outright.

He crossed his arms, closed his eyes and looked calm amongst the chaotic storm above and around us.

"Yes. It is a fact that people must die. Because it is only then that others will learn their real place in the world. Will Petra be able to make the decision when the time comes? Look at her now, flying around up there, killing her kin left and right...it is a mistake to leave the power of Gods in the hands of those who do not know how use them properly? Is it Petra up there? Her mind a sinful combination of madness, hate and confusion? Does she truly know what she's dealing with?" He asked me.

Petra will do what Petra has to.

"She will. Because while you call out to the fact that she's a demon in the eyes of Alduin and his servants, the Gods had given her this for a reason. The Gods for goodness sake, have been doing this for years! The same Gods that created the Dragons! There has to be some flaw that needs fixing and Petra is out to do just that." I declared.

I could see that he was breaking in the slightest of motions. But it was fact. The same fact that brought out the first Dragonborn when he had roamed Tamriel. Because, they knew, they had to have seen for themselves what a mess Alduin had made the first time around.

Why wasn't Prolg seeing that?

"The Gods themselves sent the Dragonborn to test him! To make a mockery of mortal kind! Time itself has not been kind to the dovahkiin born across the eras. You've seen it yourself! The Dragons are the Protector-Gods of time. How could they have not seen this coming? They would have bettered themselves and destroyed Dragonborn at every opportunity!" He shouted.

I gave him one, massive glare.

"You tried to kill Petra at first chance Prolg. You failed. You broke time yourself. This whole matter is your fault. Petra was told she was supposed to die and she didn't, at least, not for long. Which meant there was a loophole somewhere. But we had learned as such that the Dragonborn has the power to decide for herself. It never made any sense to me either, to if she decided to die, she would have. Look up at her there Prolg, that woman does not want to die. She had told me herself. Time can't breakdown if the Gods had gifted her with that." I called.

His eyes widened. Good. I want him to buckle underneath that pressure. Because it was true. I could see it clearly now. That Petra, while she was beckoned to die and while everyone else was telling her she was supposed to be dead, it was no God telling her that. The Realm-Walker holds no authority here and the Regsokot...well, no idea what this Lady-in-White had told her outright, but it seems down right hypocritical if she was supposed to off herself to make time stable again.

To say whether Prolg had been the one for the reason why time was dying, I don't know. I had suspected he had his part to play to get Petra to listen to him. Death was all around us now as the dragons fought off Daedra. I could see Ayisha casting her spells on Thalmor insurgents alongside the Nerevarine as they continued to storm inside the town in great numbers. Surely the elves had quality over quantity? Something still didn't feel right.

"I had hoped you would see reason Brynjolf. It's a shame that it's all screwed in your head with the influence of the abomination you so wish to protect so much. Good bye, son..."

In that, he'd let his legion of soldiers, Draugr to over take the city. How was he getting all of this power out of nowhere. No matter. It only matters that I take it down and take it down quickly.

* * *

I flew upwards and readied Rahkes as Prolg faded into the crowd of Thalmor, Draugr and Cultists that just seemed to endlessly fill the city...as well as the Dragons...I could see Petra fighting them. I saw Alduin up higher, watching over the battle himself. He shouted something at the sky, turning it red and purple as meteors rained from above. I tried to help her as I flew towards the fray and made more contributions of my own. She needed my help in taking them down. I would promise myself not to be a burden this time.

I cleaved the necks of the ancient beasts, allowing Petra to strike and consume their souls. But...her form was different from what I had noticed. I could see glowing cracks in her face and her eyes were glowing an ethereal sky blue. And it just intensified with every dragon she slew. What was Alduin planning?

"Petra!" I shouted. "Petra are you alright?"

She nodded as her facial expression could only be described as like the anger of the dovah. A power unseen. I would always worry, but I have to let her do what she needs to do. This was her Dragonself, but she a bit more control of it. Although it appeared that was in dire pain. Either a struggle to maintain her form or the amount of energy she was taking in...if either case, she was trying to not let herself be ripped to shreds from the sheer overload.

"They're summoning way too many dragons! I don't know how, but we need to get out of here as soon as possible." She roared back, with her voice containing echoed inflections."

"Go find Ayisha and the Nerevarine! Go to Sheogorath! He'll take you to the boat! GO!"

I flew off regrettably as Petra's fierce slices tore the dragons apart. I only watched as she landed on the back of a frost dragon and ran across it's spine, slicing it's wings in a whirlwind of cuts, blood splashing everywhere. Petra...please...be careful.

I went down, seeing Ayisha and the Nerevarine back to back, fighting off Thalmor, Draugr and Cultists. Some of the higher powered draugr deathlords seemed to be using the thu'um, but Ayisha kept up wards consistently, but I feared she would be draining her magicka reserves, seeing broken bottles everywhere with bits of blue liquid. Gods...what have they?

"Papa!" She cried out, her face stained with blood and dirt.

"There's too many of them! We have to fall back!" The Nerevarine shouted.

I flew down and grabbed their hands. They were heavy, but I bared the pain to get them to higher ground and towards the top of of the palace, as Sheogorath looked over the battlements, seeing the destruction. I flew down and let go of the pair and stood by the daedra, who's face was steely eyed and studying intently on the battle.

"Such a day has not been seen since the Greymarch. Except, this is a thousand times worse." He said, his voice not as jolly as it was once.

"Dragons are not something I have great experience with..only for what I have been told and I only had see one prior. Alduin's just a mean flying lizard throwing a tantrum because he didn't meet daddies expectations..."

I looked at him strangely.

"Some tantrum. But Petra's still up there and there's something...not right..." I said.

He gave off expressions I'd never expected him to make.

"I sadly must agree with you. She's taking far too much of their power for her mortal body to contain...she absorbs their energy...imagine it's in a cycle of infinites, she expels the power within her, gets the power back and uses that power. At this rate, with the  _huuuuge_  swarm of dragons that Alduin is summoning out of his butt or something, we'd be here forever...to which, forever is something you all don't have. You have to get to the boat immediately." He stated.

We kept watching Petra duke it out above. Petra...get down here...

"Mama's stuck in the rage of the dovah. A fire not easily dowsed." Ayisha spoke with sadness.

I looked at Petra as the cluster of dragons flew around her, her boding burning with immense energies as she bared her teeth and her face twisted in scorn and pure hated. The intensity was going to kill her. She looked at the dark dragon watching it all underneath the firey storm. Her Dragonself all out and laid to bare. And it was terrifying.

" _Alduiiiiiiiiin!_ " She shouted, her voice...it wasn't human.

The black dragon laughed. She puffed and panted and her glare was almost paralyzing. 

"Dovahkiin, this game will not end until you cease fire. I still hold everything, all the power. You will fight until you die." He taunted.

I shook my head. I had to help her. I flew towards her, much to the dismay of everyone else. I dodged and dived wing and claw to get to her, to see that her hand also wielded the Mace of Molag Bal. The unjust, unholy energies of the Daedric Prince of Domination.

Not this again. Her heart was filled with so much abhorrence for this creature and his ilk that it must have satisfied the Daedra with much of the power she had. She was giving into this hate with the unlikelihood of her turning back.

It was worse than her being a vampire and I hated it. This was the Dragonself within bleeding from the cracks of her spirit, desiring nothing more than slaughter and decimation. Just like he wanted.

"Petra!" I shouted, getting the attention of some of the dragons surrounding her. Getting their attention would allow her to escape. If she could of her own will.

She looked at me with the same face.

"Brynjolf!" She cried back.

I gave her a stern look.

"Come back Petra! We need you to come with us! The others, they're safe. We have to leave...NOW!" I pleaded.

Her eyes darted to Alduin. An ominious aura came about her as she gave him a stare that would break down any normal man.

"I swear one day I will make you bleed, World-Eater. And I will consume you like none other.  **YOUR SOUL WILL BE MINE!** "

I had a chill run down my spine as she muttered that so coolly, then screamed it, it's echoes reverberating throughout Oblivion. She turned and flew towards me. Good sign she was still there somewhere. We both looked at another and nodded, knowing what we had to do next. We tried to escape to oncoming shouts of fire and ice and other abilities as we charged back down the palace roof. The essence of Petra's shout dissipated as we gathered and hid behind a battlement. Sheogorath forced us all into a huddle and looked at us with intent I'd never seen him give. While the cracks on Petra remained as scars on her face, her eyes continuing to gleam with dragon power. I was hoping that wasn't permanent.

"Alright, so we have a huge problem. Nothing I can't handle. So, there's an entrance to the docks underneath the palace. Haskill will lead you there." He told us.

"What about you?" Petra asked, concerned.

He smiled. A smile only a madgod would make.

"None of you be worry warts. Ugly skin condition. Smells funny too. Anyway, this is my realm and I have the final say. So go now, scoot before I rip your entrails and use them as skipping rope!"

* * *

We'd never forget Sheogoraths assistance in his own charming way. We'll have to take his word for it, for now and get back on track.

I took Petra's hand and ran us towards a door nearby, which allowed us to go down the set of spiral stares and eventually back into the throne room. Haskill stood there, as ever and motioned his hand to the direction of the madgod's trophy room. He pulled out a set of keys as he lead us back to the end of the room. He opened up a door into another, a room filled with a myriad of pictures, paintings stacked on top and covering the wall which must have been nearly endless, filled with those faces I couldn't recognize, until we saw a painting of Petra at the end, which confused the lass. She looked around the room, her face distorting.

"I...these are members of my family." She noted, her eyes darting from painting to painting to individuals.

Oh...

"There's mother...father...then there's crazy grandfather. Now I get why my parents didn't like him." She stated.

She scratched her head. I forgot she still didn't know who she was dealing with. I wasn't quite sure what to tell her. But this must have been a room filled with her ancestors. And she told me her backstory wasn't at all interesting. When Haskill mentioned that Sheogorath was keeping tabs on his family, he meant it.

She looked at the gigantic painting at entrance to this room. It was a picture of a man clad in old armour, alongside a woman that...Gods...

Petra...

"That looks like me..." She muttered.

The Nerevarine and I exchanged glances.

"After Azura had told him the prophecy, relayed to him, he made sure his blood was protected." Haskill noted, working out the locks to go the docks.

"His...blood...no..." She gasped.

I took hold of her hand as she stared down at the red carpeted floor.

"Daedra can't procreate. But, he was human...mortal like you." Haskill stated bluntly.

"A hero..."

Gods no, we don't need another breakdown. Petra, no...get off the floor.

"We can't leave him there!" She cried out.

I picked her up and got her focus.

"Petra. Look, I know your mind can't take much more madness in itself. All this is the least of your concerns. We need to get you to the Laaglein now. You have one more dragon to meet, I swear..." I told her.

She then nodded in understanding...then became calm in an instant after she took a deep breath.

"No, you're right. It's just me being stupid and possibly sentimental again. Let's go to the Laaglein then." She said firmly. Phew.

Haskill opened the door, revealing another set of spiral stairs. Getting to the bottom revealed a cavern, with the cave roof a sparkling garnet, and the water itself a glowing cascade. The boat...caught our eyes.

"Is that seriously a narwhal?" The Nerevarine asked, raising an eyebrow.

Haskill nodded.

"Yes." He answered with bother.

"Our lord demanded it as such. Where you're all going needs a bit of protection from the water..."

I scratched my head.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Haskill walked us towards the Narwhal shaped boat. It appeared made out of wood and crudely painting in blues and whites and sporting a huge tusk on the front. Like Sheogorath made it himself. He truly met his moniker.

"The portal itself is in the depths of the water. The boat, called Order's Foe, is enchanted and built to withstand the depths. Trust me when I say, don't touch anything. It's meant to automatically swim you down."

We looked at one another. It's safe to say we really didn't have a choice in the matter.

"We're ready when ever." Petra told him,

Haskill nodded.

"Good. Just go inside and I'll do the rest."

* * *

I'm trying to pinpoint where going inside a narwhal shaped ship was settled in the scales of such obscurities we've gone through so far. Inside just looked like it was meant for a king. Or a Prince. Incredibly well furbished. With a bed for what ever reason and Sheogorath's painting of himself overlooking it. I honestly just don't know anymore.

Haskill wished us luck as he closed the doors and ushered us to sit down...as the ride itself wasn't exactly, smooth sailing, to put it to a good point. We sat down on what ever chairs we could find and awaited for anything to come to pass.

It must have taken itself a while to set up, as nothing was happening. We're either doing the world a favour, or we're making a great mistake.

"Uhh...so we moving?" The Nevevarine questioned.

Ayisha rolled her eyes.

"Ayisha cannot tell, but do not doubt the Skooma Cat's power." She told him.

The elf appeared offended.

"Hey, I wasn't doubting anyone and- woah..."

We felt a tilt, like gravity itself was shifting. We'd all grabbed onto something, then once it had adjusted itself completely, everything else was fine, but the rest of us had fallen on the front wall of the boat. Still least craziest thing I'm sure.

I found Petra in my arms, surprisingly enough. But she had a smile on her face, which was better than anything else. I ran my finger tips over the scars on her face, that split from her hairline and from behind her ears to her cheeks.

"Everything alright?" I asked her.

It was then she decided to frown. Stupid question Bryn.

"I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't keep going." She told me. "But I'm okay. I honestly am getting sick of my own episodes..."

If the Realm-Walkers words about her condition rung true, she couldn't help it. She's aware of it...and she hates it.

"Aye, it looks as much." I said. I then remembered. "I still need you standing here with me lass...uhh...in case you haven't forgotten my question..."

She blushed, making me go red in the face as well. But she smiled again, which was what I wanted.

"Remind me..." She told me with a smirk. She was doing that on purpose, the tease. I chuckled.

"Alright..." I told her, awkwardly readjusting myself and clearing my throat and flicking out my Amulet.

"By Mara, Petra, will you prove that you're all mine and that I'm all yours by allowing me your soft, supple hand in marriage?"

And the smile she made was one of the biggest I'd ever seen. She just seemed joyous and it radiated off her. It was a wonderous sight to see.

"I hadn't been expecting this so soon, thinking all we talked about with children and marriage would either never occur, that we were being hopeful. But, in actuality, I've much thought about it myself. What better man could I have met, if not the one who's put up with my nonsense and still carried on irregardless. I can't promise it will be easy..." She started. I would never expect it to be.

"But I will say this, until this time and the next, our spirits will find away to find each other, no matter the realm. It is a fate, I will gladly accept. So, yes Brynjolf. I will marry you."

And it was this moment, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. We heard claps from Ayisha and the Nerevarine. I gave Petra and quick peck...no why lie? I gave her a long kiss on the lips as we laid there together in such awkward positions. We hugged one another tightly as we descended into the unknown.

Thank you Sheogorath for giving us this chance. Never thought I'd thank a Daedra.


	90. Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra and Co wander through the Laaglein in the hopes of finding the entrance to the Currents of Time. She also gets to know the Nerevarine a bit better.

 

I'd surmise Bryn was relieved to an extent, but, I have the blood of madness within me, if not, indirectly. I have no idea how that works but irregardless, I am falling down further into this twisted escapade into the unknown. Figuratively and physically speaking.

But Brynjolf's proposal was honest and true and...in all sorts of the word, nothing would bring more joy than our spirits entwined for eternity. If we could make it so. I worry for him though, for I am still uncertain of my own future upcoming and deciding whether I could truly choose the direction I could find myself in. I had been lost in the bloodlust, slaying dragons left and right and their souls burning into me. None of them stood a chance but...the power was overwhelming as I was charged by immortal energies and been controlled by sheer hatred and desire to destroy. It makes me feel like I am one of the dovah, compelled to dominate as Paarthurnax had once told me. And the scars on my face and the azure fire in my eyes had warned me of the consequences of doing so.

Imagine if there as much of me as there of the dragons. Thousands of Dovahkiin in an onslaught to claim each other's souls, but...our spirits themselves would have been risen alongside the mortalkind like we are. I'd think Skyrim would just explode from all the hot-headedness.

For me...am I compelled to destroy myself as a dragon does normally? Or is this just a twisted story of reparations needed to quell the inner most desire? If I could change something, I'd just rid of that and bring true peace. Maybe dragons like Paarthurnax, Durhneviir and Hahnubopraan would appear more often.

But most of all, I could protect those I care about, especially Bryn.

Here we were, however, diving deeper. The boat shifted itself slightly. I had a feeling we were very close. There were no windows or anything to see outside, not until we had arrived at our destination.

I wondered how the Laaglein would deal with us of the awakened state. You know what? I don't care. I just want to get this sorted. I'm tired of all the pain and the crying constantly and force myself to go by what we needed and the trove of information that we had already, should be able to guide us through. Safely? I wouldn't promise it.

The boat tilted and groaned, throwing us around the room. Gods, what was going on out there? Next thing you knew, we were lying on the roof!

After a while of maintaining a balance, I felt a passing wave of energy. Everyone else felt it as well. There needs to be caution amongst us all, as we had no idea what we were going to deal with. Then, after a while, the boat itself tilted again and we were back on the bottom of the room. I keep forgetting this is a ship made by the madgod himself.

The door opened and the plank slapped down automatically, as water dripped from the top and a light that was shining through. I got up first and lead the group outside into the blinding peaks of wherever we were.

Our sight then told us we had gotten us in the clearing, I could see a land, lush with blue flora and a green sky. This definitely had to be the Laaglein.

Once we were safely off the boat, we could see mountains in on the horizon of the thick forest before us. The torchbugs were the only sign I needed to give me the exact location.

"The Silvercore Forest." I muttered.

The Nerevarine seemed...somewhat unimpressed.

"This is supposed to be mystical? I've seen stranger things in Morrowind." He berated.

Ayisha groaned. Whether he was being serious or not, she was irritated by his words. I was secretly amused by their banter.

"It's supposed to be sacred not weird. A realm of Aetherius blessed to those with tired minds. The Silvercore Forest is a central place. All who end up here are lost and need to find themselves again." She explained.

"Those are some tall trees indeed." Brynjolf commented.

I saw someone familiar who faded into view, a red-cloaked woman with cloud coloured hair.

"Realm-Walker, figure we would have seen you at the Battle of Shivering Isles." The Nerevarine pointed out.

She looked at him with a risen eyebrow. He had a point though.

"I've had other matters to take of elf. The Laaglein has given you the Silvercore Forest freely. I am here to escort you all to the matters of the Currents of Time. Particularly, Petra, who is the only one who can."

I nodded. She was the one who told me my heart desires are what transforms the lifeblood of this place. But...I wasn't asleep.

"Magics magic in this place. Your heart and soul are what matter more here than your physical forms." The Realm-Walker mentioned.

I walked alongside the Realm-Walker as we entered the darkened depths of the Forest, met with dozens and hundreds of torchbugs. It was thick, like I had remembered it from last time. Come on heart show me the way.

"Realm-Walker, is it still true on the case that Mama has to...cease to be in order to keep time from destroying itself completely?" Ayisha asked.

The Realm-Walker sighed. It's still a complex matter that I hope to understand eventually.

"It was a solution pertained to the rumors regarding Petra's spirit. That being said, it became increasingly clear that it was either a miscommunication, or circumstances changed. Even so... for far, dire reasons..." She answered.

"What do you mean?" I queried.

She looked down as walked forward, with her hands behind her back.

"I recall Brynjolf mentioning that the Dragonborn was gifted with choice. That is a factor I had forgotten in the equation. A dragons spirit can watch over the time line. He may die, but then time could bring him back." The Realm-Walker realized.

The Nerevarine scratched his head in puzzlement, unsure of what the Realm-Walker was on about.

"She's mortal though. She'll have to die like one eventually, no offense." He stated.

Of old age or otherwise...dying in battle before my real time is up on a conventional sense was a traditional nord expectation.

"Ah but her spirit is eternal. A body may fade, but the spirit lives on, It's complicated matter in terms of where one decides to go. For example a Nord to Sovngarde, a daedric priest who had sold his soul to a daedra to that realm of Oblivion...in the circumstances of ones death, they cannot choose where they go after they had died. Petra can." She stated.

Brynjolf crossed his arms. I'm imagining his poor, exhausted mind trying to grasp the concept.

"So, I've given my soul to Nocturnal. But it's been severed. Do I still go to Evergloam or what ever you call it?" He asked.

I wondered that myself. The Realm-Walker rubbed her chin, and was deep in thought.

"Don't know, but it's possible." She replied. "Theories are theories...not likely sound as much as you want for evidence but that's just my reasons for it. I have a feeling we were miswording the entirety of the situation. It is not Petra's death that has caused time to tear. Simply a calling from Sotrahkun herself, to help fix the tears, possibly by another party." 

I thought in terms I had the three options. I was...more puzzled.

"So, the option to die was never really an choice?" I asked the Realm-Walker.

It was silly, strange question to begin with.

"I'm trying to think...the Regkosot, the woman in white...she had told you to do so to stablize the timestream. Me saving you could not have been the paradox. Time would have mended itself anyway, creating another time line to make up for the fact that because on how the structure works, the other choice was for you to in fact, die. That was never the issue." She stated.

That hurt my head. We still were in the darkest depths of the forest, with no real end in sight. But if I had taken what she said into consideration, there was already a me out there who had died in place because of the choice the Realm-Walker made, not me.

"Are...you the paradox?" The Nerevarine wondered.

Now that's a question I'd never thought to even ask.

"Possibly. But still, a choice is a choice. I have nothing to do with your world or what's in it. I only have what's considered...a spiritual similarity...and I will not say anymore on the subject..." She said.

Spiritually similar? If that's...

"Petra, the Regkosot said choice was an illusion..."

I blinked and looked up, seeing the feathers pouring down around us. I then could see the spirits clustered around us, almost freaking the Nerevarine out as he drew his sword, as did Brynjolf and Ayisha with her spells.

"And if what Brynjolf once said, that perhaps he didn't even know it at the time, that the Gods chose you for a reason...because they knew what you were going to do when the time came. That wasn't a choice. Because your heart would know exactly what to do. Choices are made when there is hesitation in the decision, that going one way or the other could spell out different meanings and different endings. And they could help or hinder us."

That doesn't even make sense. We stopped in the middle of a circular break, with the spirits flowing around us.

"But...I was given three choices. How can that be rendered void?" I wondered out aloud.

The Realm-Walker held one of the feathers in her hand, as her diamond eyes pierced through them with her stare.

"Be that as it may...I would say..it's an illusion to them. Because, what ever way you ultimately decide is how your fate will play out. Who knows, you may have the same power as them. They may have been speaking with you as kin, not as mortal." She continued.

This was definitely hurting my head somewhat.

"So being here and finding the Timestream is still...an option?" Brynjolf wondered. Obviously still worried.

I think I was getting it.

"The spirits around us. You see them and the rain of feathers down from the heavens. The Regkosot worded it nicely. Those who have made their mistakes. For all we know, they could be alternate versions of you who have died for real...and that you're the next one in line." She assumed.

Brynjolf gripped my hand tightly as the spirits discarded their ethereal forms, turning...turning into me. Hundreds of...me. In my thieves guild gear...with that same light brown hair tied up, that thin, bony face, those light blue eyes. All standing still, circling us all with their dead, cold eyes locking on to ours, sending chills down my spine. Gods. How...how as this possible?

"This is what the Timestream is turning into. The time lines are streaming into one another. Why this could be a loop in general...maybe, just maybe. Hm..."

The Nerevarine himself I could see wasn't quite sure what to think, while Ayisha, the poor girl, was just terrified. It's..it's only me?

"Why aren't they in dragon form?" Ayisha said, perplexed at the only question no one ever asked. These people have saved my life more ways than one.

The Realm-Walker tapped her lips.

"True...so true Ayisha. Absolutely no idea. Saying we're on the illusion of choice here really confounds me. Perhaps Dragonborn really do have the gift of choice. They just don't know it." She said, possibly just as confused.

I looked at one of them who stood out from the rest. It...it wanted me to talk to her. Or myself. Or what ever. Gah...

"Hi..." I said weakly, with a bit of a pathetic and awkward wave as I bit my lip afterwards.

The...spirit nodded.

 _"Hi. We're here to help you understand the power you wield Petra..."_  She whispered.

Another spirit stood out, as they all decided to smile.

_"A power, in fact, none of us have."_

Wait what?

"What...what do you mean?" I wanted to know. This was creeping me out. I just...what...

Another stood forward.

" _We are as you, as fallen by Prolg and Zoklotinhaar..._ "

And another...

_"And fallen by other unfortunate methods and other lives ended so soon."_

_"Others by Alduin so quickly..."_

_"Some by bandits of lowly keeping."_

_"Only you had the fear to stay alive."_

_"While we had orders to live."_

_"You lived for orders."_

_"Some have fears like you..."_

_"But your fear kept you alive the longest."_

_"Do not feel sad for our deaths."_

_"Illusion of choice is not for us, spirits of a demigod."_

_"Not tied down to either state, ultimately, it could go either way."_

I looked at the Realm-Walker, who was just staring at me with a knowing, but was studying the spirits themselves. They were me. I was them. I was after them and myself. Now I'm just muddling it all up

"Perhaps the Regkosot was expecting you to die. Maybe somehow you were learning by subconscious example." The cloaked woman explained.

"Or not. Could be a thousand different factors. And they could all be wrong."

I looked at Brynjolf. Come on, say something! He just ran his fingers through his hair. I need your support...

"I don't know what to say. The Realm-Walker is our only input on this. My opinion on this would be that...maybe you were born to win. Somehow...I dunno. Ayisha? Nerevarine?" He muttered. Oh well...

The pair of them sheathed their weapons, and glimpsed over my spirit replicas.

"All have accepted their fates. Alkosh has left choice with Mama. Time is his purvey and it is free for him to use. As Alkosh has given you your power as your Spirit-Father, he may have intended this to happen. Just not in the way we expect." Ayisha worded, examining the spirits freely, then catching a feather in her own hand.

The Realm-Walker crossed her arms, her face distorting as she thought well and hard about what they had said. I couldn't stop thinking about what she said before, giving me a few inklings on who she really was. The torchbugs flew around the raining feathers, the aura of power emanating from them.

"I think the only way we're really going to know for sure, is to find the currents themselves and then I will get the answers we're looking for. Let's keep going." I told them.

They all nodded in tandem, with the Realm-Walker getting a smile on her face. I looked to the spirits one last time, who smiled warmly at me, and waved in sync with one another. Creepy, but then I was always like that. Awkward.

"Thank you..." I whispered as they made way for us to go past, heading back into the midst of the woods.

It was riddling with my head. Feathers kept raining from the sky, piling up like snow around us. Ayisha sneezed, with the one she had in her hand tickling her nose. I rolled my eyes.

Should they have died? Do I still exist because of them? Because of the mistakes I have made? I don't know.

"You are your own spirit Petra. They are you from the other time lines. Other, dragonborn who have died otherwise before their time. Nothing suss about it. It has happened. It is because of the breaking of time and the instability of the Laaglein that it has brought them here. Their spirits are like those of the Amethyst Dragon, built on the original, undistorted desire to protect the currents." The Realm-Walker continued.

The Nerevarine ran forward.

"Does that also mean there are other Dragonborn here? Ayisha told me what the Amethyst Dragons do and that the Dragonborn spirit takes form of the raw, pure original spirit of the dragon." He asked.

Suddenly I'm remembering my time in the Soul Cairn.

"That is true. The Jen Dovah are the original dragons of the Laaglein, but it wasn't uncommon to see them in Mundus, often at Akavir." She stated.

The Realm-Walker smirked.

"The Silvercore Forest has always welcomed Dovahkiin to their humblest abode. Some end up here because they feel it's the right thing to do. So don't be surprised if..."

As I was thinking about the other dragonborn that may have come here in the past, it was then we had come into another open area, with a Talos Shrine sitting there, a lit with candles and the classic Talos statue, accustomed with the torchbugs.

"If Tiber Septim himself were here..." Brynjolf muttered as he stood in front of the statue. I think it would bring him some kind of closure if he were to meet his ancestor. Or not. The look in his eyes and the stunned look on his face made him wonder and question the way that events unfolded before him. I still think he was still absorbing the fact that he was related to a God, of all things. And that the power of this God was what gave the Thalmor a headache somewhat and by extension. Prolg and his ilk the desire to get the dragons back on their non-existent throne.

"Pity he has God's work to do. Rumour has it he's barely struggling to contain the worlds themselves because of the Thalmors stomping around. Stability is hard to come by, and his statue here means he's probably still too busy to talk with anyone. But he's a Dragonborn nonetheless, one of the best that the other dragonborn spirits lurking around built this shrine to let them remind them that they can beat the struggles and maintain order in their way by following his example. Either that, or they were just in awe of the fact." The Realm-Walker said.

I'd known about Talos as much as the next person. And ultimately, you know by now I was never a big one on faith alone. Had I had known I would get into such mystical power and with the Elder Scroll still fixed to my back, surprisingly, I would have prepared myself earlier.

Yet the other spirits, all would have gone in the same direction otherwise. I think. I don't know. Were they members...was it inevitable for me to become a thief? Was there a time and a place where I had chosen a different path?

Or was that the illusion Regkosot was referring to? I'm not so sure. It just seems hypocritical for me to see myself as such and it all seems like it's a what if scenario based on what decisions were made in the past. Do I have to die still? I can't say. It's an enigma that will forever drift in my mind. As a figure of somewhat valuable importance, and it might be my ego talking, but if that's the case, isn't it crucial and the whole idea of being what I am to make those decisions?

It was clashing and conflicting and I honestly still had no clue what to think. To see, myself and all of them looked as if they were happy and content with their lives. Those from other times held no bar of conflict within them. Why would that be?

Will I make the right decision? If, in the case that the gods know and if it all falls to their plan, why am I so unsure about it?

The Silvercore Forest was filled with mystical energies in it's wonders and triumphs. Brynjolf made one small prayer, barely audible as he knelt down before it. I let him be as he continued to make what ever made him feel better, for the God of Man to aid him in his time of need. For a man who claims not to be religious, he honestly needed a lot of faith. I don't necessarily believe he's gonna fall into Priest like habit. I get it, religion isn't for everyone, but I guess you can take a bit from it without being wholly devoted to it's cause. My parents prayed to Zenithar for good harvests and Kynareth for good rain, but to be dedicated? Eh. 

I know he believes in me. That's for certain. Its evident. To take my hand in marriage, is an entire cause in itself. I...I'm tired all the time and it's good to note that I can have truly rely on when the nights get darker than usual, when they get colder than usual. But love isn't religious. Love is a reason. Love is many things and I want to do Bryn proud because of that. Because in reality, true love endures. Or so the stories say...

I suppose I should stop complaining and get on with it. With so much to think about, it's hard to get back on track to see what the goal was. I needed to open my heart for it's desires to shine, for the Laaglein to respond and to see what I needed.

* * *

The Nerevarine stared at the statue. For a Dunmer I didn't expect him to understand a lot about nord traditions, but he watched all the same. And Ayisha herself, well, it's a nords honour to give as much as you got in battle and out. While I may come from the southern lands, I'm still a nord girl at heart.

That's how it is and how it should be. The Nerevarine and Ayisha weren't part of the same level of understanding, but they had experienced enough to know where their own beliefs lied. Ayisha herself was a wealth of religious revenue and the Nerevarine himself, according to his accomplishments had defeated Gods before. It really got me wondering. I sat down next to him on a bench nearby, watching Bryn and Ayisha join him in ceremony.

"Nere, was it hard to defeat the Tribunal? If you don't mind me asking..." I said

He smiled.

"If you're asking me whether or not it was easy at all, the answer is no. Nothing like this is ever easy. The tribunal were a bunch of s'wit-whacking hypocrites and a mad bunch of louts. They'd stolen power from the Gods to make themselves Gods courtesy of the Heart of Lorkhan. They were so smug underneath their falsehoods and their forced smiles. Almalexia was the worst. Vivec was...the least annoying. But back then, it's hard to see now with Morrowind covering in too much ash to see what ever happens. I turned to drink after all the corprus kerfuffle." He replied, surprisingly.

My face distorted with confusion.

"You had a drinking problem?" I asked him.

I can see I'm not only one dealing with God problems.

"Depressing I know. Like you, I was pulled around by Aedra and Daedra and for all the madness that transpired after all the nonsense on Solstheim, becoming immortal wasn't exactly the beneficial attribute that I once cherished. I hung out at Raven Rock for a while, drinking away my days and watched time pass by. It was fine after a while, then you realize the horrors of men who age far quicker and other older dunmer dying from natural causes. Neloth, a great Telvanni wizard remained on Solstheim, but I had left to travel Tamriel to ease my troubles. I never forgot the odd drink here and there before visiting Akavir." He continued.

I nodded. I could see why death was sometimes necessary. It's also something the God Arkay wouldn't particularly like seeing.

"You must have been lonely." I said, he had to be. No one else was like him at the time.

"Occasionally." He answered in sombre. "I was thinking of continuing on with mercenary work...but heh...I would have charged more because of my status...especially when it comes to dealing with Cliff Racers."

Makes me think I should have asked for more pay. Meh.

"Obviously. I know what you mean. Part of this prophecy stuff? I went to the Thalmor Embassy, met up with the Jarl of Whiterun who barely recognized me." I said.

I told him how, the Jarl himself was going to offer me, as the girl like, a Thane position and a housecarl for my services to the hold...and a house! If I had the money. I think that's what Thane's get anyway.

The Nerevarine smiled.

"From what Ayisha's told me about you, you ran to Riften instead. That true?" He questioned.

I nodded with shame. Oh geez do we have to bring that up again?

"Yes. Look, it's a phobia thing. My cowardice threw me there." I admitted. "Probably for the better I think. Or else I wouldn't have met Bryn."

He leaned back.

"Don't be ashamed of being scared. It's natural." He said, trying to assure me.

I looked at him skeptically.

"Because hurling the contents from your stomach is a natural reaction from seeing a dragon. Yeah, right..." I muttered.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I don't think I ever got to know the Nerevarine as a person, rather than the legend. He seemed amicable enough. But...

"Listen, Petra, take it from me. Time has shown me a wide variety of people and there are those like you all over the place. It's a reaction people can have trust me. And I was once like you, apathetic to the world. You'll be amazed how much you and I have in common." He explained.

Other than being screwed up destined saviours? I seriously need to question the logic of those in the above planes. Looking at the Nerevarine, he seemed within a youthful vigor, his face wasn't as aged, but you can tell at a glance in those red eyes of his that he had seen a lot, and that his black, long hair was not just because he looked after it as well.

I sat back and sighed, I looked up and saw only darkness above us.

"We are but mortals and pawns to the powers around us." I said with a monotone.

"What do they stand to gain?"

The Nerevarine shrugged, pulling out a bottle of a blue hue, like marble and of odd edges and a smooth surface, out of his gear.

"This is Emberbrand Wine. A gift from from my days in Solstheim." He told me.

I eyed him strangely.

"You have kept this bottle for two hundred years?" I asked him.

He laughed.

"Oh come on, it's not the worst thing. You'll feel better from drinking it trust me." He claimed with a grin.

I scratched my head.

"And I thought you would have given up drinking by now. And besides, while it probably won't kill you, it certainly won't kill me....at least, I should assume so that I don't end up throwing it up." I said.

I looked at the bottle and run my fingers up and down it and snatched it from the dunmer and scanned his face for any deception. I took the lid off it and gave it a whiff. Hmmmm subtle smell, didn't seem off. He nodded for me to take a drink. I still had more questions to ask him.

"So...what do you truly desire now after all this time?" I questioned. And by the look on his face, he seemed surprised.

"Me? Desire? Hah...the only desire for me is a good drink. To chase away the woes for just a small amount of time." He joked.

Figures.

"So you haven't been drinking since you got here." I stated, curious. Still don't know if I want to taste this.

His slight chuckle worried me.

"Oh I am offended, sera. I take in the small amount when you're not looking. While you were trained in the shadows I was born in them. Only take a split second off me and bam, already taken a sip." He said. I wasn't sure if he was being serious.

I wasn't impressed.

"Charming." I said sarcastically. "But seriously though, I guess what I meant is, that you have time at your fingertips yourself to do what you can and when you can."

He grumbled.

"Immortality breeds a procrastinator out of you and it's a struggle to know not everyone will live as long. I've been across Tamriel and I actually have to admit this is the most...adventurous journey I've been on for a long time. For over two hundred years in fact. So thank you." He said, bringing up a similar feeling I had once.

Don't really think that's worthy for gratitude but meh.

"Alright so you want to go back to Akavir then...fair enough." I stated, staring down the neck of the bottle.

He shrugged.

"Maybe. I haven't seen all of it yet. The Akaviri knew more about us than we did about them. It's still worth looking at. You should come with when this is all over. Find out the secrets, make a fortune...drink all the wine and mead you like. It'll be fun, I promise!" He said, sounding more like Sheo.

I looked at Bryn. I wouldn't want to leave him behind, unless he wanted to come along. I wanted to settle down with him, now that we had no Guild to run back to. I'd been worked up not to see that far, so bogged down with the intention of dying for a cause that I ultimately would have no future.

"I don't know if I'll survive this Nere...I honestly don't want Brynjolf to be alone. The Guild was part of us. If he wanted to go...I can't say."

He nodded.

"Understandable, understandable. You just need to have your chin up and your mind strong. And convinced by strong drink. So drink!"

I sighed. I took a deep breath before sipping down a considerable amount, before I realised my mouth was burning and my throat had lava stuck in it. I was left choking as the Nerevarine patted my back.

"Haha! It's your first time drinking it? Yeah it's an acquired dunmer taste I'm afraid." He stated, not even concerned in tone.

I glared at him.

"You trying to kill me?" I scorned.

He laughed.

"Of course not!"

* * *

After that little break, Bryn and Ayisha had finished off what ever silent sermon they had for themselves and we continued down our way to the Silvercore Forest. I wondered how we would bring the entrance to the Timestream to ourselves.

The Nerevarine had revealed a part of himself that I had not known. Like it was stated, that I had known him more as the chosen of legend, not the chosen of reality and that it is shared amongst all that have a greater power, the pressure that mounts against you to succeed. Even so, he treated his position as both a curse and a blessing in itself. He'll outlive us all definitely, but would forever have a story to tell those who would have the ears to listen.

And the spirits long gone. They would want me to succeed to where they had failed. They want me to learn from their mistakes. Or...for me to learn from my own mistakes. Gah.

I still desire to return to normality. If I had it my way, I would have the Guild back to normal and for life itself to flow from then on. To have the Cistern back, to have Thalmor running off from Skyrim like damned cowards, for the Civil War to cease and for us to have peace.

_Thankfully, I still have the power to change the world for the better, either way._


	91. Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf understands how hard faith is to maintain.

 

I have to admit. This keeps getting stranger and stranger. There's a reason why we never see this stuff all the time. It's because it's insane and can give you a headache if you think too much about it.

For now, I could do with more faith. Seeing the Shrine of Talos in it's glorious within this mysterious forest condemned me to see more than past the irritating rites and rituals.

This may sound crazy, but it's as if, he was watching me from above, judging my every move. You can say that about all the Gods. But as he was once man, it certainly has a different feel about it. He wasn't there from the beginning. But he'll see to it, to the end if he has to. And the Thalmor hate that. They want Gods who are sound and perfect. They see themselves as the mirror image of the Gods. And it just makes you want to smash them in the face.

I'd avoid conflict but you just have to be prepared and always be prepared. Stuff like this will happen eventually. It's the agonizing pain of knowing that amongst ourselves that we have the power to hurt simply because we have our innate desires and hatreds for others, for those who are nothing more, than existing and the way they exist is somehow offensive to them. I call them weak minded and unable to get their minds off one strict structure they followed.

Back in the Guild, we didn't care who you were, as long as you do the job, do it clean and do it well. Everything else is your business. Because we were all similar in that regard. We were all sneaks who cared nothing but themselves. But we had our honour and code to stick by, which gave us more of an advantage than your common bandit.

The Thalmor from what I've heard are painstakingly picky to what categories people stick to. You either fit their criteria or you don't. There's hardly any grey area. Unfortunately as much you want people to be open minded, you will find there are generally assholes like this who live in this world. And you have to live with it. You can stand up if you like, see where that takes you. But then you'll find yourself on the end of the Black Sacrament if you do. Once that's passed, you won't live to see another day.

I live pretty much by Petra's fathers words, that which has become Petra's own. To do what I hate, in order to survive. And it fits all of the above. Not to say I don't enjoy thieving, it's the only trade I know how to do and how to do it well. Amongst the other jobs that nobody likes doing. So while my intentions were to help out as much as possible, I am forced to the religious side of the spectrum, tending to what little faith I had in the world to begin with and all out just cling on to by a mere thread.

I found myself dealing with not just Talos...but Akatosh and Mara...and Nocturnal herself who doesn't need a lot to get on her good side which is just like the Guild. Do it clean and do it well.

In this sense, we're still dealing with the Gods work in the likes of this forest. Lush, thick and just had glowing insects absolutely everywhere. Here's me, in a position I hadn't found myself in since Kynesgrove and pleading for my ancestors to guide and protect the woman I love.

This was her word against the worlds. And she had every right to have a say in it. She's paid the price for her burdens and her lack of true self-esteem. She is better than what she thinks she is, believing she was small minority just given this power for no reason. Saying that, the look in her eyes as she talked with the Nerevarine just means she just needs people to care for, to find a reason for it all and not wander in blindly without knowing who she was supposed to be protecting and saving. He's an elf who can handle himself no problem, but I think she just needs to speak with people more often. The lass was never truly social when I had first met her, but..that may be because events changed her outlook and I was prepared to get her to see the world for what it truly was. Yes it was filled with arrogant, smug people who's only purpose is to usurp power to fuel their insatiable egos. But, then there were people like Ayisha, people those we meet in the inns, like those we buy our products from...and sell to, they may have the front of what ever stick was up their ass recently, but they know loyalty and those who treat them well enough will get rewarded.

So it's not just faith in the Gods...just faith in each other to see it through till the end. Because Petra deserves that much.

* * *

The forest was endless, or it was like that anyway amongst the high canopies that covered the skies. The Realm-Walker and Petra continued their stride like nothing was wrong, yet, it felt like we were going in circles. The spirits lingered around us...whether they were the time bled spirits like Petra or something else I couldn't tell. No one else appeared bothered. Maybe it was just me.

"Do we know where we're going? Feels like we've been walking for hours." I noted.

The Realm-Walker looked at Petra.

"Ask Petra." She said.

What?

The lass appeared stunned as she looked at the Realm-Walker right back.

"Wait, you're depending on me to know the way? I was following you!" Petra said in retaliation.

The white-haired woman groaned.

"I told you! Your heart will lead the way. Or...are you scared?" The Realm-Walker stated, as if daring Petra to make a reaction.

Petra went wide eyed as shook her head, offended.

"No-no! I'm not! I want this to be over and done with!" Petra claimed.

The Realm-Walker tilted her head. I agree with Petra. This is more than any mortal could comprehend.

"Really? Perhaps your subconscious doesn't. Something holding you back? I was only walking and waiting for you to accept it already. Seems we're still not sure." She stated/

The Nerevarine appeared a bit agitated. I'm with him on that too.

"So we're waiting for her to do what exactly? You can't just force someone to just...feel a certain way. It has to be natural!" He stated.

I rubbed my head. By Shor, here we go.

"What is it Petra? Tell us. What's on your mind?" The Realm-Walker asked as she started to peg her to get her to get this supposed Timestream to appear.

I could tell she was under pressure. None of this could be easy for her. I was just...also curious to what was holding her back. She gritted her teeth.

"It may be easy for you to just say oh yes I know what to do and where to go because I am miss been there and done that. You're so powerful, why don't you summon it?" Petra roared.

Petra had a point. The Realm-Walker needn't be so flowery in context.

"That's not how it works Petr-"

"BECAUSE IT'S NEVER HOW IT WORKS DOES IT?" Petra shouted, I could honestly see the fire in her eyes light up again. It actually scared Ayisha, slightly.

"Petra-" I muttered. I understand how she's agitated, but we'll get nowhere if she gets angry.

She just pointed a finger in my face and spoke calmly.

"Bryn just stay out of this." She ordered.

She then went back to the Realm-Walker, who was neutral to her scorn.

"I've had enough of the shit you're coughing up lately. You wanna know what's on my mind? Doubt. Doubt clouds my mind. I'm supposed to believe in what ever crap you feed me. I'm just one..."

She took a deep breath. Signs she knew what she was doing and slowed herself down a tad.

"I'm just one person. It's not that I don't appreciate the help. From you. From all of you. And I am forever thankful to have people who want to understand...but when your next step involves dealing with something mortals should never touch it makes me fear that I will do something horribly wrong and end up making it worse."

I patted her back and rubbed her shoulder. She made herself tense...but I can see where her frustrations were coming from. The Realm-Walker absorbed what she had said and put thought into her feelings. I'm trying to think where she has her fountain of wisdom tucked away.

"We all seek to replenish the vitality of our spirits. Either through a blessed feasting or through the words of war, the throe of battle or the accomplishment of a feat. Because it boosts our confidence within ourselves to know what we were doing was right and it feels good. Get's us pumped for the next challenge. Your mind is stuck in the phase of the reward. Like all thieves aspire for in the end. You have a phenomenal success rate when it comes to this. I wouldn't discard that skill so easily. But being a thief requires trickery, thought and planning. This is different." The Realm-Walker explained.

Thinking of the endgame rather than the current situation...huh...

"Obviously." Petra stated, being her snarky self as she crossed her arms.

The Realm-Walker smirked. Petra was right though, that all-knowingness does get irate.

"Your goal is unknown and you do not know what to plan for. The only things you have is knowing where you have to go with the right tools necessary. If you feel what you have to do comes natural to you then by all means do it. Fearing it means you will be careful about it and will take the right steps in getting there as soon as possible." The Realm-Walker continued.

I looked at Petra, who was giving that a good think. If she feels and does not think too harshly..I think that's where the Realm-Walker was getting at.

"The nature of the beast." The Nerevarine commented.

"Instinct is important."

Or I'd like to call it, trusting my gut.

"Our mortal minds would like to know everything but we cannot. We can try but we always fail. Our lives are too short to worry about the unimportant facts. You do what matters. And what matters to your heart." Ayisha explained.

I had to agree. It's by laws of human nature to discover the unknown to satiate our inborn curiosities. Petra's issue was to be known. In order to get what she needed, Petra would often find out a lot of information about the target and ask many questions in order get it done quickly and efficiently before anyone had noticed that something had changed. She knows where to go and what to use, but she doesn't know what to do.

Petra sighed. I think this was getting a bit too complicated for her to handle. And it was stressing her out as much as it started to rain.

"That's normal?" The Nerevarine asked as he looked up.

The Realm-Walker looked at Petra and squinted...then shook her head.

"No. Petra's not causing this. We're not alone here." She stated, her tone suspicious.

Ayisha rose an eyebrow. If this is what I thought it was...we're about to get into more trouble.

"Why does Ayisha get the feeling that you're not referring to the spirits?" She said, also worried.

The other lass nodded.

"Let's move quickly." The Realm-Walker suggested. "Petra, remember the Temple of Akatosh? We need to head there-"

All I could was a large strike of lightning striking us nearby.

"Strange. I didn't hear anyone shout." 

Petra looked at her. I could sense her feeling of dread.

"Wait, this is part of a shout?" She asked.

The Realm-Walker became cautious of the atmosphere.

"It resembles the Storm Call shout. But I don't recall hearing it. Damn it. They must have gone through." She said.

Oh Gods. Really...

"Wait, you can't be serious. They're here?" The Nerevarine complained.

Petra grunted.

"Fantastic. This is great we-"

A huge gust of wind almost knocked us all over. Ayisha's face beamed as she looked at another path being formed.

"The Silvercore Forest has heard your pleas Mama. Let it guide us to safety!" She cried.

Petra made no hesitations on that. We all agreed and sprinted down the new pathway.

* * *

The rain became heavy and the thunderstorms became louder that it made our hearts beat hard like drums. We were running from the terrible onslaught of the swarm that had somehow made it's way to this realm. This wasn't good. Like Ayisha had mentioned, the forest listened to Petra...at least I think it did, as it carved an escape for us.

"Might I ask, where is this going?" The Nerevarine questioned. Astute question.

"No idea. Petra?" I relayed.

Whether she knew or not...

"I just wanted to get away from them...that's all!" She cried.

We kept running, having no idea where were heading in the midst of the storm itself. We came across ancient ruins, more like the Akaviri stuff we found at Sky Haven Temple. Petra took out her Dragonbane blade and it felt like ruins the further we got in...

We were out of the storm at least as Ayisha cast a candlelight spell as we wandered through the caverns. Petra held my hand, possibly a bit scared. Her face didn't show it, though. It was steel faced as she looked forward. That's all she needed to do. You might chastise her for her own cowardice. People forget she's only human, just one with extraordinary abilities she never asked for. Grown in a sheltered lifestyle, only to be whipped up in this mess against her own will.

To me, she strives to find her own strength. And strength in unity is not a bad thing. She'll tell you she wants to do it alone so she can prove herself. I may have said this many times before, but she'll bounce back from the hellish realms of despair. She just needs help. That is also, not a bad thing.

She appears if she adorns those scars with pride. Pride of her actual strength in the whirlwind of her power that can make known if you push the wrong buttons. And her energy, while she may state her uncertainty, seems to come from from the eagerness to find the answer and conquer to that to what she truly wishes to slay. We're all in over our heads here and she's the only one to admit it.  
The ruins contained etches of ancient times...many carvings of dragons and the cultists that served them. Perhaps the stories that echoed throughout the ages. That sort of rubbish. Worth a lot to scholars, but from what I had heard about the Laaglein, it likes to change a lot, owing to it's instability as mental influences. So what the Realm-Walker had told me. It was like the drawings on Alduin's Wall.

The Nerevarine studied these intently. I'd almost forgotten he'd been in Akavir so he would have most certainly seeing carvings like this before.

"Strange." He spoke, breaking the silence. Ayisha studied it as well, shining her light on the detail.

"The story demonstrates the Akaviri people encountering my ancestors, the chimer as they discuss the properties of CHIM." The Nerevarine worded.

"A considerable feat involving being able to achieve godhood by escaping all laws and limitations. It not unlike the story of the Tribunal...in fact. Brynjolf, your ancestor, Tiber Septim, is another prime example, of how he, at the behest of his latter years, reshaped Cyrodiil for which was once a jungle-filled land and now with a decent weather pattern and structure."

Petra tapped the Elder Scroll on her back.

"Except it's plausible that he used this Elder Scroll to transform himself into Talos." She stated.

Also a good theory.

"Doesn't discount those facts. The Tribunal used the Heart of Lorkhan and became powerful underneath those circumstances. It wouldn't surprise me that the Elder Scroll could do the same." Nere continued.

Too many ways to achieve Godhood these days.

"Prolg told me that he was going to use the Elder Scroll on me. Does that mean he wanted to transform...me in a God?" Petra asked.

"What would be the purpose of that?" The Nerevarine wondered. I did to. Seemed a bit strange.

"Back in the Soul Cairn, Prolg said he wanted for me to transform into a Dragon to fight Alduin on equal grounds. Somehow he'd use the Scroll to denounce my oath to Nocturnal." Petra explained.

That could explain why the Guild was destroyed. But could the Elder Scroll be to blame? No. We had the Elder Scroll...unless...

That night in the Temple of the Divines. Priest...tell me what happened...

…

Nothing. What are you playing at?

"But I am still connected to Molag Bal. I can still summon his mace in my hand! He said himself, the process was related to the Gods somehow. That I could use the power of all them, barring Stendarr due to my status as Champion and Nightingale. Now that I no longer have access to Nightingale abilities, it's safe to say that's gone. Don't know if it matters that I am in part attached to him." Petra explained.

Of course. And...oh.

"Does Sheggorath count?" Ayisha pointed out. "But Mama never pledged her soul. It was Sheggorath's decision to help her without selling herself to be his Champion." The Khajiit pointed out.

Petra nodded, she looked distant in contemplation.

"Doubt it. I never did anything. Everything was his own doing." She said, giving off the increased frustration with every word.

This was just getting messier by the moment. And we were only going to find out by proceeding further.

The Nerevarine studied the carvings that were etched across the wall, trying to fetch it's meaning. He rubbed his chin, his eyes rolling over all the drawings, trying to find the story behind them.

"Does have a bit about the Tribunal. The timings off though. Wasn't even aware they knew what was going on." He muttered.

The Realm-Walker folded her arms.

"They were a foretelling force, able to predict many a certain thing. They had decent clairvoyance. Remember, this is the Laaglein speaking to us in terms that we'll be able to comprehend. The scripture here is simply tell us that we need to use the Elder Scroll for specific purpose. To transform Petra into either a dragon, a god...even both." She suggested.

Petra wasn't too thrilled, going by the disgusted look on her face.

"I'll pass." She said unenthusiastically.

The Nerevarine had this bemused expression on his face.

"Oh now who's the, been there done that sort of gal huh?" He taunted.

The lass rolled her eyes.

"Shut it you." Petra spoke back in reaction.

We heard a howling wind gust into the ruins, giving off an indicator that we had to make a move on.

And none of us disagreed to that, running down into the depths of the cave.

* * *

"Ayisha thinks we're close..ears hear a stream of rushing water!" The Realm-Walker revealed.

About time.

We could see a light at the end of the tunnel and made a break for it. Once we had existed, all we could see, was white. White as the clouds themselves. Actually, I'm sure it was clouds.

"Awfully foggy." The Nerevarine commented.

Petra's hand was still in mine as we kept close. We could see the ground beneath us, but no much else.

"We're close. Very close." Petra said calmly.

I was trying get a glimpse of anything as we searched the area. I was worried we were going to bump or worse fall into the Timestream as it was without much to look upon and discuss as we normally do. The air felt cool with a small gusts of wind. I could hear the howling. We must have been on the edge of a mountain or something similar. The sky was either not there or it was overcast. What bizarre weather.

"Mama!" Ayisha cried out.

We ran towards the direction of Ayisha's voice, only to skid to a halt when we saw bright blue water.

The wind ceased, but the fog itself was extremely thick, yet, it was like this stream was in the eye of it. Or what ever. The water glistened from the light above. I couldn't tell if it was the sun or not. But it was just...bright all over.

We all stood on the edge, overlooking the mystical river. This had to be it, for sure. Petra was staring intently into it. Her heart. I squeezed her hand, getting her attention. She looked at me with a simple expression. I had a feeling on where this was going.

"So...we're here?" Said the Nerevarine, who was just trying to make sure we were all on the same page.

The Realm-Walker stood before the river bed, dipping the toe of her boot into the water and drawing something in it. The shadows of the ripples themselves had more of a sparkle, if nothing else. The lass looked at us all and nodded.

If you were to ask me, with all the crap that's gone on, it was hard to believe that it was really that simple. Or it wasn't. Either way. I wasn't going to define my life within it's impossible waters, to scry for any way that this might end. Petra's grip tightened. I knew she was scared.

I squeezed back.

"Is this it then?" asked Petra, her voice shaky.

Everyone just stared into the blue depths. Who knows what it was like in there. It's own realm within the realm here. Makes your head spin.

"Do you have everything you need Mama?" Ayisha asked.

Petra failed to reply. I squeezed her hand again.

"Petra?"

Her eyes were crystallized in the way she had them locked on to the stream. This were the real Currents of Time. Or, just like majority of the things we've encountered lately, it was just taking shape into something we all understood. Or neither.

" ** _RYAAAAA.._.** " We heard the screeches of a dragon nearby. We all readied ourselves for battle as we heard the noise of the dragons coming in further.

"Petra, get into the Timestream now." The Realm-Walker shouted.

The lass gritted her teeth. I had a feeling she would running it all in her mind. I'd do the same, if I was about to jump into some unknown dimension. 

"I can fight!" She replied with pride in her tone.

The Realm-Walker didn't seem to be happy with that answer.

"Idiot! You go in there or you die!" She screamed.

Petra braced herself. She had the inborn lust to fight and to empower herself. Her eyes were glowing with the strangest of magics. Like the souls of the dragons within her all cried out for murder.

"I can't risk any of you dying for me." Petra stated.

"Not now! Not ever!"

If anything, I could sense her hidden courage.. She pulled out the Dragonbane and kept watch of anything that came close by, while the Realm-Walker waved her hands about, chanting some kind of spell, with a orange orb in the right hand and a blue orb in the other and a fierce expression.

"WHEATLEY! CHELL! WAKE UP! I SUMMON YOU!" She screamed.

She slammed the two orbs on the ground, warping in the Elf and the Mute we had met before.

Chell was that blue-eyed lass and the Elf must have been Wheatley. The two donned their robes, Chell using some kind of weird bow. Looked like it was made of Dragonbones, as did Wheatley's greatsword. Spellsword? He rubbed his ear.

"Ah God love did you have to shout so loud? Slamming the orbs on the ground is bad enough with your screaming in our ears...gah..." Wheatley complained.

Chell was vigilant, remaining silent. She turned to her master.

"Guys, we're in deep here. Petra must be protected as she goes into the time stream. Protect her at all costs!" The Realm-Walker ordered them.

The pair of them nodded in affirmation, coming out in front with me and the Nerevarine, who had his blade ready.

"This could be interesting." The Dunmer commented.

The ground rumbled and shook violently. This was it.

The first thing I saw was the ebony black wings of Alduin souring above us, alongside a horde of other dragons and saw Draugr raining from the sky. This dragon was good with quantity...much less said about the quality the better.

" **BO...VOND UFT!"**

Next thing I knew, I could see Petra flying around in the air as she disappeared in the fog, probably to follow Alduin. No lass. Don't.

"For goodness sake why didn't anyone try and stop her?" The Realm-Walker whinged, then sighed.

"Oh well."

She stood forward herself and stared into the sky.

" **BO...VOND UFT!** "

Wait, she knew that shout as well? What was...

Except for the Dragon wings, the Realm-Walker's wings at first were ethereal wings like a butterflies, except they had formed solidly, and the colour was like that of moths. Okay then. So the Realm-Walker went to go chase Petra, while the rest of us were here, fighting off the endless supply of Draugr.

"Forget them! Just worry about yourselves!" Wheatley cried out, slicing the head off a hulking draugr, much to his surprise.

Chell was busy piercing her arrows to worry too much about what else was going on, and the Nerevarine used his quickness and the agility of his feet to make speedy slashes, jumping about and stabbing Draugr left and right. I was concerned about Petra, but right now I had to look after these people.

Ayisha used her firey magic on the Draugr, burning a lot of them to a crisp. Cat has a lot of good magic expertise. She'd saved my life many times. I think. Or she was healing. Either / or. She had made sure she had her wards up as some of the draugr had their own spells to use. Ayisha wasn't going to let them get them get passed her,

 **"Fus...Ro DAH!** "

The wave of thu'um sent her flying all of a sudden the split second she had dropped her ward, stunning her and sending her flying, dropping her into the Timestream.

"AYISHA!" I shouted. I wanted to go in and save her, before being stopped by the Nerevarine.

"Don't! We'll lose you too!" He pointed out. By the look on his face, he was slightly distressed in losing her.

No...Petra is not going to be too pleased about that. And I wasn't too pleased myself. I had Rahkes guiding me as I combated the Draugr, slicing their throats.

Damn right I was pissed off. I hope she'd be alright. It'd have to convince Petra to go into the Stream, as horrible as that sounds, but...Ayisha....I'm sorry.

You do not treat the Mane of the Khajiit like that.

And you certainly do not hurt the adoptive daughter of my fiance like that. That's just not on!

( _"Now I reap my revenge!"_ )

Oh my...Zoklotinhaar...I was wondering where you'd gone off to. I'll send to Prolg to Sheogorath to give him the worst death ever imagined. For now, decimating these draugr will do.

(" _I shall destroy them. The other Dragon Priests. Let's do this Brynjolf. We shall slay the false believers and cast them to Oblivion!"_ )

I felt the power of Zoklot surround me in his Dragon-Priest gear, donning his infamous mask as the other priests approached us in their strongest form of magic.

(DIR NIVZAH RAGNAVIR)

The Priests attempted to take us down with a myriad of their destruction spells.

(VOKUN AAK ZEY)

The increased speed and vigor was a welcome boost. I could barely avoid their attacks. Must have been twelve of them. I could see the Nerevarine, Chell and Wheatley come to my aid. Where was Petra and the Realm-Walker? I couldn't see them, but I could see dragon bodies falling from the sky.

Gods...

_("She needs the necklace Sheogorath gave you before she goes inside.")_

Why's that?

( _"Trust me, I know what that thing is. It's essence quivers in range of your blood as it does for Petra. I can feel it."_ )

Really? I can't.

( _"The Nerevarine can handle himself. Get Petra to the timestream...now!"_ )

I gulped as I rolled out of the way of an ice shot. More Draugr incoming...where were they all coming from? Surely there's not that many...

I turned to the Dunmer.

"Hey, I'm going to find Petra...you gonna be alright elf?" I asked him, cleaving my blade with another, then spun around to stab a draugr in the chest and pushing it off it with my foot.

The Nerevarine smiled devilishly.

"Oh you go find your lover girl, serjo. It's nothing that the Nerevarine can't handle.  Just make sure she finds Ayisha." He told me.

I nodded as we clashed out blades in place of shaking our hands. He cried into the air and threw himself back into the fray alongside Chell and Wheatley.

"For Morrowind!"

I smirked.

( _"Time to fly."_ )

* * *

I shot up in the air after I summoned the wings and shot through the clouds. I could hear horrific screams, shrilling but draconic. I had a bad feeling about this. I avoided the onslaught of dragons shouting around me, slicing them as I flew past. This was not honestly my domain. Preferring to steal trinkets, not lives. I still couldn't understand where all these reinforcements were coming from. I could see the Realm-Walker floating there, staring at the storm forming before her. I flew beside her and watched the battle of destiny unfold.

Petra and Alduin clashed as Alduin shouted fire. She rolled sideways out of the way, holding the glistening Dragonbane, bathed in blood, in her hands. The scars looked the same from before. That explains the dragon's falling from the sky.

"Admit it Alduin, you're done. Send  _allllll_  your friends after me...I'll take em all, one by one!" She shouted. Her voice had those creepy inflections again, like those of a thousand voices. Her eyes were menacing, sending dread into my stomach.

"Hah...you are skilled, Dovahkiin. While I will not be satisfied until your joor head falls on to the abyss, I still demand an equal battle on equal ground. I will destroy everything until you give into these demands. Are you willing to let tiid fall?" He taunted her.

Petra appeared frustrated, baring her teeth at him. It must have been underneath the aura from her shout, but it looked as if her teeth were as sharp was when she was a vampire.

"I have absorbed all this power Alduin! Dozens of the souls of your brothers live within me. Possibly hundreds before we are done here. What more do you need me to eat?" She boasted, pointing her blade at him.

I'd prefer her not to overindulge on such things.

"It does not make you less mortal. All it does is proves your recklessness to me. Your thu'um will never be superior to mine. Until that day comes to where you shake off that breaking piece of flesh, I will not fight you any further. Meet me at the Maas. You have the Kel to do so. Until then, my infinite forces will flatten your land until it is nothing left for me to destroy!" He said.

He flew downwards at a quickened pace as Petra screamed and attempted to follow him as he entered the depths of the Timestream for himself, only for the Realm-Walker to intervene and stop her before she went too far. I flew over, trying to get her to see sense.

* * *

"This is what you get for not listening to orders." The Realm-Walker scolded, using little strength in her arm as she gripped Petra's bicep.

That wasn't Petra at all. That was the full revelation of her dragon self. The way her face was twisted and consumed by the infallible hatred.

"What? He's gone into the Timestream! Happy now?" Petra screeched.

I took a deep breath as I removed the mask.

"Petra, listen to me. You can't let this get to you. He's playing you for a reason. You need to go find Ayisha, she's fallen into the Stream." I told her.

The Realm-Walker agreed.

"Bryn's right. You need to get your ass into the Timestream now, do what you have to and ensure Ayisha's alright...but you must be extremely careful. We can do what we can to hold back the forces at bay. When you're in there, you have to swim through the time stream itself. You will encounter huge rips to other places in time. Petra is normally cautious isn't she?" She said with a soft grin, caressing her face.

I looked at Petra's face as she realized.

"I am." Petra replied softly, as her eyes widened.

"I'll save Ayisha. I promise you."

The Realm-Walker bobbed her head. How did she calm her like that?

"Good. Now. As I said, it's going to be extremely dangerous in there. I know for sure your sanity will take a beating. Stay strong and you will prevail. We all have faith in you. Bryn, I'll leave you with her." She said to both of us.

I nodded in thanks as she flew back down to the fray. I would have considerable promise in that lass, I just know it. I looked at Petra, who had tears coming from her eyes. It's okay to cry. I know she's scared. I caressed her cheek and thumbed the increased scars, giving off the same blue glow, like they were threatening to rip her face open. Shor knows I wouldn't allow that to happen.

She started shaking as I took her into my arms. Let it all out.

"I don't know what to do Bryn." She wailed, her voicing high pitched and cracking.

I felt my own tears rolling down my face. This was incredibly painful for me as well.

"Neither do I lass. But that's just the chance we need to take. I can imagine the enormous pressure on you to succeed. But like she said, you just need to trust your instinct on this." I assured her.

I didn't want to lose her. The only thing I could do for her to is allow her to go. I didn't want to. It was getting increasingly hard not too.

I heard the roars of more dragons nearby. I took another deep breath. Easy Bryn, easy.

"I love you, you know." I told her.

"And while it's not a wedding ring just yet, Sheogorath wanted you to have this..."

I took out the red amulet from my pocket and draped it around her neck. She sniffed and appeared confused.

"He said to give to you. I don't know what good it'll do. But...he believes in you...and so do I."

She bit her lip as she attempted to stop crying. I smiled at her. She then just randomly grabbed my head and forced her lips on mine. Those sweet, chapped lips of hers and the great taste of her tongue as we made face. I missed that. I wanted it again. I wanted to feel that again. She better come of that alive or else. I don't think she would want to break that promise to me.

We parted and stared at each other. Go Petra...go...

She let go of me and flew back, holding on to the amulet and readied herself. I nodded and saluted to her.

"Good luck lass. You're going to need it."

She nodded and smiled. My heart melted a little.

"Your faith is my luck." She said.

"..and you know I love you back right?" She assured me.

I'll always smile at those words. Words I'll never tire of hearing.

"Aye I do. Now go kick ass!" I told her.

She reluctantly went back further, before shooting down faster than I had ever seen as she braced herself, flying into the Timestream head on.

_"Thanks lass. For everything. But I know, we'll see each other again real soon."_


	92. The Currents of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra begins her search to find Sotrahkun, but finds unusual obstacles along the way.

 

I was alone here. All alone. Yet, I could see the thousands of people. To be. Yet to be. And their skeletons that dragged along in the dirt.

Okay I lie..I don't know how to describe it other than it's pretty much grey and rocky. But it's mostly just like I had fallen into another cave or something. Below me was a creek of normal, ordinary water. The atmosphere felt ordinary, like I had gone to raid some ruins for the ancient treasure at the end. Perhaps I had gone in feeling like the Timestream itself was something dramatic. I was a little disappointed, but I proceeded nonetheless.

I admit I am nothing but a scaredy-khajiit, crying all the time (No offence to Ayisha, who I still had to find). It's not a good look for a nord. Yes I am extremely worried that it might just decide to just...go out on me. I have that type of luck nobody wants. Even when Nocturnal had my back.

Torches were lit on the grey cave walls. I realized the caverns were rather small. How did Alduin manage to fit through here? Must have been several entrances and I happened to to fall in the smallest one I suppose.

I was not on the ground sobbing anymore. The dullness of the air may have been boring, but at least it was calm. For now. I'd been walking down this track for some time, wondering where it would have lead me.

From a chosen persons point of view, it's hard not to get whisked away in the thick of it all. For me, who's been weak from the start, has been though it's ups and downs. The word hero is an ambiguous term. To save something. Perhaps. The natural reaction to someone who was nearly killed but protected at the last minute. Yet, you don't know the hero greatly as a person, but as a concept on what they can do.

I'm not a hero. But I have those who put me in the sunlight and point at me as such. Time has given birth to many a hero. Like those in era's past. I am the latest in a long line. And I wonder, will the world see me as a figure in time? Or as the person they knew.

I wouldn't have liked to know everyone personally. I still don't. Am I supposed to have a love of this land and the people in this land? Am I? No. But I respect the fact that people deserve better and have every right to exist, no matter who they are. You can't change anyone besides changing yourself. Even so, that was a challenge.

I wanted to change myself for the better. Not to be a hero, but to be somebody noted in life that has done something. To have purpose and the need for fulfillment. While I never desired for this life, I had to make do. Because it was better than not living at all.

I still question the Gods judgement, as I enter an area, a waterfall that poured down from above as I could see the sun shining down from circular hole several meters above me, giving the water a sparkly shine. This is your realm Gods. I am in time itself and it does not respond as negatively as I would imagine.

As I kept walking, I came across an exit to my left, as part of a fork in the path. I was curious about it, but had the Realm-Walker's advice ringing in my head to be careful. The stream itself poured out of it, as I looked out from the path, seeing trees like those of fall, coloured with oranges, whites, reds and yellows. It was...like I was in the Rift.

I honestly didn't know where I was going as I hopped out of the cave. Hoping to see something.  _Anything_.

* * *

I heard footsteps crumpling leaves and snapping twigs, forcing me behind a rock. The footsteps got louder and louder, finally sliding to a halt as I saw a figure in brown clothing and a hood, a young boy, out of breath of messy red hair and green eyes. He...looked familiar, I stuck to the shadows as he slid himself behind the rock as well, not noticing me at all as he tucked his head in between his legs and panted.

I squinted and wondered what he was running from.

"Son! Where did you go!" I heard a voice shout.

"Get back here! If I find you..."

I didn't want to know who it was, but it was clear that the child was hiding from him for a reason. The way he shook like that, reminded him of...me.

"Goaway,goaway,goaway..." He muttered constantly, having his hands behind his head.

I felt the need to comfort the boy, but I bit my lip, knowing I would scare the Oblivion out of him.

But why would I do that? That couldn't have been an instinctive idea...could it?

This was awkward. I bided my time with the boy, until I heard another set of footsteps getting closer. The boy was whimpering and making a lot of noise. I rolled my eyes and dragged him close, putting my hand over his mouth, hearing him gasp. I maintained my grip as the footsteps stopped and I had seen the shadow of man overlooking the rock, his hands on his hips.

"If I find you playing tricks on me boy, you're going to a worse punishment than you did yesterday! I will find you..."

I waited until the man walked away and let the boy go, who tried getting his breath back as he stared at me, obviously frightened.

"Who-who are you?" He asked. His voice, though light, had a distinctive accent. Hm. He looked at me up and down, then his eyes went wide.

"Are...are you from the Thieves Guild?"

I smiled and nodded. The way his face lit up was adorable. Mothering Ayisha has rubbed off on me. Fascinating.

"Wow...uh...thank you for saving me. I'm in your debt." He told me.

I leaned back and sighed. Don't need anyone else sacrificing anything else from me. Especially from a child. He then touched the scars on my face.

"Did you have a fight?" He questioned. Oh so innocent. I'll play along for now.

"Yeah." I answered as I winked at him.

"Couple of wolves that preferred I'd be lunch. I showed them."

He grinned. He seemed to be unafraid of me. Surprisingly enough.

"So...if you don't mind me asking...why are hiding from him?" I asked, just for the record.

He sniffed.

"He's just my father. A mean man who just wants me to do these things that are just boring. And he hits me for not saying the right words. I always seem to get it wrong to him. He smacked me on the face right here as I misworded a sentence. Not my fault the rites are long. How can he expect to remember anything if he hits me all the time?" He whined.

I rubbed my neck. His father sounded impatient by the looks of it.

"So you ran away? And he was looking for you to punish you more? What about your mother?" I wondered.

He sighed.

"Mothers...a bit loopy. I try and look after her, which is why...which is why I will eventually have to go back." He said, defeated.

Noble boy. I really couldn't do much. I really shouldn't be here. I should be searching for Sotrahkun, not coddling youth. But he feared his father. And his reactions...were like mine. I didn't know what I could say or do to alleviate that.

"Is there no one you can talk to?" I wondered. Surely he could report this to the guards or whom ever.

He shook his head.

"No. Father says they'll never believe a boy like me. When I get older, I'll show him. I wanna make my own way in this world, but I don't know how." He said as he shuffled his feet.

I rubbed my chin. He was only young and already that he was forced to do what he...what he hated to survive. I grabbed his shoulders.

"Perhaps the only person you can trust is yourself." I told him. "You might need to be patient...and brave. Bide your time, face your fear-"

What was I saying?

"Face your fear of your father. You'll get stronger, I know it. When you're older, you'll learn how to bite back. You might just need to train yourself."

The area was familiar somehow the more I looked it.

His face wailed as started pulling up grass and throwing it away.

"What about mother?" He asked.

I combed my fingers through my hair. I'd already forgotten. How stupid of me.

"Uh...look, I'm not exactly a fountain of advice kid. And between you and me, the Guilds gone to the Gods. And there's not much we can do about it. If you were older, and I wouldn't recommend it, that you could...I dunno... help resurrect it somehow? That way you'll be able to have someone help your mother too."

Why was I saying this to a child? He seemed happy enough about it though.

"Really? I could join the Guild?" He squealed, clenching his fists in excitement. Poor kid.

"Uh yeah...sure...sure. The aim is not to get caught. There are a few parties who don't exactly like us messing around. But you have to promise to pull through and when the time comes, you'll know what to do." I continued.

I feel like I'm speaking to myself here.

"Got it. But the studies. I can't stand them!" He complained.

Oh geez. My favourite philosophy still stands...

"Just deal with it. He'll keep hitting you if you don't. Less running away means more time for looking after your mother doesn't it?" I pointed.

His eyes widened.

"Oh...of course. Mothers all alone. I fear she will disappear from us, any day now."

I rubbed his head. I am not a wealth of confidence either. Reassuring was not my strong point. And why was I thinking of giving him ideas about the Guild? Out of hope? Misguided thoughts? The feeling of running away to a place that doesn't give a crap but ignores you either way. I think that's what he needed. Pressure from parents isn't exactly healthy. Well, to an extent. There's pressure to do well, and to be better than yourself, then there's the downright abusive comments and the crying. I...am used to the crying. No I wasn't abused. Just girly tantrums involving work. The kid would have to take it, in that respect.

"Just work enough and you'll be fine. But if he keeps doing it, by all means...join the Guild, meet better people. That sort of stuff. When you're older, you are allowed to make your own choices. But when it gets too bad, come to this...rock. I suppose." I said. Now who's the one talking out of their ass? Bryn is such a bad influence I swear.

He smiled at that.

"I'll give it a try. And I will help the Guild out when I'm older, I swear it." He declared as he thumbed his fist on his chest.

Let's hope Guild 2.0 is going to be wary of what happens when you cross the Thalmor. I was stunned when he shook my hand, giving me a grin that I couldn't help but reciprocate with.

"Can't I come find you?" He asked me.

I bit my lip. Um.

"I'm...not going to be here. But I...hmmm where is it.."

I'd be given the Guild masters gear when I got promoted, including the Amulet of Articulation. I hadn't used it, as of late. It normally works on the weaker minded, anyway. Given I still had the Amulet of Akatosh as well, and that strange necklace that Bryn gave me, it wouldn't be efficient for me if I had to keep switching enchanted necklaces all the time.

I put the neck around his neck and kissed the pendant, it's weird, tri shaped form.

"It'll bring you luck in the future, maybe persuade some beautiful girl to fall in love with you." I told him. As a joke.

He nodded, and tilted his head as he looked at it. He then looked at me and smiled.

"I'm not all one for what father wants me to do. But you seem like a honest lady. I do hope we meet again!"

He then hugged me, surprising me yet again. I seem to attract children for some reason. I hugged him back.

"Me too."

He ran off, as I just wanted him to be okay and hopefully his father doesn't hit him too much. I'll just pray that the necklace would allow him to convince his father. I honestly didn't know what else to do.

With that escapade, it was clear where I was; just transported me back to Skyrim. It felt, different, but otherwise it definitely resembled the Rift in culture and the smell of honey went up the nose. I turned around, and headed back to the entrance to go back into the Timestream.

* * *

I climbed back inside the watery caves, and went down further after that little detour. It was strange though. Must have been one of those...holes, that the Realm-Walker was talking about. I'd hope it wouldn't have been too drastic. Wait...what...

Oh no...

Did...did I end up...not elsewhere, but...in another time? Gods. Don't tell me. See? I knew I would wreck things! Damn it!

I ran back towards the entrance to see if I could get the amulet back. As much as I wanted to help the boy, this would definitely screw things over. When I got back however, the entrance was gone.

I slapped my head. Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. This what the Realm-Walker warned you about Petra, you stupid, stupid fool. I sighed. Not much else I could do now though.

I continued to stride down the caves, hoping to look for something. Anything. Even another entrance. It looked normal at least. Even if it was meant to be broken and to screw with my head, the very resemblance to a cave you'd find in Skyrim softened the blow somewhat.

No sign of Alduin though. I had wandered into another well it area, the hole circular like the one I had seen prior. No waterfall. Just sunlight. I stood underneath it, feeling it's warmth. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, then upon reopening them, a single white feather fell on my shoulder. Then it was raining feathers again. Because this was normal.

I picked it off and examined it, twirling it in between my fingers. Call me...just strange for saying this, but this felt like it had a weeping power radiating on it. As did all the others. How often does it rain feathers? Honestly? It had done it in the Temple of the Divines and the Laaglein. What did it mean?

The pointy end was glowing with a golden glow on it...and a tiny wisp of steam arose from it as well. I poked the wall with it, leaving a mark on the cave wall. I wrote my name in it. Because that's mature, Petra.

The writing then faded away. Guess it wasn't permanent. I shrugged then walked away...until I heard a hissing noise and turned around, another word was being written it's place. By nobody.

_Help._

Okay then.

The writing then merged together into one huge hole. And I was sucked into in an instant.  _Sigh..._

Thanks for being careful Petra.


	93. Dragged In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra continues on her time hopping adventures in the Currents to find some interesting information and people along the way.

 

I ended up face first in the snow. Fantastic. The chill pulsed through my skin, cutting me to the bone. Lucky my natural resistance to the cold didn't end up freezing me to death.

I got up eventually and dusted the wads of snow off my head and shoulders. A slight blizzard distorted my vision. Though like before, I had a feeling of where I was. Somehow. I dunno. I was still in Skyrim...I guess?

I walked up the mountain but couldn't see much. But beating myself up this track made me recall walking up...

Oh...

I could see a Dragon sitting on the edge of a word wall, sulking by himself. He looked wounded and beaten up. I stopped and hid behind a rock as he shouted into the sky. The sun had shone down on the dragon as he spread his wings and embraced the warmth of the golden aura.

The spikes, the grey skin. He wasn't an ordinary dragon. Eventually, the skies cleared, revealing the cascade blue within. The dragon lowered his head and grumbled. I looked around the clearer views now that I could properly see where I was.

The landscape looked drastically different, but...it had to be the Throat of the World for sure. Whiterun looked smaller than I remember. But otherwise I could see the Skyforge and Jorrvaskr. And everything else...ahh I can barely make it from here. But otherwise...

" _Zu'u los het, Kaan. Hi lost genun zey Alduin los nid zuk fein vax wah Bormah ahrk ok aakarn. Zu'u lost luft dii zeymah wo lost scarred zey fah dii illness, luaan Alduin thur. Ol ziist zuwuth, Zu'u vis koraav nu kolos nii lost pah gone folaas. Hi lost for zey het. Fos kent Zu'u dreh nu?_ "

Wait...was that...Paarthurnax? He...he's hurt. I am filled with pity and empathy. I was trying to think where he had been...

If this was another trap...or...this was part of time itself. Eventually.

I didn't know what I could do. If I did anything, I could potentially cause more problems. I have done enough damage already. I had attempted to leave this in peace as I walked, but ended up falling over...and grabbing attention of the wounded dragon. Petra you are certainly very clumsy.

"Joor! Why do you taunt me so?" He called out.

I stood up. Sigh. I suppose.

"I am not here to taunt you. I...uh, was curious to see what was up here." I lied.

He tilted his head, like Paarthurnax would do normally.

"Curious?  _Meyye..._ " He grumbled, turning his head back and looking distant.

"You are not afraid of me. Have you come to slay me?" He asked.

Seeing Paarthurnax in this sorrowed state was woeful.

"I do not. You are a guardian of time. I respect that." I acknowledged.

His head lifted. He examined me closely.

"We were once. All of us. To the unspoken tongue of your soul, yours...seems out of place. ahrk sil do dovah ko joor slen." He stated.

Wow he was good. Well, I guess dragons would be more attune to this.

"Then you must feel the tears of time falling around you, do you not?" I asked.

He stretched his wings wide, inhaling the air around him.

"Tiid weeps." He answered...in such truth. "I am nothing but a mockery of my brothers, who continue to blindly follow the way of Alduin, when he has proven nothing but a monster in the eyes of our bormah...but the tiidbayhek calls out and the feathers bleed everywhere. No dovah will listen to their calling of their true roles, only the one of the false God who will destroy this land. But you, joor, you are...different...wait..."

He flew up and descended, landing in front of me, to properly take a better look at me. I was a bit unnerved, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

"You are the Vostahdim lir!" He roared. Then tilted his head again.

"But...you are not. You would have killed me by now."

There's that name again. Must have been when...oh Gods. I am here...must be...maybe just on the brink of the Dragon War.

"I am not. I am simply trying to find entrance back to the Currents of Time." I told him outright. It was obvious I wasn't going to reveal too much. Altering time is considered bad, only by instinct did I know that. I hoped the other dragons did too. Instinctively.

"Maybe Kaan had sent you to me." He claimed.

I rubbed my head. Kaan?

"Uh...I dunno. I kinda of just fell in here. I'm just busy." I mumbled.

He looked down, then looked at me again.

"No...Monah do Dovah. She guides tiid at the Maas, the Seed. Her name, is written in the snow below us." He continued.

I looked down, seeing the dragon language of Sotrahkun.

He then looked back at me.

"Maybe there is hope, young dovah joor. Kaan is telling me the blessings of the future before us all. Before you leave, shout at me." He ordered.

My eyes widened. Oh geez...

"Uh..." I voiced.

Not this again.

"We must  **recognize**  meeting of two of the dov. Kaan. If you have the thu'um, it will prove inspiration that we may be able to succeed." He claimed.

Oh Gods...uhh...

"Really? You're bleeding...I don't think would be a great idea..." I said, expressing my concern.

He smiled. Or what ever accounted for a dragon to smile anyway.

"It is okay. It is what it is and I see now that Bormah and Monah have birthed a wondrous creation. You may not be the Vosthadim Lir, but you are proof, that Kaan's soundless words have lead me to believe that mankind can learn the thu'um without Alduin's blessing. Only if you use it against me, I may be able to teach and prove Alduin wrong." He continued.

Petra, what a terrible mess you have made.

Just do it and carry on.

"Alright, alright I'll do it..."  I said, obviously sounding a bit concerned.

I inhaled deeply...

" _ **YOL!**_ "

The dovah was adrift in flames, making me worried. I didn't know why I had chosen that shout for. But Paarthurnax seemed very pleased.

"Ahh...some of the Priests know the thu'um. And I can teach those who had become slaves to Alduin's campaign to arm themselves. I will need your help to convince them." He requested.

My eyes widened. Well Petra, you may not consider yourself a hero, but other people still need you it seems.

"No, you don't need my help. I'm certain others will come trust you. You're talking with me after all." I said.

He shook his head.

"Your heart has no fear as it glimpses at me, dovah joor. Mankind would sooner, fell the swords in my back to conquer me. Please." He pleaded.

I scrunched my fist. I couldn't. I just couldn't do it. Unless...

"You fear the men who serve under Alduin?" I said with the hint of irony.

"Men who would sooner perish to me and I to them. Alduin would not resurrect a heretic. Only if he knew what he was talking about." He stated.

I chuckled. I just got the joke. He was wounded though. And in bad shape.

"What if I invited a couple of people up here? Several of the bravest men and women that would be more than happy let you take them under your wing...so to speak..." I suggested.

It would also give him time to recover.

"If you could that, I'd consider you a legend..."

* * *

I don't know what I am doing. Why am I doing this? I headed down the mountain, seeing that High Hrothgar hadn't even been built yet...the things I do for my homeland. I'd walked to...Pre-Whiterun? I dunno. Did Whiterun exist back then? I was about to find out. Once I arrived, it was easy to see that it was possibly in the process of being built? This had to be what, damn I needed to remember my studies. Merethic era? I dunno. I'll have to make a point of re-reading some other stuff. But I could see tents scattered around Jorrvaskr and legions of people sharpening blades, bringing in lumber and so forth. Jorrvaskr looked remarkably...different as it sat on top of the hill. Must have gotten mended every so often. How that survived all this time is beyond me.

I'd gotten a few stares from several people. Their armour was of the ancient variety. Okay, probably not ancient at this stage but in our era it's considered very old. Time tense is confusing sometimes.

I entered Jorrvaskr and looked around. More hulking nords battling it out with their brute strength and their tough fists. Time doesn't change that often, it seems. An old man approached me in robes, his white hair tied back and his brushes black beard gave him the sign of some type of wisdom. He gave off the air it as well. Was he there leader?

"Come to partake rebellion as well, lady in black?" He asked me. His voice was empowered by confidence and pride.

I blinked. Oh yeah my Thieves Guild armor.

"Um. No." I said, blunter than intended. "Who is in charge of this place?"

He smiled. Phew.

"No one is in charge. I am but of any service? Do you wish to take your blade to the dragons yourself?" He asked.

Such an awkward question that I had no idea how to answer.

"Yes. Yes I do. But I don't come here to train. I am here to make you an offer." I told him outright.

He rose an eyebrow.

"An offer? Let me hear it." He said.

I don't know how this was going to bode well...I leaned in and whispered, cupping my mouth.

"I know a way to defeat Alduin." I told him. Well, supposedly. I'm trying to think of what I was actually doing here.

He rubbed his chin. I guess I mean, I am pushing things along as quickly as I can aren't I?

"Hm...many of have spoken of ideas, stranger. Dragons do not fall easily. One must be tenacious in their way and surely you have seen the power of their magic. We have accepted that the Dragons are not Gods. We have heard the stories of dragons being slain in the infamous realm of Fellnir. We have lost many good companion there." He said.

Tell me about it.

"The offer is to teach you said magic." I pointed out.

His eyes widened.

"You truly...know the thu'um. Hmm...meet me in the Underforge later on tonight, I must discuss this with some associates of mine. For now, stay a while, feast or train if you so wish." He replied.

I'd gone back outside and sat down on one of the benches nearby the young looking Gildegreen. No. it was young. Barely taller than I was. From my understanding it was something of worship, as I could see several priests, relaying their prayers to Kyne. The Talos Statue was missing. Okay, so obviously he wasn't even born as Tiber Septim then.

Was I feeling a bit out of place? Mostly. I blended in well, thankful that it was in place of my own birthright and that I wasn't exactly in the worst situation. I'd hoped the old man was eager to listen to my pleas. I really hope this doesn't dramatically change the future too much.

I mean, I'm helping a younger Paarthurnax here. I'm doing it. And I've been told many times, even by myself, to just be...careful. And now look at me, creating agreements and changing things. So why wasn't I stopping myself? I didn't have time to ponder that. But I couldn't help it. Stupid, stupid me and this whole thing was stupid. Gahh...

The rest of the day I roamed around, observing the people around me as they worked, ate or slept. All these people, held their hatred towards the Dragons yet they sat in the middle of this...supposed nightmare. But their fears were like those of my time. It was a very similar scenario yet...I don't...I don't exist. Well, they don't hae people like me can exist. No Greybeards mean no thu'um. Was I...supposed to be here?

Am I?

It came to night when I went to the Underforge, a secret area underneath the Skyforge. I was lead in there by the old man, seeing two others, fierce warriors who drew their blades at me. A woman, clad in steel armour and blonde hair to her shoulders and the other man in his nordic armour and fierce red hair, much like Bryn's. I'd sincerely laugh if they were somehow related.

"Do you work for the Dragons?" The woman asked me with the powerful scorn in her voices. Should have expected an ambush.

"No." I answered truthfully and with confidence.

"I have a dragon who works for me."

The woman and the man looked at each other with confusion.

"Why are you here?" Asked the other man.

I ask myself that question a lot.

"I am here to offer you all an opportunity to fight back against your dragon oppressors. There is a dragon, who is not hostile, that will teach the techniques needed. Like the power of the Dragons and their Priests, you too, can attain the power of the thu'um." I replied.

They had stunned looks on their faces. Oh Petra, you time warper you. And now I had this, goofy look on my face like I was the queen of insight or something. Haha...funny.

"How is that possible?" The old man questioned, shocked still.

I waved my finger at him.

"You'd be surprised. Kyna...I mean, Kyne has gifted man with the power, but you must learn it within yourself if you're ever going to take down Alduin and his ilk." I said.

It's fun playing teacher as I paced around the room.

"You have only arrived here stranger, uninvited and unannounced. Prove to us, you can use the dragons magic against them." The woman shouted. Her voice was unnecessarily loud, I'd noticed.

But this again. Oh well...let's get it over with.

"Fus!" I shouted, sending shockwaves that almost knocked them over. Almost like I was doing it to the Greybeards.

The old man seemed genuinely impressed.

"This is certainly a gift indeed! The Gods have listened to our prayers! For many years now we cower in the dark, hoping for this ceaseless nightmare to end! My Lady, you are indeed worthy." He said.

Wait, was it that easy? Someone tell me please.

"How do we know this isn't trickery Felldir?" The woman asked. Good...healthy skepticism.

"What other choice do we have but lay down and die Gormlaith? By using the power of the dragons against them, we stand a chance to win this war." The ol...uh, Felldir announced proudly.

Gormlaith looked at me and glaired. She reminded me of Vex to an extent. A woman who is but stubborn and perhaps she prided in herself greatly. I sensed a great strength from her.

"She speaks of a dragon, our very enemy, that is under her employ. What are we to accept a offer, to trust the tongue of a dragon as well?" The red-headed man stated.

"That is true, Hakon. Lady, what of this supposed dragon?" The older man asked me.

I crossed my arms and nodded.

"This dragon has gone against the word of his brothers for speaking out against Alduin and was gravely wounded. He sits atop the throat of the world, waiting for others to see reason." I replied.

Gormlaith lifted her chin.

"Then why doesn't the dragon come see us?" She questioned. I'd be skeptical as well.

Oh boy...

"Because he fears that you'll kill him before he gets the chance to explain himself. One dragon against, what, 100, 200 people? Hardly think that would let him in when you one dragon in numbers like that." I pointed out.

Gormlaith snorted.

"Hah...Dragons are more cowardly than I thought! Maybe we should kill him to set an example." She sneered.

Felldir raised his hand.

"We do not get rid of a potential ally in this day and age. If this dragon is going to help us, then we'll need all help we can get." He said. At least he's reasonable.

* * *

I escorted the small group to top of the mountain. Ivarstead didn't exist, but I knew where we were going. I really hoped that I wasn't making a big mistake here...or I prefer to just doom everyone either. But honestly couldn't help myself. I wasn't going anywhere until this was done anyway.

Perhaps I am partial to the madness that runs in my veins after all. They say acceptance is healthy. Or a way to recover. Either way, I'd be indebted...for what ever reason.

I had then taken them up the whole way, like it was some kind of enlightenment procedure, with Gormlaith stuck in her ways, while Felldir and Hakon were amazed with the views.

Getting the top wasn't too bad as I saw Paarthurnax waiting there still, making the other three nervous as he looked at them. He flew up off the word wall and descended, forcing them to make defensive stances.

"Drem, joor. I am Paarthurnax..."

Most of the conversation was related to the initial hostility and the reason for his change of allegiance. Although he was more than willing to teach, I'd wager it'd be sometime until he could be trusted.

The hatred for dragons just felt stronger in this era, since they were enslaving the early nords. So I had read. And that wisdom can be brought in from both sides. Felldir took a liking to him as quickly as I expected him to. The others...heh...give it time. I'd feel that, if Paarthurnax was a stubborn as they, that they would eventually begin to understand the situation more clearer and open their hearts.

I myself had learned harsh lessons. Dragons still make me a bit edgy, Paarthurnax and Durhneviir notwithstanding. I myself, possessing the spirit, makes me more susceptible to their scrutiny, but I could, somehow within me, perhaps by instinct, feel like I was among them, so I was, fearing my own kind. But as much as we were the same, there just as many differences. Besides the obvious ones.

So this was Kynareths doing. Or Akatosh's. Or both. I'd been sent on the waver to make sure time would flow onward. And within me, that I may be responsible to make these things happen. So this was either their doing, or Sotrahkuns, given that she may have cast me here. This was so confusing.

Does this mean I have an importance in the structure of known history? Or will this, create an alternate timeline? I've been told that choices create branches on the tree, but did I do this by choice? Or instinct?

I decided I had to leave as Paarthurnax spoke with the warriors. I snuck off, finding an entrance back to the Timestream in the form of the cave with the tiny waterfall. I crawled back inside and left this place for good.

* * *

I was back in there and continued walking downwards. No legitimate end in sight, apparently. Only detours that...maybe mattered? I can't understand it completely, but there definitely has to be a reason for it all. Was I being shown what sacrifices were made and how precious the world really is? In all it's fragility that I was destined to save it. I might actually be capable. Shocking.

It's an incredulous task, that's for sure. My head and my heart have their own opinions...but I...I...

Look it's hard to explain this...particular feeling that I have, and I've been having it ever since I was resurrected. It's like, partaking in knowing what was going to happen, you know. The dreams, the white lights, the feathers. It all means something. It's being shoved in my face and it's like a message to me that I'll never be able to understand.

Perhaps it was influenced during my time as a Vampire and a Dragon. A sense that had grown but never ceased. Was it drawn by immortality? Or something worse. I'm still trying to find what that feeling was.

Through out my own life I've felt this...spark. But it was nothing compared to that unknown sense. Was I supposed to do something? Was it, going back in time and relying on instinct to lead the way? Was I guided? I really wasn't sure. I hope to find it what it was eventually.

I guess as a Dragonborn life can take you to all strange places. Places meant for me. Places that make no sense as to why you were there. Treasure? Adventure? The fire is supposed run in the blood, the need for power and sanction and for stability within yourself. But I just cry all the time. Not really stable now is it?

* * *

I found a mirror hanging on the wall the further the stream I went down. Didn't know why it was there, nor did I care. I looked into it, seeing the scars that had been formed like veins popping out of my skull. They seemed to drag out from the scalp and my ears. My eyes were glowing the faint blue hue, a sense of my abilities weighed from all the dragon souls I'd consumed. I'd lost count.

So I'm supposed to have this power and this necklace wasn't particularly tell me anything. I'd only appreciating it because it was a gift. As I look at myself in the mirror, I wonder how it get's this far without so much as feeling like I was getting anywhere, with one problem after another and it was up to me to solve. Even if I didn't know what needed to be solved. It just gets weird and complex like that.

It was then it started to wobble as I touched it. I touched it again. Strange. Very strange.

Another trick I suppose? I had to find out. I kept myself cautious, until a hand grabbed me from the tall structure and dragged me in.

Next thing I knew, I was in some dark dank place that reminded me of somewhere I'd been in before, made of wood and furnishing. The one who had grabbed my hand had greying hair and guild master gear like me. Except I met with that face with surprise, whipping out my sword as I pointed at him and gasped, as he stood there with a apathetic look on his face that was close to scorn.

"Mercer..." I muttered. What was he doing here?

He pushed the blade away and groaned in annoyance.

"Hey put that away before you poke someones eye out." He called out to me.

I didn't trust him. Obviously. My heart was beating quickly as I recalled everything...Snow Veil Sanctum, Coldharbour...the lot. And it was painful. I reacted the only way knew how with monsters like him.

"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't slit your throat?" I demanded to know, gritting my teeth.

"Ugh...I'd been warned about this about from the Realm-Walker...you and your...sheer hate for lil' ol me." He explained.

The Realm-Walker? But...she was after his time...after I had long smashed his face in with the mace.

"Wanna know the passphrase she used? Blinded by Failure, said you would know." He revealed.

I froze. I do recall her that whispering that to me at times. And she was one of the only few that knew it. Mercer definitely would not have heard it. He pulled up his finger, remonstrating the interesting ring on it.

"The Ring of Verity. Gift from her people. The Crusaders of Verity. Interesting bunch, but they're too weird for my liking."

I pulled my blade back. What was going on? Why didn't the Realm-Walker tell me this?

"Speak. Explain to me." I told him, lowering the blade to about his crotch area, just in case he decides to be funny.

He chuckled. Apparently I was the funny one. That irritated me greatly.

"Okay...look. From my understanding and the letters she's sent me so far, that I was an irredeemable bastard. The bastard part is true, but irredeemable? I wouldn't say that.." He said. 

I squinted as that sent shivers down my spine.

"Then what do you say, monster?" I called.

He went to one of his book shelves, pulling out a reddish book.

"I say let's just sit and talk for a minute. The Realm-Walker's notes were given to me to instruct me that if you ever came here during your travels that I should assist you anyway I can. Heh...here she even gave me this necklace to ensure I didn't even go crazy." He called out, pulling out the pendant.

I approached him cautiously and eyed him suspiciously before I took a closer look. The moth decal...it reminded me of the Realm-Walkers' wings when she used...well, I didn't know she knew that flying shout. But it did hold the same energies from her. So she had to have met him then. It annoys me that she never told me this, but my heart was telling me she did it for a reason.

But it was hard to believe. He grabbed a few chairs and motioned me to sit. I wasn't incredibly comfortable with, given our past history. I sat down reluctantly, holding patience at bay. I didn't want to be here...but strange forces were in cast, compelling me to stay.

"Good...now we're at least being civil. Now listen, this is not your time line...ahh what else does she have written down here...oh yeah...I'm forced to help you anyway. Ever since I'd wandered into her little...cult, I've been doing some sneaking around. Found dirt on the dragons for them. Not much, but I'd been speaking with Delvin, who has a brother on Solstheim. Said there's been a few problems with the locals acting weird. But that's about it. Nothing that you need to be worried about. I was also...directing it with a mage, using some trace spell to ensure you didn't get lost in the time stream. Made sure you'd always find your way back in the path..that gold she promised...it better be worth it."

He'd explained that, comparing the differences between where I've come from and where I am not is a different place, where Mercer did not become a worshiper of Molag Bal, because he'd decided it and not that he betrayed Nocturnal either. He seemed relatively nicer than our Mercer. Still made me a bit ill though. I guess I just can't shrug that feeling away either. He skipped several pages through the book, looking for information.

"Really? Vex and Delvin aren't married in your timeline? How sad. They live in Riften with at least two kids. Still part of the Guild of course, but they don't run as many operations as they used to. In fact, I get my son to help me out."

I blinked. Heh, he has a son. Go figure.

"And I'm guessing you don't exactly know who my son is. Hmm...might be a problem." He mentioned.

I looked left and right.

"What problem?" I asked, a bit wary.

He rubbed his chin as he flicked through more pages.

"My son and I have a good father-child relationship. He's like my second-in-command. His mother is busy tending the Nightingale Hall." He replied.

What?

"But for you, it seems he doesn't know who his father really is. Say's its some idiot named Prolg."

The pit in my stomach grew heavy, making me ill.

"Wait, you saying Brynjolf is your son?" I asked him with disbelief.

This made everything that's happened so much worse. Mercer inflicted great pain on us...in more ways than one.

"Brynjolf in your time doesn't know. Either that or I either never met or killed his mother. Don't know if I did any of that." He continued in such a casual way.

I recalled images from the Temple of the Divines, fading away from existence thanks to the Elder Scroll on my back. But it makes since. I don't know of if Bryn knew at all...but it explained why he held him in high regard. Even if it was never made clear. Like father like son in that respect. But thieving was the only thing they had in common.

"Prolg killed her." I said bluntly.

He nodded, then sighed. He seemed genuinely upset but barely showed it. I see where Bryn gets it from now. It was hard to tell, but it was the little things, like when his adams apple bobs when he's worried or his eyes become slightly watery but not overly noticeable.

"Huh. He did he? Now, that is man I'd definitely call a monster. She was a good woman. We were both Nightingales who fell in love. I guess that helped sway me away from temptation. She gave birth to Bryn and that was that. So many differences in this. All because of this Prolg person. It doesn't add up."

I hope this alleviates Bryn's doubt from trying to kill the man. He shouldn't have to hold back on reservations that shouldn't exist.

"For what its worth Petra, I've been told I'm a obscenely horrible person. from the Realm-Walker. And I know it wouldn't mean much, but I'm sorry."

I didn't know if it meant much to me, as it was too late. My heart couldn't tell the difference.

"I'm not expecting you to like me. I'm not in tune with this whole time thing as you may be. She's given me instructions and other crap. Nemetona told me to just go with it as did Brynjolf once I told him what was going on. Actually, I've heard rumours about the Dragonborn here. Joined the Companions from rumour. Don't worry, we're looking after them too. The look on your face looks moronic. Quit it." He said as he cocked an eyebrow at my flabbergasted expression.

I shook my head. Not that I needed to know that.

"Alright, one last thing. The real purpose that I dragged you in here, is to hand you back your...cat..."

Cat?

Next thing I knew there was a something running and hugging me from behind.

"Mama!"

I turned around and my jaw dropped. It was little Ayisha! Thank the Gods she was okay.


	94. Anti-Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra gets closer to finding Sotrahkun, although she tries to sort through her weird feelings too.

 

She was alive. That's. Well, I did meet her future self, but knowing where her current self was brought me more relief. I found myself worrying about her than I thought I would. I'm not mother material, but it's not hard to get attached to children this way.

And that Mercer of all people was taking care of her was inconceivable.

He was curmudgeonly to an extent, but the best attitude and manners that you wouldn't even think that this was Mercer at all. Within part of me wanted him dead, but right now I didn't have time to think of that. My goal was to move forward and look for the next track.

Mercer had taken care of most things here and one of only a few mortals that truly realised what was going on. He didn't want Bryn to know who his true father was just yet, that time would reveal it eventually. I'd leave it at that, given Bryn's conflicts on who and why he should kill them. He's not a killer. He's content to resolve disputes the Guild way. Violence is the last resort, but death is never any good for business.

He'd shown me around his manor, which to my...uh...surprise was Riftweald Manor. It looked far welcoming than it normally had, more décor and none of the doors were barred. I'd told him I'd failed the Guild in our world, saying that the combined forces of the Cult of Slaughter and the Thalmor decimated them, using the thu'um in such a small area. Mercer had nodded in acknowledgement as I explained to him the Guild's horrific fate. He'd only said, it was not my fault. I disagreed. They knew me by association and it just made everything a thousand times worse.

What ever the case maybe, Mercer assured me in his own, unique way that events may pan out better than I'd hope. His talks with the Realm-Walker kept him updated on the situation regarding the time, and his research with Guild Master Gallus, who was still alive in this particular time line, in finding out more information.

He'd said, that this was akin to a Dragon Break, which has happened several times in history before, bizarrely enough and this could have been the same thing. Perhaps a lot worse. It was often related to Akatosh's lack of control over time when someone messes with it too much. Figures. Always someone screwing over with something, always magic and look where it gets them. Ten septims says it was Prolg.

Its interesting because, when you think about it, Alduin must exist here too. And in all the other timelines. And there had to be more than one Paarthurnax, more than one set of Guilds.

My eyes widened. Wait, that was it.

"Wait, so obviously people exist in these times. Each has their own, well, you. A dragonborn, a Mercer Frey. And there's more dragons. Dragons taken from these time lines which can be said as near infinite, based on choices." I exclaimed.

Mercer crossed his arms and squinted at me.

"Uhh...yeah that might be it. So...you say you fought hundreds of dragons in one area? I would not want to be in the middle of that, that's for sure." He commented, so nonchalantly.

At the core of my fear, I'd imagined hundreds of dragons circling around me, then diving down to eat me from limb to limb.

"It's terrifying. So many dragons you wonder who you'd get so many. Alduin is helping Prolg get more dragons by taking them from itself. You'd think the dragons would know more of what was going on, before going on some strange need to eliminate and ignoring their real task." I said.

"Yeah...definitely." Mercer spoke, sipping a mead. I think he was being sarcastic.

"So they broke time by stealing the Time keepers? No wonder it's so out of whack. It all makes sense!" I continued, unabated.

"Glad I thought of it." He replied in an unenthusiastic tone.

"But why would they need so many? They're obviously powerful by default."

I rubbed my chin. It came to me, that I was actually much, much stronger than they were. Each kill proved that point.

"This was similar to Fellnir as well. Lot's of dragons everywhere and I eliminated them all and absorbed their souls. Perhaps Alduin was running out of servants since I was theoretically eating them all." I explained further.

"Must have gotten scared from the looks of it. What about this Sotrahkun character, said to be the Mother of all Dragons?" He asked.

"You'd think Alduin would want a female to starting pumpin' out kids. Unless there was some kind of weird magical reason why he couldn't. You're going to see her now aren't you? Why don't you quit bumming around here and ask her that question. I'm sure she'll oblige."

He had a point. I couldn't start trying to make theories anymore and desire to find the truth. I looked at Mercer one more time as Aysiha grabbed my hand.

"Thanks. Mercer...Maybe, our paths will cross again?" I queried. I mean, given everything that's happened you'd think I'll still want to avoid him. In a way, I'm still on edge and I'm not even going to begin the path for any type of forgiveness for the absolute agony I was put through by this man from my time. It may have been from his body language or the look in his eye that I looked for any type of predatory sign. Either he was a fantastic actor, or he was simply a thief with much better morals.

He shrugged.  I mean, if the Realm-Walker was willing to have him on board, I wouldn't believe she'd put him here, taking care of Ayisha otherwise.

"Don't trust so easily. If I did come back keep an eye on me and make sure I don't do anything fundamentally stupid like stealing eyes. That's just crazy." He said.

I chuckled. I had a feeling he knew more but I'll take heed of his advice.

"I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

We'd said our goodbyes and went back into the Timestream. I wanted to get Ayisha out of here, but...who knows where these paths would lead her? I had to keep her close, keep her safe from everything that might hurt her.

She held my hand, not even frightened about the unknown ream we were walking upon. Still the dull grey, rocky and creek landscape all squeezed into a tiny tunnel. We'd be walking for a while, and hadn't seen any holes or tears in the fabric of time, suggesting that it was possible that we were getting closer.

But...yes, it did make sense. Alduin was recruiting others from other time lines to defeat me and Skyrim itself. He may be first-born of Akatosh, but that's outright cheating. I swear when I meet him face to face, he better fall before me or Gods so help me I'll smash his face clean into the ground.

Now I accept that normalcy isn't going to return back to my life at all. It's twisted and turned in ways I'd never imagined possible. And these are magics that the best mages will never find. And we have to adhere to these structures, behind walls, before doors. All working to function to allow us to exist. I wandered down the pathways with Ayisha when we'd come across a door at the end. I took a deep breath and opened it, not really going to be prepared of what was going on behind it.

A bright light, like those from my dreams. Once my vision had returned, I could see a long pathway, inside a...something? The pathway seemed to just head straight until I couldn't see it in the horizon and they were clear platforms stuck together, with strange vines attached, possibly keeping them together, I don't know. But that's not the strangest part.

Around me, and around the walkway, was a cylindrical tube that the path somehow floated in the middle. The round tube walls were of water, a strange white water and sparkles of gold. I could hear it flow around me, as small golden cracks were scattered everywhere. This was not how I would have seen it as, but it was the white light in my dreams. Lil' Ayisha tugged my hand. I took a deep breath and walked forward.

The power of this place, perhaps the true Currents of Time, was staggering that one could be easily overwhelmed by the energies. I felt a bit faint, but I could keep to my own two feet. Some of the cracks were enormous, showing events in time unfold, like what would have been the Oblivion Crisis? And several great wars over the eras the further into the tunnel we went. The faint feeling could not be faint at all, but a tuning to this sort of thing. From a mortals perspective it was impossible to describe. In fact, it matched up with that unknown feeling from before.

"Mama okay?" Ayisha asked me.

Another mortal stating such a question kept me solidified. Sometimes acknowledging the fact that isn't something normal mortals ever experience. Far from normal.

"I'll be okay. Mama's just trying to adapt to the situation. And Mama's trying to be strong." I assured.

This was definitely a place not meant for us. We shouldn't be here. Yet...

A dragon splashed through the walls and landed in front of us. It made me jump, but it was...an Amethyst Dragon...and I knew it.

"HahnuHahnu!" Ayisha squealed, before running off and hugging it.

He smiled, for a lack for a better word regarding a Dragons knack for expression.

"Good to see you again young one. I was hoping to speak to your Monah." He said.

I approached him and looked up.

"So, you're here on behalf of Sotrahkun I'd wager?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"It does not look good, Dovahkiin. The little war outside the entrance has escalated and many of my brothers have aided Alduin, corrupted by the darkness. But now, you have the Kel and to meet your destiny with the White Dragon of the Feather." He declared.

I had to question the obvious.

"I've been through the caverns...so how many more places must I pass through before I actually get to meet her?"

His head lifted.

"The Caverns is what you would call, a checkpoint. To check if you are able to pass through. And you have...this is the proper Currents of Time. Falling into the waters here could bring you anywhere at any time. Though the Cavern itself is known to have a mind of it's own and let the pieces fall into place, where needed. It guides you here and now you are able to see Sotrahkun." He said.

Finally. Although where I've been so far, I question the logicality of visiting what I imagine would the past. Especially with the boy, what was the point in showing me that?

"But Alduin himself has spoken with her and is still tiding her as we speak."

I should have known.

"But if all Alduin wants is to fight me on equal ground as a dragon...so we might just do that." I called out.

Hahnubopraan's face faltered.

"Ride with me, Dovahkiin. I will fly you. It must take haste, before Alduin can make any more damage. Look..."

I looked up, seeing the feathers raining once more. I knew this wasn't normal.

"Sotrahkun needs your help more than ever. Go on. Climb on!"

* * *

I took Ayisha with me as we prepared ourselves for the flight over, only for us to hear yet another voice in the Currents

"Wait!"

I had put Ayisha in front as I spun around. The sight I saw made my draw drop.

"Ayisha...?" I muttered.

"Yes Mama?" The Khajiit answered.

"No...not you...You..."

The Elder Ayisha rushed towards me, having come out of the Caverns herself. Oh Gods, both Ayishas?

"Mama...Ayisha did not come here intentionally. But, the caverns were a tricky maze to solve. Now that Ayisha-...wait, who is that?"

I facepalmed. How...I....my head hurts again.

"Ayisha, meet Ayisha." I said without a slick of energy.

Thankfully, I'd hope the girls would get along just fine as I just told them both to just get on the damn dragon. I'm sick of delays...


	95. Sotrahkun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra finally meets the White Dragon and debates identity.

 

Now is the time where I am used to these oddities. Where time is concerned, anything that might seem strange can now be directly related to the brokenness and the bleeding of it's entire structure.

It may be the dragon within me, but the strong urges to quell the issue rose up and the acceptance of the reality around me became known. Young and Adult Ayisha sat with me as we rode Hahnubopraan through the mystical and magical Currents of Time. The end was so close now I could taste it. The fear was still there, but the heart of me remained strong and resolute and determined to strike the darkness that lingered all around us.

I closed my eyes and looked back and recalled everything I'd ever done. The first kiss I had from a boy when I was fifteen, to the rose garden Aunty Tara tended to, being scolded by my father for for not contributing to the farm enough.

Memory gets fuzzy between receiving Prolg's message to come to Skyrim and getting here. And Hadvar helped me with that...and I feel guilty that I had no control over myself during my trance. I would have never done what I did I knew what it did to his heart, judging from what had gone on between us in Solitude.

Then...

I met Brynjolf for the first time.

What ever dragged me to the hellhole that was Riften to begin with, I was soon met with a pair of big green eyes underneath the fiery red hair, calling me out, inviting me to the shadows. He'd seen something within my pathetic, weak self that day and decided to take advantage of it. A man who'd taken me from the mess of reality, to a well organized mess so I could live. I must admit I felt...like somebody as I put on the Thieves Guild armor on for the first time. I didn't feel like I was defenseless. It was an identity that was given to me. It was a mask.

I'm not certain Bryn's intention was...incredibly noble. He was like any other superior looking for recruits. I'd expected that. I respected his words like any other client. I suppose I didn't have to be the real me. The coward, the weakling, the milk-drinker. No one knew that side. But Brynjolf had, the first time he met me.

I wondered if he'd pretended to not see or he wasn't even thinking that. The Guild was desperate after all and to put things into perspective, I'd genuinely believed that they were indeed clasping short straws. Brynjolf admitted that I was the best investment. As Thief Petra for sure, I'll help make coin, no complaints. As long as there are clear instructions and you allow me to do my job in peace, I'll be certain to do it.

It was flowing smoothly. Better than I'd hoped. But Bryn...he'd overstepped his boundaries of what would have been expected of him in his role. I can't say if he planned to fall for me like he said he did. Me? I dunno. I know he must have seen past Thief Petra along the way. He'd sure as Oblivion saw my Dragonself a couple of times. His eyes had always been over the horizon.

My...attraction to him was jumbled and perplex. Surely he was good looking, but my mind wouldn't allow me to do anything in that regard, let alone pursue anything in my closed off state. But the night in the bad weather, how he sat next to me...we were on the same level. It was us. I could tell that he was exhausted, but the look in his eyes had a hunger to them. And I knew.

I reward him with what he wanted. Turned out to be what he needed. What..I needed. It didn't become a one night stand like I had planned. It was a power that grew within me and unfortunately intertwined with the emotional aspects of myself and that of my Dragonself. I had a hard time deciding of what I actually felt. Losing him...why did I fear losing him so badly? It wasn't the sex...it wasn't the coin...

But I think...it was because he was whole and he knew where he stood in the general scheme of things. Even in the aspect of acting it was all him and bits of him. You could trust him to be consistent in the way he acted towards people the way he went about his job. He's so...passionate about it yet at the same time kept himself level headed. Most of the time.

I grew worried in ways where you could absolutely tell it wasn't him. He really wanted to take control in the times he nearly found it impossible to do so and his tears were born from the failure to be able to maintain his stubborn yet strong structure. He needs to know reasons and he wants to find practical solutions. That was his identity. That was Bryn. My guess would be that I love him for his stability and consistency in ways that lesser men could waver from. It takes the tenacity I so obviously lack to be able to project ones entire being to have clarity. His ideals won't let him change. They don't need to. Even as a thief, he's comfortable with what he's made for himself that it doesn't even require effort. I suppose that's what I want to achieve in life. Be myself, without struggle. 

I can't make it that if I'm a horrible person or...someone who's morals are twisted. I've always lived by my fathers words, but now I wonder, did it dictate what I often did? I am a woman who makes her own decisions, but really...what is often by logic? And what is often by sentimentality? I'm not sure, my life hasn't been aligned proper since I was born. Stability was there, but not to be claimed. Were the words there to make me choose the wrong or right choice? Instinct...I have to use instinct. The answers were never clear cut even if I felt they were, by picking the option I hated the most.

Have I been doing that...all my life?

_We make the choice ourselves, our lives are filled with mistakes to make sure we do not make them again._

Huh? That didn't sound like the Realm-Walker at all? I looked around. It wasn't either Ayisha or Hahnubopraan. Feathers rained all around...

Sotrahkun?

_You are close my child..._

She had the tone of a mother, yet sounding young. It had sent chills down my spine. The serene grace at the voice, at the tip of pain yielding underneath.

Nothing compared to this piece of steak.

* * *

We were stopped by a huge dragon shooting past us, from one side of the Currents to the other. Its black shadow...Alduin...

Hahnubopraan stepped on it, while I brought out my bow and warned the girls to prepare their spells to shoot when necessary. We'd come into a more open area, where the tube like appearance had transformed into a rectangular design, yet water still ran everywhere from walls, floor and the roof. I could see a bright fantastic light that got brighter as we soared closer.

Upon reaching past the gates of light, was a gigantic circular platform made of stone with waterfalls that surrounded it just as circular, cradling a strange white sky. The center of it had a peculiar marking of a dragon. The bright light came from a source like the sun, but I wasn't sure...

Hahnubopraan flew us down as we got off the Amethyst Dragon and wandered around the platform, examining the dragon marking closely. The marking was on a odd set of stones that mapped out pattern like none other and the marking itself looking like a basic outline of the Akatosh Shrine. Hm...

"Your dovahsos, Dovahkiin. Spill your blood into the center." Hahnu informed me.

I nodded and went into the middle of it, seeing the tiny bowl that was stuck on there like a jewel. I put my bow away and grabbed a dagger and sliced my wrist and dripped the blood down there. It reacted as it shuffled itself, the blood glowing in the lines that sifted around the stones.

They'd disappeared and suddenly a magical surge of power shot through, sending huge gusts of wind upwards and inside was whirlpool of glowing energies of white and purple. I took a deep breath,

"The portal will take you to Sotrahkun." Said Hahnubopraan as he looked around.

"She is your Monah as much as she is for all dovah. Good luck there, Dovahkiin."

I nodded as he flew up into the air.

"Thank you Hahnubopraan. I'll do what I can." I answered.

He'd flown off into the distance, presumably to ensure his duties were taken care of, meanwhile the girls and I stared at the portal, with great awe and uncertainty.

"Mama, we shall stick by your side." The Older Ayisha told me as she held my hand.

"Mama, we will help you." The Younger Ayisha stated, as she held my other hand.

I looked at both of them, far braver than I ever was. I took another deep breath as we entered into the portal...

* * *

Once my vision had returned again, I could see the sky once more. It was dark, cloudy and stormy. Looking down I could see a reflection of myself and the skies above. Looking around, the entire ground was flat and even, like we were standing on a gigantic mirror.

Younger Ayisha pointed towards a gigantic tree growing in the distance. The three of us walked towards it, seeing it was absolutely huge, like almost the size of the Throat of the World in height! But it looked grey and...dead. It had green glowing veins and glowing vines that went in and out of the branches. We saw an old, broken down ruin, with several pillars, some broken and most still standing that surrounded the trunk of the tree, which was the width of three Jorrvaskr's. A set of stars lead up to the ruin itself.

Below the tree sat a being before it as we got closer, the ground covered with white feathers. The being was pure white. Almost blinding. It was a dragon, with a soft face and beaming blue eyes like sapphires. It's horns were pronounced but in symmetrical curls. It looked ill, laying in the ground with it's wings lying flat.

It lifted it's head as we reached the stop of the steps, staring at me as we stood before it. She looked...beautiful...but my heart could feel the pain she was having...somehow.

"Sotrahkun." I whispered, pitying the poor creature before me.

" _Petra. You have arrived at last. I'd held on as much as I can for you to arrive._ " She told me, her voice sounded...tired. Now I feel incredibly guilty.

"I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen." I told her.

" _Petra nothing is your fault here. You would not have any of your abilities let alone your spirit if we knew otherwise._ " Sotrahkun spoke calmly.

Her aura...her own spirit...felt like...it was...slipping away.

"Are you in any pain?" I wondered.

She tilted her head down.

" _The power of ones will is stronger than the ordinary mortal. I have felt every twist and every burn to the fabric of time. As do dragon kind. I guard the Maas, known as the Seed that grows into the Tree of Choices. I am tied to it as it is tied to me. It keeps me connected to my husband, Akatosh, the true ruler of time._ " She answered.

Every twist and burn. I wouldn't want to imagine where she would get that from.

" _But I am dying, Dovahkiin. You have seen me bleed, the blood of time seeping through cracks in the fabrics...the feathers that fall constantly._ "

I looked at the two Khajiit who both held a feather in their hands. That was...her?

"The Regkosot herself has spoken with you. Claimed you would need to meet with me to see how we can mend the future." I said.

Ayisha stood forward, the Elder one.

"Ayisha asks White one, that why would Mama need to die in order to save this land?" She asked.

Sotrahkun eyed the elder Khajiit.

" _You may not see it there Ayisha, but the death of the Dovahkiin herself, as the last one of time, is crucial between existence and non-existence. For if she were to die, existence would cease and reset anew. However, this is not the case for all timelines. A Dragonborn must not die until their journey is complete. then she would be sent to a time where we are capable of restoring the timelines before the Dragon Break that ruined your lines chances of survival_."

The Elder Squinted at her.

"But that does not make sense. Mama has long since passed in our timeline. For that which is true, why did our timeline not renew?" Older Ayisha wondered.

Sotrahkun's head lowered as she closed her eyes and rose her wings.

" _Ayisha, Petra's existence still lives, however not in the state of rectified choices. The last you saw of her, she had fled to Solstheim in the hopes of retrieving the Dragonborn who was still rumoured to live there and did not return. She was alive. But not in this realm._ " She replied.

She immediately looked at me and met with scorn. Oh shit...

"Mama left us to die? _"_  She said, almost getting teary.

I shook my head. Please don't. Oh Petra why do you do this? Even in the future I run away.

"What? No! Why in my right mind would I abandon everyone in the chance that this, Dragonborn, if they existed, would even aid us? Sotrahkun, you know I would never do that." I stated, trying to cover my ass.

She nodded.

" _It is a possible future that I cannot reveal to you, Petra at this stage. It's a possibility, depending on your actions here. Now I lay dying and I cannot fathom the choices you decide. However, my eldest son lurks near..._ "

* * *

We could hear a flutter behind us as we all turned around, seeing Alduin flying there, his red eyes of rubies burned into our minds.

"Monah, you protect the Dovahkiin who has delayed us to renew the worlds where we should lead! It is what Akatosh would want!"

Sotrahkun sat up and roared at her son.

" _Alduin! You have made a mess of things ever since you had claim over the Kel. You will make haste on the mistakes embroiled by your arrogance. Meyye, you must stop this immediately before everything is destroyed!_ "

Alduin spat. It was the kind of family argument that could actually kill us all.

"I cannot stop now. For it is not only I who have had this birthright! Dreh ni vodahmaan tol nii lost Gosvern nimaar tol brehnok hi nol zey!"

I watched as dragons started flying down out of the storm clouds above us. The same, spiky dragons As Alduin. No...

They were  _all_  Alduin.

Oh...Gods help us.

Sotrahkun stared him down.

" _Akatosh and I put you on Nirn to protect it! Your purpose was made clear when you first hatched from your egg! You were meant to lead your brothers instead you waste their souls on petty conquests...you know each and everyone of you are destined to fall by the Dovahkiin's hand because we have had enough of your disobedience!_ " She called out to him.

Prime!Alduin grumbled.

"Yes. So the youngest will combat the eldest to clean up for your mistakes! When will Bormah make his great entrance to smite his children? When?" He roared.

Sotrahkun flew up into the air, scattering her feathers everywhere.

" _He doesn't need to. I see everything, my Kul. He struggles night and day to make sure time flows ever onward from the Maas and that I protect it and the Tree of Choices. Instead, you slowly kill your own Monah and prefer existence everywhere to go. Do you not realize this will be the same...for you?_ " She put forth into question.

Alduin shouted fire in the air.

"Shor himself ruined the lives of Akatosh, and that this world is nothing but an insult! I aimed to make it a better place, but for now, it seems like there is no choice but to get rid of it." He declared.

Their discussions became rather philosophical and something that I'd never fully understand as they spoke of the Gods names, as their argument had warped into nothing but a fuzz. Ayisha believed their words weren't meant for us to know and comprehend, lest our heads explode in tandem.

We looked at all the other versions of Alduin awaiting the main Alduin's orders. There had be something special about this one, and why he lead all the rest. But how he continued to argue with his mother, that which has guided this world and protected it, it was a point that was clearly not going to get crossed.

I have to fight him, that's for sure. But nothing said I had to fight hundreds of Alduins. Nothing was written or hinted, but they all had the same hatred as each other, ready to kill once the main Alduin made the call.

"It is clear you will not change your mind Monah. With your death marks the final end of life and that cessation is the ultimate peace." He declared.

He charged at her, aiming to kill her. No. He wasn't...he wasn't going to touch her!

" _Then there is no place in this world for you, my Kul._ " Sotrahkun spoke with melancholy.

Sotrahkun spearheaded with Alduin as they flew around, throwing shouts of all kinds at her, while the others stood by and watched. Each strike done to her, I'd felt a pain in my chest. I winced and clutched. She and I were...linked somehow.

"Mama...if Sotrahkun dies, will Alduin absorb her soul?" The Elder Ayisha wondered as she held my hand.

I hadn't realized that. Sotrahkun, no. You can't die. No no...that was Alduin's intention. She can't do this...she can't die...

They were in the mess of the storms in the air and I could do nothing about it, not with these many dragons flying around me. Each of them the Harbinger of doom in their own times. What was I to do?

* * *

"I'd given Alduin the idea that absorbing Sotrahkun's essence would essentially let him destroy the Seed and let us all find our way to peace!" Prolg announced, donning his dark dragonscale armour. His scent smelled off and his face thinner than usual and a familiar fiery glow in his eyes.

I glared at him. How could he still say that?

"What? Existence will end you idiot!" I chastised.

"What version of peace you have your head is seriously messed up!"

Prolg did that irritating little smirk of his.

"I'd offered to turn you yourself, but you had to be the one in denial. Lord Alduin has constructed a means to get to true peace!" He claimed.

I was steaming. I wanted to stab my blade right through his chest and twist it about.

"I will take this on my shoulders if I have to. I will kill Alduin. ALL OF ALDUIN!" I roared before charging off into the fray.

"Mama! WAIT!"

I didn't care. I had to do this. And I needed help!

" **DUR...NEH VIIR!** " I shouted.

A power within me surged, summoning the undead dragon to this realm.

"You called Dovahkiin? I feel the call of time beckoning me to battle!" He said proudly.

I nodded.

"Go! Fight! Help Mother Sotrahkun! Alduin belittles us and existence depends on it!" I shouted.

He nodded.

"I do this for you!" He said/

He began the first charge at one of the Alduin who flew towards him. But...the powers in me...allowed my throat to mend and that I could bend, myself for another summon.

" **HAHNU...BO PRAAN!** "

Another burst of energy summoned the Amethyst Dragon to this realm.

"I have come, Dovahkiin. Alduin cannot bring harm to Monah!" He boasted, before flying into the fight.

I smirked. I'd almost felt the surge yet again. The time between using my shouts had become much quicker, but I didn't know why...it was like this was coming natural to me as a mortal than anything.

But my head hurt, it ached. Why...I felt a warmth underneath my nose, I touched it, seeing blood on the tips of my fingers. I was overdoing it.

But I couldn't do anything if I just stood there. I looked down, seeing words of power written on the floor everywhere. My eyes burned and my head was about explode as I absorbed all the power I was being given. Who...Sotrahkun...

I looked up as she flew around, barely avoiding Alduin as they roared and shouted fire and ice at each other. They were tearing each other to pieces. Sotrahkun was weak, but she put up a good fight.

The words...I felt dizzy...so many...so many words...

I fell to the ground...woah...my head...I...I..

My vision blurred alongside blacking out every so often. I could hear whispers behind the loud sound of my breathing.

"Mama!"

The girls got me off the ground and dragged me back to the tree. Wh...what was happening?

"It seems you're overdoing yourself here as a mortal. You are strong! No denying that, but unfortunately it's too much for your little human body to handle!" Prolg announced.

I spat at him, still reeling in what's left of me to reap in the anger.

"Was...was this his game all along?" I groaned.

"You have absorbed many souls Petra. Perhaps on par with the strengths of Lord Alduin, maybe Sotrahkun herself. The only way to win this, is lose what you hold dear to you, to know what is truth and knowing the ways that only dragons know." He said.

No...no I couldn't.

"Mama wouldn't..." Young Ayisha stated, feeling the heat of the situation.

"Mortals are...important. We live because we can...and...you can't change that...for you are one of us..." I said, out of breath as I sat against the tree.

"You want my son to keep on living? You want him to keep on breathing? Then make your decision Petra..." He said, taunting me.

I couldn't take this anymore.

" **HE IS NOT YOUR SON!** " I roared.

My very shout echoed throughout this realm, shaking the ground and tree respectively. I hadn't realised...what...what's wrong with me...this power...is uncontrollable. Gah...I held my stomach in as it giving me great pain, only for me to look up to see that Alduin had clawed Sotrahkun on her gut.

But Prolg seemed genuinely surprised.

"What?" He asked.

My stare pierced through his own soul as I made a devilish grin.

"Brynjolf is Mercer's son. Not yours. You hold no power over him. He has the right to do as he pleases." I told him outright, my voice encircled with echoes and inflections.

Prolg crossed his arms.

"Hmm...interesting. No wonder why he never did what he was told. His father was nothing more than Molag's pawn. Speaking of which..." He said.

Prolg whipped out a familiar mace with the green vein glow. I looked for mine...wait...

"Molag got tired of you and his deal with Sheogorath to protect you. I'd killed many in his name to be worthy of his attention and made me his new Champion. With the explicit intent of killing you first. But that will be spared until...what...GAH!" He said, being interrupted.

I turned to see Ayisha the Elder taking action in her battle pose with sparks in her hands and her face sneering at the pompous fool.

"Prolg will not hurt Mama!" She called to him.

Ayisha the Younger did the same as they both surrounded him. He'd gotten up with the two Khajiit on the offensive. He started laughing.

"Cats? Really? Magical cats. Your people are nothing but slaves to the Thalmor. Just like your mother Tsavani that day we kidnapped your family from Elsweyr." He boasted.

Both of them hissed.

I rolled my eyes and coughed up blood.

"That's sad Prolg. Needing to kidnap to further your own end." I said with calm fury.

He chuckled.

"Oh of course. You are certainly right my dear. The spell for your transformation requires the essence of the past, the present and the future. A Mane is perfect! One will know to rule, but the spirit is unique is that it's often surrounded with anti-magic protection, in that could win wars you know." He said, strangely.

I blinked.

"What?"

He threatened both the girls with the Mace of Molag Bal and transformed himself into a Vampire Lord, bursting out of the cocoon with an inhuman roar. I should have known those signs were familiar.

"They're incapable of transformation and immune to disease amongst their main natural powers. But they're both so...fragile..." He taunted, looking at them with a fake sad expression that it made my blood boil.

"Like their mother of course. I am not going to turn you into a vampire don't worry. That is the opposite of my intention..."

He cast a spell that sent shockwaves around him and that it sent the girls flying, getting caught by the random Alduin duplicates.

"NOOOO!" I roared

By sudden instinct I felt a shout erupt before me from and instinctive urge. A shout vomiting from my mouth once more.

" **YOL TOOR SHUL!** "

A barrage of fire was sent on Prolg, burning that pathetic skin of his. I knew what it felt like. It was rotten. It was nasty and just outright wrong. I gritted my teeth at him, giving him strenuous glares.

"You have no hold in this realm. What you hold in your head is an illusion and a facade for the hate you hold for us all. Your son deserved a better father..." I said strongly.

My eyes twitched with a seethed hiss and a deep loathing for him. I had the power of the dragonborn flowing around me in a charged aura as I picked Prolg by his wings, both of them. I pushed my foot against his back and pulled them off with all my strength. His scream of agony was music to my ears. It forced him to transform back into his normal form.

I then picked him up by his neck and held him up to the sky and tightened my grip.

"I am not going to kill you...no...I will let Brynjolf kill you.  **Meyz Lein Griid!** " I said calmly, before I shouted.

Upon my beck and call, the Realm-Walker was summoned. It worked. It actually worked.

"Hey I didn't know there was a shout for me. You could have used your ring ya know." Realm-Walker noted. Her eyes scrawled around my face.

"Man, you look like crap."

I looked at her up and down, her own cloaked tattered and her armor charred.

"Likewise." I commented as I grinned.

"You two will regret this...GREATLY!" Prolg complained.

I lifted my head.

"Hey, I'm gonna send Prolg to Bryn. Turns out he's not really his father. I figure Bryn would prefer to kill him instead with no reservations." I suggested.

The Realm-Walker smirked. I knew she'd get a kick out of that. I knew she knew that, my anger wasn't reserved for her secrets right now.

"I'll be sure to tell him that. Come on loser...get your arse over there! CHELL!" The Realm-Walker responded.

As I threw a devastated and pathetic Prolg to the Realm-Walker, Chell appeared before her and instructed her as such to allow Prolg's fate to be decided by the man who he once called son, but not anymore. Chell nodded and punched Prolg in the face, before teleporting back to the Laaglein.

I turned to the Realm-Walker as I wiped blood off my face.

"How are you guys holding up?" I asked, worrying about the other battle as well.

She nodded, before she watched Alduins battle with Sotrahkun.

"We're holding them off as much as we can. The fact that you're summoning me here means you're having great progress. Can't really get into this place otherwise. Besides that, we're all getting there...huh...so that's Sotrahkun? Interesting...well, Sheogorath sent reinforcements, saying they're keeping some of the dragons at bay...but now there's really weird things going on back in Tamriel." She replied.

I tilted my head.

"How so?" I wondered.

The Realm-Walker rubbed her head.

"There have been reports of dragons flying towards the Throat of the World for some reason or another. Paarthurnax has sent word letting us know that they've begun flying around it, as if, waiting for something." She answered.

I looked up at Durnehviir and Hahnubopraan still fighting off Alduin duplicates.

"They must know what's going on here." I muttered.

The Realm-Walker was still in a state of disbelief.

"We're not just talking about a couple of dragons I mean, hundreds of them all flying around the Throat, making everyone baffled from Ivarstead and Whiterun Hold too." She continued.

Why so many? Perhaps Alduin wishes to summon them if needed. I dunno.

"What about the Greybeards? What have they said?" I questioned.

She shook her head.

"Don't bother. They've locked themselves within High Hrothgar and resorted to nothing. Or what ever. Didn't think they would actually be cowards after all. Maybe because they're old? Bah. Who knows? I'm not going in there to find out. I have better matters to worry about." She said.

Fair enough. But we needed more allies. I knew of a few people that may be able to aid us. I grabbed out a note that Delvin gave me previously.

"If you can, speak with Astrid of the Dark Brotherhood. She's a friend of Delvin's, by extension the Guild's. Give her this note. She should be able to help out with a few things." I told.

She took the note and smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind. We need more warriors." She said, agreeing with me.

She then looked up, as I stared along with her seeing both Ayisha's being carried around by the Dragons.

"Ah they're both here. Good, good. That means we're definitely getting somewhere." She said.

I looked at her skeptically. My mind had been so warped I'd almost forgotten. I had to save them!

"Good? They're being harassed. I'm torn between what I should do now. I need to help them!" I cried out.

She nodded.

"Okay, fine. Help them. But how are you going to fight off this many Alduin, Petra? Those dragons are struggling enough as is, and you're barely holding yourself together. I think we both know what you should actually be doing." She said.

My eyes widened. No...she couldn't be referring to that?

"What? No! I can't! If I do that...I don't...I..." I stuttered.

Gods Petra, you're such a coward.

She walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders.

"Petra, listen to me. I'm going to tell you a story about a girl named Udiga Arch-Fire. Diga for short. She was once a fearsome warrior capable of great and terrible things. Her ultimate fear was losing herself and others she cared about. She was selfish but learned to be selfless in her actions. She was the mother of her people, including her sisters, Sandra and Syndia. There was a mighty foe that needed to be slain since his...policies weren't exactly forthcoming. And he had the power of the Gods. Once he was dead, she was free. And her freedom allowed her to find out what more she could do." She explained.

I blinked, puzzled.

"What was that?" I wondered.

She looked down.

"She became like a God herself." She revealed.

I was confused by her story as she stood back.

"Think about Petra. It is possible. You can do it."

* * *

I stood there as she disappeared. I wasn't...entirely convinced of the ordeal. How would my actions as a God dictate time itself. I'm just a pathetic Dragonborn...that just...can't...I can't. Don't cry Petra...the Realm-Walker is right. You have to do this for the sake of time. You can't let it end because you're in such reluctance to do so. Do it Petra come on...believe in yourself just this once. Please...

Please.

I took a deep breath. I have no idea what I am doing but I'm going to do it anyway. I wish Bryn was here to help me...but for the sake of this world and the next, and those before ours and beside ours because we are destined to save not just one, but all of them. For all the Dragonborn across every time line. It must be I to save those who do not know they need saving.

Grabbing the Elder Scroll on my back, I looked at the dying Tree of Choices. This world cannot fathom the powers that contain it much longer, I must do something. But what? First things first. I save both Ayishas. I will do that. And I will do this. I know I can.

" **Bo...VOND UFT!** "

I put away the scroll then flew up in the air with the wings of the dragons on my back as I pulled out Dragonbane. I don't know what good it'll do. But it will have to. I get the sense an Alduin is not an easy kill like your average dragon. No matter. I'll give it a go.

I flew around, dodging and weaving Alduin aiming for Hahnubopraan, Sotrahkun and Durnehviir who were barely managing their own against the duplicates. This was a hopeless battle. Sotrahkun was the first to fall as she dropped to the ground. I screamed, holding my chest as I struggled to maintain my balance. No... She rolled around before hitting the ground itself. She flew back up, losing more feathers as she approached me.

" _Dovahkiin, It is hopeless to fight Alduin. He embodies the true cycle of our power. I embody Life, Alduin embodies death and Akatosh holds rebirth. We are the beginnings and ends of time. Any of us die, then worlds will fall before you know it. I am already dying and my death signals the cessation. I will direct Hahnubopraan and Durnehviir to save the Khajiit. I will then do what I can to summon Jen Dovah into this realm."_ She told me.

I nodded. As she was the one who wanted me here, she must know my true path in all of this.

"What should I do?" I asked.

She looked down.

" _Head down to the Maas, the Seed and prepare the use of the, Kel, the Elder Scroll. I know your hesitation and your doubt. Trust me as your Monah to say that you are ready for this, Petra. Hold your head high!_ " She voiced to me.

I tried to. Gods, I tried. I flew down to the trunk of the tree. I had the Elder Scroll in hand. I wasn't sure where the seed was, my guess was that it was within the base. Only a guess, nothing more. I watched as the Amethyst Dragon and the undead Dragon fought off the Alduin to save the Ayisha's.

Thankfully, I wasn't doing this alone.


	96. Dreamsleeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sacrifices must be made, for the betterment of existence.

 

The battle became much more intense when Sotrahkun summoned as many Amethyst Dragons as she could muster as they appeared out of their violet spheres, roared into the stormy skies and charged into the fray. They knew their real master and would do anything to protect her. Durnehviir had saved the Khajiit, and plonked them both before me. I thanked the Dragon as he flew back to the battle.

I knew it wouldn't have been easy to do. Alduin was the first-born. He'd hold the hierarchy of power any day, but these dragons were intelligent and powerful and that in their minds that power equals right. It had been a standing point since creation, they, the watchers of the world cradle, destined to make reality sink or swim throughout the course of our existence.

I Petra, would be amongst their ranks. Shunned for what and who I am...threatened by the presence of a mere mortal who would dare to hold their power. But then, once they meet me, they would respect the use of my thu'um, but by then it would be too late.

But to most I am their reaper and the harbinger of their doom. The one who should make them turn tail and run away at the sight of me. But the nature of their arrogance makes them foolish enough to face me. I know my dragon-self burns for dominance but as Petra, it's in my natural, human nature that I was risen with, with that finds itself in conflict. Perhaps its in that debate why we are chosen to deal with this burden ourselves because we can tell the difference of our urges and identify our true needs easier.

I now stand here with the girls as I hold the Elder Scroll in my hand, in front of the dying Tree of Choices amidst the roars and cries of the great battle that went on around us.

I stared at the Scroll, knowing it was a device of unfathomable power. That which had created and destroyed Gods. The Divine Elder Scroll they call it. I think now, I had no idea what I wanted to do when I got older and now that it was here, I think I should have joined the Companions to be stronger. And I need to be stronger. But...then I wouldn't have met Brynjolf...Gods this was tearing me up inside.

"Mama...are you okay?" Young Ayisha asked me.

I grasped the scroll in my hands. I would assume it would give and take like any other Scroll...wait....why would I assume that?

"Mama's just, trying to get herself prepared. I know we don't have long, I just need to know if I'm doing the right thing." I told her.

Elder Ayisha lifted her chin.

"You are most certainly doing the right thing. Fears are justified." She explained.

To throw myself away like that though. I wonder what could be achieved through such a sacrifice. Part of me didn't want Prolg to get the satisfaction of getting me to do what he wanted, what Alduin wanted after all, but...this is what I must do. After favoring mortality after much soul-searching.

I took a deep breath. If my life was to mean anything, it would meant giving existence another chance for all those who deserve to live on. I then looked at Ring of Verity on my finger. I took it off and gave it to Young Ayisha. I patted her on the head and looked at her.

"Give this to Papa. I..feel like I won't need this anymore." I said with sadness. "This is something I have to do on my own. Where I'll be, I will find you again."

Ayisha nodded and put the ring on her own finger. Realm-Walker...protect her.

"Is Mama not coming back?" She asked me sadly.

I didn't want to break the poor girls heart. I cannot guarantee where I must be in order to set reality right. I see so much before me and after me. My sight is not my own. Which Petra is this? That which makes me see strange things, hear words never said and words yet to be voiced. Is this the power of the Scroll? I saw my reflection in the glimpse of the golden casing. My eyes continued to glow and I could see the scars on my face lighting up like auroras. 

I'll ask again...which Petra is this?

"I...I don't know where I am going or what I will do or if I'll return. I will figure it out once I get there. The Ring will protect you." I told her.

The Elder Ayisha studied me. I wonder if she figured that this was where we were headed. The incoming fate. Her pretty head would hold secrets of a singular future.

I closed my eyes. I saw the girls as my Masser and Secunda. Or in their tongue, Jode and Jone.

"Then it is true what Sotrahkun said, that you will abandon us?" She questioned.

I sighed. I'm not certain if it was in the same context but...

"If I could have any other way, I wouldn't. I promise you both I will find a way." I told them. Although whether I'll get to keep that promise is another story.

She wasn't happy with the answer, but she had to bear it for now. I honestly don't know what will happen, but I aim to find out.

I turned back to the tree and held the Scroll out. Somehow, my whole life flashed before my eyes, holding a strong reluctance to open it. I took another deep breath and pulled it open. It revealed itself to me in the flashes of light coming from the weird diagrams and ushered me to shout.

" **Vos Skuld Rahnd"**  I shouted instinctively.

"Allow Gate Access..." The Elder Ayisha translated.

A torrent of wind and energy surged towards the tree, opening itself up to reveal the Seed that Sotrahkun had been protecting. It floated within the hollow trunk like a gigantic golden egg, streaming it's power within it.

"That which births the litter..." The Elder chanted.

"To that which takes our souls..." The Younger continued.

I wandered towards the Seed. I wonder.

" _MAMA!_ "

Before I knew it. Sotrahkun was sent slamming down in front of me. I winced and fell over, dropping the Elder Scroll. The Elder Ayisha went rushing for it. Only for Alduin to fly over and storm his way and roar in our faces. Typical.

"Thank you Dovahkiin. At long last I have proper access to the Maas. I will take my rightful place as ruler and destroy everything once and for all!" He boasted.

I looked at Sotrahkun, who lay dying on the ground. She was still bleeding feathers from off her body and pouring out of her wounds. I could feel each of them on my own body, stinging, strangely enough.

 _"Petra, continue the ritual. It's not finished!"_  She croaked.

I approached the White Dragon and caressed her head.

"Sotrahkun...come on, stand up!" I cried.

Alduin got closer to the seed as I got sincerely pissed off. The Elder Ayisha managed to grab hold of the Scroll and continued the ritual herself.

"Ayisha has this Mama...lil' Ayisha, dragon-speech!" She cried.

Younger Ayisha nodded, glaring at Alduin as he approached.

" _Jaaril faal Maas tol ofan mii laas, jaaril maas tol ofan mii lokal. Aak faal Dovahkiin wah ek mahtiid, wah lovok ahrk fil avok!_ _"_

Another burst of light sent Alduin back, as I tried catching Sotrahkun, for what ever dumb reason I felt I could catch a ginormous creature. I felt weak as she coughed. Gods no...Sotrahkun...Petra you idiot...

I could see a set of brass gates, fancy as they might be that lead to yet another realm. Should have known this would happen

" _Petra do what you can. You must hurry. Do not worry about me. You worry about going through those gates..._ " Sotrahkun called out.

Why did they look familiar? My eyes circle their shine and clarity as fog poured out around us. 

"She tempts you Dovahkiin...those are the gates to the Dreamsleeve. You will be erased out of existence, with no sense of self or even aware that you ever existed..." Alduin taunted.

A Dream? Yes! It was like the vision in the Laaglein, the gates that the Realm-Walker showed me. Of course! I looked at Sotrahkun. She must have been telling me this all along.

" _I assure you, you are making the right decision. You are blessed for choice and I mean that. Go! Now!_ " She roared to me.

I looked at Alduin, who snarled at me. I felt the Dragonself mantle itself on me, inciting courage into my ears.

"You have caused enough pain and anguish and I intend to finish it!" I yelled.

He lowered his head.

"So be it. So be it that you return or your whole world burns!" He boasted.

I rolled my eyes. Insane dragons never make sense to me anyway. Alduin just continued to be pathetic as always, drunk in his own power.

"You're going to do that irregardless if I'm alive or not." I stated, actually a bit peeved he had the nerve to think that.

My eyes linked with Sotrahkun's. I felt every bit of her pain and anguish. A creature of great power and beauty, a divine sight in itself, torn apart by her son. She deserved saving. She's been here for everyone and that's everyone in all time lines, keeping watch of the worlds. She has taken on this burden because she was there to be. She has to be. We've both suffered so much. But as a mortal, I doubt the amount of punishment I've taken would ever come up to measure the worth of hers.

The life of my spirit-mother is never one to take easy. I still needed vengeance for my own flesh and blood.

"Someone will stop you. And that will be me." I declared with confidence.

Within my heart and basic empowered instinct I charged forward. I continued to charge forward with great haste as Alduin shouted fire, at me, as I dodged out of the way.

"Either you want me to do this or you don't." I told him as I pulled out Dragonbane. Gods it was like he was flipping coins to decide on what he should do.

His eyes were filled with fire, matched my own azure pair.

"I must keep you on your toes otherwise Dovahkiin. I cannot find you worthy if you die." He taunted.

He screamed as he was struck by bolts of lighting, ice and fire. I could see the girls shooting their magic at him. My heart almost stopped at the sight of it.

"Ayisha!" I cried. No...don't sacrifice yourself for me.

"Mama...go, we'll hold him off...we'll protect Sotrahkun...GO!" The Elder Ayisha told me, throwing me the Divine Elder Scroll. Her eyes, both of their eyes and stances that held great magic within them, her status as Mane and a practitioner of unique talents. I wouldn't want them to die because of me. Petra come on, it's right there! Run! Go see forth the gates of the Dreamsleeve.

Are you afraid of losing yourself still? Don't be. You were meant for this Petra. I held onto the necklace pendant. I prayed to Brynjolf.

"Please...be okay." I whispered.

With what ever chunks of strength I had, I forced myself to stand to stare at the golden lights of the gates entrance. I put the Scroll on my back again and mustered myself. The gates beckoned me to enter. The power, unending and unknown. I put one foot in front of the other and needed to get this done now! Do it now Petra! Just get it done...

I looked back, seeing the Ayisha's combating Alduin. They then took their place in front of Sotrahkun and summoned a barrier. It had to be that...type of anti-magic that was spoken of. Now I see why her magic could help Brynjolf when he was possessed. It made sense. The Mane of the barriers that protect the Khajiit people from harm. To lead and the heart to guide them through darkened times.

Gah stop it Petra. You know what you have to do. Do it already!

I ran through the gates and I didn't stop.

* * *

It's never anything you would expect from lands like these. Most days were not really special, and you would just treat them like any other day. You wake up, you eat, you do what ever, you eat and go back to sleep. Day in and day out and sometimes the excitement is just missing from your life.

You can feel what ever you can feel and you can often get the influence from those around you. Yes, you can know of the mundane that surrounds your life and you know that's not often a bad thing. It makes those moments of extraordinary dealings give you that special spark. It's the break away from normalcy for that one moment that makes you feel amazed that somehow it exists.

Being through multiple realms no longer phases me. It's the ways the foundations work apparently. I wasn't all too keen on all the traveling but it beats running a merchant stand anyday. Theiving was work that I could do and do well. And it never got boring.

Now dealing with insane magics and god like issues would have never been planned by logical people. Mages might study it, but for as long as history was, you'd never hope to achieve absolutely everything in those fields. Whether where I was now would earn the envy of those scholars whom have theorized the very nature of these fields. I could tell them, yes I was there and here's how it works. To uncover some wonders however, it made me feel that sometimes these secrets aren't meant for us to know.

Is it my dragon self telling me that? Everyone keeps telling me about instinct and all that nonsense. Months ago I'd be less inclined to do anything like this, let alone be left standing. I'm a sad sack, a milk-drinker, a coward. I'm a lot of things and I would have never fitted the description of Dragonborn otherwise until that day at the Western Watchtower.

I can't tell if I'm believing it all now though. All the stories, the hints and the travesties. Here I am, at the endgame of it all. Dunno how dramatic it would be and I was still outright scared. I don't want to die. But I may not have a choice.

But they say I do. See, that's what gets me. Where is the choice factor that I'm so blessed to have? How much do I have to scream and shout until someone tells me the answer?

I'll found out soon enough. I walked up a set of stone steps, seeing fog everywhere as I got higher. It was even a bit chilly, even for nord standards. I had gotten to the top, where my eyes widened as I looked at the starry night sky, filled with beautiful colours and stars. The fog was unusual, like, as I was walking around, it was like I was practically walking on clouds. But the vision above me was the most stunning thing...like there was cloud formations around the stars...possibly...I dunno, like a dust or what ever. But there were several in the sky. One green, in the shape of a thief? One orange in the shape of a warrior with an axe and another in blue in the shape of a mage. Distinctive as I could see the constellations that were within them.

Was I in Aetherius or Sovngarde maybe...

This place felt, I dunno. Like the description a mortal could not state. You would have to be there to feel it.

I could see someone approach me, wearing black robes. Their skin tanned, like an imperial, their hair black and eyes glowing white. He smiled as he came up to me.

"Greetings Petra." He welcomed. As with most figures I've come across, his voice echoed and held several inflections, but he was cheerful for a change.

"We've been expecting you. I'm here to talk about your transition on behalf the Aedra that help maintain Mundus. Alduin has broken the laws of time and I am here to guide you through that process."

I acknowledged that, albeit reluctantly. I knew this day would come.

"I understand that completely. Sotrahkun is dying. Everything will cease if we do not act." I told him.

I was still outright terrified, but I couldn't identify the Petra taking hold of me....definitely not the Dragonself...nor the Thief Petra.

"Yes that is true. I sense your hesitation and fear. That is okay. Most who enter the Dreamsleeve have their soul essence dismantled and reused for another purpose, losing the sense of self and the mind in the process to be used in the next life. For all those whom have died and have not gone to their heaven...like Sovngarde." He explained further.

I had a feeling this would happen. But nonetheless.

"As you've been made aware, you are Dragonborn. Like those of ages past, can choose where to go after death, as a reward for their services rendered. It is the highest honour and the greatest gift that the Gods have given you."

I sometimes refer to it as a curse.

"The transition has been done before with the use of the Divine Elder Scroll. That which had helped Tiber Septim become Talos the God, and that which ascended Alduin and his brothers to a state of more power but in doing, corrupted their very being. Give me the Scroll, and I will prepare the next phase of the ritual."

I was hesitant for this as well. I grabbed it, and felt the golden ridges. I then looked back at the man.

"If it makes it easier, I'll tell you a bit about me. I am Martin Septim. I sacrificed my life to send Mehrunes Dagon back to Oblivion and helped seal the Oblivion Gates."

My eyes widened. Why is it that all these famous figures just pour into my life? Crisis's like these tend to attract incredible heroes, I'd wager.

"Wait...you're him?" I said with disbelief.

He smiled. He did have the air of a former mortal about him.

"Yes. I am aware of the path of the Champion...it's interesting how our lives are all fundamentally linked. My ancestor Tiber Septim was one of your predecessors. And your...fiance Brynjolf is his latest descendent. I have been watching over him and his family for a while now, on behalf of Akatosh and Talos himself, to ensure that he could succeed and live on with the blood line. But it seems that you were chosen by Akatosh to hold the bearings. The descendant of my old friend and comrade in arms, Sheogorath, or as he was once known as, the Hero of Kvatch and the Champion of Cyrodiil. I am not complaining about his choice, as I do not doubt the Dragon God of Time. This is fate for the fateless." He stated.

Ironic. Still...

"You call me fateless. Yet the Gods know what I will do when the time comes. And that time has now come. If I choose the right decision, does that make it that I have fallen into their grand design?" I queried, my brain wracked with confusion.

"To an extent. You can fix it. But ultimately, what you decide to do, not in terms of what will happen now, but afterwards is entirely up to you. When you go through that part, you'll understand what I mean." He answered.

I nodded. I think I understood that much. I hope. I was still nervous.

"Well, I think I am ready as I'll ever be. Here, I think you've proven your point well enough. You still hold honour with the Empire, even in it's current state. Even if the Thalmor and the Aldmeri Dominion still hold their false terms with it, a lot of us know the truth." I said, being truthful.

He bowed his head.

"I thank you for that Petra." He said." Now, are we ready to begin?"

I pursed my lips and was nearly shaking. I gave the scroll to Martin as I walked back.

"What do I have to do now?" I asked.

He took hold of the scroll and looked at me.

"I've been told it's not exactly a painless transition. Your mind will not be what it is now. You will hold comprehension of the immortal plains as you lose your mortality one last time. You will know power like none other...and the necklace that you wear...the one that I knew all too well through the Oblivion Crisis...hehe...should have known Sheogorath would find all the pieces again...the old, Amulet of Kings..." He revealed, to my shock.

I blinked. Wait...what? That Amulet that turned Martin into a dragon? Surely...

"Yes...he's a good person, even if he is a Daedra now. I might be in Aedric form, but I still hold my memories. I can use the Scroll on the Amulet as well. If you desire to use it again. You make a covenant of what ever you wish. Like I have stated, anything could happen. So...during the transition, if you can find what ever you can feel that would work well in this life that you could use in the next, contain it within the Amulet. Whether it's to prevent opening of Oblivion Gates, which wouldn't be necessary, or a piece of yourself within it. You have more power over it's design than anyone else. Have a think about it."

I felt the pendant beneath my fingers. This was some weird coincidence indeed. I pray that I finally understand it all when it happens. I pray to my own line of choices that I can say that I can do it. That I can mend time once and for all.

"I'm ready Martin. I'm ready to fight. I want to cast away my fear but I know that's not possible. But I can acknowledge the courage that it takes to enact. I have lived in fear but now I will endure and stand above it. Alduin will pay. That I swear. I will set it right again! That is for certain!" I said, for once in my life, without the hint of doubt.

I think Martin was pleased with those words. He'd been through it all before. He knows what true sacrifice is. And I am to see through it until the end.

"Petra, the Last Dragonborn, you who have lived and fought in the name of the spirit-father Akatosh, Bring forth the architects in the Dreamsleeve to rebuild your mind, body and soul to take you where you must be. Where you are needed most...what needs to be rebuilt?" He chanted.

He looked at me. He wanted me to answer.

"Time." I spoke sternly. I swallowed as my throat was clogged in anxiety.

He lifted his chin.

"What needs to be saved?" Martin continued.

I think this needed more answers.

"Time needs to be saved. And everyone else lost to this forsaken madness." I replied.

I could feel something rise within me as a light began to surround me. I fear this may be the last time we get to speak to one another. He asks me more questions which get more complex for me to tell you. Petra fades away and is reborn elsewhere. I answer honestly and truthfully, trying not to leave anything behind.

_I love you Brynjolf...I'm sorry._

I'll thank you friend for allowing me to share this with you, as I must bid you...goodbye.


	97. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf's tested in more ways than one.

 

This battle was long and harsh and just really tiring. The forces that just kept coming were nearly unbearable at times that it was killing me from inside. I just hope what ever Petra was doing was going to work. I don't even know what she's doing but she has my complete faith.

I'm fighting alongside the Nerevarine and it just seems so endless. How could any of us possibly win? I'm just a man.

The strangest sight would have to be that while we were defending the Timestream with our lives, none of the dragons were even attempting to enter it. Which I found strange. I spoke with the Nerevarine about it, who just told me to keep fighting, but he had also agreed with me. However, with me and my big mouth, everything just sort of...froze. Don't know how, but the dragons seemed to slow down and fly in one place, staring at the currents themselves, as if waiting for something.

In that next moment, the mute lass returned, holding, who would you know it, my own father by the hand, who had blood pouring from his nose and a black eye. That woman was either vicious or somebody else did that. By the heated look on her face and the steep of her brow...I was going to say the former. Or a bit of both. Why not? The ass deserved it. She slapped him down in front of us as the fighting calmed down. The Draugr themselves seemed very confused, seeing their masters flapping in the air like that. And the hopeless Thalmor, or what was left of them, had absolutely no idea what was going on.

It gave us a moment to finally speak with the bastard and to get rid of all the crap he's put us all through. The Nerevarine put him back on his feet, only for the mad man to start chuckling. Nere punched him in the face, dazing him slightly.

"What's so funny?" I asked him, there's not enough scorn for this man, clad in his black dragonscale armour and missing a few teeth.

"Everything is going according to plan..." He sputtered in between his frustrating little laughs.

The Nerevarine and I exchanged glances.

"The plan? What plan?" I asked.

He grinned, what was left of his teeth stained with blood.

"Oh the plan Brynjolf. It's beautiful. Don't you see? The Dragons, await for the battle to see where our master hides. For if Alduin cannot destroy time, he will let time destroy itself...but if time cannot destroy itself...then he becomes time..." He said as he looked up.

We all looked at the skies, misty as they were, as hundreds of dragons poured down, looking over the Currents.

"They're all fools...the lot of them." He spoke.

"Why so damn many?" The Nerevarine questioned.

I crossed my arms. I'm trying to think of that myself. It was then a red dragon flew down beside us and landed. The lot of us prepared ourselves, with that Wheatley elf nearly shitting himself and cowered behind Chell. He didn't look like any other dragon that we've seen. None that we've encountered. But he was a non-hostile, from his...well a dragons version of a humble approach. We all kept on our guard.

"So you're the one called Brynjolf." The dragon spoke.

"Prolg told me a lot about you."

Prolg smirked.

"Odahviing old friend! Come to watch the show?" Prolg asked smugly.

The red dragon grumbled.

"Tiid splinters and falls as part of Alduin's plan." He said.

I kept myself on edge in case he tried anything. I wanted to let him explain himself or anything before I made any sudden move. I looked at his figure, scales that were and shone like garnet. He definitely looked fierce enough, and his wings looked like they had stains of blood.

"Tell us, Odahviing...what's going on?" I demanded, leering at the monstrosity.

Odahviing looked towards the currents, just like all the others.

"They sense a critical moment in the breadth of the Dragon Break. All Dovah feel the use of the Elder Scroll when it is in use. There is shifting...and changing." He explained.

Petra...is that you? Has to be her. There is no other.

"So what's the idea anyway? All we've heard is what baldy here has told us. Which hasn't been much..." The Nerevarine said, giving Prolg a fist in his gut.

"I had taken Paarthurnax's place, as Alduin's lieutenant after Paarthurnax turned traitor. However, while I desire to lead my fellow dovah into battle...I have spoken with Paarthurnax himself, whom, we both battled until he decided to drown his cowardice into speak. He's spent too much tiid with joor, especially the Greybeards." The Dragon explained.

Another reasonable Dragon. Petra would be proud.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM! He's the one who brought you down to nothing but bone!" Prolg roared, before the Nerevarine punched him again.

"Paarthurnax and I had a long tinvaak, debating the treachery Alduin was about to commit, until he started telling me that the Dovahkiin had gone into the Currents of Time. It was then, I had felt an urge that I had no longer felt in many an era. One that all current Dov have been repressing since Alduin traded our guardianship with the Laaglein to one of the dominance and destruction." Odaviing continued.

Prolg tilted his head.

"Alduin gave you a gift!" He proclaimed, earning another dunmer filled punch.

"It is only now we are beginning to remember who we once were. Vahlok do faal Tiidven. They're all debating within themselves, whether to support Alduin, or...oppose him..." The Red Dragon stated further.

They looked up as it began to rain feathers. They all roamed around and found places on the ground to sit.

"We wait." Odahviing stated.

"You idiots!" Prolg berated.

"You are all idiots!"

It was once amusing to see him annoyed, but it became annoying very quickly as he was losing his mind faster than you'd imagine him to.

"It doesn't matter...it doesn't matter. It's not long now until he gets what he wants...and it would be  _allllll_  because of me!"

The Nerevarine rolled his eyes with the intent of hitting him again, but I sensed a hidden meaning behind his words.

"Because of you? What? A leader of Cultists? Crazed and outdated in this age. You're out of your league Prolg." I told him outright.

He then started laughing...first it was like a small fit, then it escalated into a disturbing cackling as he looked up, with nothing but terrifying madness in his eyes.

"I am out of my league? Oh my boy...you are ignorant. Alduin is quite stronger than you think...hahaha..." He laughed.

I took the Nerevarine's position and punched him in the face this time. And damn it felt good.

"Tell me what is it that we don't know!" I spoke calmly, in that pathetic face of his.

He looked at the raining feathers that scattered all around us.

"Ahh I suppose it wouldn't actually matter now. Truthfully, first things first. I am not your father. Never was." He revealed.

My eyes widened.

"What?"

He chuckled as he sneered at me.

"Your mother philanderized around as I suspected. She never wanted to marry me. Instead, your father is that insipid crazed former Guild Master, you know, the one you served under for so long and betrayed you in a lust for power." He continued in attempts to bring my morale down.

No...it couldn't be.

"Are...are you saying Mercer is...my father?" I said with disbelief.

He nodded, grinning at me. I squeezed my fist in so hard, I was ready to kill him.

"You lie." I said outright.

He chuckled.

"Not now. I haven't so far. You even have part of his shadow with you! You have mostly your mother in you...and your tendency to enjoy the most bizarre company. But yes...your father...the con, the liar, the murderer, the rapist, the pillager. His very blood runs through your veins...how does it feel?" He said, trying to get under my skin.

All this time, the way I trusted Mercer all those years...when he took me in that fateful day in Riften. Did he know? I felt that we shared something and it felt real. He taught me the ways of thievery and let me handle the details when moments got rough. He trusted me because I was his own son.

But...I still can't take him like my father after what he did to Petra. Both my false and true fathers were both madmen, pursuing that which was beyond the line of what was considered moral. They both both far passed that line they were...actually in Oblivion.

"Bryn don't listen to him..." The Nerevarine told me.

I looked at the man who just ate the shocked expression on my face. He was having a great time, despite the bleeding and the bruising. The Nerevarine kicked his chin, forcing him to whince.

"Don't divert the subject you s'wit! Tell us, what is Alduin going to do?" He yelled in my defense.

He licked his lips as I could see the red in his eyes.

"Let's start with a story. I once took a trip to Solstheim to find pieces of the puzzle that involved the Dragon Priest that killed Zoklotinhaar in the past. I was curious to find out the last few pieces and was incredibly in awe of the power he had used. In all sense of the word, the Priest was dragonborn. I've gone into many temples, finding black books. I had, been transported to another world, meeting a strange set of tentacles with eyes. The sky was green and the water was black, and buildings aligned and shifted. I was no doubt in the realm of Apocrypha and the creature I had met was none other than Hermaeus Mora, Daedric Prince of Knowledge. I had pleaded with the Daedra I sought out the Dragon Priest who defied the dragons long ago. Next thing I knew, I was meeting up with a strange man, wearing an odd mask, but it fitted the description of what the dragons called..."

"The Vostahdim Lir." Odahviing interrupted.

Prolg nodded slowly.

"I was there, meeting history itself. I told him, I'd serve him as long as he gave me the knowledge of how he defeated Zoklotinhaar in the past. I plotted and planned for years...I'll spare you the rest of the details...but I got what I wanted in the end, a spell...no no...a shout that allows dragons to instantly consume souls." He said.

I looked at Odahviing, who seemed horrified at the concept. Now that he spoke about it, I do recall his name was Miraak.

"Is that true? Is there a shout that can do that?" I asked.

He looked down, then up and stared at Prolg.

" _Grik Zaan los miinahsul vokorasaal kroson do deyra_. It is heinous and heretical. To do so and not at the end of combat would be considered offensive and punishable." The Dragon stated in disdain.

The Nerevarine crossed his arms.

"Wait, so if Alduin wanted a shout that could get souls that easily, why couldn't he just use it on Petra straight away?" He queried.

Prolg laughed.

"What makes you think he wanted to use it on Petra? Hah...fools..." He teased.

Odahviing looked at the water.

"Meyye...he wants to use it on Monah. Alduin would absorb the soul of Sotrahkun? There is a reason why she guides the Maas, the Seed at the beginning of time..." Odahviing revealed, stunned.

I rubbed my chin. This didn't make any sense. Alduin clearly knew where Sotrahkun was and could have her soul any time he wanted...unless.

"Prolg, Petra told me that you wanted to use the Elder Scroll to turn her into a God. What purpose would that have?" I asked him.

He giggled. I drew out Rahkes, since apparently he wasn't my father, he had no real reason to live.

"Why say it? When we can expect the show to happen at any moment now? Don't you feel it Odahviing? The vibe of the power itself...it draws near..." He said, obviously hinting something.

Odahviing growled. Suddenly the dragons themselves shot up one by one, diving into the Currents at great haste. He rose his wings.

"A great shift has occurred and-"

Suddenly a wave of light charged through us and around us, almost blindingly so. I had no idea what was going on. But I felt like I was underwater, with feathers floating in the air. The others and I went to Odahviing as a purple dragon flew towards us. I summoned Zoklotinhaars armour and raven wings as the Nerevarine grabbed hold of Prolg, with Chell and Wheatley following suit as the Amethyst Dragon flew near us.

"Jen Dovah, what is going on in there?" Odahviing demanded.

I could see...two Ayisha? How was that...no time to think about that. I then saw the Realm-Walker flying nearby. Her face was rather pale surprisingly, as she flew towards me.

"What is it?" I asked her.

She had a hard time looking me in the eye, then forced herself to do so.

"Quick, we have to get back the Shield of Aetherius. It's getting pretty heated in there...look at the state of the Laaglein!" She called out, pointing behind us.

I looked around us, like whirlwinds of a myriad of colours as feathers were scattered everywhere.

"What is...where's Petra?" I asked her.

She pursed her lips and looked behind me. I squinted...what...

* * *

I then heard a huge explosion and a loud shattering sound like glass breaking.

" _RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.._ "

That was a roar of a dragon, but a thousand times louder than what I'm used to that all of us just cupped our ears. Gods..I turned around, seeing a huge dragon...dragons are bloody large in general, but this one...circled and battled with one that was much smaller than it, but...this large one was like seven times the size of a regular dragon, with feathers on it's back and scales on it's wings. that sparked like diamonds and eyes of brilliant sapphires, a face soft and less pronounced and four horns that curled from it's head and an interesting mane of even more feathers and it's tail split into four somehow. The way she flapped her wings, sounded like thunder as the noise reverberated everywhere.

"She's back. The White Dragon of the Feather. Sotrahkun." The Realm-Walker uttered in stunned mutters.

"She holds more power...see, there's Alduin as they fight it out..they'll transcend realm after realm. It's the fight that will never end."

"Oi! What do we do?" Wheatley yelled as he sat a top Odahviing.

The Realm-Walker looked at me. She was almost out of ideas on this. And here's us thinking we're getting somewhere. But...the face she had...was like that of guilt. But I don't exactly know what she'd been guilty of.

"Chell, create a mega portal if you have enough energies. Change of plans! We need to go to Throat of the World." She announced.

The other lass nodded as she stood up on Odahviing and waved her arms about, one hand holding blue energies and the other orange. It was in that next moment, everything had gone white.

* * *

Next moment I felt an instant chill running down my spine as we stood feet first in the snow. I could hear the numerous cries of the dragons perched up on the mountain itself, with Paarthurnax sitting on the word wall, looking over the tundras of Whiterun Hold.

"The Greybeards have a few visitors to this area, sitting in the tower next to High Hrothgar." Paarthurnax revealed.

"The final battle has yet to begin, but it is best you meet up with them there. I will speak with Hahnubopraan, Odahviing and Durnehviir about this...leave the Priest here, we shall speak with him as well."

The Nerevarine and I smirked at one another.

"Gladly." We said in unison.

The dunmer left the man to rot in the snow, amidst the towering nature of the dragon gods he so adored.

I was glad to be rid of him, as we descended the mountain.

* * *

I lead the group to the tower that Paarthurnax mentioned, that I recall Petra and I coming across a few times. I had hoped not to come back here again. But there were quite a few higher ups that I noted. The Jarl of Whiterun with his housecarl; Balgruuf, the Jarl of Windhelm; Ulfric Stormcloak with his, Delphine and Esbern who were perhaps in the middle of arguing, and were stunned to see us.

"Brynjolf." Delphine worded sternly.

"Where's Petra?"

I looked down, then looked at the Realm-Walker.

"Would anyone mind telling us what is going on? I received a letter telling us to meet here, what I wasn't expecting was to encounter a hundred dragons on my way up..." Ulfric demanded.

"They wouldn't go out on a whim to kill you like that." Delphine told him.

The Realm-Walker stepped forward.

"No. I wouldn't. Let me explain because I know you two would understand this more than most, having taken the faith of the dragonborn legend and the end times brought by the World-Eater himself." She started.

The two jarls I hardly knew myself, one was a neutral party in the war and the other the leader of a rebellion we didn't give two septims about.

"Because you all need to see this and note this down as a legend of despair turned hope. No one planned it like this. It's just happened as such. It's not a world of magic but a world of godlike power gone mad. This could mean the end of the world, but also the beginning. Soon, a creature like none other will enter this world, entrenched in great combat. It is why I had your people escorted to safer place during this crisis. All of your people."

Wait, she organised that? She had convinced them to evacuate?

"This isn't how it was supposed to be, and I think you all know that better than anybody. It's no ones fault, but Alduin's, decided to tide his own fate with an idea brought on by a shameless mortal. It is why the Dragonborn is dead."

I felt the warmth in my cheeks just fade away. No...she's not dead. What are you doing? The others, seemed to be in a state of disbelief.

"This was not how it was supposed to be, in that Gods have their own war and not to drag mortals into it. But Alduin insisted and forced his hand. He will make things worse if we do not take action!"

The Realm-Walker was fierce in her words, as I could see hear eyes starting to water. Gods, so it was true.

"Petra died so we could have the chance to win. She sacrificed her life for a Dragon called, Sotrahkun."

I never meant for this happen. I'd wager Petra never did either. My head was spinning as my heart grew heavy. Looking at the Realm-Walker, I don't know if she also intended for me to find out this way. But she's doing what she needs to, to convince potential allies to follow our cause. Balgruuf and Ulfric could be considered two sides of the same coin. Months ago, I was only really being cautious with Maven but here you have two Jarls, two of the ones I've been told are headstrong nords with steadfast beliefs as Ulfric took arms with his people, defending a God they felt they could contend to.

But dealing with this...nonsense, the stuff that mages would deal with, I'd fear it'd over their heads as well as mine. But each of them, even Delphine, had their own motives and intentions and whether any of them would get along would be irrelevant. If they got the gravity of the situation, they were pull their heads together and realize there are worse problems than theirs.

I....I needed to be strong for Petra's sake. She may...as much as I hate to say it, not be here with us...I know, not even just on the basis of the so called prophecies, she would have a decision...the right decision in the end. But I won't hear her side, I won't hear her voice again. I can't validate anything until she tells me. I want to believe she's in hiding again like she normally does and I would be the first to hunt her down. My mind still thinks that's her deal because she's done it many times before. This...refusal is stubborn and doesn't want to leave.

"Why do I know that name?" Balgruuf wondered.

"It is a name, written and unwritten in the fabrics of time. I have seen it myself." Esbern revealed.

The Realm-Walker lifted her chin then looked at Arngeir.

"Sotrahkun is known as the Mother of Dragons, the White Dragon of the Feather, Stormwings, Guardian of the Seed and the Tree of Choices. She has the ability to erase herself from history if she wants to, and make herself known by sending her name throughout time itself." The Greybeard made known.

"Wife of Akatosh, Spirit-Mother of Dragonborn. Heaven's Light, Gatekeeper of the Dreamsleeve. "from heaven it sheds mortals from, feasting on the teat of Kyne." Those sorts of things she is known as."

I agreed and recalled what Prolg said prior.

"Alduin plans to reap her soul now she is back at full strength by using a shout that is not normally known to Dragonkind, In fact, it's quite heretical to wield apparently." I said.

"And in the darkness of the void we fall into, for if she should fail and die by her sons hand. Such is the fate for us all?" Ulfric wondered.

Balgruuf shook his head.

"We are but mere mortals Ulfric. If for one moment we paid attention to anything in our short lives that we do not tread the path that Gods take. The Dragonborn paid that price..." He said with better words than I.

Petra told me once that Balgruuf was going to make her Thane of his hold, and offer a house in his city to her for sale. He was quite the admirer of her feats. I still believed she vastly underestimated herself at that stage.

"So what do we do? Stand here and do nothing?" Balgruuf said quite angrily.

Sadly, that may be all we can do. We're the top of our game here as leaders and creatures of our own, but we were no match for anything like this. My heart wants to weep for Petra, but it knows she's still out there somewhere...I just know it.

"We pray." The Elder Ayisha mentioned.

"Pray for what? Exactly? Not really going to get us anywhere." Delphine noted.

"Pray to Alkosh for his blessings." Lil' Ayisha spoke, her tiny voice filled with confidence.

"And who are these cats to know about the legends themselves?" Ulfric spoke, not hiding his dislike of beastkind. I glared at him on behalf of Petra. I wouldn't want her girls to be insulted like that.

"They are the Manes of their kind. Priestess's of the Moons. Their prayers have saved my life in the past." I told him.

Ulfric grumbled.

"Manes schmanes. None of that matters here. I heard your troupe went south, Brynjolf, courtesy of the Thalmor. How does it feel to be taken down a notch by those wretched gold-skins?" The Stormcloak mocked.

I blinked. I heard this guy was a brute on his own. He dare insult the guild like that? He was itching for a fight, I knew it.

"Please men, stop fighting...we have much bigger concerns. Ayisha, excuse the ignorance. Not all known of what you can do." Arngeir stated.

Both of them nodded.

"Join us in prayer, for prayer to Alkosh, prayer to Sotrahkun and to Petra, the Dragonborn." The Elder stated.

Balgruuf's dunmer housecarl groaned.

"Do we really have to do this?" She asked him.

Balgruuf looked at her.

"I do not know the strength of a Khajiit's spirit, their true spirit. But we all understand our prayers. Our prayers to our own Gods that we worship. For those of to have fallen before us, so we could live our lives in peace." He stated.

As much as I hated to say it, honoring the fallen wouldn't do much in terms of compared to honoring Gods, but both were equally important, it seemed.

Ulfric chuckled.

"Funny, that's the very reason I fight. Maybe you should take up my offer." He told Balgruuf.

By Shor, not this again.

"Lads, just do as the khajiit say. I was never a believer myself. While you were busy rattling in politics, I can tell you...I've been busy trying to keep up with the Dragonborn. While she was a Vampire, while she was cast to the Soul Cairn and we'd managed to bring her back to life. She's gone through more pain and suffering not because she was willing to, but because it was necessary for her, in mind, to make those sacrifices. She was a sad, small little girl who had no idea what to do...and..."

Were tears welling up? My vision became blurry.

"She had to do this. She knew it. Without her, I would have never found who I really was. A Septim."

Ulfric's housecarl hardly believed me.

"You speak of lies...nothing but them..." He scorned.

"Quiet Galmar, let him speak." Ulfric ordered, surprisingly.

"Do you intend to take this claim to the Elder Council if it's true?" Balgruuf asked me.

I shook my head.

"I don't want to lead. Never wanted to. But perhaps I may not have much choice in the matter. She taught me the fragility of life. How while we are nords at heart, that we still fear and cower. But that's to survive. Our pride is our downfall and Petra knew that. She did a lot that she hated but did it because it was necessary. How would you feel, if you were given a gift you never wanted, a fate you never wanted written. It'd be insulting to the Gods if you were to waste it away. She hated it. And she did it anyway, she did it somehow. Her heart was bigger than she thought it would be. Full of a fire that desperately wanted escape but she was conflicted in her own morals and her doubts in herself. The fact she believed in this...means a lot. It should mean a lot to everyone..."

Shor, I was...I was actually crying.

"No one else saw what she did! No one! No one knows Petra. They know what she is, but don't care for what she was as a person. Only as Dragonborn."

Argneir lowered his head.

"It is not that they do not wish to know. It is that they do not understand." He explained.

That was true..but that wasn't the point.

"She needs the faith of everyone to support her. Because handing it down to someone who would despise it takes a lot courage to take up the sword and go for it anyway." The Nerevarine continued, stepping forward. He should know this more than most...for all the while of the stories he's told me.

"Heroes come and go. You know them in stories for their heroic deeds and exploits. You don't get into their minds deep enough. We're not invincible. Incredible, but not without flaws. Not one person is perfect and while it is possible for them to do it, what makes it impossible is that people prefer to ignore a side of them that is very rarely seen. They don't dare show it because it brings about a bad reputation and makes them seem weak."

I nodded in agreement. He was definitely right.

"You know she was afraid to die? She was outright scared. She wants to live amongst those she calls family and friends. Because she loved us. She did truly care. And to become a hero, you have to protect those you care for, care for your ideals and wishes, to make those wishes come true by enacting the strengths you already have. Our support covers the weaknesses." I told them. Acknowledgement of fear I state is important as well. It's a pride thing, mostly, but it could mean the difference between life and death itself.

Delphine had the same expression that the Realm-Walker had. An expression of guilt.

"We're all concerned for Petra. Not all of us are capable of greater empathy after the war. Ulfric, you should know what I mean." She said.

The Jarl nodded and looked at me.

"The white haired mage here explained something interesting to me in the note. Your girlfriend, I met her during the ambush on the border of Skyrim...but, encountered her on the same carriage as we were about to get our necks carved at Helgen. She was willingly quiet. I was unwillingly silenced. She had to look of a woman in a trance, her eyes already dead to the world, tired and wishing for death. Each of us had gotten off the carriage. Turns out her name wasn't on the damned list to get killed, but damnable Imperials threw her out there. I'd never forget that day. That Alduin sat on that tower, shouting a fire storm that burnt through everything and killed everyone. The last I had seen her as she was navigating her way around, trying to get out like we were. I never ended up seeing her again after that. And now you tell me all of this...it makes more sense."

Galmar looked sombre.

"That day was full of death and shame. Shame on the Imperials..." He commented.

The Realm-Walker put her foot down.

"No. That was the work of the Thalmor. They'd left a booklet stating the affairs and plans of ambushing...wait...Petra..."

I looked at her strangely.

"What is it?" I asked.

She slammed a fist into her hand as she made a realization.

"Petra had the book the detailed the plans that brought the dragons back to Skyrim that could incapacitate the Thalmor. While she was imprisoned, she'd given it to a man named Hadvar...he should be out there somewhere. He said he was going to give it to General Tullius but he wasn't sure what he was going to do with it." She revealed.

I looked at the others. Balgruuf seemed surprised while Ulfric just looked smug. Arngeir was busy contemplating while Delphine nodded in agreement.

"So they really did decide to play this little game with us still. Fascinating." Delphine stated.

The Realm-Walker nodded.

"However the plan had gone haywire. Elenwen had it, then Petra had a time displacement. We still don't know who has it. Elenwen, or Hadvar." She stated.

Balgruuf became concerned.

"Wait, were you hoping to bring war back to the Dominion? After we struggled for peace for so long?" He complained.

"Just because your coffers with so stuffed with Imperial coin that it was coming out of your ass." Ulfric stated with venomous intent.

"The Thalmor tried to kill everyone and that's fact I'm afraid. Getting that book would get the Imperials to help us, in case this turns out to be a huge battle." The Nerevarine continued.

He wasn't wrong there.

"The Dark Elf has a point. If and when this big battle happens, between Sotrahkun and Alduin, she's going to need all the help she can get. All we need to do is find Hadvar." I suggested.

* * *

We'd left without so much as a teleport towards Solitude on Chell's whim, in a group containing myself, the Realm-Walker, Lil Ayisha, Chell and Wheatley, While Elder Ayisha stuck with the Nerevarine on High Hrothgar to work out details. I certainly hope we're doing the right thing. I kept Ayisha close to me as we walked around Solitude, in search of this Hadvar character. Petra told me he was a good lad, but I still feel a bit wary as to when Petra told me of what she and him did together. I know she would never lie to me about that but it doesn't make me feel any better just thinking. Ugh...why am I blaming him? My heart is still sinking into fact that Petra was...dead. Not gone to the Soul Cairn and not as Vampire...just dead. I held Ayisha's hand as we headed towards Castle Dour.

Once we were inside, we found General Tullius within and questioned him about Hadvar.

"Hadvar? Oh...I'm busy here trying to figure out why so many dragons are surrounding High Hrothgar." He said.

The Realm-Walker slammed her hands on the table.

"Don't work too hard. We've already scouted that. A great and terrible war is going to happen General and we need your help." She stated without delay.

We talked about the situation with the Thalmor and how they had brought the dragons to Skyrim...somehow and there as a book containing evidence that Hadvar and that apparently Elenwen stole.

"That's quite the story. Tell you what, keep it discreet for now. Once you find me that proof I'll do what I can. Even now I can't risk total collapse from within. So I'll let you in on the fact that Hadvar's been imprisoned by Elenwen herself on behalf of letting a prisoner escape the dungeons. He claimed it was for a noble cause...I'm thinking he was telling the truth. He's been taken to the Embassy.. Try and find him alive. He's a good soldier." Tullius explained.

So Petra's story was true. Hm...we spoke with one another and prepared ourselves for own little infiltration of the Thalmor Embassy.

And thankfully, we would have a plan in mind.


	98. Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf returns to the Embassy, in the hopes of gaining an edge against the Thalmor.

And again, we're finding ourselves in a tighter mess than usual. A war is a war. I never much liked the Civil War, then again, no one liked the Great War besides the Thalmor. So, naturally, everything falls into their grand design.

We'll need all the allies we can get. We can get...maybe get the Stormcloaks on board if we have to. With the Empire on the brink destruction again, this was definitely going to spark up a larger war, due to the consequences we'd face for failing were that much harder to recover from. If we ever recover at all.

The Embassy was well guarded, even more so than usual than when Petra infiltrated it last. Only this time it was, going inside to figure out more to the story and to find this supposed book. One would think that it would have been destroyed and that this was all just a complete waste of time. I'd discussed that to everyone who in turn agreed, but of course, the Realm-Walker just had to think differently.

"Petra suffered a time displacement when she was speaking with Elenwen and she had the book. I've asked around and Hadvar is still alive, but no one has talked about it or it's existence. I'd say it had to be around somewhere." The lass explained.

We were situated in the woods nearby, overlooked the enclosure. We couldn't risk too many inside just in case the book wasn't there. Only to find Hadvar and question him further.

"I recall Petra coming out of a cave that had lead to the Embassy's dungeons. Perhaps we could enter through there." I suggested.

"The Dungeons? Did you get a load of the guards that are just everywhere? What makes you think they're not going to be stationed there either?" Wheatley complained.

The Realm-Walker nodded and looked at me.

"Wheatley's right. We'd have to sneak past them, or eliminate them all with stealth tactics. I guess that wouldn't be hard for you Bryn." She said with a wink,

I gulped. Me and my big mouth. But with Wheatley being an Altmer, it gave me a few ideas myself.

"Alright I'd do it. Elf, do you think you can don a set of Thalmor robes and infiltrate the buildings pretending to be one of them?" I asked him.

His eyes widened. I keep forgetting he's a timid thing.

"Uh...well, boss? Do you think I would be able to?" He questioned.

The Realm-Walker sighed with displeasure.

"If you can get a set of their robes. Chell, help Wheatley get a set. Stay close by and I'll give you all a further set of instructions. Bryn, you're on your own here. Need any help, or if you're in danger...I'll know."

* * *

That leaves Ayisha with me. I turned to her. She looked up at me with those young kitten eyes. It was clear that she wanted to help. I trusted her and she was definitely smarter than most kids her age. But, I still held doubt.

"Papa, grown up Ayisha gave lil' Ayisha the ring back. See?" She spoke of cheerfully.

She showed me that unusual ring cast on her right middle finger. Of course! The Ring of Khajiiti, how could have I forgotten it?

"Stay close to me. We're going to be in quite the heap here. I don't want anything to happen to you...alright?" I told her.

She nodded and grinned at me. The symbol of innocence, a common sign within children. Whether I was innocent to begin with, certainly went away as soon as I joined the Thieves Guild. Perhaps moreso, as I lost myself to Petra. But experience does embed knowledge so innocence is bound to be lost at one time or another. A sacrifice often needed to survive.

My heart reaches out to her, with Ayisha being the only evidence left remaining of Petra's memory. She is like Petra in the regard where is stronger than she looks. I don't want to be suspicious of a child's motives based on an older version of herself. It would be something I would need to ask the Elder, if plausible.

"Papa doesn't have to worry about Ayisha."

We wandered around the forests to find the entrance to the cave. As predicted, there were Thalmor sprawled everywhere. If Petra was here she could probably shoot them at the back of their heads from miles away. The lass was skilled like that.

For now, we stuck to what ever shadows we could find. The sky was overcast and thundering with impending rains. I hope it wouldn't impede on what we were doing here. But Ayisha and I snuck from tree to tree, avoiding the patrols as they wandered around. We then found the entrance shortly after, with two elves stationed on either side. They had the Amulet's of Alduin around their necks. This was going to be difficult.

My ties to Nocturnal were cut, giving me the idea of using the shadows unlikely. I looked Ayisha and recalled the ring giving her the ability to turn invisible. Hm...

I instructed her to do so, while wanting to avoid the thu'um the Thalmor would use against us. Shor help the others as they went on their merry way. But as Ayisha and I hid behind the bushes nearby, I told her what to do. She gave me one big nod and faded away.

I watched closely as the Thalmor themselves were busy chatting away. Typical lazy louts. Meanwhile I could see them twitching and groaning. The young lass was busy punching or kicking them. Feisty.

They'd fallen over, with them rubbing their own behinds. Ayisha, did you just kick them?

I saw the Amulet's fly off their necks, giving me a chance to strike. I told Ayisha to quickly head inside, while I sliced their necks open with Rahkes and followed Ayisha inside.

I was inspired by the shadows again. It'd been a while since I had done anything remotely resembling my original line of work. But, this was akin to what the Dark Brotherhood would do, the killing ghost in a lightless room.

I don't take to killing others as a warrior would. I'm just a thief. And now I'm stuck in this mess without knowing where to start cleaning up first.

( _"It is not the fault of family to be blamed for mistakes that have happened in the past. It is a mess we will all have to clean up eventually"_ )

Long time no see.

( _"I'm observing events from here Brynjolf. When I saw Prolg, I wanted to slap him, but I knew that he was still needed for information. I trust he's having a great time with his overlords."_ )

Sarcasm against your religion is refreshing.

( _"I'm only learning from the only other person in this head."_ )

I shook my head. But we can blame anyone now and not get anywhere in the way of fixing. I just hope Petra's sacrifice was worth it.

( _"You saw Sotrahkun...gigantic creature. I never even saw her during my time at Fellnir. She was but a whisper amongst dragonkind, but for her to be the Mother of Dragons...there's more to this tale than you might think"_ )

You're right. Prolg said there was a shout that would allow Alduin to take her soul. If he had used it and gained her power, it would have been done by now. But there's something not right.

( _"Alduin has all this time to do so. He and the other dragons have free access to the Laaglein and the Currents. Something's still stopping him."_ )

Hm...any ideas?

 _("This is the plain of Aetherius you're speaking about. Sotrahkun guards the Maas, the original Seed. Time is a fickle master and we are all but it's slaves. Sotrahkun is told to be it's nurturer, the gardener and tenderer to the Tree of Choices. Alduin must be either waiting for the chance to strike or..."_ )

We'll find that out soon enough.

I'd worked my way down the cave with Ayisha, killing more helpless guards along the way. We made quite the team. Makes me miss Petra even more, missing out on what Ayisha was becoming.

We found a small hatch. It was locked on the other side. It took a stab from my sword to smash through the wood and work out our way up. Once I'd made enough room, I got Ayisha to check to see if the coast was clear. She nodded, heading up inside as I followed suit shortly after.

Once we were in, we head behind a wall and kept checking around. We could see prisons, which meant we must have made it to the dungeons. I heard a few clinking noises from one of them and went to investigate.

Inside the small prison I could see a man in imperial armour, a nord, with tied wrists and chained to the wall. Poor lad. I picked the lock, as Ayisha proudly kept watch for any tells.

He looked at me as I let him good. Petra said Hadvar was a Legion Soldier, so it had to be him.

"Huh...who...who are you?" He asked me wearily. He had huge bags underneath his eyes and his face was rather pale. He rubbed his wrists and almost fell to the ground as I tried to catch him.

"Aye, my name's Brynjolf. I believe we know the same lass." I told him.

He looked at me strangely.

"Uhhh...huh? I don't know what you're talking about." He said, confused.

He was delirious. Must have been starved as punishment. I tried getting him to his feet, still rather heavy.

"You saved her at Helgen." I told him, hoping to jolt his memory. His eyes widened. Good sign.

"Petra? You know Petra?" He spoke with weak shock.

I nodded. I remember this being the man she had once bedded. One I still a tinge of animosity towards.

"So you're the boyfriend she was talking about." He told me.

I chuckled. I'm glad he's heard of me.

"Well, technically her fiance." I admitted, feeling slightly guilty in doing so.

He smiled underneath his pained expression.

"Congratulations. Petra's an amazing woman." He commented.

I couldn't..I couldn't help the shame filling me out mixed with embarrassment. This man...he seemed to genuinely like her as well. But he didn't know. He does seem like a decent guy from I've been told.

"Was."

His face fell.

"What? What happened?" He asked.

I pursed my lips. The Realm-Walker said she died. But for what purpose?

"I don't...I don't know. She's just not here. But listen, but we need your help." I told him.

I put him up to speed with what had happened to so far, that's to say, and understandably, wouldn't be able to believe a single word of it. If someone had told me that someone was planning to break time and take over, visiting a dream world and the beginning of time itself...I would call that pretty crazy. We sat down as we discussed this, waiting for word from the Realm-Walker, taking him out to sit down on a chair nearby.

"You all seem to know what you're doing. I take it you're looking for the book?" He said, with the hint of sarcasm.

"Aye, that we are. Petra had told me you were supposed to have it, then Elenwen had it. Then.." I said.

Hadvar nodded, though turned confused quite quickly.

"That part, I never understood myself. Elenwen became aware of what was going on and had me imprisoned for questioning. She inflicted torture and demanded to know where the book was. So apparently, none of us have it." He said.

I rose an eyebrow. That changes things.

"Do you know where it is now?" I asked.

He rubbed his neck.

"That I don't know. I had spoken with General Tullius about the Dominion's secret plan to destroy the world. It's a story that never gets old." He said.

I smirked. Well, I'm glad he has a sense of humor.

"Petra wanted me to give it to him as proof. But otherwise it never ended up happening and next thing I know a couple of foot soldiers had me thrown in here. I never told anyone else about it."

Strange.

"Would Tullius would have saved his own ass by letting them know and deal with the problem, then to face war with them again?" I wondered.

He shrugged. I've heard many a word from both Thalmor and Imperial Soldiers through whispers, rumor and gossip, especially from Maven.

"No idea. Tullius is fiercely loyal to the Empire...unless..." He answered, then trailed off.

I looked at his face as it made one of those eureka expression. Subtle, but there.

"Unless...Gods. Elenwen knew. She must have known. She was there..."

What?

He stood back up and hit his own head. Not sure that would have been wise, given his current state. I stood up beside him.

"That day in Helgen. I was there. We all were. Myself, Petra, Jarl Ulfric, Elenwen and Tullius. When Alduin came down from the sky where it rained fire. The whole ambush itself was already suspicious, but now I know why."

I tilted my head.

"So I've been told. What's on your mind?" I queried, needing to know more.

He rubbed his eye.

"We were left in the dark about the whole execution. Presumably the whole ambush was said that Ulfric was supposedly heading south out of Skyrim on a whim, going back to Cyrodiil. The Dragonborn shows up, captured then Alduin shows up. Doesn't it make it a bit...strange and highly coincidental?" He pointed out.

To an extent, I'd say.

"Perhaps. I'd rather not think about it too much. But, Tullius...would he have known that Alduin was to arrive in Helgen that day as part of the Thalmor's and the Cult's plan?" I queried further.

"General Tullius is an ignorant and foolish as the Emperor himself..."

We looked up, seeing Elenwen standing on the balcony with a whole bunch of guards.

"But he was instrumental after all. We'd planted a trap for Ulfric thanks to Prolg's dealing with the mental daedra worshiper."

Wait...she must have been refering to Nemetona...I glared at her.

"We know what you're doing witch. This little game of yours has gone long enough." I berated. I could hear Ayisha hissing through her teeth.

Elenwen smiled.

"Good thing about Altmer is that we have the time to be patient in our dealings. Stamping out Talos heresy is not an easy job when you're working with buffoons." She stated.

"But yes, you know the truth. But you don't understand the meaning behind it all."

"So you admit it!" Hadvar grunted.

"The lot of you!"

She chuckled.

"The dragons have been useful. And our hard work has been noticed. You ally with the World-Eater and everything falls into place eventually. Alduin will take claim. People will die so that we may join our brothers and sisters in Aetherius and once more retain eternal glory. And true Gods, will regain their full power."

I had a feeling she wasn't going to let us leave with that little spiel. I readied my blade as Hadvar found his gear in a box nearby, grabbing his sword as Thalmor spilled into the dungeons.

"You ready soldier?" I asked him.

We stood back to back as the room filled with more of the black clad elves. Where in Gods name was the Realm-Walker?

I was hoping she would join us shortly, but oddly enough I don't feel...threatened. I was feeling confident, despite all the throw downs. I gripped Rahkes tightly, seeing all the eyes on us with explicit intent to kill. They were welcome to try.

Ayisha had vanished, hopefully to find out where the others were at the moment, and to get their assistance. As much as satisfying it would be to out do the kill count of my soldier associate here, the likelihood of survival would rise dramatically. Though, I had experience of their kind back in the Laaglein.

Although my heart sunk, seeing each of the elves wearing the Amulet. This was exactly what I dreaded.

( _"Summon the armour."_ )

I let the energies form around me in the black smoke, bringing forth the power of the Grand Dragon Priest. A power, attested to me, almost scaring lil' Hadvar. But he had the full beat of his heart in the game, which I was glad to see, from the creases his face and the glinting of his teeth. We would work through this together.

For Petra.

Thank you for giving us strength in unity.


	99. Tear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something lost, something gained.

 

Hadvar and I were having a blast, tearing down Thalmor left and right. However, we barely avoided their shouting. However, while there was strength in numbers, it would prove to be their downfall and Elenwen's greatest mistake.

I had used my wings as shields, surprisingly sturdy and strong for magical constructs. But it was too small an area to do any real fighting. I blocked and slashed my way through the forces, blood splattering everywhere, from every slice and cut I made. It definitely was a blood bath.

Hadvar was doing pretty well, for he wasn't one for magic himself, but proved to be a worthy combatant to fight at my side. One could tell he was definitely a nordic warrior with the ferocity written on his face and the power of his swordarm was undeniable. That to which I had never been, for I had avoided the fight and survived using trickery and street smarts. For I was risen as a nord, but I had be lead to follow the path of riches and lies. A path I enjoyed for a long time.

Elenwen had long disappeared by the time Hadvar and I were done with the forces, the dead bodies lying all around us. Shor, this was tiring. We were glad we could hold it off for so long, but where did Elenwen run off to?

I couldn't see Ayisha anywhere as we wandered around, trying to find her. We'd ran up a set of stairs, leading up to a ground floor, with greenery and fancy rich furnishings, fit for Thalmor themselves in their fop-like ways. No sign of anyone even being here. It seemed awfully suspicious.

( _"Something definitely isn't right here."_ )

"I'm trying to understand the mess that you've all made recently." Hadvar commented.

I heard a few bumps and grunts until...I saw a Thalmor soldier walking inside, prompting Hadvar to charge over and nearly slit the elf's throat as he grabbed him from behind. When the hood had fallen off, I figured from the shit-scared expression that I knew who it was.

"Woah lad, he's one of us." I told him.

"Permission to find a new set of robes?" Wheatley squeaked.

Hadvar calmly let him go, albeit glaring at the elf as he sheathed his blade.

"So, what have you found so far?" I asked him.

The Elf started patting himself down.

"Oh, yes. We've found so far from the other soldiers, that there's some kind of...portal, or tear in spacetime that Thalmor agents keep coming out of for some reason." He revealed.

I scratched my head. Great, more magical nonsense.

"So what's the Realm-Walker's take on it?" I asked, hoping to get her audience.

Next moment, Chell and the white-haired lass summoned themselves before us. Right on cue.

"My take is that it's how they're getting their impossible numbers." She explained.

Hadvar grunted.

"We really could have used your help before." He complained.

The lass smirked. Hadvar was right, but she's done this before. It is annoying, though.

"Sorry, I was really curious about this particular hole in reality. But it's given me a few theories of what is actually going on here." She stated.

Finally...some answers. Not necessarily the ones we're looking for, but it's better than nothing.

"The supposedly infinite numbers of dragons, draugr and thalmor agents may come from this. Where we had been, was the logical place where we'd seen a whole swarm of agents. But only Thalmor. I'm guessing there must be three of these gates that might explain where they're coming from."

Only one priority with them then.

"Could they be Oblivion Gates reopened?" Hadvar theorized.

The Realm-Walked shrugged and began to pace around the room.

"Can't say, but it's a possibility that we'll need to have a closer inspection on. But for now we'll need to focus on closing them. But the strangest thing is that they don't feel like gates to Oblivion. You'd be finding Daedra, not creatures already on the plains of Mundus." She conferred.

This was becoming more hectic than we'd realized. I don't know how long that would take or how long it would be until it just gets worse.

"The status of reality itself is continuing to be shifted. I'll work with some of my servants to get them to locate these Tears. If its stands to be Draugr and Dragons as well, they'll have their own. The one we'd found was beneath the front part of the Embassy. Gigantic cave network where we'd found hundreds of agents coming out. of"

I rose an eyebrow. What happened to Elenwen, anyway?

"No one thought to go in?" I questioned.

Wheatley looked at me as if I said something rather offensive.

"Are you mad mate? You don't know if you'd come out. I'm getting bad vibes from just thinking about it." He said.

Hm...he may have a point.

"So what do we do now? Has anyone located the book yet?" I pushed forward.

The Realm-Walker shook her head.

"No. But keep looking. Once you find it head straight to Tullius. I'll start the investigation into the location of these Tears, perhaps even look on the corpses around here for any clues. Chell, Wheatley, let's move."

* * *

Hadvar and I continued to look around, despite it might be the case Elenwen could have still destroyed it, but for some reason we were adamant that it still existed. Somehow. After looking the embassy over, it was like everyone had disappeared, strangely enough. I have no idea where they've all gone, but Hadvar suggested that the onslaught of Thalmor we battled were nothing more than a distraction for what ever evil plot she had planned in the midst of this chaos.

I'd also noticed that I hadn't seen Ayisha in a while. She may have still been hiding, for all I knew. We'd come into a open court in the front building where Petra had first come to infiltrate the party the first time.

( _"The essence of this place sickens me."_ )

Aye, a layer of calm blanketed across to cover tension and misbegotten evil. Well, some necessary evil but still pretty evil.

( _"The world to you is grey, boy."_ )

It is. I'll make sure to have a long and hard thought about that once this is all over.

( _"We'll see"_ )

We wandered behind the bar, finding a door to the kitchens. Inside was dark, beholding a golden glow from the fire in the corner underneath a cooking pot, the smell of salt and cheese wafted in the air. Hadvar took his blade out again.

"I have a feeling we're not alone here." He commented, focused on the room around us.

I took out Rahkes as I checked any discrepancies in the shadows. Next thing we knew, I could hear a horrible screech, as a female Khajiit flew herself at me with a dagger in her hand. I grabbed her wrist stopping her from stabbing me. She seemed pretty pissed off with me.

"Mama stop! That's Papa!"

Ayisha?

I could see the young lass come up from behind a bench and cling onto the other Khajiit's dress...presumably. Her real mother?

"Mama stop!"

Hadvar intervened by pointing his blade at her as she continued to his and snarl at me.

"Let it go, Khajiit." Hadvar said softly.

"Nice and easy."

The Khajiit glared at me as she stopped forcing herself, dropping her dagger on the floor and leaving her arms raised in the air.

"You. You are her Papa?" She asked me, crossing her arms.

I looked at Ayisha who had wide eyes and a bright expression.

"I've looked after her. So you're her real mother?" I wondered.

She coddled young Ayisha as the lass wrapped her tiny arms around her.

"Yes. I am Tsavani, cook of the Embassy. Elenwen told me to kill anyone who comes in here." She told us.

"Tell us your story. How did Ayisha end up being captured?" I queried, needing to know.

Tsavani's story was saddening, to say the least. She explained how she was forced to Skyrim on job opportunities from the Thalmor that would help provide for her family. Only, she didn't know who her daughter actually was.

She was raised by the Clan Mothers to become a Priestess of the Moons, however it came to fact that she'd been tricked into letting the Thalmor get hold of Ayisha, as according to birth-records, she had become Mane of the Khajiit, destined to lead the cat-people. Ayisha had learned a lot of the rites and rituals involved, including fervent worship of Alkosh.

( _"She studied Akatosh? Ask her more."_ )

Why?

( _"If Ayisha has ties to the worship of a God of Time, then there may be various links for her real purpose."_ )

I squatted beside her and ruffed her hair.

"Ayisha, what kinds of worship or prayer did you make for Alkosh?" I asked.

She shrugged.

"Ayisha remember Clan Mothers speaking with Elves and teaching me a prayer in Khajiiti language." She answered.

( _"What's the prayer?"_ )

"Would you mind telling me what that prayer roughly translates to?" I continued.

She nodded.

"It's...it uh...goes something like. Dragon King of Cats, The God of Time, Tear the world for me, access any time line! But it has to be in Khajiiti. Dragon language have no such prayer. Ayisha stole tongue of Dragon from Cult of Slaughter." She stated.

Hadvar leaned back.

"I think it's obvious." He said, tired of it already.

I nodded. Of course.

"You believe she was duped into making the Tears themselves?" I queried further.

Hadvar looked at her and crossed his arms.

"Don't ask me that. I'm not exactly well versed in this entire affair. Do you think we should contact the Realm-Walker?" He wondered.

I examined the ring.

"Maybe." I said. "Ayisha, did the Cult make you say this prayer a few times? It could help Realm-Walker."

She nodded.

"Ayisha knows one is near. Underneath this building. Found Mama too..."

Tsavani frowned. I knew she wouldn't like her own daughter used like that.

"Did you know what was going on?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"Nothing. I saw nothing. Only, that I'd seen Ayisha in the corner of my eye when they first brought her here, but Malborn advised me to refrain myself or else they'd kill her." She answered.

 _("I doubt that."_ )

Aye, but it's not out of the league of the Thalmor. But what is strange to me as that we'd found Ayisha originally, heading west. But we'd saved her on our way. It doesn't make sense.

( _"Unless they were finished making the Tears. I never knew any of this magic."_ )

It's fine. You didn't know. You'd be left in the dark with your 'best friend' Alduin for a long time. Don't be surprised if this sort of thing happens.

( _"She should know where the Tears are. And perhaps she may be key in closing them, cutting off Alduin's infinite forces."_ )

"Lass, do you know where the other Tears are?" I pushed on.

She rubbed her eye.

"Ayisha speak prayer...at a place with the Light of a Daedra is darkened and the door to heaven rests." She answered in a poetic way.

I looked at Hadvar. We definitely need the Realm-Walker's assistance on this. I had no idea how to summon her though. I rubbed the ring on my finger...what good that would do.

"Brynjolf to Realm-Walker, need your assistance here." I called out.

( _"Yeah that'll do."_ )

Don't mock me Zoklot.

Next thing I know I could see the lass pop out of nowhere as she stared at me.

"Goodness sake Brynjolf I haven't even properly started researching yet. What have you found?" She said, annoyed.

Impatient little witch.

"It's apparent that Ayisha was used to create the Tears. However, while we definitely know one is here, she says she knows where the others are. But not their exact locations." I told her.

She nodded, as her eyes widened with surprise.

"Wow that's quicker progress than I expected." She commented. "I had a feeling Ayisha would be a bigger part of this than originally noted. Alduin is swift with his plans isn't he? Alright, let's get you to the Shield of Aetherius, we'll need to work together to determine where they might be. If that's okay with you Ayisha?"

The young lass beamed.

"And Mama can come with?" She pleaded.

The White-haired woman looked at her, as Tsavani was a bit skeptical and unsure of it.

"I guess she can...hm...we'll need all the help we can get. Thanks." The Realm-Walker replied, begrudgingly. 

Ayisha then pulled on her mothers dress again.

"Mama! Mama! Wait, aren't you forgetting something?" She questioned, giving the precious eyes to her...endearing mother.

Tsavani nodded and pulled something out of her pocket.

"Of course. I was speaking with Elenwen in regards to dishes and that nights meal when we were at Castle Dour when I felt an odd shift in the air. Next thing I knew, Elenwen came storming past, obviously angry with somebody. I had to follow her around until she told me I had to make my own way back to the Embassy as she was looking for something. I was preparing my way back when I had noticed something strange in my pocket. This black book. I was never taught how to read but I knew it was important. It had odd drawings and symbols. Then, later on that night, I had a dream about this black book, a gift from Azurah, pleading me not to give it away. I headed the warning and kept the book. I now see why it was so important." She revealed.

The Realm-Walker and I exchanged glances. This couldn't be coincidental.

"Brilliant. This just keeps getting better and better." She commented.

We parted as the Realm-Walker had taken the Khajiit away to find out more about the Tears. Meanwhile, Hadvar and I headed towards Solitude, to bring this evidence to Tullius.

Hadvar read through the book as we walked, obvious that our trip may take a while. But this was extremely crucial for us to take our hands on, no matter the cost. We wandered down the rocky path to the city by the sea, the sky still overcast as I sensed impending destruction in the nearest future.

"This is incredibly detailed. Says it was written by Prolg himself, addressing several individuals. Ancano, Elenwen. Even some guy named Mercer." He said.

I looked at him strangely. Out of all the people...

"Mercer was involved?" I said, with surprise.

He lifted his head as he stared at me.

"I'm not familiar with this Mercer fellow. Who is he?" He asked.

More like, who was he.

"He...he was my true father." I said with heavy burden. I had to admit that's still quite tough to swallow. But in a way I was glad Prolg wasn't related to me in anyway.

"Your father? You may need to spare me the details. So I'm gathering he's dead." He assumed.

He catches on quick.

"Aye."

* * *

So many involved in one tight operation that absolutely left everyone else in the dark, including me. What else had Prolg planned? It was doing my head in. And I wanted to know where Petra was. I was going through this type of grief again, like, I didn't want to believe she was truly dead. She had to be around here somewhere, I just knew it. If she did sacrifice herself, I don't want that to be in vain.

I am not left a hollow man, but an inspired one, engrossed in a thankless and brain-breaking war of destruction. Just...pure devastation and corruption within the ranks. I could never turn back. Not now. Not ever.

"So let me ask you somethin...this Mercer fella says he's in the Thieves Guild, with Prolg's instructions to kill Gallus in order to secure funding for the Thalmor, as well as using resources to bring the Mane of the Khajiit to Skyrim. He'd been catching on to Mercer's deceptions within the Guild. I don't care that you're in Guild yourself and that you've been following daddy's footsteps. You didn't know this was going on?" He asked me.

First time I heard that.

"No. No one knew. Well, we found out what he was doing. He was following Molag Bal and became a Vampire Lord, from what Petra's told me. I've never really understood why, but allying himself with them would have easily secured enough power, since Maven Black-Briar has cosied up to them more than once." I told him.

Which was true. Maven herself purely went to secure her interests, by extension the Guilds. We'll have to maybe speak with her and warn her to watch her back at all times. The Thalmor may get to her one day. Or she may be in their clutches already. No one likes Maven for Maven, but you admire her 'charisma' and willingness to get others to do the dirty work for her.

"Does it saying anything about Tullius?" I wondered.

Hadvar flicked through the pages, trying to pin down any reference.

"Has his name here and there. Mostly about the execution. But some of this scripture is in another language. The rest of it is proof of the actions they took. Primarily the main goal was destruction, but ultimately these notes look like pastings of old documents. You think they would just shred this?" He pointed out.

The amount of times you wonder how simple paperwork can change everything.

"You think, but not everyone adheres to the obvious logic of possibly getting that book into the wrong hands." I said, knowing how many times I've framed people in that way.

He agreed.

"Oh definitely. We must have had the luck of the draw. But we should definitely have the Legion's back with this one now." He claimed. I hope we're right.

* * *

We'd reached Solitude, confident in Tullius favour once he gets the details of the book. I didn't like the idea of getting them involved but when you're dealing with huge numbers you need to get as many recruited as we can get.

We'd gone into Castle Dour and into the war room, interrupting a discussion between Tullius and his legate as he leaned on the table with a map of Skyrim with several pointers.

"We've got it sir!" Hadvar said proudly, relieved as threw the book across the table.

Tullius picked up the small book and examined it, then with a blank face, checked Hadvar.

"Good to see you're alive in one piece. Now, let's look at these...hm...disturbing. Very disturbing. Say, you're name is Brynjolf isn't it?" He asked me.

My name travels far sometimes.

"Yes that's me." I answered.

He pulled something out of his pocket, a faded folded piece of paper as he unwrapped it.

"Hadvar, you gave this to me. Said it was from the prisoner we had, what's her name."

"Petra, sir." Hadvar answered.

"Yeah yeah. It had your name in it, saying you'd come by looking for her. But it also says that if I need anyone to speak to her in regards to all I should speak with you. But the oddest thing is I don't remember the next few words being written on here. Must have missed it." He said.

I lifted my head.

"What is it?" I wondered.

Tullius squinted.

"Says here that...you must get out of here, the dragons are coming to get you." He replied.

What?

"Wait, you're saying that's...new right?" Hadvar questioned. Odd. Very odd.

"Never seen it before. But I'll send this to the Emperor himself, he'd want to see this. While I prefer not to wage war with the Dominion, if they're going to end up killing everyone anyway we don't have much of a choice. Thank you for bring this to our attention. However, this letter has implications. I took the time to get a few people to talk to me about the whole dragons clustered around the Throat of the World sort of thing. Don't know-"

"SIR IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" Called a soldier as he barged his way in.

* * *

Tullius wasn't amused.

"What is it solider?" He asked.

The man looked puffed, his face reddened and plagued by fear.

"Dragons...just...lot's of big black dragons!" He cried out.

We all went outside, seeing black spiked dragons everywhere. And I knew who exactly they resembled.

"That looks like the dragon that attacked Helgen. Except dozens of them." Hadvar commented as we all looked into the sky.

"Why are there so many?" Tullius noted, sounding exasperated. I would be the same.

"Quickly, get the citizens inside their homes, this isn't going to be pretty."

As fast as we all could manage, we'd rushed around town as we got the townspeople to get shelter as soon as possible. I flew up to the top of the castle, and observed the flock of Alduin-like dragons flying around the city.

( _"This reminds me of Fellnir."_ )

Yes. Yes it does.

_("Except these dragons...are they all Alduin? Or just ones that look like Alduin?")_

Or the ones from the Tear that Ayisha mentioned. One that summons dragons?

( _"Alduin is considered unique. One is bad enough, but when you have several World-Eaters finding a city interesting enough to burn to the ground, then there is definitely cause for concern."_ )

Then let's get this over and done with.

The dragons started to shout and incinerate everything in their way. One shouted into the sky, as it turned dark, with fire starting to rain. Just great.

The archers that were stationed on the walls started to shoot with great haste. I don't think anyone would be prepared. Not for something horrific like this. It had heated up greatly and wind picked up it's speed. Definitely not pretty.

"Zoklitinhaar." Roared Alduin as he flapped behind me.

_("Alduin...")_

"Where is Sotrahkun?" He demanded.

"What makes you think we're going to tell you that?" I told him outright, brandishing Rahkes.

"Shameful betrayal from you. Seems that the Vostahdim Lir has killed your loyalty." Alduin spoke with disappointment.

He definitely liked you Priest.

( _"Not my original intention, I've seen the worse side of the problem Alduin. You just can't let go of your fate."_ )

"Fate? I create everyones fates." Alduin declared with arrogance.

I rose an eyebrow.

"We know what you're up to, wyrm. Petra may not be here to stop you, but it doesn't mean another won't try to take her place." I stated.

He laughed...and laughed. It was so loud and deep that it rumbled through me.

"I will break...and I will remake this world. And I will find Sotrahkun. And we will end this. If you see her, tell her I enjoyed our little battle through tiid. If you find her, tell her to meet us, in the tundras of Ahrolsedovah."

( _"He means Whiterun."_ )

"Bring her. And bring a mighty force with you. I expect our numbers to be far greater. Bring these forces within a week...if Sotrahkun can hold the forces of tiid at bay to stop it from breaking further until then. We will continue to destroy everything else in the meanwhile."

* * *

The battle raged on as Alduin and his replicas flew around, sending Solitude into a bloody blaze. The guards tried to quell the flames themselves as we fought.

"Brynjolf!" The Realm-Walker cried out, flying beside me as I clashed with a few of the dragons before hand.

"This better be bloody important." I called out, frustrated.

"You have to get out of here. We've received an important message specifically for you."

She pulled me down and dragged me into one of the towers. Her face was white with shock.

"What's this message?" I asked her. "Make it quick."

She pursed her lips as she looked out there.

"This is just like at the Festival of the Divines." She muttered.

I had no idea what she was on about.

"Hey, lass...keep your head in the game. What did the message say?" I asked again.

She snapped back into it.

"Oh right. Now, there is research still being undertaken. We've figured the Kilkreath Ruins was one place they were getting Draugr from. Ironically Meridia's shrine is found there, her power possibly fueling the energies to keep the Tear open. But we're still looking for the third. But a message has come through from another realm. It's the infamous Regkosot believe it or not. The one that Petra spoke about." She revealed.

I gritted my teeth. Why now of all times?

"Sources say head to Eldergleam, South-West of Windhelm. Head there now, and you can see the damage Alduin's already done to the land."

Eldergleam? I've heard about it, but never actually visited there. Prolg mentioned it in passing.

"Alduin wants us to summon Sotrahkun around the Tundras of Whiterun." I told her.

She rubbed her chin.

"Fascinating. Alduin, you're just an overgrown Nord at heart. Right, so head to the Eldergleam, it's a small cave with a huge tree. I'm sure you'll find it."

The Realm-Walker disappeared as she went back to her business as I ran back out. I didn't want to leave this town to an undesired fate. I just couldn't do it. The entire city was aflame, but when you have dozens of dragons that practically unkillable, it's best to just get out of there. Gods Petra, you're meant to kill this wyrm...and they expect you to kill them all?

( _"There's more to play here I suspect."_ )

Even so...I'm just not sure anymore.

I ran my way through the chaos, trying to find Hadvar amongst the guards and soldiers flat out trying to take these monsters down, but the body count was just pilling up. This was a disaster.

"Hadvar!"

"Over...here..."

I could hear the mans voice...it was very faint. Oh...oh Gods no...

I rushed as I searched for him, couldn't see him.

"Brynjolf..."

I eventually found him lying in the middle of the market place, behind one of the burning stands, with a piece of the wall splattered on his chest. No no no no...

I rushed over and used all my strength to push the rock off him and sat beside him. But it was too late. His body had been crushed, blood splattered everywhere and his face stained with it. This was horrible and a fate undeserving.

"Hang on lad, we'll get you to safety!" I cried out, attempting to pick him up, he then put a hand on my shoulder.

"No...it's okay...go. You've got to find Petra. You've got to help out...the battle was lost here before it was done. He's the bringer of the end times..."

He wheezed, splattering blood everywhere. Shit...

"I'm sorry." I said, my heart growing heavy again.

I need to find a potion..and-

"No it's okay. I can see why she likes you. You're a good person. I told her that you were lucky to have her. Go. We're all thankful to have heroes like Petra and you."

He smiled weakly, before his eyelids battered as the closed.

"Rest in Sovngarde my friend..." I murmured.

...

I threw my fist to the ground.

Gods damn it.

Shit...I've lost Petra and I've lost Hadvar. Damn it, I'm not a hero. I'm a thief! That's all I am!

( _"You can't save them all Brynjolf. Look around you, this place is falling a part. Take the Realm-Walkers advice, and head to the Eldergleam."_ )

What for? I'm tired of this cryptic bullshit. It's not fair.

( _"Nothing is fair. All we can do now is prepare ourselves for the upcoming trials ahead. Tullius will bring you his army. And you need to get Sotrahkun, where ever she is."_ )

I hope this dragon bitch is worth the amount of death its caused.

( _"You don't know the half of it Bryn. You're alive and all you can do is stand up and go. But remember what Petra said...keep it in your head."_ )

Sometimes you have to do what you hate in order to survive...

(" _That's right. Everyone else is working full-tilt to get this finished. And you're sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself."_ )

I got up and stared at Hadvar's corpse. There wasn't much I could so as the flames got closer. I can understand what Petra was going through now...and only now it was hitting me, on how we were losing all these people. It's a mess. Petra, if I could hold your hand I could pretend for one moment that everything was alright.

But it's clear that it's not. And the only way to clean it, is to summon this bloody great big dragon to fight Alduin. I'm hoping that would end it.

I escaped Solitude, looking back as I flew across the province, seeing the gigantic fire consume the once proud city.

Thank you Hadvar, for saving Petra that horrible day.


	100. Shout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf learns something that for normal people, it would be nearly impossible to practice.

 

I'm in the process of the burdens Petra once had on her shoulders. Death is a difficult concept. People can just die, any day at any moment. Protest all you want as a mortal, but your day will come. It's just not something you would need to deal with in our line of work. We just let the Dark Brotherhood do their thing.

I'm normally optimistic of our chances but with the Guild gone and Nocturnal not our backs, we'll have to rely on pure skill. It isn't fair. This can be classified as the Second Dragon War if you want to put it that way. But the messages I had received, to go the Eldergleam Sanctuary were just as cryptic as everything else has. The only benefit we've had thus far is the Empire and the legion to support this war and treated it seriously.

And now even more people will die, with Hadvar being one of many unfortunate casualties already. Because of an immature dragon who couldn't get his way. To Oblivion with him, I am aiming to save this world because it is our right to live in it. And Petra, would be proud, where ever you are.

I found the Sanctuary eventually, going into the cutting into the cave and having a look around. I had wandered in, seeing greenery and waterfalls everywhere, and the grass was green and pure. Never seen anything so colourful before, as the giant trees roots extended everywhere and it's leave a light rose pink.

Only if Petra were here we could both appreciate this beauty, together. She's a soul that continues to mend and improve and this would definitely make her feel better.

I walked around, trying to find the Regkosot where ever she may be. I flew up to trunk of the tree, smelling the sweet sap aroma and thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the place.

Months ago, I wouldn't have cared as much. I cared more for my Guild than anything else. As a whole, we could admittedly find all of us selfish asshats. And it wouldn't be far from the truth. So it surprises me that not only did Petra change, but the rest of us. Inadvertently, while Petra did her best to fulfill the path that perhaps Mercer once walked upon, the others were made to question their own futures. And I had questioned my own.

I still desire to return to that life and keep doing what ever we do I suppose. I just want Petra with me, as lovers, fiances and partners for life. She had to come back. She had sworn by Mara to marry me. I just want her back.

I leaned back on the tree trunk and waited for this supposed woman to appear. Next thing I knew, was the raining feathers falling down from the cracks of the roof of the cavern, as a woman slowly approached me in white robes. Fitting.

She had a glow to her, like the she was a creature, born from the stars. Aye, definitely talking out of my ass aren't I?

I looked at as she stared at me with her glowing blue eyes her face soft. She had no expression on her face yet she was emitting warmth.

"Brynjolf." She spoke, her voice soft and calm.

"I've called you here because it is critical that we get Sotrahkun into this world."

I scratched my head. A burden I'm willing to bare at this point. I'm not letting Petra's contribution to go to waste.

"Alright...so she's not able to do that herself?" I questioned.

She lowered her head. 

"Sotrahkun is a creature of formidable power. It is said that too much power needs to be locked away. Alduin fled, like the coward he is and is marshalling his forces to go to the Maas." The Regkosot continued.

I crossed my arms. Alduin was either a coward like she said, or he was cunning.

"And I guess that's not a good thing. Okay, so what do we need to do?" I wondered.

She approached me and grabbed my hands, cradled them in her palms. In a strange way, it felt comforting.

"You hold the dragonblood of ages past, the ancient covenant that once bound Akatosh's will to prevent the forces of Oblivion from attacking. You also have the spirit of the dragon priest within you. So, I am going to teach you the Thu'um using the power already resonating within you." She explained.

What? A shout?

 _("Let her do it Brynjolf. We'll need Sotrahkun to win this. Or else..."_ )

"What if Alduin flees when she's here and he decides to go back?" I questioned.

She lifted her chin and bore her eyes into mine.

"You underestimate Sotrahkun and the pride of the dragonkind. Alduin will fight her and the armies will battle across the open tundra plains of what you call, Whiterun. We need you to summon her." She said.

This hardly made any sense to me.

"Couldn't you get a dragon to do it? Doesn't the thu'um for normal people take decades to learn?" I pointed out.

"You have visited High Hrothgar as a boy, Brynjolf. You should know the way of the voice. When your inner spirit is symbiotic with your outer actions. You have more than fulfilled that. However, I will impart a piece of Sotrahkuns powers to you. They can call her but she will not answer the call of just about anyone. You should feel honoured, since she specifically asked for you." She stated with a glint in her eyes.

I don't even think this dragon and I have even met.

( _"You have links with the Dragonborn, considered a spirit-child. She must have been watching your actions closely as she had continued to aid Petra, in her time of need."_ )

Do you really think so?

( _"Why else? Besides your dragonblood of course, would best work with this shout."_ )

If you say so.

I looked at her sternly. Didn't really want to, but if this dragon lass thinks I'm right person for the job, so be it. I nodded at her as she looked back down and closed her eyes. She started to whisper and my whole body started to feel odd.

"Bormah, dii ahmul, bormah do dovah, Rah do Tiid. Dovah Jun do Kaaz, aak mii zeim vol ful tol Sotrahkun fen ahwald ahrk vos daar kiir do Keizaal wah ofan portion do hin zii. Kaan, ofan hin kul ven ko ok ruus ahrk rot do suleyk wah mok. Sot. Rah. Kun. "

_Sot. Rah..Kun..._

I didn't understand what it translated to. Priest?

_("White God Light, so basically, White God of the Light...something like that.")_

Ah okay then. But the words seemed to bounce around in my head like mad. It was quite interesting. I understood the energies that flowed around. I was still myself of course, but you can't help but feel a bit wiser even if I didn't even learn much.

( _"Don't get cocky."_ )

Look who's talking.

When we stopped glowing, the Regkosot stared at me again with that steely expression.

"Now you understand the shout to summon Sotrahkun. Marshall the forces you can and meet Alduin there in a week. I will speak with several others." She stated.

It would give the others time to begin preparing themselves.

"At least Alduin's generous. The others need more time to find the Tears to close them, they would need to stop the forces coming through." I said.

She blinked.

"They will be fine. Ayisha was needed to open the Tears for them. She is protected by a powerful force as they close. You worry about everything else."

She disappeared quickly, leaving me alone by the tree. It's hard to say but I'm not a leader. Why do people not get the picture?

It doesn't matter now. I held within me the power to summon a goddess. How many people can make claim to that?

 _("Not many. Just make sure she doesn't screw around with you. I expect her to earnest, swift and strong. But you must already press caution. One thing wrong and you won't end up existing. Gods are...pretentious like that._ ")

Aye, that I could agree too. But for now, I had left the Eldergleam and made my towards the Throat of the World to speak with the Greybeards. If I was to get an army, we have to be prepared. And send a message to Tullius to get here ASAP.

Thankfully, Sotrahkun may be be all we need.


	101. Recruitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf uses his skills to persuade others to fight, as well as others to talk.

 

We all know the price of our sacrifices. What ideals that we've held on to for a long time, what priceless concepts that have had to be abandoned or sold to get what is needed and in the long run, for the better.

I've never been so rushed as I had left the Eldergleam Sanctuary with renewed purpose and power. I've always told myself that baring in mind what has been done so far, what I've lost and what I've gained that I've taken more of Petra's insights that she never knew she had.

That I was alive and I was grateful.

She had once told me that when ever she felt down, that there was always that small semblance to know that she still existed and perhaps there were times she was always lost in the darkness of her own fears it was because it was impossible for her to just force herself to move. She got better, her will got stronger and suddenly she could. She had to get adjusted, mentally, to figure out what was holding her back. Then there were the moments where she had lost control and was nothing but a creature filled with rage and bloodlust.

I was terrified of the fire in her eyes when she had fallen into it, it was something that no one else really saw but me, until others had sighted it for themselves and solidified my gut growing concerns. It was another Petra that I wondered, was that always there or was it born that day in Helgen? I was curious enough in her that I'd began to love her as person and wanted to protect her. She was capable, just not with enough confidence within herself. I feel she can be strong, she just needs to see that.

She is definitely strong, but not without weakness. We're all like that and we all lose battles. We'll feel sorrow and annoyed that we couldn't win, but we all come out a bit smarter especially if we survive.

It connects to the fact that all you would have is yourself, but it definitely helps with someone alongside you, to track your progress and for you to ask them if you're improving. Not only does it make you feel better, but the other person comes to appreciate you even more.

I'd like to know for myself while Petra wasn't one to continuously give compliments, I never asked.

But when I had told her I loved her, and when she loved me back, it was the greatest gift I could ever receive. And she didn't have to sacrifice anything or be anyone else. This was Petra at her most raw and fragile, holding her body with mine, skin to skin. We'd been blessed with utmost trust that she was not afraid to let me know. I know there were occasions she would have held back, but she didn't want me to worry about her. Her version of her love was to protect me. I don't need that type of protection, however I am thankful for it otherwise.

We are free to be who we are, it just takes a while to get there.

* * *

So as I had flown from where I was to the top of the Throat, I had spoken with Paarthurnax as they surrounded Prolg, chained down and constantly watching over the monster who looked at me as I landed in front of him. It wasn't the cold that sent shivers down my spine, but the look in his eyes that gave me chills.

"Ah you're back." He welcomed me. He was tattered, wounded and bloodied, spitting out blood and a mess of crimson splattered around him. He did not look remotely human anymore.

I looked up at Paarthurnax.

"He refuses to speak with us." The elder dragon noted.

I stared at him as he gave me a grin, glinting unusually sharp teeth.

"This game will end. And we will stop you." I told him outright.

He chuckled.

"Oh good, the great big battle Lord Alduin has so desired for so long!"

I rose an eyebrow. There was something that I had remembered on what Petra said. I thought back to what Petra had once told me...something Prolg said...

_"You're considered a melting pot of mystical powers from the Gods. Life from Arkay, Dragonblood from Akatosh, Beauty from Dibella, Birth from Kynareth, Hard work from Zenithar, love from Mara...divine relation to Talos himself by being a potential successor. Although that is argued from my son being, you know, able to claim the throne for himself. Stendarr was a bit a tricky case...since you know, you're a thief and in liege with Nocturnal...but I'd wager Stendarr would still support you irregardless. No...Alduin...wants to fight you. Wear this Amulet of Akatosh. For if you were the favoured child of the Dragon God of Time, he wants to fight you on equal grounds..."_

Woah...I don't remember hearing that. It was like an echo in my head. But those words were certainly Prolgs.

"Wait, so you planned this? After all the shit that you've put us through, it's because Alduin wanted a war?" I asked him.

He nodded. This was making him sick. But I've only heard what Petra explained to me, Prolg's never told me that before hand. What...what's going on?

"Lord Alduin will do what's necessary. Even with all these traitors in the midst, declaring that this is not what they truly wanted. They'll all end up dead." He said coolly.

I turned to Odahviing who'd been watching on, and could see all the dragons still hanging around the throat.

"Is this true?" I asked him.

The red dragon nodded.

"Alduin has made himself foolish and weak in the eyes of the other Dovah. By breaking tiid, he's made us all vulnerable. While we would still fall to the thu'um of the Dovahkiin, we would have been still able to heal ourselves and dominate the lands. However, we've all felt the battle between Monah and Alduin across tiid. It was Alduin who had fled the battle...when he couldn't win." He revealed.

( _"That might explain Alduin's attack on Solitude and why Sotrahkun wasn't there. It also backs up the Regkosot's confirmation that the White Dragon can't leave the realm due to her power. All we're waiting on, is for you to shout her name to summon her to Mundus."_ )

I can't believe that she even considered giving that responsibility to me.

( _"Sotrahkun considers you her chosen one. You've been blessed boy, don't waste this."_ )

I won't.

"I've met up with the Regkosot, who has given me the shout to bring Sotrahkun here. I've been told she can't leave either the Currents of Time or the Laaglein." I admitted.

Odahviing looked up at Paarthurnax and Hahnubopraan. Telling each other something without saying a word. I'd say they're just as surprised as I was.

"A shout? A thu'um to summon the Monah?" Paarthurnax spoke with confusion and awe.

Hahnubopraan looked at me. I'm not entirely custom to Dragon attitudes and their...sort of social codes. I had looked up at the lot of them. They're just just gigantic flying lizards at first glances, but they're intelligent and nearly invincible creatures capable of great and terrible powers. It was Prolg who brought me up the first time as the Greybeards taught us more about dragons and the thu'um in general. If I had cared to listen more, I would have taken it more seriously.

( _"The dovah consider Sotrahkun a goddess, as the mother who laid the first eggs for Akatosh at the beginning of time. They have seen and heard countless tales throughout time. Of course they see the world a bit differently to you and I. Paarthurnax had taught me a variety of tales when we both at Fellnir. He once admitted to feeling lost, but unsure why."_ )

"We've long since forgotten who we all were due to Alduin's machinations. Sotrahkun has let us know she has to return to us, to punish us all as children. We still stand in awe to her benevolence and triumphs." Hahnubopraan explained, as looked at the other dragons.

"Once those who nurtured tiid. We were meant for that. Instead, we were forced by our brothers tooth and claw to bring destruction. Bormah, Akatosh has tried to punish us, repeatedly with the creation of Dovahkiin throughout the millennia. We failed to listen the first time and now we all see through Alduin's deceptions that he has broken the very tenets we had sworn when we all first hatched." Odahviing spoke with melancholy.

A shot of irritation went up my spine as Prolg started heckling again. I punched him in the face to get him to shut up. I'd never get tired of doing that.

"You doubt the word of your dragon overlords?" I mocked.

He just stared me with insanity written on his face.

"Or is it simply testing faith? Dragonborn are a mockery. So, where's your girlfriend? Nothing but fodder for Alduin and Sotrahkun herself..." He taunted back.

I kicked his chin...he touched a raw nerve. Instead of cries of pain, he continued to laugh.

"So, you now have this power, gifted to you. What will you do?" Paarthurnax asked me.

I cracked my knuckles.

"We need to gather what forces we have to the tundras west of Whiterun. We've gotten the backing of the Legion and hopefully if negotiations are successful we could have some forces. But I doubt they'd even get here in time." I said.

Odahviing lowered his head.

"Hm...will there be enough? Alduin wants his war with Sotrahkun and you'll need numbers. The dovah here will fight. But the ones you call Thalmor have Amulets that will allow them to use the thu'um." He reminded me.

I crossed my arms. We were dealing with that as we speak thanks to Ayisha and the Realm-Walker. Few may have slipped out but cutting majority of them out would help.

"We're figuring that aspect out, as we have people looking into the cause and to plug up the Thalmor's numbers, then possibly the Draugr and the remaining Dragons still loyal to Alduin. Is that going to be difficult to fight them?" I wondered.

"Not at all. All Dovah are keen for a challenge. It isn't the real thu'um anyway. Their possible misuse will be their downfall." He explained.

I don't want to fight the Thalmor if I can help it, but in this case, I may not have much choice. Their numbers will dwindle quickly, though.

"My only issue that Alduin has dozens of himself fighting for him. Using a Tear to get them perhaps?" I theorized.

Hahnubopraan grumbled.

"Misuse of tiid. He could have gotten replicas from other time lines to fight for him. It wouldn't be surprising if he did go that far. But...the dovah will die for Sotrahkun." He said.

Sons fighting for the name and glory of their mother. I felt a bit sad and I don't feel sympathy for monsters.

( _"Petra's been quite the influence indeed."_ )

Aye, she has. She's taken through so much progress within herself. Accepting who she is and what she must do. I can't quite say if she's gotten over her phobia completely or if she does this without fear itself. It takes great courage and Petra shines through with that in mind.

"Alright, if you can, rally them and let them know what's going to happen. Try and get them down there within the week if you can. I'm going to speak with Jarl's Ulfric and Balgruuf to see if they're going to contribute."

* * *

I'd flown straight to the front gates of Whiterun, flying to Dragonsreach, surprising and scaring several of the townspeople. I didn't care at this point if they could see me in your gear Priest, this was more important.

( _"As it would be."_ )

The guards were a bit cautious as I entered through the huge doors and approached the Jarl as he brooded on his throne before his court, his housecarl leering at me with contempt. Balgruuf just looked on at me, waiting for me to speak.

"Brynjolf is it? How are things? Did you manage to get the Empire to back you on this?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"Aye, I did. However, I don't know how long we'll have until any forces are arrive. Alduin wants this battle within seven days." I answered.

His eyes widened.

"A week? That's not nearly long enough to make any kind of preparation! How can he think anyone could be ready?" He countered.

I nodded in agreement. A week to get all the people in Skyrim is doable, but from Cyrodiil? Against Dragons?

"Perhaps to catch us in the lower numbers. But we do have the help of the other dragons, that much has known. That's the reason why they're all floating around the Throat." I told him.

He rose an eyebrow.

"Wait, you got the dragons to cooperate and rebel against their own master? That's...quite the feat." He acknowledged.

"See Irileth, I knew there was a reason they were there. Had they been hostile, they would have tried to kill us when we went up the mountain before."

The dunmer grunted.

"I'd advised against it, and I still do. You may stand by the ideal of 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.' but my ideal is 'The enemy once friend of my enemy is subject to betrayal'." She pointed out.

Balgruuf spat.

"Bah, no matter what you say, I still stand by mine." He balked.

Irileth pouted, defeated.

"Of course, my Jarl."

He turned back to me.

"Look if you need any help at all I can lend you a hand, but I only have so many forces to spare. Where's the battle?" He asked me.

I pointed behind him.

"The tundras of your hold Jarl." I revealed.

He rubbed his forehead. I had expected him to react as such. It's not everyday that everyone wants to wage war in the sanctions of your own home.

"Fantastic. More the reason to defend my city. You could ask the Companions, but you may have to pay a hefty fee for using all of their available services." He advised.

Pfft...coin.

"Let's see...well, how about they help out and the world doesn't get destroyed...oh and all the glory that they can have." I joked, albeit I actually was telling the truth. I'd honestly would pay them later if necessary.

Balgruuf chuckled.

"Yeah they do like glory more than most. Good luck getting that through their skulls. " He noted.

I rubbed my head.

"Just try and convince them, pay them and I'll work something out afterwards. It's important that we get this done as soon as possible. I promise it will be worth while." I said.

* * *

Look at me go. It's like I'm back at the Guild looking for scraps of hope and recruiting to bolster our numbers once again. It's a bit more on the larger side this time but otherwise it's the same thing.

Problem is I want to believe that this will work, that we'll win. I understand that not everyone will survive this and there will many lives lost in the wake of the war between two godlike entities that no mortal should be a part of. Not everyone believes in the stories and you can't just tell them all the details without proof. You'd think me flying around would convince them of the magic involved, but it in fact scares them. I'd almost forgotten my kin's natural fears to magic, considering all the stigma and negative connotations associated with it. Even me who never was a huge fan of it, had some trouble getting the idea we need Nocturnal's support to defeat Mercer.

I think it takes time and patience. As thief you're not really expecting to do much and I never did. I had a bit of knowledge of it beforehand but the only reason you'd be using it, would be that you'd need it for a job when there's no real way around something that's placing you between the item and the coin you'd receive for it.

I would have never seen myself even doing this several months ago but here I am, finding out I'm a descendant of a famous emperor and a dragon priest no else had heard of.

( _"I've had worse happen to me, trust me."_ )

Don't know why but I believe you. Anyway, this isn't what Brynjolf does. He should be back at the flagon, finding clients and negotiating jobs, not flying around the province finding soldiers. Doesn't seem to fit right.

( _"It's a bit out of what you're used to."_ )

Exactly. I wonder what I did to fall out of favour on that?

( _"I'd say helping Petra out for starters."_ )

She didn't want this either. She seemed content on doing her work as well, not dealing with this crap alongside dragons and gods and daedra.

( _"They call her Doom-Driven for a reason."_ )

That's not the point. We're all in this mess and people have died because...

( _"People have died because you underestimated the determination and the ruthlessness of what the Cult and the Thalmor wanted. They're adamant of getting this done and they hardly mess around. Even when I was leading priest we lead investigations into had the various traitors and rebels and swiftly dealt with them."_ )

You're not expecting to skip rest?

( _"No. Those who have died have no idea what the other side was going to end up doing. Because they used the greater elements of surprise and magics the likes no one has ever seen. Alduin can resort to using power and trickery to get what he wants. He's always been like that. If he wants something done, he'll find a way around to it. And he'll get his subordinates to do it without question, because he was revered as the main God, our master, right or wrong. Our loyalty was bound by our oaths and perhaps our own methods weren't chained the moralities of the world. I look now and see how horrifying we were."_ )

You know what you did at Fellnir. You outright tortured people.

( _"Like what happened with Petra, you learn these things. There are always reasons for it, no matter how big or small, that can influence others, even to do the terrible things I did. I have gained guilt and regret otherwise, built from those around me and I can see how it still impacts, even after eras long gone."_ )

But do you find yourself fully reformed? I can believe people can change but part of themselves will always be there.

_("Broken hearts are hard to mend, all you need is time. But during that stage I had gone too far. I became the most powerful Dragon Priest and held my position comfortably for many years. But it then started to feel hollow and my loneliness persisted. People feared me as they did with Dragons. I had consorts but nothing like that felt real enough. I was numb before I recovered what I had lost. By then, it was too late.")_

So what do you feel now?

(" _Like I've gotten another chance to set it right again. I apologize for the pain I've put everyone through, especially you and Petra. I know I'll never earn full forgiveness for sins rendered, but every step in the right directions count._ ")

I also must admit I wasn't a fan of having someone else in my head. But it's been a good ride.

( _"Likewise"_ )

* * *

I left Whiterun shortly for Windhelm to speak with Jarl Ulfric, I suspected this was going to be a bit harder to handle, since the Empire was going to be involved. I landed outside the giant doors of the Hall of the Kings and entered into the Jarl's court, again, getting the guards attention as I approached the throne. Ulfric slouched and looked at me with his steely eyes. He wasn't a patient man, just one who loved his country too much.

"You again. That cat after you left before forced all into this ridiculous prayer that was just incredibly stupid." He commented.

Must have been the older Ayisha.

"She was only trying to help." I told him.

He sneered.

"Either way, I am not doing that again. What news do you bring?" He said.

I nodded. I was already treading on broken glass.

"Alduin wants a battle in the tundras of Whiterun within seven days. I need an army there..." I requested.

He sighed.

"Seven days huh? Dragons are so...what's the word..." He muttered as he tried to think.

"Boisterous? Demanding? Tenacacious?" Said Galmar as he stood next to his Jarl.

"No...they're more like one of those people who seemed to think things like this can be done immediately. Impatient isn't what I would use but you can say that about him."

"No concept of time management?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Something like that. How they boast on the fact that they can fly everywhere, while we mortals tread on foot, needing to give ourselves the understated time frames." He said. A lot is indeed required to ensure all forces are accounted for.

( _"I think I've found irony."_ )

So do I.

"However, I must warn you, that the legion may get involved. I've spoken with Tullius and he may be able to give us a hand. And I've just come from Jarl Balgruuf who'll send us a few but also with speak with the Companions to see if they're willing to help out." I told him, expecting a bit of an argument here.

"We don't need the Legion. We can do this on our own!" Galmar protested.

See?

"We need the numbers. We're talking about fighting multiple Alduin's. Have you not heard what happened to Solitude?" I told him, putting my game up. I knew this would take some convincing.

Ulfric rubbed his chin.

"I've had people tell me of the dragon attack there. Didn't think it was true. So Alduin sacked Solitude." He said, in dull surprise.

I nodded. He had a lot to process mentally.

"I'm guessing that Tullius would have his hands full dealing with this. Solitude may still stand at the end of the day and I haven't seen any dragons there since I'd left. Most of Solitude would be picking up the pieces.." I said.

Ulfric pouted.

"Alduin probably used it as an example, to tell us what would happen if we lost. But let me ask you, if this is a war with the Cult and the Thalmor, does this mean that the Empire will engage in another war with the Aldmeri Dominion?" He wondered.

I shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't know. Tullius has all the proof he needs to tell this to the Emperor himself that the Thalmor had planned the Dragon attack on Helgen." I continued.

His eyes widened.

"So? They did, did they? War is inevitable either way and I had tried to warn them of this many times before. Now look at the hole they have made they continue to dig deeper with no means of escape." He worded, so poetically.

I don't engage myself in politics that often. I'm more of a paperwork guy, but my opinion is on the edge of deciding whether or not the White Gold Concordat was a good idea to consolidate peace or a bad way to get ourselves killed...albeit very slowly.

"There can never be true peace between us and the Empire after they made the treaty. I can expect my truest supporters to be furious at such an allegiance." He told me.

"They're just ignorant fools who made a terrible mistake and now are paying the price for this so called peace. We'll need to focus on what can be done now for ourselves and our people." Galmar stated.

I had to think of something.

"We're all nords here at heart right? We're all under the same banner in the end. For Skyrim and her people. I've heard that there are those who have once been close, had been divided in the terms of outlawing Talos worship? You could say, that they're taking what was theirs, their rightful terms to worship Talos in all of his glory and the Empire sees that as a mistake. Unite long lost brothers and sisters still feuding with one another." I said.

Ulfric contemplated that deeply. It was true. We're still in the throes of believers within our walls, the death of sons and daughters for a cause on both sides. They could finally stop killing each other to find common ground and see that they need to work together.

( _"Saving the world tends to give them motivation to fight, or it could make others flee."_ )

"You're not seriously considering that?" Galmar asked his jarl.

Ulfric sighed.

"Galmar, he's right. This has given us an opportunity to stop the fighting altogether. Better we all die for a cause that has more meaning, than to end up at the end of a blade from our former friends. And end the paranoia and fear of persecution. Brynjolf, consider the Stormcloaks at your back."

I smiled, although Galmar wasn't too happy.

"Make sure the Legion keeps its word. We will make no hesitation to strike back if we find out this is all false."

I nodded. It's as tight as a thin string but we'll make it work.

"Noted. They understand the implications of all of this. We'll have a power greater to force us to combine and join as noble allies." I told him.

Ulfric blinked.

"What? The dragons at the Throat?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"Aye, there's that and there's also something else we'll have planned. Remember the Dragon I mentioned before, Sotrahkun?" I pointed out.

Ulfric tapped his lip.

"Hmmm...what of it?" He wondered.

I was actually a bit excited, strangely enough at the very prospect of this power. Made me feel like I was Dragonborn, imbued with the thu'um like none other. Terrified, but I've never shouted before.

(" _It hurts the throat, trust me."_ )

Thank you for your advice, Priest.

"She's going to help us. She's going to fight Alduin. You know what Arngeir said up there, on who she was and what she's capable of." I continued.

He was in a state of disbelief, but I think he was just tired of everything. I could tell it from the bags underneath his eyes.

"The mother fights her son. Yet the prophecy states the Dragonborn is the one to slay him. Petra sacrificed her life for the mother. The legend is rewritten...or we're wandering into something completely different here." Ulfric worded.

"We'll do what we can. And warn the others so they don't end up soiling themselves at the sight of dragons."

* * *

I flew back to High Hrothgar, intended to give the news to the Dragons and Greybeards about how progress was getting on. I had noticed that the sun was setting. I was exhausted but...I had to keep going. I couldn't rest now. I have to finish this.

Petra, if you're out there somewhere, I'm trying to do as best I can for this. I don't want your sacrifice to mean nothing. I want it to mean everything. I wish you could be at our side, where ever you are. I miss you so much.

I got to the monastery and found Arngeir in prayer in the middle of the room. I sat next to him, getting on my knees as I joined him.

"How's the recruiting going?" He asked me.

"Good. Empire looks like it will head into another war with the Dominion..." I told him.

Arngeir seemed concerned.

"Now that is the most blatant misuse of the word good if I ever heard it."

Context is important. But I don't normally process people for war. At least, with mass amounts of people. I'm okay with micromanaging a few, but not when you're talking about potentially a few hundred.

"Meanwhile, I have Jarl Balgruufs and Jarl Ulfrics cooperation. A bit difficult but it's better than nothing at all." I explained further.

He seemed genuinely surprised, but he then smiled.

"The Greybeards are not advocates for war. But I must admit, you have the blood of your ancestor in you, Brynjolf." He noted.

I rose an eyebrow.

"In what way?" I queried.

He lowered his head.

"Tiber Septim created the modern Empire didn't he? Now you're bringing together two great forces, Probably not exactly the same ways of course, but you do have the gift of bringing people together." He explained.

( _"I also, had the habit of bringing people together...just not for a better reason."_ )

Flattering. So I'm like my ancestor. They always say history repeats itself. Didn't think it'd be like this.

( _"He could be watching over you, you know."_ )

Like many others? Like he should have, for Petra?

( _"You both have been underneath Nocturnal's shadow like I have. In a way, Tiber got his ability from me. It really does run in the blood."_ )

She probably runs the whole show.

( _"She gives luck in many strange ways. She may not be cut off from you after all."_ )

Good because we'll need it.

"So what happened with the Nerevarine and Ayisha?" I asked Arngeir.

"They've gone elsewhere but they should be back. They said they were going to find more people to help but never mentioned who they were." He answered.

I wonder who they're looking for. Either way, the more the better.

"So now we wait or?"

"I'm sorry we cannot join you. We can keep an eye on things up here." He answered

I should have figured. Greybeards never really interfere. They can guide but not get anywhere physically. What with being old and all that.

"What should we do with Prolg? He's still up there with the dragons. He honestly deserves to die."

Arngeir looked at me with a stern face.

"It is up to you. We normally wouldn't condone violence in any case. But can you accept his death on your terms?" He questioned.

I looked at my hands. They've done more than their fair share of hurt.

"He never was my father. Just a pretender. But he has killed my mother and caused Petra and everyone else pain. He needs to die."

His face was stiff.

"If that brings you peace."

* * *

We now know what we're doing and what will happen. Unless Prolg has any other information we need, he'll need to die. But, in death itself makes it seem too easy for him. He deserves much, much worse. And now I could let him know his own failures that will be subjected on to him. I need to think of a punishment that will tear him a new one.

I went up to the top, seeing him still chained there on the ground and forever watched. Paarthurnax was there, looking down upon him as he was on the edge. One false move and he'd be sent hurtling down the mountain.

Priest...help me out here.

( _"Prolg's doings are what the Cult is capable of. He's considered a leader. His death wouldn't scatter, for they would just rally under the next person who would take them to Alduin. It's obvious he has unwavering loyalty. Irony is a great way to prove someones been wrong the entire time."_ )

I like that idea. How do you suppose we go about that?

( _"For example, leave him alive for now. Make him watch the battle unfold. If in turns that Alduin dies, it will prove that his God is not infallible."_ )

Break him down further? Alright.

I walked up to him and sat beside him. All those years, in complete fear of this man as he sat there, staring out with dull expression, awaiting the first call of war. He intended himself to enjoy it.

"It's a shame that you couldn't tell me the real reason for all that Talos nonsense years ago. Could have saved me. Could have convinced me the Cult was for good. But, you didn't. Now I've arranged for warriors on our end to defeat your master. How does that make you feel?" I asked him.

He didn't bother to face me.

"Years ago, there was peace. The Dragon Priests may have ruled with an iron fist, but there was peace. I was taught the rules of the Cult when I was young. Ordered to lead until Alduin had returned. We had details to wait. Many years the Cult waited until Alduins return." He explained.

For the first time his voice was calm. He appeared mad enough, but we were at least being civil with each other now, for the first time in years.

"I'd met your mother and I met Mercer. We knew Nocturnal was linked with Zoklotinhaars spirit. Upon his death he was supposed to go to the Evergloam. Instead, the first Dragonborn had sent him to the Soul Cairn. We retrieved him, his soul gem kept through the generations of his descendants until Nemetona. I was under orders to corrupt Mercer Frey, a Nightingale under the leadership of Gallus Desidenius, the Guildmaster of the Thieves Guild. Nemetona was the Loremaster and latest descendant of Zoklotinhaar and of course, Tiber Septim which had been kept secret for years. We appealed to Mercers greed and lust for power and introduced him to Molag Bal, who had secretly backed the Cult for many an era."

I looked at him strangely. I thought you weren't able to get souls out of the Soul Cairn like that? Unless...

"So a daedra supported the dragons returning?" I questioned.

He smirked.

"Molag liked the domination aspect and liked spitting in the eyes of Akatosh about it. It wasn't him though that convinced Alduin to remake the world. But it was Shor...also known as Lorkhan, who's work in shaping the world made him realize this place will be filled with imperfections and constant war. We're hoping that reshaping it, will give us truth and reason to live again." Prolg continued.

I rolled my eyes.

"There are plenty of reasons to live. There are good people out there who try and do the right thing. They deserve to live. This is not for you to say at all whether or not they are to be killed. It is unfair and unjust." I pointed out.

He chuckled.

"Yet you're a thief. None of that is fair and just." He called out in response.

I crossed my arms. I see the hypocrisy, but I also see business and opportunity.

"You forced my hand. That would be your fault." I told him.

It felt good to tell him that.

"My fault? Hmm...well at least I know it wasn't my fault that you were born. Didn't matter. Your mother still gave you to us. She never told me it was mine anyway, after Mercer forcibly took the key in the Sepulcher. Hm...that must have been around the same time she went weird. We hadn't been together very long. My suspicion was that he raped her and you're the result of it."

I...no...how can that be true? But...no...the story she told me...that must have been....

"How can you say that so casually? This is my mother you're talking about. Did you even love her?" I cried out, growing frustrated.

His lip twitched.

"The audacity! I loved her more than Mercer did, that's for sure. So he must have traumatized her. Must have been the reason why she refused to bed me after that incident. It's now all making sense to me." He stated.

I gritted my teeth. This was unacceptable. This is terrible. Mercer...why didn't you say anything? I admired you for years and...after I had accepted the fact that I myself had declared that you had to die, you still get to me. So this is why this continues to wrench me inside...I didn't want him dead. I don't know why he never confirmed this to me. Unless...that day in Riften where he recruited me and the other members declaring me his favourite. He must have known.

"Mercer never told you what he did?" I asked Prolg.

He shrugged.

"Why would he?" He replied. "But I had a feeling you weren't my son. But I raised you anyway. Because it was necessary to use you to get Zoklotinhaar back. But that's failed and now it's resulted Alduin taking drastic measures to get what he wants. But as for Mercer? No. If he knew, he never said anything. Probably kept it a secret. Or he didn't care."

I wanted to kill Prolg still. Yet, his state was making me pity him. Right now I couldn't afford it. 

"So, what are you going to do with me now?" He asked me, weary.

"I'd prefer you die, but that's just too easy. We're going to force you to watch the fight from here. Watch it unfold while you can't do a damned thing about it." I explained to him, my voice cold and harsh.

"Oh Brynjolf...you really are your father in terms of cruelty." He joked.

"Or maybe not...equally violent and brutish yes, but your cruel nature? Perhaps you're walking down those same steps to Oblivion boy..."

I gave him another bruise to match all the others on his twisted face.

"No more than my fake father has." I taunted.

He laughed.

"Well, yeah. It doesn't matter anywhere. I think I would enjoy watching the show."

* * *

I left him there as I had spoken to the dragons about it first, before flying off towards the tower by High Hrothgar and contemplated my plans for the week.

I could see a tiny settlement by the Western Watchtower. Possibly Balgruuf's forces. Time will tell if anyone decides to show up, especially Ulfrics forces which I hope they don't start biting each other's heads off before the fight starts.

Still, our chances for success had risen a little and it was better than nothing. I sincerely hope the sacrifices are worth it though, but given our fates if we lose, there'd be no other choice to have and whether the fear would take place, only having to deal with ordinary bandits or soldiers, or beasts and other brutes for so long that dragons were lead them to turn tail and run. I wouldn't expect any of them to be fearless...just tenacious enough to aid Sotrahkun in flight.

I felt lonely up here though. I could recall when Petra attempted to kill herself, I remember telling her to stay with me...part of me knows she isn't gone just...where ever she was she was looking down on us and giving her prayers. Or not. Either way, she would be watching.

It's a confusing situation, that I know. I honestly wanted to know what progress Ayisha and the Realm-Walker were doing. My own desires weren't summoning her, so it must have meant they were pretty busy.

"Hey Brynjolf."

I turned to see the Nerevarine and older Ayisha behind me. He wandered up to me and pattered me on the back as he held a bottle of wine in his hand. Oh Gods...

"Ayisha told him no, but he wanted to have one last drink before everything went to Oblivion." The Khajiit told me, sounding exasperated.

They both joined me as we looked over the edge. We discussed the plans for the next week and what the Realm-Walker and the others were up to. The Nerevarine explained that they had gone to the Dark Brotherhood to ask for their help. After a bit of scuffling since Ayisha knew the password inside, they managed to get them to talk and negotiate after Delvin's name was mentioned...since I knew for sure that Delvin had his ties to the Brotherhood. I turned to Ayisha as she was a bit quiet. I wondered if she knew about the Tears.

"Ayisha did not know what she was doing and never realized. But cub Ayisha is rectifying that now, then this future will be different, due to the closes." She explained.

"That's alright lass. If you didn't know. But right we need to concentrate on what's going on ahead of us. Hopefully the Realm-Walker is looking after you right now." I told her.

We spoke more on the subject, being that Ayisha remembers doing so, she did not understand the implications at the time, possibly because she was forced to. Her memory was a little fizzy on the events, to which the Nerevarine accounted to because of the Dragon Break.

We shared the wine and after that was done we went back inside High Hrothgar and went to sleep.

Then tomorrow we'll be thankfully well rested to organize the battle ahead.


	102. Battle of the Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf wastes no time in getting everything organised for the oncoming storm.

 

I had a dream that night. I dreamed that I was a young lad, consistently running away from Prolg. But the images changed. Prolg turned into Mercer. And instead of scolding me and forcing me to take lessons of Tiber Septims great battles and triumphs, he would teach me how to be a thief. He already did when I was older, but I have must been at least eight years old at the time and around fifteen when I joined the Guild originally.

If I could ask him just one question, it would be...

Why?

If he had known, was he hoping that I would follow in his footsteps? He wasn't the kindest of leaders but I'll admit he was one of the toughest. Be cruel to be kind as they would say. But for all of it to fall apart so quickly, I still feel confused about all the crap that he put us all through. Prolg had damaged him, turned him into a monster without a second thought. He'd harmed my mother and turned her insane. I can't forgive Mercer for what he had done, but I couldn't help but have the guilt churning me inside when it was I who had declared he had to die for betraying the Guild.

My guess is as good as anyone's when I wonder whether or not he was going to tell me. If he didn't know, then Prolg may have still been influencing him from the sidelines. But no one else knew, except maybe my mother. Delvin had wandered into my dream, like the uncle I never had. He would be one who could have picked up on these sorts of things a long time ago, but never said anything without getting Mercer mad.

But now I don't have time or the chance to ask him anything or anyone. I've never felt so alone here on an empty, cold bed. Aye, I had Ayisha and the Nerevarine but they're all out to play their parts in their lives as important people. I'd spoken with Arngeir about this before I'd gone to sleep, only for him to state that I would need to only worry about myself for the moment then what ever the outcome would be, that I would be free to pursue what ever I could.

Saying that, it's hard to think of what I would do. Petra's gone, the Guild's gone and I'd be stuck in a rut with a Dragon Priest stuck in my head for company. I'm surprised I hadn't gone completely mad yet. Maybe my dream was telling what my desires were. Would I end up recruiting again? Since being a thief was all I knew...would I find work elsewhere? Work at a farm? Work for Maven if she'd let me as one of her thugs. It didn't feel right either way. But I would have to make a living somehow.

It all would depend if I survive this battle though. I'm not all too keen on killing people but I honestly have no choice. They depend on me to bring the heart of ourselves in the form of this great big white dragon no one has never seen before. They'd sooner shit themselves than to understand what was going on.

You know what I did though. I went to prayer. I clasped my hands together and spoke with the Gods. I spoke with Talos, pleading for his blessing and I spoke with Akatosh to let him know I was about to take his wife into battle with us. Didn't know if he was happy with that, but I'm not dead yet so that's good.

But I asked them all to aid Ayisha as she attempted to close the Tears, including the Realm-Walker hadn't acknowledged her summons. I guess she still likes to do her own thing. What's the point of this ring if it doesn't work properly? Doesn't matter now, I needed my good rest to get myself awake for tomorrow.

* * *

Most of the week was spent gathering resources and preparing the base camp. Nothing major had happened as Alduin kept to his words. We had little time to ourselves as I found myself in the middle of small spats that would occur between the Legionnaires and Stormcloaks, as well. It felt...it felt like the normalcy of Guild life. It wasn't much different between settling disputes between Guild members. But these were regular soldiers who would prefer to beat each other senseless and kill each other if given the opportunity.

I'd half expect Dirge to come along to deal with matters if they got too quiet. But it only served to remind me of simpler times. Even if this sort of thing, organizing, plotting, meeting up with contacts was something I felt comfortable doing, it could direct me to a better life elsewhere. Or I could have the ability to recreate the Guild from scratch.

During the week I did meet up with Maven, who'd only had her words to say on the Guild's disappearance. I knew she would say that it was out fault that we got ourselves killed and a bit of her profits died as a result. That's her way as a business woman and I wouldn't expect anything less. But the most surprising thing is that she could try and get some resources, as long as I worked for her alone as soon as this was all over. I would consider it, if I didn't have other issues, but if she's willing to give me a second chance, I'd be a fool to pass it up.

But each night I spent alone. Either in one of the inns or in High Hrothgar, thinking about Petra. I'd close my eyes and she was there. She never said a word, but to be sitting on the edge of my bed, in the same white dress Sheogorath had her wear in the Shivering Isles and stroking my cheek. I'd grabbed her hand and talked about my day with her.

She'd smile, but not even a whisper escaped her beautiful lips. I would have begged her to say something, but just her presence with me, even if it wasn't real, gave me strength and warmth.

"I understand the pain you went through." I told her.

"I don't even know where you are or even if you're still alive lass. I worry about what you did...and all this for a Mother Dragon? I'm not doubting your choice. I'm doubting those who gave you that choice."

It was then her mouth opened...

"Do you trust me?" She asked.

Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?

"Lass, I...I trust you implicitly." I told her.

She then shifted and leaned herself over me as I moved back onto the grass that grew everywhere around us. I looked up to see what looked like the Eldergleam, but it was outside, rather than in a cave. The skies were of different hues and auroras of the night. And those torchbugs, those bloody torchbugs.

Her hands were on the sides of my head. I looked into the glowing sapphires, brighter than the stars in the night skies above, seeing more of a less a hint of something else behind them. Her head was so close that I wanted to kiss her.

"Then be the light in the darkness."

* * *

The day had finally came as I woke up just before sunrise, still stricken with confusion from the dream. I spoke with the dragons first before heading down the base camp near the Western Watchtower. I walked around the assortment of tents filled with Whiterun Soldiers, Stormcloaks and the odd legionnaire. I could sense the hostility and the nervousness. And their puzzled minds as they looked at me. Honestly, I hated doing this, but I'll remain vigilant for the unaware.

I found the larger tent with several well known figures standing around a table. Balgruuf, Ulfric and who appeared to be the lass I'd met in Solitude alongside Tullius. Legate Rikke I believe.

Here they were all arguing. Should have known. You call for war and unite to two enemies who just wanted to outright slit each others throats against a powerful threat.

"Am I interrupting something here?" I asked, looking at each of them.

Balgruuf acknowledged me first. Poor Jarl was stuck in the middle of it.

"They're just arguing about the best strategies to take. One wants to do one thing and the other wants to do something else. It's a damned stalemate."

"Just because we refuse to take Stormcloak hit and run tactics, doesn't make it efficient when you're fighting against dragons." Rikke noted.

Ulfric rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"We have limited resources as is. The Dragons would normally be left to the Dragonborn and we'll have support, but we're facing elves and their magics as well. If we left ourselves in the open for too long we'll get roasted by their fire."

I had to agree that the fact the Thalmor would be a considerable threat, but the forgot one important part here.

"They all have the thu'um. Remember that. I suggest those with their shields in front, to soften the blow of their shouts." I suggested.

"Such is the abuse of the Voice. I can get some Archers to rally behind them. Once a shout has been used, it takes sometime to recover. If they're smart, they won't all shout at once." Ulfric noted. Even I would believe that depending on their strategy, they made end of making more of a mess of themselves, than anything else.

Balgruuf agreed. But whether the Thalmor were smart enough, was debatable.

"He's right. It'll be likely that they will either use that strategy or not. If they do, Stendarr have mercy on us." He said.

Rikke sighed.

"I suppose I could get the sword and shield users out on the front, if Ulfric can get his archers behind them, we could hit them where it hurts. As long as they do their part of course." She suggested.

Ulfric smirked. He sure was smug when he wanted to be.

"Just make sure your men do yours and we'll be fine."

I was guessing that Ulfric wouldn't mind the Legion sacrificing their own for this, saving his group by a long shot. It's a good plan, but that's only for the ground troops.

"So, tell us Brynjolf, your plan is to summon a great dragon to fight for us. None of us know or have ever seen this dragon. Just tell us it's description so our men know which ones not to hit." He asked me.

That's easy.

"Alduin has replicas of himself spanning in the dozens, possibly hundreds if he wants to." I explained.

Balgruuf's jaw nearly dropped.

"Are you serious? How is that even possible?" He asked.

Just blame it on time manipulation and leave it at that.

"So I have seen. I've seen the damage he did to Solitude. It's in the process of being repaired as we speak but we lost many lives." Rikke admitted.

"The Legion is currently spread thin and we're still getting back up from Cyrodiil."

I crossed my arms. I knew it wouldn't be have been a quick proposition. This is why I hate politics, all talk, no action.

"We've run out of time. We'll just have to wait until back up arrives. Until then, we all have to be strong and tenacious. We all know how difficult the dragons are." I said.

Ulfric squinted in subtle fury.

"On top of the numerable Thalmor, no less. How about the Cult of Slaughter? What are their numbers?" He asked me.

I shrugged. I'd ask Zoklot...

( _"I have no idea these days. Apologies."_ )

Bah. Figures.

"I've been told that they're rather secret in their numbers." I replied.

Rikke lifted her chin. She was the epitome of a very proud nord woman. She reminded me of Petra, somewhat. Not in terms that they're on opposite sides of the spectrum, just as someone doing their job because they have to. She leads the forces for the legion and has to calm down the troops under her command to quit fighting for one moment and for once fight for a common cause.

( _"And you don't want to become Emperor."_ )

Not while there's still one in place.

( _"You and Petra have united the majority of Skyrim under one banner, a rarity given the events that I've been told about. Don't doubt the influence you have on people, especially me."_ )

I just want it to end.

( _"Like everyone else does. You know it within in you to keep fighting because you have to. Because if you don't, no one else will."_ )

So you feel this ties with my whole ancestor thing?

( _"It's not that. Most know you were close with Petra, the chosen one who had disappeared as much as made a whisper after all this."_ )

I just miss her.

( _"Then lead these men and do not disappoint Petra."_ )

* * *

After discussing the plans for the troops and how were going to approach this, a horn sounded, which meant our foes were approaching.

I could see the swarm of soldiers running from their tents, as the Jarls and Legate Rikke stood upon the fallen wall near the Western Watchtower and ushered in their warriors. I stood by them albeit nerved slightly, but I had to do this. For Skyrim.

For Petra.

Jarl Balgruuf stood before them all as they continued to squabble. He tried to calm them down with no avail, until Ulfric stepped in with fury on his face.

" **FUS**!" He shouted, quickly grabbing their attention by making them almost shit themselves. If only they knew.

"Balgruuf demands your attention, so I expect all of you to listen. Especially the Stormcloaks and the Legion."

It was interesting to see all the men and women on both sides, together in different colours and different races intermingling in such a rarity it would make Tiber Septim proud. I suspect Talos would be looking down on us...watching events unfold before them.

"Men...women, friends. We have fought ourselves to tooth and nail with each other, I know. Some of us have been on opposing sides. We hate each other. But we know what we have to do. This land, this world...are in danger. It is through our love from where we first draw breath that we are very connected to and out of loyalty that we protect it from those who seek to harm it. Today, we start our first battle with foes more powerful than anyone could imagine. They may have numbers but we have unity and inborn strength as opposed to their falsehoods and magic tricks. For we have a trick of our own. Brynjolf..."

All of a sudden, I could see dozens of eyes staring at me. Those who would die and those who draw blood for their country. Honestly didn't see this coming. I'm not one for speeches either. I'm just a thief, how could I amount to anything here than what has been written in my blood but not in my spirit? This was the duty of a dragonborn.

( _"You are Dragonborn Brynjolf."_ )

I am of the Dragonblood, Priest. I have had no experience with these sorts of things. Just look at them all, wanting to hear the words of a man they scarcely know.

( _"You have my support boy. And the dragons. Mention your birthright and I swear they will defend you to death. It is only the true nord way."_ )

I wouldn't want them to. I don't deserve...

 _("You have courage. Do not make Petra's sacrifices be in vain. This was supposed to happen, I can feel it."_ )

If you say so. I'm not happy with it, but I will have to bear those burdens for all to see. I don't want them to know, but if it brings them confidence and strength, it may tip the scales in our favour.

I might as well get this over with.

"Aye, none of you know me. I am not a leader but I am a grieving man, who, like a lot of you, have lost many to this war, started by those who have sought our deaths for many years. We've been had and I know the lot of you have desired to get back what was taken from us. Our brothers...our sisters...our Gods.

I speak before you, as Brynjolf, last remaining member of the Thieves Guild here in Skyrim...but I do not speak to as a thief, but...as a Septim."

Incoming gasps and whispers that were scattered around me as I said those words. I doubt any of them expected me to say that.

"It's true. I am the last of many breeds here...I am here to show you to show the true power of the dragonblood. That the dragons themselves are willing to help us out because they know the true price for failure. We will claim back what is ours because we have something they'll never have."

I turned to face the Throat of the World, sensing the glances of the dragons awaiting on top. I'm not gonna let the nerves get to me. Not at all. Judge all they might, I will get this done.

I looked at the leaders of the armies around us. They all nodded in tandem, allowing me to get the power we've been waiting for.

I inhaled. I've never done this before.

( _"Breath and focus."_ )

" **Sot...RAH KUN!** "

My shout echoed off the mountains, my own throat felt like it was burning from the huge surge of air and power escaping searing lips. Gods, that was painful.

It was silent for the moment, until the air itself softened, a bloom in place as feathers started to rain from the sky, puzzling most. The sun itself was shining down to the top of the Western Watchtower, a ray of light enveloping it. Out of the energies, summoning a white light out of nothing, forming a huge creature...as it stood on top of the tower in all it's glory. It was once blinding, then took the form of the dragon I had seen in the Laaglein...the one with the soft face, the glistening diamond wings, feathered mane, the four curled horns like a crown, the sapphire eyes, the tail split in four and it's size seven times larger than the average dragon. It spread it's wings and shouted fire into the air. It was like seeing Sovngarde in all it's glory as the soldiers themselves, all of them stood in awe.

"By Kynareth..." Ulfric whispered.

"She's real."

She lowered her head as she looked at me. The stare itself while the expression itself was vague, had a familiar an aura to it. But she had just commanded the audience with her sheer prescence.

" _Children of Skyrim._ " She spoke, her voice sounding firm, confident yet comforting to the ears, like it was music from a harp. But her spirit...Priest, what am I feeling?

( _"Not sure what's going there."_ )

" _I am Sotrahkun, Monah of the Dovah. History has been filled with lies and slander about my children. For it was I who laid the first clutch of Eggs for Akatosh. I did not give birth to monsters. I gave birth to protectors of your pasts, your presents and your futures. I guide the Tree of Choices as it grows from the Seed at the beginning of time. If this is destroyed, life will cease to exist._ " She explained, her tone as pleasant as raindrops.

My heart started pounding. What is this?

" _I had once feared what I could not see. But there is light on the darkness. Such is the bravery of joor, of mortal kind. My son, Alduin, fails to see. Once were blinded by failure.._ "

( _"Blinded by Failure."_ )

" _Cling on to what you can and hold it close to your heart. You have every right to live because everyone has the chance to do so if they choose to. Mortals can choose where to lead themselves during their lives because you have to do so._ "

( _"We all have choice."_ )

" _I am not just the mother of dragons, I am a wife of Akatosh. Who has allowed creation of Dovahkiin to teach dovah lessons in humility and to get them back to see who they once were. Noble creatures, corrupted by power and greed. But they are not born from an egg. They are are flesh taken from my breast and spirits made whole once again._ "

("Maybe the Vostahdim had done what he had to do.")

" _I am proud of each and everyone of you standing here today. You may never understand what you're fighting for, but I can guarantee each and every one of you will be rewarded when the day is done_."

Ulfric looked up at her. I felt no ill will or annoyance from him, but I did see respect on his persons.

"Great White Dragon, these forces are ready to fight on command...what will you have us do?" He asked her.

She stared down at him.

" _Jarl Ulfric, my son approaches with his armies of impure magics, undeath and corruption. Take your sons and daughters and lead them...I will lead those truest to the heart of course to the skies. Take wing, mortal. Take your sword arms and take back your birthright!_ "

With those words of encouragement, Ulfric barked orders, as did Legate Rikke and Balgruuf, as hundreds of soldiers marked their way west to fight the combined forces of Thalmor. Cultists and Draugr. Sotrahkun stretched her wings and roared valiantly into the air, her shouts sounding like soothing songs from a wondrous instrument. Next thing we could see the horde of dragons descending from the Throat of the World. I was in awe of the strict formations they had taken, with Paarthurnax, Odahviing and Hahnubopraan taking lead as they circled Sotrahkun, the rest flying above the soldiers heading towards the battlefield.

"Monah..." Paarthurnax spoke, sounding really happy to see her.

" _Paarthurnax, second of my first clutch. Odahviing, third of my first clutch...and Hahnubopraan, youngest of the youngest clutch. You have learned well. I am proud of all of you. Go, lead your brothers._ "

The three dragons nodded.

"Of course Monah, we are what you and Akatosh made us to be...the truth in our hearts are made strong by your presence." Odahviing noted.

They flew off, overriding the other dragons to lead them. I could see black wings in the distance, inevitably had to be Alduin and his armies. Sotrahkun turned to me. She definitely had this aura that I could not just picture or place. She was breathtakingly beautiful for a dragon.

" _Brynjolf, you have been instrumental in all of this_." She told me.

Why all the praise?

"No. It was Petra. I'm aware she had be critical in bringing you back." I admitted.

If she had to make a sacrifice, it had to be for this reason.

" _I am but the feather bearer of the eras. There is unfinished business that we will need deal with later...for now..._ "

She folded her wings and tucked them underneath her, and pushed her back up.

" _I would be honoured to have you ride with me and fly alongside as we face Alduin together. There is no one else I would rather have with me right now_."

( _"Wait..."_ )

I summoned the wings as I flew upwards, and landed on the back of this divine creation. I had so many questions to ask her. She spread her wings and floated upwards as I held on to her horns to stay put. I could always fly alongside her, but she had insisted I ride her for what ever reason. She'd chosen me would she could have picked anyone else.

"Why me?" I asked her.

She smiled.

" _Brynjolf, you have inspired others where there has been doubt and the refusal to give up, has earned my admiration._ " She told me.

Does that mean she's been watching me the entire time? I've been helping the Guild, which I wouldn't call exactly noble. Unless she's refering to Petra, who was practically her spirit-child.

"What I did for Petra was not just for love, but for common decency." I told her.

"Anyone who had the heart could put it together."

As one would with enough courage.

" _Inspiration is in your blood. Do not doubt yourself..._ "

She flew upwards and inhaled, strangely enough for another shout.

" _For we do not leave our children behind.._."

I wasn't sure what she was up to, but I went with it anyway.

" _ **Dur...NEH VIIR!**_ "

In a flash of purple energy came about the monstrous dragon of muck who looked up at Sotrahkun.

"I have heard the summons Monah! I was worried you would have forgotten about about me. Onwards to battle."

* * *

He soon joined his brothers in the sky as Sotrahkun followed behind shortly, her very shadow appearing much larger than she was, on top of her many sons that flew above the line of our soldiers, as Alduin's army came closer.

It was us verses them as Alduin brought his army nearer. The sky beyond him was almost pitch black with the amount of other Alduin's that were there, and the ground a huge mixture of black, grey and brown. They obviously had much higher numbers as the cried, grunted and taunted us as the time for battle drew closer by the moment.

Alduin, the main Alduin approached us and did nothing but sneer. Which drew deep hatred to my hear.

"Monah, so glad you could join us." Alduin mocked.

" _Alduin, your bormahu and I are not happy. We shall see if our thu'um is stronger than yours. Brynjolf feel free to swipe down any of these false sons of mine._ "

I nodded. Though her words will filled with scorn, she had used words that make it seem like...I dunno...just different.

"With pleasure." I acknowledged.

Alduin lifted his head.

"Sons? Hahaha...the role you play is so much in tune now. I will enjoy reaping your soul...let us taste flesh, blood and bone of your kin, prove who's will is as thus."

Alduin roared in the air, sending down chills through my spine. I could hear a horn sounded below me as the forces below charged at each other.

Thankfully, we should prove victorious soon enough


	103. Skuldafn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brynjolf helps close the last Tear.

 

The battle was bloody as Sotrahkun called the first shout. In came the clashing of swords, the snaps and the crackles from lightning based spells as it was Sotrahkun's armies verses Alduin's.

The normally mildly cool temperature rose dramatically as Alduin called for his storm, where fire rained down from the sky. The roof of this world turned dark of shades of red and violet glowing and churning like a whirlwind, the winds themselves had picked up in speed. I barely avoided getting hit as I swung Rahkes at the black dragons flying all around us. I am no Dragonborn, but I certainly fly around like Petra did.

This should be her war. A war she should have taken to Alduin. None of this was considered natural, as time splintered and continued to shatter. I could see and sense the cracks somehow. I don't know what's become of me who just months ago was just an ordinary thief, now some leader with all these powers he never knew he had.

I would never draw my blade on purpose, only in self defense. Now I am digging the tips hard into the necks of the monsters that continuously try to incinerate me, gushing with blood as my own heartbeat quickened, a wave of warmth overcoming me with each successful hit. I don't know if that's just excitement, devastation or something worse.

I could see the forces beneath me that used the tactics that we had previously organized, with the legions troops shielding the Stormcloak archers as they fought. From a birds eye view, we were ridiculously outnumbered. But it was a bloodbath for sure. Only if Petra was here.

One of Alduin replicas looked at me with his his glaring ruby eyes and his breath haggered. I tightened my grip on Rahkes and gritted my teeth.

"You who once called us Gods. Your betrayal has been noted. You will die like all the rest." He taunted.

"Likewise." I told him back.

He shouted fire at me as I rolled to the side, then shot forward to slice his neck. This was difficult to uphold, as Alduin was the strongest dragon, and therefore dozens of them to slay isn't something that you would normally come up against, even if you were a dragonborn.

( _"Petra would slay them all. It is her destiny to slay him. No matter how many there are."_ )

I get that, but all this. She's dead. I can't do anything.

(" _Then we keep fighting. That's what we do."_ )

Aye.

* * *

I could see Sotrahkun flying around with the Prime Alduin. I could hear him laugh but not a whisper of complaint or fury from the White Dragon. Somehow she fought him with poise and grace, not something you would find in a dragon at all. But her children, those I flew alongside, those who were dying around me, fought with great valor. Like the nords were inspired by the strength of these beasts and decided to be like them. We had to push forward and find ourselves burning and aching from head to toe. But the screaming itself wasn't anything to behold. The screams of agony from above and below were almost deafening as I continued to clash against the multitude of nigh invulnerable wyrms.

( _"Where is the Realm-Walker in all of this?"_ )

She's busy with the Ayisha in closing the Tears that keep summoning more troops.

( _"Cutting off their supply seems good and all, but numbers can be everything."_ )

We just have to be stronger.

I flew beneath the sky based chaos and it was like day changed into night. It was hectic and it was messy. I don't know what else to do.

Over the hills I could see several figures running to the fray. As I got closer, I could make it out as the Nerevarine and the Older! Ayisha with more people in red and black gear. I flew towards them. Should have known.

"Good to see you Astrid." I acknowledged.

The blonde woman smirked as she played with her dagger.

"Likewise Brynjolf. They will pay to what they've gone to the Guild. Lets go family. Sithis hungers for souls." She boasted.

Next moment I could see them charge into the full fury, with Argonian, a Dunmer, a Vampire and one of then had transformed into a werewolf and immediately tore into a thalmor and cut into him deep, splattering blood everywhere, alongside a Redguard and a Breton who were slicing and burning our enemies, respectively.

I went up the Nerevarine himself as he stood there awaiting me.

"Ties?" I asked him.

Dunmer would know hundreds of people.

"Yeah yeah. Well, you travel around get to know people. Babette hasn't changed in last few hundred years from the looks of it." He said.

That little blood sucker Delvin told me about...if I recall correctly.

"Good to see you're still one with connections. Have you heard from the Realm-Walker or Ayisha?" I asked.

Older Ayisha nodded.

"They were headed east to close the last Tear. They located it near a place called Skuldafn. They're almost done." she answered.

By Shor thank you.

"So what's the plan here then? Here it looks like Oblivion. Look at this mess!" The Nerevarine called out.

"Sotrahkun is doing what she can. But at this rate, I don't know how much longer we'll hold." I admitted.

Ayisha looked up to the black smeared sky.

"Alduin also has the shout that will be able to reap her soul. Ayisha does not know when he plans to use it. Or how."

( _"Dragons have a sense of honour not too far off from mortalkind, especially Nords. He may be testing her at first. Be wary of this. He will declare this when he chooses to. A dragons code is that who ever wins consumes the others soul. However, Alduin and Sotrahkun are considered unique spirits. Each others' souls are tied to the timestream so ordinary circumstances are unable to work. Until the other starts to fail and fade underneath the use of the thu'um, this could go on for an eternity...or until time shatters and nobody wins."_ )

"Why would Alduin think this would save everyone? Logic be damned." The Nerevarine wondered as he too, watched the events unfold above us.

"Who knows? Power gone to his head. Unless they got those Tears closed, we're gonna be in a heap more trouble." I continued.

Ayisha then pulled out a sword, a one I had seen before in it's blue gem like quality, like that made by an elf as it gave me chills-...wait.

"Is that Chillrend? Wasn't that Petras?" I asked her.

She looked at me with her stern eyes. I think it was Mercer's at one point, then Petra took it.

"Ayisha has the sword of mama in her grasp. Do not ask where it comes from, only ask where it may go. Ayisha shall slay the Thalmor, slit their throats and their hearts with swift hatred."

The Nerevarine nodded, bringing out his own blade. I could see the fire in his eyes and showing strength from the heart. I think he was actually looking forward to the fighting. I think we'll need to have a mead session when this is all over.

"We'll fight until the end. If you're concerned about progress, head east to Skuldafn. You'd be the only who can. Realm-Walker said that they've gone somewhere you can't access by foot. You're gonna need your wings for this one." He suggested.

No...I couldn't.

"Go serjo, this is critical. If you want to succeed we're going to have work smarter and not harder to survive. Don't worry about us. I have centuries of experience and Ayisha here is stronger than she looks. We'll be fine. Just get your ass there and help the poor bastards."

He marked down the location quickly on my map and hurled themselves into the slaughter, I couldn't help but feel guilty for them to allow themselves to possibly be killed. They had my faith and structure but...

Talos guide them.

* * *

I didn't want to leave Sotrahkun behind as well. I didn't want to not be there if Alduin decides to use the Shout to reap her. Priest? What should I do?

( _"You do what you must boy, Skuldafn is a large temple structure that houses one of my brothers and is the gate way to Sovngarde."_ )

What?

( _"I should have told you this before, but the Tear being at Skuldafn is no surprise. It's a nexus of energies that can be used to support a Tear. A brother in the Priesthood resides there. Nahkriin."_ )

I rubbed the ring on my finger, hoping it would bring me closer to the Realm-Walker. I had to help them. If Sotrahkun falls, then we all fall. I closed my eyes and made prayer. But...I received nothing in return. Where are you? Realm-Walker!

Instead a flash of violet came before me. It was the mute lass, her servant as she stood before me in her revered silence. Better than nobody at all.

"Lass, I need to speak with the Realm-Walker. I need to see her. Are you able to take me?" I pleaded.

The look on her face saddened. No...that's not what I wanted. Somethings happened, I just know it. Petra's given me that look before. I know it well. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Listen to me, just take me to her. I want to help."

She locked eyes with me. It never occurred to me she also had the same eyes of hurt, a soul with an unspoken history. I let go of her as she nodded.

She waved her arms about at first, as everything around me went to white.

I hope I was doing the right thing.

My vision faded back to reality, seeing ancient nord stonework and carvings around me. It was dark, the only light supported by torch flames, detailing Dragon Cult artwork, depicting crude drawings of Dragons and Dragon Priests. Even after all these years, the energies of this place still felt charged.

We're definitely not alone here.

The Mute lass took me to the Tear itself, a huge glowing blue smear on the wall where the roof had disappeared. The room was gigantic, with grass and plant life growing in between aged cracks. I could see Ayisha and the Realm-Walker on the ground in prayer with her left hand up cradling an odd red energy and her right up holding a blue energy. The Elf himself was elated that the mute girl had returned he rushed up to her, seeing that she was okay. It was then I also saw piles of draugr everywhere. Wheatley himself was exhausted, having several cuts to his face. He was more worried about her then he was of himself.

( _"Probably didn't tell anyone where she was going."_ )

"What's going on?" I asked him.

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"They're struggling here. They got the other ones closed fine after we found where they were. However, this is the largest one and Draugr kept coming in. But these are the stronger ones here. And everyone once in a while, a dragon will come out of it. It completely ignores us and heads straight out. Oh and the lil' ones mother is safe on the Shield of Aetherius being looked after. The look on her face almost killed me when we had to take her away. The Realm-Walker promised her return when it was over. But other than that...what's up on the other side?" he answered.

I nodded. Must have been tough for Tsavani.

"They're going to Whiterun Hold. Alduin's forces are duking it out with Sotrahkun's." I replied.

His eyes widened.

"Oh...oi oi...Sotrahkun's been summoned!" He called out to the Realm-Walker.

No response. The both of them still sat there on their knees, delegated in prayer.

"Poor thing. The little kitten was having a hard time with the counter-spell. I think, you have to keep saying the same thing over and over in order to build up the power of the anti-magic or something like that. Her body can only do so much. So the Realm-Walker offered to help out. Chell and I fight off what comes through."

 _("Ask him if there's been any Dragon Priests around."_ )

"Any encounters with Dragon Priests?" I asked him.

He and Chell exchanged glances.

"No. No we haven't. Why is there one around?" He said.

There was a huge crack of lightning that hit Wheatley and sent him flying. I heard Chell gasp as she ran towards to help him. He was wounded yet again as the smell of seared flesh hit my nostrils. She sat him up. He was still alive, albeit a bit woozy.

( _"He's here"_ )

I turned to see a figure clad in Dragon Priest robes, floating there and holding an odd staff in his hand. He had a blue aura around him and despite wearing a mask, I could sense the anger and hate radiating off him, despite his scaly, wrinkled grey skin suggesting otherwise.

" _Zoklotinhaar. fahvos kent hi reid voth daar ko vohrend? Nust lost nid zaak do lein tol fen kos orkiin dahik do Drog Alduin?_ "

( _"Nahkriin cannot be convinced otherwise. Like all priests, they are the most faithful to Alduin's cause. You must kill him. He sees me as a traitor, like all the rest."_ )

That much is noted. I was hoping you'd say that.

I summoned the mask and gripped Rahkes even tighter.

( _"However his staff is important. Make sure that is left intact."_ )

I'm not doubting you on that Priest, just may get a bit hard to do while he's just about to fire a spell at me.

( _"Just do what you do best and try not to get us killed"_ )

This is my body first. Just because a bit of your blood is in me does not make it yours.

( _"I don't think you'd want to die, that's all. No need to get on the defensive."_ )

I turned to Wheatley and Chell, whom the former had recovered quickly from the blast.

"Hey, you two keep on eye on those two. I'll worry about this joker here." I told him.

Chell helped Wheatley off the ground as they nodded. He took a potion and soon after he was okay. He took a deep breath and cast a shield around them all. Not bad.

Nahkriin made the first move as I rolled out of the way. I have no real offensive spells of my own, but I will make do. I kept my distance at first as he continued to fire his spark attacks at me, dodging and evading, just like what came to me normally.

He kept chanting at me in dragon language which became a bit hectic. He also threw a few shouts at me. Hey, Priest, know any shouts of your own that can assist me?

( _"Not sure you'll be able to do them, boy. You'll need me to have full possession."_ )

Oh for Shor's sake that's plenty helpful.

( _"I'm not blind to sarcasm. I promise I'll give it back."_ )

I watched from the back of my mind as Zoklotinhaar took control. I could see through my own eyes but had no control. This was a bit stranger than not seeing anything at all.

( _"Better yet to allow me to use my full power."_ )

" _Hin laas los dii."_

( _"You are but weak to me, underling. **Olm Viing Vey!"**_ )

From where I was in the void of my mind, I could see a cluster of black feathers fall from above, and the world itself turn dark.

I could hear cries but I could not see anything, but long, thin yellow strips sent hurtling forwards at a rapid rate and coming from everywhere, diagonally, straight, horizontal, vertical accompanied by what sounded like wings flapping.

Zoklot took hold of Rahkes and calming walked through the dark chaos, the sound of crows and ravens cawing around us. I sensed Zoklot's amusement of a shout I'd never even seen or heard of before. For some reason, this does not look like something a dragon would develop...

( _"The Dovah cared less for those under their employ, let alone the beasts and creatures our people once revered. No. This Armour itself, the armour at the mask are both empowered by both dragons and shadow magics from a realm of Oblivion. No one seemed to mind as much. They all feared me the same."_ )

Shadow magics? You mean Nocturnal?

( _"Indeed. This mask is called Vulonaas, meaning Nocturnal, I had it dedicated to her, to never forget my duties for her. I created a Shout for homage, to allow the shadows to overwhelm my enemies. I had tried to fight the Vostahdim with this, except he was far more powerful with the thu'um than I and did not fall to the darkness as easy as my foes once did."_ )

You really loved her then.

( _"Yes. Nocturnal still guides us, despite what's happened. My soul is forever hers, but for now, it shall remain with you until journey's end."_ )

Aye!

The way that he had fought with Nahkriin was something to behold indeed. Despite my vision darkened, Zoklotinhaar found him amongst the murder of crows and grabbed him by his armour. I watched the light pour down from above, seeing him wince and cry out underneath the pain of a thousand cuts to his mangled body. Zoklot then used Rahkes to slit his throat...then dust particles roamed the air with the gusts of wind enveloped us. Zoklot let go of the armour and let everything else fall to the ground. Pitiful.

"Rest easy Nahkriin. May your soul find peace and enlightment elsewhere." Zoklot spoke.

Light returned to the large room. It had gone quiet, except for the whispers from Ayisha. Zoklotinhaar allowed me my own body back as I felt a sudden shift and chill run down my spine.

( _"Get the mask and the staff. You're going to need it."_ )

I nodded as I grabbed them both and ran towards the others.

( _"You'll need the staff and mask to seal the gate. The power of the staff can open and close portals, like the one to Sovngarde. Nahkriin held this for years to allow Alduin free access anywhere he wanted."_ )

That explains how he could have gotten to the Laaglein with such ease.

( _"Exactly."_ )

"That was one...odd fight." Wheatley commented.

I agreed.

"Right now we need to use the staff to close the Tear. While Ayisha's rites may have opened the previous ones, I feel this one made need a bit more oomph in terms of how we can close it." I suggested.

Wheatley bit his lip.

"I had a feeling. This Tear is much larger than the other two. I'm betting this one had more abuse. What's with the mask, I'm getting really strange vibes from it...like the enchantments are meant to bolster ones abilties." He said.

I rose an eyebrow as I looked at the ebony construct.

"You can tell?" I queried.

He chuckled and made a devilish smirk.

"I happen to be an expert on enchantments myself, able to distinguish what has what. Like your sword...the same one that sent Petra to the Soul Cairn. Has the Soul Trap enchantment. Gives me shivers when I still think about it." He claimed.

( _"It's obvious, but I'd rather not. It is something I'd like to forget."_ )

Me too. But it's not gonna help us now by dwelling in regret.

( _"You're right. I'm sorry."_ )

"I'd also like to study that armour as well. Brilliant enchantment. Hint of the shadows within and those wings are glorious...I sincerely doubt that's an aedric ability." He continued in awe.

( _"He is insightful isn't he?"_ )

I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe another time. We've got important things to do." I told him, getting slighltly impatient.

His eyes widened in realization.

"Oh...terribly sorry mate. Now, so, that staff. Okay. Um...let's see. We'll need either the Realm-Walker or Ayisha to wield it and perhaps the mask to aid them." He said.

Chell then tapped his shoulder as their facial and body expressions changed. Like they just had a quick conversation without needing to move their lips. That's interesting.

"Chell here reckons I should put it on Ayisha to which I heartly agree. Just magical judgement I'm afraid." Wheatley explained.

What ever got the job done.

"Like you said, you're the expert. Just don't do anything stupid." I told him.

He pouted.

"Hey, I never..um...scratch that." He said, offended.

I facepalmed.

"Just do it already lad. We don't have all day."

He nodded firmly.

"Yes yes...on it!"

He snatched the items off me and hurried around to Ayisha and squated before her. I watched on, observing as he spoke with her carefully, trying not to disturb her too much. He then assured her that it was going to be okay, as he placed the mask on her and asked her not to be afraid of the dark. She even called him Uncle, which was adorable. Why am I using that word?

Wheatley stood back up and dusted his hands.

"Right, so, she's all set. Let's hope this works."

Ayisha stood up from where she was, as the Realm-Walker stayed put, weirdly enough. The staff was way too big for her to handle and the mask looked quite heavy on her. She started her chanting again as she pointed the staff towards the Tear.

She started to glow, with energies swirling around her and connecting with the tear itself. It pained me to see her struggle. No child should be put through this. Not a single one. But the energies themselves were exceedingly strong as the entire room started to quake underneath the sheer power of it. Shor, what is this?

It was a brilliant shine that lit everything up as it was almost blinding. Come on lil' lass, you can do it.

A shockwave knocked us all over. I gained ground as I forced myself back up. I couldn't see the Tear in the wall anywhere.

It worked.

By the Gods...it worked.

Wheatley helped Chell off the ground as they clapped and cheered. I helped Ayisha up off the ground, taking the staff and the mask away from her. She hugged me, and cried as she wrapped her tiny arms around me. I've never felt this warm in a while. I picked her up as she rubbed her nose with mine. A Khajiit gesture, I'm sure.

"Mama would be proud." I told her.

She giggled and blushed.

"Both real Mama and Mama Petra?" She asked me.

I nodded.

"Of course."

It must have been hard for Ayisha to do so. But she's a strong lass and capable as she has helped me many times before. She'll definitely grow into a strong woman, if all that I've seen so far is accurate enough. Perhaps things are looking up after all.

"Oi...Realm-Walker, wake up...love, you there? Speak with me? Oh Gods she's not breathing!" I heard Wheatley cry out.

I put Ayisha down as I could see the Realm-Walker collapsed on the ground, eyes closed. Wheatley rolled her over.

"Hey! Hey! Diga! Diga Arch-Fire! You know Doug is not gonna be happy...when he...gahhhh why did't I see this before?"

Ayisha ran to the Realm-Walker, brushing her hair out of her face. It was deathly pale and lifeless. It was then, like daggers had been driven into my stomach.

"What is it? What's wrong with her?" I asked. Wheatley looked in denial as he started to stress out. Chell sat before her and laid on her flat on the ground. The Elf pinched the roof of his nose. Never seen him so stressed before.

"Ayisha is considerably spiritedly and knowledgeably for a Khajiit cub and Diga...the Realm-Walker said she's too young. While powerful, Ayisha's magicka reserves are far too low due to her age. She's able to cast several spells before exhausting them completely. She must have given her all of hers."

I rose an eyebrow. I then found something strange in her chest. It was like the Amulet that I had given Petra when I proposed. But it was mended, repaired somehow. As I touched it, it reacted with a slight glow. It dissipated as I dropped it.

"Where did she get that from?" I asked Wheatley.

He shrugged as he bit his finger nails. He was rather fidgety when handling situations he wasn't prepared for.

"Uh...Sotrahkun gave it to her. Said...oh...YOU REALLY ARE A MORON! UGH!" He clambered, hitting his forehead with his fist. Another dagger, this time to the heart.

I stood back up and looked at him sternly. I needed him to focus on this.

"Sotrahkun gave it to the Realm-Walker...then what?"

He gulped, then rubbed his neck.

"She wanted us to give it to you when the Tears were fixed. Said that you needed to use it to defeat Alduin."

( _"I'm not quite sure..."_ )

Chell gently took the necklace off her neck and handed it to me. It was glowing in my palm again. It looked like something of extraordinary power. But I have no idea what it's for.

"I don't know what we'll do. But we might take her back to the Shield."

I grasped the amulet in my hand. It better be worth it. I'm tired of all the death this was causing.

"I'll make sure that her sacrifice doesn't go to waste. We've lost a lot like that lately." I told him.

He nodded.

"If it helps. Her name is Diga Arch-Fire. The Shield of Aetherius is a boat that...well, flies in between realms. Diga liked Petra not only because she was a case she wanted to study, but they definitely had common ground." He revealed.

I eyed him weirdly.

"Common ground such as?" I wondered.

He bit his lip. He was reluctant to tell me.

"She was Dragonborn as well. From our world. Our Skyrim. I'm sorry we don't have time to tell you the whole story and she'll probably hate me for telling you about it but I can let you know she had gone down that same road. That same road Petra went down in finding herself. Mind you Diga herself was quite...vicious and sometimes quite insane when it came to Dragons and killing them." Wheatley explained further.

( _"That's...uhh...something different."_ )

Aye it is. Though there were a few signs, I never took much notice of it.

"So who was this Doug that you were speaking of?" I asked, out of curiosity.

He chuckled weakly.

"Doug's a good friend of mine. Also Diga's husband. Insecure thing. Went through hell lemme tell you. But! When all was said and done, at the end of the day, they were pretty happy. Which I think, the relationship that you and Petra had, she considered special and similar to hers and Dougs."

I nodded. Never knew she had much...depth. And in the end. She too, was mortal. But now that was two Dragonborn gone...I think.

"But one things for sure, she wouldn't go like that without some sort of plan. We'll keep watch over her body and see if they're any changes. The ring won't call her of course. But it will alert the Shield of any disturbances. Chell and I will be there if you need any further assistance."

I'm riddled with guilt for no reason. But I'm guessing Diga had to do what she did. Even if we didn't know what she was aiming for in the end. And I still don't know.

"Lad, take Ayisha with you. I'm going to head back to the battle to see how things are and what this amulet is supposed to entail. What's your take on it?" I wondered.

He looked at closely, as his eyes widened.

"Out of all the artifacts and ancient weapons that I've seen this is very similar to your armour, except it's loaded with exorbitant amount of aedric power. None like which I had ever seen. This is special, definitely, definitely special. I'll advise you to keep it close with at all times. And...what ever happens if you get to use it. You'll just have to wait and see..."

* * *

We'd said our farewells, although my own heart carries more burdens than it could possibly bare. I'll carry on for the fallen if that's what I must do.

I hugged Ayisha and promised to see her again. I didn't want to leave her like this, but the battle in the centre called to me. If this was going to help us win, this strange amulet that I had put around my neck, then I was willing to give it a try.

Wheatley wished me luck as Chell summoned me back to the slaughter-fest.

Thank you Diga.


	104. Kyne's Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When matters couldn't get any weirder...

 

It won't be long now. I'm not actually sure what will happen, but if Alduin manages to let loose that shout of his, we're all done for. Far too many have died already and such deaths will prove pointless if Alduin gets his way. We're all going to pay for it in the end.

I hold this, this necklace in my hand. I have seen it before, but it's power, like Wheatley had said, was extraordinary. It just glows with my touch, like I was meant to have it. Priest, have you seen anything like it?

( _"Not really. But like you, the vibes are strong, undeniable. Why Sheogorath entrusted that to you, then to Petra, then to the Realm-Walker then back to you is beyond me."_ )

I'd teleported back to the great battle of time, where the battle itself only got bloodier. Our troops were outrageously more outnumbered than before. I could see a group of warriors with their swords and their axes slaying foes with great valor and strength. That had to be the Companions for sure, as I flew above bloodbath below me. And the battles above. I had already seen dragons burning up upon falling to the ground, their souls dissipating like Petra had done many times before. This wasn't working and we were clearly losing.

This gem. Sotrahkun. What are we to do? Are the Gods in our favour? If so why are we so weak?

( _"Alduin is just that powerful I'm afraid. There's the strong and the stronger, then it just's those who wield greatness and those who can just overwhelm without even trying."_ )

That's a fountain of joy isn't it? I'm not even supposed to be here.

( _"Like it or not, that's just how it works. If they had meant the Dragonborn to slay Alduin, then it would be so."_ )

But that doesn't make any sense! Now we have two dead dragonborn and dead bodies everywhere. This is more than I can handle.

( _"Sotrahkun would have to know what she is doing. Observe and know what you need to do. If she needs help..."_ )

But she's busy fighting with our Alduin, what makes you think I'll go right up and there have a bit of a chat with her? Say, hey lass, what's going on? Need a hand?

( _"Probably not in those words but in a sense. Listen, I'm not big on belief like you are, but I feel that I can show you that you have a destiny yourself, you just don't know about it."_ )

What? Like being Emperor of Tamriel? Bah.

( _"It's not like that. You wouldn't be here if you were. There's a reason these things happen. They're planned but you're not involved with the scheme of things until the last minute. Why they make it like that I don't know, it's like what happened with me. A soul lost in the body of his descendant. Not exactly foretold but I know why I am here."_ )

Other than making me look like a complete nutcase?

( _"There's a fight inside your heart that leads you here. Why it leads its all here. As nords we are a proud race. You also have the power of the dunmer in your blood, granted by your ancestry with Barenziah and her children. Prolg showed me the records and the whole family has history with Nocturnal and that's fact. Petra's even had history with Sheogorath and she doesn't even know it. Maybe it is your destiny to be Emperor? Or just a good leader?"_ )

There has to be a reason for it.

( _"You want to help, there's nothing wrong with that. There is cause for you and I too, have the very doubt that creates skepticism. We lay in the shadows where we belong, while those who deserve to be heroes stand in the spotlight. For you to help others is to help them see who they are as people and what they can be. Not necessarily a leader, but a paragon. A paragon of hope to see another day.")_

I'm not quite understanding what you mean.

( _"Petra held on to your words, I know that's a fact. A lot of people did. They kept the faith long enough. Even Sotrahkun has faith in you and is holding on, waiting for something to happen."_ )

_But you have to promise to pull through and when the time comes, you'll know what to do..._

Those words...I remember that voice talking to me. I'd ran away from Prolg after one of my lessons, I'd caught up with a member of the Guild. I can scarcely remember her...I was only a young lad. She was beautiful though.

( _"Did she tell you her name?"_ )

No. She did tell me about the Guild though. Sort of gave me inspiration to join it.

( _"I see. Did you ever meet her again?"_ )

Nope. At the time she did say...the Guild...had gone to the Gods. Oh...oh...

( _"What is it?"_ )

I don't know if that was a metaphor, but...I should have taken that...ugh...my head hurts.

( _"Tell me boy, I may understand."_ )

She gave me my Amulet of Articulation. Brought me many years of bartering once I joined. I keep it with me, alongside my assortment of trinkets.

( _"Sentiment?"_ )

Maybe. But...hmm... I may ask Ayisha if I can find her on what this thing is.

( _"Good idea. Young Ayisha didn't seem to have a clue."_ )

* * *

I flew around the fields looking for a familiar white haired khajiit mage. The battles were getting weary but it at least we cut them off from their reinforcements. Even so, there were so many and our men and women were still being taken left and right and too many dragons flying in the sky. My heart jumped as I saw an Alduin dragon take a huge chunk of flesh from Paarthurnax's neck, killing the elder dragon. I heard the roars of agony, as I felt nothing but dread as his soul burned away and disappeared, his body turning into a skeleton and falling to the ground.

No...Petra would never allow that to happen. I'm beginning to feel quite pissed off about this. She liked that dragon, the first one she allowed close to her. But my rage was overwhelming my sorrow. I can't allow it to stop me.

I eventually found Ayisha with the Nerevarine as they continued to fight off a whole bunch of Draugr. Both of them smiled as I joined the combat alongside them.

"Come to join us serjo?" The Dunmer asked me as he sliced the legs of a draugr deathlord.

"I need to ask Ayisha a question..." I stated, thrusting my blade into the chest of a hulking draugr and took him down with a spinning slice move.

"Ask away Papa." Ayisha responded, searing several draugr with fire magics.

"What is this thing I have here. This necklace. You know the one Sheogorath gave me? It's been repaired. But I don't know what to do with it." I asked her.

She nodded, twirling around and casting a ward to shield herself from an Unrelenting force shout.

"That? Oh Mama said that was the Amulet of Kings."

I blinked.

"Amulet of Kings?" I asked, splitting an arrow aimed at me in two.

"That to which has been brought down the generations of Septims for many years. Lost when Martin Septim gave his life during the Oblivion Crisis." The Nerevarine stated, as he ran on top of several of their heads, and knocked their skulls off as he hopped around.

No...it can't be.

"What do I do with it?" I asked them, avoiding a swipe and cutting a draugr clean in two.

"Look within your heart Papa, you who are Talos's last descendant. Papa is the only one who can use it." She revealed.

No...I don't know what to do.

( _"Go up to Sotrahkun. Just do it."_ )

But...

( _"GO!"_ )

I nodded, wordlessly thanking the Dunmer and the Khajiit who kept up the fight alongside each other. I prayed for their wellbeing, as I reluctantly flew back up into the air. Thank you both...

* * *

I avoided and dodged the many air-borne battles in the sky, as I weaved my way through to Sotrahkun. I could see them still fighting alongside each other. I could also see Odahviing in the distance get taken down by three Alduin as they tore his body apart and consumed him like nothing more than a piece of meat. No...no no...this wasn't happening. His screeches of pain were almost deafening. And it was driving me mad.

( _"Brynjolf..."_ )

I know, I know. I'll be fine. Just let me get up there...Ugh...

I'm being inundated by at least five Alduin. Oh by Shor's sake, let me go. I was forced to fight them as I was unable to escape the wing-forged cage they made for me. It was...getting dark as they all snarled, their teeth glinting and their eyes filled with bloodlust. Not unlike what Petra gave me once.

( _"You can use the darkness Brynjolf. Use the power of Nocturnal. You can do it."_ )

I inhaled. I really didn't like shouting as much...I don't know how the Greybeards put up with the aching throats.

" **OLM VIING VEY!** "

I could feel the shadows surround me and the sounds of crows and ravens and the inevitable blades of yellow that struck at the best. It did not kill them, but it was the power that allowed me to escape the scaly tomb. Out of the darkness I shot through, spearing higher and higher towards the clouds.

Sotrahkun and Alduin forever used the voice alongside their teeth and claws. The battle looked like it could go for an eternity. Which we did not have...

"Sotrahkun"! I roared, though I had to rub my throat from the previous shout.

The White Dragon looked at me briefly, as I held the Amulet in my hand. She nodded in acknowledgement, then glared at Alduin.

" _This is proof that your plan has failed! Meyye_!" Sotrahkun taunted.

Alduin growled.

"You will not win that easily...BROTHERS!"

Several Alduin popped out from the clouds. Sotrahkun squinted and flew towards me.

" _Brynjolf, good to see you. Get on my back and prepare yourself, it's going to be a cold._ " She informed me.

I wasn't sure what she was implying, but I obliged as I flew over and sat on her back. She faced downwards.

" _HAHNUBOPRAAN! DURNEHVIIR! GET UP HERE. I NEED TO FIGHT PRIME ALDUIN ALONE!_ "

Two more dragons popped out from the storm clouds, the Amethyst Dragon and the undead Dragon as they bit into the necks of the other Alduin replicas. A distraction.

" _Let's go._ "

Sotrahkun swerved as she flew and charged upwards higher and higher into the atmosphere. Now, I'm a nord and we're naturally resistant to the cold. To us, as we ascended higher and higher, it almost became unbearable.

" _Hold on tight._ "

The speed at which she was flying quickened, as I was forced to mask myself to shield my face from the blistering winds. Priest, have you any idea what's she planning?

( _"No. I'm curious as to why she is taking to the borders of Mundus though, No mortal has gone into Kyne's higher planes before."_ )

* * *

I was starting to lose breath as I saw stars, like those in the night sky and beautiful, beautiful colourful skies..I've seen them in books, but I've never seen them for real. Like something out of a dream...

( _"On stars, older than bones..."_ )

"Sotrahkun, where are you taking us?" I asked her.

She turned to me.

" _We must enact the ritual._ " She told me.

I raised an eyebrow. Another one? How many do we do to do?

"A ritual?" I queried.

She chuckled. For some reason her chuckle had a sense of similarity to one I had heard before.

" _A ritual. Here is a place where no mortal can go, or reach unless they have a protection of a dov...outside the skies of Nirn, where Kyne first used the shout to breath life for the land of men. They call it, Kyne's Tears._ "

I was feeling light headed as we could see a floating piece of land. Wait, how was this possible?

" _You see it yes?_ " She asked me.

I nodded.

"Aye that I do. I thought I had seen many outlandish things. Now I am wrong." I admitted.

She smirked. We got closer to it as she started to fly around it.

" _Vul gram lahvraan ko lok avok. Kaan luvmah fah jiik ahst brii do lein. Luv faadus golt ahrk veyr naram. revak gol genun osley do ek luv._ "

( _"Rough translation... Dark clouds gather in the sky above. Kyne weeps for joy at the beauty of the world. Tears warm the ground and blossoms grow. The sacred stone reveals the flowers of her tears."_ )

I really don't think I should be here.

(" _Why not, Sotrahkun is bringing you all this way. You'd be dead if you weren't."_ )

Good point.

It was just like a piece of the earth was picked up and left hanging in the skies, with several stones with inscriptions and oddly enough, a shrine to Kynareth. She landed us down on cracked stonework that looked like it had seen many eras. I got off her back as I looked at the shrine. Then I could see the other stones that were more akin to the shrines of the other divines. Including Talos, which didn't look as old as the rest.

"So does the ritual involve..." I started then trailed off.

She examined the Akatosh stone and tilted her head.

" _Dovah built this place. Each had their own God to worship, just like mortals do. A lot were inspired by the divines. While it may seem strange to you, but many dovah who had lost faith during the Dragon Wars fled here. The Gods were different then. Kyne built this as a place of escape and tuned it to the Time Wound back on the Throat. As we are directly above it._ "

I could see the stars around me, as I looked over the edge, I could see Tamriel and Nirn below me. This was definitely a sight one would never see as a mortal. I bet those below would be envious of me right now. I...I only wish Petra were here to see it. I looked up and turned to one of the stones. I went to the Shrine of Mara and plucked out the Amulet. I stared at for the moment before placing it beside it.

Sotrahkun was watching me the entire time and I didn't say a word. Next up, I had placed the Amulet of Talos I had been holding all my life and put it next to his. I did the same with Akatosh. Sadly I did not have the others. Only for those who had the larger influences of my life so far.

" _You who declares himself not to be religious and no priest finds himself in need of their charity_." Sotrahkun said, her voice soothing.

I looked up the gigantic dragon of the feather.

"Aye, I'll admit the shame of needing a bit of their comfort after what I've been through." I told her.

She bowed her head.

" _There are those with faith, then there are those with no faith. There are those who lose and find it and those who never knew they had it. This goes to mortals and all species a like. A sentient being as the right to choose for themselves and what to choose what to believe in._ "

I grasped my Amulet of Articulation, the one the lass had given me all those years ago. This had faith to her, where I swore I had nothing to believe in. Where Talos was more a chore to tend to and everything else was just pure shite.

I turned to her.

"So what if you don't have it with a God? Does it matter?" I questioned.

She shook her head.

" _I would encourage what ever you feel is necessary to your current ideals. Those that represent your spirit. Should you feel so strongly about it, you can preach it. Just don't be overzealous in those pursuits. No likes people's beliefs being forced upon them. You can teach but at the end of the day, you're going to have accept not everyone has the same beliefs. And that's okay_."

Somehow, I found that amusing.

( _"She seems to understand a lot. I guess that what you get when you constantly guard the Beginning of time. Or that's what I'm trying to guess."_ )

"Do you have anything or anyone that you believe in?" I wondered. Stupid question. But...I really wanted to know.

She smiled. It was a warm smile that sent on jolts through me.

" _I am a sentient and am subject to rational and irrational thoughts and feelings. When you deal with the amount I do, it can get difficult._ "

Understandable.

"I wouldn't have imagined that." I told her. Seriously, I would have thought she would have at least known what she was doing was going to work.

" _We are born...all of us, as a blank slate. Grown and we learn from experiences and tales of others. We learn from our mistakes. It would have been something you've learned as a thief I'm sure_."

I crossed my arms and gulped.

"Uhh...yeah. Yeah I have. But I'm a proud thief. Don't care what your stances are on the issue. Unless it kills me. Then I care."

She laughed. I'd never heard a laugh so sweet before. From a dragon as well. Who'd thought?

( _"You better not be getting any ideas."_ )

What? No! Look, this has nothing to do with...

" _Brynjolf..._ "

I didn't realise she had gotten closer me as I was arguing mentally with the priest. Her face was abnormally close to mine. Now this is a seven-times-larger than normal dragon we're talking about here. So her head was huge. It made me a bit nervous, to say the least. I wouldn't try to dare to step out of line.

"Hmm?"

She lowered her head.

" _For the ritual I will need you to keep the Amulet of Kings on. As it only works on a Septim._ " She told me.

My eyes darted from left to right. How generic.

"This better not have anything to do with the way Martin Septim saved Tamriel." I murmured.

Sotrahkun glared at me. Somewhat, frightening as someone normally as calm as she is.

( _"Are you serious did you not see how she just fought Alduin?"_ )

I mean outside of battle. The majority of dragons, Paarthurnax notwithstanding, fall regularly into their inner nature. Sotrahkun shows no such signs, weirdly enough. She holds herself well enough with a grace never seen and a warmth previously unfelt.

"I would never put your life in danger like that. It is similar, but it is not the same." She informed me, cooly.

" _We do not have long until Hahnubopraan and Durnehviir are taken down._ "

I blinked.

"You'd pull your own children's lives for me? I am not worth that mu-"

" _SILENCE!_ "

I felt the brunt of her furious roar and the fire in her eyes. Her wings were raised in a position meant to intimidate. And intimidate she did.

" _They know what's at stake here. Do not tell me who is not worth what! Everyone is important. Especially you. You who stand here at the end of time with me._ " She berated. I could swear she was crying. I felt my own heart wrench at the sight.

"Lass I..."

( _"Lass?"_ )

Oh no... She shirked, her wings flinching backwards at the words. Why is she acting strange all of a sudden?

( _"I guess living at the beginning makes her feel that all life born is precious and that she sees how life is going to end."_ )

She then straightened herself out and stretched her neck, staring at me and attempting to keep a straight face and forced her self back to a state of poise.

" _Apologies for my outburst. Now. Like I said, we need to induct the ritual with a small prayer. I want you to pray to Talos for me._ " She asked me.

"Uh so what should I say?" I asked as I rubbed my neck. She lifted her chin.

" _Anything. All your hearts to desire. Pray what you want. Pray for all. I will induct a shout as you attain more power._ " She answered.

I crossed my arms. Another shout?

"What are you hoping to achieve with this?" I questioned.

She smiled again. She's just like the Realm-Walker except, perhaps it made more sense for an actual Dragon to be more cryptic but at this stage it's really not necessary. Seriously, just out with already.

" _It's always been the destiny for a Dragonborn to slay Alduin at the end of time. No matter what line you're from. You hold the blood of Talos. For his spirit lives within each Septim. He is Dragonborn too...so you are the only one to wear the Amulet of Kings and take my thu'um. A Septim is meant to withstand the power of it. And as thus, he has imparted his power to you, Brynjolf. You keep going and what ever you do, do not stop this prayer until I say so. Understand?_ "

This was nonsense from start to finish. I wanted to believe. I really did. I wasn't sure why...I am a Septim, of course. But you know I could be robbing some nobles house by now. But then I always rememeber Petra's words and I get back to it.

"Forgive me for the lack of belief la- dragon. I understand you completely. Sort of. I'm just having a a hard think about it." I admitted.

She bowed her head.

" _It can take time to learn how. You start off not knowing and your heart tells you to be afraid of the unknown and to avoid those who seek to harm you. We must harden our spirits to carry those burdens and through experiences we learn and share with others and ourselves. It is the vulnerability of youth that begins with us being raw and the safety of knowledge and instinct that guides us when we're older. We've followed orders to survive from others who take you through those same scenarios and to teach others and eventually, throughout the generations, it just grows. You may be long gone but the lessons are still there, unwritten but locked in the minds of the pupils you held dear so they too can teach it to the next generation. You know that well Brynjolf. It may take years to see, or a single point of inspiration to allow your heart to truly bloom._ "

I keep remembering the lass from that day as a lad. I now recall the scars on her face but the rest of her face is in shadow. But her words, Sotrahkun's words made...some sense to me. I have had experiences and I have a hardened spirit. What am I missing?

 _("You hold in confidence in the abilties that you've held for most of your life. The ordinary life that lead you to be a hard working thief. Skepticism doesn't help a lack of confidence into something you're not used to. Embrace that which you know but also open your mind to that to which you've never seen. Sometimes you may not see it as such, but you've helped Petra find that within herself. You never understood it completely but you used what you learned and passed it on to her."_ )

I'm sorry. Standing on a piece of ground that is miles away from actual solid ground, where my head is light and my body in a near state of freezing does not help as much. But I know what you mean. I helped Petra because...because of who I am. To aid others that is in my nature. To conquer and win though. Is in my blood.

( _"I seriously doubt the Guild would have held as long as it did without your help. You have the uncanny ability to draw in people."_ )

So I've been told.

( _"Ready to conquer then?"_ )

To win? Of course.

( _"Then let's do this."_ )

I walked over to the Shrine of Talos and grabbed hold of the Amulet and grasped it tightly with my hand.

" _Brynjolf. I need you to stand over near the edge then face me. Or else this won't work._ " Sotrahkun explained.

I nodded and wandered over. I seriously hope this shout of hers was not going to throw me over.

( _"You have my wings you fool. You'll be fine."_ )

What ever you say. Anyway. I sat down on my knees and looked at Sotrahkun, who stood there, awaiting for me to start. Honestly, who creates these weird rituals?

 _("Quit your complaining and make a prayer already."_ )

I swallowed.

"Alright...phew. Let's see. Talos...Talos...I'm not quite sure what to say. I've been banded to you ever since I was a young lad and through Prolg whom I thought was my father, I've felt slight tugs and pulls and was quite scared. I'd ran away from him after a sermon turned sour and hid behind a rock. I was crying and I was frightened because I knew what he would do to me if he found me. I was ready to run away from you for good. I met a member of Thieves Guild. Beautiful lass, albeit look like she'd seen a few fights in her time. You must have been watching over me that day. Or was it Nocturnal? The Daedric Prince whom you yourself once worshiped. I'm aware of your connections to her and that you were once a Nightingale yourself. Looks like you and I followed in the footsteps of our ancestor, Zoklotinhaar, the Grand Dragon Priest. But this lass was like, you had sent her to me, to let me know everything was going to be okay and I persevered because of her. I'm starting to get better details the harder I think about that day. She was wearing the black version of the Thieves Guild armour, she had her hair, wrapped up in a ponytail, albieit with a few bangs of a fringe on her face. Her smile, that made me warm. And...and those...those..."

( _"Bryn, look, what's happening?"_ )

The amulet charged a bit and started to glow, sparking with odd silvery tendrils coming in and out of it. But my mind was focused on the memory of that unforgettable day. But...how could I forget that...

No that's impossible.

( _"Hey, get your head back in the prayer Bryn. It's not going to work if you stop now."_ )

"Right, right. Where was I. Yes. The...eyes of the most wonderous creature I ever laid sight upon. Those of light blue...just like...like."

( _"Good keep going."_ )

"Just like Petra. You either, sent me her on a whim or someone just like her. This was before she was ever in Skyrim. She was living in Cyrodiil Just like you. Guess she was a dragonborn after all. Very similar to you. Both children of Skyrim in reality and somehow Cyrodiil was just a focus for the both of you after. Even me. So I have a lot in common with you as well. Not just as your descendant, but the way you've helped people in the past and your desire to unite all for a good cause. That you birthed an Empire so grand the Aldmeri Dominion was envious and declared war."

It was getting brighter. Means this was working. I looked at Sotrahkun who bobbed her head, ushering me to continue. I was still in the state of disbelief that...a Petra look-a-like was the one who lead me to who I am.

"They took away your godhood and at first I failed to care. Then I realised how much you're needed in the lives of the nords. How much you gave them and how much they gave back that I eventually saw how criminal...ironically enough, it was to take away such a...paragon of hope and unity that it shattered many once the White-Gold Concordat was signed."

It's true. I failed to care as much about it. I never had the time nor the wits about me to return back to the Shrine in Riften...It wasn't until.

"It was until I met Petra that I found out what was really going on. I guess that day in the woods with the look-a-like subconsciously drew me to her. She was just skin and bone. Petite thing that just...followed orders to the letter and despite her hardships, became a skilled thief within a short amount of time. Before I knew what she was, there was always something about her that got me interested and invested in her well-being. Was it part of me that was attracted to her? Or was it part of me wanting to help as a genuine human being? Friends first, then I fell in love later? I don't know what my intentions were...really. But I don't regret meeting her. Not at all."

The light was almost blinding, as it made odd noises, like a chime that was ringing in the air. It felt mystical, then I could see feathers falling again. I stared at Sotrahkun, who had spread her wings. It was almost time.

"None of it all makes sense to me. What, with all the weird magic. But I suppose you just have to accept it without knowing all of the facts. If that's what having faith actually means. To believe in something so, grand, unforgiving and relentless but it's actually doing you good and makes you and others happy then so be it. We've all suffered enough and deserve that light at the end of the tunnel. Not all of us will become Gods at the end, but I guess, we must feel pretty close to it."

This was nearly overwhelming that the amulet was dancing on my chest, giving off extraordinary amounts of an interesting holy power. That aedric power that Wheatley spoke of.

"I still...I still feel like I'm in way over my head...my head here. There have been good times and bad times. You expect that...in life. I'm normally not religious but I'm willing to make due with you. You who have given me life. Don't know if you expected Barenziah to keep the child or to tell her to give birth and give the kid away. Good decision? Bad decision. It's fine. You were only human."

( _"I sincerely have no idea what's going on but the glow you're having at the moment is...a good sign I guess?_ )

I tightened my grip on the Talos Amulet as the charge of the powers with the Amulet of Kings was overwhelming that I could almost pass out. Come on...get it together Brynjolf.

"No...no matter how absurd this actually looks like now. I'm guessing you're listen...listening to me. You take away my energy and my soul...or what ever it is you need...take it. Take and do what you have to do...I'm not holding back."

( _"I do agree with you on the absurdity there."_ )

I saw Sotrahkun inhale deeply, preparing her shout. I took my own deep breath and braced for impact.

" _ **Bel..**_ _ **Pah Sil!"**_

In an instant, the Amulet exploded. Thankfully, I blacked out before I could feel any immediate pain.


	105. Unite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious yet, it's made plain now as Sotrahkun has a few more tricks up her sleeve- err wing.

 

I am of sound body and mind, a correlation of stars in the night and the sun in the blue skies. I have seen a lot during my own existence and have lived long enough to know where my heart will lead me. But I am not your usual Dragon. I am Sotrahkun, White Dragon of the Father and wife to Akatosh, mother of Alduin and dragon kind.

They call me those names, but do they really know me? My power? My construct and sphere to the world? The time lines I have seen are near infinite and for every Dragon Break I felt the sting. To know is to understand the reasons for my being and the sheer strength I hold for the worlds I watch over. They are the same world, born from choice and what if scenarios.

That is what the Tree of Choice's is. The culmination, the representation and sight to see everything there is that time has become for Nirn and by extension Mundus.

My mind settled with the transformations, thanks to previous experiences. My story isn't finished just yet and I'm actually something accrued from eternity itself and the short life of a mortal. I know who I am and who I once was. I had inherited all that was from what was left of the creature who was dying at the Maas, the Seed. Confused yet, friend. That's fine. I don't expect a mortal to understand the complexities of it. To explain it simply, I am whole, two beings made into one, combining the insight and closer experience of mortality and the transitioned memory and soul of that to which I had merged with, thanks to a few factors that had been put in place. I am me and I am actually glad. I have lost the mortal weakness to Godlike reasoning's and am able to keep my own sanity, thankfully enough. See? I said thanks. I feel a bit better, worried of course, but like Martin said, I now see what he meant by knowing what I had to do.

It was the choice I had made to do what needed to be done and now I am finally allowed to make decisions that make sense! I see that! It's...it took a while to get there and it's better than I hoped it would be. I think I know why they never told me in the first place. If I told you, your head would explode to put it simply enough, but for now, my plan to save the world and time itself, was falling into place.

I hadn't spoken with Bryn in regards to this plan though. I held the essence of the Monah personality well enough but I have enough of me to stay as me, although it does slip through unfortunately, may have to work on that a bit better. But this plan is going to be fantastic, I promise you.

When I found out about Kyne's Tear I did a bit of subtle investigating with the implanted memories that I had. Absurd but it exists. It sits atop of the world right above the Time Wound that the Tongues made all those years ago, with Alduin. (I seriously can't believe I'm his mother, would you believe that?) being caste into the future. I tried explaining this to Bryn and when he pointed out my lack of caring for Hahnubopraan and Durnehviir's lives I'd lost it.

It was unintentional, I swear. It brought out the mortal in me who was offended. I'd made my sacrifice already and I have the faith of the children I had brought into this world. I had realised then I was myself, and nobody else. I know who I am and what I must be.

I had apologised for my actions and returned to grace and told Brynjolf all that he needed to know in regards to the ritual...which was a plan I had constructed, purely by the beauty of choice. Akatosh told me I can and I will.

As Brynjolf went into prayer, describing the divinity of love and the memories that were shared. I tried to hold back more tears. Even as this, I am not more a crybaby than I was as a mortal. Figures I would be like that.

But it was so heartfelt, that it struck me in deep. I've never anyone feel that way about...me. Before. A love so tender that Mara would be overwhelmed and overjoyed above all else.

But it was working as he spoke with his ancestor god. Funny how he's related to a god and I'm related to a Daedra and a God? Somehow. It works, believe me, just takes a while to get your head around it. For a mortal that is. I'm beyond that kind of stuff.

I watched as the light got stronger from the genuine warmth of his meaningful prayers. I'm sorry Realm-Walker. When you told me who you were I wasn't sure but now I see. This had require the spirits of all of us, all of us who dare to exist as who we are and what Akatosh and I had decided to be adequate for the worlds to be saved by those deemed with enough to carry on the name of Dragonborn.

Yes every world has an Alduin and every world has a dragonborn and the same destiny is written for all of them. Although not all of them will go the way that they're originally planned for. Time is fantastic. That the occasionally time line will divert and I know the Tree of Choice's is catered for events like that and will divert when necessary. I fully understand it's true purpose now and my own.

* * *

Once I could see the power itself had reached the threshold, I had inhaled to release the shout needed, to release the full strength of the Amulet's true ordinance.

**" _Bah...Peh Sil!_ "**

The force of the shout knocked Brynjolf out. Whoops. Sorry. He'd almost fallen off the cliff himself, had it not been for Zoklotinhaar's timely intervention. But unfortunately, the body itself had lost strength and he disappeared after saving...himself. He had laid on the ground with his arms splayed across. Good. This was good.

But the power enveloped him greatly, protecting his body as the surges of white energy shot out at a blast like pace, shooting up near the stars before descending straight down to Nirn and into Tamriel. I had to make sure that they would make it near there. I raised my arms into the air, cleared my throat and straightened my neck.

" _Un hun, un hun Siir kendovro hil..."_

A tune, I had heard before and now I fully comprehend it's meaning.

" _Zu'u fun hi, Zu'u fun hi Faal Dovahkiin meyz_ "

Singing it as a dragon is bizarre, but as Sotrahkun, my Thu'um is like, Lovaas, music...song..

" _Voth kod suleyk do kruziik bron baas"_

I glow and glisten under the sun, the holy light that shines upon me and the warmth of Aetherius keeps me close.

" _Korah, korah faal Dovahkiin meyz"_

I was not born to prove the dragons wrong. I was born to prove a point.

" _Niidro oblaan wah vokul do pah Keizaalro paal"_

To inspire such songs and legends, I feel like it's an honour to be revered.

" _Kosiir, kosiir faal Dovahkiin meyz_ "

Perhaps I know it all started with choice. A single choice that could change the world.

" _Fah vulom lost rahn Ahrk zoor gah naram"_

The worst part is that I didn't want to be involved. I longed to live the normal life, but I had that taken away from me.

" _Hi mindok, hi mindok faal Dovahkiinro meyz"_

Now it was like that for a reason...

The powerful surges of white energy kept pouring out of the Amulet, then eventually it was left there, exhausted. I folded my wings and lowered my head as I looked at Brynjolf as my own heart felt the same feeling it always had for him. Mara guarantees those things don't change.

I walked up to Brynjolf, who was just so...tiny. I was an Amethyst Dragon before hand, so from a Monah Dovah's perspective, I am gigantic. I got the hang of it straight away but you never get used to it per say. But I'm managing either way, with the blessing of the memories and powers of that to which had died and exploded in a barrage of feathers and now I bleed those same feathers.

I picked Brynjolf up with my teeth on his armour. I had to be careful not to end up biting him by accident. I flicked him up and chucked him on my back. I had be cautious of what I had to do here. Brynjolf still means a lot to me. None of that changes either.

I flapped my wings and made our descent towards Skyrim, to see the magic unfold on the ground there.

* * *

I passed that clouds and the storm, seeing Hahnubopraan and Durnheviir still managing to hold out a bit longer. If there had been another way to stop this I would have taken it, but sadly, I have to make do even as what I am now. Alduin is far too powerful for me to underestimate too easily, even if he is my son.

I had inadvertently killed off the last Sotrahkun, whether by mistake or that's just how the Dreamsleeve operated. I won't get into exact details, you know, mortal mind and all that nonsense. Either way, I had made it the ground, seeing a glorious sight.

I could see Older Ayisha and the Nerevarine alongside surviving soldiers, Companions and Assassins of the Dark Brotherhood as they were swarmed by the numbers of Thalmor, Cultists and Draugr left remaining. The other Alduin flew nearby, confused by all the strange white glows dotted around the field.

I stood in front of a wall nearby at Fort Greymoor as I looked at the chaos around me. I could see the piles and piles of dead bodies around me. My heart wept at the sight. Those who have died for this cause, to save time. You will all be remembered, your spirits that will ascend to Sovngarde on this day. I will, however, not give up on my promise for your reward when this is all over. I must survive. For my own promise to Brynjolf must remain in place as well.

For all those who have died for me. For all those who have died in senseless wars with senseless sacrifice I weep for you, for I look into the Tree of Choices and see each of your fates and am saddened that I cannot aid you.

It is the downside of my position, for while I can clearly see the death...I am not obliged to save them all...I have the sacrifice myself, but ultimately it is everyone else who makes the sacrifice in the end. For when all is gone, I will remain alone in eternity with less a mortal to converse with. I will bide myself in the beginning of time and make do with the loneliness.

The Nerevarine and Ayisha approached me as I lowered myself and allowed the Nerevarine to grab Brynjolf as his body slid off my back. He looked at me strangely. Fair enough. He deserves an explanation.

"Sotrahkun, what's with all these strange souls around us?" Ayisha asked me.

I looked at them all, standing there as they stood at me. Each of them were their own and unique. Of all races. Nord, Imperial, Redguard, Breton, Altmer, Dumer, Bosmer, Orsimer, Khajiit, Argonian, Male, Female, Mages, Warriors, Brutes, Thieves, Assassins, Alchemists, Necromancers and all those in between...Those who have succeeded and died in their worlds.

" _They are all Dragonborn from alternate worlds, each one for each Alduin, awaiting their Spirit-Mother's command_." I told them.

The Nerevarine's eyes widened.

"What should we do? Are they gonna fight them off?" He asked me.

I nodded, then looked at Brynjolf.

" _Take him somewhere safe. The both of you. I will take care of the rest_." I told them.

Ayisha nodded.

"Ayisha will do as Alkosh's mate commands."

I smiled as I flapped into the air and flew around the confused bunch, as the Prime Alduin made his way down alongside his flock and snarled at me.

"You play a dangerous game, Monah." He told me as the pair of us stared each other down.

" _You started this. It is only fitting that all of your fates should seal you in and irony caste rears it's ugly head."_  I taunted.

I inhaled as I looked down on the battlefield.

" **Slen..TIID VO!** "

I could feel the dread and heart drop from here, his expression changing as I sent a wave of my thu'um the Dragonborn below me, giving them flesh and form. Once they had their power once made whole once more, they fought alongside the survivors with great threat and promise that would make me proud

"ATTACK!" Alduin cried as he flew around, giving hasty orders to his brothers.

" _You cannot pull back that which you had started. You wanted this Alduin. You wanted me to be here.._."

He growled. Then he smirked, making me perplexed as he was inspired by my words. That wasn't a sign I wanted to see as it was riddled with evil intentions. This wasn't good at all.

"No...you are right. I wanted this. This is all I need right here..."

I am not getting good vibes from this at all. He grinned as he inhaled. Oh...Gods...

"This is a gift from one of your beloved Dovahkiin. A Dovahkiin you had first sent down to make a mockery of us. Thank you, Sotrahkun."

What? No! I charged at him, roaring as I went to initiate combat with the fury of the White Dragon.

Instead he flapped there and inhaled. NO!

" **Sotrahkun!** _ **ziil los dii du!**_ _"_

I could see a flash of light then a smear of darkness alongside someone else calling my name as I had not properly prepared myself nor did I get to Alduin in time. But I felt nothing of it. What is this?

I could see the black figure falling down quickly. The black raven wi-...Oh. Oh no...please, Akatosh no...

I got down there as quick as I could to capture Brynjolf. No! You idiot! YOU GODS DAMNED IDIOT!

He landed on my back as I swirled around. Please, don't be dead. I'll tear down time myself if I have to. But...

I looked up at Alduin and let him feel the extreme hate I had for him right now. Son or not, he was going to pay.

I gave him the loudest screech I could, I couldn't care less if anyone else was covering their ears or not. Let them here my sheer sorrow. Let them comment if they must, let their whispers of confusion fill the air and their fear shine. Let them know if you dare touch him that you will pay dearly.

The skies burned underneath my heated state as a stormed brewed, sending heavy rain.

"You care so much for a worthless joor, Monah..." He taunted.

"It is why you are still weak and unworthy of the thu'um. You may have laid the eggs to allow us life, but you cannot for the life of you handle the lives of mortals. They are nothing but souls to consume."

I gritted my teeth, feeling the warmth of my tears running down as were as large as the raindrops.

I looked down at seeing the Dovahkiin below me, staring up at me, alongside the other Alduin standing by, awaiting for any actions. It was then I had realized a difference between us. A concept of belief that I had with me...just not...in the way I had imagined.

" _You do not understand the mortals like I do, kul. Their hearts know more about sacrifice then you ever will. Death is a part of them because it allows to them to see what they can do and what they can achieve in such a short time. It allows them to live their lives they way they want in the limited scope. While joor like Brynjolf and all these Dovahkiin may never understand our concepts, my scope extends to both mortals and immortals alike. And there is reason for it. You want to rebuild this world Alduin? You will find it very difficult. Your bormah is watching us right now, and I know he will say this. That you are not a tiiddeinmaar, a time keeper for good reason. You simply do not understand what limited time is._ " I called out.

Alduin growled at me and rose his wings.

"I was born to destroy this world at the end of time! I was meant for that! Surely you would know I am the Chosen Dovah to do this! You cannot deny that!" He roared.

I shook my head.

" _No. I cannot. However you used the power of the Kel to empower yourself and your brothers far beyond your means and the damage is too severe to reverse. DOVAHKIIN I EMPOWER YOU ALL TO LEARN THIS SHOUT...THIS THU'UM AND SEND THESE DISPLACED DOVAH BACK TO YOUR TIID! FEEL IT IN YOUR BONES! JOOR ZAH FRUUL!_ " I roared back.

I allowed them to tap into my understanding of this power that I had found at the time of the Dragon War. A thu'um strong enough to use and that I may weaken them without weakening myself. The very concept of mortality is offensive to Alduin. So that the destiny of these dragonborn that may or may not know, but I will remind them anyway of what they must do for themselves and for each other.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Alduin cried out.

I glared at him again. He must know his mistakes.

" _You may not know this, but I see all timelines, kul. I see all of tiid and I know this is what happens when you get too far ahead of yourself._ "

I listened and felt the sweet sound of Dragonrend pulsating throughout the fields, as each of the Dovahkiin took the fight to the next level. Go my spirit-children. Take your might and shake the very foundations of the earth with your talents and rise above all else, as you born to shine.

Alduin panicked as events unfolded around him, spinning around in circles as each time replica was taken down from the sheer strength that overwhelmed them. Let him go made from what he himself has created.

Their bodies burned and warped into glows until they remained as nothing but pure burning energies, that circled itself up towards the stormy skies. I closed my eyes and summoned a portal the Currents of Time, allowing the fragments of Alduin replicas to float above me in a display like none had even seen. See me Akatosh? See me now allowing me to make the choices here and now!

The Prime Alduin gritted his teeth.

"You know this timeline can never go back to the way it was, Monah. You no longer exist to defeat me. You said it yourself, a dovahkiin must defeat the World-Eater at the end of time." He berated.

I lowered my head and looked at Brynjolf on my back. I could...I could feel him still alive. His soul remained...thank goodness.

" _I did didn't I? You see Alduin you still cannot grasp the concepts because the Elder Scroll had twisted your meaning of the world. I am Sotrahkun, for I am tied the lives of each and everyone one of you. I know where you all are and where you will be. And as long as the Tree of Choice's exists, then time can be mended any way which way or form. I will guide a new path and mend things to how they should be and what not they are now_."

He looked beside me as a familiar face flew beside me, with her red cloak, dovah decal armor and her moth like wings and white hair.

"I think he fears true death Sotrahkun..." She said with a smirk on her face.

"Diga Arch-Fire. I trust you are well?" I asked her.

She shrugged. She had the same sway as the Realm-Walker always has. I was glad to see her again.

"Good to be back. You're right. Death sucks. But Wheats and Chell kept my body livid and fresh as I returned back to the Shield. But as your spirit-daughter, I am at your command, Monah." She exclaimed with a much wider yet devious grin.

Alduin grovelled. Such a stupid fool.

"It is clear then we cannot finish this in the mortal realm. That we must finish this in the Currents of Time...return back to the Maas and fight to see who is right." He roared.

The Realm-Walker rubbed her head.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you?" She said, exasperated, then turned to me.

"Want me to take the big boy and you be on your way then?"

I looked at Bryn and my mind keeps telling me to apologize.

"Y _es thank you Diga. Once this is over, take the Dragonborn back to the Dreamsleeve when you can. They'll need to be re-scattered._ " I told her.

She then saluted me.

"By your orders Monah. I'll also put in word with the Jarls to clean up this mess and rendezvous with any survivors. Good luck."

She took Brynjolf off my back and flew off, leaving me with Alduin and this staring contest we were having. Time will adjust itself but for now this was a battle that would truly determine who would best the stronger and more righteous of the world's pasts, presents and futures. For if I cannot convince him that this isn't the way, then I may have to make a few alterations.

* * *

I must admit though, I panicked again. I had thought I was going to lose Bryn to all of this. I can't let him die, not now. Not while we were so close. I will uphold my end of the deal my love. This is what I must do though. A battle for the sake of the world. Mother verses her son sounds stupid. I am a former Dovahkiin, but my mind is still structured as Petra, Doom-Driven. For I am one with time itself, seeing all existence to what it was and what it will be. That is my true power.

The true power over choice is within me now and I will decide the fate of Alduin whether he likes it or not. I could afford to allow him to play for a moment, before I lay the pain of Akatosh on his pathetic mind. I went first as I flew up to the portal back to the Maas, as Alduin followed me suit, not allowing me to get out of his sights just yet.

You were right Bryn. The Gods knew I would make the right choice. Thank you.


	106. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle may have been won, but the war isn't over.

 

I'd almost lost myself there. But I had woken up after the ritual, feeling cold, dark and damp somewhat. I was feeling light headed and my vision was blurred, but I had seen the sky of storms, alongside Older Ayisha and the Nerevarine as they watched Sotrahkun argue with Alduin. We listened in to their conversation as they disputed the meaning of Alduin's work and why it would fail.

When Alduin announced his intentions from then on, I knew what he had meant. Sotrahkun had lost it and attempted to attack him and I instinctively had forced myself to intervene as he attempted to steal her soul with the infamous shout that we'd heard so much about. I think I successfully blocked the shout, but my world went black yet again afterwards, leaving me in the void of dreams once more.

I didn't feel dead, though it's said that you probably don't feel much at all. I'd half expected to be left here but it was similar to that day in Riften when the dragon attacked and threw me into Lake Honrich, as I descended into the depths alone, but then I felt a warm hand reach out and take mine, bringing me out of the water and attempting to resuscitate me. I had seen Petra's face, drenched in a mixture of the waters of the lake and her own tears, reddened from the constant crying. I didn't care what state her face was in, the knowledge before hand knowing she was alive and well, having been told prior that she had been killed in Snow Veil Sanctum drew daggers to my heart, but I had somewhat felt she was alive somehow and it just was a great feeling knowing she was okay.

I had expected the same for this. Or death. Perhaps Nocturnal will come on by to take me and allow me to spend my time paying off my debt for her gifts, standing guard of the Twilight Sepulcher, like great Nightingales of old. Like my ancestors.

But nothing came. My soul wasn't with any other, since Alduin may have absorbed the souls of his slain brethren all the same. I'm not all quite sure how that works but I'll leave that for now.

My eyes reopened again, only for me to see a tent roof and the sound of rain on fabric. I still felt cold and my arm was aching. I drew breath from the icy air and my entire body had been softened somewhat, a pulse of dull pain flowing from head to toe. My body armour had been taken off, leaving my chest exposed, albeit there were bandages on my chest and my left arm in a sling. I sat up and winced. I could see the older Ayisha sitting there with a concerned look on her face.

"Papa, you're awake." She said, her face lighting up a bit.

I nodded and grinned back.

"Aye, that I am. I was half expecting to be somewhere completing different, but this will have to do." I said.

She got off the chair, as I looked around. I was definitely recovering in a tent, probably the camp. She dragged the chair closer as she sat next to me, looking at the bandages that I had only realized were wrapped around my head as well.

"Don't move too much, you took quite the beating. You saved Sotrahkun. It was a noble deed." She informed me.

I rubbed her cheek with the back of my hand. She smiled, purring a bit as she rubbed back. Even when she's older, she's still just a kid. Or this was just some Khajiit quirk or how they treat their elders or something.

"So where did Sotrahkun go?" I asked.

She held my hand against her cheek at first, then dragged it down and rested in her lap and fiddled with my fingers. I doubt she wanted to let me go.

"Sotrahkun and Alduin have gone back to the Maas at the Currents of Time, decidedly to finish it all off." She replied.

My eyes widened as I tried to sit up, but ended up wincing a sharp pain surged through my left arm.

"Papa please! Don't move you'll make it worse!"

I almost bit my tongue in doing so, at least I would have a different form of agony to lean upon. I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"So what just happened? I really don't know what's going on..." I asked her.

A question on everyone's minds, I imagine.

"From what had been explained, and from what had been seen, Sotrahkun summoned Dragonborn from all time lines, one for each Alduin that was here. So there was quite a lot around. And they were from all the races of all skills, talents and occupations. And they worked together, beautifully with such valor that one by one, each Alduin was taken down, their bodies and souls burned and ascended back to the Currents, which Ayisha assumes that they were eventually go back to their appropriate times." Ayisha explained to me.

I rubbed my chin. Fascinating. So that's what Sotrahkun mentioned about the ritual as well. Didn't think that would actually be possible. But there you go.

"Sotrahkun was worried about you. She made a terrible shriek, thinking Papa died. For a moment there, Ayisha did too. But Realm-Walker had taken your body from Sotrahkun and here we are."

The Realm-Walker was alive? Oh thank the Gods. I did recall Wheatley telling me that the Realm-Walker was a Dragonborn from another time. It made sense that Sotrahkun would have revived her as well. I felt a bit better.

"So where has she gone?" I asked.

"Realm-Walker busy tending to other Dragonborn, going to send them back. All Alduin are gone, except for Alduin of this time." Ayisha stated.

Looks like at least some of his plans failed there at least.

"Aye, I should be there. I don't want her to go through this alone." I said.

It was interesting to note that Sotrahkun had fallen into some kind of despair? Or what ever you would call it after my own death. I guess her heartfelt concern for me was more in relation to me as a Septim if anything, containing the links between me and the total strength of the Empire.

I was still wearing the Amulet of Kings around my neck, which still reacted to my touch.

"Any potions to spare? I need to heal quickly and find Sotrahkun." I told her.

Her head lowered.

"Ayisha can find potions for Papa, but please don't leave..." She told me, tugging my hand.

I leaned over and stroked her cheek again.

"Ayisha it's okay, Papa will be fine. You've grown to be a strong woman. We've found your real mother here too and she's looking after...you at the moment. I think you need to get in contact with the Realm-Walker a- huh?"

I looked at my ring as it pulsated red.

"Realm-Walker said the ring saved Papa's life from his soul from being consumed by Alduin." She explained.

Huh. Nifty little thing. Impressive. But still, I had to find Sotrahkun, I don't know why but my own heart desires it so. Petra saved her life and I am inclined to make sure that doesn't go to waste.

"Do you miss Mama?" I questioned.

Ayisha lifted her head.

"Mama Petra?"

I smiled.

"Aye lass. I do."

Her eyes got teary a bit teary.

"Ayisha misses Mama Petra dearly."

I slowly shuffled myself off the bed and stood up slowly and grabbed Ayisha's hand and pulled her up and allowed her to cry. I rocked her a bit.

"Ayisha understands what Mama had to do, but Ayisha cannot help but want her here with us." She admitted.

I agreed as she rested her head against my chest.

"That's normal Ayisha."

Although strangely enough, when I was near Sotrahkun, I still felt a bit of Petra there with us anyway. I don't know how but Sotrahkun is a lot like her for a weird reason. Perhaps it's in honour or it's something that I'll never be able to understand fully. My heart feels stronger with her. I don't know.

"Ayisha, you were there when Petra parted. What actually happened?" I asked her, as we parted and I rested my right hand on her shoulder as I looked at her.

She wiped a tear from her face.

"Lil' Ayisha and I defended Sotrahkun's body as it lay in front of the Maas and the Tree of Choices. Mama walked through a set of gates and disappeared. Khajiit created wards to protect Sotrahkun, but next moment, the body just exploded in a flurry of feathers and they were absorbed into the Seed. Then the Seed reacted with powerful magics, summoning a larger White Dragon in place. Sotrahkun died and reborn Ayisha believes, much larger and beautiful than when she was dying."

Petra must have gave what was left her own energies back to what she calls is her spirit mother, her essence recreating her form. She must have then started to fight Alduin in the Currents and the Laaglein when we'd seen them previously. Makes sense.

So she had to die after all. Just like what the Regkosot said she would. Petra wouldn't have wanted to break her promise and now I feel stupid for forcing her to do so. Damnit Brynjolf you selfish bastard.

But I guess time itself is more important than a morally based agreement. I would have done the same thing.

"So where is everyone else?" I wondered.

Ayisha turned around and looked out side.

"The Nerevarine is helping out with the injured and the parted. Also, one of the Assassins of the Dark Brotherhood wishes to speak with Papa, when he's ready."

More work to do then.

"Aye, let's get to it then."

* * *

Ayisha prepared a potion to allow the pain to ease slightly, as I got back into my gear with a bit of pain but otherwise I'll be okay. I think it was just strain and nothing else seriously broken which I'd say would be completely lucky. Nocturnal's luck strikes again. We wandered around the camp, which was a lot more empty than it was previously. The odd healer here and there running around. The stench of death and blood sifted through the chilled air, sent across by a breeze. What a mess.

Ayisha took me to meet with Astrid, who stood by with several of her associates around the side of the Western Watchtower.

"You wanted to speak with me?" I asked her.

The blonde nord nodded.

"That was quite the battle. A bit more flair than what I'm used to, but at least it may keep Sithis satisfied for a while." She told me.

"Aye it was. So many lives lost though." I responded, solemnly.

"Indeed. Seeing as the Guild is no longer running and that your displays out there is quite the something, I'd like to extend an invitation to the Dark Brotherhood, if you're looking for work still."

Tempting but... I know I had Mavens offer on standby as well.

"I'm flattered lass, I am. Thieving's all I know unfortunately. But if I can get it up and running again, then that would be ideal...but I'm going through a lot right now and I'm not entirely sure what I'll end up doing."

She fiddled with her dagger in her hands. I don't like the idea of murdering marks, it kind of goes against the whole idea of making coin without losing lives for so long. I'm not cut for murdering, just thieving's all I've ever done.

"I'd met the Realm-Walker before too. Said there was some man named Prolg chained on the top of the Throat of the World that may need to be taken care of. Is this true?" She asked me.

I'd prefer to forget in all honesty. But in truth, I'd debated about killing him.

"Aye. I'd almost forgotten he was still there. But we'd lost a lot of dragons guarding the place, which means he might still be trying to escape if he hasn't done so already. Warning, he's a Vampire Lord. So take caution."

She smirked.

"Oh don't worry, we've handled Vampires before. And Babette is quite the catch indeed that I'm glad she's on our side. But the offer still stands if you need a place to stay."

Astrid as always been a good associate with the Guild thanks to Delvin. We're both on the same side of not exactly dealing with things the lawful way and we cover each others back when we need to. It's also by extension we have a common ally in Maven Black-Briar.

"I'll think about it for now. This battle may be over but there's still a war to win. Just not in the normal way." I told her.

"That's fine. If you decide to set up shop elsewhere let us know. We should be able to lend hand and coin if you need to."

* * *

I thanked Astrid for her kindness. Like I said, we're all in the same boat here, except we look after our own. Ayisha took me to a bonfire where all the wounded were surrounding to warm themselves. I could see the pain, anguish in their eyes as they struggled to recover themselves from the slaughter fest. Some of them recognized me as they stared at us when we both sat down. She got me some warm soup to drink up. Lass likes to keep an eye on me, probably scared that I'll run away if she's not looking. She doesn't understand why I need to go see to Sotrahkun though. It's quite important. But for now, if anything else comes up, I suppose we'll know sooner or later.

I feel bad though. I'm definitely not leadership material though. This men and women fought and died for something they hadn't really prepared themselves for. I mean, who wants to take on dragons let alone fighting one with the moniker, World-Eater? A lot of the were Nords and had known the legends since they were children. They fought anyway because it was either that or die eventually. A lot of them would have gone to Sovngarde to this day.

In part, their stares would suggest they were waiting for me to say something, anything at all. I did tell them I was a Septim, that would play a part. I felt their scrutiny and judgement and the weight of expectations was pretty heavy indeed. I don't know what else they want from me, but a few words couldn't hurt. I gave Ayisha my bowl as I stood up and cleared my throat. I hate making speeches.

"Children of Skyrim..." I started, Gods this is just not me.

"I am proud to what you all have achieved today. I understand we've lost a lot of good people today. Friends, brothers, sisters...comrades in arms. And a lot of you are wondering what had just happened. You have all proved, that you have the strength to carry on despite the great powers that were against us without completing understand what you were actually fighting for. And you ask of me what purpose did this serve?"

This may take a bit of...nerve and inner Septim monologuist. If you can call it that.

"My name is Brynjolf and I had told you before I am a Septim, the last living one. What just transpired here was a battle to protect all of that, to which we hold dear. If you have heard of Alduin, the World-Eater, that he was destined to consume the world at the end of time. I could see the fear in your hearts. I know what it looks like, but you persevered and carried on anyway, like true nords."

I really don't know how to explain it.

"Know that what you have done here today has been seen as successful, despite heavy losses. And that all that have been taken, will be welcomed in Sovngarde."

I'm pretty sure that's as comforting as I could make it.

"You all deserve rest and time to recover yourselves. While we wait for more word of what's going on with Sotrahkun and Alduin as they continue to fight one another, I'd advise all of you...to go home and heal, but keep Sotrahkun in your hearts. Do not fear to allow Talos into your lives again. You are free to revere him as you wish. Do not let the Thalmor and the Dominion crush your true beliefs for their treachery has been noted. If we need to fight them we will, but we have taken care of a bulk of the forces and it may take some time for them to regroup and declare war again. But for now relish in your accomplishments and that Sotrahkun fights for all us and is proud of all of you as well."

I guess I'll need to let them know one more thing they need to do.

"A lot of you here are just tired, wounded and mentally and physically drained. If you still want to help, then give your prayer's to Sotrahkun. A dragon so noble and full of beauty that she will continue to fight until the very end. Can you all do that for her?"

I could hear them muttering amongst themselves, conversing in their uncertainty. I wouldn't expect to totally absorb it all. Their minds as weary I get that.

"I said, can you all do that for her?" I said, albeit a bit louder.

One of them rose a tankard in honour, which, eventually, everyone else followed suit.

"We will." Said the man in front in Legion armour.

"Aye so will we." Said the woman in Stormcloak armour.

Eventually it got them a bit more sparked up than they were before. So that was a good sign. I smiled.

"Thank you all. Your names will be written down in the history of time and never forgotten."

I didn't like the spotlight as they all looked me with their lightened up faces. But it wasn't that bad. Still don't like doing it, but I've always been the one to heighten spirits. It's always been in my nature. Whether it was the so called leader in me or something else, it's quite the tale to be had especially with what had just been accomplished. Then they all wanted to speak with me. Thank me for what ever reason. I'm...I'm not used to this kind of thing. I feel...honored. I don't think I deserve it but one of them stated I had given them hope for their future and their children's futures. Heh...hope. I guess it works out like that even when you don't know what's going on half the time. To hope and believe and for faith and trust to pull through when you're in the middle of a frenzied clash and you have strength in your sword arm to know where to aim and to block and to be quick on your feet and let your aim be true. After it was all said and done, Ayisha and I wandered off in search of the Jarls, whom had retreated back to Dragonsreach to discuss what will happen next.

* * *

I had the eyes of the townspeople going back and forth between the camp and the city itself alongside soldiers and guards from all sides. I'd imagine that I could have made quite the impact on them. Please don't revere me as a hero though. Ayisha walked beside me and looked after me still. Gods bless the lass's heart. I know at one point she will need to head back to her time but for now seemed content to stay here with me and make sure I'm alright.

I could see Dragonsreach perched up there in all it's glory. And when we went inside, I was greeted by a young nord woman, who's face reminded me of Petra.

"I'm Lydia. I've been informed by the Jarl to be your temporary escort. But it seems you already have one. I was supposed to be the Housecarl for a young lady that he was planning to make his Thane, but it looks like that never happened. So for now, Jarl has made you Thane instead, but he'll need to tell that you first before anything's official."

That was...out of nowhere.

"Uh...thanks. I guess?"

She walked us up the steps towards the end and into what appeared to be like a War room. There stood Jarl Balgruuf, Ulfric and Legate Rikke, as well as the Nerevarine as they conversed. Unsurprisingly, he had a bottle of sujamma in his hand. I face palmed.

"Jarl?" Lydia first spoke.

"Brynjolf is here."

I had to admit I was a little nerved here. But they considered me royalty. Which I didn't certainly feel as such.

"Ah good, thank you for coming." Balgruuf announced.

"Good to see you're still alive." Ulfric commented.

"It's probably more than necessary if he's considered the true heir as Emperor." Rikke noted.

No please don't.

"So what's the situation?" I asked them.

Balgruuf rubbed his chin.

"We were hoping you would tell us. But at this stage we've lost so many to this battle of yours. It better have not been for nothing." He stated.

Ulfric's grin indicated he knew more than he let on.

"Tell us, sweet prince, that display...all those warriors that came out of nowhere. Judging from the use of the thu'um and how they talk down all those...Alduin. Were...they all Dragonborn?" He asked me.

I rubbed my neck. This is where it gets complicated.

"Aye they were. Don't think about it too much. It worked and that's that." I replied.

The Nerevarine chuckled.

"Yeah he's right. It's one of those god things that's just from using very powerful magics that even your average mage would have trouble grasping." He said.

Rikke was a bit skeptical.

"Hm...it's hard to imagine anyone to with the power to do that. This, White Dragon Sotrahkun, that who is the mother of all the dragons, including the Dragonborn themselves...I doubt General Tullius himself would believe me when I give him the reports." She said.

Yeah...I wouldn't argue with that.

"So last we saw was that she, and the Alduin from our world, had risen up to the sky and vanished through some portal. Any idea where they went?" Balgruuf wondered.

"Sotrahkun and Alduin have headed to the Maas, the Seed and the Tree of Choices, to combat each other one last time to determine our fates." Ayisha explained.

Balgruuf didn't seem happy about that.

"Wait, so this isn't over?" He asked, worried.

I wish it were so.

"This is Alduin the World-Eater we're talking about. He embodies the negative trait of all nords; he's stubborn to the core." Ulfric acknowledged.

"Explains why he's still bothering to fight." Rikke pointed out.

I bit my lip.

"I've told those who listened to head back to their homes and rest for a bit, but keep their hearts and minds with Sotrahkun. They've earned it."

Balgruuf nodded.

"We've agreed to work together to gather the bodies of the fallen and bury them. We've begun the process of burning the bodies of our enemies and all else and clean up the mess. I have no idea what we're going to do with all these dragon skeletons lying about."

"Make armour?" The Nerevarine pointed out.

"Dragon bone is a sturdy material I've heard."

I rose an eyebrow at him.

"That just seems a bit disrespectful." I stated.

He shrugged.

"Because thieving isn't?"

"Touche."

"It'll take a while but we'll get there." Balgruuf continued.

"So what's the status of the Dominion then? Any word?" I queried.

Rikke sighed.

"No doubt that they'll want to wage war with us any day now, but it'll take a while before they manage to get any decent numbers. If anything else, the elves are very patient. I might suggest laying low for a while."

I furrowed my brow.

"Why's that?"

She crossed her arms.

"You've admitted your lineage out loud so I would expect assassination attempts in the near future. You may need a bit of protection at this point." She suggested.

"We can do that." Said a familiar voice.

"Delphine." Ulfric stated as a woman walked up the steps alongside an older man, Esbern.

I smiled. Ah I'd wondered where they were in all of this.

"Haven't seen you in a while. Worried you'd gotten caught in the crossfire. Where have you been?" I asked her.

The breton lass lifted her chin.

"Apologies for not talking with you sooner. Esbern and I were on the other-side of the fields when we were combating the Dragons. We heard your little speech as we were sheltered amongst the crowds. I find you being a Septim a little hard to believe, just as much as when I had to suss out that Petra really was the Dragonborn. But we have reason to trust you. As a Blade, we've had our obligation to protect the Dragonborn Emperors of the past. I'd be violating my oath if we didn't guard and guide you." She answered.

Gods, could this get any more difficult. I'm not one for attracting this type of attraction. My little speech may have done more harm than good. Well done Brynjolf.

"Alright look. Here's how it stands. Just...don't worry about me for the moment and worry about Sotrahkun. I'm not one for politics and I don't tend to take position as Emperor when you still have Titus Mede II in at the moment and even in the event of his passing I don't want to. I'm sorry." I said.

The Nerevarine stood beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's up to you serjo. You know what's going on more than any of us. Let's just give him a moment to breath and to absorb it all. We get that he's important. But he's right. We have bigger things to be concerned about than his lineage."

"Thanks Nere..." I told him.

I've heard more stories of the Nerevarine, he's more an example of a hero than I am.

"Call me Azarath." He told me.

Huh...wondered why that took him so long to tell me. I'd never thought to even ask him.

"So where is Petra nowadays?" Said Delphine out of curiosity.

I sighed. Thinking about it brought me pain.

"Mama is gone. She died to save Sotrahkun." Ayisha informed them.

Delphine rose an eyebrow.

"Hold on, so that mage wasn't joking? The Dragonborn really is dead?" She said with disbelief.

The room was met with synonymous gasps.

"Wait, so while that was dragonborn being summoned into the battle before, but...are you saying our dragonborn hadn't been?" Esbern pointed out.

Again, it gets complicated.

"Aye. That's true. Petra didn't want to be Dragonborn and yet it was all piled on her. She did what she did because it was necessary. Or else we would have died a lot sooner." I told them.

Lass was given a heavy burden. Heavier than she desired.

Delphine tapped her bottom lip.

"So wouldn't she have been summoned alongside if she was? A lot of them were spirits seemingly resurrected in a similar fashion on how Alduin was bringing the dragons back to life. Surely Petra would have come back as well." She acknowledged.

I pouted. She had a point there. I would have seen her there in the fighting, but I hadn't. What could it mean?

Ayisha's eyes glistened.

"Lass, what is it?" I asked her, seeing she had the sense of realization written all over her face.

She stared at the ground and tried to think.

"Ayisha saw Petra go through Dreamsleeve. Sotrahkun was being guarded by Ayisha. Sotrahkun explodes and is absorbed into the Maas, the Seed. Sotrahkun is reborn..."

Balgruuf scratched his head.

"I don't quite follow." He muttered.

I tried remembering the conversations I had held with Sotrahkun earlier. She had chosen me to allow me to summon her to the fray. Although that might have been because I was a Septim, I feel other reasons were in place. Her tears...her outburst. It all seemed...familiar. She knew more of me than anything else. I thought it would have been because what she was. But, it may be more of the case on who she was...who she once was.

We've followed orders to survive...

Wait...no...is...is that even...

"And she did say Alduin wanted use the Elder Scroll on her to ascend to the heavens...gah how could I forget?" I berated myself for being so damned forgetful.

"He got what he wanted and she died for it. But she's still alive."

By the look on Ayisha's face, she knew it too. Same with the Nerevarine.

Everyone was still confused.

"Care to explain?" Delphine demanded.

I lifted my head up.

"Petra died. But she was reborn. She was the essence needed to resurrect Sotrahkun but in the process...she'd become Sotrahkun." I pointed out.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Said Rikke. Of course she'd be would have hard time believing that. I would to. But the pieces fitted together so well. I was blind to it.

Ulfric was bemused.

"So the Dragonborn became a Dragon? A Dragon-Goddess nonetheless. How ironic." He said.

Indeed it was.

"Explains why she was overprotective of you and fell into temporary despair after she'd thought we'd lost you." The Nerevarine stated, with that signature grin of his on display once more.

How could...I have been so damned ignorant to see that?

"In a way, it might not be a bad thing." Esbern claimed.

"The shout she taught everyone was called Dragonrend, a shout that I've read up on that is said to force the concept of mortality on Dragonkind. Dragons, being immortal creatures would not have any concept on such a thing. But if it is Petra who ascended as such and has kept her mind in the process, that she who was originally born as mortal and reborn as an immortal, can understand the meanings behind both."

In a way, that sort of made sense.

"She would know what was at stake for everyone, which explains her love for us. It's refreshing to see dragons not trying to kill us all for once." Delphine continued.

_Do not tell me who is not worth what! Everyone is important._

"She does not share the same arrogance that her supposed children do." I stated.

While we could have argued for the philosophical reasoning's behind this, it was critical more than ever for me to find Sotrahkun...I mean, Petra. It was my call, no matter what anyone else said. I know that somewhere, deep in this dark heart of mine, even if I don't even know what to do, that I need to be there with her. To remind her that's still my lass and that...she's still mine. Her humanity is stuck in that immortal shell.

("Think about it...your intentions will not bode well with either Maven or anyone else. Do you really think you'd be able to return to a normal life?")

I guess I didn't think my speech through enough.

("Make your decision Brynjolf. Or you will follow down the same path as me.")

Zoklot...

* * *

 

I closed my eyes, seeing the Dragon Priest before in the dark void.

"Petra's become something unreachable for the majority of people. Your love for her is as strong as mine was for Nocturnals, perhaps stronger." He explained.

"She has a duty to attend to on a permanent basis now. Her lodging is not the same as yours. You cannot possibly share the same realms."

Not if I can help it.

"The difference between Petra and Nocturnal lad is that Petra was once mortal. I don't want her to be alone there." I told him

Zoklot grumbled and spat. I'm certain I hit a sore spot.

"You fear her being alone? Or will you feel alone?" He asked me.

Me...alone...

No Guild. No one I'm particularly close to. The father who raised me, never was and the father who didn't raise me, is dead. The mother I took care of, gone despite the effort. Now I'm surrounded by people who'd either want to use or kill me.

Even with Zoklotinhaar here...I'm not fond of him prodding into my very thoughts.

"I have nothing here for me anymore Priest." I stated.

"Everything else has been spoiled. By death, by war. I'll not likely able to get back into thieving the same way."

It was an empty, cold feeling. The mortal life I once desired has been replaced by a powerful presence that was large enough to fill it and to be separated like that would be painful. I've been through horrible messes before and I've got back up with no problem. But this...cuts deeper than I had ever anticipated.

"I don't want you to suffer like I did boy." Zoklot continued.

"Chasing a lost cause and dying with many regrets."

The cause isn't always lost however. If I could somehow find a way, like we always have. It's always been my ideal that there is always a way to win, even if we're about to lose.

"If it is Petra's fate, that she must fight Alduin for an eternity, then so be it. It is not your fight, Not any mortals fight. Not anymore."

Petra still had to be Fateless somehow.

"No. It isn't." I said.

"Remember mortals can still choose to fight if they want to. It's a reality that no God can decide for them."

Zoklot then eyed me with caution.

"Even if it ends in your death?" He warned me.

"I'll be guaranteeing that the Petra side of Sotrahkun would not be pleased if that happened. She may end up going mad and abuse time herself without realizing if that occurred."

Which is why she needs me there...to remind her...

"I'm not sure if Sotrahkun inherited a lot of Petra's...more unique traits." I stated, subconsciously noting Petra's other aspects.

"But I want to be there to ensure she doesn't make the bad choices. I love the lass dearly, but even I know she makes the stupid decisions from time to time."

I'd never heard Zoklot laugh so hard before. Why was that even funny.

"Hah...which is why your relationships great. You don't ignore each others faults. You aim to help and guide each other to be better people. Whether it be a nord or a Dragon." He commented.

Never really looked at it that way though. I figured, from what the Realm-Walker once told me about her depression, is an entire condition that requires ongoing treatment.

"Aye. I know she'll still be Petra...but the cost she's paid...it's quite high." I said.

Zoklot crossed his arms and looked away.

"Petra put on a Mantle no other would be able to wear. The effects of taking someones knowledge of time itself. I'll be honest, I do not want her job." He said.

"Can you imagine the amount of knowledge that's taken residence in her mind now? Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of eternities worth. I'm impressed she's taken it as well as she has."

It's like...you have to be insane to begin with.

Did...did Sotrahkun see this coming? There is no way she wouldn't have be able to. Descendant of Madness...only one to handle the near infinite streams of time.

"But tell me Bryn. If it you really think it's a love worth keeping, you're really going to throw it all away for it?"

If I could spend an eternity with her, then yes.

"Like I said, nothing is keeping me here. I have acknowledged that I am not going to pursuing anything more on the Empire's side, whether they like it or not." I answered.

Even with Ayisha, she has her mother. Her real mother. Now she's someone who will be making a difference in the world, that I know. Her future is brighter, than anything.

It will hurt. It already does just thinking about it. I get attached to people too easy, don't I?

The Priest sighed as he faced me again.

"I don't know what good will come of this, boy. You have potential. A lot of it. Are you absolutely certain?" He questioned me.

I gave one simple nod.

"Yes." I replied with utmost confidence.

He bowed his head at me as he closed his eyes.

"It seems I have little choice of my own. Very well. I will impart my gifts to you permanently. I have no use for them now. But they will be very useful to you, as they have been." He said, sounding a bit tired.

Previously I've other forced the power from him or he's given it to me willingly. Why the change of heart?

"I'm a relic for ages past. It's always been clear you've been the stronger one, ever since they decided to bond my spirit to you. But more importantly, you're more than a Thief, a Nightingale, a Septim and a Dragon Priest. You've been you this whole time and I've learned such individuality is sacred. To not bow down to any God, false or true. You know what you want and you'll find a way to get it...on your terms."

"Zoklot..." I muttered, not believing what I was hearing.

"The Dragons always had might equals right policy but your heart, your belief...your faith. Always won out. You are no longer my vessel, but my teacher. I must thank both you and Petra for such valuable lessons." He continued.

"Go now. Make your destiny and make it count."

* * *

I know weighing the options was difficult. But I've made my choice and I'm sticking with it.

"So, what do we do now?" Said Rikke.

"I'll need to let Tullius know what's going on and I'm not going to sugarcoat for him just because he's an Imperial."

I know what I'm going to do.

"I need to get the Maas straight away. Petra needs our help." I said.

The Nerevarine unsheathed his blade.

"I'll come with you serjo. I believe the portal to Maas is still open for now. I guess she might be expecting you anyway." He said with a wink.

Still smart as a whip. But I couldn't exactly carry them all there as Ayisha volunteered as well. Delphine and Esbern rose their hands. Rikke had paperwork and the Jarls had people to tend to. I had Lydia, who remained quiet, but was insistent she protect me. I can imagine Petra in my place. It'd be hilarious to see the two together.

"I forgot to mention, Durnehviir is still here somehow. Said Sotrahkun's power is keeping him here and alive. And Hahunbopaan. They're out back by the way." He continued.

The look on Delphine's face was hilarious, she clearly did not want to ride on their backs.

But we'd gone out there to see the undead dragon and the Amethyst Dragon talking with one another. We'd caught up with me and talked them about our plan. They were happy to oblige as Ayisha and the Nerevarine went with Hahnubopraan, while Delphine was grossed out with riding with Durnehviir. Thankfully they shut up as we ascended to the portal in the sky.


	107. Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An influence hides in deeply, only to expose itself itself in unexpected ways.

 

I know the entire concept of Petra being some kind of Dragon Goddess was considered ironic, since in the past we made a joke of her being some kind of Dragon Queen.

Well now look what's happened.

In my head I'm trying to figure it all out and put the pieces of the puzzles together. I know in terms of what she had to do was what she felt was necessary, but I'll be content as long as it makes her happy. She's possibly dead but alive in a weird sense, combined with her former spirit and the power of the White Dragon. Did anyone see this happening? Besides Sotrahkun herself...

I know I do recall the lass in the dirty yellow dress huddled in front of the statue of Talos in Riften. This...tiny nord who had grown from relatively nothing, to a master thief in the matter of weeks was astounding. She had talent and skill and yet, she would stay clear from other people. I regret not trying harder with her but this is her destiny and she can choose what she wants to do from now on. I won't stop her.

My heart wants me to hold her in my arms once again. But I definitely know that isn't going to happen. But what makes me feel better is that knowing I had loved her and I still love her for who she is as a person and no matter what she becomes or what she is, that won't change. Because she'll always be Petra to me. And she's my lass. And I am proud to love her and know her.

* * *

Once we were through the portal, I could see the amazing atmosphere around me, at how the ground was like one giant mirror and that I could see the tree in front of me, in it's glowing glory. This must have been the Tree of Choice's I heard so much about. The sky was cloudy and dark, the sound of thunder booming all around us. I couldn't see Sot-...I couldn't see Petra or Alduin anywhere.

Though I could see the Realm-Walker alongside the tonnes of other Dragonborn by the tree itself as they looked up at the sky, waiting for anything to occur. Hahnubopraan and Durnehviir dropped us off by the white haired lass as the rest of us inquired about what was going on. Delphine and Esbern couldn't believe their eyes, amazed at the strange aspects of this particular realm. I too was particularly in awe of such a place. It had been explained that we were at the Maas, at the beginning of time itself as it spread forward. It was nothing like I had ever seen before.

I walked up the Realm-Walker, though she had a serious expression on her face that got me worried.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"Sotrahkun is duking it out with Alduin in the storm clouds up there. Don't want to know the exact details but I expect she's giving him a pounding." She informed me. 

I nodded. But I had to know.

"Diga.." I said, using her true name "Is that...Petra up there?"

Once her eyes fell and her warmth gone, I already knew the answer.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. I was slightly peeved at not being told this.

"Petra knew what was at stake here Brynjolf." She replied." She didn't want to, believe me. She would have prefered to stay here with you but she knew she couldn't. She knew...she knew that she would have to die to save this world."

I gritted my teeth. Not this again.

"What's all this crap about her supposedly able to make her own choices? Why say that when she never had much say in it herself?" I roared.

She had her arms crossed as she looked up at the clouds.

"It is not Petra as Dragonborn that is fateless." She explained. 'Most of these Dragonborn have been in her position before. All of them. Including me. We've all been through Helgen. We've all been at the Western Watchtower to confirm our destinies. No matter what, this is what Petra would have gone through anyway to confirm her destiny..."

BANG!

We could hear huge snaps and roars of thunder alongside shouts, seeing Petra descend from the clouds as Alduin and her continue to shout fire at one another, like a vicious battle dance in the sky. But held the fury of their birthrights smack in their hearts as they continued to fight on.

"This could be a war that would never end. Simply because Alduin is still stuck in his old ways and that Petra was supposed to destroy him in Sovngarde."

I looked at Diga strangely.

"Sovngarde?" I muttered, confused.

A male nord clad in iron armour stepped forward, wearing one of horned nord helmets as he watched the combat above us.

"The final battle is meant to be in Sovngarde. We do not die. Odahviing takes us to Skuldafn, the portal itself. We fight alongside ancient heroes to slay him and prove our destinies forward. This...this isn't how it's supposed to happen at all." He explained.

I rubbed my chin and thought about it, then looked on at the other Dragonborn. They all had that same blank yet intensive stare. I'd seen a piece of Petra inside of everyone of them. They were practically the same, if I'm not mistaken.

"Sotrahkun protects her children but understands the complications that arise with meddling with time too often. It's better to have stories that end on a higher note than that which destroys everything. She cannot allow him to win or else Mundus...existence itself will fall." Diga warned.

Delphine lifted her chin. I wondered how normal mortals would react to this without going insane.

"So she helps Akatosh create the Dragonborn at the end of time. Because that's where it was supposedly supposed to end. But because Alduin had meddled in too much, she was forced to stay her hand...or her claw to create fate." The Breton worded.

It's hard to wrap ones head around.

"How can we help her though? She's still fighting out with blacky up there? What can any of us do?" The Nerevarine...Azarath pointed out

I looked at Diga again.

"Come on lass, you're Dragonborn too. We have to do something." I pleaded.

She shook her head.

"This is her Alduin. This is the same Alduin that has messed time up to a stage that ultimately, that she decides what will happen. This is the gift of choice that has been given to her. This is a fate she writes for herself. However, Alduin himself has the same grasp. He's refined himself to a state that eternity would come and go as it pleased and they'd still be fighting." Diga explained further.

No. That isn't fair. Petra is supposed to slay him as Dragonborn. Not as a Dragon! This wasn't right at all. They flew around one another locked in this throe unable to put the other down. This wasn't their fate at all.

Both of them...were fateless.

"You'd think that Sotrahkun would be able to succeed in fighting him off. But this has gone too far without a second thought. We'll all surely perish before anything decides to change. But Brynjolf is right. We have to do something." Azarath said with slight urgency.

Diga rubbed her forehead in frustration.

"I'm afraid I don't know what we could do. This is an Alduin far stronger than any other. We have slain ours and have completed our tasks, ready to return to the worlds that each of us belong to. Interfering will make things worse than they are." She said, her voice tired.

I furrowed my brow. You'd think as Miss Know-it-all, she'd have a solution.

"You're such a damn hypocrite. You come here and make all sorts of changes. How do we know none of this is your fault?" I roared.

Azarath put his hand on my shoulder and ushered me to calm down. I...I shouldn't be going off like this. I'm just too worried for Petra's sake. Others see a Dragon, I see a woman tormented by responsibility and share her pain. If Petra has the power to change reality like she has, then we should have the power too.

"So you're a Dragonborn from your timeline? Yet, you've attained all this...power. What are you exactly?" Delphine queried.

Diga then bit her lip. Oh aye, here we go.

"My story as a Dragonborn is lot more complicated. Let's just say I stared into the heart of Aetherius and became this. I never introduce myself as such because I feel those days are long gone. It's also because I am a child of two worlds, by which no one here will be able to understand the real meaning. And this is not about me at all. I came here as an experiment and yes, perhaps some of it is my fault. I let Petra live after you tried to kill her. But remember, I am still look out to outsider forces on this..." She explained.

I still felt ashamed. Although, that was your fault too Priest...

Priest...

Zoklot?

* * *

"Look those were some considerable circumstances out of my control." I told her.

She smirked.

"See? Same problem. While all timelines start from here we are all born here eventually. And what ever is in our control is because this is what our fates had brought us. But look up..."

I could see the tree expanding itself with odd dark blue and pulsating branches that had intertwined with itself at one stage. It was staggering to see the mixture, even if I couldn't understand it.

"We're all tied here and the Tree knows. Interfering could mean worse for all of us and if Alduin win's he'll ensure no dragonborn are created and therefore the Dragon War would have been won. We are inclined by fate. Petra isn't." Diga spoke, standing back with the group.

It was getting too confusing to cling on to a concept like that. No wonder why they call it Gods work. Sheesh.

"So what do you suggest we do then? Stand here and do nothing? Unlike me, you can't afford to stand and watch this rage on for the rest of your lives." Said Azarath as he stared Diga down.

"All remaining Alduin are dead. All of the Tears are closed. Only Mama can close the book." Older Ayisha mentioned.

"Mama makes final decision." Young Ayisha continued as she stood next to her older self.

Petra has to know what she's doing up there. But both Ayisha's were right. What had been causing much of the damage was gone and what ever else remained as part of the influence was no longer of concern. Only Alduin's stubbornness remained.

I felt the pendant on my chest as it was glowing in my grasp. Talos. Akatosh. What do I do? This is a combination of your beings embedded in the flesh of the powers of time.

"I wonder...is Sotrahkun able to use the same shout Alduin did to try and reap her soul?" Azarath questioned.

Durnenhviir looked at it.

"I sincerely doubt it. That sort of shout is not Aedric at all. Something of a Daedric nature, I'm sure." He commented.

I lifted my head. Daedra?

Nocturnal...

I wonder...

( _"Brynjolf."_ )

Wondered where you were.

( _"We need to get into the Dreamsleeve."_ )

Why's that?

( _"Trust me."_ )

I looked around, then stared at Hahnubopraan.

"Hey lad, how do we get to the Dreamsleeve?" I questioned.

The Amethyst Dragon looked at me strangely.

"The Dreamsleeve? Once needs to know where they're looking for in their hearts here. The Maas will decide who's spirit needs to be absorbed into the Dreamsleeve itself. Why?" He answered.

I honestly have no idea why...Zoklot?

( _"I have an idea. You may or may not like it."_ )

Which means I won't like it.

( _"Of course. Get to the Maas."_ )

I walked over there, with Diga and the others following suit.

"Brynjolf, what are you doing?" Diga wanted to know. It was good to surprise even her sometimes.

The tree was huge as expected as trunk responded to something. The Amulet maybe? I don't know. It was glowing again and I wasn't even touching it. It knew who I was and what I was. Wait, what...

**VOS SKULD RAHND**

( _"It knows my intentions Brynjolf."_ )

Just warn me when you take over my throat...Gods that hurts. I could then see a huge Golden egg like thing floating there as the trunk opened itself to me.. Then saw a burst of light that nearly blinded me. When I came to, I saw a huge set of brass gates. So this must have been the entrance to the infamous realm where Petra disappeared into.

"Brynjolf you're mad!" Delphine yelled.

"Papa what are you doing?" Young Ayisha cried.

This is your decision Priest. What ever you decide to do, I'll follow.

( _"No. You won't be leading me in there."_ )

What?

( _"It's been too long now. I should have come here in the first place. I was unworthy of Sovngarde after all the terrible things I had done as a Dragon Priest. I have forced you to murder and to destroy and do it all against your will. I have been bringing nothing but pain and agony for all of my life. Because I never got what I wanted. And now I have this chance here. A chance here to rectify everything. Tell Petra I'm sorry."_ )

Wait, what...

GAHHHH

I felt a huge surge of pain throughout my entire body, as a black aura escaped my chest and flew to the gates themselves. I barely contained myself, but Gods it was like he was ripping himself out of me. It hurt like hell.

_Zoklotinhaar..._

As soon as all the spectral energy escaped my body, the bronze gates slammed shut as the trunk closed itself, sealing the Seed back inside.

Delphine and Ayisha helped me back on my feet. I'm not just sure what just happened then. But the two lasses put my arms around their necks as they took me away from the tree. Zoklot...what did you do?

"The Dreamsleeve absorbed his spirit. It absorbed the Dragon Priests spirit." Diga spoke with shock.

Azarath rose an eyebrow.

"Wait, so that this...Dreamsleeve...so the doorway Petra herself had to go through...he just went in there?" He said, dumbfounded.

I felt a bit weak and my legs continued to give out on me. I went back to look at Petra as she continued to fight it out. I could see the pain in her eyes already. While her body could fight for eternity, her spirit couldn't. I found the downside of a mortal mind merged with an immortals. That she wouldn't be able to mentally cope. Perhaps this is what Alduin wanted all along. For her spirit to break. Petra couldn't give up now. Please Petra.

I planted my legs on the ground and fell on my knees and forced the girls to let go of me as I did so. I know I still had a hard time believing everything I was seeing. And I think everyone else was too. I held the amulet of kings in my hand and I looked at it. It had a...weirdly enough, two more jewels added to it. My understanding each of the gemstones that surrounded the large ruby stone in the middle each represented one of the divines. But the two stones that were added, two more added on the top.

One was a round white pearl on the right and the other. Like a weird black pearl. I could have sworn they weren't there before. I grasped it again. It felt renewed, like it had power to it. Even more so.

The young Ayisha wandered up to me and sat down next to me, having a look at the Amulet, perhaps sensing it's somewhat oddly new power. She told her older self to have a look at it as well.

"Have any idea what this means?" I asked her.

She rubbed her chin.

"It is strange indeed. A new power have been given to the Amulet of Kings. Two in fact. Energies of both light and shadow." Older Ayisha answered.

Diga ran over as well.

"What in Oblivion was that? Brynjolf what in the Gods...wait, what just happened? I feel...faint." She muttered as she caressed her forehead.

Delphine looked at her.

"What is it?" She asked.

Diga looked weary.

"That is a power far too overwhelming for us to bare. If I had to a guess, Zoklotinhaars already been fiddling with things in the Dreamsleeve. That was quick." She noted.

"Brynjolf, don't tell me you can't feel it."

Aye, I did. The Priest had done something to it, but I don't know what. The two pearls, black and white seemed to fit in with rest of the gems.

Azarath scratched his chin. He was just as perplexed.

"My guess is what ever he did...having heard details of the Amulet myself, he must have somehow altered the status quo within the realms of Aetherius..." He muttered.

Diga's eyes widened.

"Wait, if that's what I think it means..." She said.

Esbern realized as well as he and Delphine exchanged glances.

"This get's crazier and crazier. What do you think Esbern?" The breton Blade asked.

Esbern nodded.

"Ah yes the Amulet of Kings. Brought down from Dragonborn Emperor to the next, starting off with St. Alessia. I'm aware of how it was originally constructed. This suggests two more Gods were added onto the pantheon somehow." He theorized.

Delphine was skeptical. I would be to.

"What? You can really do that?" She queried.

I'm honestly hardly surprised these days. My fiance is a Dragon-Queen. Talos is my ancestor. I've gotten used to crazy.

"If Petra can get to the Dreamsleeve and change herself like that, then surely a Dragon Priest could." Diga explained.

"It wouldn't be surprising if Zoklotinhaar either made himself a God or promoted two others. The Divine Elder Scroll still sits in there." Hahnubopraan revealed.

"I'm detecting a small amount of Daedric influence too." Durnehviir stated.

I rubbed my head. Why didn't anyone think of getting it out then?

Delphine was still confused.

"I'm wagering that, yeah he added two more Gods. So what? How does that help us?" She said, asking the same question I would have.

Both of the Ayisha sat next to me. They obviously knew more than what they were letting on. I looked at them both as they stayed by me.

"Papa, it is possible the new power itself may give Mama a chance to win." The older one told me.

"Ayisha agrees with Ayisha." The lil' spoke.

I kept it close and I prayed. She...she would need this. She would need this again to win. Somehow amongst myself I could feel it. It was hard to work out exactly what the Priest had done, to do it.

* * *

I stood back up and summoned Zoklot's armour, which I still had. He had given it to me as a final parting gift...unless.

The others called out my name as I flew towards the battle with the sheer intent of giving Petra the Amulet.

Some call it fate and some call it something unheard of. Perhaps of sheer coincidence. But the thought of her fighting forever felt draining already. I wasn't going to let that happen. I was who I was and that how I have always been. I've always helped her in her time of need. No one agreed with my strategy and they outright hated me for it. It's gotten me injured, wounded and just a tad bit pain here and there but that's just life. It made me feel human.

But the others were right. I could feel the daedric influence coming from the Amulet. I was trying to work out what Zoklot had done to make it feel that way. There had to be a reason for it. For now I was not going to it go to waste. He was gone. While I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, I felt bad for letting him go. But I couldn't exactly condone his actions, I did thank him for his help afterwards.

Alduin roared into the sky and had no signs of slowing down, while Petra herself just looked worse than before but she was adamant in not giving up. She had the glint in her eyes that displayed the agonizing conflict she had within herself, which must have been transferred alongside her transformation. Alduin stopped for the moment as he saw me floating there. He growled.

"Joor, you still insist on interfering!" He roared.

Petra flew beside me and glared at me.

" _Brynjolf let us be. This is a battle between me and Alduin._ " She muttered, her voice while that I had heard before, now had the same inflections that I had heard a few times before as it echoed.

"Petra. I know that is you and I don't care." I told her outright.

Her manner changed slightly as she lowered her head in shame.

" _Diga put you up to this...didn't she?_ " She asked me. It shocked me to hear her tone change like that.

In most cases yes. But no, not now.

"No. We figured it out on our own. Plus, I know your dragon self when I see it." I claimed.

She looked at Alduin, then back to me.

" _You still have the Amulet and yet..._ " She spoke, then trailed off.

" _You should head back to Skyrim and help everyone..._ "

I stared her down. She needed to know.

"Lass, I know what you're doing and quite frankly, it's a bad idea. Fighting because you have to doesn't mean it needs to be so. Alduin is trying to break your spirit. You are Sotrahkun but you still have the weaknesses of a mortal mind." I told her.

She lifted her head.

" _But I possess the wisdom and memories of the original Sotrahkun._ " She explained to me.

"You do...but Alduin will find that weakness soon, as I have. I can see it in your eyes lass. You want this to be over. And we do too. Please find it in your heart and if not..."

I flew over and while she was far too big to wear the amulet itself, I ended up tying it to one of her horns.

"What is this trickery?" Alduin demanded to know.

I gave him one big glare.

"Alduin, you have played dirty for a long time. You expect Petra to play fair when you have not been doing that at all. She's trying her hardest here and we can understand why she won't take you down. You are her eldest son. A subconscious reluctance to battle you. It's not her fault. But you made her into a Fateless. Where she gets to write her own fate."

Petra realized that too as she stared at me. I thought she would have thought that, or whether it was something else I said I didn't know what was going on in her head.

" _This is also my world, Alduin. If I can cast you back to the Dreamsleeve I will._ " She taunted.

He chuckled.

"You wouldn't. I am needed by her, admittedly. This battle must continue!"

Petra smirked. It was a sight to behold and something I hadn't seen in, forever. An idea that had perked into her head. Maybe it was better if she kept those human traits after all.

" _You are wrong kul. Yes, while you are in a fixed point in time, it doesn't mean I can't defeat you otherwise, like all the other legends of the Dragonborn. At heart, I know who I truly am and with luck and the breathing of my spirit-children against my back. I will defeat. I will defeat you here and now, with the power of this Amulet allowing me to show you what you would have forgotten._ "

I flew back out of the way as Alduin awaited Sotrahkun's supposed attack. She inhaled the air as he sneered at her, thinking it was something quite pathetic that he could actually handle.

" **OLM...VIING VEY!** "

I...I remember that shout as Petra's feather faded to black and were blown off her body as they surrounded a confused Alduin. He tried shouting himself, but the feathers just came back and flew around his body, encasing him in a cocoon of black feathers. Petra's sapphire eyes turned ruby red as she roared and spread her wings wide, allowing the feathers to encase him further.

This is your shout Priest. Of course. The power of Nocturnal. Wait, would that mean...

Did Zoklot ascend Nocturnal to an aedric status? No, the power still feels Daedric. I think. I could hardly tell. Where's Wheatley when you need him?

But I could hear Alduin's roars and screams of pain and agony as he was being cut to death, as Petra was bemused by it all in her state of anger and sorrow. She flew over to me and shielded me with her wing.

" **NIIIIIIIIID!** "

I heard a might explosion and braced for impact as Petra protected me, but I could feel the vibrations of the blast rushed underneath and above me. It then went quiet for a moment after all had ceased as Petra moved her wing. I felt weak after that and could hardly hold myself up despite using the wings. I guess they're actually like extended limbs now when active. Plus Zoklot was gone so I couldn't get him to carry me. Not that I wanted him to.

* * *

Petra allowed me to sit on her back, and told me to take the amulet off her. I put it back around my neck, seeing her feathers turn back to their pure white.

I couldn't see anything of Alduin. Not anymore. He was gone. Well, his energies were being transported to the Maas to be reabsorbed by the tree.

" _In the end, shadows preserved us._ " Petra stated with a hint of disbelief. She sighed.

I rubbed her head. She sounded both surprised and a bit happier within herself.

"It's over now isn't it?" I asked her.

She nodded. I was glad. Really glad.

" _For now. I'll have to take some time to amend a few things but otherwise...yes...yes it's...it's finally over..._ "

I felt a shift in gravity as Petra fell down at great speed. I tapped her and wanted her to keep an eye on what she was doing. Luckily, Durnehviir and Hahnubopraan came to her aid and grabbed on to her wings with their claws. She displayed great lethargy. She had been fighting all day. Even if she had intended to fight forever, she may have fallen. Not her fault. Alduin was just sly.

"Monah!" Durnehviir cried.

Petra lifted her head up.

" _But first...I need to bring back the other two...take me to the tree_."

"Monah, you are severely weakened. Surely you must rest." Hahnubopraan pointed out.

" _It's fine I'll be okay._ " She told them.

Her children obliged as they rested her in front of the Tree of Choices and stood beside her as they kept a close watch as I got off her as she adjusted herself as the others were close by, expecting something magical. She rose her own wings and made song. A sound, so beautiful that Durnehviir and Hahnubopraan lowered their heads in respect. Tears fell from her eyes as she wailed. No words, just a voice like a beautiful instrument that were like chimes to our ears. Her entire body started to glow as feathers parted from her body, spiralling towards the tree and the seed inside. All of a sudden, the veins on the tree were brighter than before.

" **Slen...Tiid. VO!** " She shouted, sending a voice of power towards the tree. Soon, two spectral strands popped out from the Seed and into the air, then started to take form. Next thing we knew, was a pair of familiar of grey and red dragons."

Paarthurnax...Odahviing...by the Gods.

They roared into the air as Sotrahkun kept singing, then stopped what she was doing as she wobbled a bit.

"Monah!" The both exclaimed. It was a mother greeting her children as they came home. You can't help but feel heartfelt over it.

Petra smiled warmly at them...or was it Sotrahkun? I'm still confused.

" _Tiid will now start to mend properly._ " She said, albeit voice sounding weak.

" _I need you two to take care of the Dragonborn here. Take them home where they belong. Monah..monah needs to rest._ "

The both of them nodded and went to work. While Petra flew upwards and nestled herself into center of the tree trunks above as they bloomed to life, with normal leaves, and the sky itself had cleared, revealing a beautiful divine bright blue heaven above. I flew up there with what was left, and joined her in the canopy.

* * *

She rested herself on a gigantic branch and splayed her wings. She was exhausted as she puffed and panted, tears still falling from her eyes. I think she could afford to relax for a while. She's been through a lot and I am so incredibly proud of her it makes me really happy to see her still here with us.

"Petra?" I muttered as I approached her.

She smiled again with the warmth following suit.

" _I was hoping you would join me Bryn. Gods, I am so...damned tired._ "

I chuckled. Poor giant lizard. Plus she sounded like her old self. It was comforting to hear.

"I agree. So what will you do now?"

She sighed.

" _Don't know yet. I knew I need the other two to take care of the others first. I'm hoping to restructure a few things to make time work better than it has been. While it's apparent it's been fixed, I still need to mend...but I'll do that. I don't understand why I am so tired for.._."

I shrugged. I recalled what Diga said about depression making one tired all the time.

"No idea. But mind if I lay against you? Your feathered mane is so soft."

Somehow, as a gigantic dragon, she blushed. Really cute too. Makes me want to pat here and listen to her purr. Then I realize she's not a Khajiit.

" _Uhhh sure. Heh...look at me. I'm not really pulling the graceful and elegant thing am I?_ "

I chuckled.

"No I think you actually did pretty good. You make for a good actress. I'm surprised you didn't become a bard."

She laughed, which was better than her song against the ears.

" _Too boring...but Ah that's nice to hear. I had absorbed Sotrahkun's original essence and flow. Time crap, that's all you need to worry about._ "

I smiled as I wandered over and laid on her. She was so comfortable to lean against. She brought her huge claw over and attempted to poke my cheek. Unfortunately, her claw was too big and would have scratched me if she had succeeded, instead I grabbed it and put it on my lap. I think that's as close as hand holding as we're gonna get at this point.

"Feel any better?" I asked her.

Petra groaned.

" _Sort of. You?_ " She replied.

I shrugged as I rested my hands on her giant claw. I never knew how heavy it was either.

"I'm here with you aren't I?" I said with a flirty tone.

Her slight chuckle made me warm.

" _True. That is very true. I don't wanna discuss anything right now, let's just rest for a moment, then we'll have a look at what we'll need to do next. Anyone asks or somehow get's their asses up here, tell em to go away._ "

Typical Petra.

"I think they know us by now to leave us alone unless it's really important." I told her.

She rolled her eyes.

" _Yeah I know. I think it's because of my mortal mind still absorbing all the god like stuff and mending itself appropriately. I think I'm considered a young White Jill or something._ "

I haven't the slightest idea how Dragons natural processes work. Leave that to the mages.

"Do you think you'll eventually lose yourself as Petra completely?" I asked her, worried.

" _I honestly don't know. I'll figure out something. I broke my promise to you Bryn._ "

Hm? Oh...that promise. I was hoping she'd forgotten about it.

"Don't worry about it. I understand completely lass. I'm only wondering about...us..." I muttered, trying so hard not to sound awkward...and failed.

Silence.

"Lass, I know you're a bit iffy on the whole marriage thing. I still love you..."

I heard a bit of a whimper.

" _I still love you too Bryn, but this is a lot more complicated than before. I have a duty to take care of first that's unfortunately going to have to take priority_."

Of course it did. I wouldn't expect her to abandon it at this stage.

"That's fine. I'll stay with you. So you won't have to be alone."

Again with the silence. I felt bad for forcing her to recall, but I'm not giving up on her just because of what she is. She is Petra that's all I care about it. She's here with me.

" _Bryn..._ "

"Mmmm?

" _Thank you. Like I said, I'll work something out. Just shut up for now and just rest._ "

"Aye." I replied, smiling as I snuggled into her mane. "Thanks Lass."

 


	108. Rewrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiny plays its hand for our heroes, one last time.

 

As Alduin's body burst underneath the power of a mystical thu'um given to Petra and I had mumbled through out discussions as we laid there on the tree branch on how the Dragon Priest must have done something within the Dreamsleeve. Weird as it may be. But in my mind it just seemed too easy.

She'd used the power Nocturnal had given Zoklotinhaar as a shout and had absolutely dominated Alduin like it did with the Dragon Priest. It had taken them both off guard. We were given an opportunity to relax like it was nothing more than an off day but I felt a pain rise up inside. It wasn't guilt. But it was nerves. Zoklot left a void behind and it made me empty. But every time I looked at Petra it was filled with the joy of seeing her. I didn't care she was a dragon. My heart knows its her and its a kind of bond I believe that doesn't get broken easily.

I doubted this was easy for her, to take this all in for what she was now. She had kept herself all this time while holding the knowledge and part personality of the original Sotrahkun. While I was glad this was over, deep within I knew it wasn't. While the skies themselves looked okay, they soon turned dark and stormy. Then when Petra was stirring from her slumber, it appeared more like she was a nightmare than anything else. The tree started to wither, with the leaves dying and falling it off it at a rapid rate. Damn me for thinking it was that simple.

"Petra...Petra wake up." I stood up as I rocked her big head.

She opened one eye and looked at me.

" _He's...he's..._ "

She whined in agony as a feather dropped from her mane.

"What is it?" I asked her, worried like mad.

" _Its..._ "

She screeched as a black fog shout out from the tree itself, bleeding from several cracks and arising to form above us. It took form of something much larger than we'd anticipated. A dragon, similar to Sotrahkun in appearance...only...black. That bastard.

His eyes beamed down upon us all. He flew around us, then descended upon the others who'd panicked and brought out their weapons. Petra's cries deafened me temporarily, but my jaw almost dropped as Alduin released a shout that instantly burned them to ashes, like a stronger version of fire breath. I froze. I couldn't believe.

" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** " I cried.

Ayisha's. Azarath, Diga, Delphine, Esbern...the other Dragonborn in the process of returning to their worlds. The other dragons flew up and tried fighting him off but...

"He's stolen the power. He...he must have gone into the Dreamsleeve and used the Elder Scroll..." Petra told me, her voice weak.

I turned to her. I didn't...I couldn't...

" _What do we do? They're...they're..._ " She muttered.

Gods, why didn't anyone see this coming. Petra tried getting herself up again. No, I didn't want her to fight anymore. She's done enough.

"Please...please don't.." I told her, my voice croaking. Like her, I was extremely tired.

She looked at me, withered and strained from everything. Before me was not the dragon Sotrahkun, but as the stubborn nord Petra, who had put up with so much before hand. She's...been hurt so much and while I am glad she wants to keep going, I can't stand it anymore. It's like I've put this all on my own conscience and I bear her real spirit as my own burden.

" _Alduin...will destroy everything. Brynjolf I have to try._ " She spoke, her voice faded.

I shook my head and let tears fall. I'm sick of this. This was supposed to be done! This was supposed to end and I'm going to end it! Alduin perched himself on a nearby branch and looked down at us, as I could see fire burning all around us as if time itself was searing to bits. This was just riddled with such impossibilities that I could feel the warmth of the flames. Petra wobbled a bit, but she managed to make a stand as she glared at Alduin with what ever she had left in her. Gods bless her heart.

"You think you have won. This is only the beginning. Only Akatosh can stop me now..." He declared so arrogantly.

I felt the Amulet on me glow...then remembered what Nemetona said...

" _We can certainly have the power to understand a lot easier than normal people and we're somewhat benefited on a mystic's scale. We're somewhere stranded in the middle. We have our tenets with Akatosh too. Martin Septim sacrificed his life to save Cyrodiil and by extension Tamriel from the wrath of Mehrunes Dagon via summoning an Avatar of Akatosh to the realm."_

Mother...I see what you mean. The Amulet was meant to come back wasn't it? Petra may have died to be reborn as Petra, but...it was I, a Septim, am meant to send Alduin back. Time may fix itself, but it won't while Alduin continues to mess with it. I can't...I can't let that happen...

_"St Alessia established the covenant with Akatosh a long time ago, creating the Amulet of Kings. You'd only be able to do so by speaking with Akatosh yourself to re-establish something like that in mind. But don't get any ideas Bryn, you're not summoning an Avatar."_

I am sorry...I never realized what you actually meant by that. The Amulet must have been restored when Petra went into the Dreamsleeve herself. She must have gotten to speak with Akatosh himself as he had with St Alessia. Does...does this mean I have the power to do the same? It got worse and I can feel everything all around us. Even the sky. Feathers were scattered everywhere as the blaze went on, destroying everything in sight. My heart was beating fast and sweat drawing on my brow.

"Monah, surrender yourself to your heir! God of Time! I may be able to spare you, but then I would be subverting our own rules here." Alduin noted.

" _You broke the rules! You broke everything and everyone to get what you wanted! Everyone is dead...and that is considered peaceful?_ " Sotrahkun roared.

Alduin chuckled.

"This is how it is supposed to be. This is our birthright." He said so coldly.

Or maybe, her and I were meant to work together. As equal saviors.

" _No. It's not. You've corrupted yourself to a point where Akatosh doesn't recognise you anymore. You're not worth the Aedric position. Your soul, where you're granted true immortality is decreed that you are nothing more than a Daedra!_ "

A Daedra...like Mehrunes Dagon.

"Then tell me. Why did Shor give me the Elder Scroll the first time? He told me that if creation is to be undone, then I must undo it myself...in order to prove the domination of the Dov. For us, for Dovah of all times! We must get rid of the joor that plague us and bring in this new era of peace for all of us. This is our world." He continued.

Shor? Why would Shor himself give Alduin the Elder Scroll?

" _That is not what Shor would have done. Shor himself guides the spirits to Sovngarde to protect those spirits. While you abuse that privilege my kul and consume mortal souls instead. Shor was considered your guardian when you were just an egg! Akatosh allowed him to see what needs to protected. And he gave you the Scroll. He never told you about domination. Your mind clearly has been warped._ " Sotrahkun pointed out.

Alduin looked around, almost freaking out.

"No. He did. Shor told me so." He balked. 

Domination. Why does that term bother me so?

" _He isn't about domination. He's about change. But positive change. He considers mortal kind his children and dovah and joor were meant to be partners...instead you turned that on it's head and now you destroy all that he once held dear. Shor loved you._ " She revealed.

This was definitely coming from Sotrahkun now. Sometimes it's hard to define the difference on who was actually speaking. It was a merge of personality and memory, but I could see Petra as the dominate, drawing out pieces of the dragon herself to prove her worth.

Then what ultimately changed him? What could possibly convince Alduin otherwise of the power that was given to him to destroy the world? Shor, also known as Lorkhan, was the very person whom, through lore and legend, said to have partaken and suggested creation of the world. Whether it's true or not, it just didn't seem like him.

Alduin gritted his teeth and roared into the sky, splaying his wings.

"No! That cannot be true! What...has this..."

He flew up into the sky and dived at Sotrahkun.

"I will try again! This is my DESTINY!"

Petra sat there and stared at him with her own wings open. Her eyes burst with a powerful light as Alduin released a powerful fire shout at her. With what she could handle, she inhaled...

" **FEIM...ZII GRON!** " She cried out.

Her body became a blue ethereal as the fire past her completely. I was mortified Alduin's insanity was incapable of making him see reason. If his own Monah cannot convince him, then it must be...

The Amulet...sent Mehrunes Dagon back. Sotrahkun said herself, he is more of a Daedra than Aedra born now. This...this.

I charged forward as Alduin continued to attack. Sotrahkun transformed back to solid as I jumped on her back.

" _What are you doing?_ " Petra asked me.

"The Amulet lass! I have to use the Amulet!" I told her.

She growled.

" _You fool! You'll get yourself killed!_ " She cried out with despair.

She must have known as well. She just didn't want to tell me.

"Lass, you are the Dragonborn of Choice! You are Sotrahkun White Dragon of the Feather. This is a reality you were made to mold. While I understand that this ties you here, then you must see that it is my destiny as a Septim, connected with the breath of Akatosh, to cast Alduin back from where he came from, like Martin Septim of old during the Oblivion Crisis. You know I have to do this..."

Her eyes were riddled with tears. She didn't want me to die. I didn't want her to die. She was fortunate that she needed to live on her for her duties. This is how it must be.

"Remember your promise Petra. Please..."

She screeched into the air, still unhappy with my decision.

" _Brynjolf, time burns all around us. If you think this will save everyone, then so be it. I am CHOICE! I WILL DECIDE WHAT FATE IS!...use the Amulet...just...just do it..._ "

Her voice was wracked and her heart was tearing apart. I hope the pain will be temporary that she should be proud of all she's accomplished so far. I couldn't think of a more worthy person. She brought the Guild back.

So many lives were lost in this God forsaken War. I stood up on Petra's back as I held the Amulet tightly in my hand as I kept Rahkes tightened in my hand. I took a deep breath.

"I love...I love you Petra." I told her, my own face red from tears.

" _I love you Brynjolf._ " She whimpered.

It was then with my heart weighed by every darkened emotion I could carry as I through the Amulet in the air and I swung my blade at it. For that moment, everything I ever did and ever done...flashed before my eyes. I could have done more? But...I was sincerely happy to have loved Petra, loved a woman was so important to the world and the greatest gift she had ever given me was her love in return. I wouldn't care what happens to the rest of the world. As long as she's here, she's alive and she's happy...then the Gods will take care of the rest.

For now, I will force them to change it all. Right now.

Rahkes clashed with the Amulet, shattering it into pieces as a bright light burst from it, sending light and power everywhere, consuming me, consuming Petra and consuming Alduin and the entirety of time with it I believe.

We'll force it no matter what. Farewell.

* * *

My...my mind is still here. I still...feel myself. I cannot see much...but the white void that surrounded me. It was deathly still but I felt neither heat not cold.

I felt numb, but I can still think, I am but my own conscious mind stuck in a place unknown. Had my plan worked? Did everything...die on me? I don't understand it all myself. But like Nemetona said, we understand this better than your average mortal. If the sun, stars and the moons are still somewhere then we may have succeeded. Petra...Petra where are you?

The flash of memories served me well, as I was shown a demonstration of when I was a young lad. That day. It's come back to me again...why? I would have thought a cessation of existence would have completely destroyed me. But here I am. Formless but nothing but a floating consciousness inside a world unknown. I would have envisioned the void being black, but. I guess this is just how it ends. But the ability to still think for myself is relatively still surprising nonetheless. Am I granted permission to return back or...

The vision showed me the lasses face. Petra...Petra that was you that day but...but how?

You...inspired me to become who I am. To find you. Perhaps it was love at first sight that day in Riften and I didn't know what love was until I was forced to go to the Temple of Mara to learn. I of lesser faith than most resorted to methods I hated to find out what was going on with me. I had learned to believe, because of her. Whether or not she knows that.

She vastly underestimated herself.

I think, in terms that would need to be sent, she's plopped into various circumstances out of her control and out her hind-sight. To be born as she was forced and forced to do the things she hated doing. That she had done them anyway, because she was definitely smarter than she looked. She admittedly let emotions get to her head at the worst of times. She was originally contained, thinking herself worthless and only worth the thieving we had her do. But the thin bony face of the girl in the dirty yellow dress had only been the start of the chaos she had put us both through. For better or for worse? Had this been truly both of our fates? To mend what was once broken and to carry on work that would have destroyed us long ago. This is a Gods work, yet as mortals we're left doing their dirty work.

Maybe that's why they chose us.

Sotrahkun said it herself. That mortal kind and dragons were meant to aid each other. Instead, a lust for power sent reality on a downward spiral that would end up dividing us and want the other to be dead. And it's not exactly your average person would want to solve for themselves. It makes sense though. The Gods are sly and well noted in choosing the right people for the job. A warrior is tenacious and strong and capable of taking down foes larger than himself. A mage contains the power needed and the knowledge learned to see what it takes to defeat his foes. A thief is a strange one. You'd think the shadows would protect you, but sadly that wouldn't be the case. Perhaps it's the ordinary mortals that you would shower yourself from...but I'm trying to think of the factors that warranted a thief to be their savior.

"Like you said, Gods understand someone has to do the dirty work..."

I looked over, seeing something heading towards me. I was motionless but my eyes were given back to me at least. Which was good to know.

But the vision of mine was impaired slightly, as I could see the white dress of the creature, who's voice could not be mistaken.

"Petra..." I muttered with disbelief.

It was similar to the gown Sheogorath gave her...the same one with the white straps and the amulet on the golden chain with the white wing symbols. Her hair was up, decorated with feathers and neatly in a bun. Her eyes glistened like sapphire's and the air of the wisp around her. She was...to put it truthfully, simply divine.

She stood in front of me with a smile on her face. It's been a while since I've seen it like that. She then pouted and slapped me on the cheek, nearly stunning me.

But I did have form again, as I could raise my hand and rubbed my face.

"Don't you do that again understand me?" She scolded.

I was confused at first, then I realized what she meant.

"Now you know how it feels like." I told outright, recalling when she wanted to throw herself off High Hrothgar.

She gasped and pushed me to the ground and leaned over me with a furious look on her face. She pulled her hand back, clenched her fist and shook it, with the intention of punching me. She gritted her teeth, then collapsed in on my chest.

Just like the old days.

She cried into the crook of my neck. I slowly wrapped my arms around her, unsure if any of this was real. But I feel her breath against my skin as she wept and her fingers working their way around my chest.

"Hey lass...it's okay. We're both here. Together." I assured her. I kissed her forehead and continued to rock her body.

I sat us both up as she then sat in my lap. She forced herself to stop crying as she forcibly wiped her own tears away and took deep breaths. It was actually quite amusing.

"I know, I know. I'm...just..."

"Overwhelmed?" I assumed, pushing her chin to get her to look at me.

She bit her lip and nodded, having a hard time with her eyes to just...look into mine.

"Aye that's to be expected. Question...is it over...now?" I wondered.

She got off me and stood up, pulling me up with her as she held my hand. I doubt she would want to let me go, lest I fade away or something like that.

"For real this time. But this has given us an opportunity." She said, her voice sounding a lot warmer.

I tilted my head.

"Oh? Got something in that pretty little head of yours?" I queried, being just. 

She nodded and smiled, whacking the palm of her left hand with her fist.

"This is inside the Maas, or the Seed that grows into the tree of choices. We are literally at the beginning of time." She revealed with interesting enthusiasm.

My eyes widened. I honestly was in the change of belief and disbelief. We've been through some crazy places but this had to be the craziest.

"So we didn't go to the Dreamsleeve?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"No. The Dreamsleeve takes the essence of your soul and reconstructs it. You can normally get to that through the Laaglein. It normally appears when you're either on the brink of death or just really wanting to die." She answered.

I grabbed her hands and ran my fingers over hers. That statement makes me a bit concerned.

"Petra..." I murmured.

She looked at me straight in the eye. I felt her being serious for once.

"No. Bryn. I'd only saw it elsewhere once with Diga when she was helping me find you. I was in such a state that I could have died if I wanted to. But...it makes sense seeing how you always hear stories of people dying in their sleep." She continued.

Here's me thinking it was just unexplainable. In a magical way, now there's a reason.

"I had go through the Seed because it allowed me to speak with the Gods themselves to negotiate terms for myself. They wanted me to become Sotrahkun because she needed the concept of mortality stuck better in her head. Because they knew Alduin himself wanted me to transform into a dragon to prove a point, but in the end, Akatosh agreed to let my mind be intact, to allow a true dragonborn to take him down as per the legend."

I was right. Both us were needed.

"Huh. They have interesting ways to punish people don't they?" I theorized.

Petra grinned.

"Yeah they do. I also think it's like an insult as well. They're prepared for these kinds of scenarios." She said.

I figured as much. They should be all knowing after all.

"It wouldn't be the first time the Gods have come up with crazy decisions. But they made the right one in the end." I stated.

My heart weakened at the sight of her cheeks reddening. She had the human essence of her, the right balance of power and humility. She then pouted, then smiled.

"Must have. Neither of us would be here otherwise." Petra pointed out.

She looked far more confident than I had ever seen her. She was so serene, yet still cute and was still Petra of the same kind. I was blessed with her very presence.

"What will you do then?" I asked her.

Petra tapped her lip with her index finger.

"I did say after all that happened that I would end up fixing things. And now I can..." She said.

She stood back and closed her eyes, smiling as she rose her arms up, emitting a white glow. Above me were odd dark blue, ethereal vein like creations that spawned from one horizon to the other horizon. And they just kept coming and coming until the skies above were filled with them, as they pulsed with interesting energies.

"This is the true Currents of Time as we can see it. And there's one thing I forgot to mention."

I looked at her as she said that, crossing my arms.

"What would that be?" I wondered.

Petra looked focus as she plucked a feather from her dress, which I swore wasn't there before and flew up to one of the lines, or branches.

"It's fascinating how they call it the currents, yet it comes from the Seed that grows into the tree. Yet, it's like water. Symbolism at it's finest." She replied.

Seems these things are more literal.

"Well you can't be perfect." I commented.

She examined them thoroughly.

"No...you can't. Which is why time lines are made. Choices are made. Alternate worlds are made. It's because that of what we decide as people, as those sentients who decide what to do could ultimately, turn the tide of battle." Petra continued.

Another pun. Grand. I just groaned, which seemed to amuse her.

"You have to see that there are choices that people will make at the tip of a hat without giving it much thought and it can have consequences that ripple throughout multiple timelines. If it's confirmed to be in everyones timeline, we considered it fixed. Most that are fixed also determine the fates of others. Occasionally, that fate can be overturned. Either if it's just by choice or other. It also means if you decide to go back in time that perhaps another branch will be grown from that, and another timeline is born."

I nodded. It's interesting to hear how it all works.

"So they call you Fateless because either way, you get to write out the rest of your story when it's all over." I acknowledged, pointing out the title for it's previous use for irony.

She flew around, as if trying to find a particular branch. I followed her, as I was trying to absorb it all.

"Exactly. I was told that I would have to do it irregardless but anything after that was ultimately up to me. I wasn't sure what the point of that would be until now. I'm the Mother of Dragons, Wife of Akatosh, Dragonborn originally, Petra Doom-Driven, Regkosot (have to remember my own avatar I send out...it's a portion of my power by the way. This is just me transformed for this place). Guardian of the Maas and the Tree of Choices. But as my path of Dragonborn and my mind consistently mortal proceeds me, I have been granted the position of Scribe of the Currents. Meaning, I literally write fate." She explained.

I rubbed my chin and laughed.

"Lass, I can tell you, you have a wealth of surprises that a lot of people would try to steal from." I teased.

She giggled. She liked that. Her face lit up as she looked like she had found what she was looking for.

"Yeah it's pretty much just that. I can tell what time line as what and can grow branches, but I can cut them short, or alter them without having to create a new branch. But either way..."

She fiddled with the feather in her hand. I see...as outlandish as it was. It was almost mythical but it was definitely not something you'd speak out of your ass for, that's for sure. I walked closer, as Petra flicked her finger, as I was suddenly brought up my head in between multiple branches. I was cautious.

"Relax, you don't have to be worried about breaking anything." She told me with a giggle.

"You'll phase through like water. Only my feathers can do damage...don't ask me why...or your head would most likely implode." Petra said as a matter of fact.

I rolled my eyes. Of course it would. The one she was looking intensively at had a huge red mark on it, like a ball that stopped the flow in it's tracks, as the other lines continued to grow in other directions.

"What's that, if you don't mind me asking." I said.

She nodded.

"That's a Dragon Break. That's where we were beforehand. It happened straight after Alduin came back from...the Currents. They also have other fixed marks in time as well like this, not just for Dragon Breaks. And other significant changes to the timeline already made. Just imagine them like bandages, trying to hold time together." Petra explained.

Her face fell. This wasn't good.

"What's the matter?" I queried, concerned.

She shook her head.

"Alduin was sent across time via the tongues in the Merethic era. This particular timeline we're in now was already heavily altered and desperate to be fixed. Sotrahkun was trying her hardest to compensate for the persistent breaks. This may have what caused her to fall ill." She theorized.

Push too hard, somethings bound to crack.

"So, when Alduin reappeared and he decided to screw around with time itself...this looks like one big break he made." I said.

Petra agreed.

"Although this one of many fixed points in time however. Majority of the timelines themselves have this happen anyway. Irregardless. Looking at the information and time flow of the other branches, the way that I was sent to Skyrim was in fact a lot earlier than intended." Petra revealed, also to her own confusion.

I crossed my arms.

"In what way?" I wondered.

She took me further down, or earlier in the timelines we were looking at.

"I was sent an invitation to come to Skyrim, then was captured by the Legion alongside the Stormcloaks. ...oh..oh gods."

Not again.

"Find something?"

She nodded.

"I can see this clearly, from when I had left home in Cyrodiil. My own memories were fabricated. The Thalmor were informed that I was Dragonborn by Prolg. By his word of a Daedric Prince..." She said.

Again? A Daedra was involved?

"Not Mehrunes Dagon was it after what happened two hundreds before that?" I asked her.

I was worried history would repeat itself.

"No. Wasn't him. It may have been the same Daedra that corrupted Alduin as well...or it may not have been a Prince at all... But...I see here that Cultists raided my home and took my mother and father hostage and...ugh..."

I walked up to her and placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Lass...you alright?" I said, worried. She appeared to have a head ache as she rubbed her temples.

"I'll be fine Bryn. It's that this has been set up for a while. Thousands of years of plotting just for revenge."

She seemed so distraught over it, over everything just because of Alduin's plotting and this so called Daedra's intervention.

"So what will you do?" I asked her, rubbing her face.

She looked up at me.

"I may need to make some alterations, but ultimately, the cycle will eventually start again and it spans too far on too many time lines to determine whether or not the whole saga will repeat itself." Petra said.

Because branches are born from choices.

"So you won't let this timeline flow again?" I wondered.

She sighed.

"Alduin's done enough damage. But it will flow again but the time line itself is wrecked. So many dead when they weren't supposed to be and you and I...I dunno. You kind of made the sacrifice yourself there, but you still have the Ring of Verity, which saved your life in a way. It's saved both of us, many times." 

I rolled my eyes. Quit being cryptic.

"So what can we do?" I asked again.

She looked at the feather in between her fingers.

"Hmm...I have a few ideas in mind. I might try merging two time lines." Petra suggested in a weird way.

My eyes widened.

"Merging? You can do that?" I questioned.

She shrugged.

"Don't know. It seems to just...not feel right in a sense that I can only feel. This time line I mean, but by merging with another, I may be able to set things right in a more positive glance." She continued.

She clasped her hands together and was suddenly beaming.

"Right so that's what I will do. It won't be perfect but it will certainly fix a few problems. I'm not aiming for perfection, I'm aiming for the right balance, which this one so clearly lacked."

I wasn't sure what what she was on about, but anyway.

"So anything you need from me?" I queried.

She grinned as she started writing in the air, in what appeared to be the dragon language and text written in gold.

"I'll always need something from you Bryn, but that's what I like about you. Even if you don't have it, you'll have the next best thing. I'll send you back for now. All I need you to do is trust me."

I smiled.

"Of course I trust you lass. I don't know what your plan is but I know you have good intentions." I announced, then I remembered.

All those years ago, a woman came along and told me to make a pretty girl fall in love with me.

Like you did back when you saved my life when I was younger."

She laughed.

"Ahh you remember that now? Okay good, good. Keep that Amulet of Articulation with you for now. And at the right time you will know what to do because I will make you do it."

That didn't sound too promising.

"Don't stress about it though, I'm writing it out as we speak. For now I'll cast you back. And when the time comes, you will feel the influences entering your mind at a slow pace. Just so your head doesn't get overloaded with new information. The Ring you're wearing will assist with that. In fact, it's perfect since it comes from another world to begin with. I'll have to speak with Wheatley about those enchantments."

I still have no idea what she's doing.

"Should I expect something to happen?" I queried.

She nodded.

"As I said, I'll handle it. Let it work itself out. Once you get there, you'll understand what I mean. I'll see you again soon."

And with that, my vision faded. Thankfully, she confirmed I will see her once more.


	109. Reintroductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bryn adjusts to the changes made.

 

I'm sitting at the Ragged Flagon, having an ale. My fingers follow the cold curves of the tankard as I slouch back in my chair in my solid little corner by myself in the dreary, barely lit, sorry of an excuse of a tavern in the infamy of my Thieves Guild gear. This was a fragment of the world that was surrounded in a drip: humid, moist and the smell of the sweat of everyone man and woman in the cistern.

Some might say this isn't the best life for me but Talos' be damned if I didn't say I'm thankful to be alive. I'm just a pretentious and tenacious lad and I'm proud of it. I've been part of the Thieves Guild for several years, since my father is Second-in-Command to Guildmaster Gallus. Not all is perfect. There are days where people in general just piss me off while others I'm having the time of my life.

My memory shifts and changes, but she said that would happen, my mind catching up with the alterations she's made to it. And I think, she said it wouldn't be perfect but to me, it's better than what I could have hoped. Much better than I am forever grateful. It's just missing one thing.

Petra.

I have adjusted to the fact that reality itself has been relatively stable, mind you. It's probable that it's structured in a way that she feels will make me happy. Gallus is still alive and still Guildmaster. Mercer, well, I was still in sheer disbelief that he was my father and the way he treats me as his son is still all too fresh and alien to me. But as the memories converge, it feels like he's always been there. However, Delvin and Vex are still bitter towards one another, but Tonilia and Vekel take all bets that one day she'll accept his proposal. Yeah they're together and Tonilia and Vekel are married in a sense, but it's an amusing game to witness for sure.

The Guild has never been richer. But the problem is, that all the effort that Petra had given to get the Guild back to strength never happened. Because the Guild was never in that state of decline caused by Mercer, or Prolg, whom I've heard nothing from ever since.

Part of me is saddened by the forgotten sacrifices that she's made. It'd be crazy to tell them that there was once a thief that saved the entire Guild. But it didn't need saving. Not anymore. Time manipulation is difficult to understand though. But I keep looking at the Ring of Verity on my finger to allow me to still believe that it all happened, as my memories continue to merge. I'd even asked the stupid question asking where she was and they all looked at me crazy, saying they'd never heard of her.

It definitely happened and I am the only one to say that. While I'm happy to say I've gone back to my line of work and normalcy has certainly been brought back to the Guild once again, I know nothing is ever the same again.

Mercer has me working with our contacts, ensuring that are clients needs are tended to. Karliah and Nemetona do their hard work for collecting and storing secretive information relating to the Guild. I'm positive I'm still a Septim, but Neme works hard to ensure my own future is kept secure and perhaps may never end up telling me who I am. She doesn't need to. So I will never need to ask.

Word is the Thalmor were still in the loop, but the situation with the dragons has been alleviated somewhat. I'm wagering that it'd have something to do with Sotrahkun, but like all legends themselves, there will be another crisis that will occur later on down the track, I'm sure.

Mercer and I are at our home. Riftweald Manor. It's hard to place ourselves in an actual home. But he mostly has dealings with Gallus who continues to groom him as his successor. I pray that he doesn't turn insane like he did previously, but all encounters may paint him as a grouch, he's much more respectful to everyone else, especially the women. I put the front on for the Manor, masquerading as a business itself, having a finger in the wealth of Riften alongside Maven Black-Briar and no one thinks it as such.

The Civil War will continue to rage as it always has. Disappointing to see Ulfric still in his stubborn mind about the White-Gold Concordat but it's less of a hassle as I feel that while the Thalmor were still ravaging about, they're not nearly as much as a threat as they're made out to be. Which was a relief.

You can say the normalcy I so desired and wished for had returned. Oddly enough, it's strange to not find the peculiar issue relating to magical or godlike particular's. I've had too much of that within the span of Shor knows how long. I guess that's why thieves enjoy Nocturnal's gift so much. They really don't have to do much, that the debt to repay her isn't as bad as compared to the many rewards by sticking by what they know well. As long as her stuff isn't stolen or desecrated. So much irony in that.

Though I think melancholy has overridden me at times. I'm sitting here on my own and as Mercer stares at me the way he does, it's like he can see it written on my face. I'm in the shadows but there's no fooling shadow masters like him. He walked over, dragging a chair and sitting down, examining me as a father would.

"I've noticed you've been down lately. Normally you're pretty perky, even for a grown man. What's on your mind?" He asked me.

It still doesn't feel right as him as my father. But it's to make up for lost time in my mind, but what ever Sotrahkun did, I doubt we lost time at all. It's just time resetting itself for the better. Part of what's still fresh in my mind as to what he did to Petra, but the look in the eyes of the man before me holds no real scorn or contempt, or desire for murder or worse. Grouchy yes, but that's to be expected. He's under the stress like I was of being second fiddle, but he's always made time for other people, when Gallus was always busy in the middle of an important job that drags him away from the Flagon every so often.

So he takes it out on me, like he used to. But it's so much as that it's a lot less secretive than it is for him to bark orders at me to do things but in a way that is...heh..supportive? Karliah said it best when she was describing Nocturnal, that in a sense that he was trying to push me to be better. It took me time for my mind to adjust to that and it's still creepy. I still try and find if he's a vampire or not. He's cold but not insane and he's often full of life and warmth in very rare moments. Or mother so says...

I'm busy fiddling with the handle of the tankard, dragging the tip of my thumb against it.

"Oh aye. It's nothing." I lied.

He rolled his eyes. I guess some things never change.

"Nothing my ass. I know that look when I see it. Spit it out and it'd make it easier for the both of us." He barked like an order.

Ah yes. Of course. But how do you tell a man that you're remembering things that never happened and you're missing a girl you've practically never met? He'd send me to the Warrens without a second thought.

I'll try and weasel my words in as much as I can if I can't convince him to leave me alone.

"Just...stuff you'll never understand." I told him.

His mouth did that slight twitch it used to do when ever he got annoyed.

"Brynjolf I'm not an idiot. When somethings got you down, you definitely know it's nothing something light. You've been like this for a while. Just hit me with what ever's got you in the gripe."

He's tenacious isn't he? He is the same man who tried hunting Karliah down for years. Which probably means he won't give up on his own son. I sighed.

"Alright...it's...it's a girl."

That definitely rose an eyebrow that's for sure. And his eyebrow doesn't rise often. Curiosity doesn't kill him. It means you're wondering what's in there. No. Mercer knows what's in there. And wants to try and get it out of you even if he doesn't outright say it.

"A girl eh? Should've guessed. I've never seen you with any girls before. Or did someone catch your eye while you were out on a job?" He asked me.

Yeah, let's go with that.

"She's a fine woman, but she...she doesn't know me yet." I told him. I don't even know if that's true.

"A woman? Hah. Yeah girls are too...prancy for my liking. A woman. Yeah you need a woman in your life for sure. You still have the mark of a boy on you." He said with a chuckle.

I think I had this conversation with Petra previously. I don't think that makes you a man. It just makes you lucky and blessed. That's my opinion of it anyway.

"Want my opinion? Women are difficult to live with. They're always demanding and I think they enjoy yelling at us."

I smirked.

"Is that why you married mother?" I asked.

He snuffed me off. Amusing.

"That's got nothing to do with that." He said.

Sure. I kept a smile as I sipped my mead.

"What ever you say pops..."

He took a big scull of his ale and slammed it on the table, almost stunning me. He leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees as he concentrated on staring me with ferocity.

"Okay. So...what's your problem? Too scared to talk to her?" He asked me.

So this is the problem. How do I tell him I've never met her because I don't even know if she exists anymore? Since the dragon problem was already taken care of...I think, we've had no real need of dragonborn to exist or they do and it's not Petra. I have heard rumors, but I'd look crazy in doing so. It saddens me as such that it might be the case. Do I tell him she's dead or what? How do I know for sure? Sotrahkun said she was going to fix things, not make them worse.

But she also said she wasn't aiming for perfection but balance. If the dragons weren't going to be the problem I'd figure Petra would have never had the need to come to Skyrim. For all I know she may be still in Cyrodiil.

"Ahh I shouldn't worry about a lost cause. She's probably already married." I lied again...to an extent.

He grumbled.

"You quit too easy you know that? Hmph. You'll never get anywhere with that attitude. Speaking of which, I need you to speak with Ri'saad with Whiterun. Tonilia needs another shipment of merchandise to be sent to him, pronto."

* * *

Work's work I suppose. Petra enjoyed it enough. She was the best of us, in my opinion. Part of me feels like it's been such a waste of skills and talent that she'd be allowed to work with us if she so chose. Lass was brilliant and brought us wealth that we hadn't seen in years.

Now that life was functioning the way it should be like a well-oiled set of gears, that it wouldn't have been her purpose, and she'd be just like any other thief living under the wiles of the Guild. I Here I am though, as I ride Lucky out of Riften and past Shor's Stone, following the tracks to the central city. The skies themselves were blue with the odd patch of clouds here and there as I traveled against a brisk wind.

Mercer often got me scattering the merchandise across Skyrim for the Khajiit Caravans. Shrewd traders. But they reminded me of lil' Ayisha and how much Petra loved her. It pains me to think where that young lass might be and if they're treating her right. And the appearance of dunmer remind me of the Nerevarine or Azarath as he preferred to be called...made me wonder where he was as well.

Our little adventure that never was brought me to realize how well we worked together despite the odds stacked against us. We're all considered special from our little wells of God-blessed bloodlines or some other bullcrap like that. Not me though. Mercer, I don't know if he knows if we're related to Talos but I don't think he needs to know. He loves mother and mother hasn't told him squat...I'd like to think she hasn't. If she has, then I'm surprised that he would keep a tight lid about it, instead of preaching my bloodline as superior and the fact that we would contend to be next in line to be Emperor never crossed his mind. So I'm theorizing he just doesn't know.

But it's work nonetheless. Nothing special. I think the main problem is that while I prefer to leave things as they were, I'd rather have Petra with me. At least she had the same grasps of understanding here. It's a feeling that I'd never think I'd have an issue with.

I felt lonely.

While the guild was back in full swing and it was great to see everyone alive and well and better off, it just didn't fit me the way it used to. I'd say it's the convergence of two sets of memories trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't. Everything I saw made me question and doubt myself, that what ever happened wasn't real and that one day those memories might disappear for good.

It's complicated, that I know for sure. It's difficult when no one else will believe your stories. I could pretend they're nothing but bizarre dreams. So in reality, there really wasn't anyone else.

I froze as an arrow shot past me. I pulled out my blade, which was just an ordinary dwemer blade. Rahkes itself must have gone back to it's original form, knowing it's real master was most likely dead for good. I somewhat miss the Priest as well, but his sacrifice won't be forgotten.

But still, an arrow just went right past me. I looked around, seeing a dead wolf on the ground nearby. Had could I have not heard that? Sneaky bastard.

"Hey watch it!"

I turned my head to the owner of that voice. My eyes widened at the bony thin face with the light brown hair in a pony tail and light blue eyes that glistened with life in the sun, somewhat cramped in nordic carved armour. Something that Delvin says is often found at Solstheim. She was holding a bow, grasping it strongly in her hands. She held poise that I've never seen before and a smile on her face that was riddled with confidence. But make no mistake...it had to be her.

"Petra!" I gasped.

She put her bow away and rose an eyebrow at me.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

She had to be joking.

"It's me, Bryn." I told her.

She just looked at me with strange face.

"Bryn? Sorry, I don't know you. But I'm curious as to how you know my name?"

My face fell as my heart nearly broke in two. Why can't she?

Sotrahkun...she must have erased her memories. It would have been difficult to live with anyway. I wonder if she's still dragonborn...or not. A dragonborn doesn't need to exist anymore. Perhaps this was the normal life she desired. Still...she would have still been in Cyrodiil. I think. My head hurts thinking about it.

"I'm sorry. I'm Brynjolf. I thought..."

Had to make up a story like one of my old get rich quick schemes.

"We have a mutual friend I believe...spoke of your description." I lied again.

She smirked.

"Ah I see. Glad to see I'm making a difference there. Guess you're associated with one of our clients. Sorry if I almost hit you there. That wolf was giving some farmers a hard time. Didn't mean to scare you."

I smiled and shook my head.

"Nah that's okay. I was just on my way to Whiterun."

She nodded.

"Ah okay good. I'll join you. I've got to get back myself. Just need to get my horse."

I watched as she stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled. Within a few seconds, a familiar horse road out of the woods nearby as Petra climbed aboard it. It looked like Cody. Heh...glad that's the same.

* * *

We trotted down the road to Whiterun, as Petra thought it would be safer for me in fact as she could watch my back. I know how to defend myself but she insisted on protecting me until I got there. That lass is sure something. She's changed, but I have to remember this isn't the Petra I knew, but the Petra reborn in the world without aggressive dragons to fear.

Turns out, she works for the Companions. I knew that lass had once discussed joining them at one stage, but all the crap at Helgen and the Western Watchtower did her over, forcing her to come to the Guild.

She's a lot stronger that I can see. I can't see an inch of that fear that I was never used to seeing. I must be crazy to seeing how attractive that makes her. I love her no matter what, but this was admittedly...okay. Part of me is obviously saddened that she doesn't know me in this world, but part of me is glad she doesn't remember all the terrible things that she was put through. And ultimately, whether she's a better person without it, is different story.

There is only so much one can recall before they go mad with the revelations. Petra is...strong, well she can be. While it would be lying to say she'd be able to take it, ultimately, she won't. She can be better than what she is and I've seen that. That this was the Petra that was able to do what she wanted and not be tied back by heavy burdens and actually enjoy the life she's so desired for so long. And good on her, she deserves it.

We parted ways as we left our horses as at the Stables. I had the bags of merchandise to give to the Caravan, while Petra needed to get back to Jorrvaskr.

She gave me a warm smile.

"Thanks for...uh escorting me here." I told her, jokingly.

She grinned and rolled her eyes, then looked at me from head to toe.

"That's what I'm here for friend. I'm always happy to lend a hand. Especially to cute people like yourself." She said with a wink.

Oh lass you make me blush. Yeah about that confidence? Through the roof.

"Hah. You're not shabby yourself. So...do I pay you for your services or?"

She laughed.

"No this one's on me. I'll get enough coin from this job to sate me over for a while. Say, finish what ever what you're here for and head over to the Bannered Mare for a drink? I could use a drinking buddy that doesn't end up howling for more."

Was that supposed to be an innuendo? I think my face has gone red. It certainly feels heated.

"Tempting. Yeah why not?"

* * *

We parted ways after that agreement as she waved back to me and bit her lip before heading towards the gates into the city. Part of me wanted to know whether this was planned or it was fate itself that drew us together again. She's meant to be Fateless or that of which Sotrahkun had written instructions of how we were going to meet. It's laughable though. That Petra, while that she didn't remember me, has already asked me out for a drink on the terms of my rugged good looks. I have a good feeling about it though.

I spoke with Ri'saad as I had given him a load of merchandise and a satchel of moon sugar to boot. A khajiit's favorite mind you. I'd noticed he had a new caravaneer that I'd never seen before. Well, with them anyway. Her face...or more to the point, her fur drew something to me.

It wasn't Ayisha. She had a older face. Much older. It wasn't until Ri'saad asked for Tsavani to help him with the gear, I had realized that it was her mother. I wanted to inquire about her daughter, but that would be a very bad idea for many reasons.

Time displacement is one thing. Wanting to know the fates of others is another. But I don't know what counts as real these days. The convergence doesn't make it easier. It makes it harder to know the truth. I'd imagine that Ayisha would have been in Elsweyr still, I'd hope, without the Cult abusing her as such.

But I'd upheld my end of our little agreement. As soon as I was finished, I went into the city and into the Bannered Mare. I felt like an outsider looking in, and that was in more ways than one. I can't picture myself being like them anymore, ignorant of the true reality behind all of us.

The Bannered Mare was filled with your regular customer. The drunk, the sell-sword, the usuals. Petra was in the corner as she lifted her bottle of mead at me. I sat down as I ordered one for myself and sat on a chair opposite her and just enjoyed the late afternoon chatting with her.

"This is going to sound weird, but I feel like I've met you somewhere before." Said Petra as she pointed at me, slouching and relaxing with a grin on her face.

Oh Petra, only if you knew.

"What? We only met earlier today. Forget that already?" I joked.

She rolled her eyes.

"Pfff no not that. I meant, way before. Bah. Stupid thing to say."

I chuckled. It was amusing to see her frustrated this way. She looks better off where she is now. I don't want to disturb her it if it's making her happy.

"So, what was wrong with drinking with the howlers you mentioned before?" I asked her.

She leaned back and placed her feet on the table, then crossed them. Elegant.

"They can be fun to drink with. As Companions we get to share stories in the mead hall. I mean, that's all we do is drink most of the time if we're not on a job. But lately, I've been looking for some more meaning to my life than the noble life of slaying beasts and taking care of problems other's can't handle, for the glory of my shield-siblings and the nifty coin that comes along with it."

Sounded like she was getting bored of it. Huh. Maybe it wasn't the life she wanted after all? I wanted to hear more.

"Not...glorious enough for you?" I wondered.

She shrugged.

"I'm not complaining about the work. Works work. But I get tired of the same type of story. Maybe I'm just looking for something more...exciting."

She continues to fiddle with the handle on her tankard as her glistening eyes shine in the lights of the candles. Her face was a bit rougher, or was it just toughened by her more active roles as an honorable member of the Companions?

"Exciting eh? Did you have anything in mind?" I queried.

It's funny seeing her like this. She's got this attractive...or even more attractive quality than before. She who was once fearful and unsure of herself in many ways, brought a new light to the relatively same Petra who was just as relaxed around me as if nothing had happened. Different histories of course. I sincerely hope Sotrahkun wasn't going to screw this over. But knows my face at least, but doesn't know why. She's left hints, I'm completely certain of that.

"They call me Dragonborn and I have hunted dragon kind in the past. Even got their big leader, Alduin in a place you'd never suspect. I guess after that everything else became a bit dull."

I rose an eyebrow. So Alduin still existed yet she had already defeated him. So what ever had been done was...well, done. With her destiny already completed, I think she was ready for the next installment of what ever she wanted to do next. Or if Sotrahkun had anything planned.

Yet, she was not afraid to admit it either. She held no contempt for the role judging from the tone in her voice. It sounded so natural, like it was supposed to be this way. I'm in over my head on this.

"Impressive. So you're a grand hunter then eh lass? Make all the companions jealous."

She snorted.

"Oh yeah, killing dragons and dragon-gods? No better honour than making a god bleed."

I smiled as her words and tone were so proud yet filled with original Petra sarcasm. She was like the perfect blend of old and new. I took a sip of my mead and relished in her accomplishments.

"So the stories of their honour got old. What kind of stories are you looking for now?"

She shrugged and took a swig.

"Anything new and exciting. I want to make discoveries and go to places people haven't been to in hundreds of years. My trips around Skyrim have been a blessing to be honest..."

She told me extravagant stories and adventures of great detail that she could probably write a book about them. How she found an Elder Scroll at the bottom of a dwemer city ruin, one that was filled with beauty and like it was constructed by the Gods themselves. It was known as Blackreach. I have a distinct loathing of dwemer ruins myself but. By the way she described it, it would be considered unique amongst all of them.

She told me of Sovngarde and how it really exists and how she had met famous spirits. One could take into account that there were at least four empty bottles of mead cluttered about the table in front of her, so it was easy to think that it was the drink talking, but her sincerity in her words made me believe her. That and I've seen worse...or more bizarre things than I have ever needed to in one lifetime.

The both of us chatted into the night and got a bit more drunk. I had admitted I was with the Thieves Guild which she found surprising. She was angry at first, I think, until she said I was too hot to be a thief. Or maybe that was why she found me so appealing, a roguish lad in her presence that made her loins feel funny. Her just saying that made me blush harder than ever.

Again it has to be the mead. I was genuinely liking her more relaxed state. A weight had lifted itself off my shoulders knowing that fact.

* * *

Afterwards, we'd left the Mare to visit her house Breezehome. She made drunken statements that she forgot to mention she was also the Thane of Whiterun. We stood outside the door as she stood in front of me, her eyes hazy and filled with something I couldn't describe. I was a bit on the loose side myself.

"Did you want to come in? Have something to eat? It's a lot quiet here and the Mare is too loud with rowdy warriors for me to care about." She asked me.

I really wasn't sure I should. I wanted to. But this wasn't the exact same Petra yet. I may have known her for ages, but she's only known me for half a day, yet she acts like she's already caught claim. I did propose to her under the gaze of her ancestor Sheogorath and the Goddess Mara and I wonder if it's still relevant here. I don't know only because it's a Gods type of thing.

I nodded anyway, as a friendly gesture.

We sat down in the living room in front of the nice fire. The warm glow was inviting and the silence was nice, only hearing the occasional snap from the kindling. Petra handed me a red apple, while she dived into a green one, like she hadn't eaten all day.

She had told her housecarl, Lydia to take the night off. Why would she want to let her do that? Petra probably feels she doesn't need her right now and can take care of herself. Fair enough. But we both kept chatting into the early hours of the morning about our own adventures, especially just the boring jobs I do for the Guild.

"So they don't let you do all of the good stuff? How boring." She commented.

I didn't mind. Kept me going.

"It's my father. He works me to the bone." I told her.

She took a huge bite of her apple, then threw it away in the trash bin nearby and grabbed two bottles of mead, flinging one to me.

"Yeah mine's like that. I'm from Cyrodiil myself. My parents and I worked on the farm. I'd gone to visit my cousin in Skyrim after reports her parents died. But I got stuck in an ambush with some stormcloaks. Can you believe I was on the same carriage as Ulfric Stormcloak? What are the odds?"

Confirms what Ulfric once told me anyway. It must be one of those fixed points in time Sotrahkun talked about.

"You do have far more interesting adventures, meeting Ulfric himself must have just started it all." I assumed.

She fiddled with a bottle of mead in her hand, flipping it around in her hands.

"Yeah maybe. I'm still longing for something more you know. I feel...I know this is going to sound strange, but it's like I'm missing a part of my life. But don't know where to find the piece of it."

Something more? Missing a part? Sotrahkun...did you organise a convergence for Petra too? The signs were there, I'd gone through the same process for a while until it dawned on me what was really going on. I had been wearing the Ring of Verity to take hold of my original memory then allowing the new memories to come aboard over time. Mercer thought I was acting odd at first but in the end he didn't care. He still thinks I'm acting odd. It's only recently he decided to actually want to talk about it. Now I had to figure out how to answer that.

"Not strange. If you want my opinion lass, it's that we're all missing parts and we're always looking to fill it. I think that's not something you already had and lost, but it's a void there to be filled by somebody else. But that's just me talking out of my ass."

It was then her face froze. Did I say something wrong?

Her head turned to me with a expressionless face. Yet her eyes were scanning me all over. What did I do? She then faced forward, and ended up rubbing her temples.

"I must be out of my mind." She mumbled.

Hm?

"In what way?" I asked her, a bit concerned.

She laughed weakly as she ran her hand over her hair and shook her head.

"I swear I have met you before. You don't remember meeting me previously?"

Yes.

"Not that I can think of." I lied.

She pouted.

"It's just that, lately I've been having strange dreams. Dreams of things I've never seen or heard of before. Now, what I said earlier was definitely real, no lies there. But there are times where I've dreamed of being a vampire and a dragon? I am a dragonborn, but this was full on like an actual dragon."

Sly Sotrahkun...very sly.

"But they've felt real! I'm trying to figure what the dreams mean. And..."

She looked at me again, head to toe, then squinted and pointed with both index fingers at me, then took a huge sip.

"I've...I've seen you in my dreams. Are we destined to meet or something? Or maybe the Gods themselves drew us here together for a reason."

Quite surprised she drew to that conclusion quite quickly. I had to fake not knowing.

"Dunno. But you're a Companion and I'm just a member of the Thieves Guild. How could we possibly be compatible?" I said, trying to drown out the near accidental sarcasm that might have been dripping with.

She chuckled.

"Bah. We all do our jobs to get the Septim. Just have different methods that's all."

We clashed our bottles of mead together, and downed them both at the same time. She shot off her chair and stretched her arms. I got up as well, assuming she was about to go to bed.

"Want me to leave?" I asked.

She looked at me, stunned. She then approached me and grabbed my hands as she grew close. In any other occasion where we were previously, this was fine. Every time I had to catch myself thinking it was all the same when it was different, made this situation awkward indeed.

"No. I want you to stay. You don't boast too loudly like they do..." She said softly, placing her hand on my cheek and carressing it. Gods I missed that.

"But I'm feeling the pinch. And I know it seems so sudden and it's random. I mean, I just met you, in real life of course not those stupid dreams and I-"

I know what she wants and I'll give it to her, so I grabbed that tiny little head of hers and pressed her lips against mine. Gods knows this was wrong. But if Sotrahkun had written down a scenario for her like she did for me, it may take Petra some time to recall what had been forgotten.

But they were definitely those same lips I have kissed many times before and the same tongue tasting the same mead. Only filled with the hint of apple. We parted slowly, as I looked at Petra's reddened cheeks. I released my grip on her head as we stood back. Her eyes were widened with surprise as she rubbed the back of her head. She...she was nervous?

"Gods Bryn, you're fierce. I like that. How about you and I head upstairs? Been a while since I've had the opportunity to feel the skin of a proper man."

She was consenting at least. Which was important. But the hard part was needing to pretend it was casual, but when it comes to sex, which I've only had with the Previous Petra, I had no idea what the difference was between a one night stand or general lovemaking, as the books called it. They never really got in great detail. The Lusty Argonian Maid explicit edition was barred from most libraries and general goods stores.

I nodded and smiled as she grabbed my hand and walked me upstairs, the same way she dragged me off the floor that one night in the abandoned cavern, to hide away from the storm.

* * *

She took me into the bedroom, subtle, wooden and lit with candles on plate sitting on a bedside table. I helped her get out of her armour, revealing the beauty of her toned yet still relatively skinny body. She was more bulky than I remember. But she's more active and strong with the Companions. It demands strength more than skill and trickery. And she had the same set of scars, oddly enough. It was like one of those pieces of artwork you'd come across from the more obscure artists from Cyrodiil and High Rock. The largest was underneath her left breast, bringing back bad memories from all the times she had gotten stabbed there. From Mercer. From me. Twice...I'd felt faint.

"Woah, you alright? You just went pale all of a sudden?" She asked me, face riddled with worry.

"Don't like what you see?"

I looked at her with a surprised expression. What? No it wasn't that.

"Lass, no, it's just that I..."

Just either be honest and scare the crap out of her Brynjolf, or just tell a white lie and conjure up one of your 'stories'.

"I've never seen anyone else with the beauty like yours. I'd say each of those have their own tales to tell. So many tales. You could be like a multi-volume book." I joked. But being serious at the same time. Some how.

But the look on her face...just went deep red again as she smiled with a seductive quirk.

"Oh you are the charmer. I see why all the girls want bad boys these days. They can be good with their honeyed words." She spoke with a sultry tone.

She got closer and helped me take my armour off as well and after doing so, ran her fingers down my chest that I twitched haphazardly as she did so. It was as she was cold, but I still shivered underneath her touch. She bit her lip and grinned at me as she grabbed my hand and kissed me again. Still those same kisses. She may have forgotten a lot, but everything else still came second nature to her. She gave it the similar passion but I think, by the furrowing of her brows, she was confused as to why that was.

"Something the matter?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"No...no..." She said, then licking her lips.

"I feel so comfortable here and I don't know why."

I tilted my head.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked her.

She chuckled.

"No way. Trust me, if I wasn't, we wouldn't be here now would we?"

I shrugged and grinned her.

"Good point."

We continued to exchanged kisses as we wrapped our arms around one another. I don't think we made it to the bed even, despite it just being there. We'd dropped to the floor as we continue to crash our lips together and felt each others bodies as we ran our hands up and down each other. While you don't normally open your eyes while doing so, we stopped every so often to get a good glance at one another. I'm assuming she's just trying to figure something out. I won't stop her. If Sotrahkun is giving her this chance to slowly recollect lost memories, it has to be something that needs to be done on her own.

She got on top of me and grinding herself against me. It was agonizing, leaving my member unattended like when she was giving her version of punishment previously. With both our breaths hot, and goosebumps popping up on our skin, it was obvious we had to go somewhere warmer and softer.

I got her up as I picked her up via her cheeks, allowing her to wrap her arms around my neck and her legs around my back. I did the same with my arms around her waist as we continued to satiate our hunger for each others mouths. She moaned, sending sharp pangs to my groin. I gulped as my adams apple bounced.

I was nerved for the oddest of reasons. But we weren't having problems with it. Not really. I dropped her on the bed as she smiled at me, as I shuffled myself on top of her, planting my arms beside her as she took off her bra. Ah yes. Those small, round pieces of flesh. Those that I was still thoroughly pleased to stare at. My pelvis though was giving into the minor thrusts at the moment. I was eager our breaths quickened and our hearts beating as they tried to cope with the intensity.

I forgot to mention how good it was to touch her skin again. And the bonus feeling of pride was when I ran my fingers over her scars, especially her big one, she did not wince or complain once. In fact, she actually moaned.

"Oh Gods...continue to touch me there..." She cried out.

My face reddened. Thrynn used to speak of these things...what were they called again? Egregious? Erroneous? Something like that. But's that area where people find it pleasing for others to touch, almost...arousingly so.

She was doing well so far, and if it's not of any concern to her, I'll do it. I ran my middle and index fingers across the diagonal scar, feeling the very subtle rough bump.

" _Ahhhhhhh..._ "

Gods this was killing me. It clenched my heart, made me skip a beat and my member throbbing as she moaned and her pelvis thrusting upwards slightly. Her face twisted itself into pure pleasure, eyes scrunched closed and mouth left wide open.

"You...you are certainly talented with your fingers, Mister Thief." She muttered. She grabbed my fingers and shoved them downwards. I took that as a hint as I took back control and went all the way to find the real pleasure spot.

She strained as I put one finger inside, feeling her wetness like I had learned before. I don't know if I was considered a virgin here or not. Meh, didn't matter. I know what I'm doing now and I don't intend to stop.

Her breath hastened as with each inhale and exhale become quick hurried puffs with the occasional groin-striking moan. Gods I missed this.

I put another finger in and went in a bit faster, just like before. But at the moment, for that moment, it was like just like everything was still okay, back in the original world we came from. I see why this was..uh...necessary.

She stopped me before it got too far. She forcibly took my fingers out, grabbing her underwear and flinging them off the bed. She grabbed mine as well as we negotiated it's eventual removal. Ahem.

It was then she admired me and tilted her head as she looked at my member, covered in red hair. She stroked it, as it twitched and hardened further underneath her touch. Gods, I...I...

I forced my mouth on her lips as I grabbed her and put my hips forward, allowing me to quickly slip myself inside of her. Everything in my body was aching and desperate, as I thrusted and took quick gasps of air. Her legs started out folded beside me, but every so often, one would rise and stretch as she moaned.

" _Ahh...oh Gods...oh sweet...ahhh...Oh Talos..._ "

I grunted as I placed my head over her shoulder, concentrating on my movements and breathing on her neck as our bodies clashed and clapped with each other. I could feel her tighten around me in the throes of our...obviously impassioned pleasures. I couldn't treat it any other way. I think that's what didn't feel right. I would make meaningful love. I have to. Anything else is considered less and pointless.

I could feel her fingernails digging in my back but I didn't care. Her moans got louder, which in turn aroused me further, and quickened the velocity of my thrusts, almost catching her off guard as she pushed upwards in our unsteady rhythms, just hungering for that final release.

But the sweat, the noise, the heat between us verses the normal chill in the air, the movement. The feeling of the skin to skin contact...it was nothing short of beautiful and divine in it's self.

" _Oh Petra, oh...by Shor argh..._ "

I was close now and I could feel her pulses closely enough that I could determine she was too. I got a bit faster, desperate as we puffed and panted alongside the odd grunt and groan. Her voice got louder, that it just fuzzed my ears out as I finally felt the sweet break, releasing all tension, heat into one powerful thrust as I let it all out, similarly as Petra nearly disappeared for a moment, her head up in the clouds as she thrashed against me. Soon after, we were lost in the afterthoughts of our...well, obvious lovemaking. I'd call it that if anything even if Petra doesn't know it.

After we recovered briefly, leaving our state of heaven, I dropped down beside her. But I caught the bewildered expression on her face as her arms were splayed out next to her head on the pillow, puffing and panting heavily and her eyes widened. I did the same as well, but I had the biggest grin. She turned her head to me.

"That was incredible. You do that to all the ladies?" She asked me.

"I don't know why you haven't gotten a woman already..."

Only if she knew...

"Aye lass, I only give my gifts to a rare few." I told her with a grin.

She rose an eyebrow, but smiled.

"Oh really? So you give your gift to someone you've just me-...oh..."

I got up as she felt her forehead and scrunched her face as she sat up, looking like she was in pain.

"Everything alright?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"I'll be fine. I get these headaches often. Never really happens after I've had sex."

I tilted my head. Often doesn't...that doesn't sound too great.

"Know what the reason is?" I wondered as I examined her closely.

She released her hand as she turned to me and smiled.

"Just random really. Like someone shot me in the head with a cross bow. Like I said, I'll be fine. I think I just need afterglow cuddles as all."

I chuckled. I would never be short of those.

"Cuddles coming right up."

* * *

I don't want to make any further assumptions about this, but it is safe to say that it's possible that it all could come back eventually. I laid down with her as she slept on my chest and I covered us both with blankets. I think the headache is part of the process. I get them occasionally, with the odd vision and sudden random memory here and there. Though I said I didn't want to make any assumptions as I honestly don't know what Sotrahkun is actually planning now, but I would guess that she put me with my old memories and allowing the new ones to surface, while Petra is new, then eventually converging with the old. Problem being that it's confusing her, being born and raised, somewhat the same, but events going along on a vastly differing path. I think it's good for her. No one wants to be living in fear all their lives. For now, we'll just have to wait and let time do it's thing and what ever happens, happens I guess.

I woke up before sunrise, hearing footsteps. I then was hugging Petra from behind, my arms around her waist. I figured that though this was only supposed to be a once off thing, I don't want Petra to get too attached until she's absolutely sure and if she ever get's her memories back that she'll return to Riften if she so chooses. If not and she's happy with the Companions, then that's okay too. Although she complains, I feel the philosophy she's lived by would still be in place as well.

She did say she was missing something though. She may return to the Guild maybe. But it gets confusing since she's never been there. Anyway, I kissed her on the cheek and got out of bed, covering her with the blanket and put on my gear as I stood in the door way and looked at her as she slept peacefully. This won't be the last time I'll be seeing her that's for sure. I'd met with her Housecarl briefly who looked me strangely. I had to assure the lass I meant Petra no harm. After she'd seen her Thane in bed, she gave me a smile and nodded, telling me she'd assumed she'd have someone over for the night, given the order to take the night off when she was supposed to. We had a slight chuckle and thanked the lass for looking after Petra and told her that the lass was special, before I left to go back to Riften.

* * *

Personally I'm content with it being this way. I've never had an experience that I did with her and at the snap of her...well, fingers? Claws? life was made right. It's strange but it's a bulk of what I wanted to begin with. I'm hopeful for the first time in many years. Even if Petra herself never ran off to Riften in the aftermath of realizing what she was. If she's happy, I'm happy. I'm certain she'll get the idea to come back at some point, once she makes the connections (I'm confident she will, she's smart as a whip after all.) she'll be wanting answers as well, that she'll remember

I'd gone back to the Guild the following day and sat at the Flagon like I always do, ready to go through the paperwork. All of a sudden I see Gallus enter and sit himself down in front of me. I smile as I acknowledge the Guildmaster.

"Aye sir, how are things?" I asked.

Gallus laughed. For all the Imperial's I've ever met, he was one of the strangest. He reminded me of a Petra, actually. A lot. He had brown (slightly graying) hair in a ponytail and green-grey eyes as as opposed to her sapphire blue but they had the same intensity.

"Bryn my boy how many times do I have to keep telling you not to call me sir?" He criticized.

"Can't help it sir." I said deliberately. Good thing with Gallus is that he did have a sense of humour.

He grinned as he got us some mead from Vekel and shoved one in my hand.

"As functional...or should I say as dysfunctional as they should be." He commented, before he took a whisk.

"Got some plans coming up soon. Your father, Karliah and I may be gone for a while."

I'm guessing secretive Nightingale things. This happened sometimes. Usually I'm left for acting Guild Master duties when that happens. Gallus liked to call me his Red-Headed All-Rounder.

"Of course. I'll make sure to keep all the footpads in line." I joked.

We clanked our bottles together in agreement. He then looked at me strangely.

"I was talking to your father earlier. Says you got some...issues with a woman?" He commented.

Shor's Bones Mercer, you honestly couldn't keep your mouth shut? Even these days you still can't trust him with secrets.

"Nothing that's going to cause any problems here. You have me primed and focused...sir." I assured him.

His grin indicated he knew something I didn't.

"I was gonna help you woo her, but you have a glow to your face today boy. Karliah and I were wondering why you didn't come back here last night. Stayed the night in Whiterun eh?" He said.

Gallus would never understand the full story but was it really that obvious? What in Oblivion was he on about? What is this glow?

"Appreciate the assistance boss, but I have it all under control. I promise you." I stated, wanting him to get off my back.

* * *

 

Gallus was like a second father. If he wasn't busy with his work, he'd be with the rest of us, having a chat. He always makes time for his people. If he's not chastising them for slacking off, of course. He's one to cause nerve when he's around but I would like think he'd like to have people prepared for their jobs and to take matters seriously if a jobs been allocated.

But I honestly think everything will fall into place. It will take some time. But I believe it will and I have faith in Petra.  
I may plan to visit her from time to time, see how she's going and discover more of the gifts she's yet to give, signs of such realization and the light in her eyes that tells me she's ready to move. I long to continue to laugh and play with her, to love her again. I'm a patient man and I'll only need to put up with it a bit more until the day comes along and suddenly everything's made clear. That my little torchbug will continue to bring light to the darkness. For now, she'll flutter there and will fly to me when she needs to.

Until next time we meet.

Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be on the look out for the sequel Chronophobia! Where we dive into new, strange and outright whacky adventures of Petra and Brynjolf and new exciting times.


End file.
